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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat and I am

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Speaker 1: the host. If you are new here, welcome quick reminder

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Speaker 1: that I like to give at the top of every

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Speaker 1: episode that is, although I'm a therapist, and although this

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Speaker 1: podcast is called You Need Therapy, this is not a

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Speaker 1: replacement for actual therapy or a substitute for any mental

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Speaker 1: health service. All right, So I have an announcement today,

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Speaker 1: and it is that we are going to start a

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Speaker 1: new segment on couch Talks. And if you are new

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Speaker 1: and you don't know what couch Talks is, it is

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Speaker 1: the episode that comes out every Wednesday where I generally

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Speaker 1: will answer a question that a listener sends into me

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Speaker 1: and you can send that to Catherine at You Need

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Speaker 1: Therapy podcast dot com. Well, once a month. What I

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Speaker 1: have decided to do is at a special segment call

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Speaker 1: Bagel Stories. And if you listen to the podcast from

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Speaker 1: last week when I talked about crying over assessment Bagel

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Speaker 1: and then you know what I'm talking about. But what

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Speaker 1: I found was that episode ended up being one of

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Speaker 1: the episodes that I got the most feedback from people

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Speaker 1: just relating to and feeling less alone in And so

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Speaker 1: what I want to do, because I think it's important,

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Speaker 1: is I want to create a community where we are

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Speaker 1: sharing stories where we maybe had a moment where we overreacted,

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Speaker 1: or we acted outside of our value system or our

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Speaker 1: norm or any of that, where we could not regulate

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Speaker 1: our emotions the way that we normally can. I want

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Speaker 1: us to share those stories so we can realize that

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Speaker 1: it's actually a normal thing to do, and it humanizes

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Speaker 1: us and at the same time, those stories lead us

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Speaker 1: to learning more about ourselves. And so I want to

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Speaker 1: hear your bagel moments. I want to hear the stories

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Speaker 1: where something happens and then in the end it actually

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Speaker 1: leads you to learning something about you, your partner, a friend,

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Speaker 1: any kind of relationships. So bagel stories it is going

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Speaker 1: to be once a month hopefully, and I will continue

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Speaker 1: to share my bagel stories with you as well. But

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Speaker 1: it's nice to hear from the people out there listening

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Speaker 1: and know that, just like couch talks always is, I

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Speaker 1: keep those anonymous so you don't have to worry about

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Speaker 1: anybody knowing who's bagel story it is. Although this is

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Speaker 1: all in the name of releasing shame. So I don't

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Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with anybody from having a bagel moment,

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Speaker 1: and hopefully we can all get to that place as

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Speaker 1: well through sharing these stories. Okay, So I was listening

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Speaker 1: to the latest burn A Brown podcast and she started off, well, actually,

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Speaker 1: she started off announcing that it was the end of

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Speaker 1: her podcast, which I'm unsure if she meant totally her

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Speaker 1: podcast or just her podcast on Spotify, because it's just

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Speaker 1: solely on Spotify. She didn't go into that, but she

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Speaker 1: said at the beginning, and then eventually she started talking

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Speaker 1: about this thing called the assumption of positive intent. And

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Speaker 1: if you're unfamiliar with what that is, it is basically

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Speaker 1: what it says, and it's more of a workplace value

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Speaker 1: system idea that I believe was posture to help foster

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Speaker 1: better culture in the workplace, um where you assume positive

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Speaker 1: intent before you think somebody is you know, out to

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Speaker 1: get you or doing something you know on purpose to

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Speaker 1: make you upset, angry, et cetera. And as I heard that,

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Speaker 1: it reminded me of something that I used to say

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Speaker 1: way more than I say now, which is that people

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Speaker 1: generally are doing the best that they can sometimes though

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Speaker 1: we need more than someone's best, and this tends to

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Speaker 1: come up a lot when working with clients who have

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Speaker 1: childhood trauma and don't want to demonize their parents, but

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Speaker 1: need to acknowledge that their needs weren't met as a

