WEBVTT - Vegetables Don't Exist (with Langston and David) 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:05.720 Pungebob and Patrick. I had to call back because my 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:11.600 last nope, actually this voice spe that. Man, you're not 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:14.360 even starting. We're not even I'm not even going down 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:17.119 this road. That's crazy. No, no, no, nope, nope, nope. 0:00:17.360 --> 0:00:20.680 You a while you came into nasty that that was crazy. 0:00:20.800 --> 0:00:23.720 That sucked that. That's a mean way to speak with 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:28.520 really rude. We still have lives. He's got a bad spirit. 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:30.760 Why would we listen to you. We still control this. 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:36.400 That's a that's that's a I'm gonna be thinking about 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:38.640 that the whole time you're talking. You just fucked my 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:42.640 weekend up because and this is what pisces me off. 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:46.840 I immediately knew who was ye. Why did you even 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:50.280 bring that far? I'm saying, of course you're so mean. 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:52.960 It's so mean. You're just hitting a lot of points. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:54.360 It's not just that you're larger. 0:00:54.720 --> 0:00:55.760 He's working well. 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.800 The guys smart. I give him the SpongeBob is a 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:07.319 little gay. Yeah, it'll get Yeah, it's just everything about 0:01:07.360 --> 0:01:11.760 it's one of em, A grown man. No chartless Patrick shirtless, 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:30.040 that sails. 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:31.679 Racist money. 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:40.000 Stuff. I can't tell me. I used to think about 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:45.920 immature thing, you know, like do you love me? Do 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:46.640 you want me? 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:48.480 Are you gonna call me? 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:56.640 Is this really your real phone number? Welcome to another 0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:59.960 phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast. 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:02.240 That's when we dive deep into the pockets of black 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:03.640 conspiracy theories. 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:06.800 And we finally worked to prove you guessed it nothing, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:11.560 not a goddamn thing. This is not self help. I 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:12.680 know nothing for you. 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:14.680 All I know is I got a leather banded watch 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:15.880 and a driver's license. 0:02:15.919 --> 0:02:19.280 You beat Oh crazy? That was pretty cool. That's the Yeah, 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.200 that was a That was a declaration. Here's what I 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:22.960 will say about the work that we do, and it 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:28.119 isn't I'm sorry. It is important work. It is important work. 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.640 I think. I think the fact that we are so brave, 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:35.600 audacious even to declare how little we're healthy, is the 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:40.240 truest thing that you could do as a podcast host. 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:44.560 It's it's it's definitely not helped us monetarily. No, it's 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:47.440 it's it's financially not serving us as much as I 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:47.840 would like. 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:51.239 We actually should lie to you guys more. Yeah, hey, 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:56.919 get better help. It helped me and Langston, Yeah, like 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.720 we ever slept Mattress A little. 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:04.360 Of that Meil Robins even not her name, Mel Meil. Uh, 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:08.679 what's her name, Meil? Yeah, Mel Robbins, the lady who 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:13.000 is sort of like the craze now of trickery. Yeah, 0:03:13.040 --> 0:03:15.280 we just need some trickery so we can make some money. 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:15.600 Yeah. 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:20.320 She's telling people nonsense with like no backing. Oh yeah yeah, 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:23.480 I saw at signified video about her. Yeah, and everybody's 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:26.360 just going crazy for it because because she puts on 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.400 glasses and talks stern bro. 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.799 That's what we gotta get on. I'm telling you we 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:33.840 I think if you lie for two years, you could 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:34.680 live for life. 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:37.840 That's so true. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:42.160 If you come out, if you come out and lie crazy. 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:46.520 But you gotta keep like you gotta keep your eyes straight. Yeah, 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:48.000 no you can't. You can't. 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:51.600 You can't box with dog two years. You just have 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:55.440 to like lie to the camera. I think you can 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:56.640 get rich enough that you get the. 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.680 You gotta get mad when people say you're lying, Yeah, 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:03.320 how how dare you? You? Don't you? How dare you 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:04.640 kill your daughter? Sir? 