WEBVTT - Jason Tartick (Part 2) 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:11.119 Welcome to the home office in Austin, Texas. Chris Harrison 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:15.280 my continued conversation with Jason Tartik, who's here in Austin 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:18.319 with me, Buddy, I really appreciate you being here. I 0:00:18.320 --> 0:00:20.119 don't know if you're still appreciative of being here. 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:22.480 You know what, this seat is pretty hot, but you 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:24.920 know what, Chris, it's always good to have you across 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:26.320 the way. Thanks for having me back. 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:30.840 Before we left, obviously, things had gotten a little emotional. 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.839 We were talking about Caitlin, talking about the breakup and 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:37.280 everything you guys had gone through. So you know, we're 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:38.639 just gonna jump right back into it. 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:42.479 Let's do it. The breakup itself. 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:50.159 When I heard from you guys, it I'm trying to 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:54.440 think it didn't. It didn't surprise me only in that 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:56.520 I kept you know, I think a lot of us 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.040 kept waiting, Okay, when are we going to hear about 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:02.760 a wedding or wedding so whatever. And I guess personally, 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.840 what I found what struck me is when I talk 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:08.000 to you guys, I didn't hear a lot of future plans, 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:13.120 and so I guess the The question inside all of 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:18.280 that is when you guys broke up, was it a 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:20.880 surprise to you? Did it catch you off guard? 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:22.320 Like was the rug. 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:26.039 Completely swept out from your feet? Or when she broke up, 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.480 did you say, oh okay, Like I get it. 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:33.200 I saw this coming. Kailan meant so much to me 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:39.120 and still currently does. And it's it's such a I 0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:41.520 get so worried that, like I want to preface this, 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:43.120 like so when people are hearing this, if they think 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:47.000 I'm like skating or surfacing, I just get so worried 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:51.040 about the repercussions of what I say. Yeah, and I 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:56.800 care still so much for her, and it's it's it's 0:01:56.840 --> 0:01:59.840 it's really really hard for me to have these conversations. 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:05.960 I'll do my best. I to answer the question though 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:11.000 I felt like it was it was on the horizon. 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:39.560 Mhmm yeah, mhm h ah h, what was it? 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:50.080 You haven't even asked a good question. It was a 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:54.240 tough time, so to go back to it, it's tough. 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.359 I'm also bad at that. I've worked on it. I've 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:01.359 always been some and I hate showing my emotion. I 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:03.280 hated I hate it. I hate it. I remember at 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:06.320 the bachelor people would be like I remember someone was like, 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:09.560 he's trying to force tears. I'm like, no, I'm trying 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.079 to hide every tear and then when the camera's off, 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:15.000 I'm gonna go nuts and cry. I'm trying to get better. 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:16.160 I felt like that at my wedding. 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:18.720 I read I read my vowels fifty times thinking I 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:20.079 won't break down, and of course I did. 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:23.480 I cried like a baby, But yeah, I am, I am. No. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.960 It's very sensitive these days, especially this topic. 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:30.840 But you loved her so much and so clearly the 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:33.440 emotions still run deep and naturally. 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:35.360 Yeah. 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:42.400 Fuck so yeah, I saw give me a second, we 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:44.520 need another tequila shot me, I'll. 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:49.720 Get it together here. I saw, I saw it. Yeah. 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:51.760 It was the way I would say is there was 0:03:51.800 --> 0:04:04.960 a lot of deteriorating complacency. Fuck. So that's my answer. 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:11.680 Oh yeah, yeah, so yeah I did. But no, there 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:18.680 was definitely no sweeping. Uh, there was no shock. I 0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:22.360 you know, I think in general my stance is, uh, 0:04:23.560 --> 0:04:33.000 all right, it's I just didn't want to believe it, right, 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:38.960 And I think that's something that I need to That's 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:42.360 a takeaway for me is that if you if you 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:46.760 run from problems or hide or burrier, don't address them. 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:49.960 You know, eventually it's gonna catch up and you can't. 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.720 You got to step into hard times. 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:58.919 The proverbial kick the can down the road, and you 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:01.640 either do the work now or you do twice as 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:05.400 much work later, or I guess feel the repercussions of it. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:10.560 God. 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:21.600 Yeah, okay, I'm good. Well, bring me back and get 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.040 that out. Name it to drain. It is what I'm told. 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.400 So I'm good now. It was just a hard time. 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:29.760 So to go back to it's tough. 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:34.599 Oh yeah, I mean, you know, I if I go 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:37.360 back and talk about, you know, my own divorce or 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:40.600 own whatever, you it's like those post things are still. 