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Speaker 1: Hey, this is any and Samantha.

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Speaker 2: And welcome to stuff I've never told you production. iHeart radio,

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Speaker 2: and today we are so thrilled to be joined by

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Speaker 2: a guest. Despite technology coming in their way, trying to

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Speaker 2: stop us at every turn, it won't stop us. We

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Speaker 2: are so happy to be joined by author, journalists podcaster

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Speaker 2: Meredith Goldstein. Welcome so much, Welcome so much.

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Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. Thank you for letting me

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Speaker 3: reboot my computer fifty times before we started.

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Speaker 2: If that doesn't happen, then it's not a podcast.

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Speaker 4: So all right, true, you know it's gonna be a

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Speaker 4: good episode when it has so many delays.

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Speaker 1: We're just building it up now.

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Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.

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Speaker 3: The anticipation is just, yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's palpable. It's palpable.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, we're so happy to have you. Can you introduce

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Speaker 2: yourself to the audience.

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Speaker 3: Sure.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 3: I have been the advice columnist at the Boston Globe

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Speaker 3: for about fifteen years, which is wild, and I've also

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Speaker 3: written some books. One is about that, and some fiction books.

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Speaker 3: But I am originally basically from Maryland and moved to

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Speaker 3: Boston and have been in Boston so long that I

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Speaker 3: am starting to think like a Boston person, whatever that means.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, and that is my background. And I also

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Speaker 3: host a podcast based on the advice column.

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Speaker 2: Yes Love Letters, and you cover so many interesting topics

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Speaker 2: on there. And I'm very excited to get into this

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Speaker 2: because honestly, I find advice columns in the history of

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Speaker 2: them fascinating. And you have been doing this for a

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Speaker 2: long time. How did you get into being an advice columnist?

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Speaker 3: Well, certainly I did not go to journalism school to

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Speaker 3: be an advice columnist. I don't know what I really thought.

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Speaker 3: I was going to be an arts writer, and my

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Speaker 3: parents were musicians, so I thought, oh, well, I can't

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Speaker 3: play muse well, but maybe i'll be a rock critic.

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Speaker 3: And then I was like, I don't want to go

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Speaker 3: to shows, and I don't want to go to shows

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Speaker 3: I don't like. Our critic at the time took me

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Speaker 3: to like a White Zombie concert and looked at me

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Speaker 3: and said, and I was so miserable, and she said,

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Speaker 3: if you don't like this, this job is not for you.

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Speaker 3: So that was a really good lesson. And I was

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Speaker 3: writing a lot of feature stories about the way we live,

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Speaker 3: which we would have called like a living story of

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Speaker 3: living arts you know, old school media talk, right, And

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Speaker 3: at the time, I mean this sounds so dated, but

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Speaker 3: Facebook was new, at least new for non college students. Texting,

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Speaker 3: I mean, we were still on flip phones. We were

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Speaker 3: in BlackBerry mode. I think we were like coming into

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Speaker 3: the smartphone era, and texting was much more something that

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Speaker 3: you could do without it being rude to do that

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Speaker 3: instead of call, whereas like, of course, you know, in

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty four, if somebody calls me, I'm like, what's wrong,

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Speaker 3: whereas like at that point, I'd be like, you're just

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Speaker 3: going to text me and not call me. So it

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Speaker 3: was just a completely different time, and I was writing

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Speaker 3: a lot of stories about how technology was changing, how

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Speaker 3: we interacted, how the rules had changed, how demographics had changed,

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Speaker 3: all from that sort of feature perspective, and that led

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Speaker 3: me into thinking, well, the globe is, you know, in

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Speaker 3: a city that is deeply obsessed with itself. What if

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Speaker 3: Boston had its own advice columnist? And of course at

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Speaker 3: that point, the Internet was even newer, so it didn't

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Speaker 3: occur to me that people were going to write in

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Speaker 3: from all over despite the fact that we were very

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Speaker 3: much Boston. And same with the podcast. It's like podcast

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Speaker 3: listeners know I'm sitting in Boston, but they come from everywhere,

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Speaker 3: and it's like nice to know somebody's based somewhere, but

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Speaker 3: we're all having the same discussions. Yes and so so yeah.

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Speaker 3: So basically it's just you know, like people say, are

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Speaker 3: you qualified to do this? Did you get a degree

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Speaker 3: in this? I'm like, no, If I got a degree

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Speaker 3: in this, I would be a therapy. I would not

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Speaker 3: be telling people what to do. And this is just

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Speaker 3: a lot. You know, there's a big historyjournalism of journalists

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Speaker 3: on occasion becoming people who give advice, and it is

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Speaker 3: a I think it's like a nice snapshot of the

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Speaker 3: world we live in. This is always the shtick I

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Speaker 3: give to newspaper editors or media company editors who are like,

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Speaker 3: why are we spending money on this or why are

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Speaker 3: we devoting any resources to this? And I will tell them,

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Speaker 3: if you want a time capsule of history, go to

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Speaker 3: the advice column in whatever it was at the time,

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Speaker 3: and you will get a sense of how people lived,

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Speaker 3: not just the news, but how they lived.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we actually not us, but previous hosts did a

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Speaker 4: whole episode on Dear Abby, if I remember correctly, and

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Speaker 4: just kind of the change and shift there was with

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Speaker 4: her work and how significant it really was, especially for

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Speaker 4: women and the culture of women and what they were

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Speaker 4: trying to figure out and who to ask because there

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Speaker 4: was a how much shame and feeling like they may

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Speaker 4: have failed in certain things including love or family and

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Speaker 4: all that, and being able to ask a stranger with

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Speaker 4: a non biased look was a fun penomenon.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's also like when you talk about shame and gender,

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Speaker 3: I would say only recently have I felt that advice

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Speaker 3: columns are getting their due. So this is a thing

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Speaker 3: in a media company that will get consistent readers that

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Speaker 3: make people feel like they're part of a community. And

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Speaker 3: even ten years ago or so, or certainly when I started,

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Speaker 3: it was like silly to some people. And I'm not

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Speaker 3: saying it's the same as our Spotlight team after, you know,

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Speaker 3: for which they made a movie about, right, But I

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Speaker 3: am saying, we don't do this with sports, right as

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Speaker 3: far as I'm concerned as a non sports person, Every

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Speaker 3: year a baseball team plays in Boston, and they might win,

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Speaker 3: and they might lose, and they might change their personnel,

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Speaker 3: but it's the same and it's a hobby, and that

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Speaker 3: there is a financial world behind it that is deeply important,

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Speaker 3: and people feel a spiritual loyalty in certain ways, and

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Speaker 3: those are the reasons it's interesting. But I can say

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Speaker 3: the same of advice columns and the industry of relationships.

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Speaker 3: So why someone an editor might I roll advice column

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Speaker 3: versus a sports column. There should be down difference, but

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Speaker 3: there is, and that's because of gender and who traditionally

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Speaker 3: is interested in this topic. But the good news is

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Speaker 3: is I feel like in the past five years or so,

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Speaker 3: I think that has changed where you know, money talks

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Speaker 3: and you know, let's be honest, like a demographic of

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Speaker 3: buying people is women of a certain age, and suddenly

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Speaker 3: it's like, well, everybody likes to make money and get

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Speaker 3: and get audience. So suddenly like it's not the worst thing,

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Speaker 3: you know, It's like, oh, well, what if we don't

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Speaker 3: belittle this, so we're getting there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And one thing that I've found really interesting when

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Speaker 2: I was reading up about you in the non creepy

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Speaker 2: work way, is that something you spoke to is you know,

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Speaker 2: we've struggled with this too. Sometimes you feel like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm not qualified to do something, and I know when

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Speaker 2: you like pitch the idea you were going through sort

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Speaker 2: of a rough time in your life of you know,

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Speaker 2: going through breakup yourself, and I thought it was interesting.

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Speaker 2: It was a quote from your memoir I believe about

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Speaker 2: your friends saying, you know, when people look down on

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Speaker 2: the grief you feel when you have a breakup, like

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Speaker 2: people don't take that very seriously, but it is a

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Speaker 2: real pain. And I thought it was sort of a

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Speaker 2: profound thing of someone choosing not to have you in

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Speaker 2: their life anymore, and that is really painful. So how

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Speaker 2: have people outside given you advice that has maybe shaped

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Speaker 2: what you've done, and just how have you come to

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Speaker 2: terms with you know, sometimes it's hard to take your

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Speaker 2: own advice. Sometimes you might not have the answer.

