WEBVTT - The Color Conversation 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:06.960 Welcome to Jay dot M, a production of I Heart 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:14.920 Radio Microphone check one to what is this? Welcome to 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:20.840 Jay dot the Podcast. I'm here with Layah st Clair. Hello, people, 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.960 and agent great and dance. Yes, the five nine assassin 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:28.320 with the rough neck business. Wait, I'm like, I think 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.920 I cut lay off. What are you gonna say? Book? No, 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:33.080 I'm just saying, what's up? Book, that's all over you. Okay, 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:36.600 just just make it sure, work, just make it sure. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.720 I don't want to cut you off lying. I want no, 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:43.720 I want no smoke with you. Well a little bit. 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:54.240 We haven't done it and so out. Sorry, it's crazy. 0:00:54.440 --> 0:00:56.520 I really can't wait to see y'all in person, though, 0:00:56.560 --> 0:01:00.120 I'm happy to see you right in this moment, but 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:04.640 I feel that it's time. Okay, we've been on the zoom. 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:08.640 It's time to see one another. I'm going to warn you. 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:10.960 I think I warned you before, but I'm warning you now. 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.280 I'm going to bite you. I'll take a bite. I'm 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:19.759 going to bruise. Yeah. It's too much love we have had. 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:25.880 We have shared too many thoughts and feelings together. Damn zoom. 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:31.880 That's right now, You're gonna get bit you, Finna get it. Okay, 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:34.679 you're about to get it. I'm mark because you know, 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:36.160 this thing is like it's gonna be there for the 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:41.160 next two weeks. It's gonna go for red to black 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:45.600 and purple. One. Oh my god, I got a new bruise. 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.040 Like it's fading now, but I got a new bruise. 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:51.000 I was like, what did I though, that's that light 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:56.680 skinned thing, that problem when you come from. When did 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:59.880 this happen? I don't even know. I don't understand y'all's 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:03.800 skin problems. But I know that because I'm looking at 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:09.359 this Zoe and I you're you're a fair carmely I'm 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:11.640 a carmely color. I just said. But I had a mother. 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:14.600 I had a mother who was was quite light, and 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:17.360 she had issues with that too. She would literally have 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:20.200 a bruise and we'd be like, mom, what did you do? 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:23.000 She's like, I just I get these bruises living. I 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:27.760 don't know what. I don't know why this happens to me. 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.840 But I'd be like, mone, that's terrible. That thing is perfect. 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:34.040 You hit something, she said, I did. I don't know what, 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:37.959 and I do not remember. But and of course, growing 0:02:38.040 --> 0:02:41.920 up because I had like skinned mama as pf okay, 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.760 I was not one of those. Yes, we had we 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:47.160 put on something block. That's what my mother had to 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:50.560 have it on or she would peel so a lot 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:56.120 of it in the eighties and nineties, like yeah, yeah, 0:02:56.200 --> 0:03:00.240 my mother, my mother did. My mother did. The first 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:02.440 time you saw a black person burn, that ship blew 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:04.440 my mind, Like I saw a black girl bubble and 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:08.040 I was like, I don't even know because the doc 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:10.680 a dumb chick baby or on to get a better 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:18.560 more than I was like yes, like sis, You're like, 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:27.200 sister Melanin is not like completely yes, it's not. It 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:33.560 does it, it's not. But I didn't know that. I 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:36.280 didn't know. I got sunburned on my chest one time 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.240 and it completely like it changed the color of my 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.760 chest like forever. I had no idea. I was like, 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:50.120 why is my chest hurting it? I had no idea. 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.600 I didn't know, not for nothing, but the increase of 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:56.720 the ozone layer become missing. Black people are more endangered 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:00.640 than ever and they have no idea that. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, Actually, 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:02.280 I will tell you that I didn't have my first 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.960 experience burning in the past five years where I had 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:10.000 my shoulders, and I was like, oh wait, this is painful. 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:15.320 What is this um that hurts? I know, White people 0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:17.480 said somewhere laughing at us, like what the funk? How 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.480 Like how y'all didn't know that the sun burns because 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:24.039 it's whatever did before. And that's how you know that 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:27.720 the sun is getting stronger and the ozone layers getting weaker. 