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Speaker 1: kid to move past something in their life. And one

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Speaker 1: of the reasons that this is so important is that

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Speaker 1: when we can acknowledge that something was wrong but the

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Speaker 1: intentions were not bad, we get to rewrite certain scripts

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Speaker 1: we have lived our whole lives by and we get

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Speaker 1: to change the lens that we have been seeing the

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Speaker 1: world through. If my needs weren't met and that is

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Speaker 1: because my parents don't care about me, then you're starting

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Speaker 1: your experience of the world with a pretty shitty lens,

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Speaker 1: one that may see you as not good enough, or

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Speaker 1: less than or not worthy. And if my needs were met,

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Speaker 1: but I can't acknowledge that, and I ignore the fact

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Speaker 1: that I ever had needs, then you're setting yourself up

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Speaker 1: to ignore your needs and then destroy a positive sense

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Speaker 1: of self. If I don't have needs, then like, who

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Speaker 1: am I? All that Acknowledging this also helps us entire

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Speaker 1: ourselves from insecure attachments that the lack of this awareness

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Speaker 1: comes with, and that's a lot of times what I

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Speaker 1: do in therapy when this comes up, and when we

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Speaker 1: create more secure attachments, were able to actually create healthier relationships,

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Speaker 1: were able to set boundaries, and we are actually able

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Speaker 1: to experience our needs being met out. A little caveat

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Speaker 1: here that I feel is necessary to say is that

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Speaker 1: when it comes to abuse or neglect or anything like that,

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Speaker 1: you can't just shout this phrase to somebody and expect

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Speaker 1: them just to accept it and receive it. Well, that

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Speaker 1: can be very damaging and it can be really invalidating.

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Speaker 1: So please know that there is a spectrum of how

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Speaker 1: this work that I'm talking about, and I'm as I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about, I'm talking about it in a nutshell. There's

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Speaker 1: a spectrum of how it's done and how beliefs are shifted.

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Speaker 1: It's not something we just throw at people now. Bern

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Speaker 1: I mentioned that which I thought was very interesting that

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Speaker 1: people who are actually able to assume positive intent, who

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Speaker 1: are able to actually assume that people are doing their best,

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Speaker 1: all have something in common, and that thing is the

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Speaker 1: ability to set boundaries. And a prerequisite to the ability

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Speaker 1: to set boundaries is believing that someone is worthy of

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Speaker 1: doing so, and then those boundaries actually lead to how

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Speaker 1: we end up being treated through how we allow other

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Speaker 1: people to treat us. And when I can set boundaries

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Speaker 1: because I know my worth when someone acts in a

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Speaker 1: way that doesn't sit well with me, I also have

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Speaker 1: the ability to assume that positive intent to believe the

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Speaker 1: best in someone. The behavior of someone else is not,

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Speaker 1: at that point directly tied to my worthiness or my value. Inherently,

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Speaker 1: it is tied to that person's own self. Their behavior

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Speaker 1: becomes their behavior versus a reflection of my value, which

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Speaker 1: brings me to something that shows up all of the time,

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Speaker 1: and that is people demonizing others because of their possible

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Speaker 1: poor behavior when they refuse to set boundaries. That might

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Speaker 1: be confusing. So we're going to talk about that. Are

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Speaker 1: you somebody who or do you know somebody who, over

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Speaker 1: and over and over again finds themselves being taken advantage of.

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Speaker 1: They ask themselves frequently why people don't respect them and

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Speaker 1: why it feels like a lot of the people around

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Speaker 1: them are just doing the bare minimum. Well, what I'm

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Speaker 1: here to do is gently burst the bubble that a

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Speaker 1: lot of people feel very comfortable sitting inside. When it

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Speaker 1: comes to this and the answer to these questions why

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Speaker 1: people do this? The answer is usually not because everyone

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Speaker 1: in the world sucks. It's not because all men suck.

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Speaker 1: It's not because people overall are out to get you.

