1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Speaker 1: This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to the home office in Austin, Texas. Chris Harrison 3 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: my continued conversation with Jason Tartik, who's here in Austin 4 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,319 Speaker 1: with me, Buddy, I really appreciate you being here. I 5 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,119 Speaker 1: don't know if you're still appreciative of being here. 6 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 2: You know what, this seat is pretty hot, but you 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 2: know what, Chris, it's always good to have you across 8 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 2: the way. Thanks for having me back. 9 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: Before we left, obviously, things had gotten a little emotional. 10 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,839 Speaker 1: We were talking about Caitlin, talking about the breakup and 11 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,280 Speaker 1: everything you guys had gone through. So you know, we're 12 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,639 Speaker 1: just gonna jump right back into it. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 2: Let's do it. The breakup itself. 14 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: When I heard from you guys, it I'm trying to 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: think it didn't. It didn't surprise me only in that 16 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: I kept you know, I think a lot of us 17 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: kept waiting, Okay, when are we going to hear about 18 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: a wedding or wedding so whatever. And I guess personally, 19 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,840 Speaker 1: what I found what struck me is when I talk 20 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: to you guys, I didn't hear a lot of future plans, 21 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: and so I guess the The question inside all of 22 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: that is when you guys broke up, was it a 23 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: surprise to you? Did it catch you off guard? 24 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 2: Like was the rug. 25 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 1: Completely swept out from your feet? Or when she broke up, 26 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: did you say, oh okay, Like I get it. 27 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 2: I saw this coming. Kailan meant so much to me 28 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 2: and still currently does. And it's it's such a I 29 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 2: get so worried that, like I want to preface this, 30 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 2: like so when people are hearing this, if they think 31 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 2: I'm like skating or surfacing, I just get so worried 32 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 2: about the repercussions of what I say. Yeah, and I 33 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 2: care still so much for her, and it's it's it's 34 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 2: it's really really hard for me to have these conversations. 35 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 2: I'll do my best. I to answer the question though 36 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 2: I felt like it was it was on the horizon. 37 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 3: Mhmm yeah, mhm h ah h, what was it? 38 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 2: You haven't even asked a good question. It was a 39 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 2: tough time, so to go back to it, it's tough. 40 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,359 Speaker 2: I'm also bad at that. I've worked on it. I've 41 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 2: always been some and I hate showing my emotion. I 42 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 2: hated I hate it. I hate it. I remember at 43 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 2: the bachelor people would be like I remember someone was like, 44 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 2: he's trying to force tears. I'm like, no, I'm trying 45 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 2: to hide every tear and then when the camera's off, 46 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go nuts and cry. I'm trying to get better. 47 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 2: I felt like that at my wedding. 48 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: I read I read my vowels fifty times thinking I 49 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,079 Speaker 1: won't break down, and of course I did. 50 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 2: I cried like a baby, But yeah, I am, I am. No. 51 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 2: It's very sensitive these days, especially this topic. 52 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: But you loved her so much and so clearly the 53 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: emotions still run deep and naturally. 54 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 55 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: Fuck so yeah, I saw give me a second, we 56 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: need another tequila shot me, I'll. 57 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 2: Get it together here. I saw, I saw it. Yeah. 58 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 2: It was the way I would say is there was 59 00:03:51,800 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 2: a lot of deteriorating complacency. Fuck. So that's my answer. 60 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, so yeah I did. But no, there 61 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 2: was definitely no sweeping. Uh, there was no shock. I 62 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 2: you know, I think in general my stance is, uh, 63 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 2: all right, it's I just didn't want to believe it, right, 64 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 2: And I think that's something that I need to That's 65 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 2: a takeaway for me is that if you if you 66 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 2: run from problems or hide or burrier, don't address them. 67 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: You know, eventually it's gonna catch up and you can't. 68 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,720 Speaker 2: You got to step into hard times. 69 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,919 Speaker 1: The proverbial kick the can down the road, and you 70 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: either do the work now or you do twice as 71 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: much work later, or I guess feel the repercussions of it. 72 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 3: God. 73 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm good. Well, bring me back and get 74 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 2: that out. Name it to drain. It is what I'm told. 75 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 2: So I'm good now. It was just a hard time. 76 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 2: So to go back to it's tough. 77 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean, you know, I if I go 78 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: back and talk about, you know, my own divorce or 79 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: own whatever, you it's like those post things are still. 80 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's still at the surface. I think I've also 81 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 2: put so much work in trying to understand emotions because 82 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 2: for so long I've buried emotions and now they're like 83 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 2: get it. It's like a floodgate in my life. Yeah, 84 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 2: because for so long I just asked it. Yeah. So yeah, 85 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 2: it's six months. I've cried my entire life. But that's 86 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 2: with all things. Like I finally I feel good about 87 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 2: it too, because I could finally name emotions and understand. 88 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 2: But I'm just I'm still so mad at showcasing. I'm like, 89 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 2: I'm so embarrassed right now. 90 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: You know, It's funny, you know when it comes with age. 91 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: Obviously you're still a young man, and I'm not elderly. 92 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:31,840 Speaker 1: I'm just older. Having my daughter did it for me. 93 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: That's what changed me. When I went through my divorce 94 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: or whatever, I became a hard shell and protected myself 95 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: because it was so public and I was I could 96 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: kind of wrap it around protecting my kids and my family, 97 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: and so I just was like, I won't. I don't 98 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,159 Speaker 1: have time for this. I don't have time to show 99 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: the emotion. To deal with my own emotions. Not a 100 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: healthy thing to do, right again, being a Texas boy, 101 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 1: you know, what do we do with our feelings? 102 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 2: We swallow on their town inside. 