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:09.600 I fuck you and your grandpa? Yeah, but I think 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:11.080 if you can get that off, if you could get 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:13.240 that off for real, bag, you could do it. 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:14.000 Do it? 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:16.960 I really, I really need to not be so obsessed 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:19.719 with short term money. That's what I worry about a lot. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:26.240 I think about life in terms of licks. No oh no, 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.120 it can't just be licks out here. Man feels so 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.880 much where I'm just like like where you just like, I. 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:34.080 Can't just be hitting licks. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.720 Yeah, Like I'll just be like, damn, damn, that was 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:39.360 a good one. That shit closed up, all right, I 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:42.039 gotta go, you know what I mean, And then I 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:43.240 gotta go to the other one. 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:45.160 I think some of that, though, is the business we 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.800 work in. Like our entire business is hitting a lick. Yeah, 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:50.880 because I'm not a criminal. I've never been like a 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:55.240 successful criminal. But even if you're a successful comedian, entertainer, 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.839 whatever whatever we're calling ourselves at this point, it's a lick. 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:01.120 All it is is this like, Oh, I hit a 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.719 lick and I got enough money to carry me through 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:07.920 whatever next year, and I got to hit another lick 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:10.240 to be able to carry me another That's what I mean. 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:12.440 That's like how I look at it, and I'm like, Okay, 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:14.760 at some point, Michael Jordan will fall and I'll have 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:17.600 to go do something else, like you just like that's like, 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.960 but I think that you gotta think better than that. 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:23.120 I think there's an elevated thinking. I do think there's 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.800 an elevated thinking. I think this may be makes for 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.360 a nice segue into something I've been thinking about. This 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:30.640 is this and welcome to My Mama told me I'm 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:35.200 Langston and we we are here is just a David 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:38.359 and Langston episode. We just gonna talk some shit and 0:05:38.400 --> 0:05:41.360 listen to some voicemail. Let's go. This is a joke, 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:49.000 Netflix is a joke is happening, and somehow still nobody 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:54.800 wanted to hang out with us. It's the most famous people. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:59.040 We've benefited so little from this festival and the collection 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:02.880 of famous black people that have all descended upon Los Angeles. 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:07.280 We're saying we're on the festival. Absolutely, we just blew 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.560 it completely. Nothing good came of it. 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:13.880 I was just at a barbecue. I saw twelve black people. 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:15.719 I didn't tell any of them to come. 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:20.400 And say, hey, brothers, follow me. I got some microphones 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:24.599 in West Hollywood. I got conversation about Loopiz. I said, 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:30.920 I bring that up to this is something I've been 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:34.800 thinking about that I think is important. I think the 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:41.920 song ninety nine Problems really gave black people a unfair 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:49.120 interpretation of interacting with the police. Expand I think at 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:52.360 that end, when jay Z is giving out all the 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.400 explanations of why he doesn't have to open his trunk 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:59.320 or comply with that officer's demands, it's putting a lot 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:02.359 of niggas who thought that they learned something from that 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:07.520 song in unfortunate circumstances. Oh yeah, you gotta be careful 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:15.360 with what jay Z teaches. Yeah, I think I think 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:19.200 that lesson. That lesson is complicated because you do hear 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:22.320 that song and you're like, yeah, it really gave me confidence. 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:23.960 And yeah, at the police, I was like that the 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:25.640 law says I don't have to open it, And I 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.360 don't know if that's the law. I don't know. 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:30.400 I don't even my glove compartments also never locked. I 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:32.280 don't have a keyp for it. I've never once locked it. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.000 I don't know how. Yeah, and what do you Yeah, 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:38.160 I'm not putting a list of substances in it, and 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.640 I'm certainly and ain't no gun. But but on the 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:44.240 on the flip side, i'd like to. I would love it. 0:07:44.360 --> 0:07:44.520 Man. 