1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: It's Kimberly Schlapman from Little Big Town, and she had 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: told a story on the episode about after her first 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: husband died and laying in his closet. And she's sobbing 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: as she's telling us a story, and she says, I've 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 1: never told anybody any of this. And then when I'm 6 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 1: done recording, I realised I never hit record on her microphone, 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: and so we have none of it. And I am 8 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: I'm like laying my hands on the machine. Jesus, I 9 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,120 Speaker 1: need you to do a miracle. Jesus, I need you 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: to find a recording I cannot find. 11 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: And it showed up. I mean it showed up for 12 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 2: our producer. 13 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,800 Speaker 1: But I said to my manager that day, Kelly, Hey, what, 14 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm never doing a show by myself 15 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,919 Speaker 1: ever again, because I had recorded it myself without an engineer. 16 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 2: And I was like, that's the last one. 17 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,120 Speaker 1: We never do it without an engineer because I can't 18 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: think of everything and I forget things like hitting the 19 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: guests microphone. 20 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 3: So and so you got you did get it, though, 21 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 3: Jesus answered, the Lord. 22 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 2: The Lord, I am not kidding you, the Lord. 23 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 3: We're actually recorded. We got that, we're recording, right, now, 24 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 3: so I think I think this podcast begins with you 25 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 3: telling that story. 26 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 2: Bless Kimberly Schlapman's life. You so good to me. 27 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 3: That's really good. Annie Downs, thank you so much for 28 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 3: being here. 29 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 2: IM so glad to see you. Granger, I'm good. 30 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 3: It's glad to see you too, and I've I've learned 31 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 3: so much from you and I believe we've actually only 32 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 3: seen each other once in person. Is that right in Florida? 33 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 3: Is right in Florida? 34 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so. 35 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 3: It's interesting because in the music world it's not too different. 36 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 3: You see these artists and usually we would see each 37 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 3: other at award shows and every once in a while 38 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 3: we would, you know, wake up and we're in the 39 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 3: same city and we didn't even know it. And it's 40 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 3: kind of similar in the Christian speaks. 41 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 2: What happened. Yeah, I got to the event and I 42 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 2: was like, Greater Smith is here. I gotta go find him. 43 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 2: And I like being hot for you, So I was 44 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 2: really grateful. 45 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: I love I mean the crew that had us, the 46 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: Jay Walker's Worship team, I mean, I just love what 47 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: they're doing for the next generation. So anytime they call, 48 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: it's a yes for me. But then when my friends 49 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: are there. It's it's a double yeah. So I was 50 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: thrilled we were both getting to be there. 51 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 3: Well, I remember that event because I was I was 52 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 3: pretty new to doing that, speaking in that kind of space, 53 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 3: and it was like there was like a band and 54 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 3: drums and that they were like raving out there, and 55 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 3: I was backstage and I was like holding, you know, 56 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 3: my iPad with this message, and I was like, oh, 57 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 3: they're going to hate me, Like, I don't think I 58 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 3: have anything of benefit to say. I don't know, I 59 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 3: don't know what. I don't know what I could possibly 60 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 3: say after they have just gone through this rave and 61 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 3: and then I just you, I just had to learn 62 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 3: that's just how it is. 63 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 2: That's just how it is. They go that hard and 64 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 2: then they sit and listen. 65 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it is. 66 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a real joy. 67 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: You know, there are a lot of people like you 68 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: and me and our job who don't get invited to 69 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: speak into the lives of the next generation. And for 70 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: one reason or another, maybe they're unwilling, or maybe that's 71 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: not who they're pursuing right now. Whatever, I am so 72 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 1: thankful anytime someone says, come talk to teenagers or twenty somethings. 73 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: But because that's that's multiplication of what God's doing on 74 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: the planet and I and I just think the next 75 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: generation's got something special on him and I want to 76 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: be around him as. 77 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 2: Much as I can. 78 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 3: So true, that's it's heavy stuff. Getting invited to that 79 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 3: is heavy because you just go, oh, this matters, not that, 80 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 3: not that, not all of them, all of them matter. 81 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 3: But you think about the next generation and you just think, 82 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 3: you think, well, probably a lot of them are not Christians. 83 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 3: They came here, they might think they are, or they 84 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 3: get invited, or they're struggling because they're you know, they 85 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 3: grew up that way, but now they're wrestling with is 86 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 3: this Is this how I feel? Or is this how 87 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 3: my parents feel? 88 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: Yeah? Exactly. 89 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: I did the same thing when I was a sophomore 90 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: in college. I mean, I had a whole semester where 91 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: I was like, why am I doing this? Like no, 92 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: for some reason, my freshman year, I stayed. I stayed, 93 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: I towed the line. And then I got back for 94 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: my sophomore year at University of Georgia and I was like, wait, 95 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: I don't have to go to any of this. 96 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 2: What am I doing? 97 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: And so I think everybody needs that. I think if 98 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: you grew up in a Christian home, you need kind 99 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:06,119 Speaker 1: of a season that it's your choice and you make 100 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: that choice. It's also probably pretty scary for the parents, 101 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: and probably a little scary for me. Even at the time. 102 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: I remember having some thoughts of like, no, I have 103 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: to go. I have to go to the campus ministry, 104 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: I have to. 105 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 3: Go to Yeah, I'm. 106 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: Twenty, I don't have to do this, but I'm grateful 107 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: for it. And now you know, when we're getting to 108 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 1: be at things like that event we're at, I leave 109 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 1: so inspired by them. I mean, I feel like I 110 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: take way more than I give at those events because 111 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: I'm so inspired by their faith and their consistency. That's 112 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: what I wish i'd have been more true too in 113 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: my twenties is consistency, and we see that in the 114 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,559 Speaker 1: people who are twenty Now. 115 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 3: Do you think that is this generation is different than 116 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 3: you and I are about about the same age. Do 117 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 3: you think it's forty four, Yeah, I'm forty five. 118 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: You think it's different, I I do. I think there 119 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: is something in the generation behind us that they've been 120 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: they they are native technology, right, so they've had it 121 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: their whole lives. We're the last people who remember what 122 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:10,280 Speaker 1: it was like to not have technology but then to 123 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 1: have to interact it with it every day now. So 124 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,480 Speaker 1: I think that is different. I think God's doing something 125 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: different on Earth, and I think part of that is 126 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: because of an next nation, in the next generation. You 127 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: can see it when you follow Jenny Allen or Jonathan 128 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: Pacluda and the revivals they're part of at college campuses, 129 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: and so I do think there's something different about them. 130 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 1: And I think the opportunity, the fact that the whole 131 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: world has been in their hands for their whole lives. 132 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,479 Speaker 1: They have found the world less attractive than I do. 133 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: And I think I think the ones who know Jesus 134 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: and have experienced Jesus because they've always had the whole 135 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 1: world right here, and they go, wait, this is so 136 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: much better, Whereas I was like, God, You're great, here's 137 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: my little life, and then I get handed the whole 138 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: world on my phone and I don't have good self 139 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: control right and I don't have better boundaries. And I 140 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: think they're doing it better than we are. More more 141 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: people in their twenties have flip phones, and people in 142 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: their forties. 143 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 3: M I think you're right. Yeah, I've seen that too. Well, 144 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 3: that's what I don't think. I've thought about that perspective 145 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 3: because I usually think. I usually tell Amber, I sound 146 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,279 Speaker 3: like an old guy. Look at Amber, and I go, 147 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 3: this generation. One day, this is going to be our 148 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 3: government leadership and we're going to live in these people. 149 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: So I don't know, it's already a little true, right 150 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: because our pastors are our age. How in the world 151 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: is the church run by our peers? 152 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 2: That's crazy. 153 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 3: Football coach had NFL coaches, government officials that are our age. 154 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 3: And then when I. 155 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: See that I'm older than head football coaches, I'm like, 156 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,359 Speaker 1: this is not in world I was prepared for. 157 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 2: Aren't I the same age as the players? 