103 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: But he was once I had my daughter, you know, 104 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 1: and Tay was born, and like I became a it's 105 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: just an emotional ball back. Yeah, if she sings or 106 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: if what you know, if she's like you know, and 107 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 1: I'm like that with my son now too. You just 108 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: opened up this whole can of emotions. And it's good. 109 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: It's it's it's a good thing. 110 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 2: It is a good thing because you gotta, I mean, 111 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 2: to grieve it and to understand it. You got to 112 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 2: feel it. You got to be community to be able 113 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 2: to communicate it. And for so long, like two years ago, 114 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 2: I couldn't even name what an emotion was. I go 115 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 2: to therapy now every like three weeks, Thank God for 116 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 2: my therapist. And the way you grieve is understanding it, 117 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 2: is feeling it is demonstrating it. We've all been there. 118 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: It's just I my whole life. The way I've protect 119 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 2: and secured myself is to not show it. So it's 120 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: tough to show it. But I'm working on it and 121 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 2: we're getting there. It's a Buffalo guy, It's a Buffalo. 122 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like just like Texas. You know, it's like 123 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: we swallow it. You know. Buffalo is the same way. 124 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: There's not a lot of guys in Buffalo. 125 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 2: Grind out, you know, just make it work. It's all good. 126 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 2: But that's no way to live. And when you understand 127 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 2: your emotions, I've learned it gives you the ability to grow. 128 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 2: It's just that I probably don't step into conversations about 129 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 2: that time often maybe it's even too soon to do it. 130 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 2: But yeah, it was. It was just a really really 131 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:16,559 Speaker 2: tough time. 132 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: It is important that the takeaway from this too, and 133 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: Laura and I have talked about this. It's you don't 134 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: want to be little somebody who's lost a significant other, 135 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: and you. 136 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 2: Don't want to compare. 137 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: But a big breakup, a divorce, it's a loss. You 138 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: are mourning the loss of something, and it's it's different 139 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: than losing a significant other. It's it's different than Lauren 140 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: losing her dad. But at the same time, you are 141 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: still losing something and you're losing someone. And what's also 142 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 1: difficult about that is that someone still exists. They didn't 143 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: go away, they did not die. You're going to see 144 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: them at Chris and Lauren's wedding. You're gonna have to 145 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: see them on social media. It's like, you know, a 146 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: lot of these breakups, there's not a clean breakup anymore, 147 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: and that's kind of a sign of our times that 148 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: we live in. But that makes it, you know, doubly 149 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: difficult for you. 150 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and well, I think the thing is is that 151 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 2: no in breakups, no one, especially this one, no one wins. 152 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 2: This isn't about for me at least, there's like there's 153 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 2: only two people lost here and lost in a hard way. 154 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 2: Four and a half years is a long time in 155 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 2: really important years of our lives. And so there's no 156 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 2: no one's winning. You're both losing and growing, and so 157 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: that's that's what's tough. But it's the reality of the situation. Yeah, 158 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 2: it's like you know, there's there's a lot of time 159 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 2: and energy and pain for both of it, both both 160 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 2: of us. Right, I can't say I can only speak 161 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 2: from my experience, but what I've observed. And so it's 162 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,040 Speaker 2: just four and a half years of you know, it's 163 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 2: family at that point, Yeah, their family becomes your family 164 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 2: and vice versa. And so it's so easy from the 165 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 2: outside to critique or pick teams or anything like that. 166 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 2: And I think at the end of the day, for 167 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 2: anyone that's gone through a breakup, and I'm assuming most 168 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 2: people listening to this have based on the severity of it, 169 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 2: no one loses. It's just how how can you learn 170 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,440 Speaker 2: from it and how can you grow? And how can 171 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 2: you do more thumb pointing as opposed to finger pointing, 172 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 2: because it's so easy. The easiest thing you can do 173 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 2: is start finger pointing, the easiest thing, and at the 174 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 2: end of the day, if you continue to fingerpoint. The 175 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 2: only thing that's going to happen is history is going 176 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,960 Speaker 2: to continue to repeat itself. So through the time, I'm 177 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,839 Speaker 2: trying my best to just look in the mirror and 178 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 2: see what I could have done by And I think 179 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: some of the things I already alluded to with the 180 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 2: kicking the can and yeah, maybe not addressing some things 181 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,959 Speaker 2: towards step. You know, the idea of like, okay, that 182 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:13,079 Speaker 2: the pain of stepping into something, it would be easier 183 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 2: to just assume that time will heal. And I'm talking 184 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,439 Speaker 2: What I'm talking about too, is immaterial things, right, I'm 185 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 2: talking about everybody who can relate to like little bumps 186 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 2: or discussions or disagreements. I'm not talking about anything material. 187 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 2: But when you let when like little baby paper cuts 188 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 2: don't go treated, they become infections. And if the infections 189 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 2: don't get treated, you know, the end is inevitable. 190 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 1: I feel like so, as you said, I never really 191 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,319 Speaker 1: asked you the hard question, and all this has come out, 192 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: So now I'm going to ask you the hard question. 193 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 2: Oh boy, I have a breathe in for a second. 194 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 2: All right, fire away, buddy, Glad, my podcast is Max. 195 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 2: I'm coming for you. 196 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 1: Zip aal beer. All right, do you still love Caitlin? 197 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 2: Mm hmmm, Chris Harrison, I have a ton of love 198 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 2: for Kaitlin. 199 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 200 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a ton of love for Caitlin. When 201 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 2: I think what's so hard is when we broke up, 202 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 2: I was still so in love with her. Oh God, 203 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 2: but I have an a love for her. She's such 204 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 2: as she's very special, unique as everyone knows person, and 205 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 2: so yeah I have I have a ton of love 206 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,439 Speaker 2: for Caitlin. 