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:48.960 I fantasize if I having a car gun dog Okay, 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:50.800 I'm really glad that you're with me on that. 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:54.040 Yeah, it made me feel crazy. You would also, doesn't 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:55.960 it seem cool to have a gun in the bro 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:56.840 when I was a. 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:59.480 Kid, like a like a little I want like a 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.760 little er Yeah, like a thirty eight My papa's best 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.360 friend when I was growing up, my grandfather's best friend 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:06.720 growing up. 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:09.280 I get it, uh, I just you know, it felt 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:11.000 weird just to look you in the eyes while I. 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.080 Said yeah, yeah, and you said popa the way I 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:15.240 assume you said it as a little boy, yep, which 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:15.760 was funny. 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:21.480 I miss him. Yeah, he was good. He was a 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:25.520 good guy. But his best friend was a dude who 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:29.800 kept a gun in his car and everybody knew it. 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:32.800 And it was my favorite thing about him. Yeah, that 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:34.600 was that used to be a guy you could be. 0:08:34.920 --> 0:08:36.800 It was a guy and he was like kind of 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:39.560 a little bit of like more of a shit talker. Yeah, 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:41.200 and you knew it because he had that gun in 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.680 the car. Yeah, and you're like, damn, Mort, don't mess 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:47.360 with him. Mort. Yeah, this is a good old Jewish. 0:08:48.080 --> 0:08:49.840 That's a good old and he was a war vet, 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:52.439 so he's killed people before. He wants to kill again, 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:55.439 he's been waiting on it. Man, he's had to wait 0:08:55.480 --> 0:09:00.199 fifty years. We could get car guns now, I don't think, well, yeah, yeah, 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:04.040 we can technically, but I thought about it. California is 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.160 a tough place to be a car gun guy. I 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:10.640 think it's not. But we just go to Vegacy get 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:13.840 the guns. No, I'm not worried about the oh, the 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.160 instruments as much as all worried about the legality and 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:21.720 sort of like the the There are so many laws 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:27.400 around guns in California that even having the weapon requires 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.760 a type of explanation that scares me. 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:32.040 Yeah, honestly, I just tried to sign up for a 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:35.600 shooting class in general and then the cops emailed me, 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.360 and I don't like that at all. 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:38.800 That's who runs the shooting class. 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.240 No, I know that now because I was like, oh, 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:43.080 it be funny and you and then now the cops 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:43.920 are emailing. 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:45.400 Me and I don't even want to do this. It 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:46.200 really sucks. 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:50.359 I am from the West. I am from a bullshit 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:52.560 state where I do still think in my head that 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:55.360 you could just like drive out somewhere and shoot it. 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:57.360 And I know that that's not really. 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:02.240 You can, but you're close to here, but you can't 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:07.079 with training. You if you want to go shoot a 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:09.000 gun tomorrow, I know a place where we can go 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.720 shoot guns. How did you start with that? But I'm 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:14.120 saying that like I thought you wanted to like go 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.240 through an actual course. Oh, I'd like to do that 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:19.680 as well. But I want to go all right, we're good. Oh, 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:24.120 I know, let's let's get Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to, 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.720 we just will do it row. Yeah, that's what I like. 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:28.360 We ain't got a train. Yeah, we don't even have 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:30.280 to have film it. I shot a fifty cow with 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:33.320 no training. Bro, I just had a dude tell me 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:34.599 what to do, and I say, can I put my 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:36.800 cheek on it? He said yeah? And then I said, 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:40.120 all right, I want to nestle up. And then and 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.680 then I shot it. I said, get this monster away 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:46.360 from me. That's a scary size gun. That's a scary 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:50.920 size Gunther was seven feet long. Can I tell you 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:54.760 another fantasy I've had besides a car gun? Please? 