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.320 That's how you know because all these years, all these 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:35.279 years in the sun just turning different colors like crazy, 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.599 all some long. I remember some green one time because 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:43.760 like a like a army green, because they had so 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:46.640 much chlorine in the water. And we had gone to 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:50.520 a family reunion and I swim. I swear with my 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:53.680 cousins all day until the sun went down, and even 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:55.840 after that, sometimes to three o'clock in the morning, we 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.599 were swimming. I took that bathe in camp Off, Yes, 0:04:58.800 --> 0:05:02.480 bathe and cap. I took my baby and I had 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:06.839 a line right here from being in the sun. Just 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.560 you remember that you got to do that. Well. I 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.200 never had a swim cap. My mother would just braid 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:14.920 our hair, but I always wanted to. I always thought 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:18.960 that any it ain't never worked. Caps. Moms loved them 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:23.600 a little bit more and when you put it on 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:25.720 a hurt. It hurt, and then you'd be mad because 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:27.200 you were to do all that pain to put it on, 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:29.840 and then your hair still wet. It's like still wet. 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:35.240 You ain't missed nothing. Changing colors like that, you know, 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:39.440 changing to some green person because of the chlorine in 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:44.920 the water, Like deep that's on the skin. Yeah, that's 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:47.880 so good. It was like a you know, Motel six, 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:50.240 one of them drinks, so they had that. They probably 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:55.119 had bleaching. What I feel like when we were little 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:58.240 and we grew up, you know, in the eighties, you 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:01.960 know what I'm saying. And I think about like black 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.720 women and what black folks period and how we talk 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:07.640 about color is the most interesting situation. It's like if 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:10.200 you talk to old people, they got certain ways of 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:13.799 saying things and talking about things, and talk to our generation. 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:17.960 I remember that. You know. My husband always says, I 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:20.320 don't know when the light skinned boys went out of style. 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.280 He was like, but when I was young, that used 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.200 to be like a cool thing, and now it is not. 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:29.040 And I think to myself, when we were little, we 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:33.719 had such a terrible view of our skin tone and color. 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:37.960 I mean, I mean it was just awful, And for 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.880 me and for everybody on this call, you know, and 0:06:41.160 --> 0:06:44.320 having a conversation about colorism is really a deep thing 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:47.800 because it's like none of us really had to experience 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.719 what it was like on the other side of that 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.720 for real, for real, like to really be young in 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.240 the eighties and have to sit there and have people 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.680 talk about your skin color in such a negative and 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:02.560 derogatory way. Black people go through such ways that it's 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:05.960 not even just uh, it's not even exclusively to dark 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:07.920 skinned folks, and it's not even exclusively to life to 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:10.440 skinning folks. It depends on the decade. I feel like 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.360 it also depends on the way your family looks, because 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:17.960 because when I was growing up, I definitely thought I 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:21.760 was darker than I am because all my family member 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:24.560 they was lighter, and my dad was really dark. And 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:27.280 so for me, my grandmother said would say, you know, 0:07:27.360 --> 0:07:31.200 your father's handsome, and he's so black, you know, so 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.360 these things that was normal for people to say, you know, 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:37.080 for and so in my mind, I'm thinking, oh, I'm 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.680 dark because I'm darker than all y'all, and that's my dad, 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:43.800 you know, and I'm closer to his color that I 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:47.000 thought than I was to my mom. It does depend 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:49.680 on the environment, what was said to you and what 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.320 were the thoughts around those things. Maybe even also to 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.280 like what part of the country you lived in that too, 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:57.920 But it also has to do with with the time, 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:01.920 Like like life said that, you know in the fifties, 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:06.760 Oh honey, you needed to be fried by died ladies 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:10.200 decide you need to have that that hair popping, you know, 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:13.320 you had to get pressed baby, and the lighter you were, 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:17.000 the prettier you were period, That's how That's how it was. 