207 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 3: Yeah. 208 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: So clearly you're still dealing with a lot of emotions. 209 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 2: I think it's a lot of grieving, right, It's. Yeah. 210 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 2: What I've noticed is that I bounced through. If people 211 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 2: you know, at any capacity you grieve, I've bounced well, 212 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 2: I've gone through the grieving thinking at times I'm like, okay, 213 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 2: I have acceptance, can fully move on. But then you 214 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 2: bounce back. I think that's I think that's often the 215 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 2: case for a lot of people. I think it's hard 216 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 2: to admit when you're bouncing back between clearing and everything, 217 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 2: all the different stages. So it is that ever flowing river, right, 218 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 2: It's it ever flowing river. 219 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: Sometimes you're cruising, Sometimes it's there's the rapids, and sometimes 220 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: you're falling over a waterfall and it's crazy and out 221 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: of control, and then sometimes you feel great and it's 222 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: just one little thing. And I've learned so much more 223 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: about grieving because of Lauren and talking to her about 224 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 1: her dad and yeah, and her dealing with that, and 225 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:15,719 Speaker 1: in her working at the experience camps with so many 226 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: kids who have lost somebody. 227 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 2: And again it's like you. 228 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: Don't want to equate one or the other. I'm not comparing, 229 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: but it is an emotional loss and you are grieving 230 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: something and you're still going through it, and it doesn't mean 231 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: tomorrow I won't see you and we'll have fun and 232 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: play golf or whatever, but it's still gonna there's sometimes 233 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 1: it's going to, you know, kick you in the gut totally, 234 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: and that's okay. 235 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think for like for a low, like 236 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 2: even I don't know, you're right exactly, And it's I 237 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 2: think when you care and you love for someone and 238 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 2: then it doesn't work out and you still have you know, 239 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 2: you still care. So I mean that was I remembered 240 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 2: my therapist. There was like month three or four, I 241 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 2: was like, when the hell am I going to walk 242 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 2: into this off and We're not going to talk about 243 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 2: my grieving journey, Like how is this? Like are we 244 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 2: done with this? Like can we move on to the 245 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 2: next topic? Like I don't know my childhood or something? 246 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 1: What are we going to talk about the bills never 247 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: winning a Super Bowl? Like when can we talk about 248 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: the important? 249 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 2: Shit? Gives me something? And I think she's just said 250 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 2: such a good point. She's like, listen, it was fine. 251 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 2: It was from twenty nine to thirty four, and this 252 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 2: was a lifetime commitment that didn't you know, of course, 253 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,320 Speaker 2: obviously engagements out of marriage, but you know, you have 254 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 2: an expectation of what your future will be and that 255 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 2: takes a huge detour and reset and stepping into this 256 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 2: and really understanding it and feeling the emotion of it. 257 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 2: It's it's beautiful, and it's what's going to get you 258 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 2: to what you do need. It's going to get you 259 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: to the partner that will make you the best version 260 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 2: of yourself. And so well, even now, I'm just like, 261 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 2: I feel so embarrassed that I like I felt that 262 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 2: way of emotions. It is it's real, I feel it. 263 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,760 Speaker 2: But you're right, like tomorrow, like we'll go have a 264 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 2: drink after this and we'll be good. But sometimes when 265 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,240 Speaker 2: I step into it, my brain just go like the 266 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 2: photographic part goes back to some of those dark times. 267 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 2: And it's sad because it's the feeling like I just 268 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 2: I get this like wave of it's I think what 269 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 2: people are like, well, what's creating the emotion or why 270 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 2: is he feeling that way? It's just it's a wave 271 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 2: of just like sadness for her and me and us, 272 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 2: Like there's a bit of loneliness. You're just like shit, 273 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 2: and so it brings you back to that and so yeah, 274 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 2: that's me talking through my feelings. Chris. It's a uh, 275 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 2: I don't know what I just said. 276 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: Well, no, it's a there's there's moments of what could 277 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: have been, and often, if you're being honest though, what 278 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: could have been moments aren't real. Like you're you're manifesting 279 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: things now of how great it was and how great 280 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: it would be, and that world honestly probably never existed. 281 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: You know, you start overlooking a lot of the big 282 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: hurdles and a lot of the big issues and things 283 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: things start to like you remember good things. Yeah, it's 284 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: what often makes us get back together with a with 285 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: an X. Yeah, and you you remember the good things 286 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: and you get back in You get back in bed, 287 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 1: the proverbial bed, and you're like, oh crap, now I 288 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 1: remember why we broke up in the first well. 289 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 2: For sure, which is what I personally, I think, especially 290 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:22,199 Speaker 2: like going through therapy and working through this, like the 291 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 2: idea of jumping back into a relationship in general is 292 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,919 Speaker 2: I think extremely unhealthy because there's a reason as to 293 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,200 Speaker 2: why you broke up, right, So exploring that within yourself 294 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 2: and growing from that takes material time for you would 295 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 2: even wander those thoughts if you're doing it in a 296 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,399 Speaker 2: healthy way. Right, Yeah, that's not the band aid you 297 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 2: want to put on the wound. No, no, no, no, 298 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,680 Speaker 2: you got to fix the band name. You got to 299 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:48,080 Speaker 2: stitch that up right, everything I didn't do before. So 300 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,920 Speaker 2: are you are you dating? Have you gone on a date? 301 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,679 Speaker 2: I mean, nothing serious enough to talk about on the podcast? Yeah, 302 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 2: you know, I know you're not seeing I know you're 303 00:17:58,680 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 2: not seeing anyople in there. 