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Speaker 1: For the most part, sometimes men do suck, and sometimes

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Speaker 1: people might be able to get you. But if this

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Speaker 1: is a pattern in your life, then it probably has

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Speaker 1: less to do with other people and way more to

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Speaker 1: do with how you show up with others and how

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Speaker 1: you treat yourself. We our own live how to Treat

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Speaker 1: Me manuals for the world. We are the direction, we

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Speaker 1: are the guide. We show people how we want to

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Speaker 1: be treated and how to do that well. And to

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Speaker 1: help you visualize what I mean, I'm going to share

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Speaker 1: a couple examples. I don't know what this came to me,

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Speaker 1: but I was thinking about how I treat different people differently. Um.

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Speaker 1: One thing stuck out immediately, and it was the different

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Speaker 1: professors in my undergrad program. So there was this one professor.

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Speaker 1: She was the capstone teacher. She taught like the capstone

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Speaker 1: class um and I think she might have been hit.

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Speaker 1: She might have been head of the department. She was

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Speaker 1: very intimidating, she was very scary, but she also was

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Speaker 1: very kind to me personally. That was my experience of her.

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Speaker 1: She was very serious, very professional, and thus in her class,

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Speaker 1: the students were very serious and very professional. The only

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Speaker 1: time we went to her office was during office hours.

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Speaker 1: I would never just pop in, And when I would

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Speaker 1: send her emails, I would double check them like six

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Speaker 1: times to make sure they were correct. I signed them correctly,

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Speaker 1: I did everything right. I would never think of using

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Speaker 1: my phone in her class. I wouldn't eat in her class,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be late to her class, none of that. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: there's this other professor in my department, and he was

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Speaker 1: like everybody's favorite teacher. He was not mine, but he

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Speaker 1: was a lot of people's favorite. His classes where people

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Speaker 1: stay classes, and he was often on exam day or

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Speaker 1: test day or presentation day greeted by students with Sonic blasts,

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Speaker 1: which shout out Sonic Blasts, one of the best treats

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Speaker 1: out there. I would email him like I would text

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Speaker 1: a friend. And having your phone on your desk and

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Speaker 1: using it and showing up late to class was a

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Speaker 1: very normal thing to do. Most people did that. Now,

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Speaker 1: while my inherent good student qualities would show up in

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Speaker 1: both of those classes, like I didn't go late to

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Speaker 1: either of those classes because that's just who I was.

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Speaker 1: I did show up in some ways differently based on

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Speaker 1: how those two professors showed us how they wanted their

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Speaker 1: classes to be treated. And now this is not because

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Speaker 1: I'm a chameleon or because I don't have a sense

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Speaker 1: of self. Like I said, I would show up to

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Speaker 1: both of those classes on time, and my assignments were

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Speaker 1: always turned in on time and they were done well.

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Speaker 1: I put effort into all of them. But because as

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Speaker 1: both people model different boundaries, I attuned to those boundaries

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Speaker 1: differently in those classes. So I never texted in the

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Speaker 1: cap stone class. I never had my phone out. I

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Speaker 1: wonder if sometimes I love my phone in my room

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Speaker 1: because I was afraid it would even go off in

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Speaker 1: that class and how bad that would be. But I

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Speaker 1: always had my phone on my desk in this other class,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sure I texted throughout the class, and like

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Speaker 1: I said, the emails I sent were very different. So

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Speaker 1: if my second professor was wondering why do people always

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Speaker 1: show up on time to your class but not mine,

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Speaker 1: an easy answer would be like, oh, because you probably

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Speaker 1: show up late often. You left when people come in late.