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.320 I want to drive a car with no shirt on. 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:05.040 Why'd you do that? I can't read it? No, I 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:07.400 can't read it, and I'm scared. I'm excited about it. 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:09.120 I just I was driving around, I was like, man, 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:13.480 it would be cool. You know what, Okay, I will be honest. 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.000 I first thought naked, and then I was like, that's 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:20.200 too much, that's insane. I literally, I'm not making this up. 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:22.040 I literally the other day, and this is part of 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:23.200 why my reaction was. 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.439 My reaction is the other day I saw a dude 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:30.560 in his car shirtless but couldn't tell if he was naked, 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:32.920 and that's you don't want to do that to people around. 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:37.199 And part of it is he's driving like a Hyundai 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:40.920 and it ain't. It ain't an open roof. It's not 0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:43.800 like he didn't have the windows. Now, he's just in 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:47.520 there with his shirt off free. It's not wind blowing 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:51.480 on his chest. It's just a man in privacy, which 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:53.920 then makes it feel like nudity. I think you need 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:59.200 some I think windows. So in my head, windows down, 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:04.079 sunglasses on, that's nice. You got some roof I got them. 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:07.160 It doesn't open, but I got the whole glass. Oh 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.800 it's all glass. Yeah, yeah, I understood. Damn. I think 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:12.920 it would still be cool. I think so. I think 0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:15.440 I think the way you should really treat yourself is 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:20.280 go on vacation, get yourself a convertible, pop that shirt off, 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:23.400 pop them sunglasses on, and do it right. Maybe for 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.439 my honeymoon. We're going to Dahi. That's nice. Yeah, black 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.800 sand Yeah, right on the wrong side of the street. 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:30.200 And is it wrong side of the street there, I 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:32.600 don't know. I ain't never been. Yeah, you can go 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.560 to the It's not even crazy to go to I 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:41.000 believe you. Yeah, but yeah, treat yourself. I don't think 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:44.000 you want to be driving to record with me. I 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:46.199 was gonna do list. I was gonna do it. Back 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.120 from the gym was my first thought. I was like, 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:52.120 because that's like a mile two miles, yeah, And then like, 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.439 because I don't want to develop a habit either. I 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:56.760 like back from the gym though, because I will say 0:12:56.800 --> 0:12:59.080 that getting back in the car after a bit a 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:02.440 gym session is least favorite part of it sucks. You 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.720 stink and you're sweaty and you are cold on your 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.200 back and that's uncomfortable. 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:10.040 And I'm so weird about the gym to where it's like, bro, 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.560 I bring so many shirts to the gym, but then 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:15.720 I'd be bringing another shirt just I don't shower there, 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.920 so I bring another shirt just to wear out because 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.040 the shirt I was wearing was sweaty. But then I'm 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:22.959 getting back into the car, you know what I mean. 0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:25.040 It feels like too. It would be so much easier 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:26.079 if I was just a shirt off dry. 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.320 You're doing better than me. I'd just be getting in 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:32.200 there sweaty and making my cars think for a few hours. Really, Yeah, 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:34.640 I don't think it's a good plan. No. I worry 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:38.200 that the leather is gonna soak up my my, my brother. 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:42.560 That's where you fucked up because I got no leather. Okay, okay, okay, 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.600 all right, it's fuzzy. Yeah that's good. That's good. That's 0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:50.520 that's the benefit of claw. Yeah, yeah, you get it stinky, 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:51.320 you don't give a fuck. 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.680 Yeah, man, I even really wanting to act up in 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:55.760 the car now. I feel like because I got I've 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:59.120 gotten comfortable. Now I'm like whipping it and now I'm 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:00.000 like I want to do crazy. 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:05.160 Yeah. I do think modern luxuries are trapp in some ways. Yeah, 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:08.440 Like leather is more a prison than it is like, uh, 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.480 it's a sexy vibe. It's sexy in there, but but 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:16.040 after a while it's just upkeep and I got that 0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:18.839 white leather or like that beige leather. Yeah. 