Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us on yet another episode
Speaker 1: of Help I Suck At Dating. We might not be
Speaker 1: a People's Choice nominee, we might not be Banner Ashley I,
Speaker 1: but damn it, we're here every week and we love
Speaker 1: doing it. Joined in studio by my good friend Jared,
Speaker 1: who was back from his honeymoon. We're gonna dive into
Speaker 1: the bellows and understand exactly what you guys have been
Speaker 1: doing for the past couple of weeks. It's been so
Speaker 1: long as I've seen you. Your tan, You're all of
Speaker 1: the sun kissed skin, the facial here, it's somehow got thicker.
Speaker 1: You are looking fantastic. Vanessa obviously is in her apartment
Speaker 1: in Montreal as well. Um, and we're just gonna go
Speaker 1: from there. We're kind of flying from the seat of
Speaker 1: our pants today. When was the last I Suck At
Speaker 1: Dating podcast with Dean, Vanessa and Jared all on at
Speaker 1: the same time. Quite a while? Yeah, the last time
Speaker 1: we recorded all together was Tahoe. Wow. Quite the extensive
Speaker 1: period of was about a month and a half ago. Right, So, yeah,
Speaker 1: we are so j I gotta say, you look really
Speaker 1: good with the ring on your finger. Thank you, Vanessa.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. I know there it is shining, glimmering.
Speaker 1: How does it feel listening? Feels good, it feels normal.
Speaker 1: Do you take it off like I should be wearing
Speaker 1: this ring for a while? You take it off on
Speaker 1: you sleep? Yeah. I already lost it once. Well actually
Speaker 1: technically I didn't lose it. I misplaced it because I
Speaker 1: found it. I don't know how that one. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Long story short. We were in New York after we
Speaker 1: came back from our honeymoon. We had to be in
Speaker 1: New York for a few days. Ashley was recording Almost Famous.
Speaker 1: I went to go to Barnes and Noble, walked around,
Speaker 1: went to go reach for a book. Noticed that my
Speaker 1: ring was not there. Another thing about my ring, it's
Speaker 1: doesn't It's a little loose, and when my hand gets wet,
Speaker 1: it becomes very slippery and falls off easily. I was
Speaker 1: very aware of this on the honeymoon. I was very
Speaker 1: conscious of this. So I made sure to like, oh,
Speaker 1: just have my hand in a fist. But then so
Speaker 1: I reached for a book and Barnes and Noble. My
Speaker 1: ring wasn't there. I had a panic attack because we
Speaker 1: were about ten blocks from the hotel, so I was
Speaker 1: thinking I could have lost it within any span of time.
Speaker 1: But then I was thinking rationally and thought, okay, it
Speaker 1: had to have slipped off when I was either in
Speaker 1: the shower or washing my hands. So I immediately went
Speaker 1: back to the hotel. Check the shower floor wasn't there,
Speaker 1: checked the sink wasn't there. Had another mini panic attack
Speaker 1: until I noticed to the right of the sink, right
Speaker 1: on the counter was my wedding ring. And so housekeeping
Speaker 1: shout out to nicker Barker. Nicker Barker Housekeeping for keeping
Speaker 1: my ring on the counter. They must have saw it
Speaker 1: either on the shower floor on the sink and took
Speaker 1: it off and set it there and just forgot. No,
Speaker 1: I would have remembered. So so when you go to
Speaker 1: bed at night, you take it off and put on
Speaker 1: the nights No, No, I keep it on. I just
Speaker 1: keep it on. Yeah, why don't you just get a
Speaker 1: size a little bit better? I'm going to Oh, we've
Speaker 1: been away. That's a good point. So anyway, I never
Speaker 1: take mine off. Just for the record, I don't know
Speaker 1: why anybody takes those off. I never take mynef get
Speaker 1: it dent if you don't take it off. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want that dent. That dens kind of do too. It's
Speaker 1: like a permanent wedding ring. You know, you're so cute.
Speaker 1: I have friends who are married that take theirs up
Speaker 1: to like rock climb and like the things that required
Speaker 1: rock climbing. You don't want to lose a finger in
Speaker 1: case it gets caught. I was gonna take it off
Speaker 1: while working out, or I should say attempting to work out,
Speaker 1: but then gotten used to it. South Beach diet. Baby
Speaker 1: always about it. So tell us about your honey when
Speaker 1: you went to Positano to uh Santorini. Yeah, so we
Speaker 1: left immediately after the wedding. We got married on a Sunday,
Speaker 1: left on that Monday because that's what actually always wanted.
Speaker 1: Left flew to And I'm sorry, I'm gonna cut you
Speaker 1: off there. I just have a question. So is i've
Speaker 1: an answer? Is that typical for married couples to do
Speaker 1: or do you typically stay around in the venue area
Speaker 1: for a couple of days and then leave. I think
Speaker 1: traditionally you leave pretty immediately. I don't know, this is
Speaker 1: what Ashley wanted to do. I think traditionally usually for
Speaker 1: the honeymoon pretty immediately and you know what, it's really
Speaker 1: up to the couple, I think. But we left immediately,
Speaker 1: flew into Naples at then went to a Malfi coast, Naples, Florida. Naples,
Speaker 1: Florida was great, drove up to Orlando, went to Disney World.
Speaker 1: That would have been the honeymoon I wanted. No. Italy
Speaker 1: was fantastic. We went to a Malfi coast, went to
Speaker 1: past Toano, and then we took a ferry to Capri
Speaker 1: and Capri was absolutely gorgeous, which is an island off
Speaker 1: the coast of Italy. Uh. And then we flew to
Speaker 1: uh Santorini in Greece, which was absolutely breathtaking. Spent five
Speaker 1: days there staying Uh. Yeah, you know, we stayed outside
Speaker 1: of Eau. We were only about a ten minute drive
Speaker 1: from there. So we went to EA many times. Uh.