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Speaker 1: You don't lock the door when the class starts, and

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Speaker 1: so they're your boundaries look different. You're modeling how we

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Speaker 1: should show up to your class. Also, a metaphor that

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Speaker 1: came to me this week and I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: that's that's a good metaphor and that makes sense as

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Speaker 1: I was talking about this kind of thing with somebody

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Speaker 1: was you know how when you go to somebody's house

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Speaker 1: and you notice that there's a basket for shoes at

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Speaker 1: the front door, and then you might see them put

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Speaker 1: their drink on a coaster as you're like sitting down

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Speaker 1: and hanging out. And then there are those people's houses

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Speaker 1: when you walk in and they're like spraught on the

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Speaker 1: couch and maybe they're like a cat or their dog

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Speaker 1: or whatever pet they have. Their turtle Gerbils is on

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Speaker 1: the couch with them. And when you sit down on

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Speaker 1: the couch, you look at the coffee table and there's

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Speaker 1: like rings all over it. From the obvious not using

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Speaker 1: of coasters, Well, are you more likely to take your

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Speaker 1: shoes off at the door and use a coaster at

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Speaker 1: the first house or the second house? Probably the first house.

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Speaker 1: And if you're saying the second house, then you're lying

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Speaker 1: now again who you are. You might be somebody who

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Speaker 1: always has to use a coaster. That might be an

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Speaker 1: inherent part of you. But if you're not one of

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Speaker 1: those people, you're probably going to do it at the

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Speaker 1: first house and you're not going to do the second

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Speaker 1: house because the second house is saying, hey, I don't care,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to do this. In the first house

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Speaker 1: is saying, this is really important to me. People model

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Speaker 1: how they want their things to be treated. Humans are

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Speaker 1: not different than coffee tables in this scenario that I'm

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Speaker 1: giving you now, we do this modeling on a spectrum

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Speaker 1: of how we think we deserve to be treated and

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Speaker 1: through the lens of what we think we can get.

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Speaker 1: And you know that quote that says people accept the

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Speaker 1: level of love that they think they deserve. I think

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Speaker 1: it makes more sense to go a step farther and

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Speaker 1: say people accept the love that they think they can get.

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Speaker 1: That feels more direct and true. So if you want

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Speaker 1: a guy to communicate with you consistently, but every six

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Speaker 1: months when he reaches out, you have no issue hanging

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Speaker 1: out the first time he suggests it. Well, if that's

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Speaker 1: what you think you can get from him, you're going

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Speaker 1: to take it. And in turn, what do you think

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Speaker 1: you're going to continue to get You're modeling to him

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Speaker 1: what you want slash require, slash even need. And so

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Speaker 1: it's hard to see the good in people when we're

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Speaker 1: constantly being hurt without understanding that we are setting ourselves

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Speaker 1: up to be hurt. Right, it's hard to see the

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Speaker 1: good in people when I'm constantly being hurt. Let's just

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Speaker 1: use example of guys. Of these guys who just you know,

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Speaker 1: text me randomly and aren't consistent and this and that,

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Speaker 1: when I don't see that I'm actually giving them information

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Speaker 1: that tells them, hey, this is okay that you do this.

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Speaker 1: And I think men don't have respect, but maybe he

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Speaker 1: just doesn't know how you want to be treated. And

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to him to text you consistently, he might.

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Speaker 1: I mean he might not, but he might. If we

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Speaker 1: want to be treated with respect, we have to model

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Speaker 1: what respect looks like for us. Even good people get lazy,

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Speaker 1: and if there is a way to get our needs

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Speaker 1: met easier, we're probably going to take that route. Right.

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Speaker 1: It's not always that people are not respecting you, that

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Speaker 1: people don't care about you, or people don't want to

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Speaker 1: put effort into their relationship with you. It might be

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Speaker 1: that the person who you think is disrespecting you has

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Speaker 1: no idea that you feel that way. I hear pretty

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Speaker 1: often stories about partners who never help with a laundry

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Speaker 1: or cleaning or healthhold tasks like that, and there's usually

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Speaker 1: this essence of resentment that boils down to not feeling

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Speaker 1: cared for or feeling taken advantage of. And one of

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Speaker 1: the most simple questions that I ask in those situations is, well,

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Speaker 1: have you ever asked them to do these things? Usually

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Speaker 1: I get some form of no or not consistently, and

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Speaker 1: then I'll say, okay, well, how often are you doing

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Speaker 1: these things every day? And I do it every day