158 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, it used to be players, and then occasionally there's 159 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 3: one quarterback and one punter that's our age, and then 160 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 3: now they're younger, and then now it's the the same 161 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 3: age as the head coaches. That's wild. I remember one 162 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 3: time at a conference there was a there was a 163 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 3: videographer and he was from Italy and we were just 164 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 3: having small talk backstage and he said, what are you 165 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 3: gonna speak about? And I told him briefly, I said, well, 166 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 3: you know partly cultural Christianity. You know, I usually hit 167 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 3: on that. And he was like, what's what's that? And 168 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 3: I said, you know, like what people think they're a 169 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 3: Christian and they might have even acknowledged that they're a 170 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 3: Christian or grew up that way, but but they're not. 171 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 3: They're not saved. And he was like, tell me more. 172 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 3: I don't know this. I was like, wait really, And 173 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 3: I suddenly realized through this conversation that it's it's uniquely 174 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 3: American because he was like, you're telling me people will 175 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 3: go to church on a Sunday morning just for social reasons, 176 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 3: Like yeah, that's we kind of feel convicted. We kind 177 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 3: of feel guilty if we don't as Americans. And he 178 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 3: was like, this is not happen in Italy. 179 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 2: Wow. 180 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: And you know, I live in Nashville, but I live 181 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: part time in New York. And that's true in New 182 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: York too. Grange is when you go to church, everybody 183 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: is there on purpose. No one's showing up because it 184 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: advances their career or advances their social standing, whereas and 185 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 1: other I mean I've only other lived in the South 186 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,239 Speaker 1: besides that, where that is true, I mean, we knew 187 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: which politicians went to which church when I was growing 188 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: up in my hometown, and that just didn't it just 189 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: didn't the truth anymore. And the truth up here it 190 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,599 Speaker 1: may still be the truth a little bit where you 191 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: and I live. But I actually just had a conversation 192 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,439 Speaker 1: with a pastor for a podcast, and she said, if 193 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: your theology of suffering doesn't work for people in third 194 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 1: world countries, it's not a good theology of suffering, right, 195 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 1: And so this idea of like, if it isn't if 196 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: I'm suffering, I'm not married yet, and so if I'm 197 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 1: thinking that my suffering, my deepest suffering is that I'm unmarried, 198 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,840 Speaker 1: but I have food and clothing and help and friends 199 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: and my faith. I'm not being persecuted. She's kind of like, 200 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 1: it actually isn't a good theology of suffering. And I 201 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: think the same is true here of like, if your faith, 202 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: like you're saying, if your faith is not if you're 203 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: not getting up and going to church because you're propelled 204 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,199 Speaker 1: to church by by your love of Jesus or in 205 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: your suffering, you are still finding solace in the church, 206 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: Like you don't have to feel like you're the general 207 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: of the army every Sunday But if you're just going 208 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: because it's culturally what you think you're supposed to do. 209 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 2: There's better for you. 210 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: There's better, there's a better relationship that you don't have today, 211 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 1: that's available. 212 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 3: That's amazing and so true. Suffering is a great revealer. 213 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 3: Suffering is the great tester. It's the fire that, when heated, 214 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 3: it reveals the strength of the faith, like metal, you know, 215 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,239 Speaker 3: when it's heated by a blacksmith. 216 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. 217 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: And if that suffering doesn't, if my theology of suffering, 218 00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: if my like God should give me what I want 219 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 1: and the fact that he hasn't says something about God. 220 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: If that's not true for children in the Middle East, 221 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: or for women in Afghanistan, or for for starving families 222 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: in other countries and in America, then it's actually not 223 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:16,440 Speaker 1: a good theology. 224 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 2: And that's not good theology. 225 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, then it's American theology. It's uniquely what you're talking about. 226 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, you're exactly right. 227 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, you said it. You see, you kind of hinted 228 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 3: at it earlier the way you grew up in Georgia. 229 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 3: And I felt that when you said it, because I 230 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 3: think about when I was in college, I thought I 231 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 3: got to get the church. Mama would want me in church, 232 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 3: you know, Like that's that's that's the reason I need 233 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 3: to have stayed up late last night with my friends 234 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 3: on the Saturday night. But I should get the church, 235 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 3: not because God wants me there, not because i'm but 236 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 3: because Mama would probably be mad at me. 237 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: It's a little tricky, right, because we want people to go, 238 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: Like if you want to go, if you've got a 239 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:00,319 Speaker 1: reason to be in the room with the whole spirit, 240 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: be in the room with all his spirits, you can 241 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 1: be under good teaching and under good worship. And so 242 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: so I think at this in the same breath, I 243 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: want to say, I think you did right by yourself 244 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: by going when you didn't want to go. It's just 245 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: this acknowledgment to everyone in the room, like if you're 246 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: not here because you've experienced what it's like to be 247 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: loved by Jesus, then there is more for you, Like 248 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 1: there's just more for you. And I don't want you 249 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: to come in on Sundays because it advances any part 250 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: of your life. I want you to come on Sundays 251 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: because you're in community with other people and you recognize 252 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: the value of gathering with them because y'all are also 253 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: deeply loved by God. 254 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 3: Absolutely, I don't really Yeah, the reason you get there, 255 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 3: it doesn't matter God. God has drawn you for many 256 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 3: different reasons. It could be the guilt of mama. I 257 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 3: had a friend who his mother was saved and started 258 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 3: going to church, and the dad, who was a drug addict, 259 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 3: would follow her there to make because he thought she 260 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 3: was seeing a man another man in the church. So 261 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 3: he was hiding in the bathroom every Sunday, and one 262 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 3: day in the stall, he heard the gospel through the 263 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 3: doors and he was saved. So doesn't matter how or 264 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 3: why you get the church. What what we're saying where 265 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 3: Instead we're saying, it's like we want to acknowledge a 266 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,880 Speaker 3: check engine light on your dashboard. If you're thinking, if 267 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 3: you're already here, I want you to think about the 268 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 3: reason you're here. That's what we're saying. 269 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 2: That's beautiful, that's leadership. You're a great pastor. We knew it. 270 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 3: No, No, I am fascinated by your book. Where did 271 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 3: TJ go? You? You sent me this and you send 272 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,200 Speaker 3: it to me an amber as a friend like you, 273 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 3: And I say that because it's not like you said, 274 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:48,839 Speaker 3: I'm going to be on your podcast, I'm going to 275 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 3: send you this book, so you you genuinely sent this 276 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:57,800 Speaker 3: as a friend, And I think, what, it's a beautiful book. 277 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 3: It's illustrated beautifully, children's book, it's easy to read. But 278 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 3: what strikes me about this book is it is it's 279 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 3: not universal. For it can be universal for every kind 280 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 3: of loss, but this is very specific loss, so much 281 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 3: so that it even has the name on the title 282 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 3: where did TJ Go? And this is not where? This 283 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 3: is not where did little brother go? Or where did 284 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 3: grandpa go? You know, you went in specific and you know, 285 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:36,719 Speaker 3: writing books similar to songwriting. Sometimes as a songwriter, we 286 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 3: we could get caught up and worried that, man, that's 287 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 3: too specific because if I get to I'm going to 288 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 3: pigeonhole myself. But there's another side of it that it's beautiful, 289 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 3: that it's so authentic, and so sometimes songs blow up 290 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 3: because they are very specific and beautiful, and it's the 291 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 3: same with authoring a book. And I think, did you 292 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 3: I guess I should first ask did you struggle with 293 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 3: that thought? Like should you make this more generic? 