Speaker 1: You know. We had this sunset cruise that we did
Speaker 1: for a day which was breathtaking. Uh, and it was
Speaker 1: just an incredible time. It was really nice. Um actually
Speaker 1: was spot on when she said she wanted to do
Speaker 1: that because she wanted to feel like husband and wife,
Speaker 1: like a married couple. Of she didn't want to get
Speaker 1: married and then go immediately back home because we had
Speaker 1: the opportunity to go on a honeymoon, and of course
Speaker 1: we wanted to take advantage of it. And she was
Speaker 1: absolutely right because it did feel different. Like yeah, because
Speaker 1: you know, everybody as soon as they find out that
Speaker 1: you're on your honeymoon immediately treat you differently or give
Speaker 1: you coupons for free drinks, or like, oh my god, congratulations,
Speaker 1: you guys, just get married and let me see the rings.
Speaker 1: And uh so it was quite an experience and it
Speaker 1: was truly, um, one of the best two weeks of
Speaker 1: my life. Did you fly first class? Well, that's a
Speaker 1: personal question. We we did, though, uh luckily knock on Wood. Uh,
Speaker 1: not the entire trip, but we were able to the
Speaker 1: long stretches from here over to Naples. We were able
Speaker 1: to get. It's business class. It's different. The reason I
Speaker 1: asked is because I just watched the Friends episode where
Speaker 1: Monica and Chandler are on their honeymoon and a couple
Speaker 1: ahead of them gets upgraded the first class for free
Speaker 1: because they say that they're on their honeymoon. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: we didn't get upgraded and we just you know, but um, actually,
Speaker 1: ironically though, actually sister Lauren and her boyfriend got upgraded
Speaker 1: to first class when they flew back to Los Angeles randomly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I kind of worked out for them. But the
Speaker 1: honeymoon was was awesome. Uh, pictures looked amazing. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was just it was an incredible time, and honestly, her
Speaker 1: and I just really relaxed the entire time. We did
Speaker 1: a little bit of sight seeing, a little bit of traveling,
Speaker 1: but I think we didn't want our honeymoon to be
Speaker 1: bouncing around from place to place and feel like we
Speaker 1: had an itinerary. We really just wanted to relax and
Speaker 1: enjoy our time together and eat and and lay out
Speaker 1: by the pool and drink and and you know, be
Speaker 1: romantic and all that we have five days in Santi
Speaker 1: is a lot Castor is a small island, it is,
Speaker 1: and so like you get, it's good that you can
Speaker 1: just kind of relax and unlined and yeah, really unlined,
Speaker 1: which was great, Uh, you know, and it was just
Speaker 1: an incredible time that I'll never forget. And the wedding
Speaker 1: was just absolutely stunning, and the best weekend of my life.
Speaker 1: This is your first podcast episode post wedding too. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: it was the best weekend of my life. So we
Speaker 1: should probably have into that a little bit too. What
Speaker 1: was the highlight of the honeymoon specifically? Though? Highlight of
Speaker 1: the honeymoon? Um, while there's so many of like whether
Speaker 1: it's location or dinner or like our favorite well, honest,
Speaker 1: our favorite dinner, Uh, probably was this small restaurant that
Speaker 1: we went to in Capri. So the hotel that we
Speaker 1: stayed at was in the middle of this little village
Speaker 1: where we could go and walk around. There'd be little
Speaker 1: shops and coffee and espresso and restaurants and and so
Speaker 1: we went to this restaurant one night that was just uh,
Speaker 1: it was a small little nook and the food was incredible.
Speaker 1: Of course, we got two pasta dishes, and the pasta
Speaker 1: there is outrageously good. Because did you feel like you
Speaker 1: were less bloated after you had pasta? Yeah? Actually actually
Speaker 1: did some redshirts into this because you you don't you know,
Speaker 1: when you eat a huge bowl of pasta over here,
Speaker 1: you know your stomachs full, you feel bloated, you feel grossedy,
Speaker 1: you just want to lay down over there. You don't
Speaker 1: feel bloated at all, and it it doesn't feel like
Speaker 1: you ate this huge heap of pasta with sauce. Uh.
Speaker 1: And it's apparently because there's no h, you know, pesticides
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's not. It's less process it's all organic there.
Speaker 1: So the pasta was so fresh and tasted amazing and
Speaker 1: it was just that was probably one of my favorite
Speaker 1: dinners in one of the high lights. And Capri itself,
Speaker 1: I think it was a highlight for us. Um. Wait,
Speaker 1: so the dinner and Capri and Capri, so all in all,
Speaker 1: Capri was just that. I think Capri was our our favorite.
Speaker 1: Santorini was stunning though, all three past Yeah, and the
Speaker 1: Multi Coast was incredible as well. But the resort that
Speaker 1: we stayed at we had a room um which was
Speaker 1: kind of located down by the water um and obviously
Speaker 1: it was it was on a cliff, and so in
Speaker 1: order to get to our room from the hotel every day,
Speaker 1: we had to walk about two hundred steps. It's like
Speaker 1: a workout. It was a workout and they're not easy steps.
Speaker 1: Those you know, each step is about awkwardly sorry, you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's about three ft wide, and they're like, it's
Speaker 1: not the same size step every time. It's like it's
Speaker 1: probably a different size step. Yeah, you know it's it's
Speaker 1: obviously rocky and different levels and uh so we certainly
Speaker 1: got our steps in there. Um and I felt really
Speaker 1: bad because our last day. Of course, the hotel really
Speaker 1: wants to take care of you, and we had two
Speaker 1: suitcases with us, and so they're, yeah, the guy is
Speaker 1: this This guy made like Ivan Drago from Rocky four,
Speaker 1: literally throw two over his shoulder and just walking up
Speaker 1: the steps. Because if he's Hercules, those guys are crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean they do it every day, so like obviously
Speaker 1: get used to it and then like build a tolerance
Speaker 1: or for or whatever. But yeah, you always see them,
Speaker 1: then you're like, god, that's impressive. Yeah. But I think, honestly,
Speaker 1: probably the highlight as well as our first dinner in Amalfi,
Speaker 1: just because it was our first dinner, uh on our honeymoon.
Speaker 1: We had a breathtaking view. Um so that was probably
Speaker 1: one of the did you guys stop in New York
Speaker 1: on the way there, on the way back or the
Speaker 1: way back? Oh and you went to Jonas Brothers concert? Well, yes,
Speaker 1: actually wanted to go to the Jones Brothers concert because
Speaker 1: we had a good New York for a few days anyway,
Speaker 1: And then of course she timed it perfectly where the
Speaker 1: Jonas Brothers were in town that that day. So we
Speaker 1: went to the Staples Center and so the Jonas Brothers
Speaker 1: perform and they put on a great show. You know, hey,
Speaker 1: they're musically talented. They put it on a good show.