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.520 So I'm like, the kids get in the back and 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.360 I'm like, I'm like staring at him, trying. 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:27.440 Hey, don't open that. No, don't. We're not doing no 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.160 crumbly snacks. Why does it say that on the what's 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:34.360 it saying on the ceiling? Now? Yeah, you know what 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:34.720 I mean. 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:37.160 So I'm like, and that's what I never had to 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:41.240 worry about that. I even honestly, why did you bring 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.760 uses the car? I'm like, hey, there's red bulcan in there. 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:53.960 Take it easy, big girl. I'm just you know, it's 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.360 just weird because I feel like you clean out your 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:59.680 car after you drinking it. Yeah, why'd you leave your 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.440 shit my car? Yeah? Yeah, And I'm oh, man, i 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:08.000 was a hope. Oh you went to sprouts. Oh you're 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:12.560 being passive aggress You'll get there, man, I've been. I've been. 0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:14.960 I've been going to sprouts a lot. But you'll get 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:19.080 full aggressive soon. No, I'll take It'll take some years 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:23.360 before you reach a plane where you go like, oh, 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:24.840 I'm just gonna say it. I'm not. 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.720 And I'm interested in that because when we hang out 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:31.120 with couples who've been married longer, they're mean to each 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.240 other in front of people in a way that we 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.440 will only do behind closed door, Like married couples would 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:40.120 just be like, oh yeah, because Langston can't. 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:45.400 Read, yeah you know, yeah yeah, and you're you're smart 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:48.760 to point out an actual insecurity I have. Well that's 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:53.080 the way I play it. You play that well, that 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:59.160 is a real thing that does come up. Man. If 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.120 I couldn't read, I don't think I would. I would 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:04.120 probably not get laid for a while to try to 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:04.520 fix that. 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:05.920 Yeah. 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:07.840 I mean, I think there's only two ways to play it. 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:12.160 I think you either really focus and try to make 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:16.080 the best of it Fantasia Marino style. Uh and shout 0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:21.080 out to Fantasia. You you were confronted with with some violent, 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:25.600 nasty talk regarding your illiteracy, and you said, nay, I'm 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:29.280 gonna make a difference. I appreciate that. I really respect 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:31.280 that you went out there and you did the work. 0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:34.800 You did the learning. Congratulations, Fantasia. Some people can't even 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:38.560 learn and swim. You learned to read. You fucking those 0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:41.680 were just squigglies before you started. Do you think you 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:42.040 would have? 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:51.480 It was looking at squigglyes like what the fuck? And 0:16:51.480 --> 0:16:53.800 then they stopped being squiggly, get this ship out of 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:59.200 my face. And then you said, oh it's the Bible. 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:03.920 Oh okay, that means Halapano. 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:12.840 Well, turns out I like Mexican food, because that would 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:14.000 be the hardest thing ordering. 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:18.840 This is a really funny story my grandfather, who I 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:22.160 didn't know. This is a different ground. This isn't Papa. 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:27.320 I don't miss this nigga at all. Damn. I didn't know. 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:32.440 He wasn't a good man. I don't know point being. 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:37.199 One of the few sort of like warm stories my 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.560 mother ever told about him was one time he took 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.600 my grandmother out to like a fancy dinner. This was 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.600 like him, like he had some money and he was 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:50.240 he was an alcoholic. He wasn't a good guy. But 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:54.760 like he's doing he's doing it right tonight. He's treating 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.880 her to a nice dinner. They never go anywhere, they 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.359 never eat anywhere. This is a big deal. And he 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:03.480 takes her out and it's it's a restaurant in Greek 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:07.639 Town in Detroit. They sit down and he's looking at 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:11.560 the menu. He can't read. He's he doesn't know how 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:15.760 to read at this point, and I assume he never did. Yeah, 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:19.080 you don't. I don't think he like like sixty was 0:18:19.119 --> 0:18:22.000 like I got it. Lock in. I mean, after a while, 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.600 it's like, what do I want to read? I'm I'm 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:29.000 not doing it. I get pussy. I know how to 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:38.720 read some lips, but he can't read. He takes her 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:41.600 to dinner. They hand him a menu. He's never ordered 0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:44.159 at a restaurant where you sit down and have a menu. 