294 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 2: Yeah? 295 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: So I'll give you a theology answer and then I'll 296 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:10,320 Speaker 1: give you our family's answer. The interesting thing since Where 297 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: Did TJ Go? Has come out is multiple people have said, 298 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: will you write where did Grandpa Go? Will you write 299 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: where did my Mom go? Write Where my doll Go? 300 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: And they wanted to be a series, But theologically, I 301 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:25,320 Speaker 1: can't make promises about where your family is. That aren't children, right, 302 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: And so that feels unfair to write a book and 303 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: make assumptions if I actually believe the Gospel's true. And 304 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: so we are we stuck with where did TJ Go? 305 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 1: Because I feel very good about talking about heaven and 306 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: conjunction with the loss of children. Yes, and so it 307 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: was really important to me. I mean, I'll tell you 308 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 1: the truth, grader you you and I recorded an episode 309 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 1: of my podcast that sounds fun on the one year 310 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,040 Speaker 1: anniversary of the death of TJ, and I sobbed through 311 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 1: our conversation. But when my nephew passed away right when 312 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 1: my sister was we knew TJ was sick. He had 313 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 1: a life limiting diagnosis from about week twelve, and so 314 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:09,600 Speaker 1: we had the whole pregnancy just about to grieve and 315 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: hope that God would do something different. Well, about two 316 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: weeks before TJ was born. My sister's counselor said, you 317 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: should find a book to read to Sam, my older nephew, 318 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 1: about the loss of his brother. And so she calls 319 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,080 Speaker 1: me as the author of the family and says, what's 320 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: the book, Like, what does everybody read to their families 321 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: and the loss of a sibling? And so I called 322 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: counselors and pastors and some mom friends of mine who 323 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 1: were parents that were grieving while they were raising grieving children, 324 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: and nobody had a book. 325 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 2: Nobody. 326 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 1: There were a couple of suggestions that were adjacent, but 327 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: none of them were like a gospel story and a 328 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: sentence that I write a couple times in the book 329 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: is there is good news even in sad stories, which 330 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: is the gospel? And so what the reason it's so specific, 331 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: Granger is. I didn't write it to publish it. I 332 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: wrote it for Sam. I thought I was writing a story. 333 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 1: I don't do cast roles, but I can tell stories, 334 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: and so I thought I was just giving a story 335 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 1: to my family. When I first wrote it, I wrote 336 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: it into my phone. I was driving from Franklin, Tennessee, 337 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: to Nashville, so twenty five minutes just crying as I'm 338 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 1: telling myself the story in my phone of what I 339 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,120 Speaker 1: want Sam to know about the loss of his brother, 340 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 1: and so I wanted to talk about here's what happened, 341 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 1: Here's what Heaven's heaven is like. And if you're still sad, 342 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,800 Speaker 1: that's okay. You can still be sad after you know 343 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: what Heaven's like. And I got home, I typed it 344 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: up on my computer. I put it on eight and 345 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: a half by eleven. I stole clip art from the Internet, 346 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: and I went to the local print store and I 347 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: printed out two copies and spiral about it. 348 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 2: Gave one to my. 349 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: Sister and her husband and their family, and one to 350 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: my parents. I thought that was the end of it. 351 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: That's why it's so specific, Granger is that's what I 352 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: thought I was doing, as I thought I was serving 353 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: my nephew Sam in the loss of his little brother, 354 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,679 Speaker 1: and so it never was going to be generic, because 355 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,439 Speaker 1: that wasn't why I wrote it, or initially as my 356 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,640 Speaker 1: sister AFTERTJ ended up living. In the book, he does 357 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 1: not go home from the hospital. He dies in the hospital. 358 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: The diagnosis that TJ had trisome eighteen. The majority of 359 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: children do not go home from the hospital, so writing 360 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: that before TJ was born, That's what we assumed would happen. 361 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,640 Speaker 2: That's what we wanted to prepare Sam for. 362 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 1: But through the kindness of God and medical intervention, TJ 363 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: lived fifty six days, so three weeks and I see 364 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: you in five weeks on hospice care and my sister 365 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 1: and brother in law's house. And so after he died, 366 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: and a few months later, when they started reading where 367 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: did TJ go to? Sam, My sister would call me 368 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: and be like, Hey, the page about the zoo, there's 369 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: too many words. 370 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 2: Sam's bored. He is already bored. You got it. So 371 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 2: that's why she's the co authors because she like fixed it. 372 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 3: All the time, like that. 373 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,000 Speaker 2: Totally, totally. 374 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: And then I said it to my agent and I said, hey, 375 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: a few months ago, when TJ died, we could not 376 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 1: find the book we needed. Will you see if the 377 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: publisher wants to meet this need for other families, And 378 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 1: they generously agreed to do a very like you said, 379 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 1: a very specific, a very niche book that somehow has 380 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,120 Speaker 1: already served thousands and thousands of families in the first month. 381 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 3: That explains it so well, Like that explains it. It's 382 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 3: like you said in the music world. It would be like, 383 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,199 Speaker 3: you know, I wrote this song for my wife for 384 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 3: our wedding day, for our first dance. You know, That's 385 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 3: why it sounds specific, And that's exactly what you did. 386 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 1: That's yeah, I just said, no, what else to do? 387 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: I mean you, I have said repeatedly. I think I've 388 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: said this to you, but I've said it behind your back. 389 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 2: For sure. 390 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:57,359 Speaker 1: Parents who are who are grieving that are at the 391 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: same time in charge of raising grieving children are the 392 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,639 Speaker 1: highest level off hero to me because y'all have to. 393 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,480 Speaker 1: In my grief of TJ. Because I don't have any 394 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 1: of my own children and he was my nephew, I 395 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: was grieving alone, and in some ways that's so much easier. 396 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: I could stay in my bed if I wanted to 397 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: stay in my bed, y'all, and my sister and brother 398 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,199 Speaker 1: in lawn so many of our friends listening y'all had 399 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 1: to wake up every day and feed people I did not, 400 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,879 Speaker 1: And so what y'all do, and so my hope what 401 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,680 Speaker 1: y'all do is just extraordinary to do your own work 402 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: on your own grief while raising children who you have 403 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: to help them with their grief too, And so my 404 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: hope has just been that where did TJ Go? Will 405 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,400 Speaker 1: be a resource for parents in the midst of their 406 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: own grief to have something that helps them talk to 407 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,679 Speaker 1: their kids without just having to conjure up the conversation 408 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: in your own like guts. 409 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 3: Well, I will say this, I'll say thank you for 410 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 3: the for the acknowledgment of strength. But but yes, we'll 411 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 3: push back on that though. Okay, because I have a brother, Tyler, 412 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 3: he's my middle brother. He's three years younger than me. 413 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 3: He's single and never been married. And when we lost RIV, 414 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:16,119 Speaker 3: Tyler was in a support role of me and Amber 415 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 3: and our kids as an as a good uncle and 416 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 3: as a good brother in law and as a good brother. 417 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 3: But he loved Riv just like you love TJ. And 418 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 3: and he it was difficult because at the end of 419 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 3: the day, after a few months or so, you know, 420 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 3: he he's home alone in his in his yeah, in 421 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,919 Speaker 3: his place, and he goes to bed, and he doesn't 422 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 3: have Sometimes when they when the kids run in and 423 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 3: and they're doing their thing, or there's a busyness or 424 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,880 Speaker 3: there's a there's something funny that they say that it's 425 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 3: a little bit of a relief. It breaks through and 426 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,199 Speaker 3: and you. I'm assuming you didn't always have that, and 427 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,120 Speaker 3: Tyler didn't either, So that doesn't make it doesn't make 428 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 3: your loss easier because you don't have to feed children, 429 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 3: you see what I mean. 430 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you. 431 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 3: Thank you for that. 432 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 2: That's fair. 433 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 3: But that is a pushback on that. So you can't 434 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 3: you can't lessen your grief in that way and go yeah, hers, 435 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 3: you know, my sister's grief was tougher than mine. 436 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 1: Because I'm glad you brought up Tyler. I think it's 437 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: really helpful for our friends listening to know. One of 438 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 1: the things David Thomas says, who's a family therapist, and 439 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 1: he actually wrote a letter in the back of the book. 440 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 2: To help parents process. 441 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 1: He says children need one safe adult to process transition, 442 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: loss and grief. They only need one safe adult. And 443 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,359 Speaker 1: so the gift of aunts and uncles, and the gift 444 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,399 Speaker 1: of unmarried friends, and the gift of married aunts and 445 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,400 Speaker 1: uncles and the gift of grandparents is the children who 446 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: are grieving have a rotating cast of safe adults. And 447 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: so if they have their mom one day because dad 448 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,879 Speaker 1: needs a break, and if they have Uncle Tyler one 449 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: day because mom and dad are counseling together. They have 450 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 1: got one safe adult and so that has meant a 451 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,199 Speaker 1: lot to me to think, Okay, today, well I'm facetiming 452 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: with Sammy and we're being silly, and he brings up TJ. 453 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 1: I get to be the one safe adult today that 454 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:15,159 Speaker 1: helps him translate in this one conversation, that helps him 455 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: process some of his grief. And so I like reminding 456 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,919 Speaker 1: people like the parents have a really unique role obviously, 457 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 1: and so does every other adult that's willing to be 458 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: that one safe adult in a conversation or in a day. 459 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 3: That's so so good. And you say that, and I 460 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,320 Speaker 3: think about my brothers. Not to minimize Parker, my youngest, 461 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 3: but he's married and he has a baby, and Tyler, 462 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,120 Speaker 3: it's just been a special relationship that he has had 463 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 3: with my kids, all four of them, and now with 464 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 3: the three now he has been that guy. He has 465 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,600 Speaker 3: been He's been the guy that could take them and 466 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:56,479 Speaker 3: as a distraction or as something fun, or or allowing 467 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 3: amber night to have a date night. You take Tyler 468 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 3: out of this equation in our grief story, and it's 469 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 3: it's much harder on us. So not only has he 470 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 3: has he has he helped us tremendously. It's a gift 471 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,800 Speaker 3: from the Lord. In the Lord's kindness, we have we've 472 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 3: had Tyler in this and and your sister would say 473 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,120 Speaker 3: the same about you, and that that's also separate from 474 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 3: your own separate grieving of of these these children. 