304 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: I knew you're not seeing anybody. 305 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,679 Speaker 2: I would know about that. You know, you'll get the 306 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 2: first in trouble the next the next episode, I do. 307 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,879 Speaker 1: We'll be I said, we'll do it right here, Chris, 308 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 1: I knew you weren't seeing about significant I know you 309 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,920 Speaker 1: don't have a girlfriend by any means, which, by the way, good, 310 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: you're not ready for that. But I just didn't know, like, 311 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: have you gone on any dates and even ventured into 312 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 1: that territory. 313 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,640 Speaker 2: I'm open to I'm open to going on dates. I'm 314 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,679 Speaker 2: open to going on a date. I also know I 315 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 2: have I'm like, you know, I gotta I'm just like, 316 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 2: there's a lot going on in between the ears right now, 317 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 2: right of course, and if I went on a date 318 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: or had that conversation, I would be very open with that. 319 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: But I just, by the way, healthy and good to 320 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: warn the warning back at you. 321 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 2: Just working through it all. So yeah, I'm open to. 322 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 1: Going I had those conversations when I when I when 323 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,680 Speaker 1: you set me up with Chris. I know, yeah, there's 324 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: there's hey, there's you know, there was somehow else moms 325 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: we saw, you know here in the neighborhood at lunch today. 326 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: They would be more than happy to give a Tarctic 327 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:06,320 Speaker 1: a run. 328 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 2: Anyone you got anybody that can hand out tissues over 329 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 2: I do think I'll say this too, Yeah, I don't. 330 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 2: I think part of the reason I'm emotional, right now. 331 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,120 Speaker 2: Is also because I have a state of comfort with you, right, 332 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 2: Like I think ninety nine percent of podcasts i'd go on, 333 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 2: i'd have my walle up. But I do think it's 334 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 2: again a testament to our friendship that I do feel 335 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 2: like I'm in a space where my guard is let 336 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,199 Speaker 2: down to be like that. So, yeah, I gave you 337 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 2: a warning. It's the beginning of this. 338 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,200 Speaker 1: You've never sat in the chair across me before. I'm 339 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: not a big fan of this, the hot seat. Who 340 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: do you think invented the hot seats? 341 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 2: You are the hot set? 342 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: No, it was I remember vividly when I when I 343 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,680 Speaker 1: first got divorced, I'd been married, what seventeen years or something, 344 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: eighteen years, And so yeah, you don't just come out 345 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,320 Speaker 1: of that two kids, divorced and all that after eighteen 346 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 1: years and just jump back into it and be normal. 347 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: I was not hell at all. And so I would, 348 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,879 Speaker 1: you know, literally tell people I would go on, you know, 349 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,879 Speaker 1: because the weird part is, you know you're not ready 350 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,800 Speaker 1: to settle down, you know you're not ready to be 351 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 1: serious with anybody, but at the same time you kind 352 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 1: of need to start dating. 353 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's and especially for a one out of life, 354 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 2: Like what's weird? 355 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: Is it's not fair? 356 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 2: You know. 357 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: It's like, hey, I'm going to go out a date 358 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 1: with you. 359 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,679 Speaker 2: I am not prepared to. 360 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,199 Speaker 1: Be anything serious because I'm a mess, and it's like, 361 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 1: so what what am I doing to this person? So 362 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: I felt a little bit guilty in that I'm kind 363 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,439 Speaker 1: of going through the paces because I needed it. So 364 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: I felt like, how do I use that guilt? I 365 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 1: tried to be honest of like, hey, I'm a wreck 366 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,640 Speaker 1: right now, like my life is a tornado. I'm trying 367 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 1: to figure out how to make sure my kids are 368 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: okay and get back to school and you know all 369 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,200 Speaker 1: these things I said, you know, I don't have the 370 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,879 Speaker 1: bandwidth to do this. 371 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,399 Speaker 2: Also, yeah, I get that that I think connects to 372 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 2: a lot of my life right now. Again, going back 373 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 2: to my therapist, she's a beauty. I'd tell her something 374 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,760 Speaker 2: and she said something that resonated with me and will 375 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 2: forever resonate with me, and maybe it resonates to anybody 376 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 2: listening to this is I find She's like, Jason, you're 377 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 2: doing a lot of bobbing and weaving right now, Like 378 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 2: you're a boxer. You're bobbing and weaving life and you're 379 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 2: overthinking in this you're not in the ring anymore. Oh wow, right, 380 00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,239 Speaker 2: like you're you're not in the ring anymore. Yeah, you know, 381 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 2: there was a decision made and then you had to 382 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 2: leave the ring. And because of that, you gotta stop 383 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 2: bobbing and weaving. You're like the spectator that's been acting 384 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: like they're in there and they're not fights over man. Yeah, 385 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 2: like wow. And the idea is like like live, like 386 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,359 Speaker 2: stop overthinking and walking in actually just go live, Like 387 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 2: it's time for you to left the gloves. Put it down, 388 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 2: like put the weight down, put it all down. 389 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 1: And that's phenomenal advice I had, very I love the 390 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,440 Speaker 1: way the analogy of that is perfect. 391 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 2: Exactly like an example, I'll give you a perfect example, Bobby, 392 00:21:56,240 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 2: and even bobbing and weaving would say, know to coming 393 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,600 Speaker 2: to talk to you when I'm in Austin, that's bobbing 394 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,320 Speaker 2: and weaving. But if like for me, it's like no, 395 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 2: I'll talk to Chris. I want to talk to Chris. Sure, 396 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 2: I have to like follow what my gut and heart's saying. 397 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:10,880 Speaker 3: Just do it. 398 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 2: Stop trying to please everybody and everything. Do what you 399 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 2: need to do. Do your thing. 