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:19.920 And if you were on television, you know, you had 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.640 to be a maide. There was really nothing else for 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:27.880 you to do. I made a mammy, you know, something 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.400 of along those lines, and nanny that was nothing else. 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:34.320 When was the first time you saw a brown skin person, 0:08:34.400 --> 0:08:38.880 like truly brown on television? Do you remember that? Okay? 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:40.880 And then here is the night I'm sorry that just 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:46.480 popped in my head. Yeah yeah, well Sydney Portier was 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:53.880 it was brown. I for my earliest recollection of black 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:58.760 people on television would happy like cartoons? Oh god, the 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.920 Tom Jerry of it all. Yeah, I think I probably 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:05.360 my first I think black people that I oh no, no, 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:11.120 Sesame Street. That was the first black person. Gordon, Yes, Gordon, 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:14.920 who is dead still around, Yeah, Mr Gordon. I think 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:20.440 it was the late night television. Um, you know, trying 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:25.160 to think because you know TV used to go off. 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.679 TV used to go off. I will tell you with 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:33.000 something special about Woopy Goberg when on TV for sure, 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:39.079 for sure? Yeah. Yeah. And she was the lead a 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:43.679 Beauty Jumping Jack. She was the lead that that is, 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:48.720 you know, until Ghosts until but she rocked that. She 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:53.440 rocked that. Yeah. Yeah, she's the star of that movie. Yeah, 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.240 but she was the first of her I feel like 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:00.400 that had that look that it was okay, mixed the hair, 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:02.360 but I still don't even think it be. It's like, 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:05.520 it's interesting the representation part, right, people get we get 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:08.480 the representation, and that feels good. But on the playground, 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:13.280 it's still if you dark you African booty snatcher, it's 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:17.760 still if you light skin, it's still if you light skin, 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.840 you think you you think you better than everybody, or 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.080 you might end up getting beat up or something just 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:26.360 showing up light skin. I mean in real life, in 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.520 the way that we we interact with each other, you know, 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:31.600 or I want to marry this type of person so 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:35.559 I can have pretty babies, oh my god, or you 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:38.880 got that good hair? Or you know, are you real 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.199 pretty for a dark skinned girl? Or you know what 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.400 I mean like And these are things that really, in 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.520 my opinion, we still dog whistle these things to this day. 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:51.680 People may not say those exact words anymore, but it's like, 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.920 come on, we even down to like the natural hair 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:57.080 movement where it's like when you see a lot of 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.120 the models for natural hair, they got a certain kind 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.640 of natural hair. That curl pattern is the number one, 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.719 not the four right, that's the number one. It's not 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:09.000 a number four. It's a four y that needs me 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:12.480 a strong for seed. We're just start That's funny. I 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:14.079 think as of this year, we are just starting to 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:16.520 see women in commercials but a little bit of force, 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.240 a little bit, and typically those women are paired with 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:25.520 white men. God, come on with your truth, jail, and 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:29.960 nobody got time for listen. I to be to be 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:32.240 light skinned, and I'm telling you that this is that's 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.960 new for me. I just I didn't even believe it. 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:39.040 I didn't believe it. This is this is new to me. 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:43.480 I just found out I'm light skinned. Damn. Like even now, 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:45.679 to say it out loud, it's just like jagging me up, 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:48.600 because but what's wrong with this? Because there's I'm not 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.920 saying that there's anything wrong with it. I'm saying I 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:54.880 really didn't know. I don't know. How could you be 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.400 that delusional? I look at myself. I washed my face 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.280 every day, you know what I mean. I get in 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:03.640 the shower, I see myself. But I just never thunk 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:07.080 it just a little bit more diluted than you did before. 