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Speaker 3: I think the readers and the letter writers themselves have

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Speaker 3: taught me so much because we're not supposed to know

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Speaker 3: the answers all the time, and we're also not supposed

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Speaker 3: to tell people what to do, which is I think

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Speaker 3: really important to say, because even though I'm in advice

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Speaker 3: and I am more likely to give a definitive what

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Speaker 3: if you tried this, when we give advice in our

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Speaker 3: real lives, we don't Actually we should not say do

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Speaker 3: this if you are saying that to a friend or

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Speaker 3: family member, a loved one, do this, you are doing

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Speaker 3: it wrong. And it's so much about listening and asking

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Speaker 3: questions and helping someone get to a conclusion and telling

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Speaker 3: them what you might notice in them and how they're

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Speaker 3: prioritizing sharing information or not sharing information. And you're never

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Speaker 3: going to escape that process when you're making a difficult

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Speaker 3: decision for dealing with change. So I think it's it's

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Speaker 3: you know, I had to accept pretty quickly in this

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Speaker 3: that I've never been married, i have been dumped, I've

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Speaker 3: never been a parent. That does not mean I can't

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Speaker 3: help people who are going through things that I've never

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Speaker 3: been through, and vice versa. You're talking about dear Abby.

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Speaker 3: You know Anne Landers to her sister, which they notoriously

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Speaker 3: did not get along. And I'm an Anne Landers girl

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Speaker 3: for a number of reasons, one of which is that

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Speaker 3: I'm friends with her daughter, who also became an advice calumnist.

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Speaker 3: But she was married like four times, and so you

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Speaker 3: could say, well, you kept getting a divorce, what do

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Speaker 3: you know? What do you know about? But her experiences

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Speaker 3: shape her how she sees the world, and I've always

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Speaker 3: seen that as this is a person who knew when

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Speaker 3: to leave. And this is a person you know. I

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Speaker 3: think when you're younger, or when you haven't thought about

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Speaker 3: it a lot, you're sort of thinking, oh, well, success

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Speaker 3: looks like this. Failure looks like this, And that's just

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Speaker 3: something I had to take out of the equation that

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Speaker 3: there is no relationship failure. There's no I mean, certainly

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Speaker 3: you can fail someone, but there's no one doing it

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Speaker 3: right and doing it wrong. And there's absolutely no one

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Speaker 3: who doesn't have to ask a lot of questions. So

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Speaker 3: I think the readers in asking their questions, even when

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Speaker 3: they're so smart and know exactly what to do the

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Speaker 3: processing of it, I'm like, oh, well, I'm allowed to

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Speaker 3: process it too, And they have made me much have

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Speaker 3: a lot more confidence about, well, I'm going to try

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Speaker 3: this in my own life and if it doesn't work,

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Speaker 3: that's okay, Like we'll all be okay, hopefully hopefully.

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Speaker 2: Well, you were talking earlier about like texting and the

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Speaker 2: internet when you first started. I saw recently you wrote

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Speaker 2: a piece on AI and like, what's going on there? So,

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Speaker 2: how over the length of time you've been doing this,

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Speaker 2: how have you seen the landscape change?

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Speaker 3: It's so radical in terms of the difference. First of all,

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Speaker 3: back in the day, it would have been rude to

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Speaker 3: ask somebody out by text fifteen years ago, like that

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Speaker 3: would have been weird and you wouldn't even be sure

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Speaker 3: that the text got there. But like ten years ago

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Speaker 3: it might have been rude once again, Like now it

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Speaker 3: seems invasive to make phone calls unless that's something scheduled

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Speaker 3: ahead of time. There's almost like a consent neated of

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Speaker 3: like what if I called you know, and certainly FaceTime.

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Speaker 3: And remember the first letter I received from someone who

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Speaker 3: had met someone by sliding into their DMS on Instagram.

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Speaker 3: We did not call it that. Then they were like

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Speaker 3: they messaged me on Instagram, and I was like, what

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Speaker 3: a weird stockery thing to do? Like I was just

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Speaker 3: like floored by the idea that some stranger would enter

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Speaker 3: your direct messages in your social media account. Now that's

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Speaker 3: like obviously right, like this is a thing that happens.

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Speaker 3: I am often asked when I talk to people, is

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Speaker 3: all of this technology good or bad? Like there's this

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Speaker 3: black and white wave thinking about has it improved our

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Speaker 3: lives or made our lives terrible? And of course it's

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Speaker 3: middle right, Like you know, when My late mother was

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Speaker 3: younger and single after her divorce, she could have used internet,

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Speaker 3: like in the world to find people outside of her

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Speaker 3: own community. She didn't have that. We didn't have that.

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Speaker 3: So the minute there were online dating websites, her world

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Speaker 3: got so much bigger and so much less lonelier, you know,

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Speaker 3: just to know what else was out there. On the

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Speaker 3: other hand, sometimes I'm sitting in a bar and everybody's

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Speaker 3: on their phones and I'm like super bummed about the

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Speaker 3: lack of like paying attention that we do. So it's both,

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Speaker 3: but it is. I would never say it's bad, and

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Speaker 3: I would also say that I would take the bigger

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Speaker 3: world even despite all the catfishing, despite all the nonsense.

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Speaker 3: It's like nonsense in a different place. Dating is hard,

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Speaker 3: It's going to be nonsense wherever you go. But you're

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Speaker 3: kind of looking for those great experiences, whether it's at

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Speaker 3: a crowded bar party, on a website, on an app.

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Speaker 3: It's like kind of all just looking for needles in haystacks.

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Speaker 3: So we might as well have different options.

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Speaker 4: Right, Like, the methods have changed, but the results are similar.

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Speaker 3: The results kind of are similar, and I think the

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Speaker 3: perception is similar to like people romanticize these organic meat cutes,

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Speaker 3: right you see in movies of running into and like

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Speaker 3: I will always say to people like, what are the

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Speaker 3: what are the odds that you're going to meet someone

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Speaker 3: on an app that you like? If you do, that

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Speaker 3: is the romantic the most romantic thing I've ever heard

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Speaker 3: in my life. The happenstance of that is incredible, And

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Speaker 3: it is basically the equivalent of an Ane Hathaway character

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Speaker 3: getting into a cab and somebody getting in from the

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Speaker 3: other Meg Ryan character like getting in from the other side,

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Speaker 3: and you're like, ooh, we're sharing a cab now, Like

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Speaker 3: that is the same, the same level of I can't

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Speaker 3: believe this happened, whereas like meeting somebody through a friend

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Speaker 3: is actually like kind of obvious to me, like it

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Speaker 3: might happen, it might not. But when people get worried

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Speaker 3: about the narratives of how they met, I'm like, updating

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Speaker 3: is like so complicated that if something comes from that,

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Speaker 3: that's amazing, it's wonderful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I always think about how people don't understand the greater

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Speaker 4: uh not risk, but you're taking a little more of

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Speaker 4: a gamble when you do put yourself out there with

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Speaker 4: an intention versus just happenstance of like, oh okay, this

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Speaker 4: might work, like we have a few things in common. Okay, hey,

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Speaker 4: my I'm so and so your friends and so, you know,

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Speaker 4: like it's it's a little different. But with all of that,

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Speaker 4: obviously you have a plethora of questions and stories and

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Speaker 4: so many things I'm sure under your belt and in

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Speaker 4: your mind.

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Speaker 1: Are there any stories that stand out to you?

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Speaker 3: The stories that stand out tend to be for the podcast,

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Speaker 3: because unlike the letters, where it's a letter and I

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Speaker 3: kind of can't see the person and that's probably for

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Speaker 3: the best, and they're anonymous, these people in the podcast

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Speaker 3: tell these entire stories from start to finish. And I

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Speaker 3: love the breakup stories because often the breakup story is

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Speaker 3: the greatest story ever told to me. I think that's

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Speaker 3: supposed to be the Bible, and they're probably breakup stories

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Speaker 3: of the Bible. But i'mounna say any breakup story is,

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Speaker 3: because often it is lost and then rising like a phoenix.