400 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 1: Well, you bring up a good point, and your therapist 401 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,239 Speaker 1: is wise. I like her, might have to have her 402 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 1: on the show. She's a beauty, not to talk about you, 403 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: but to talk about just in general. I love people 404 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: like that in this world that we talk relationships with. 405 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:36,919 Speaker 1: But the added amplification of you know, Jason Smith is 406 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: getting broken up with or divorce or whatever. Then there's 407 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: Jason Tartik and Caitlin Bristow from the batch. You know, 408 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: it's like it's on steroids and you feel like everybody's watching, 409 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: everybody's talking, and that is what also will exacerbate the 410 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: bobbing and weaving, because you feel like you got to 411 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: keep all the balls in the air, right. I felt 412 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,919 Speaker 1: this before when I was going through my divorce. I 413 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 1: felt like I got to keep this going because everybody. 414 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 2: Was talking about it. 415 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,360 Speaker 1: You know, the late night shows were making jokes at 416 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: my expense. I understood it. It was funny, but it's stung. 417 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 2: You know. 418 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 1: It was still, like you said, another paper cut. So 419 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 1: that is something else that will keep you. And I'm 420 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 1: guessing it's something that even your therapist won't quite understand 421 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: because she's never been in that ring that you're in. 422 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 1: It's a big ring and it's loud and it's noisy, 423 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 1: and there's a lot, as you said, read it in 424 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 1: the Bachelor world, and everyone's got podcasts, everyone's talking about it, 425 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 1: and so it feels huge. 426 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,159 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm such a like my whole life, I've 427 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,680 Speaker 2: always been a path of least resistant guy. I've always 428 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 2: been to like make people happy and check the box. 429 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 2: And so I always get so worried that the pursuit 430 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 2: of not self sacrificing and just doing what you need 431 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,240 Speaker 2: to do is going to make people unhappy or create 432 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 2: issues or controversy or things like that, and that's just 433 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,919 Speaker 2: no way to live. Like you have to listen to yourself. 434 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 2: And that's a lot of the stuff I'm doing is 435 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,719 Speaker 2: like kind of like I've talked about this a little bit, 436 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 2: but like you think about your bread and your water 437 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 2: at dinner and your appetizer and your main plate, like 438 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 2: just taking that main plate and like wiping it clean 439 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 2: and like just making it me like what do I need? 440 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 2: How do I need to pursue? What do I need 441 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,120 Speaker 2: to learn about myself? And so easier said than done 442 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 2: based on personality type and stages you're at. But that's 443 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:36,400 Speaker 2: that's kind of my journey. Right now. I see you. 444 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: Doing some also some things I did. You're keeping yourself 445 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: way too busy. Yeah, that's called avoidance, called numbing. 446 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,240 Speaker 2: It's called numbing. I know it. 447 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 1: Hey, man, I've been in you You're like, I'm busy. 448 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: I've been in five cities in four days. I'm like, yeah, dude, 449 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:57,320 Speaker 1: you and be you're avoiding, you're avoiding being whole man. 450 00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 2: But that's fine for now. It's fine, you know, but just. 451 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: When you know, you know, I think just recognizing it, right, yeah, 452 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: so you know when you go home, it's still there. 453 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's still self aware to say, hey, you know 454 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,880 Speaker 2: this right now is a form of numbing, and you're 455 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 2: going here and saying yes to that event or going 456 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 2: to this work trip because you're doing that, and inevitably 457 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 2: that cures nothing. As long as I think you're self 458 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 2: aware to step into the stuff, you gotta step into. 459 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 1: My advice to you, Yeah, that's my advice to everybody 460 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 1: going through a breakup. And again, it's only because I 461 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,239 Speaker 1: tripped over these hurdles. I filled my time in my 462 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,719 Speaker 1: life with very meaningless things. I was going to parties 463 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,919 Speaker 1: and going to events, I was invited to someone, Yeah, we'll. 464 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 2: Fly you to Vegas. 465 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 1: We'll fly you here. 466 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,959 Speaker 2: Sure, And I don't think I ever felt lonelier. Then. 467 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: I'm at these events with people I don't care about, 468 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: with people I don't really know. It's not that they're 469 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,919 Speaker 1: bad people. I just didn't know them, And it was 470 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 1: I had fifty superficial conversations that night. 471 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 2: There's no depth. 472 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,120 Speaker 1: I didn't dive into anybody. I would go to bed 473 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: and go. I couldn't remember one person from tonight. Yeah, 474 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: and I didn't. I didn't make one connection. And so 475 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: one thing I got off that marrygo round and started 476 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 1: doing things that I really wanted to do, which going 477 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,919 Speaker 1: golfing with my friends. You know, buddy, you know, one 478 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 1: of my agents called and said, Hey, we're gonna go 479 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 1: fishing up in Oregon. Just a couple of guys, some whiskey, 480 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 1: some cigars. 481 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 2: I'm like, Yeah, that's what I need. 482 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: So it's not that you can't keep yourself busy. Just 483 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 1: be careful once you break up, how you're keeping yourself busy. 484 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: Is there any nourishment for your soul? 485 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. I think it's I think it's such a 486 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 2: good point. I went on this journey that was like 487 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 2: you know, July and August just like literally sit in tears. 