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.239 Yeah, it's still at the surface. I think I've also 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:49.520 put so much work in trying to understand emotions because 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:53.760 for so long I've buried emotions and now they're like 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:58.279 get it. It's like a floodgate in my life. Yeah, 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:03.200 because for so long I just asked it. Yeah. So yeah, 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.920 it's six months. I've cried my entire life. But that's 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:09.080 with all things. Like I finally I feel good about 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.279 it too, because I could finally name emotions and understand. 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:15.920 But I'm just I'm still so mad at showcasing. I'm like, 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:17.359 I'm so embarrassed right now. 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:21.760 You know, It's funny, you know when it comes with age. 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.560 Obviously you're still a young man, and I'm not elderly. 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:31.840 I'm just older. Having my daughter did it for me. 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:34.160 That's what changed me. When I went through my divorce 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:36.960 or whatever, I became a hard shell and protected myself 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.040 because it was so public and I was I could 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:42.719 kind of wrap it around protecting my kids and my family, 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.240 and so I just was like, I won't. I don't 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.159 have time for this. I don't have time to show 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.680 the emotion. To deal with my own emotions. Not a 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:53.120 healthy thing to do, right again, being a Texas boy, 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:54.599 you know, what do we do with our feelings? 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:56.599 We swallow on their town inside. 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.320 But he was once I had my daughter, you know, 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:02.480 and Tay was born, and like I became a it's 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:05.560 just an emotional ball back. Yeah, if she sings or 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:07.560 if what you know, if she's like you know, and 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:09.400 I'm like that with my son now too. You just 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:13.600 opened up this whole can of emotions. And it's good. 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:15.160 It's it's it's a good thing. 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:17.680 It is a good thing because you gotta, I mean, 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:21.120 to grieve it and to understand it. You got to 0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:22.720 feel it. You got to be community to be able 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.000 to communicate it. And for so long, like two years ago, 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.680 I couldn't even name what an emotion was. I go 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:30.040 to therapy now every like three weeks, Thank God for 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:33.680 my therapist. And the way you grieve is understanding it, 0:07:33.720 --> 0:07:36.720 is feeling it is demonstrating it. We've all been there. 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:41.160 It's just I my whole life. The way I've protect 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:44.720 and secured myself is to not show it. So it's 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.560 tough to show it. But I'm working on it and 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.320 we're getting there. It's a Buffalo guy, It's a Buffalo. 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.240 Yeah. It's like just like Texas. You know, it's like 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:54.320 we swallow it. You know. Buffalo is the same way. 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:56.160 There's not a lot of guys in Buffalo. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.880 Grind out, you know, just make it work. It's all good. 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.560 But that's no way to live. And when you understand 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.880 your emotions, I've learned it gives you the ability to grow. 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:08.160 It's just that I probably don't step into conversations about 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.880 that time often maybe it's even too soon to do it. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:15.600 But yeah, it was. It was just a really really 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:16.559 tough time. 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:21.160 It is important that the takeaway from this too, and 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:25.120 Laura and I have talked about this. It's you don't 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:28.880 want to be little somebody who's lost a significant other, 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:30.360 and you. 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:31.200 Don't want to compare. 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:38.400 But a big breakup, a divorce, it's a loss. You 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:42.160 are mourning the loss of something, and it's it's different 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.080 than losing a significant other. It's it's different than Lauren 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:48.040 losing her dad. But at the same time, you are 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:52.400 still losing something and you're losing someone. And what's also 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:57.600 difficult about that is that someone still exists. They didn't 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:00.240 go away, they did not die. You're going to see 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:02.679 them at Chris and Lauren's wedding. You're gonna have to 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:04.680 see them on social media. It's like, you know, a 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:08.800 lot of these breakups, there's not a clean breakup anymore, 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:10.480 and that's kind of a sign of our times that 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.120 we live in. But that makes it, you know, doubly 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:14.000 difficult for you. 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.200 Yeah, and well, I think the thing is is that 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:22.840 no in breakups, no one, especially this one, no one wins. 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:27.880 This isn't about for me at least, there's like there's 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:31.200 only two people lost here and lost in a hard way. 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:38.000 Four and a half years is a long time in 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:45.520 really important years of our lives. And so there's no 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:49.000 no one's winning. You're both losing and growing, and so 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:54.600 that's that's what's tough. But it's the reality of the situation. Yeah, 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.280 it's like you know, there's there's a lot of time 0:09:57.360 --> 0:10:00.439 and energy and pain for both of it, both both 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:02.040 of us. Right, I can't say I can only speak 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.720 from my experience, but what I've observed. And so it's 0:10:05.800 --> 0:10:09.040 just four and a half years of you know, it's 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.960 family at that point, Yeah, their family becomes your family 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:18.520 and vice versa. And so it's so easy from the 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:23.560 outside to critique or pick teams or anything like that. 