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Speaker 3: It always there's this hopeful other side of it that

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Speaker 3: should be there, and if it isn't there, we will

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Speaker 3: find it.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 3: And so those are the stories that stick with me

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Speaker 3: about someone telling their story of letting go and then

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Speaker 3: finding something else. I am particularly interested right now, and

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Speaker 3: I think everybody's interested in it in a conversation about

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Speaker 3: polyamory that everybody's having. I think in the media of like, oh,

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Speaker 3: here's this thing, which, by the way, has existed for

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Speaker 3: a really long time and has been practiced for a

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Speaker 3: really long time, and according to all of these media companies,

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Speaker 3: you know, you would think that everyone is in a

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Speaker 3: polyamous relationship and that it's new. But I've had people

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Speaker 3: on the podcast talk about, well, what does that experience

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Speaker 3: look like? And that's really important to me because it

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Speaker 3: can be really confusing and ambiguous for others, but there

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Speaker 3: are lessons from it that can help us navigate our

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Speaker 3: our boring monogamous are basic monogamous relationships like and I

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Speaker 3: think that's important. So I think for me right now,

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Speaker 3: it's like the stories on the podcast of like, I'm

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Speaker 3: not even answering the question these people are answering the

305
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Speaker 3: questions for me, where I'm like, how are you doing

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Speaker 3: this and what have you learned from it? Actually, we've

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Speaker 3: got an episode of the podcast coming up unrelated to

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Speaker 3: bali Emory that is about sports significant others. The wives

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Speaker 3: of famous athletes, and this is something living in Boston

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Speaker 3: where I'm like, where athletes are truly celebrities. And and

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Speaker 3: we'll talk about the Red Sox Wives. The Red Sox

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Speaker 3: Wives attended a fashion show, like they're like like this

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Speaker 3: group that moves around in one pack. And I've always thought, like,

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Speaker 3: how do you keep your identity?

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Speaker 1: Like do you like that?

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Speaker 3: Do you like people call that? I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 3: you know. And talking to some of these people. We

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Speaker 3: talked to someone who is a basketball wife and someone

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Speaker 3: who is a baseball wife, and the story they actually

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Speaker 3: tell is about how to find your own spotlight, how

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Speaker 3: your partner can help you do that, and how to

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Speaker 3: let your partner have the spotlight and how you share

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Speaker 3: and anybody can learn from that. So I was surprised

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Speaker 3: at how much I related to these experiences that are

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Speaker 3: nothing like my own.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it is true. We've had that on here

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Speaker 2: so many times. I remember we did an episode two

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Speaker 2: parter on BDSM and I left like, oh gosh, I

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Speaker 2: can learn so much.

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Speaker 4: Right in this community, Like oh, okay, you're doing this right.

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Speaker 4: We need to learn this be not.

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Speaker 3: A part of the BDSO right, My god, one of

333
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Speaker 3: my first stories at the Globe, and maybe this led

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Speaker 3: me into the work that I do too. Was that

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Speaker 3: people in a smallish town city in southern Massachusetts had

336
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Speaker 3: been arrested at a BDSM party for assault. Basically, from

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00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 3: my memory, law enforcement went in there, saw people looking

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Speaker 3: aggressive with each other and thought bad stuff was going on.

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Speaker 3: Of course, this was all consensual and part of a community.

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Speaker 3: And then of course it was this public shaming of well,

341
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Speaker 3: who was there, who got arrested, who was assaulting? I

342
00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,880
Speaker 3: put that in air quotes other people and I met

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Speaker 3: with this group after and they told me all about

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Speaker 3: their lifestyle. I remember one of the things they did

345
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Speaker 3: was they were showing me sex toys versus things they

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Speaker 3: bought at home depot, and I could absolutely not tell

347
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Speaker 3: the difference. It was just really you know, I was

348
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Speaker 3: probably a twenty five year old reporter at the time,

349
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Speaker 3: and it was or maybe you know, this might have

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Speaker 3: I might have even been younger. This might have even

351
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Speaker 3: been when I was still working in Providence. But all

352
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 3: these stories led me to be really interested in different

353
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Speaker 3: lifestyles and how people how people like to live.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

355
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Speaker 3: So.

356
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Speaker 2: Do you have a general idea of how general topics

357
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Speaker 2: like shake out in terms of frequency, Like I think

358
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Speaker 2: I read somewhere that you At one time, snooping was

359
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Speaker 2: the big thing. People were like writing it about do

360
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Speaker 2: you have an idea about what's going on?

361
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Speaker 3: So yeah, in the beginning when I started the column,

362
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Speaker 3: everybody was snooping. Everybody who wrote in was like, I

363
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Speaker 3: checked my significant others texts or email.

364
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Speaker 1: That definition like what snooping?

365
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Speaker 3: Like they would like like get the code, did their

366
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 3: partner's phone and read text? They would you know, this

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Speaker 3: is less frequent.

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Speaker 5: Now.

369
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Speaker 3: There are a few reasons I think for this. My

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00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 3: guess one is that we have better security, So there's

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00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 3: like a two you know factor authenticate, Like it's just

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Speaker 3: harder to break into people's stuff. And you know, I

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Speaker 3: am absolutely someone who's cell phone, uh like code to

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Speaker 3: get it is my birthday, so everybody, you know, it's

375
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,480
Speaker 3: just amazing to me where I'm like, oh, like this

376
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Speaker 3: is this dummy like has a birth and that's that's

377
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 3: exactly what I chose. But I kind of have nothing

378
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Speaker 3: to hide.

379
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Speaker 1: But one exactly kind of.

380
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Speaker 3: But for me, it's like one one one. Yeah, so

381
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Speaker 3: I think it's harder to do. But the other thing

382
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Speaker 3: I think is that we are able to track each

383
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Speaker 3: other in other ways that we weren't before, So like

384
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Speaker 3: there's too much information. There's like, okay, there are certain

385
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 3: people on social media who might make note of where

386
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Speaker 3: they are, what they're eating, and who they're with throughout

387
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,880
Speaker 3: a day. So I think there's this thought of well,

388
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 3: I'm probably gonna know anyway, or maybe it's the absence

389
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Speaker 3: of information that is making me not trust this person.

390
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 3: Not information. It's like, well, where were you from seven

391
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,919
Speaker 3: to nine? There was no like Instagram story then, there

392
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 3: was no real then, So I think it's just like

393
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 3: and I think people are exhausted and snooping is hard.

394
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 3: I mean, it still happens, but it's not with the frequency.

395
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Speaker 3: Like I felt like every letter writer back then was

396
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 3: like I did this, and then it became this conversation

397
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:33,919
Speaker 3: of like, which is worse right, the fact that you

398
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 3: snooped finding whatever you found. I'm assuming there were so

399
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 3: many people who did snoop and found nothing that never

400
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 3: wrote to me. So I just feel like it was

401
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,959
Speaker 3: probably pretty like a systemic problem in society at the time. Now,

402
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 3: I think, you know, dating fatigue was happening before COVID,

403
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 3: so like right before COVID, everybody was like, I can't

404
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 3: keep doing this. I can't keep doing like I am

405
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,479
Speaker 3: doing this. It feels like work. It feels like a job.

406
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 3: I feel like when I'm not I'm missing my soulmates,

407
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 3: but when I am swiping, I'm not seeing my soulmates.

408
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 3: And I it is this labor and it's exhausting and that,

409
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,439
Speaker 3: and then COVID happened, and it was obviously this like

410
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 3: tragedy around the world. And yet I would hear from

411
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 3: people who'd be like, well, at least I am given

412
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 3: permission to just sit with this. And everybody who's single

413
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 3: is just gonna be single right now, and everybody who's

414
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 3: not is not. And I also think it gave single

415
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 3: people a chance to really think about what it would

416
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 3: feel like to be coupled or have partners at all.

417
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Speaker 3: In that moment. I mean, I was somebody who in

418
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Speaker 3: twenty twenty was single and living alone was like, oh

419
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Speaker 3: my god. Like people would call and be like, are

420
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 3: you okay? You're alone, and I'm like, yeah, I'm alone.

421
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 3: It's so hard with my TV and my kettle coren

422
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 3: that got delivered to me and my I mean, I

423
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 3: was very lucky. I remained employed. I was doing work,

424
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 3: but I was not lonely, and I felt bad for

425
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 3: everyone else. It also felt like the safest thing that

426
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,919
Speaker 3: I you know, I felt incredibly privileged to live alone

427
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 3: and not have to, you know, worry about anybody coming.

428
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 3: So then it was the COVID era of I know,

429
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 3: my husband's going to the grocery store without a mask.

430
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 3: I know it. And like those letters where it was

431
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 3: just negotiating safety, negotiating you know, who, do we allow

432
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 3: someone to come over who's not vaccinated? Do we like?