488 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 2: I was. I didn't drink it all, just tried to 489 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 2: like really be there of therapy weekly at this point, 490 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 2: feel it, feel it. And then I went to like 491 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 2: the September October route, which was like just friends and 492 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 2: nose really just like friends and family, friends and family, 493 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 2: friends and family, gonna go see it. And now I'm 494 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 2: in this, like let's just find out, you know, let's 495 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 2: just go here and I'll go to this, Let's go 496 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 2: golf with Sergio and do this and all this, and 497 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 2: now I'm going to hit the I'm like at the point, 498 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 2: now all right, let's peel it back. Let's get back 499 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 2: to kind of that like second stage, the friends the 500 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,480 Speaker 2: family saying no to some stuff because I'm thirty five 501 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,199 Speaker 2: and I hate to there should be no correlation to 502 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 2: age and what your next chapter is. But the reality 503 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 2: is we only have so many years on this earth, 504 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 2: and I want a family. I want to get married, 505 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: I want to have kids, I want all that. And 506 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 2: so the more you numb, the more time ticks, and 507 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,280 Speaker 2: the less progress you make towards like the things that 508 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 2: truly matter in life right like the end of the day. 509 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 2: I mean, you're the host of the Batcher and I'm 510 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 2: sure the conversations and people you've got to meet over 511 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 2: the last twenty years are unbelievable. What the hell does 512 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 2: that mean? Like in the blink of an eye, it's 513 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,280 Speaker 2: gone on death, right, you know what it's there? Yeah? Right, 514 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 2: your two beautiful kids in LZ and your family, that's everything. 515 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,200 Speaker 1: If you if it makes you feel any better, it 516 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,399 Speaker 1: should give you some inspiration about time. I found the 517 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 1: love of my life when I was forty seven. 518 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 2: Fuck, it's amazing, you know. 519 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 1: And as you know, I got married a month ago 520 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: to the love of my life, and my life couldn't 521 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: be better, couldn't have more meaning, couldn't be happier, work, everything. 522 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,679 Speaker 1: And I went through those times of even me and 523 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 1: I was you know, obviously had a little bit of money, 524 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,399 Speaker 1: a little bit of fame, and life was good, and 525 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 1: I was dating and I had no trouble meeting people, 526 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,160 Speaker 1: but I wasn't meeting the one, and I thought, yeah, hey, 527 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: not everybody has it all right, you know, I'm not 528 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 1: gonna maybe I don't get that. And but the patience 529 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 1: of waiting for that person, and then when LZ stepped 530 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 1: into my life, I'm like, oh crap, that's what it 531 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: looks like. Yeah, and you know talk about the light 532 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: bulb going off. So you're good, you got time. 533 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 2: Let me ask you this some point. I'm taking the 534 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 2: host rule for one question. Yeah, what advice then, would 535 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 2: you have for me or for anyone else that's out 536 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 2: there that feels like they might need to rush into 537 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 2: that because of their age? Like, how do you what 538 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 2: do you do to avoid complacency and always pursue like 539 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,440 Speaker 2: the like dream relationship you imagine that you had got 540 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 2: at forty seven. 541 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,280 Speaker 1: I literally just had this conversation with a guy, yes, 542 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: the other day, when he was kind of in this 543 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: similar thing where it's just like frustrated, Right, you get 544 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,960 Speaker 1: frustrated because, like you said, you know, you were together 545 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 1: with Caitlin for five years from thirty to thirty five. 546 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 2: Those are big years. No they're not. They're not. They're 547 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 2: not big years. What's wrong with thirty five to forty? 548 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:28,960 Speaker 2: What's wrong with forty? Trust me? 549 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,160 Speaker 1: Your forties is where your life starts. Yeah, that's when 550 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: it really gets good. That's the best decade. You haven't 551 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: even gotten there. You're still an appetizer. But and that's 552 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: not to diminish or demean but it's just what I 553 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 1: told this person and what I would tell anybody if 554 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:48,160 Speaker 1: you're thirty five, forty five, sixty five, seventy five, is 555 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: be diligent, but be patient. Yeah, don't you know. I 556 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 1: found myself, even in this role, as well versed as 557 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: I was in the world of love and dating, I 558 00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 1: kept trying to shove a square peg in a round 559 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: hole of like I'm gonna make this person fit. I'm 560 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: gonna make this person fit. I mean, let's be honest, 561 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,240 Speaker 1: and I'm intimate enough with your relationship with Caitlin. Y'all 562 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 1: weren't perfect. You weren't right for each other. There's a 563 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,560 Speaker 1: reason you broke up. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, 564 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you don't love her, and she probably still 565 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 1: loves you to a certain degree. 566 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 2: But that wasn't right. 567 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 1: She's not the one, and the sooner you realize that, 568 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 1: and you will, then you're gonna go back and you'll 569 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 1: start looking for someone who is. And when when you 570 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 1: find that, if you're patient and it's not, I don't 571 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: mean sit on your ass, don't work at it because 572 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: it's almost like a job, like you need to go 573 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: put yourself in situations where you're gonna meet people, whether 574 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:46,120 Speaker 1: it's apps, whether it's going to events, going to church, 575 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: going to your synagogue, going to your book club, going 576 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: to you know, you don't have to just go to bars. 577 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,959 Speaker 1: That's not what it's about. Go to wherever where you're 578 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: putting yourself in situations where you're gonna meet like minded 579 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 1: people that you might be attracted to. And then it's 580 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: having the balls to go up and say Hi, have 581 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: the guts to go up and break the ice. I 582 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 1: mean the good news with you, you're the ice breaking, right, 583 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: you are immediately disarming, you have something to talk about 584 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: Bachelor World. 585 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 2: That helps. 586 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: But for those that don't have that immediate icebreaker, be 587 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: the one to go say hello, Like if you've made 588 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: eye contact and she didn't throw up, or if you've 589 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,560 Speaker 1: made eye contact and he didn't run for the door, 590 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: that's the doors open. Yeah, Like too many people go 591 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: home thinking what if, Oh I should. 592 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 2: Have talked to that girl. Yeah, I should have got 593 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 2: up to that guy. Do it? 594 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, break the ice, go have that conversation. What's 595 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 1: the worst thing that's going to happen. Swallow your pride. 