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:25.400 And I think at the end of the day, for 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.160 anyone that's gone through a breakup, and I'm assuming most 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:31.600 people listening to this have based on the severity of it, 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.720 no one loses. It's just how how can you learn 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:36.440 from it and how can you grow? And how can 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.680 you do more thumb pointing as opposed to finger pointing, 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:43.160 because it's so easy. The easiest thing you can do 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:46.480 is start finger pointing, the easiest thing, and at the 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:49.400 end of the day, if you continue to fingerpoint. The 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.160 only thing that's going to happen is history is going 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:56.960 to continue to repeat itself. So through the time, I'm 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.839 trying my best to just look in the mirror and 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:00.800 see what I could have done by And I think 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:02.800 some of the things I already alluded to with the 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:05.800 kicking the can and yeah, maybe not addressing some things 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.959 towards step. You know, the idea of like, okay, that 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:13.079 the pain of stepping into something, it would be easier 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.280 to just assume that time will heal. And I'm talking 0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:19.439 What I'm talking about too, is immaterial things, right, I'm 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:23.000 talking about everybody who can relate to like little bumps 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:28.640 or discussions or disagreements. I'm not talking about anything material. 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:31.520 But when you let when like little baby paper cuts 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:36.200 don't go treated, they become infections. And if the infections 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:43.040 don't get treated, you know, the end is inevitable. 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.160 I feel like so, as you said, I never really 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:49.319 asked you the hard question, and all this has come out, 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:51.280 So now I'm going to ask you the hard question. 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:57.600 Oh boy, I have a breathe in for a second. 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.280 All right, fire away, buddy, Glad, my podcast is Max. 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:15.000 I'm coming for you. 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:22.000 Zip aal beer. All right, do you still love Caitlin? 0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:32.000 Mm hmmm, Chris Harrison, I have a ton of love 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:32.520 for Kaitlin. 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:33.000 Yeah. 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:40.280 Yeah, I have a ton of love for Caitlin. When 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:42.200 I think what's so hard is when we broke up, 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:52.680 I was still so in love with her. Oh God, 0:12:55.920 --> 0:13:01.400 but I have an a love for her. She's such 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:07.320 as she's very special, unique as everyone knows person, and 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:08.880 so yeah I have I have a ton of love 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:09.439 for Caitlin. 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:11.679 Yeah. 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:15.480 So clearly you're still dealing with a lot of emotions. 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:18.160 I think it's a lot of grieving, right, It's. Yeah. 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.360 What I've noticed is that I bounced through. If people 0:13:21.440 --> 0:13:25.760 you know, at any capacity you grieve, I've bounced well, 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.800 I've gone through the grieving thinking at times I'm like, okay, 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.720 I have acceptance, can fully move on. But then you 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:38.840 bounce back. I think that's I think that's often the 0:13:38.840 --> 0:13:41.160 case for a lot of people. I think it's hard 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:47.880 to admit when you're bouncing back between clearing and everything, 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:52.960 all the different stages. So it is that ever flowing river, right, 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:53.880 It's it ever flowing river. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:57.400 Sometimes you're cruising, Sometimes it's there's the rapids, and sometimes 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:00.160 you're falling over a waterfall and it's crazy and out 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.400 of control, and then sometimes you feel great and it's 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.240 just one little thing. And I've learned so much more 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:08.360 about grieving because of Lauren and talking to her about 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.800 her dad and yeah, and her dealing with that, and 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.719 in her working at the experience camps with so many 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:17.040 kids who have lost somebody. 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.120 And again it's like you. 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.160 Don't want to equate one or the other. I'm not comparing, 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:27.040 but it is an emotional loss and you are grieving 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.040 something and you're still going through it, and it doesn't mean 0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:31.440 tomorrow I won't see you and we'll have fun and 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:35.920 play golf or whatever, but it's still gonna there's sometimes 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.280 it's going to, you know, kick you in the gut totally, 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:38.960 and that's okay. 