475 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I love that. 476 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 3: I love the book. I actually love I've made I 477 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,639 Speaker 3: made a strange argument of why it's very specific, and 478 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,600 Speaker 3: I actually love that that. It's that it's so specific. 479 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 3: I was reading it and I you're you're kind of 480 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,639 Speaker 3: it's so specific. You're kind of caught off guard. And 481 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 3: yet there are families that go through this all the time, 482 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 3: and and you I recognize that, Amber and I. There 483 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 3: are families, I should say it this way, our family. 484 00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 3: There are families that are less able to have deep 485 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 3: discussions with their kids, certainly, and they need something to 486 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:12,440 Speaker 3: initiate a conversation. And so you could say, let's read 487 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 3: a book. I don't. I don't either I don't want 488 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:16,679 Speaker 3: to talk about it or I don't know how to 489 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 3: talk about it. I'm grieving too, but yet I know 490 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,440 Speaker 3: that this needs to be acknowledged. And so you pull 491 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 3: out this book and it says you know it goes, 492 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 3: it goes, here's what it says. But then something happens, 493 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 3: like you literally turn the page after this exciting announcement 494 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,160 Speaker 3: of the pregnancy, but then something happens. The doctor takes 495 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 3: pictures inside Sam's mommy's belly and can see that baby 496 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 3: TJ is not growing like most babies grow. And then 497 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 3: there's little pictures and when you could just you could 498 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,439 Speaker 3: realize that that there's a family somewhere that they go, 499 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:53,239 Speaker 3: this is us. Yes, In the next page, you know 500 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 3: how your lungs could take a deep breath, Well, kids 501 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,920 Speaker 3: and grown ups need strong lungs to breathe. Baby TJ. 502 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 3: His lungs are not growing stronger. And then it talks, 503 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,680 Speaker 3: you know, the same about his heart, something very specific 504 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 3: and I actually marked it here. When we lost Riv, 505 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 3: they we've got some counseling from the hospital staff on 506 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 3: how to how to go home and tell our kids. 507 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,000 Speaker 3: This is something important. You need to know what to say. 508 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 3: What do you tell your kids? And so they encouraged 509 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 3: us not to say he is sleeping, you know, for 510 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 3: a long time, or he's off in a better place. 511 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 3: You know. They wanted us to before anything, and before 512 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 3: we said anything, they wanted us to say specifically he died. 513 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 3: He died, yes, yes, and you said that in your book. 514 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,159 Speaker 3: It says TJ was very sick, he would not be 515 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 3: coming home to live with Sam and Mommy and Daddy. 516 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 3: After he was born, TJ's heart stopped beating and he died. 517 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I got the same counsel David Thomas says, 518 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: be factual and actual because it actually helps children heal better. 519 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: And so we really didn't want to put in the 520 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 1: book and TJ went to be with Jesus. 521 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 3: Though that is true, that's true. 522 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,200 Speaker 1: Or TJ left his earthly body. 523 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 3: That is true, that's true. 524 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 1: But the rest of the world is not going to 525 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,320 Speaker 1: tell Sam that his little brother TJ grew a pair 526 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,240 Speaker 1: of wings and flew to heaven. The rest of the 527 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: world is gonna say your brother died, and then he 528 00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 1: goes my brother died. And so we wanted the same thing. 529 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 1: We wanted to be actual and factual with that part, 530 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: because it also is a good reminder that TJ didn't 531 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 1: like disappear. TJ didn't like disintegrate. Riv didn't disappear. They 532 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: are somewhere, they exist somewhere else, And so we wanted 533 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 1: to be very clear of like, while TJ is not here, 534 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: he has died in his body, he is with Jesus somewhere. 535 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: So we can hold both the joy and the suffering. 536 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,080 Speaker 1: We can hold the sadness and the joy. And so 537 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: it mattered to me too, Granger, that we said the 538 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 1: true thing. 539 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:11,680 Speaker 2: Kids. 540 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,160 Speaker 1: Kids know, I mean, they know when something's wrong, they 541 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,359 Speaker 1: know when everybody's upset, they know in something sideways, and 542 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: so as best we can, when we can tell them 543 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: the truth, we tell them the truth. 544 00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 3: As a reminder, you could always get a hold of 545 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 3: me on cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. It's a 546 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 3: great way to get a message, a video message from 547 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 3: me from anywhere in the world to whoever you want 548 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 3: to send it to. You go to cameo dot com 549 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,240 Speaker 3: slash Granger Smith and you feel out whatever you want 550 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 3: me to say, happy anniversary, happy birthday, may be a 551 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 3: word of encouragement to someone that needs to hear it, 552 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 3: and that person may be you, and then I'll send 553 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 3: you a video message. It's super easy and it's a 554 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 3: good gift. I've been doing this for many years now. 555 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 3: It's a good gift to someone that is impossible to 556 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 3: buy for and you don't know what to get them 557 00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,480 Speaker 3: once again, go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, 558 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,399 Speaker 3: I got to tell you all about this, And have 559 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,000 Speaker 3: you heard about yege Fest. It's happening this year May 560 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 3: ninth and tenth in Georgetown, Texas at the EEE Farm, 561 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 3: So you can come hang out with us. Me, my brothers, 562 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 3: my family will all be there. We've got a track 563 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 3: show happening. We've got a mud Bog competition, kind of 564 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 3: like we did last year, but the new edition this 565 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,760 Speaker 3: year is a concert by me and my band and 566 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,480 Speaker 3: my old crew. This is not a tour, This is 567 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 3: not me getting back into music. This is one time 568 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,439 Speaker 3: every year we hope to do a concert for my 569 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 3: friends and family, especially Maverick who's never seen me play 570 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 3: live before. So come out have a meal with me 571 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 3: and my family on Friday night. I'm gonna give a 572 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 3: little devotional from the Bible, maybe play an acoustic song 573 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 3: or two. This is really a once in lifetime experience, 574 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 3: and if you want to find out more, go to 575 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 3: eeye dot com. It's a great it's a great thing 576 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:53,320 Speaker 3: to acknowledge what they already know, that something is really 577 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 3: wrong with this world. We weren't created for death. That's 578 00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 3: why death is so confusing and it's so just disturbing 579 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 3: when we see it. We were not created for this 580 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 3: is it is a disruption of God's good creation. As 581 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 3: a result of sin, there is death, and we will 582 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 3: all die. Unless the Lord comes back, we will all die. 583 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 3: And so kids are so smart they know these things, 584 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 3: and like you said, they're going to have the discussion 585 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 3: with other kids whether you tell them or not. So 586 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 3: we must lead with actual factual I love that. I 587 00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:29,360 Speaker 3: think that that's such a great point. 588 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,080 Speaker 2: So helpful. It's so helpful. 589 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 1: I just don't you know, I remember learning things on 590 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: the playground. I we shouldn't learn on the playground. So 591 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 1: as another safe adult in my nephew's life and now 592 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: in all these kids' lives and families who read this book, 593 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: if I can keep them from learning on the playground 594 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: that someone in their family died. 595 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 2: Then I want to do that. 596 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,560 Speaker 3: Well. The fast thing thing fascinating thing about you, though, 597 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 3: is you have a background in teaching elementary school, So 598 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,960 Speaker 3: this goes deeper for you. Not only did you live it, 599 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 3: but you saw it and taught it, and it explains 600 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 3: so much about your your passion enough for writing books 601 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 3: like this. 602 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wild. 603 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 1: I mean it feels like one of those things where 604 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: the Lord kind of was like rubbing his hands together. 