0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:12.679 Something is missing, something that's missing. I just didn't know. 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:16.800 I don't know because all of my well i'll say 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.560 most of my really close girlfriends are brown. Yeah you know, 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:23.360 I got I got one light skinned homie. You know 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.520 that's been around for more than than ten fifteen years. 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.400 But don't you find color and black folks so interesting? 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:32.320 I think it's interesting when people see a person and 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:34.200 they see their parents and they're like, it's no way 0:12:34.240 --> 0:12:36.320 that that child came from these two people, not knowing 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.480 that like this child, they may be dark and their 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:40.880 child may be light, but they had a like parent here, 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:42.760 and you know, just the way, yeah, the way the 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.199 whole thing works. Yeah, I've had a couple of friends 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.160 that have been accute, not accused, but you know you 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:51.040 must be mixed. Oh yeah, what are you mixed with? 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:53.640 What do you mixed with? Black and black? Black and black? 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:56.680 Black and black? But then also too, there's always this 0:12:56.720 --> 0:13:00.240 assumption that light skin also means you know, like we 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.679 talked about the hair thing, were just like, I know, 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.360 light skinned people will foresee hair, you know what I'm saying. Like, 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.600 it's like black people have just as all these different 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:12.960 combinations of the ways that we look that and we 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.280 had to discuss it. But you know, we've been moved around, 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:20.840 We've been moved around, mixed, added all of these different things. 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.800 We have so much variety to the way that we look, 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:27.840 you know, what we consider to be black or look black, 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.440 or be black, all of the all those things start 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.040 to come into questions and really like, and we're talking 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:35.000 about the DNA tests. You know, I had a good 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:41.040 girlfriend who her test came back. She's like European mad 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.360 as hell, she's mad as hell, but she black black girl. 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:48.800 And you know, once you get into those type of percentages, 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:50.840 you could you can look at yourself as being quote 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:55.240 unquote bi racial. At that point, you feel me then 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.840 there's some people who just identifies black, you know, identify 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:01.280 or I'm black, and and that you might look at 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:03.560 them in their face and their face is so light 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:08.760 that you wouldn't necessarily immediately say, oh, that person is 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.840 is black. You know what I'm saying is so I 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.400 just think we we we have to be able to 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.440 get to this point where we really embrace all of 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.559 the ways that we can look at all the ways 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.400 that our beauty looks, because I don't think that we 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:26.000 even keyed into how much diversity there really really is. 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.520 It's not we still always talk in terms of light 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.080 skin and dark skin. You've got light skinned people, You've 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:33.280 got dark skinned people. Because really, Jill, I can see 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:34.960 how I mean, I'm gonna give you a little bit 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:36.400 of a break on this. I can see how you 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:39.040 could have been a little thrown by being called light 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:43.280 skinned because maybe you felt I'm just brown. I'm just 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.240 like you know, I'm I'm the brown girl trying to 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.240 look at her. I'm looking at her skin. To me, 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:50.880 I'm just trying to get You're a good friend. That's 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.760 what you're doing being a good friend. I'm telling you, 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:56.320 how could I how could I not know that sounds 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.800 so nuts even to me, But I just never really 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.440 I thought about it. I didn't, I didn't think about it. 