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.920 Whoa he took He didn't even dry raid. Don't go out, bro, 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:51.080 this is the what a different time? This is the 0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:55.640 sixties seventies. They don't get he don't. He don't go nowhere. 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:58.399 And when he does eat outside of his house, he 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:02.280 eats trucks. He eats at at a restaurant where you 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:05.160 just point to a number and go give me one 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:07.920 of those or you know what they got you already 0:19:08.000 --> 0:19:10.119 know what you like over here? Yeah, And so he 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:12.480 sits down at this restaurant. They give him the menu. 0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:15.160 They're sitting there, and then the waiter comes back. He goes, sir, 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:18.240 what would you like? And he said, uh, let me 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:27.720 get a dinner. Just give me a dinner. I know 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:30.760 he's a bad guy, right, I know that he went 0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:33.480 through it in his life that's the most embarrassing shit 0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:37.199 I ever heard of my life. And then his his offspring. 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:40.000 Just that's the story they tell about the warmest they have. 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:45.000 That was his night. That was his night. Yeah, look 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:48.119 at you laughing. That was his night. Yeah. But they 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:51.879 I bet you they got him at dinner. I I 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:54.680 bet you they went. They put their their heads together 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:57.399 and they figured out what a dinner means to him. Damn, 0:19:57.520 --> 0:19:59.360 just give me a dinner, he said, Let me get 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:02.399 a dinner. I had a buddy whose grandpa couldn't read, 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:04.679 and he said his grandpa would always order cheeseburgers everywhere 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.600 they went. Smart man, Yeah, because it was just like 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:10.359 they got it. Yeah, they probably got it. Even fancy 0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:12.439 restaurants got one of those. He also said, when he 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:16.160 was little, though, as grandpa used to read him the paper. Fuck, 0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:22.560 He's like, and you ain't gonna believe this. 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:26.240 Dinosaurs are back, which is funny because it's like the 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:29.200 one person who knows you doesn't know you can't read. 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:32.919 Yeah, let me tell you what's going on. It's like, listen, 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:35.600 I may be an idiot, but I'm smarter than him. 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:37.760 And that's really the best reason I say to have 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:40.520 kids I think about that. Sometimes I just don't. I 0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:42.040 want to be like smarter in the house. 0:20:42.119 --> 0:20:44.520 Make people you're smarter than Yeah, my wife is so 0:20:44.600 --> 0:20:47.720 much smarter than me. Brother, it's embarrassing. My wife is 0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:48.280 smarter than me. 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:51.840 And the intangibles too, like not just like she knows stuff, 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:53.280 but just like intuitive. 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:56.400 She can figure things out that I can't figure out. 0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:59.160 There'll be stuff that I've been like marinating on all 0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:01.600 day that i want to talk to her about, and 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:03.800 then I'll serve up my side of it and sure 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:06.400 immediately swatted out the air in a way that makes 0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:10.440 me feel crazy. Yeah, I go like, okay, well then 0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:13.879 then I'm a fucking idiot. You also, yeah, it almost 0:21:13.880 --> 0:21:16.040 makes you not want to share everything now. I don't 0:21:16.080 --> 0:21:17.680 want to share it because I'm stupid. 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:19.720 Yeah, sometimes I want to win on my own, just 0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:21.640 to tell her that I didn't need you to. 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:23.800 By the way I solved the problem today, you don't 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:26.240 need to know what it was. Don't worry about it. 0:21:27.800 --> 0:21:29.120 There's none of your business, bitch. 0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:35.320 It was a blue job. We got blue jobs. Just 0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:42.800 telling me, oh yeah, dog, pup, that's right job, your dog. 0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:47.640 As soon as I walked in the house, your dog 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:49.520