Speaker 1: I enjoyed myself. It was funny though, because I was
Speaker 1: surrounded by girlfriends or wives with their significant others as well,
Speaker 1: who probably were in the same boat as me, where
Speaker 1: it's like I'm enjoying myself. I'm having fun. They're losing
Speaker 1: their sho but I'm I'm having a good time. I
Speaker 1: will say, do admire your willingness to go along with
Speaker 1: um Ashley to those types of things. I mean, she's
Speaker 1: been to so many Rob Thomas concerts. Come on, but
Speaker 1: I'm sure she likes Rob Thomas. Yeah she does. It's
Speaker 1: a little bit more musical musically, he is more both
Speaker 1: of our style brothers more. I mean, I very much
Speaker 1: enjoy Sucker. That's a fantastic song. Obviously I couldn't name
Speaker 1: a single Jonas Brothers song, but you no, sucker, it's
Speaker 1: the one that's on the radio all the time. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't listen to the radio. I don't have radio
Speaker 1: that doesn't see very insulting to those of us in
Speaker 1: the radio industry. My heart studio right now to the radio.
Speaker 1: So did you feel like you were you had more
Speaker 1: privacy while you were in Europe on your honeymoon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean a couple of you came out to us
Speaker 1: that were also on their honeymoon, which was really sweet. Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a couple of people were saying, we know that you
Speaker 1: just got married. We just got married. So it was
Speaker 1: this really nice moment between us. But all and all, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was. It was very secluded in private, which was
Speaker 1: really nice. Ashley and I really had some time to
Speaker 1: try to soak in every moment of the honeymoon because
Speaker 1: that's you know, it's never gonna happen again. We only
Speaker 1: have one. Uh, so we really tried to make sure
Speaker 1: that we enjoyed every second of it and just uh
Speaker 1: collected as many memories as we possibly could and just
Speaker 1: really live in the moment um. And we tried to
Speaker 1: do that honestly, from the entire time. When we flew
Speaker 1: into Rhode Island up until you know, when we flew
Speaker 1: back to New York when it was all said and done.
Speaker 1: Since he was we're gone for what to week. We
Speaker 1: were doing in Europe for twelve food days. It's a
Speaker 1: long time. It was a long time. We wanted to
Speaker 1: make sure um that we you know, it's a long
Speaker 1: flight to you know, it's about ten hours, and so
Speaker 1: we really wanted to try to make sure that we
Speaker 1: could extend it as long as possible because with such
Speaker 1: a long flight, we wanted to make sure we get
Speaker 1: your time's worth exactly. And also, I mean, this is
Speaker 1: only my second time to Italy. I've only been there
Speaker 1: once before and that was in two thousand and nine.
Speaker 1: Ashley had hadn't been there and I think fifteen years.
Speaker 1: So it's not like we're able to go to Italy
Speaker 1: every other weekend. So it was really kind of one
Speaker 1: of those moments where we want to take advantage of
Speaker 1: our time because we have no idea when the next
Speaker 1: time we'll ever be in Italy. And it was the
Speaker 1: first time I was ever in Greece granted to Santorini,
Speaker 1: so it's the island, but I had never been in Greece.
Speaker 1: Before we're Did you fly into San three report? Did
Speaker 1: you find Athens and take the boat up? No? No No, no,
Speaker 1: So we flew from Capri actual excuse me, from Naples
Speaker 1: right into Santorini, which a lot of people were flabbergasted by.
Speaker 1: How did Santoris airport small? It's the worst airport I've
Speaker 1: ever been to my life. No customs either, No customs
Speaker 1: I had, Like I remember what I flew out of Santorini,
Speaker 1: just flew right in and walked right into the country.
Speaker 1: What marks Mark laughing over there? It's so relatable. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, Santorini's thet everted to you, uncultured swine. Santorini
Speaker 1: is in Greece. It was just it's small. What you
Speaker 1: hate about it so much? What's your with Santorini? Experience
Speaker 1: with it was I had a flight out of Santorini
Speaker 1: airport at three am, and I got there at one am,
Speaker 1: And at one oh five am I get an email
Speaker 1: saying my flight was delayed seven hours and so I
Speaker 1: had to stay in the city airport for an extra
Speaker 1: seven hours. I saw you post about that. I'm very upset.
Speaker 1: That's a bad one. That is about how can you
Speaker 1: delay a flight seven hours. I was not happy. Um,
Speaker 1: but it ended up working at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: But okay, so what did you miss most while you
Speaker 1: were traveling? What did I miss most? Because like you're
Speaker 1: you know, you're, um, I think I missed two things. Really.
Speaker 1: One I missed our dog Lois. Uh yeah, she's she's
Speaker 1: our child, so we really missed her. And then secondly,
Speaker 1: I really missed being with my family, our family, um,
Speaker 1: after the wedding, because it was such a moment and
Speaker 1: a night in a weekend that I really wanted time
Speaker 1: to just spend with everybody that was involved, you know,
Speaker 1: her parents, my parents, siblings, friends, family, and just like
Speaker 1: be like and just talk about it. You know. It's
Speaker 1: gotta be such an interesting, interesting contrast to go from
Speaker 1: the wedding, which is your friends, your family and you're
Speaker 1: like all spending time together consistently for the course of
Speaker 1: the weekend, to then just you and actually for four
Speaker 1: days in a row. Yeah, it's like you're you're surrounded
Speaker 1: by all of these people all the time and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's just you. And actually, you know,
Speaker 1: that's gotta be weird. I would imagine. Actually, no, it
Speaker 1: wasn't really that weird. I think I'm actually and are
Speaker 1: so comfortable with each other and just being around each
Speaker 1: other all the time now that it's really second nature,
Speaker 1: like an adjustment I guess maybe, but yeah, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that it was weird for you, and actually just
Speaker 1: like to go from the smothering and like all of
Speaker 1: this attention from all the people being at your wedding,
Speaker 1: which I want to let's talk about your wedding too,
Speaker 1: because obviously it was beautiful and it's funny. Did you
Speaker 1: have fun I had? Did you? Are you being sarcastic? No?