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:42.080 Yeah, And I think for like for a low, like 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.520 even I don't know, you're right exactly, And it's I 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:47.160 think when you care and you love for someone and 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:50.240 then it doesn't work out and you still have you know, 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:54.080 you still care. So I mean that was I remembered 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:57.160 my therapist. There was like month three or four, I 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.280 was like, when the hell am I going to walk 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.680 into this off and We're not going to talk about 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.760 my grieving journey, Like how is this? Like are we 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:05.480 done with this? Like can we move on to the 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:07.920 next topic? Like I don't know my childhood or something? 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.600 What are we going to talk about the bills never 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:12.320 winning a Super Bowl? Like when can we talk about 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:12.760 the important? 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.880 Shit? Gives me something? And I think she's just said 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.440 such a good point. She's like, listen, it was fine. 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:22.880 It was from twenty nine to thirty four, and this 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:25.800 was a lifetime commitment that didn't you know, of course, 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.320 obviously engagements out of marriage, but you know, you have 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:29.960 an expectation of what your future will be and that 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.720 takes a huge detour and reset and stepping into this 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.840 and really understanding it and feeling the emotion of it. 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:38.800 It's it's beautiful, and it's what's going to get you 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:40.320 to what you do need. It's going to get you 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:43.520 to the partner that will make you the best version 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:47.040 of yourself. And so well, even now, I'm just like, 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:50.160 I feel so embarrassed that I like I felt that 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:53.680 way of emotions. It is it's real, I feel it. 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:55.760 But you're right, like tomorrow, like we'll go have a 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.400 drink after this and we'll be good. But sometimes when 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.240 I step into it, my brain just go like the 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.320 photographic part goes back to some of those dark times. 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.280 And it's sad because it's the feeling like I just 0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:11.360 I get this like wave of it's I think what 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:13.960 people are like, well, what's creating the emotion or why 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:16.200 is he feeling that way? It's just it's a wave 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:18.880 of just like sadness for her and me and us, 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:21.880 Like there's a bit of loneliness. You're just like shit, 0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:28.800 and so it brings you back to that and so yeah, 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:33.280 that's me talking through my feelings. Chris. It's a uh, 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:34.440 I don't know what I just said. 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.520 Well, no, it's a there's there's moments of what could 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:42.360 have been, and often, if you're being honest though, what 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:47.080 could have been moments aren't real. Like you're you're manifesting 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:50.720 things now of how great it was and how great 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:54.800 it would be, and that world honestly probably never existed. 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:57.200 You know, you start overlooking a lot of the big 0:16:57.320 --> 0:16:59.640 hurdles and a lot of the big issues and things 0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:03.760 things start to like you remember good things. Yeah, it's 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:07.080 what often makes us get back together with a with 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:10.280 an X. Yeah, and you you remember the good things 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:12.000 and you get back in You get back in bed, 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:15.159 the proverbial bed, and you're like, oh crap, now I 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.200 remember why we broke up in the first well. 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:20.080 For sure, which is what I personally, I think, especially 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.199 like going through therapy and working through this, like the 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:25.240 idea of jumping back into a relationship in general is 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.919 I think extremely unhealthy because there's a reason as to 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.200 why you broke up, right, So exploring that within yourself 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:35.320 and growing from that takes material time for you would 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.399 even wander those thoughts if you're doing it in a 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:40.399 healthy way. Right, Yeah, that's not the band aid you 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:43.040 want to put on the wound. No, no, no, no, 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:44.680 you got to fix the band name. You got to 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:48.080 stitch that up right, everything I didn't do before. So 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:50.920 are you are you dating? Have you gone on a date? 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:56.679 I mean, nothing serious enough to talk about on the podcast? Yeah, 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:58.640 you know, I know you're not seeing I know you're 0:17:58.680 --> 0:17:59.920 not seeing anyople in there. 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:01.159 I knew you're not seeing anybody. 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.679 I would know about that. You know, you'll get the 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.520 first in trouble the next the next episode, I do. 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.879 We'll be I said, we'll do it right here, Chris, 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.399 I knew you weren't seeing about significant I know you 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.920 don't have a girlfriend by any means, which, by the way, good, 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.359 you're not ready for that. But I just didn't know, like, 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:20.280 have you gone on any dates and even ventured into 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:21.119 that territory. 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:24.640 I'm open to I'm open to going on dates. I'm 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.679 open to going on a date. I also know I 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:31.240 have I'm like, you know, I gotta I'm just like, 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.120 there's a lot going on in between the ears right now, 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:38.480 right of course, and if I went on a date 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:42.000 or had that conversation, I would be very open with that. 