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.880 I was just brown. What was the illest thing somebody 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.040 said to you about your skin tone or about skin 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.760 tone to you that sticks out to your mind? Well, 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:12.280 as of late, my family is busting on me for 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:19.240 being light skinned, you know, with with this newfound and 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.560 I'll say new because you know, the television hasn't been 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:28.560 representing properly in my opinion, in every sitcom, you know, 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:31.440 the husband is is some kind of brown skin and 0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:34.000 the wife is some kind of light skinned with one 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:39.960 seed curls, you know, like seriously, no, right, like every 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.160 think of them. Let's go. It was. It's interesting, they're 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:45.080 trying to make a little change. You just made me 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:49.840 think of what, Yeah, of the new Gossip Girl with 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:54.120 with like with Kevin Hart and that beautiful woman I 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:57.800 don't know her name who was also in them. You know, 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:02.400 it's having lapide and young girl as a lead. You know, 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:07.200 seeing brown skinned women being loved is it's like a 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:13.320 whole new concept, you know. And when when the new 0:16:13.400 --> 0:16:18.080 I'm Viv came, I was mad, right, how dare you? 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:21.560 How could you do that. She can't even be brown, 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.760 like I'm viv We loved mass well read, but it 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:27.880 was all hot. We was all a little bit filth, 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.720 a little betrayed by that boment, Like, yeah, crazy, because 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:35.120 we know vivis brown. She made them brown babies. You 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:37.680 know she got one light skinned daughter, but her stand 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:41.120 is brown and her daughter is brown. So how are 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.920 you gonna were all the way in fantasy? I love it, 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:50.400 But no, she's only saying, she only saying will all 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:55.440 of us thinking, even everything, None of us understood where 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:59.040 Denise and Sandra came from. None, we all wonder why 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:03.000 they were so light. I'm telling about what you didn't wanted. Yes, 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.399 did y'all not come on? No? No, no, no, no, 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:11.600 no no never the grandfather or grandmother, the grandfather mother? Yes? 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:17.240 And and um yes, the Huxtable. What's his name? I 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.240 keep wanting to say Bill, But Joe it was Joe 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:23.959 Williams was Claire's daddy, And um no, that and close 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:27.719 father was Brad. I was light, Yes, yes, Russell, Russell 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:32.720 Russell wasn't as a light as he was. Like we 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:37.160 let that go. It's okay, y'all, We let because all 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:39.119 the way down to Rudy and it was like, Okay, 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:42.000 you're doing a color for Sindough, right, we do that. 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:46.159 We have a color spectrum in our family. Yeah, you 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.000 have a friend who's who's twin sisters. One is light, 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:52.959 one is dark, Pierre for nothing. My father is one 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:55.119 of nine and my grandmother was as dark as his 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.400 background we're looking at. But he is lighter than jail, 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.399 you know. So it's kind of like that's why I 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:02.560 was saying earlier about the beauty and black and what 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:04.960 we can make. And people are so even we get 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:11.040 confused as to what we can do. Right, you gotta 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:12.800 give it to the one who do it, you know 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:17.719 what I'm meaning, like so many flowers in the garden. 0:18:19.040 --> 0:18:22.120 So I think even when you talk about TV, right, 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.520 And we had this conversation with my daughter was talking 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:28.199 about movies that she was looking forward to, and like 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.200 people who are casting for these movies that she's looking 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.960 forward to. So there are several movies that are coming 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:35.480 out that are in the works and she's just like, 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:39.200 if they cast that person and who with light skinning 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.119 curly here, I'm gonna lose my mind. And so it 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.520 caused this conversation in my household about colorism. And it's 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.960 my thirteen year old who was talking about it, and 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:49.800 she tried to explain to my husband. She was like, 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:53.679 you know, Dad, the problem is that, you know, not 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:56.679 that people don't see beauty, she said, but there's so 0:18:56.720 --> 0:19:00.320 many dog whistles. Basically, when they do cast our skinned 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:03.960 women's people, they cast him in these ways that make 0:19:04.000 --> 0:19:07.560 them look aggressive, angry or you know. And it's gotten 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:11.160 better over the years, but it's like and he he laughed, 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.000 and he said, you know what, it's funny because they 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:17.080 talk negatively to men about being quote unquote light skin. 