Speaker 1: I mean I haven't really talked to you about it.
Speaker 1: I mean we we've talked since, but not like I
Speaker 1: hadn't asked you if you had funny. I still can't
Speaker 1: get over how much fun I had. I was like
Speaker 1: kind of like, I gotta go to a wedding. I'm
Speaker 1: never really big fan of weddings, but then I was
Speaker 1: there and I was like, holy cow, this is like
Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful things I've ever been to.
Speaker 1: And I've talked about it to my friends, who um like,
Speaker 1: obviously we're removing vasterlination. One friend in particular, who was
Speaker 1: like a big, big um like Disney fan, and you
Speaker 1: just played a lot of Disney songs at this reception
Speaker 1: and she was like losing her and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you should have seen the setup. It looked just like
Speaker 1: it was straight out of Beauty and the Beast's Castle,
Speaker 1: and then they were playing like the Disney music on
Speaker 1: top of that. I mean, I had a blast. My
Speaker 1: only complaint if I if you were to come to
Speaker 1: me and have like a team, give me one thing
Speaker 1: that you didn't like about the wedding. I'm not asking that.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you, okay, it just ended too early. Well,
Speaker 1: the problem was it ended at uh well, we had
Speaker 1: ended at midnight, so we had everybody leave at love
Speaker 1: forty five, which is not early. It's not early, but
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I was having so much fun I
Speaker 1: wanted to go longer. No, that was what we wanted.
Speaker 1: You know, we were supposed to end an hour early,
Speaker 1: and that night we extended it an hour because the
Speaker 1: cocktail party was going long because pictures were taking along,
Speaker 1: which I feel like anybody who's ever gotten married can
Speaker 1: relate to that. Of course, pictures are taking longer than
Speaker 1: they're supposed to um, but we we extended it and
Speaker 1: we really that's awesome that you said that. And probably
Speaker 1: one of the best comments that anybody paid to me
Speaker 1: throughout the entire night was that so many people came
Speaker 1: up and said, this is the most Ashley and Jarard
Speaker 1: wedding we could have possibly imagined, which really felt the
Speaker 1: world to me because Ashley and I worked so hard
Speaker 1: throughout the past year with our wedding planner, Troy Williams,
Speaker 1: whose company is called Simply Troy, which I find fantastic
Speaker 1: you you met him. He's a bald gay man who's
Speaker 1: just the most fantastic human being you'll ever meet in
Speaker 1: your entire life. And he um, his company is called
Speaker 1: simply Troy because everything simply like He's just simply grateful,
Speaker 1: which I find hysterical. A great job, Oh, he was incredible,
Speaker 1: and his entire wedding team was just phenomenal and and
Speaker 1: he did such a good job of letting Ashley and
Speaker 1: I really incorporate our personalities at this wedding. Uh. Like
Speaker 1: even like you talk about the music, every song that
Speaker 1: played was was picked up by Ashley and I and
Speaker 1: we just you know, had the band play um. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, we were just like, can you please play
Speaker 1: these songs? We're like, yeah, sure, this is great. And
Speaker 1: then with DJ Jack, who is laurence boyfriend, we asked
Speaker 1: the same thing, like he plays songs. Then he was
Speaker 1: able to put the mix together. And then during the
Speaker 1: dinner we had the the the string Quartet play musical
Speaker 1: movie themes, which was awesome. Sounds a yeah, it was
Speaker 1: just we we we wanted to make sure we put
Speaker 1: details in there that meant the world to Ashley and I.
Speaker 1: Even for example, during the ceremony we had two readings,
Speaker 1: but they were your traditional readings. They were movie read things,
Speaker 1: and people can give us crap for that. I don't
Speaker 1: really care because it was what Ashley and I wanted
Speaker 1: and one of them was so we had a one
Speaker 1: bridesmaid and one groom's been go up and do a
Speaker 1: reading from a movie and the first one was the
Speaker 1: finale scene from Jerry McGuire where he comes in I'm
Speaker 1: looking for my wife, and then that was fantastic, And
Speaker 1: then we had to do another reading from When Harry
Speaker 1: met Sally, where of course he goes to the New
Speaker 1: Year's Eve party and confesses his love for from Meg
Speaker 1: Ryan's character and they did a great job with it,
Speaker 1: and Nick dominated it. It was awesome. Also, yeah, I
Speaker 1: just want to point out this, like it's kind of
Speaker 1: awkward that I'm talking about the wedding because of the
Speaker 1: history between Vanessa and I. Uh and Vanessa, I hope
Speaker 1: you don't feel awkward about talking about it, and not
Speaker 1: at all. I I was watching you stories and I
Speaker 1: found it absolutely amazing, and like I said, it just
Speaker 1: ended up happening that that weekend too, was my grandmother's funeral.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, I texted you. Yeah, So it
Speaker 1: was just, Um, I absolutely loved watching his stories and
Speaker 1: hearing you know, like watching every everyone else's reaction is
Speaker 1: to your The whole experience from like even when Ashley
Speaker 1: was trying on wedding dresses to seeing her final pick
Speaker 1: of her wedding dress was like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: sure all the girls that were following her were so
Speaker 1: amazed by her dress and like everything that you guys
Speaker 1: put together. So absolutely no hard feelings at all. I
Speaker 1: love hearing these stories. Um, but thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: for pointing that out. No, it's weird because I just yeah,
Speaker 1: Ashley was Yeah, it was she looked breathtaking and and
Speaker 1: just the entire day, you know, like I I think
Speaker 1: back on memories. It's only been a month, but like
Speaker 1: us playing football on the beach, and then of course
Speaker 1: you know Cupcake getting her It felt I just felt horrible,
Speaker 1: but like that was so much fun. And then the
Speaker 1: rehearsal dinner was so much fun. And then the day
Speaker 1: of just hanging out the house. I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: remember any of that, but because I slept in until
Speaker 1: like three, oh, that was fantastic. It was like four pm.