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Speaker 1: every time this thing needs to be done. Oh well,

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Speaker 1: in my head, what I wonder is if they know

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Speaker 1: that you want them to do them, and how important

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Speaker 1: that is to you, and if they've even had a

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Speaker 1: chance to do those things. If you're doing them every day,

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Speaker 1: you're setting up an expectation that you will take care

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Speaker 1: of those things or that these things don't bother you,

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Speaker 1: and you show your partner that you're going to do them,

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Speaker 1: and then you take it personally when they don't read

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Speaker 1: your mind that you don't like having to do that

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Speaker 1: and trust me, I can do this too. But if

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Speaker 1: we think someone is going to think I am asking

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Speaker 1: for too much just by asking for my basic needs,

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Speaker 1: so I don't ask and I don't receive my need,

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Speaker 1: then that is actually my problem. It's a me problem

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Speaker 1: and not an issue with somebody not caring about you. Now,

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Speaker 1: I've been pretty vocal about my frustration with dating coaches

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Speaker 1: and how to guides that promise how you can get

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Speaker 1: a guy or girl of your dreams or whatever kind

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Speaker 1: of person of your dreams that you want. And what

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Speaker 1: I am not doing here is telling you how to

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Speaker 1: find that and three easy steps. But what I am doing,

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Speaker 1: and what I hope to be doing, is inviting all

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Speaker 1: of you guys into a space where you can recognize

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Speaker 1: the blind spots and roadblocks that you're setting up keep

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Speaker 1: you from having the chance to find the relationships that

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Speaker 1: you want in your life, whether those are friend relationships,

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Speaker 1: romantic relationships, work relationships, what have you. So there are

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Speaker 1: three essential parts to training people how you want to

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Speaker 1: be treated, and those include one being aware of what

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Speaker 1: it is that you want. And I feel like some

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Speaker 1: of you all are probably thinking the obviously we do that,

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Speaker 1: But I am serious about getting serious about this because

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Speaker 1: I think often we skip the most obvious steps because

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Speaker 1: since it's obvious, we shouldn't have to put much effort

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Speaker 1: into it. But I don't think that's so true all

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Speaker 1: the time. Some of us have spent our whole lives

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Speaker 1: avoiding our needs, so it might take a second for

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Speaker 1: us to actually hash these out and allow them to

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Speaker 1: show up. Then the second part is asking for what

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Speaker 1: we want. We have to make these things known. If

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Speaker 1: we want people to take their shoes off at the door,

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Speaker 1: we need to put a basket there. If we want

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Speaker 1: people to use a coaster on our coffee tables, we

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Speaker 1: need to hand one to our friends and request that

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Speaker 1: they put their drink on it. And then the last

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Speaker 1: part is setting boundaries, which is full circle with this

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Speaker 1: whole conversation. And the thing about boundaries is you don't

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Speaker 1: always have to yell them from the rooftops. You can

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Speaker 1: set internal boundaries. And a lot of these are going

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Speaker 1: to be internal boundaries based on what it is that

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Speaker 1: I want and need. If you don't want to be

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Speaker 1: a booty call, don't answer attacks from somebody at ten

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Speaker 1: pm asking if you have plans that night. And if

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Speaker 1: somebody refuses to use a coaster at your house, which

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Speaker 1: I think would be kind of insane, don't invite them

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Speaker 1: to your house again, or if they come back to

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Speaker 1: your house, you can tell them no drinks allowed inside.

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Speaker 1: Something that I always feel necessary to remind people when

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Speaker 1: when boundaries get brought up at all, is that we

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Speaker 1: are responsible for upholding those. Those are not anybody else's responsibility.