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.320 They're not looked at as manly. He was like, whereas 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.920 when people talk a dark skinned man is always presented 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:30.080 as a really strong character. And the game in the Jam, 0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:34.920 remember that it was like light skins out right, or 0:19:35.119 --> 0:19:38.200 or even New Jack City, because I always tease Christopher Woden, 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.679 you know, and about that whole you know, the the 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:45.399 juxtaposition between him and him and Snipes and so you know, 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:48.160 and we were talking about that and see my daughter, right, 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:51.000 and my daughter broke it down. She said, the reason 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:54.080 why that is, dad, is because it all goes back 0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:57.320 to black women. She's like, light skinned black women are 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:02.360 considered more feminine, more so off, more beautiful, she was like, 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:04.639 and you know, in the world of television and media, 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:07.640 she was like, and so when you have a light 0:20:07.680 --> 0:20:15.040 skinned man, his features are considered softer, more feminine. So 0:20:15.119 --> 0:20:17.480 she was like, so this is why this happens, and 0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:21.480 how how light skinned men get um, you know, portrayed 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:25.040 as being softer and being not as strong, she said. 0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:27.680 But think about how that looks for women, she says, 0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:32.159 So when dark skinned women are presented in media, and 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:36.359 she then they're they're presented as more masculine, less feminine, 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:39.000 she said, And this plays itself out in the real 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:41.640 world in a very real way. So you get dark 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:44.440 skinned girls who are punished more in school, you get 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:47.360 dark skinned girls who are considered more aggressive, you get 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.959 she said. So this is really important why we have 0:20:51.119 --> 0:20:53.760 to be clear on the way these messages are sent 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:56.320 to us about our skin color. And she was like, 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:58.680 in media, and my husband's mind was blown. He was 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:06.600 just like, Oh, won't they do it those I know 0:21:06.640 --> 0:21:08.600 one of the actresses, and she's probably excited about that. 0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:10.800 I know, I was excited about to see her, was 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:16.440 Dominique fishback seeing her and uh Judas and the the 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:21.359 black Besidah, and that they had the love and the 0:21:21.480 --> 0:21:26.760 respect and the banter, the intelligence. That was a really 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:29.960 lovely way. I mean. And and that's a girl who 0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:35.920 looks like your girl. She looks like you and she myself, 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:39.399 she's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, I love that. That was that 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:42.160 was on point. That was the point when he was talking. 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:44.600 I was like, okay, yeah, I feel like she beat 0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:47.320 but no, this is only the one of the twins. 0:21:51.240 --> 0:22:03.200 We'll be back after the break. Let's think about this. 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:10.720 Most of the successful black men that you know, oh 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:15.320 here we go, their wives are typically light skin Yeah. 0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:18.359 Only Denzel, Thank you, Denzel, thank you, saying well, sam 0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:22.440 thank you, saying well, thank you, thank you, Samuel. Look, 0:22:22.520 --> 0:22:25.159 I mean, I feel like I'm I'm a trader on 0:22:25.240 --> 0:22:29.800 my team because I have I do. I feel like 0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:32.280 I'm a trader on my team. I'm finding out I'm 0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:35.920 light skinning, and I'm like, oh man, wow, I've always 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:40.399 had an affinity to brown skinned women. Those are the 0:22:40.400 --> 0:22:42.440 ones that I seek out at at the party. Those 0:22:42.480 --> 0:22:44.119 are the ones that I ended up hanging out with 0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:53.359 that realize because I wanted to be that. So I 0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:56.840 was you know, you know, attracted to those kinds of 0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:59.840 friends because they were they were brown. I never considered 0:22:59.840 --> 0:23:03.320 it until I looked at my best friend, you know, uh, 0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:05.280 And I looked at you know, the girls that I 0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:08.600 will hang out in high school or whatever, and I'm like, oh, snap, 0:23:09.280 --> 0:23:12.240 you know it has been well. I mean, like I said, man, 0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.800 my girlfriends, my cousins will be like, you know, they 0:23:15.880 --> 0:23:17.720 walk in the room, ain't nobody said a word to 0:23:17.760 --> 0:23:19.760 him like, oh, she's stuck up. So this is the 0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:22.359 eighties and nineties when we're growing up, so you you 0:23:22.480 --> 0:23:26.240 probably definitely internalized some of that, thinking I have a 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:28.200 better chance of making a friend with a girl who's 0:23:28.240 --> 0:23:30.280 not light skinned because she's gonna think she better than me, 0:23:30.400 --> 0:23:33.040 or she's gonna be stuck up, or she's people were 0:23:33.040 --> 0:23:34.920 thinking Jill was thinking that she was better than them 0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:37.720 because she was a shot sitting around like why y'all 0:23:37.760 --> 0:23:41.800 don't like me? Exactly? I don't understand what's happening here. 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:45.399