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:45.359 But I just, by the way, healthy and good to 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.600 warn the warning back at you. 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.560 Just working through it all. So yeah, I'm open to. 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:54.760 Going I had those conversations when I when I when 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:57.680 you set me up with Chris. I know, yeah, there's 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.560 there's hey, there's you know, there was somehow else moms 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:03.720 we saw, you know here in the neighborhood at lunch today. 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:06.040 They would be more than happy to give a Tarctic 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:06.320 a run. 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:09.800 Anyone you got anybody that can hand out tissues over 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:13.240 I do think I'll say this too, Yeah, I don't. 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.880 I think part of the reason I'm emotional, right now. 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.120 Is also because I have a state of comfort with you, right, 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:21.919 Like I think ninety nine percent of podcasts i'd go on, 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.800 i'd have my walle up. But I do think it's 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:27.320 again a testament to our friendship that I do feel 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:29.960 like I'm in a space where my guard is let 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:33.199 down to be like that. So, yeah, I gave you 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:34.399 a warning. It's the beginning of this. 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:37.200 You've never sat in the chair across me before. I'm 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:41.080 not a big fan of this, the hot seat. Who 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:42.480 do you think invented the hot seats? 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:44.280 You are the hot set? 0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:47.720 No, it was I remember vividly when I when I 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:50.680 first got divorced, I'd been married, what seventeen years or something, 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:54.040 eighteen years, And so yeah, you don't just come out 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.320 of that two kids, divorced and all that after eighteen 0:19:56.359 --> 0:19:59.280 years and just jump back into it and be normal. 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:01.560 I was not hell at all. And so I would, 0:20:01.680 --> 0:20:03.879 you know, literally tell people I would go on, you know, 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.879 because the weird part is, you know you're not ready 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:08.800 to settle down, you know you're not ready to be 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:11.480 serious with anybody, but at the same time you kind 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:12.639 of need to start dating. 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:16.119 Yeah, And it's and especially for a one out of life, 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:16.920 Like what's weird? 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:17.800 Is it's not fair? 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:18.280 You know. 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:20.240 It's like, hey, I'm going to go out a date 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:20.640 with you. 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.679 I am not prepared to. 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:26.199 Be anything serious because I'm a mess, and it's like, 0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:30.159 so what what am I doing to this person? So 0:20:30.280 --> 0:20:32.600 I felt a little bit guilty in that I'm kind 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:35.439 of going through the paces because I needed it. So 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:37.840 I felt like, how do I use that guilt? I 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:40.920 tried to be honest of like, hey, I'm a wreck 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:43.640 right now, like my life is a tornado. I'm trying 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.000 to figure out how to make sure my kids are 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:48.560 okay and get back to school and you know all 0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:50.200 these things I said, you know, I don't have the 0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:51.879 bandwidth to do this. 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:55.399 Also, yeah, I get that that I think connects to 0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:58.000 a lot of my life right now. Again, going back 0:20:58.040 --> 0:21:00.840 to my therapist, she's a beauty. I'd tell her something 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:02.760 and she said something that resonated with me and will 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:05.480 forever resonate with me, and maybe it resonates to anybody 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:09.280 listening to this is I find She's like, Jason, you're 0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:11.480 doing a lot of bobbing and weaving right now, Like 0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:14.040 you're a boxer. You're bobbing and weaving life and you're 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:19.040 overthinking in this you're not in the ring anymore. Oh wow, right, 0:21:19.119 --> 0:21:22.239 like you're you're not in the ring anymore. Yeah, you know, 0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:25.600 there was a decision made and then you had to 0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:29.720 leave the ring. And because of that, you gotta stop 0:21:29.720 --> 0:21:32.240 bobbing and weaving. You're like the spectator that's been acting 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:35.560 like they're in there and they're not fights over man. Yeah, 0:21:35.760 --> 0:21:38.960 like wow. And the idea is like like live, like 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.359 stop overthinking and walking in actually just go live, Like 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:44.400 it's time for you to left the gloves. Put it down, 0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:46.480 like put the weight down, put it all down. 0:21:46.560 --> 0:21:51.399 And that's phenomenal advice I had, very I love the 0:21:51.400 --> 0:21:54.440 way the analogy of that is perfect. 0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:56.240 Exactly like an example, I'll give you a perfect example, Bobby, 0:21:56.240 --> 0:22:00.800 and even bobbing and weaving would say, know to coming 0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:02.600 to talk to you when I'm in Austin, that's bobbing 0:22:02.600 --> 0:22:05.320 and weaving. But if like for me, it's like no, 0:22:05.440 --> 0:22:07.359 I'll talk to Chris. I want to talk to Chris. Sure, 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.280 I have to like follow what my gut and heart's saying. 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:10.880 Just do it. 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:15.280 Stop trying to please everybody and everything. Do what you 0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:16.520 need to do. Do your thing. 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:19.240 Well, you bring up a good point, and your therapist 0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:21.239