Speaker 1: The ceremonies an hour and a half, and it's like,
Speaker 1: all right, so we gotta get Dean's. It's because I
Speaker 1: remember the night before we went out to O'Brien's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was like, all right, tonight's like the last
Speaker 1: night Jared's a single man. I'm gonna get him as
Speaker 1: drunk as possible. I'm like buying shots forever. I don't
Speaker 1: think you were taking the shots. I took two. I
Speaker 1: took two shots, right, well, so my goal was to
Speaker 1: get you as drunk as possible, But in reality, I
Speaker 1: got myself as drunk well because you kept going and
Speaker 1: you're like I'm getting another shot, and I was like
Speaker 1: I'm good, and they're like, all right, I'll be back.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, he's taking another one. Good God,
Speaker 1: good for you know. I'm glad that everybody had fun. Um.
Speaker 1: And I even think back on that moment before, right
Speaker 1: before we went into the church all together, when it
Speaker 1: was just us Grunsman in the side room and Alan
Speaker 1: was there as well, Alan Gale, who officiated at our wedding. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like moments like that, you're so nervous. I
Speaker 1: was so nervos. I was just so overwhelmed with so
Speaker 1: many different emotions because it's such a weird feeling and
Speaker 1: anybody's been married can relate to this where everybody in
Speaker 1: that room is only there for you, celebrating your love,
Speaker 1: and it's so many people different walks of my life.
Speaker 1: Um that it's just this like like you were there
Speaker 1: with my dad and high school and stuff. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: Nick was there with you know, uh yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: not only my father who's my best man, but like
Speaker 1: my friends from school and high school and and just
Speaker 1: like it was this surreal moment where so many people
Speaker 1: that have been so close with me from all different
Speaker 1: aspects of my life now are all together in one
Speaker 1: room and it's everything I ever wanted, um, and I'm
Speaker 1: marrying my best friend. It was just it was it
Speaker 1: was cool. It was really cool. Man. It was cool. Man.
Speaker 1: I know I talk a lot about it, but I
Speaker 1: don't care if people think that I'm talking too much
Speaker 1: about it because it was just it was one of
Speaker 1: those one of those one of those weekends, you know,
Speaker 1: one of those days. I think it'd be weird if
Speaker 1: you didn't talk about it. Yeah, I guess right if
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it was cool, moving right along,
Speaker 1: which honestly, like if and when I get married, it's
Speaker 1: probably I'm gonna do. Yeah, I get married, whatever's talk
Speaker 1: about it anymore, that's probably gonna be an issue. So
Speaker 1: it's good that you're so so jazzed about it. I
Speaker 1: think that's a good thing. I guess. I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: a lot of listeners who are either planning on getting married,
Speaker 1: or there are and they are engage, or I'm in
Speaker 1: a position where like I feel like the person that
Speaker 1: I'm with is the person that I want to spend
Speaker 1: the rest of my life with. What is a piece
Speaker 1: of advice that you can give to us listeners, to
Speaker 1: the listeners who are taking that extra step and if
Speaker 1: you were to go back and say, you know what
Speaker 1: I spent We spent too much time thinking about this
Speaker 1: for the wedding. Not not important, Like what's something that
Speaker 1: you can say was helpful to do? I'm sure like
Speaker 1: having a wedding planet it was really helpful. What's something
Speaker 1: that you thought, well, there was no point of thinking
Speaker 1: about this or stressing out over this. UM. I think
Speaker 1: my best advice is to make it your own as
Speaker 1: much as possible, and don't worry about what anybody's gonna
Speaker 1: think or or you know, just do what you want
Speaker 1: to do. Because Ashley and I were a little where
Speaker 1: we were stressed about a lot of things because we
Speaker 1: were really hard on the wedding with our with our
Speaker 1: wedding planner, uh, and we spent a lot of money
Speaker 1: on it, and we were very stressed about that and curious,
Speaker 1: what is it going to be worth it? It's one
Speaker 1: day of our lives and this is what we're putting
Speaker 1: into it. Um And looking back on it, it was
Speaker 1: worth every second of effort, It was worth every dollar
Speaker 1: we spent because it just created a memory that I
Speaker 1: can't tell you how grateful I am for. So that
Speaker 1: would be my advice is to make you know, don't
Speaker 1: be it's everything that you're stressing about right now during
Speaker 1: the wedding planning, or if you will stress, you will
Speaker 1: stress during wedding planning. It's all gonna be worth it.
Speaker 1: It's all gonna be worth it, you know, um and
Speaker 1: and and and and personalize it, you know, like if
Speaker 1: you're spending money, if you want, like, don't be afraid
Speaker 1: to ask. I remember when we were asking the band, uh,
Speaker 1: we kind of felt a little um, I don't want
Speaker 1: to say self absorbed, but awkward to say, hey, can
Speaker 1: you play these songs? And then we're thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Let's just do it, let's just ask, and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course we can play the song snores. And then
Speaker 1: every song that was played there, every song that came on,
Speaker 1: it was like, oh I love this song. I love
Speaker 1: this song. And then um, you know, and then even
Speaker 1: like the movie readings, you know, we knew people are
Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh ked, they're they're having movie lines,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, that's what we want. And
Speaker 1: everybody seemed to really enjoy it, and it was fun
Speaker 1: and it was emotional, and we put so many of
Speaker 1: our details into it, even like simple things like our invitations,
Speaker 1: the like the on the outside of the envelope it
Speaker 1: was it said A and J with the Superman symbol
Speaker 1: around it, which I don't think a lot of people
Speaker 1: picked up on, but it was something that was so
Speaker 1: meaningful to me to be like, oh, instead of the
Speaker 1: S and there, it's the A and J, you know. Um.
Speaker 1: And so we just had a lot of fun within.
Speaker 1: So that's my best advice is Yep, it's definitely me
Speaker 1: more expensive than you think. Uh. And there's gonna be
Speaker 1: payments that you have to make at last minute that
Speaker 1: you're going to stress out about, and it's gonna seem
Speaker 1: that like nothing is coming together and is it gonna
Speaker 1: be worth it? And I promise you it all will
Speaker 1: be worth it because when that day comes and you're
Speaker 1: with the people that you love the most, um, and
Speaker 1: they're they're celebrating you and your love, there is not
Speaker 1: a feeling like it in this world that I have
Speaker 1: yet to experience, which, um, you know, I'm sure we'll
Speaker 1: be topped if you know, Ashley and I are uh
Speaker 1: you know, lucky enough to have kids one day. Um.