605 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: And twenty five years ago, when I was getting my 606 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: teaching certificate of like, she thinks this is only for 607 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: the classroom, know, And had that been my whole life, 608 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: had I been the woman who retired after thirty years 609 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,600 Speaker 1: of teaching elementary school, that still is a high calling. 610 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,440 Speaker 1: That just wasn't my calling. That's a really high calling 611 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: that just wasn't mine. And so I just love the 612 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: kindness of God that, like what I'd have told you 613 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: at twenty is that I'm going to teach school, I'm 614 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 1: gonna get married, I'm gonna have kids, I'm going to 615 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 1: live in my hometown forever. And God was like, I'll 616 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 1: let her think that that's okay to have dreams and 617 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: to have hopes. But what he saw was such a 618 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: totally different story that twenty five years later, I have 619 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 1: the training and the tools to write a book about 620 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 1: my nephew who died in order to help other families. 621 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 1: Now I know you think like this too, Granger, But 622 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,520 Speaker 1: when people say, if my story just helps one person, 623 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, if this story was meant to help one person, 624 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 1: we should have gotten coffee. I should have written a book, 625 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: we should have sat down and had coffee. I hope 626 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 1: it helps one family, but that's not how seeds work. 627 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: When you plan a seed, you don't get a seed. 628 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 1: When you plan a seed, you get a tree with 629 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:26,680 Speaker 1: fruit for years. And so God planted a seed and 630 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 1: me years ago about teaching school and leading children that 631 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: he has grown a tree with multiple fruit. And TJ's 632 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 1: life is a seed that was planted. And I'm not 633 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 1: looking for a seed and fruit. I'm looking for a tree. 634 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: I'm looking for this to matter to a lot of 635 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,720 Speaker 1: families and help a lot of people. And so I'm 636 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: thankful for the training, the way God, the way God 637 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 1: saw my life before I saw my life. And it 638 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 1: certainly doesn't mean I have everything that I want, but 639 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 1: it is better than I could have dreamed. 640 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,640 Speaker 2: That was for sure. 641 00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 3: Amen. I see Amber and I have constant discussions when 642 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 3: we see someone come to Christ, and it's it's a 643 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 3: direct result of some fruit of something that was connected 644 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 3: to the crazy stuff that's happened in our family. I'll 645 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 3: say River got another one. And of course I don't 646 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 3: mean river got it, but the Lord through river story. 647 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,560 Speaker 3: The Lord got another one through river, and and that's 648 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 3: the same thing with TJ. It's the same thing. 649 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:26,560 Speaker 2: Thank you. 650 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, we get to I mean, it is the sweet 651 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 1: part of a sour story, right, and sour is the 652 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 1: lightest word for it. But we're I like, the river 653 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 1: got another one. I would like to start. I would 654 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: like to start thinking, TJ, I got another one. Anytime 655 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 1: someone comes to faith because they feel healed by one 656 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 1: of our stories, it is the It is the supernatural 657 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 1: way that God works. Is that we do not have 658 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 1: to be living on earth today to be impacting people 659 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 1: on earth today. 660 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 2: And and what a gift that God. 661 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,480 Speaker 1: I mean, my sister says all the time, there are 662 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,480 Speaker 1: so many families who have lost children and that will 663 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 1: never see the impact their child's life made in other 664 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: people's lives and thoughts. Allowing your family and my family 665 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 1: to see that impact, and I think I'm really thankful 666 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:09,640 Speaker 1: for that. 667 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 3: You're so right. We're not guaranteed to see the result 668 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,120 Speaker 3: of the seeds. We don't always get to see the harvest, 669 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 3: and in fact we won't see the majority of it. 670 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 3: But anytime we do see any of us, just the 671 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 3: kindness of the Lord. It's just a little bit of 672 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,640 Speaker 3: a window into see this is what I'm doing. It's 673 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 3: much greater than you could ever imagine what I'm doing. 674 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure this happened with you all two. 675 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 1: But man, my view of what we're doing here and 676 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 1: what's going on and what comes after this has so 677 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: drastically changed. In the death of tj Or, I'm like, oh, 678 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: this is a short part ring my life out. Have 679 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 1: what you want, Lord, like we got it. I don't 680 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 1: want to take a motorcycle to happen. I want to 681 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 1: take a school bus, you know, Like use my life 682 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: up because this is the short part. Like, if we 683 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 1: live in a planet where it's die, this isn't a 684 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 1: great place. We need to prepare for the better spot. 685 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,720 Speaker 1: This is just the beginning. Like it has really changed 686 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:13,479 Speaker 1: my view of the temporary nature of earth, this earth 687 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,400 Speaker 1: that we know, and the excitement of heaven and the 688 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:16,839 Speaker 1: new Earth. 689 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's Paul's argument in Phlippians. One, Christ will be 690 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 3: honored in my body, whether by life or by death, 691 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 3: or to me to live as Christ and to die 692 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 3: is gain. Should I leave here? He's saying, should I leave, 693 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,879 Speaker 3: Oh God, work to do. So I'm torn between the two. 694 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:31,880 Speaker 3: He's wrestling with this, like I want to be with 695 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,600 Speaker 3: the Lord, but I have work to do because I 696 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,800 Speaker 3: want to take a school bus. That's the same marketmle. 697 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 3: Cultivating a homesickness for heaven and realizing that the Lord 698 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,879 Speaker 3: can use us as a vessel is something that could 699 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,080 Speaker 3: just set you free. It crushes the fear of man, 700 00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:57,120 Speaker 3: It crushes the reliance on this world. It elevates, magnifies 701 00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,719 Speaker 3: Christ and loosens our own can tentmen and what we 702 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 3: have right now. And you have you have done that. 703 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 3: You've been an inspiration of so many. I want to 704 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:11,359 Speaker 3: I want to say something. I know that you are. 705 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 3: You're You're so intelligent, and you're such a you're so 706 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,960 Speaker 3: well spoken, and you're so zealous and passionate about the Lord. 707 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,760 Speaker 3: So we'll put all that aside. You know, I, how 708 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,439 Speaker 3: have you grown this platform? I know the Lord, the Lord, 709 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,680 Speaker 3: the Lord has done amazing things through you. But if 710 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,840 Speaker 3: you look at your story, it doesn't make sense. 711 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,319 Speaker 2: It does not make sense. It does not make sense. 712 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,080 Speaker 1: I'll tell you a thing I've prayed from the start 713 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,400 Speaker 1: is I don't want one more follower than my character 714 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,080 Speaker 1: can handle. And so there are times where you get 715 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: more followers and there are times when you get less. 716 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:47,440 Speaker 1: In the times when I get less, I'm like, uh, oh, 717 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: what's going on with my character? 718 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 3: Lord? 719 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 2: Where are you working? You know? I I think. 720 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,440 Speaker 1: I think you probably would say this is true in 721 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: your life too, Granger. What comes to mind when you 722 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,600 Speaker 1: ask me that is the more honest I've gotten about 723 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,080 Speaker 1: my pain, the more people want to hear about your pain. 724 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: And so for a long time I wouldn't talk about 725 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:12,520 Speaker 1: being single because I didn't want it to be the 726 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 1: center of my ministry or my job. But man, when 727 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: you start saying Jesus is enough, and I don't have 728 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,880 Speaker 1: everything I want, and I'm mad about that some days, 729 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: and this is the life I would pick some days, 730 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,319 Speaker 1: and the complication of not having everything you want, people 731 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,400 Speaker 1: want to hear that. They want to they want to 732 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,720 Speaker 1: be closer to that story. And so I think that's been. 733 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:35,480 Speaker 2: Part of it. 734 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,120 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you we live by four rules at 735 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: our company. Work hard, pray hard, rest hard, and play hard. 736 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,280 Speaker 2: And we do all of those. And so we. 737 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:53,600 Speaker 1: Work, pray, pray, pray, and place it. If anyone would 738 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,240 Speaker 1: have to play hard though you've come. 739 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,840 Speaker 2: To the right place. Come to the right place. 740 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:57,439 Speaker 3: I got it. 741 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,319 Speaker 1: So I work really hard and my team works really hard. 742 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:06,400 Speaker 1: But we also believe that prayer changes things, and prayers 743 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: are directive. And we've made two decisions in the last 744 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 1: two weeks that do not make any sense. Granger, They 745 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,320 Speaker 1: do not make any sense, They do not make financial sense, 746 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 1: they do not make influence sense. 747 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 2: But we feel like we've. 748 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 1: Heard God, and you go, Okay, whatever route he's taken 749 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,520 Speaker 1: us on, we may be wrong, but I think we've 750 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,160 Speaker 1: heard God, and so we pray really hard. And then 751 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I am committed to my team not working 752 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,839 Speaker 1: on the weekends, absolutely committed to it. 753 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:35,360 Speaker 2: The last conversation. 