433
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 3: Letters about really really complicated negotiations. And I remember asking

434
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Speaker 3: a sex writer about this, because the negotiation of polyamory

435
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 3: and open relationships and just consent in general could could

436
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 3: be useful all of a sudden in conversations about who

437
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 3: do we let in the house, what do we tell

438
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 3: each other? What is the protection we need? Like it

439
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 3: felt parallel in these weird ways. Now, I think people

440
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,879
Speaker 3: are just tired and confused, and sometimes they're really happy,

441
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 3: but they're like, I don't have to do anything any

442
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 3: particular way. Not everybody feels that way, but a lot

443
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 3: of people do, so like that's amazing, but it also

444
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 3: brings up well, then what do I want to do?

445
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 3: You know, like do I want do I want to

446
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,639
Speaker 3: get married? Do I want to be looking to it?

447
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 3: I think we're not going to know for a long

448
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 3: time what this pandemic did to us emotionally, but I

449
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 3: think for a lot of people that reset their obligations.

450
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 3: I mean, certainly we saw that with people quitting jobs,

451
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 3: with people moving, but I think in relationships it was like, well,

452
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 3: you know, this was following a path for a reason,

453
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: and what if everything just got like put into an

454
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 3: edge of sketch and like shake it up?

455
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 4: I mean yeah, I think the pandemic really chilled a

456
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 4: lot of people that either you're really great at being

457
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 4: alone and this is fine, or you're really suffering and

458
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 4: you have to fix things immediately when you can. So

459
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 4: I feel like it's definitely like highlighted what is something

460
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 4: that you can and can't do?

461
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: For me, I figured out I really like being alone.

462
00:23:58,119 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: We don't need the gas.

463
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 3: I mean, like I started seeing someone after that after

464
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 3: realizing I like to be alone. You know, you've got

465
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 3: to mess things up?

466
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: What do I have to be? Let's try this right?

467
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 4: Which I like, you know, and I think it's really

468
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 4: interesting because if you've as you've been doing this for

469
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: a while now, and you've changed even yourself your medium

470
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 4: a little bit. I know you're doing both still, but

471
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 4: like coming from writing and printing to podcasting and having

472
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 4: conversations with people and getting a bigger view and a

473
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 4: bigger like stories, I guess do you feel like I'll say, like,

474
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 4: as a podcaster, I came from like one field to

475
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,719
Speaker 4: this field and feeling like I'm learning so many different

476
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 4: things that I'm like, oh, this is a different perspective. Okay,

477
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 4: I'm gonna learn it this way. I'm gonna take this in.

478
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 4: Do you feel like some of these things have helped

479
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 4: you personally or I changed your perspectives?

480
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 3: My perspective is like in a yes, especially you know

481
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,479
Speaker 3: with the podcast, like yeah, yeah, I mean my like,

482
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 3: I don't even know. I think when I started the column,

483
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 3: I had a pretty big chip on my shoulder about

484
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 3: being single, like I I chose it. I mean, it's

485
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 3: not like bazillion people were asking to be my significant other,

486
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,199
Speaker 3: but it felt like I also knew I wasn't trying,

487
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 3: but it felt like a lifestyle choice and it felt

488
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 3: like one And I think this is a common thing

489
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 3: to feel when other people are coupling up all around you,

490
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 3: where I was like, I'm doing it on my own.

491
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 3: I went to Ikia by myself. I pay for it,

492
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 3: but like, I'm figuring out a way to do this

493
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 3: and it feels important. And it was and it was,

494
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 3: but there was a level of bravery I attached to it,

495
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 3: and it is real, but I was discounting the bravery

496
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 3: of my friends who were coupled or in whatever relationship

497
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 3: they were in. As I got older and talked to

498
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 3: more people and did more of the column and then

499
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 3: with the podcast, I saw how much negotiation that took,

500
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 3: and how much self awareness it took, and how much

501
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 3: accountability took when you're really kind of only accountable to

502
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 3: yourself and to the people around you when you see

503
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 3: them and not in a partnered relationship. It's fine and

504
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 3: it's great, and it does take bravery to do that,

505
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 3: but after a while you get really good at it.

506
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 3: And I took no bravery at all. It was like

507
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,679
Speaker 3: it felt again. Covid told me that I was like,

508
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 3: this is so deeply easy that maybe I could challenge myself.

509
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 3: And I think I would not have that perspective if

510
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 3: it weren't for the column and in the podcast.

511
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.

512
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of the podcast, let's talk about that for

513
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: a second. You've also been doing that for a while.

514
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 2: What made you decide to take this these letters and

515
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: try doing it in a podcast form?

516
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 6: Well?

517
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 3: This was interesting, so I would say I did not

518
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 3: I did not want The owner of the Globe was like,

519
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 3: can you make this a podcast too? That seems to be.

520
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 1: A thing I want to right.

521
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, but I did not listen to

522
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 3: podcasts really, and I did not want to do just

523
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 3: let's talk about a letter, because I you know, Cheryl

524
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 3: Strade was doing that, and I was like, she's famous.

525
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,200
Speaker 3: Like I didn't want to do a thing that somebody

526
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 3: else was doing in a way that already existed and

527
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,199
Speaker 3: existed well. And also I didn't know that I had

528
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 3: that much more to say about the letters in particular

529
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 3: than what I had answered. But I did miss as

530
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 3: a journalist interviewing people, and I remember saying, as somebody

531
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 3: who was not listening to podcasts, had never listened to Cereal,

532
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 3: saying to the people at the Globe, I want to

533
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,120
Speaker 3: be the Ceial of breakups And they said, what does

534
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: that mean? And I said, I don't even know because

535
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 3: I had not listened. I knew, I knew what it was.

536
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 3: But what I said to them was I want to

537
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,919
Speaker 3: have people tell their own stories that can help other people.

538
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 3: And every season I want to have a theme, and

539
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 3: that is what we've done so far, and they're short

540
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 3: seasons with one thing. So the first season was breakups,

541
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 3: and I was like, I want people to be able

542
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 3: to listen to eight episodes and have it as a

543
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 3: handy guide that they can tune into whenever they get

544
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 3: dumped or break up with somebody. And that whole season

545
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 3: it was people telling stories. You know. We had one

546
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 3: story I loved about a woman whose ex boyfriend was

547
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 3: following her, still connect to her, to her on Venmo

548
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:27,919
Speaker 3: and talk about technology and had driven himself into a

549
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 3: panic watching what she was paying people for shows up

550
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 3: at her doorstep. But is like, I know you have

551
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 3: a new boyfriend. I can't deal with it, and she's like,

552
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 3: I don't. And long story short, she's in a running

553
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 3: club and was paying somebody every Sunday for like the

554
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 3: excent which she had after the run, the guy who

555
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: brought the credit card.

556
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 6: But it was like that.

557
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 3: In that episode, it was the lesson about like, well,

558
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 3: let's be careful of the stories we tell and the

559
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 3: narratives we tell as we try to get over this,

560
00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 3: because we can get to a place where we're like, oh,

561
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 3: I know everything's falling apart and like this person has

562
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 3: already moved on and I was never important to them,

563
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 3: and that wasn't the case obviously, but through these stories, yeah,

564
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 3: like I feel like it's a pretty good It goes

565
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 3: from well do you have to get under someone to

566
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 3: get over someone? Like that's episode one to I believe

567
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 3: what our finale was about, like can you be friends

568
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 3: with some How can you be friends with someone after

569
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 3: a breakup? When is it appropriate? When is it not appropriate?

570
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 3: And the next season was about how to meet someone?

571
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 3: And the next season was about how do you know

572
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 3: some of these bigger questions? And we had a season

573
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 3: about money, so where you know. One of my favorite

574
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 3: episodes is someone talking about their husband's secret thirty thousand

575
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 3: dollars of credit card debt and how they survived that.

576
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 3: And what was amazing was I said, oh, it's only

577
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 3: thirty thousand dollars and the person said, that tells me

578
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 3: a lot about you, which is not that I have,

579
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 3: there's thirty thousand dollars to pay up a credit card debt,

580
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 3: but the fact that I wasn't. My thought was at

581
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 3: least it's not one hundred thousand dollars. And they were like,

582
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 3: how much credit card debt do you have? But it's

583
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 3: so interant you tell on yourself right where I'm like, oh, well,

584
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: thirty thousand dollars you could probably get at over the

585
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 3: course of your life, whereas like there were two hundred

586
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 3: thousand dollars. Maybe I don't know it was it was

587
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 3: really it exposed doing that season, like even our producers

588
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 3: like what we how we felt about money? By the

589
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 3: way that the person it is the first episode of

590
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 3: that season, and part of the thirty thousand dollars of

591
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 3: credit card debt was LARPing paraphernalia purchased, So it's never

592
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 3: it's never what you think right where it was like

593
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 3: is it? What was it?