Speaker 1: But for the moment, it was Yeah, even my dad,
Speaker 1: my dad came up to me. So I got to
Speaker 1: see him before we flew out on Monday, and he said, uh,
Speaker 1: he said it was one of the highlights of his life.
Speaker 1: It's awesome. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, I mean no money
Speaker 1: could ever match, you know, hearing that from your dad.
Speaker 1: I guess. One final question, the one that we're all
Speaker 1: dying to know. Oh good, it's not about sex, Jared,
Speaker 1: and that's where your mind going. Did Dean hook up
Speaker 1: with anybody at the wedding? I kiss Nick, Yeah, to
Speaker 1: apreciate kissed me on the list one time. I definitely
Speaker 1: kissed you. This is something about me. When I'm drunk
Speaker 1: and around my friends, all I want to do is
Speaker 1: kiss him. Yeah, that's not the question, right. The question
Speaker 1: we're all dying to know is under your tuxedo at
Speaker 1: the wedding while you were setting your vows, were you
Speaker 1: wearing a love Man shirt? No, I should have. We
Speaker 1: wanted to name one of the drinks love Man, but
Speaker 1: then it was actually, I'll tell a quick story, So
Speaker 1: Caitlyn came. Caitlyn and Jason and I forgot that I
Speaker 1: had said this on my first season of Paradise, but
Speaker 1: we were going to name one of the drinks especially
Speaker 1: to drinks love Man, and then apparently my first season
Speaker 1: of Paradise, I said I'm not love Man anymore because
Speaker 1: that was for Caitlin, And then I remembered it while
Speaker 1: making the drinks and I was like, well, we can't
Speaker 1: name one of the drinks that anymore. Um, but but yeah.
Speaker 1: One more thing about the way I was so happy
Speaker 1: was in Rhode Island. You know, I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: people came and loved Newport beat. It's happy. Man. It
Speaker 1: was like, it's like the type of town like if
Speaker 1: you were to pull someone out of any country in
Speaker 1: the world and you're like, you need to show them
Speaker 1: a town that that mimics America, that like that shows
Speaker 1: you in America looks like right. I just feel like
Speaker 1: it's like a very quintessential American town where you can
Speaker 1: just like be there and be like, okay, like this
Speaker 1: is like a it's like the Victorian houses or whatever,
Speaker 1: and like the ruffles with the red, wet and blue
Speaker 1: on them, on the white picket fences on the top
Speaker 1: floor of the house. I don't know. It was mind blowing.
Speaker 1: Is beautiful. It is, man, It's just home, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's why I loved I'm so happy that we
Speaker 1: were able to have our wedding you know home, uh,
Speaker 1: and I'm so glad everybody loved me port and and
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. And I'm so glad the weather was nice
Speaker 1: and cooperated because that was really a game changer. And
Speaker 1: that was another thing that I loved about the entire
Speaker 1: wedding process was making sure that Rhode Island, my home,
Speaker 1: was incorporated in it, even with uh, you know, we
Speaker 1: had Dunkin Donuts there where people took Shake Jack was there,
Speaker 1: which is obviously West Coast, but shake Shack that we
Speaker 1: didn't know Shake Shack was coming. They surprised us, so
Speaker 1: shout out to shake Shack for doing that. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then like everybody took professional photos, which they all received,
Speaker 1: but they also were I don't know how they did this.
Speaker 1: They took the photos and we're able to print them
Speaker 1: on donuts, and then everybody got a donut leaving the wedding,
Speaker 1: which was spectacular and delicious. And then we had like
Speaker 1: a Dell's lemonade dessert, which is very uh quintessential in
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. The bartender Adam as one of my really
Speaker 1: good friends who I used to work with at the
Speaker 1: Providence Oyster Bar, and he's the best bartender I ever
Speaker 1: have seen. And he came and bartended the wedding because
Speaker 1: I wanted everybody to have like a V I P
Speaker 1: experience and I knew he would provide that. Um and
Speaker 1: just like to have all those like little details in there,
Speaker 1: and they were far more than I can't remember now,
Speaker 1: but just to really like hit home with something that
Speaker 1: meant a ton to me. Well, we love it, we
Speaker 1: love you. It's great that you're able to experience that.
Speaker 1: We're grateful to be part of that as well. No, no,
Speaker 1: I know I love you both, guys, And uh, I'm
Speaker 1: really glad. Yeah, you're married. Now I'm married. I'm hustitating.
Speaker 1: You upgraded from sucking at dating to hopefully not sucking
Speaker 1: at being married. Yes, this week is your one month anniversary. Hi,
Speaker 1: it was yesterday. Yesterday was four weeks since we got married.
Speaker 1: You made it a month, made it a month. That's
Speaker 1: I mean, if I was a betting man, I know
Speaker 1: anybody who lose money in this room right now, Let's
Speaker 1: be honest. Easton's pulling out his wallet right now. I'm
Speaker 1: happy for you guys. Anyways, will definitely be drawn back
Speaker 1: to this quite a bit, just because obviously it's super
Speaker 1: interesting and it's a big part of your life now.
Speaker 1: So UM, but before well, I guess not before anything.
Speaker 1: We are going to move on to the next segment. Dean.
Speaker 1: We need to talk about you because you've been on
Speaker 1: a TV show. You just came back to it. You
Speaker 1: asked the woman, I don't know if you love her,
Speaker 1: but you really like her to leave paradise with you,
Speaker 1: and we find out the answer when we get back.
Speaker 1: So I can totally relate to this. So I've recently
Speaker 1: um made a little bit of a story and an
Speaker 1: ad out there on Instagram talking about how I wanted
Speaker 1: to hire some interns. And let me tell you, it
Speaker 1: is hard to recruit people. It's a definite challenge. And
Speaker 1: as Quotable co founder Gretchen Hebner discovered they needed to
Speaker 1: hire a game artist for her education tech company, she
Speaker 1: knew it was it wasn't gonna be an easy find,
Speaker 1: so she decided to go with zip recruiter dot com.
Speaker 1: Zip recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you, It finds
Speaker 1: them for you. It's technology identifies people with the right
Speaker 1: experience and invites them to apply to your job, so
Speaker 1: you get qualified candidates really quick. Gretchen posted her job
Speaker 1: on on zip recruiter and said she was impressed with
Speaker 1: how quickly she found qualified applicants. She also used the
Speaker 1: recruiter screening questions to filter her candidates so she could
Speaker 1: focus on the best ones. And that is how Gretchen
Speaker 1: now has a new game artist in less than two weeks.