754 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: We have Fridays at one o'clock as we all get 755 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: on slack and say or we'll say it Friday morning sometimes, 756 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,920 Speaker 1: but it's what do you need from anybody else to 757 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,240 Speaker 1: make sure you're not working this weekend? 758 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 2: Are you waiting on anybody? 759 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,839 Speaker 1: If you're waiting on anybody, say it right now, because 760 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,799 Speaker 1: I don't want anybody working over the weekend. And that 761 00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 1: you know there are times where someone says, hey, can 762 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: I have Thursday afternoon off to be with my kids. 763 00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: It's going to be sunny, Saturday is going to be rainy. 764 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,440 Speaker 1: I'd rather be on my computer while my kids are 765 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 1: watching a movie Saturday afternoon. That's totally fine. I'm not 766 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: like a dictator about it. But we take resting hard 767 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:12,320 Speaker 1: really seriously, and so you won't catch us on the weekends. 768 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,279 Speaker 1: You won't catch me on social media very much on 769 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,960 Speaker 1: the weekends. You won't catch us working on the weekends. 770 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 1: And another a sentence we say a lot is we're 771 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,799 Speaker 1: not a hospital. We don't have emergencies. We just don't 772 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,040 Speaker 1: have emergencies. So I don't need a problem solved at 773 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 1: ten pm by one of my team members. Now, if 774 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,840 Speaker 1: my website's broken, that's really annoying, and that gives me 775 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:30,880 Speaker 1: heart palpitations. 776 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 2: It doesn't mean it's an emergency. 777 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,840 Speaker 1: It just means a website's broken, and by nine am 778 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,320 Speaker 1: tomorrow they'll fix it because that's when they come to work, 779 00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,160 Speaker 1: and so we try to live by that. We do 780 00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 1: well by that about ninety five percent of the time. 781 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,839 Speaker 1: Five percent of the time we have to fix things 782 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:50,279 Speaker 1: off hours. But I think sabbath and tithing are the 783 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:53,680 Speaker 1: tricks to success because if you hand back to God 784 00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,480 Speaker 1: what he's already given you. You're limitless and what you 785 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:58,360 Speaker 1: can accomplish. He can do more in six days than 786 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: I could ever do in seven And so that I 787 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 1: think all of that, that's a long answer. I think 788 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:08,000 Speaker 1: all of that has contributed to the impact we get 789 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 1: to have in people's lives. Working hard, resting hard, praying hard, 790 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,919 Speaker 1: playing hard, and being honest about parts of my life 791 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,840 Speaker 1: that are painful to the degree that it's healthy. With 792 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,840 Speaker 1: the help of mentors and counselors and leadership in my life, 793 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,000 Speaker 1: I think that helps us stay on track and create 794 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,560 Speaker 1: the things we get to create for people. 795 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 3: But I mean, yeah, when you speak like that, that's 796 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:32,759 Speaker 3: want to say it. I asked the question and then 797 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 3: you speak like that, and everyone goes, oh, yeah, now 798 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,880 Speaker 3: I see, and now I see. Yeah, when you look 799 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:41,960 Speaker 3: at it on paper and and there is and this 800 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,359 Speaker 3: is nothing on school teachers, elementary school teachers, but it 801 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 3: just doesn't. You don't see someone like you coming out 802 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 3: of Georgia Mariatta, you know, going to Uggah and come 803 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,800 Speaker 3: and you know you're school teacher. You're on a certain path. 804 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,799 Speaker 3: That path usually doesn't break and turn into what you did. 805 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,400 Speaker 3: That's right, But you know exactly right. I mean, my 806 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 3: family will agree with you. They were like, what is 807 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,120 Speaker 3: shit going on? I mean, for sure, for sure, it's 808 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:11,799 Speaker 3: interesting you say you're you're tithing too, because you're I know, 809 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 3: you're not just talking about money, You're you're really talking 810 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,040 Speaker 3: about also your time. You're talking about your life. I 811 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 3: am giving back my life. I'm giving a certain amount 812 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:21,880 Speaker 3: of time back to you. 813 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:22,280 Speaker 1: Lord. 814 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,799 Speaker 3: I read that you did a sabbatical, and probably the 815 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,320 Speaker 3: one place in the world that would probably be last 816 00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,120 Speaker 3: on my list if I was going to take a 817 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:35,360 Speaker 3: sabbatical that would that would be New York City. But 818 00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 3: the more I've thought about it after I read that, 819 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,439 Speaker 3: I thought about it and I was like, Okay, I'm 820 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,640 Speaker 3: starting to put together a good thesis on why I 821 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 3: could actually have a sabbatical in New York. Tell me 822 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,759 Speaker 3: why you picked it when, and the more importantly, what 823 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,360 Speaker 3: you did during the sabbatical. 824 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:51,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 825 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,799 Speaker 1: So, I actually take a month off every year. I 826 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:55,359 Speaker 1: take a month off every summer. 827 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 2: Healthy and I give my. 828 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 1: Team two weeks off every summer, and it does not 829 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,960 Speaker 1: count towards their sick days or towards their vacation days. 830 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,880 Speaker 1: I give them two weeks in the summer, and I 831 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,520 Speaker 1: take four weeks around their two weeks because I want 832 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:14,000 Speaker 1: them to rest hard. And when they are working and 833 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,360 Speaker 1: I'm not, they're making me really long lists. 834 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,279 Speaker 2: And I don't like long lists. And so I'm like, 835 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:19,280 Speaker 2: just don't work. 836 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,759 Speaker 1: How about you don't work either, And so we all 837 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,440 Speaker 1: take summer time off. I'll tell you one of the 838 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,360 Speaker 1: reasons New York is a good fit for me for 839 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,279 Speaker 1: resting is if I go to the beach, I'm the 840 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:33,359 Speaker 1: loudest thing there. It is just it's so serene, it's 841 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,560 Speaker 1: so quiet. When I go to New York, I disappear. 842 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: I disappear into the hubbub and the noise and the movement, 843 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 1: and there's just always stuff to do. I don't think 844 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: sabbath means laying around. I think Sabbath means worship, rest 845 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,160 Speaker 1: and celebration. And so if I'm taking a sabbatical for 846 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:56,400 Speaker 1: my month in the summer, I'm not staying in my 847 00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 1: bed for a month. I'm just doing things that bring 848 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 1: life to me for a month and I'm not working. 849 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:03,760 Speaker 1: And so I'm not going to sit at my computer, 850 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,360 Speaker 1: but I'm going to go to the met I'm going 851 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,000 Speaker 1: to go to a museum. I'm not going to sit 852 00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 1: at my computer, but I am going to go on 853 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,239 Speaker 1: runs every day that I can run. As you know, 854 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,080 Speaker 1: for I trained for a five k. Trained for a 855 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,239 Speaker 1: five k, so that's my level of running, just to 856 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,839 Speaker 1: be clear. But I can do my two miles of 857 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:23,239 Speaker 1: training and then I can walk for another hour and 858 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:27,719 Speaker 1: nobody cares because I'm in my sabbatical weeks and so 859 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 1: it is anything life giving for me. 860 00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,120 Speaker 2: And that's cross stitching. That is. 861 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,759 Speaker 1: I don't like cooking ever, and so it's not like 862 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 1: I'm in the kitchen for hours. I just don't enjoy it. 863 00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 1: But I'm very good at combining. So I'll make a sandwich. 864 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,560 Speaker 1: I'm not like eating it three days a week or 865 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,040 Speaker 1: three times a day, certainly not in New York. But 866 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,880 Speaker 1: I am doing things that are life giving for me, 867 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,239 Speaker 1: that fill me up so that when I am back 868 00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:56,319 Speaker 1: to work in July and we do this year, if 869 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 1: nothing changes, it looks like I'm going to have the 870 00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,799 Speaker 1: last two weeks of June the first two weeks of July. 871 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: So when I go back the second half of July, 872 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,920 Speaker 1: I want to run, man. I want to be so 873 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:09,160 Speaker 1: full of ideas and hope the best sabbatical I've ever had. 874 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:12,880 Speaker 1: Two years ago, on the last this is twenty three. 875 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,000 Speaker 1: On the last Friday, I was laying at the pool 876 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:17,839 Speaker 1: reading a book and I sat up and I was like, 877 00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 1: I'm bored. 878 00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:20,800 Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, I got bored. 879 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, two more days. 880 00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:25,600 Speaker 2: Great to go back to work. That was the goal. 881 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,800 Speaker 1: The goal is always to get bored because my brain 882 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,000 Speaker 1: it takes a long time for my brain to get bored. 883 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,960 Speaker 1: And so we found that if I did one week, 884 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 1: I never stopped working mentally, two weeks I started to 885 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:43,719 Speaker 1: and then I was mostly sad, and so I save 886 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:48,320 Speaker 1: all my vacation days for summer. So I give everybody 887 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 1: the two weeks, and then I saved my vacation days 888 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:51,080 Speaker 1: for the other two weeks. 889 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,160 Speaker 3: Where are you going this year? 890 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 1: I may be in New York again. Our family. So 891 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,920 Speaker 1: here's a really cool thing. I'd be curious if this 892 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,960 Speaker 1: happened in y'all's family. After River. One of the there 893 00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 1: have been some really interesting gifts God has given our 894 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,600 Speaker 1: family and the loss of TJ. And one of them 895 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,720 Speaker 1: is we kind of realize are my age of cousins. 