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Speaker 1: So if I have a boundary that I want to

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Speaker 1: be respected, I am in charge of actually holding onto

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Speaker 1: whatever consequence comes with that not being met. Otherwise, our

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Speaker 1: boundaries just become suggestions. And like I said, people like

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Speaker 1: to take the easy ways. And if it's just a suggestion,

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Speaker 1: but you're not going to do anything about it, and

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Speaker 1: they still get their needs met, there's no motivation to

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Speaker 1: do anything different. Now. When we don't do this, when

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Speaker 1: we don't set boundaries and we get treated poorly or

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Speaker 1: maybe just not how we want to be treated, Oftentimes

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Speaker 1: we have an experience of thinking that, like I said before,

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Speaker 1: people suck. I can't count on anybody. People don't value me,

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Speaker 1: people don't care about me, or some version of something

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Speaker 1: negative about the world. When we are kids and our

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Speaker 1: needs are not met. Something kids do children do because

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Speaker 1: of the stage of their development is that they assume

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Speaker 1: their needs are not met because there's something wrong with them.

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Speaker 1: It's an ecocentric way of looking at the world. The

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Speaker 1: world revolves around me. That is on par with the

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Speaker 1: stage of development that kids are in. We are supposed

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Speaker 1: to grow out of this linear way of thinking aqualsby

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Speaker 1: we can see that there's more to it as we

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Speaker 1: get older. What we learned while we experience secure attachment

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Speaker 1: is that the world actually doesn't revolve around us individually,

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Speaker 1: and often the reason X y Z happened really had

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with me personally. But if I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: on the edge of an avoidant or an anxious attachment,

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Speaker 1: then I might stay in this ego brain and we

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Speaker 1: don't get to experience the differentiation between others behavior and

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Speaker 1: my own worth. We solidify this lens with beliefs like

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Speaker 1: I am not worthy, I am not good enough, I

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Speaker 1: am not wanted, I am too much, and how I

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Speaker 1: end up viewing a lot of things that happen in

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Speaker 1: my life. The reality is that people will just point you.

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Speaker 1: There will be people who do not value you enough

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Speaker 1: to put in effort to do the things that you want.

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Speaker 1: Being a human on earth and choosing to engage in

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Speaker 1: human relationships is an automatic ticket to at some point

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Speaker 1: feel rejected in some way. Now, well I need you

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Speaker 1: guys to know is that this is more due to

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Speaker 1: the nature of being a human being and the fact

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Speaker 1: that human beings are imperfect rather than any one person's

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Speaker 1: actual inherent value and insecure attachment. Our attempts to avoid

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Speaker 1: abandonment and rejection is like the number one goal. We

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Speaker 1: are taught the message that there is no hope for

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Speaker 1: our needs being met, or that hope is very inconsistent.

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Speaker 1: So when you have hope, you better hold onto it

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Speaker 1: and not let it go. While at the same time

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Speaker 1: we have this need to maintain connection and attempt to

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Speaker 1: experience love and belonging. And if you want more information,

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Speaker 1: if you're like, oh, I don't really get this, what

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Speaker 1: are you talking about? If you want more information on attachment,

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Speaker 1: I have a couple of episodes to search you need

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Speaker 1: therapy and attachment, and you will find those. I have

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Speaker 1: two on attachment in general, and then I have one

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Speaker 1: specifically on anxious attachment. I have another one specifically on

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Speaker 1: avoidant attachment that you can dive into. And those honestly

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Speaker 1: might be helpful to listen to more than one time,

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Speaker 1: because it's information that might sometimes float away as we

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Speaker 1: continue to move on in our our own world with

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Speaker 1: our own lenses. So when this happens, when we have

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Speaker 1: these insecure attachments going on, what people do a lot

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Speaker 1: of times is they engage in patterns of behavior that

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Speaker 1: reinforce the negative belief that they have about themselves because

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Speaker 1: their ego is not strong enough to sit in uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: unknown experiences. But while they're doing this, what they think

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Speaker 1: they're doing is the opposite. Their defense mechanisms become their

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Speaker 1: blind spots, and while they believe they are protecting themselves,

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Speaker 1: they end up deepening wounds that drive their inability to

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Speaker 1: actually set the boundaries that we're talking about now. If

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Speaker 1: I refuse to ask for my needs and fear that

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Speaker 1: people don't value me enough to show up for me