Speaker 1: And this is a true story. Like I said, I've
Speaker 1: been looking for interns and I know how hard it
Speaker 1: is to find the right fit. With results like that,
Speaker 1: there's it's no wonder. Four out of five employers who
Speaker 1: pulls on zip recruiter get a quality candidate through the
Speaker 1: site within the first day. That's amazing. Within the first day,
Speaker 1: It's pretty crazy. That's why zip recruiter is amazing. And
Speaker 1: you can see why zip recruiter is effective for businesses
Speaker 1: of all sizes big, small, medium, van size. Try zip
Speaker 1: recruiter for free at zip recruiter dot com slash date.
Speaker 1: That's zip recruiter dot com, slash d a t ease,
Speaker 1: zip recruiter dot com slash date The Smartest way to hire.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to help I suck a dating Vanessa Dean
Speaker 1: myself all in studio and Dean, we have to talk
Speaker 1: about you, because now we've seen you leave Paradise, come
Speaker 1: back to Paradise, asked for Kalin back after you broke
Speaker 1: up with her, when you gave her the birthday cake.
Speaker 1: A lot of things going out and a lot of
Speaker 1: just a lot of things happen. You have to remind
Speaker 1: them of the birthday cake thing, the birthday break up.
Speaker 1: Was it really a bad well, I thought it was
Speaker 1: nice to give her the cake. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: also think that was overblown, the whole stop stop with
Speaker 1: the mic thing. Yeah, sorry, I just want to get
Speaker 1: in position. He's getting nervous. Um. I I thought the
Speaker 1: whole birthday cake was overblown, Like at least you were truthful.
Speaker 1: What do you the birthday cake with the whole leaving
Speaker 1: on her birthday? I don't know why people, I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess it wasn't. Let me just set the record
Speaker 1: straight because there seems to be a lot of miscommunication
Speaker 1: about what actually happened. I dumped her at three am
Speaker 1: the day after her birthday. It was no longer her birthday,
Speaker 1: and I am so sick of being criticized for dumping
Speaker 1: a girl on her birthday when it wasn't even her birthday.
Speaker 1: But I guess the question is should you have just what?
Speaker 1: What would have been worse you either telling the truth
Speaker 1: in the moment or holding off till the next day
Speaker 1: and then possibly maybe not getting another chance to be
Speaker 1: honest there was So I I'll say this, I think
Speaker 1: you did the right thing. I didn't go into the
Speaker 1: night expecting to break up with Caitlin that night. I
Speaker 1: think I can share that what made you want to
Speaker 1: break up with her? Well, Vanessa, I'll get there. I'm
Speaker 1: building it up a little bit. I'm trying. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to tell story here. I'm a storyteller. I went to
Speaker 1: that night. I guess I went into let's let's reverse
Speaker 1: engineers all the way from the beginning. So I walked
Speaker 1: down to paradise that I didn't want to be in
Speaker 1: a relationship with anyone. I was very clear about that,
Speaker 1: not only with Kalin, but with everyone on the beach,
Speaker 1: the contestants, the producers. The entire time. I was like, yeah, like,
Speaker 1: I'm just here. I'm not gonna leave as a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna leave with a girlfriend. So obviously it
Speaker 1: begs the question why I even go to Paradise, which
Speaker 1: we've talked about before. I went because it was fun.
Speaker 1: It was that fun thing to do, and there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with doing that. For example, when you go on
Speaker 1: a date with someone, sometimes you always don't go into
Speaker 1: a date with the expectations, oh, I'm going to develop
Speaker 1: a relationship with this person. You go because you meet
Speaker 1: someone and it's fun and you never know what's going
Speaker 1: to happen. R Why would you say not to an
Speaker 1: opportunity just because you like, it's silly to say no
Speaker 1: to things I didn't have exactly, Like, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: I didn't miss out on anything by not going, So
Speaker 1: what's the point of not going? Anyways, that's the point.
Speaker 1: It was a very well known fact that me being
Speaker 1: on that beach was just there to have a good experience.
Speaker 1: And you're honest, from the very moment you walked down
Speaker 1: with everyone with Kalin, with the content estence with the producers,
Speaker 1: everyone knew that. And it got to a point where,
Speaker 1: you know, at this point after dumping Kalin, which I
Speaker 1: think we talked about it on a podcast a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks ago, was you know, I was on the
Speaker 1: beach for like six days Kitlin was getting really really
Speaker 1: invested in the relationship. I liked her, but I knew
Speaker 1: very well that I wasn't going to leave the beach
Speaker 1: in a relationship with her. And because of that and knowing,
Speaker 1: I guess I sho could say this too. Was like,
Speaker 1: even within the first ten minutes of meeting Kylin the
Speaker 1: first time, she told me that the person she was
Speaker 1: most excited to meet was Connor s. And I appreciated
Speaker 1: the honesty. I appreciated her telling me that, and I
Speaker 1: knew that Connor s still was slotted to come down
Speaker 1: to that beach at some point, And I knew that
Speaker 1: if I was on the beach with her and him
Speaker 1: at the same time, she wouldn't be able to fully
Speaker 1: explore that relationship that she's so clearly expressed that she
Speaker 1: was interested in exploring. And I knew that Connor want
Speaker 1: liked her, like I knew that they would have hit
Speaker 1: it off. Aknew that they would have got along well,
Speaker 1: but they wouldn't, like I said, wouldn't have been able
Speaker 1: to fully explore that with my presence on the beach.
Speaker 1: Because of that, because of my knowledge of not wanting
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship, I was like you know what,
Speaker 1: it doesn't make sense for me to stay here. It
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense for me to allow your feelings to
Speaker 1: continue to grow and grow and grow for me when
Speaker 1: I know that I'm not going to get to the
Speaker 1: place that you need me to be. I know that
Speaker 1: you're gonna like this other guy, and I know you've
Speaker 1: been wanting to meet him for a long time. So
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna bow out now allow you to explore
Speaker 1: that connection. I left, uh, and then obviously I regretted it.