896 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:16,520 Speaker 2: There's six of us. 897 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,759 Speaker 1: We kind of realized we didn't like only seeing each 898 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,520 Speaker 1: other at Christmas, and so we've started doing a big 899 00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:26,839 Speaker 1: family vacation together every summer, all twenty of us. And 900 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,359 Speaker 1: we've only done it since TJ died, and so we've 901 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,160 Speaker 1: done it. This is our third summer and so that's 902 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:33,879 Speaker 1: July fourth week, and so I'll do that as part. 903 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,399 Speaker 1: So I'll probably be in New York part of it 904 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,160 Speaker 1: and then be with my family the week of July 905 00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,279 Speaker 1: fourth and then I'll probably be in Nashville and just 906 00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,600 Speaker 1: do like lay by the pool in my condo complex 907 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,880 Speaker 1: for a couple of days. But what a gift to 908 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 1: get to do vacation now with our whole family. 909 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:49,840 Speaker 2: It's so it is so special. 910 00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 3: It is so special. And that's another thing back to 911 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,560 Speaker 3: the cultural Christianity thing in America. It's another thing Americans 912 00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,840 Speaker 3: have really lost is in the rest of the world. 913 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:02,359 Speaker 3: Really they take hall and it's a big deal and 914 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:07,120 Speaker 3: the families come together and we just work, work, work, work, work, 915 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,680 Speaker 3: and just fill up our schedules. It's uniquely American once again. 916 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 3: So I think it's a beautiful thing. And yeah, my family, 917 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,399 Speaker 3: we have really started to embrace that more and more, 918 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,640 Speaker 3: partly because of my sister in law Amy, who comes 919 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,600 Speaker 3: from a family that was always together for everything. Yeah, 920 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 3: and she comes into our family and she's like, hey, 921 00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,759 Speaker 3: we need to start organizing some stuff. You know, let's 922 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,239 Speaker 3: go forward, let's look let's look at Airbnb and see 923 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,840 Speaker 3: what we could do to cram everybody together. And it's beautiful. 924 00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:38,200 Speaker 1: That's exactly did I mean, we have six kids under five. 925 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,400 Speaker 1: I mean it is a mess of a time, but 926 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,920 Speaker 1: it is so fun. You know me, I'm like camp counselor. 927 00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,440 Speaker 1: From minute one, my sisters and my cousins are all 928 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 1: like making dinner and the husbands are cleaning up, and 929 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:52,640 Speaker 1: I'm like setting up an obstacle course to make all 930 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,120 Speaker 1: the kids run through. I mean, I am a camp counselor. 931 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,400 Speaker 1: I'm an elementary school teacher all the time. So I 932 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,440 Speaker 1: just like it is not the most rest. We're not 933 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:03,560 Speaker 1: laying by the beach. But at some point the kids 934 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,080 Speaker 1: will be thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and they're gonna 935 00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,200 Speaker 1: want to hang out with each other and they're not 936 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,279 Speaker 1: gonna want me to play with them, and so this 937 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,520 Speaker 1: is the time when I get to be tired on 938 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,960 Speaker 1: Big Fan bay k And that will not be true 939 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:16,600 Speaker 1: in a decade. 940 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,400 Speaker 3: Yeah. Amen, they're going to be so they're going to 941 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,719 Speaker 3: be busy with their own lives by then. 942 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:22,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. 943 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:23,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're gonna. 944 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 2: Want to hang out with each other and lay by. 945 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,760 Speaker 1: The pool and be cool and not do an obstacle 946 00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,480 Speaker 1: course that I set up in the living room. 947 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:33,440 Speaker 3: That's true. It's a wonderful place to be. It's it 948 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,680 Speaker 3: would be hard to have this conversation and not address 949 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:39,400 Speaker 3: the fact that you talk a lot about your singleness 950 00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,319 Speaker 3: and how you feel about that, and you've probably you've 951 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 3: probably come a long way in your thinking and how 952 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:50,879 Speaker 3: you you know, in your own time, have really reconciled 953 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,960 Speaker 3: what that means. And I think it's probably very helpful 954 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:56,000 Speaker 3: for a lot of people. I think that's that's why 955 00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:58,760 Speaker 3: your podcast is wildly successful in a lot of ways, 956 00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 3: because people people want to hear what you have to say, 957 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,840 Speaker 3: because culture says this, and you say, I'm listening to 958 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,960 Speaker 3: the Lord. How do you impact that? 959 00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:09,479 Speaker 2: Yeah? 960 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:12,080 Speaker 1: I mean I think part of it is remaining the 961 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,680 Speaker 1: person who is unabashedly wanting to get married, right, Like, 962 00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:20,640 Speaker 1: I don't pretend like, well, now that I'm forty four 963 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:23,680 Speaker 1: and single, I don't want this anymore. Yeah, I'm like, no, no, no, 964 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:27,040 Speaker 1: do you know someone like I am, Like, I still 965 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:29,359 Speaker 1: hope this is the story I get to live at 966 00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,239 Speaker 1: some point. I still hope I get married and have 967 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:32,960 Speaker 1: a partner and everything we're doing. 968 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,160 Speaker 2: And and I just I look forward to that. 969 00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:39,120 Speaker 1: I enjoy dating. I think it's fun, and so I am. 970 00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,560 Speaker 1: I think that is one of the keys that has 971 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,399 Speaker 1: surprised people. For every time I talk about I say 972 00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,720 Speaker 1: I'm not married yet, but I hope to be someday. 973 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,359 Speaker 1: And I got so much pushback at first grade sher 974 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,480 Speaker 1: from other Christian women who were like, how can you 975 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:53,919 Speaker 1: say yet? 976 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,279 Speaker 2: You can't be sure you're gonna get married. 977 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,720 Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm also not forty five yet, 978 00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:58,600 Speaker 1: but I hope to be. 979 00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:00,480 Speaker 2: Can't yet where we ho? 980 00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,640 Speaker 1: I mean, if my life goes the way I think, 981 00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,359 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get to July and be forty five, And 982 00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,239 Speaker 1: if my life goes away, I hope I will get 983 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,480 Speaker 1: to be married at some point. And so I think 984 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,880 Speaker 1: that tension of not having what I want and publicly 985 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:17,040 Speaker 1: saying that has has put me in a unique spot 986 00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:21,440 Speaker 1: in a lot of people's lives. And also, you know, 987 00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:25,040 Speaker 1: I'm getting to live my life in front of people 988 00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,719 Speaker 1: who think from what they've said to me, who say 989 00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:31,480 Speaker 1: things like, I don't know why Annie's not married, But 990 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,520 Speaker 1: if she's okay, maybe I can be okay too. 991 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:34,440 Speaker 2: Well. 992 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,160 Speaker 1: If she's having fun, maybe I can have fun. Well, 993 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,880 Speaker 1: if she's still love God, maybe I need to figure 994 00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:44,239 Speaker 1: out why I'm so mad at God. And if she 995 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,719 Speaker 1: cried about that, maybe it's okay that I cried about that. Yeah, 996 00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:52,640 Speaker 1: And so I think there is some I think discipleship 997 00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,560 Speaker 1: has best done one on one in real life, but 998 00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:58,080 Speaker 1: I think there's some internet discipleship that is possible just 999 00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:01,399 Speaker 1: by watching people's lives. I get decide watching people's lives. 1000 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,799 Speaker 1: I mean, you and I talked about this, like I 1001 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:06,120 Speaker 1: feel discipled by you and Amber and how you deal 1002 00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,760 Speaker 1: with grief and loss of a child. And so because 1003 00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,480 Speaker 1: I got to watch y'all do that go through that 1004 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,200 Speaker 1: ahead of me. And so I think there are people 1005 00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:20,560 Speaker 1: who experience their own singleness through watching mine. Now I 1006 00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:22,520 Speaker 1: don't talk about when I'm dating someone. I don't put 1007 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,200 Speaker 1: that on the internet because he didn't sign up for that. 1008 00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:27,280 Speaker 1: And I don't talk about breakups right when they happen. 1009 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,120 Speaker 1: I usually give it a little bit of time and 1010 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,160 Speaker 1: I'm not saying who I'm crushing on when I'm crushing on, 1011 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:36,160 Speaker 1: you know. And so there's a lot that stays really private. 1012 00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:40,600 Speaker 1: But the conversations about how do you maneuver being a Christian, 1013 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 1: unmarried and twenty twenty five that wants to follow God 1014 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:49,200 Speaker 1: but has desires that are not met? I'm living that 1015 00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:50,200 Speaker 1: in front of our friends. 1016 00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:54,160 Speaker 3: So do you I know you've thought about this, but 1017 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:56,439 Speaker 3: if you did, then Lord Wills and you meet somebody 1018 00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,279 Speaker 3: and you get engaged, you can let a lot of 1019 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,880 Speaker 3: people down in a way, you know, I know. 1020 00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,560 Speaker 1: Do you know We've had like business meetings about this, 1021 00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:09,479 Speaker 1: as you can imagine, We've had like what happens when 1022 00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,759 Speaker 1: this isn't anti story anymore? And I think about that too, 1023 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:18,040 Speaker 1: is what happens when people So I'll back up and 1024 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,400 Speaker 1: tell you a quick story from August. 1025 00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:20,959 Speaker 2: Of twenty four. 1026 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:26,840 Speaker 1: I wrote a advent series for our for my audience. 1027 00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:30,480 Speaker 1: It kind of leaned on singleness. It was called Stay Tuned, 1028 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:34,360 Speaker 1: an Advent for those who are already waiting, And so 1029 00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:38,160 Speaker 1: I worked on it and I was just spitting vinegar 1030 00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:39,680 Speaker 1: mad that I was having to do it. You know, 1031 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,520 Speaker 1: August is so gross and it's so hot. 1032 00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,360 Speaker 2: Sure, and You're just like, don't You're not happy about anything? 