596 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, good point. I think that's a really good point. 597 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,080 Speaker 2: And I think the one you said about like in 598 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 2: I think in society in general, we hold these bullshit standards. 599 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 2: I mean it's literally probably the mission of majority of 600 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,480 Speaker 2: what I talk about is like breaking the blueprint of 601 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 2: the way that we're taught to think. And here I 602 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,360 Speaker 2: am saying such critical years, which to me it feels like, 603 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 2: but you're right thirty to thirty five and hopefully we have, 604 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 2: you know, fifty sixty plus. More So, who's defining what 605 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 2: this gap is and the importance of it? Those are 606 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 2: made up beliefs that I've put into my head, and 607 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 2: so I get that. 608 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 1: It's a you know, I always say the elevators really 609 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: meet when a guy turns forty. That's when you know 610 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 1: you're still at your healthiest physical peak. You know, you're 611 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: a handsome dude. It's like, you know, at forty, guys 612 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: kind of always ask themselves this. You just take stock, right, 613 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: you take stock if you're like, Okay, this is my life, 614 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 1: this is where I'm at, you know, career wise, usually 615 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 1: by forty you kind of got it figured out. And 616 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: so we we guys kind of have this come to 617 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 1: Jesus moment around then You're not even close. All right, 618 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 1: there we go up boards and out, Hey, you're on 619 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: the second hole and you spray to one out of bounds. 620 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: You're still going to go play the next sixteen. 621 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 2: Right to sixteen more holes. Go, let's swing away. 622 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: You're not on the first team anymore. Yeah, but I'm 623 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: off that box, but you're. 624 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 2: Definitely we're on the second home. 625 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,640 Speaker 1: Man, I'm on the lf on the back nine. 626 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. My thing too. I just keep telling myself, I'm 627 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 2: a big relationship guy. I just am like g at history. 628 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 2: I have like three people I was in very long 629 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 2: relationships with for like four to five years each of them, 630 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 2: And so I keep telling myself, like, I know that 631 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 2: when I do commit, it's very likely going to be 632 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,920 Speaker 2: a for a significant period of time. So like put 633 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 2: in the work for a myself, and then also put 634 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 2: in the work to make sure whoever, like the next 635 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 2: person is the right person. 636 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 1: I don't know, and I'm not saying you did this 637 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 1: with Caitlin, but for everybody listening, don't be so because 638 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: people like you and I'm kind of like this too, 639 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: where you're so eager to have a relationship, and you're 640 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 1: so you're so devout, you're so convinced that you're gonna 641 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: make this work, that you're so headstrong that you're making 642 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 1: it work for quote unquote the right reasons that it's 643 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 1: actually working. Right, You're not trying to make it work 644 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 1: because you want to be in a relationship, and by 645 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,840 Speaker 1: g I'm going to make this relationship work because that's 646 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: who I am and that's what I stand for. 647 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 2: But is it working? Is it right? 648 00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 1: Make sure it's right before you're making sure it's working, 649 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:09,879 Speaker 1: if that makes sense? 650 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 2: And like, did you. 651 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:17,000 Speaker 1: Want Caitlyn to work out so bad because of Caitlin 652 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,400 Speaker 1: because you really loved her and that love was so great? 653 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 1: Or did you really just want that relationship to work? 654 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean. 655 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 1: And I don't know the answer and don't need it, 656 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,839 Speaker 1: but I'm just it is something to Definitely, I think 657 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:34,440 Speaker 1: we all at said times we're again forcing that square 658 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:34,799 Speaker 1: peg in. 659 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 2: A round hole and you're like, what am I doing? Yeah? 660 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,840 Speaker 2: I think one of the I like, if I'm looking 661 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:44,880 Speaker 2: within Caitlin at her to me, Caitlin at her best 662 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 2: is such a specially unique individual person that no one 663 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 2: will replicate and and and the love I have for 664 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:58,320 Speaker 2: for that person is so significant knowing that it's irreplaceable. 665 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 2: And then I think the reality is just because you 666 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 2: know that's the person that you are so in love with, 667 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,719 Speaker 2: doesn't mean that that's the best person for you, right 668 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,920 Speaker 2: and as a unit. Right. So I think that's a 669 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,200 Speaker 2: big one too to think through. 670 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:21,720 Speaker 1: And people come into your life for reasons and for seasons. Yeah, 671 00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:26,399 Speaker 1: And when you lose somebody, whether it's to death or 672 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,080 Speaker 1: to a breakup, and they go their separate ways, or 673 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,279 Speaker 1: your friend right moves to the other side of the world, 674 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,719 Speaker 1: you just don't see them again and they kind of 675 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,239 Speaker 1: fall out of your life. It doesn't mean that relationship 676 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,879 Speaker 1: wasn't meaningful and impactful to your life. You will take 677 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,319 Speaker 1: things from this that will take you the rest of 678 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: your days. And so, look, she came into your life 679 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: for a reason and a season, and you move on, 680 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,439 Speaker 1: and it's not like it doesn't hurt, and it hurts 681 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 1: your pride a little bit and it sucks, but this 682 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 1: too shall pass. But you're still going to take things 683 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,600 Speaker 1: from that. You'll share a lot of lessons from that 684 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 1: about what you're looking for in the next. 685 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, good and bad. Right. It takes so much good 686 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,120 Speaker 2: and so much the life learn from. I agree with that. 687 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 1: Business wise, are you're good? I know you're crushing it on. 688 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 1: You have Trading Secrets podcasts. We have the new book 689 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 1: Talk Money to Me. Pre sales now go go on Amazon. 