594
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 5: Was it?

595
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 3: And and then it was like, well a sword, an

596
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 3: elf costume, it's like But another episode from that season

597
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: was about a woman tells us two people tell a

598
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 3: story about why getting a prenup was the most romantic

599
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 3: thing they ever did, and they talk about their courtship

600
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 3: and just like now they have. They both come from

601
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 3: you know, pasts where there was trust broken and now

602
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 3: they basically can show up every day saying we could

603
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 3: leave at any moment and be okay. We would be okay,

604
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 3: which means that when we show up every day, it's

605
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 3: because we want to, it's not because we have to.

606
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 3: And they really get into that. And so like I

607
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: have found that the best advice does not come for

608
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 3: me at all. It's just like me asking these people

609
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 3: how they got there to whatever conclusion they got to.

610
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 3: So yeah, so that with the podcast, like I would

611
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 3: have never thought, you know, in twenty eighteen when we

612
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 3: started it, it would become like my precious gem of

613
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 3: like the work I do, and you would probably not

614
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 3: be surprised, but then you're like, oh, you get to

615
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 3: hear people and they tell you these things and then

616
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 3: you get to apply those things to your life. So

617
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 3: I'm really grateful that, you know, the owner said go

618
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 3: do this thing, because then I got to go do that.

619
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 5: Right.

620
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Are you an extrovert?

621
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 4: Because I feel like I don't know, Meredith, because you

622
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 4: sound like me, but then also not me.

623
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 3: I don't I'm not an extrovert. I am an extroverted introvert.

624
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 2: Thing like that.

625
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 3: I mean, I I bet I need to power down

626
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 3: a lot.

627
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: You're an ambil art, Is that what that is?

628
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 3: Yeah? I when I'm on, I'm on, and I have

629
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 3: a friend who says, you've always got two hours in you,

630
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 3: and then it's just it's the button is Then they

631
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 3: were done. They were And actually that's actually probably a

632
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 3: great for recording podcasts, where the lead up and the

633
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 3: coming down with that and then we're done.

634
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 4: So you got about thirty more and more minutes if

635
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 4: you want. I'm just gonna try. We're gonna use it

636
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 4: up before your next one. We're like, yeah, we did it.

637
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 2: Sorry, you can't have it.

638
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 4: I asked this because it sounds like me as well

639
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 4: as like I love being alone, but these conversations are amazing,

640
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 4: and I want to have these conversations.

641
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: Because they do teach you so much.

642
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 4: I joked when I first started podcasting about how I'm

643
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 4: just here to make friends because I'm alone. This is

644
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 4: like I'm gonna make friends, like make them be my

645
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,239
Speaker 4: friend by talking to me for an hour about all

646
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 4: of their knowledge.

647
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: Like that's the way. That's the way I feel like it, and.

648
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 4: You know, it sounds like again we have a similar

649
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 4: you and any more so than me because I've made

650
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 4: a four myself onto a podcast. That's where she was

651
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 4: told to do a podcast as well. But how has

652
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 4: this podcasting world been treating you so far?

653
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 3: I mean I doing the podcast and having to do

654
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 3: some navigating about like what that world is has also

655
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 3: been wonderful, and it's interesting. I don't listen to podcasts generally,

656
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 3: they're a lot like mine. I'm a big rewatcher of

657
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 3: shows with the shows I love, and so this idea

658
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 3: that there are podcasts out there that are and I

659
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 3: tend not to love the ones with the stars of

660
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: the show rewatching, I'm not really interested in that. What

661
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 3: I want to know is, like I listened to a

662
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 3: Vampire Diaries podcast called the Empire Diaries AMP and that

663
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 3: was like my parasocial relationship like during twenty twenty, where

664
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 3: you know, it's like women who are a lot younger

665
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 3: than me experiencing a show I experienced when I was

666
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 3: older than them, and like or I listened to a

667
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 3: Buffy the Vampire Slayer podcast Sligher Fast ninety where they're

668
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 3: just like going and now they're going through the magicians, right,

669
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 3: and I'm like, okay, Like, so I have found the

670
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 3: world as a listener to it's like, what a what

671
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 3: a cure for loneliness to just hear people who could

672
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,239
Speaker 3: be your friends talking. I mean, I know there's some

673
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 3: parasocial weirdness with that too, but whatever, it's fine. And

674
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 3: I'm sure people have that with my podcast, and people

675
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 3: have it with your podcast certainly, right of like these

676
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: are my friends and now and and I know them

677
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 3: and and and in some ways they're right and but

678
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 3: that's the part of it I really like of just

679
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 3: I think you don't get that necessarily always with a

680
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 3: column or with something you read, but there's no matter

681
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 3: the format. Like so it's it's been nice to be

682
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 3: on both sides of that as both the listener of

683
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 3: podcasts and a maker.

684
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 4: Now I have to ask, and I feel like this

685
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 4: is going to be an obvious question, so please don't

686
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 4: hate me. Because there was an article that popped up

687
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 4: about you being the actual Carrie Bradshaw and we have

688
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,760
Speaker 4: done a full on rewatch of Sex in the City

689
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,840
Speaker 4: and we also did laugh about the fact that she

690
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 4: jumped from the newspaper to podcasting world herself. Of course

691
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 4: her podcasting world's like, that's not that's that's really so.

692
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 3: My my biggest professional sin is that I have not

693
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 3: watched the reboot and I will one day. I was

694
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 3: waiting for a really big snowstorm at Boston and then

695
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 3: it never happened. So there's It's funny because if you,

696
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 3: I think, if you google my name and Cary Bradshaw,

697
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 3: there's one headline that's like, she's the Carrie Bradshaw Boston,

698
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 3: and the next headline is She's no Carrie Bradshaw. And

699
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 3: of the two, I think number two is I'm no

700
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 3: Carrie Bradshaw. I rewatched that show and I'm like, what

701
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 3: a selfish.

702
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 6: Weird person and a villain.

703
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 3: She is a villain. And I remember they sent me

704
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 3: to do a preview of the movie the first Game,

705
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 3: so I got to interview all of these stars, right,

706
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 3: and I remember Sarah Jessica Parker saying, I would be

707
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 3: scared to death of this part. Like she said to me,

708
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 3: like I would not. I am not this person, And

709
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 3: she actually said that of all of them, Christian Davis,

710
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 3: her lifestyle was the most most like Carry Bradshaw in

711
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 3: that I think at that point she was single. She's like, listen,

712
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 3: I'm married to Matthew Brogbrick and I have kids. And

713
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 3: I like, like, I am not. This is a person

714
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:10,879
Speaker 3: I can't access and I might be frightened of her.

715
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 3: And that made me feel a little better. And that

716
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 3: was actually I think I did that story, maybe even

717
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,919
Speaker 3: before I was reading to column. But yeah, no, that's

718
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:24,839
Speaker 3: not it, I hope. But but but I think, you know,

719
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 3: media comes back around again, right, you love it and

720
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 3: then you're like cringed, like it's super cringey, and then

721
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 3: you come back to it and you say, you know what.

722
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 3: The episode where she registers for shoes is pretty great

723
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 3: because I remember being in that moment of I can't

724
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,839
Speaker 3: keep celebrating everybody else all the time. I and I

725
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 3: have heard right that her of course she goes to

726
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,120
Speaker 3: a podcast, right, which is great, which.

727
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, yeah, of course they jumped into this,

728
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,959
Speaker 4: and I'm like, but look, I guess it happens after listen.

729
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 3: I've been shown I have been shown clips of her

730
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 3: reading like ads and I I have read and ads

731
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,359
Speaker 3: ads before, which is like a luxury to read an

732
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,919
Speaker 3: ad right in some ways, But it is that I

733
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 3: have enjoyed that clip. I hope I am a Nanne

734
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 3: Landers of Boston and new media. You think about how

735
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 3: old and not carry Brutch although it is amazing. On

736
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 3: some episodes, I will say I can't help, but wonder,

737
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 3: and you know, we'll say, oh, I couldn't help, but wonder.