1033 00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:46,440 Speaker 1: And I was so I just kept saying, Lord, why 1034 00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,440 Speaker 1: are you making me do this? Like why am I 1035 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,799 Speaker 1: the one who has to write an advent for single people? 1036 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,239 Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. You know, I was kind of just 1037 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 2: complaining to Lord. 1038 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,520 Speaker 1: Sure and I and the thing I felt the Lord 1039 00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,920 Speaker 1: say is this won't be your season forever now two 1040 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,040 Speaker 1: your old Annie would say to Granger, that means I'm 1041 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:03,840 Speaker 1: getting married, And that's not what it means. 1042 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:04,680 Speaker 2: Here's what it means. 1043 00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:08,200 Speaker 1: It means I get married, it means I die, or 1044 00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,840 Speaker 1: it means Jesus comes back, and any of those three 1045 00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:15,600 Speaker 1: things happen, and I lose a percent of the influence 1046 00:51:15,640 --> 00:51:18,239 Speaker 1: I have right now. And when the Lord said that 1047 00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,439 Speaker 1: to me, I said, open up the gates. You put 1048 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,160 Speaker 1: me in any conversation you want to put me in. 1049 00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,839 Speaker 1: If you are telling me he knows us so well, 1050 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:27,440 Speaker 1: like he knows. The thing to say to me is like, 1051 00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,600 Speaker 1: this is once in a lifetime are you willing to 1052 00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 1: give up? And once in a lifetime impact? And I 1053 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,080 Speaker 1: was like, no, go okay, put me in the conversations. 1054 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:37,520 Speaker 2: I repent. 1055 00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,640 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, like me, take this conversation wherever you 1056 00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:42,400 Speaker 1: want it to go. I will say whatever you want. 1057 00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:42,640 Speaker 2: Me to say. 1058 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,520 Speaker 1: Now, the flip side that granger is the fear that 1059 00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:47,520 Speaker 1: I've heard in my guts, that is not for me, 1060 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,800 Speaker 1: it's not from the Lord. Is if you talk about 1061 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,760 Speaker 1: being single too publicly, no one's ever. 1062 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:53,799 Speaker 3: Going to marry you. 1063 00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 1: You're gonna stay single forever, because now everybody's watching. And 1064 00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:01,160 Speaker 1: so I hear that whispered in my head. And the 1065 00:52:01,239 --> 00:52:04,799 Speaker 1: thing I know about God is he told me he 1066 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,240 Speaker 1: wanted to wring everything he could out of this season 1067 00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:10,840 Speaker 1: of my life because it will change someday. And so 1068 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,479 Speaker 1: I don't whether that means I don't ever get married 1069 00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,840 Speaker 1: or not, I don't know. But if I can help 1070 00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:20,319 Speaker 1: people who are unmarried to feel seen and cared for, 1071 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,719 Speaker 1: if I can help my married friends to have a 1072 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,320 Speaker 1: peer who is unmarried that they go. Oh, I wonder 1073 00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,719 Speaker 1: if Katie, who babysits for us, ever thinks like what 1074 00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,160 Speaker 1: Annie just said. I'll ask her when she comes on Friday. 1075 00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,600 Speaker 1: Or I wonder if Ben, my little brother Ben that 1076 00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,319 Speaker 1: lives in a different city, I never talked to him 1077 00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,080 Speaker 1: about his singleness. I wonder if I should ask him 1078 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,040 Speaker 1: if he wants me to set him up with Katie. 1079 00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,960 Speaker 1: I've just you know, like, if I can help married families, 1080 00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:49,960 Speaker 1: married couples have conversations about their theology of singleness and 1081 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,560 Speaker 1: their thoughts about single people, and help single people feel 1082 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:57,319 Speaker 1: seen some point granger, that will change. I will not 1083 00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,799 Speaker 1: have this influence like I do today, and so I 1084 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,080 Speaker 1: want I want it to do as much as God 1085 00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:05,040 Speaker 1: would let it do while it's my season. 1086 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:10,439 Speaker 3: What a beautiful, healthy way to think through that. It's 1087 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:14,839 Speaker 3: so wise of you, and you know that's that's good 1088 00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:19,040 Speaker 3: advice to anyone at any time, that this season will change. 1089 00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:21,959 Speaker 3: That's the one thing we know about seasons. They won't 1090 00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:28,240 Speaker 3: last forever. They never do. And so that that that's 1091 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,640 Speaker 3: such a beautiful thought. And if you did get married, 1092 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,880 Speaker 3: then it's a whole new group of people that would 1093 00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:39,200 Speaker 3: love you. And so say someone's thirty eight and they say, 1094 00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:42,080 Speaker 3: you know, Amy's thirty eight, and they would say, well, 1095 00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,359 Speaker 3: you know any downs she got married at forty six 1096 00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,640 Speaker 3: or whatever, you know, and so right, what hoped it's 1097 00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:50,399 Speaker 3: another it's another vein of hope that you could have 1098 00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,400 Speaker 3: and then you talk through that and that would that 1099 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,200 Speaker 3: would be your new season that you're in. 1100 00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,920 Speaker 1: That's right, And I'll talk about how complicated it is 1101 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,120 Speaker 1: to put together two grown up lives. 1102 00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,359 Speaker 2: Yes, and yeah, what is it like to. 1103 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:04,319 Speaker 1: Have two full lives with friends in a career and 1104 00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,600 Speaker 1: now we're putting them in one house? I mean that 1105 00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,440 Speaker 1: will be what happens is Wait, my nephew Sam facetimes 1106 00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,280 Speaker 1: me every morning. 1107 00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,560 Speaker 2: Is that going to change? Like? I mean this is 1108 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:14,200 Speaker 2: you know, like. 1109 00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:19,840 Speaker 1: There is complication to two forty somethings putting their lives together, 1110 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:23,160 Speaker 1: and there's gifts and people will hopefully get to watch 1111 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:27,640 Speaker 1: all of that or and until that is my story 1112 00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:31,879 Speaker 1: or God does something different, they will watch me live 1113 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,719 Speaker 1: an abundant life in the life He's given me. There's 1114 00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:36,600 Speaker 1: more than one path to abundant life. You can be 1115 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,879 Speaker 1: single or married and have an abundant life. And there 1116 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,520 Speaker 1: are problems I have now that I will not have 1117 00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,600 Speaker 1: when I'm married. And there are problems I'll have when 1118 00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:45,239 Speaker 1: I'm married that I do not have right now. Like 1119 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,239 Speaker 1: no one cares about my money, granger, no one cares 1120 00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:50,279 Speaker 1: how's my time. I am like a free bird, and 1121 00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:52,000 Speaker 1: that will not be true when I'm sharing a house 1122 00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,400 Speaker 1: and a budget and so I recognize there are gifts 1123 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,960 Speaker 1: to this that will change, and I will process as 1124 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,400 Speaker 1: much of that publicly as as the Lord would. 1125 00:54:59,320 --> 00:54:59,640 Speaker 2: Have me do. 1126 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:04,640 Speaker 3: And the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. Jesus says, 1127 00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,680 Speaker 3: I come that they may have life and have it abundantly. 1128 00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:09,960 Speaker 2: That's right. 1129 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:12,440 Speaker 3: He doesn't say for this group of people, or for 1130 00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,160 Speaker 3: this kind of people in this life phase or this 1131 00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:17,719 Speaker 3: only if you're in this season. No, I came that 1132 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:21,120 Speaker 3: they may have life and have it abundantly. That is 1133 00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:23,160 Speaker 3: a beautiful thing. You and I. You know, through this 1134 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,959 Speaker 3: book where did TJ Go? We talk about heaven. There's 1135 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,920 Speaker 3: such great hope in heaven, and amen to that. But 1136 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:33,640 Speaker 3: we could also have life abundantly today in the season 1137 00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:37,520 Speaker 3: we're in today, and you have Yeah, you've gone you 1138 00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,960 Speaker 3: you embody that. It's a beautiful thing to watch. I 1139 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:44,359 Speaker 3: admire that so much. And I also admire that you 1140 00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:48,040 Speaker 3: would take an hour out of your extremely busy day. 1141 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,759 Speaker 3: That you only get one sabbatical per year, and you 1142 00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,080 Speaker 3: choose to give me a sabbatical. 1143 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,279 Speaker 1: Annow, listen, brother, I would not be talking to you 1144 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,560 Speaker 1: if I was on my break it in June. 1145 00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:00,640 Speaker 3: You have stacked up your work and you're you're so 1146 00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:05,400 Speaker 3: you're you're you fruitfully busy. I don't really like the 1147 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:08,160 Speaker 3: word busy. I hate that word. But you're fruitfully busy. 1148 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,360 Speaker 3: And you have given me an hour. So thank you 1149 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:15,120 Speaker 3: so much, Annie. And yeah, I think you have so 1150 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,920 Speaker 3: much wisdom that so many people could hear. So I 1151 00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:18,840 Speaker 3: look forward to seeing you. 1152 00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,839 Speaker 1: Let me share about TJ to all your friends. It 1153 00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,520 Speaker 1: means a lot. Every time I get to talk, you know, 1154 00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:24,960 Speaker 1: and every time we get to talk about. 1155 00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,680 Speaker 2: Him, you remember he's real. And I remember TJ. 1156 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,439 Speaker 1: And so I'm really thankful and I remember River. 1157 00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:34,600 Speaker 3: We will remember him. Amen. One day I will walk 1158 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:38,200 Speaker 3: into the back of a church building and I'll see 1159 00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:43,440 Speaker 3: you and I'll go, oh, you're here, realized. 1160 00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:44,920 Speaker 2: That's exactly right, that's exactly right. 1161 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:48,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, thank you so much and uh see you 1162 00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:53,360 Speaker 3: down the red. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. 1163 00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,880 Speaker 3: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me 1164 00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:59,480 Speaker 3: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, 1165 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,960 Speaker 3: described to this channel, hit that little like button and 1166 00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,840 Speaker 3: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload 1167 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:07,720 Speaker 3: a video