690 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,239 Speaker 1: Then the book will drop soon. You can look at 691 00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: my instuck aus. I'll be having it on as soon 692 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,440 Speaker 1: as it drops. You know, I'll be naked in the 693 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: bubble bath reading his book. 694 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,759 Speaker 2: But what else do you have? What else is in 695 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 2: the hopper? Yeah? So, so we have the podcast Trading Secrets, 696 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,680 Speaker 2: which is every day. It's growing at a significant rate. 697 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 2: We have the book that you talked about, and then 698 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 2: had the first book that came out. I do some 699 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 2: consulting for small businesses, so that's been growing at a 700 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,680 Speaker 2: fast rate. I also have an agency, it's called Rewired 701 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 2: Talent Management. And so what I learned at a quick 702 00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,800 Speaker 2: rate is I was able to monetize my social media 703 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:56,000 Speaker 2: pretty fast late right after the show. But I learned 704 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,279 Speaker 2: the nuances of all the forms of marketing to it, 705 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 2: and I would talk openly about it. And that's when 706 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,920 Speaker 2: I started this group called Restart Consulting and So as 707 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 2: a result of that, a lot of people off The 708 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,440 Speaker 2: Bachelor and other reality shows would come to me and say, Hi, 709 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,360 Speaker 2: how are you doing this? And I would consult with 710 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,680 Speaker 2: them and how I was doing it, and then started 711 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:17,279 Speaker 2: a talent management company. So we now have well over 712 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,200 Speaker 2: two hundred people in all different categories that we're doing 713 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 2: deals with our pipeline of deals, and it's all things 714 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,440 Speaker 2: everything from TV appearances to social media collaborations to almost 715 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,920 Speaker 2: all forms of marketing in which age andcs and brands 716 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,760 Speaker 2: are paying talent for some type of execution. It's well 717 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 2: over five million dollars now just in the pipeline and 718 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:42,040 Speaker 2: the business is growing at a rapid a rapid pace, 719 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 2: So that's a big one. And then just like random 720 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 2: stuff there was there's I don't know, there's there's a 721 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:53,279 Speaker 2: couple like random TV media entertainment things that get talked 722 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,560 Speaker 2: about thrown around, or that I have filmed and might 723 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 2: come out we don't know, and stuff like that, So 724 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 2: I don't know. It's it's a crazy but it's all 725 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:05,759 Speaker 2: centered around all this this whole world that that we 726 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 2: currently live in, which is kind of crazy. But the 727 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,480 Speaker 2: agency is the one I get the most excited about 728 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 2: it because. 729 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:12,840 Speaker 1: I know there's a I know a million people that 730 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,720 Speaker 1: you work with because you know a lot of mutual 731 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:15,640 Speaker 1: friends and stuff, and. 732 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 2: You guys kill it for him. Yeah, crush it. Yeah, 733 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,799 Speaker 2: that's been that's been a really it's been exciting. It's 734 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,760 Speaker 2: been great. And it's more of like the long term place. 735 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,239 Speaker 2: So yeah, and then you know small investments, invest into 736 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,160 Speaker 2: different real estate projects, CpG companies, stuff like that. 737 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,479 Speaker 1: So yeah, those are the mailbox money, the mailbox money 738 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: that's a try, and the passive income. I'll let you 739 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,440 Speaker 1: off the hot seat, the seats hot I'll let you go. 740 00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:37,440 Speaker 2: Give me a breather. 741 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,239 Speaker 1: I'll give you a breather. I am going to reciprocate. 742 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,840 Speaker 1: I'll be on Trading Secrets, so go check out Jay's 743 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,240 Speaker 1: podcast Trading Secrets. 744 00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 2: So where we're gonna. 745 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,800 Speaker 1: We'll talk about a lot of stuff, more business stuff 746 00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,520 Speaker 1: and all that, so we will get out of the 747 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: relationship space and give him a break. 748 00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:53,840 Speaker 2: Oh, Chris, you are going right in the hots. 749 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,280 Speaker 1: I'll see you know, I'd love to see your skills, 750 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 1: see see what you've learned. 751 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,919 Speaker 2: Over the years. Oh yeah, we'll be going. I've taken 752 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,240 Speaker 2: a couple of notes out of your book. 753 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 1: Appreciate your friendship. Yeah, you have always been a huge 754 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:10,640 Speaker 1: supporter and always been in my corner. I truly, truly 755 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,279 Speaker 1: am grateful for that, and I'm grateful you sat down 756 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: and had this talk. It was you know you you 757 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,799 Speaker 1: mentioned your kind of disclaimer, and I will give you mine. 758 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: I said from the beginning, Caitlin's a friend of mine, 759 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,680 Speaker 1: and I had trepidation about doing this too, because I 760 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:27,200 Speaker 1: don't want to be seen as taking aside, bagging on 761 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: her his his you know, he said, she said. I 762 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 1: didn't want any of that crap. I just wanted the 763 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: honesty and the emotion, which I got, which I'm appreciative of. 764 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,000 Speaker 1: I didn't want to get in the weeds and the 765 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,600 Speaker 1: dirt and all the you know the stuff. I'll leave 766 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:38,120 Speaker 1: that to Reddit. 767 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know, I appreciate you doing. None of 768 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,839 Speaker 2: that crap matters anyway, None of it matters, and that's 769 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,600 Speaker 2: why I appreciate this conversation. I hope that's you know, 770 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,879 Speaker 2: that's how it the discussion. You know, obviously, when you're 771 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,080 Speaker 2: sitting in here, I'm sitting in a puddle over here. 772 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 2: I'm not really sure how it all came together, but 773 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,480 Speaker 2: I want. It felt like nothing but love and respect. 774 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 2: Well that's the I think the intention behind every question 775 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,040 Speaker 2: you asked and everything I asked was pure and to 776 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 2: create no disrespect for anyone. That's the goal. That's what 777 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,600 Speaker 2: I wanted to come on and do, and I hope 778 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 2: we did it. We did it. 779 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:12,239 Speaker 1: Cheers, come on, got one issues, one last sip before 780 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:12,600 Speaker 1: we go. 781 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,359 Speaker 2: All right, thank you for being for having me. This 782 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,359 Speaker 2: really is the most dramatic podcast ever. 783 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,399 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most 784 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,000 Speaker 1: Dramatic pod ever, and make sure to write us a 785 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,680 Speaker 1: review and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you 786 00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 1: next time.