738
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 3: Or I have an ex boyfriend who used to do

739
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 3: impressions of that show and he would just say, meanwhile,

740
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 3: mid Downtown, that was it, that was all over. But

741
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 3: he had only heard it in the background and he'd say, meanwhile,

742
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 3: see this amount that was going to get.

743
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 2: Up to yees.

744
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 4: And this is why I'm like, I feel like we

745
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 4: need to have you back on, because that's what we do.

746
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 4: Part of what we do is to do and we

747
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 4: watch and sometimes we have guests. I'm like, I want

748
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 4: to have you on as a guest because I need

749
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 4: you to know that, like I would need the like

750
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 4: what the hell is this?

751
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:59,240
Speaker 3: Like what I have read romance novels about advice columnists,

752
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 3: which I love because they're always like some weird thing

753
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,839
Speaker 3: of oh, like you fall in love with your letter

754
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 3: writer and like that's it's never that's never happened. Oh yeah,

755
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 3: there was. I will try to find it, but I

756
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 3: always want to know, like, what are the depictions of

757
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 3: advice columnists? I rewatched Original Charms not long ago, and

758
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 3: you know, Phoebe becomes an advice columnist.

759
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:22,959
Speaker 6: And then dates and then dates the publisher of her newspaper,

760
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,720
Speaker 6: who is Eric Dane or whoever. It's like, it doesn't

761
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 6: make any sense, but I love that too, right, And

762
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 6: I love that she's doing it on a show that

763
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,360
Speaker 6: I adore but makes no sense, but because she's an EmPATH,

764
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 6: because she has like a magical empathic ability to sense

765
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 6: what people need to hear. So I love fictional depictions

766
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 6: of advice givers. They are hilarious.

767
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, for us, it's like watching podcasters and were like,

768
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 4: that's not how.

769
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 2: You so, because we don't get to criticize stuff like

770
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 2: that often. But I like it when I'm finally able

771
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 2: to be the one that's that's not how it works.

772
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 3: I mean, I do, I have not I'm not caught

773
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 3: up with only murders in the building, but I do

774
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 3: remember something in that first season of Somebody in a

775
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 3: Closet and I was like, well, at least they're in

776
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 3: the closet. At least they're like, like we know this

777
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 3: to be the case, right, especially of that era of

778
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 3: like we're just gonna be surrounded by our suits and shirts,

779
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 3: and so I like it when they show.

780
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 4: That coss played behind any But yes, literally that's what

781
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 4: I was thinking about only murdered in the buildings. Because

782
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 4: they do that and then they come out to the stage,

783
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 4: I'm like, wait, what they had it right?

784
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: And then they just left perform.

785
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 4: I guess a lot, and I think podcasting has changed

786
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 4: because we're still in the closet, but I've seen a

787
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 4: lot of the like other podcasts are being all out

788
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 4: in couches, being comfiyed, and I was like, how can

789
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 4: I get there?

790
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 3: Well, it is you know these I have a friend

791
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 3: who is much more into visual podcasts where there's like

792
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 3: a set and they are watching this on YouTube, and

793
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,839
Speaker 3: I think a lot about that. She would always talk

794
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 3: to me about my basement and say, like we could

795
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 3: renovate it to be the set, Like the set what right?

796
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,280
Speaker 3: Like I never thought that I could be like lying

797
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,279
Speaker 3: back in a couch and being like, let me tell

798
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 3: you because because it's not the format of what I do,

799
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 3: so edit it right. So it's but I get it.

800
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:13,399
Speaker 3: But yes, the closet feels I am still we are.

801
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 4: All still in the closet, right, But with all of that,

802
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I had to go in too, Ti, right,

803
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 4: because there's so many good things. But did you have

804
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 4: a learning curve from switching over to print to this

805
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 4: digital media?

806
00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 3: Oh? Yes, yeah. The biggest thing what you have both

807
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 3: experienced intimately now maybe the listener will not know, is

808
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 3: that I have really bad allergies and I blow my

809
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 3: nose a lot. So really, what I I mean, this

810
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 3: is not something that can be helped. But I suppose

811
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,959
Speaker 3: maybe with the right medication it could. But I think

812
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 3: even just treating my voice better, you know, like I

813
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 3: am not adele, and I am not like, oh my

814
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 3: voice is an instrument and I need to hydrate. But actually,

815
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 3: as it turns out, you do need to take care

816
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,760
Speaker 3: of yourself. And I would record something and the producer

817
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 3: would say this sounds terrible, and I'd be like, well,

818
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 3: like stayed up really late and I had a glass

819
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 3: of wine and I didn't drink water, and so really,

820
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 3: just also to start with realizing that it does matter.

821
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,959
Speaker 3: Even if you're not, you know, doing a Vegas show,

822
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 3: you are going to be listened to you know, it

823
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 3: is really being present with interviews despite a lot of

824
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 3: other stuff. I am much more likely to notice that

825
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 3: a refrigerator is buzzing. I am not a big sound

826
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:40,760
Speaker 3: person now I think about it. In fact, I highly recommend.

827
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've seen the documentary The Greatest

828
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: Night and Pop on Netflix. It's about the making of

829
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 3: We Are the World, We Are the Children, and it's wild.

830
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 3: It is a wild documentary about how they put this

831
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 3: together and how you have all these egos in a room,

832
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 3: how do you keep them not fighting? And it's like

833
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: over the night their bo gets and they start to

834
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 3: like go a little biserk. It's it's a very funny,

835
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 3: great documentary. But my favorite part is when Cyndi Lauper

836
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,959
Speaker 3: is like, are people laughing at me? And what she's

837
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 3: hearing is her bracelets and a mic. She's hearing like

838
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 3: a so and of course, now is somebody who does

839
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 3: a podcast? I'm like, oh, like, I'm very aware of

840
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 3: does somebody have is somebody? If you can't see right now,

841
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,439
Speaker 3: I am hitting my Some people talk with their hands

842
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 3: and they hit their legs. So that's really where I'm

843
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 3: just thinking. More like a like a producer. But but

844
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 3: these are not something. But it's the same thing, right

845
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 3: of Like we used to not have to worry about

846
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 3: social media. We just like wrote a column and somebody

847
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 3: hit published. But now it's like, well, who's going to

848
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 3: see it and how are they going to say and

849
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:46,839
Speaker 3: who's going to respond to it?

850
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:53,479
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Oh well, I have to say, as someone

851
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,359
Speaker 2: who has listened to Cereal, you did. You did what

852
00:42:56,440 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 2: you wanted to do. You've accomplished being aerial of.

853
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 3: Get somebody out of jail. I didn't get like a

854
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 3: trial for somebody.

855
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:08,800
Speaker 2: But but you know, yeah, you know, it's just it

856
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 2: sounds great. I love it. The theme. It sounds like

857
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 2: the theme this season is focusing kind of on like

858
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: supporting characters almost like friends or exes or therapists. Do

859
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: you take about that and why that was important to you?

860
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 3: I wanted to do a season about help. I mean,

861
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 3: the whole thing is about help, right, the whole podcast.

862
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 3: But I wanted to talk about where we get help,

863
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 3: so that we know where to look for it, you know,

864
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,839
Speaker 3: learning from other people about like obviously a therapist might

865
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 3: be able to help or but I want to know

866
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 3: how and I want and I also want to know

867
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:44,399
Speaker 3: when it's not helpful. And so I did a call

868
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 3: up for people like what what are your stories of

869
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 3: help and who helped you or what helped you? And

870
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,400
Speaker 3: you know, the answers I got were some of them

871
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 3: were expected, some of them were unexpected. You know, we

872
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: just did most of our episodes, but probably about more

873
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 3: than half are not locally. They're more national. But I

874
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 3: did ask the governor of Massachusetts if she would be

875
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 3: on because she is our first elected woman governor. But

876
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,600
Speaker 3: she's also the first lesbian governor in the country and

877
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 3: she has a very public like romance for that reason,

878
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 3: her partner people are interested. People are mean about it.

879
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 3: People are nice about it, but they're like nosy about it.

880
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 3: And in a way that is totally understandable in a

881
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 3: way like I can't tell you very much about the

882
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 3: past partners of governors in my state, maybe like one

883
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,320
Speaker 3: or two, but like, this is something I think about.