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Speaker 1: in those ways, I am one not giving anybody the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to disapprove that fear, which allows it to continue

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Speaker 1: to ring true. Too. I'm setting the people up around

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Speaker 1: me up to let me down. And three, I am

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Speaker 1: spending my time catering to people who might not respect

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Speaker 1: me or care for me because I don't end up

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Speaker 1: weeding out the people that don't deserve to be in

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Speaker 1: my life, which is not a unique problem for any

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Speaker 1: one person. We all have those people in our lives,

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Speaker 1: no matter who we are, and you're often left spending

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Speaker 1: the majority of your time hanging out with people that

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Speaker 1: don't meet your needs because you basically tell them that

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Speaker 1: it's okay, not too through your behavior. And this happens

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Speaker 1: because the uncomfortable space of finding out if people will

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Speaker 1: be able to show up for you or will want

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Speaker 1: to show up for you feels too risky and it

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Speaker 1: ends up being this is better than nothing. So if

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Speaker 1: you're listening to this and relating hard, good and I

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Speaker 1: don't mean that and good. I'm glad you have experiences

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Speaker 1: that feel crappy, But I mean that is good because

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Speaker 1: what is true is that it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 1: this way. And if you are aware that it is

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Speaker 1: this way, then you can hear me say it doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to be this way. And it may be a

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Speaker 1: journey to get out of where you are, and it

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Speaker 1: may come with risks. Those risks might include hard feelings

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Speaker 1: or experiencing rejection or confusing people because you start to

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Speaker 1: change your behavior and that's confusing to people. But again,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to stay this way. Those things don't

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Speaker 1: have to be roadblocks for you getting out of this.

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Speaker 1: And when these shifts are made, not only do you

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Speaker 1: give yourself the opportunity to be love the way you

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Speaker 1: want and the way you deserve, you also open up

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Speaker 1: a space to see the world in a much more

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Speaker 1: beautiful light. And yes, there is bad in the world.

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Speaker 1: There is evil in the world, but there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of good out there too, and acknowledging the bad doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean we can't enjoy the good at the same time,

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Speaker 1: which is something that I think is going to be

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Speaker 1: a theme for you Neied Therapy as this year goes by.

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Speaker 1: I want to start creating more spaces where it's okay

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Speaker 1: to talk about the good parts of life, because we've

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Speaker 1: acknowledged that it's okay to talk about the bad parts,

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Speaker 1: and we've gotten that message out there. And I think sometimes,

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Speaker 1: and if you're an avid listener of the podcast, you

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Speaker 1: probably have heard me talk about this before, but we

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Speaker 1: get stuck in that mindset of acknowledging the bad and

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Speaker 1: we forget that, hey, just because there is bad doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean there aren't glimmers of light. There aren't cracks of

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Speaker 1: light even when when we are in the depths of

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Speaker 1: of valley situations. And so something that I am going

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Speaker 1: to do this year is do a better job of

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Speaker 1: holding both of those things as true for you guys

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Speaker 1: throughout the year, and I will all ways to do that,

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Speaker 1: and that's my promise to you guys, and that is

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Speaker 1: going to do it for You Need Therapy today. If

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Speaker 1: you want to follow me or the podcast, you can

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Speaker 1: do that on Instagram at You Need Therapy podcast and

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00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: at cat dot de fata. And if you want to

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Speaker 1: send me a message or a question for couch Talks,

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00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 1: which is the episode that comes out on Wednesdays where

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Speaker 1: I answer questions that you guys send into me, then

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Speaker 1: you can email Catherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com.

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Speaker 1: And remember the new segment we're going to have on

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Speaker 1: couch Talks, which is Bagel Moments. If you guys have

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Speaker 1: those Bagel moments, then send them into me, because I

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00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: think it's important for us to share our owns of

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Speaker 1: struggles so we feel less alone and less crazy for

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Speaker 1: a lack of a better term. So send this into

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Speaker 1: me and I will be back with you guys on

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Speaker 1: Wednesday for couch Talks