884
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 3: Also because I am aging into her age group, like

885
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 3: she's in her fifties. I'm in my forties, right, So

886
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,759
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to know what it's like

887
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 3: to be like the first lesbian Massachusetts governor, you know what,

888
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 3: and her, so who helps them. Her answer was music.

889
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,239
Speaker 3: It wasn't a person, it wasn't a thing. They go

890
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 3: to a lot of shows. They're big Brandy Carlisle fans.

891
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 3: They do like the Indigo Girls. They did joke about that.

892
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 3: But I you know, for one person or second episode

893
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,240
Speaker 3: of the season, who is a guy who was supposed

894
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 3: to have an arranged marriage and the help was his

895
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 3: dad being like, oh, you're probably not going to do that,

896
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 3: I guess, and it like changed the course of his life,

897
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 3: his dad sort of giving him casual permission to not

898
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:23,560
Speaker 3: assume that had to happen. And now what like now

899
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 3: he can do Now his whole life is different. So

900
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 3: one person talks about getting help from an ex, and

901
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 3: so I really wanted to say, well, like there's so

902
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 3: much negativity, right, like all the people who make life

903
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 3: difficult for us, and all the things, the institutions, the

904
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 3: financial issues that make life difficult for us, who's helping?

905
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 3: What is helping? And I've learned a ton So in

906
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 3: the case of this episode, these episodes with the athletes wives,

907
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 3: I wanted to know who helps them and I got

908
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 3: some interesting answers.

909
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that, And I think something we've been

910
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:05,280
Speaker 2: to talking about throughout this, as you said your column,

911
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 2: your podcast, it's people all over who are reading it

912
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 2: or listening to it, who are commenting and writing in,

913
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 2: and that can be like a really lovely thing. I

914
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 2: know you've talked about after your mom died you kind

915
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 2: of reached out and getting these answers from them. My

916
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 2: dad died during the podcast and I talked about it

917
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,720
Speaker 2: and I got these amazing answers, and it's incredibly lovely.

918
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 2: There's also the dark side of trolls, which I know

919
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 2: you've talked about as well. So what has been your

920
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 2: experience was sort of this like beautiful part and this

921
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:37,319
Speaker 2: ugly part.

922
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 3: It's weird, right, and it's changed so much. I think

923
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 3: I had less troll issues in the beginning, or people

924
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 3: who even when they were being trolley, they didn't think

925
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 3: they weren't trying to be trolley again. It's sort of

926
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 3: like that question of is online dating is apup date

927
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 3: and good or bad. I'm like, it's it's everything right,

928
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 3: and so you're going to get people who are truly

929
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 3: using this connection. We all have to be miserable, and

930
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 3: sometimes it is because they truly believe they have something

931
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 3: to say and that the world has gone wrong for them,

932
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 3: and then you have other people who want to use

933
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 3: it to connect and like, and then now we have

934
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 3: this issue where they might not even be be real people,

935
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,640
Speaker 3: so like that that's something new, where like the troll

936
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 3: might be like a bot coming from some other place,

937
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 3: you know, And so it's really hard. And all I

938
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 3: would tell people is like, you may need to limit,

939
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 3: Like you have to make that choice, right do. I

940
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 3: read the comments today and every now and then I

941
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 3: am delighted by the comments, not just on my column

942
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 3: but on stories recently are probably our most famous sports

943
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 3: columnist had to have heart surgery and he's on medical

944
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 3: leave and we had to report about it because then

945
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 3: we had to say, like, why is this person suddenly absent?

946
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,799
Speaker 3: And he's very controversial in Boston because he'll say mean

947
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 3: things about sports teams or whatever. He you know, I'm

948
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 3: not a sports person.

949
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 5: I don't know.

950
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 3: I love the guy, don't know what he's talking about.

951
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 3: But I was so afraid when I clicked on the comments,

952
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:10,279
Speaker 3: and I did click on the comments, and then some

953
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 3: people were like, I can't stand him. I hope he's

954
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 3: feeling okay.

955
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: Like I always the way I thought was going to go.

956
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 3: No, it was like I hate him and I miss reading,

957
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 3: I miss hating everything he said, and then it would

958
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 3: be like I love him, you know, And it was

959
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 3: it was this moment of hate love this guy. He

960
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 3: is a part of my ritual, and for his sake

961
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 3: and my sake, I can only wish this person the best.

962
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 3: And I think also like when you deal with health,

963
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:42,439
Speaker 3: that's like, no, most people don't wish that on each other.

964
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 3: And and but it was a moment where I was like, wow,

965
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,279
Speaker 3: look at the world not being terrible and so but

966
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 3: but but it was a choice I knew clicking on

967
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 3: that thing. I was like, why am I doing this?

968
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 3: Do I want to do this? I don't know, And

969
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 3: I was delighted. So I think it's just this self

970
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 3: regulation and self protection of like when do you want

971
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,919
Speaker 3: to risk it if you're not seeing what you want

972
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 3: to see, letting you don't have to keep looking and

973
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 3: you can move on to the next thing.

974
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,399
Speaker 2: It's difficult. We've had our struggles for sure.

975
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 5: Yeah.

976
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 2: Well you also are an author. Yes, you've done a

977
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 2: diverse so you've done like a memoir, you have young

978
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:38,280
Speaker 2: adult books, So can you talk about that your works

979
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 2: and how that has been doing all these different things.

980
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've written two young adult books, and I think

981
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 3: that's because, like I think, when you're dealing with relationship issues,

982
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 3: you think about like a lot of the topics of

983
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 3: young adult books. And it's like, there's a lot of

984
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 3: young adult books about death of parents and big relationships

985
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 3: ending and illness. Right, you think about the era of

986
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,439
Speaker 3: the fault in our Stars and and I remember doing

987
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 3: a story for the Globe about like, well, like you know,

988
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,439
Speaker 3: what is this, what is this about? And it's like, well,

989
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,400
Speaker 3: if the authors, if a lot of the authors are

990
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 3: approaching middle age or our middle age, like this is

991
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 3: the stuff they're dealing with in their lives, sick parents,

992
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 3: life changes, and like you're not allowed, at like forty

993
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 3: whatever to do like a primal scream that often at

994
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,400
Speaker 3: least not publicly right, because you're a grown up and

995
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 3: you deal. But as a teenager you can, and you

996
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 3: forget that as an adult you still have first you

997
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 3: have your first loss of a loved one, perhaps if

998
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 3: you haven't already. And I think for me writing two

999
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:47,960
Speaker 3: stories about breakups and grief, you know, losing a loved

1000
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 3: one because they died, and also losing relationships or finding relationships.

1001
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 3: Like the voice seemed really fun to be able to say, like, well,

1002
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 3: at seventeen, I could really scream this out in a

1003
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 3: way that I am doing now, but just no one

1004
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:05,719
Speaker 3: is seeing it. So and so those are that you know,

1005
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,439
Speaker 3: and and the last one is Things that Grow, which

1006
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 3: was really you know, my first young adult book pretends

1007
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 3: to be a book about love that is really about

1008
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 3: the death of a parent. And my second book pretends

1009
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 3: to be about the death of a grandparent, but it's

1010
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 3: really about love and romance. So Things that Grow is

1011
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:26,320
Speaker 3: not a bummer despite being about a grandparent dying. But

1012
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 3: but the memoir was also like the globes Idea. They

1013
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 3: wanted it in the same way they wanted a podcast.

1014
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,360
Speaker 3: They wanted a love letters book, and the publisher said,

1015
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,080
Speaker 3: we don't want a compilation that everything's fringing online, so

1016
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 3: we want a memoir. And I was like, yeah, but

1017
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 3: I'm not that again, nothing to say, But then of

1018
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 3: course you sit down and you do and and so

1019
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 3: it was gave me the chance to talk about, well,

1020
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 3: here's what I was doing while I was pretending I

1021
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 3: had answers for people. You know, my mom was dying.

1022
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:53,600
Speaker 3: I was going through a breakup. I was feeling really

1023
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 3: grateful for my friends. I was watching them date. I

1024
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 3: was evaluating my mom's life a different way, and and

1025
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:08,919
Speaker 3: then matching that with the letters that corresponded to those experiences,

1026
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 3: which I think, you know, I hadn't even realized how

1027
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 3: much they were linked.

1028
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 2: I have to say, I'm connecting so much to you

1029
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 2: right now. We also wrote a book that was not

1030
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 2: our idea. It was great.

1031
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 3: I love what things are in your idea because then

1032
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 3: for somebody else's idea, you're like, well, if it doesn't work,

1033
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 3: it was their idea.

1034
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,479
Speaker 1: This is on them, this is what they wanted. Moving on.

1035
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 3: Their idea. Yeah, but you know, therapeutic.

1036
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 2: To do for sure? Absolutely absolutely, Well again, we would

1037
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 2: love to have you back. Clearly, there's so much we

1038
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 2: could talk about because we're just we could talk so

1039
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 2: much about pop culture. But before you come back, I

1040
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,359
Speaker 2: did want to end with a question because we're about

1041
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 2: to watch Twilight.

1042
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,520
Speaker 1: Twilight, how dare you watch the second one?

1043
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,399
Speaker 2: Okay, so we've got we've got someone who knows about

1044
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 2: it and someone who never has. I don't know anything

1045
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 2: about it. I'm so I'd just like, give me some

1046
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:08,440
Speaker 2: advice some thoughts.

1047
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 3: So years ago I took a class or I shadowed

1048
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 3: a class at Harvard about vampires, and there was a

1049
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 3: scholar who linked the portrayal of vampires at different eras

1050
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 3: to the political landscape, the financial landscape, Like, if vampires

1051
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 3: were portrayed as hot and sexy, this was going on

1052
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 3: in the world. If they weren't, this was going on

1053
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 3: in the world. All very smart stuff. Here's what I know.

1054
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 3: I did really fall for Twilight during the last recession

1055
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 3: in two thousand and whatever, right in what it was,

1056
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,879
Speaker 3: seventy eight, whenever it started to come out, So maybe

1057
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 3: there is something about that. But I also just think

1058
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 3: that Robert Pattson is a really attractive man. And I

1059
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 3: think that New Moon, which you were going into is

1060
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:01,600
Speaker 3: also a testament to the movie is just being entertaining

1061
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 3: because he's not in a lot of it for reasons,

1062
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 3: and then he is. It is a movie that made

1063
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 3: me want to go to Italy, and I had never

1064
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:12,920
Speaker 3: really thought about it. It is a movie. It is

1065
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 3: just a It is a beautiful piece of film. Criterion collection.

1066
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 3: Pick up the phone, and I just think you're really

1067
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,640
Speaker 3: going to enjoy yourself. I think you should let yourself

1068
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 3: have that.

1069
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 1: See this.

1070
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 2: This is FASc movie because it goes back to what

1071
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 2: you were talking about before, where things like come back

1072
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 2: around you know, yes, because oh yes, because.

1073
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 3: We were remembering one other thing which I want to

1074
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 3: tell you, which is that in that era, I would

1075
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:44,839
Speaker 3: watch all the director's commentaries for these movies, and I

1076
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 3: remember the director of New Moon saying that Robert Pattinson

1077
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 3: looked bad when he was kissing, so they shot any

1078
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 3: kissing from Christian Stewart's like her face would be face

1079
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 3: to the camera. And so I'm very conscious now of

1080
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 3: that when I watch any film with Robert Pattinson, where

1081
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 3: I'll be like it does he look weird? Are the

1082
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:08,160
Speaker 3: kids like? It was just such an interesting director thing

1083
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 3: to say, where he was like, it looked better. It's

1084
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:14,240
Speaker 3: it's actually a delightful director's commentary too, just about music

1085
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,279
Speaker 3: and yeah, yeah, well you.

1086
00:55:16,239 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 2: Wrote about the gender swapped one too, right, which the

1087
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:22,359
Speaker 2: Twilight gender swap.

1088
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 3: So that would be do we still have that was

1089
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 3: for I think we still have the original.

1090
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 2: I don't know in that. Yeah, I'm learning. I'm excited

1091
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 2: to learn.

1092
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes. Popped up on my TikTok V the

1093
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 1: gender swap version. I was like, what is this?

1094
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 4: Because I I was also two thousand and seven, I

1095
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 4: think right around the same time you were you were

1096
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 4: reading it. I was being through and I was like,

1097
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 4: what is this? I thought this was a kids book?

1098
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 4: And now I'm in love, Like I want to read

1099
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 4: all these books? Yeah, and then watch all the movies.

1100
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,879
Speaker 4: And then the movie I was like, oh, okay, wasn't

1101
00:55:59,920 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 4: it as good as I thought? Like, especially the last one.

1102
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I mean we get to like when

1103
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 3: we get to like CGI baby, it's you don't really

1104
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 3: just have to go in it.

1105
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: But like you're invested, but you can't like comment on it.

1106
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 3: It was never surprising to me that middle aged woman

1107
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 3: fell for it at the time in such a big way,

1108
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 3: because the first book is just a like a person

1109
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 3: asking a woman a lot of questions. So much of

1110
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 3: the book as him being like, what do you like?

1111
00:56:24,120 --> 00:56:24,720
Speaker 3: What's your favorite?

1112
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:24,840
Speaker 4: This?

1113
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 3: What do you And it's like, God forbid, somebody listen

1114
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 3: to me for five minutes. It was really like the

1115
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 3: pornography of somebody being present and interested in And it

1116
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 3: was no surprise to me at the time when I

1117
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 3: was in my thirties that every woman I knew from

1118
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 3: like forty five to fifty five was like, this is

1119
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 3: the perfect man. He's just interested.

1120
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 1: Is he five hundred years old? Yes, one hundred years old.

1121
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: Is that a problem, But he's but.

1122
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:51,480
Speaker 3: He's paying attention and he's like listening to the answers

1123
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:53,840
Speaker 3: I give as opposed to it. So yeah, but anyway

1124
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 3: you will. Yeah, I'm jealous. You get to do it

1125
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 3: all over again for the first time.

1126
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, for the first time.

1127
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,359
Speaker 4: And then we have our producer, Christina was a super fan,

1128
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 4: Like I was in it, but she was in it

1129
00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 4: in it and she was about she's about ten five

1130
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 4: to ten years she's ten years younger than me. Yeah,

1131
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:11,880
Speaker 4: so she was really caught up in it. So it's really, really,

1132
00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 4: really a delight to have these different perspectives. And I

1133
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 4: love that you understand where we're coming from.

1134
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 2: I mean, I think you're so right. It goes back

1135
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 2: to the thing you were saying about middle aged people

1136
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 2: writing young adult novels. It's true, like when you're younger,

1137
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 2: you can do these things.

1138
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, but when.

1139
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 2: You're older, we have to keep yes. Yeah, yes, Well,

1140
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,560
Speaker 2: thank you so much for taking the time before we

1141
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:42,000
Speaker 2: let you go is there anything you want to shout out?

1142
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 2: Any projects? Where can the listeners find you?

1143
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 3: They can find the podcast at love Letters and I

1144
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 3: think they'll love this season. And if you've been broken

1145
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 3: up with start with season one. I mean, I'm probably

1146
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 3: not as good at podcasting then, but it's a breakup

1147
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 3: season and of course it goes on from there and

1148
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 3: uh yeah, you can find the column at love Letters, so.

1149
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, awesome. Well, also all the books.

1150
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 3: Yes, you can go to meredithoaldteam dot com and truly

1151
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 3: explore the range of products you can buy, things you

1152
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 3: can see.

1153
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 2: Yes, I always love when we have a guest and

1154
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 2: I'm the one at the end that's like you also

1155
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 2: did this too?

1156
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 1: Sure, I'm busy.

1157
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

1158
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 2: You need to come back sometime or we just have

1159
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 2: pop culser nerd out.

1160
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 3: Okay, excellent.

1161
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 4: Do we want you to back for at least Rewatch,

1162
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 4: maybe the Twilight, maybe the final finale?

1163
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 3: Action? Yeah yeah, a little, a little as a tree.

1164
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 2: I can't wait. If you would like to find us,

1165
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 2: you can. You can emails a stuff and your mom

1166
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 2: stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find us on

1167
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 2: Twitter at mom Step Podcast or on Instagram and TikTok

1168
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 2: and stuff will never told you. We have a tea

1169
00:58:56,120 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 2: public store and we have a book. Yes, you can

1170
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 2: get wherever you get your books. Thanks, It's always to

1171
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 2: our super produced with Christina, executive producer My and your

1172
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 2: contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for listening.

1173
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 2: Steffan never told yous a fiction My Heart Radio. For

1174
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 2: more podcast from my Heart Radio, you can check out

1175
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 2: the iHeartRadio ap Apple podcast or where you listen to

1176
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:10,560
Speaker 2: your favorite shows