Speaker 1: I thought about her a lot. I drove to the
Speaker 1: Grand Canyon. I reflected, I thought about things. I thought
Speaker 1: about how if I want to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: I'm never going to be good at being in a
Speaker 1: relationship until I like practice and I try and I
Speaker 1: work on these things. It's a it's a muscle. If
Speaker 1: you don't work out the muscle, it's not gonna get
Speaker 1: strong enough to ever right. Like I said in the show,
Speaker 1: if I wait until I'm perfect to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone.
Speaker 1: I really do believe that. Um and so, I called
Speaker 1: one of the producers and I was like, hey, like
Speaker 1: I'm sad, like I don't. I don't. I think I
Speaker 1: made the wrong decision, and I guess we can we
Speaker 1: can actually go back a little further. That night, on
Speaker 1: her birthday, I was talking to one of my friends
Speaker 1: and we were talking about next steps. They were like, well, like,
Speaker 1: what's going on, Like what are you doing here? Why
Speaker 1: are you here? You're making this You're you're not making
Speaker 1: this girl, but like this girl is like falling and
Speaker 1: falling further for you and further for you. And I
Speaker 1: was like, you're right, like I can see this like
Speaker 1: getting to the end and me like absolutely crushing her
Speaker 1: because I've made it very clear don't want to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship, and so we concluded that now would
Speaker 1: be the best time for me to leave. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think going into paradise with the idea that you're not
Speaker 1: going to leave in a relationship, I think is fine.
Speaker 1: But once you're down there and you start developing a
Speaker 1: relationship with someone, then it would have been wrong of
Speaker 1: you to stay and continue that relationship if you still
Speaker 1: didn't see you ending up in a committed relationship after
Speaker 1: the show, and I was so said in my conviction
Speaker 1: of not leaving in a relationship that I wouldn't let
Speaker 1: anything stand in that way like that was what UH
Speaker 1: was paramount for me. I was like, I'm not leaving
Speaker 1: in a relationship. I don't want to be in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm not leaving in a relationship no matter what my
Speaker 1: feelings developed like on the beach. And so the reason
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, But the reason I say that too that
Speaker 1: I don't think it's bad for anyone to go and
Speaker 1: not thinking they're gonna end up an relationship is be
Speaker 1: is most of the time people are wrong. And I've
Speaker 1: noticed that so many times, either my friends in everyday
Speaker 1: life or going on the show say like, I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna leave in a relationship, I'm not going to date
Speaker 1: this person, so on and so forth, and then they
Speaker 1: go on a date with someone they're like, Wow, actually
Speaker 1: I don't really like this person, and they were wrong, right,
Speaker 1: That's why I say that, And it's better that I
Speaker 1: almost prefer it to UH to meet someone that doesn't
Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship, because then when you
Speaker 1: enter into a relationship with them, you know, like they
Speaker 1: want to be in the relationship because it's you and
Speaker 1: not because they want to be in a relationship. It's
Speaker 1: almost more romantic in that sense, in my opinion. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I fly back, I go to Sandy, I fly back
Speaker 1: to San Diego. I called my producer friend. It's like, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: I think I made the wrong choice. I'm really upset.
Speaker 1: He says, just like, take some time to think about it.
Speaker 1: If you wake up tomorrow morning and you still feel
Speaker 1: this way, give me a call and we'll fly you
Speaker 1: back down to Mexico. So I drove to the Grand Canyon,
Speaker 1: spent a couple hours out there, just like thinking about things.
Speaker 1: Driving obviously you can clear your mind. Um slept on it.
Speaker 1: Called him up the next morning. Actually that was the
Speaker 1: morning that I flew here. So I called him up
Speaker 1: and I was like, I regret my decision and I
Speaker 1: want to fly back and see if Klin will reconsider
Speaker 1: and take me back. And so he goes, great, I
Speaker 1: got you a book on a flight. You're leaving tomorrow morning,
Speaker 1: eight am, whatever it is. So I come here, record
Speaker 1: a couple of podcasts with you guys, and fly back.
Speaker 1: And honestly, it's funny to say this because it worked
Speaker 1: out perfectly for me. It couldn't have worked out any
Speaker 1: better for me. I missed a wedding that I, you know,
Speaker 1: Chris and Crystal are great, didn't really want to go
Speaker 1: to their wedding. Not only that multiple excess of mine
Speaker 1: were at that wedding that I just didn't want to see.
Speaker 1: Kaylin at the same time, got to explore a relationship
Speaker 1: with a guy that she was really interested, unencumbered of
Speaker 1: my presence, so she had didn't have to like have
Speaker 1: me around seeing you know, like worrying about my feelings
Speaker 1: while she could explore her relationship with him. I gotta
Speaker 1: come back and record two episodes of our podcast. Didn't
Speaker 1: miss a single week of our podcast. It just it
Speaker 1: did it. It couldn't have worked out any better. Scheduling
Speaker 1: was on point that way. It literally blew my mind,
Speaker 1: like how the stars just aligned for all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: And obviously, like let's say I went back and I
Speaker 1: didn't get uh what I what I went for, which
Speaker 1: was the relationship with Kalin at least. And you kind
Speaker 1: of uh consoled me a lot on this before I
Speaker 1: left too. You were like, dude, just do it, and
Speaker 1: like if she says no, at least you'll know. And
Speaker 1: if she says yes, then that's great because you want
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship but if you if she
Speaker 1: says no, like you know that you put yourself out there.
Speaker 1: You tried your best and it didn't work out, and
Speaker 1: you can have no regrets about that exactly. And MY
Speaker 1: big point when it was your decision, when you told
Speaker 1: me this, I thought it was a great idea for
Speaker 1: you to go back, was that you didn't want to
Speaker 1: go back into Paradise. You wanted to go and say, Kalin,
Speaker 1: I want you to leave with me now. And I
Speaker 1: thought that was a big difference because if you went
Speaker 1: back down there and said, hey, I want to come
Speaker 1: back into Paradise and continue dating you, I don't know
Speaker 1: if that would have been a good look. And if
Speaker 1: I'm being honest, I don't know if she would have
Speaker 1: taken you back at that point. But I think you
Speaker 1: going into Paradise and saying I don't want to be
Speaker 1: back here. I just want you, and I want you
Speaker 1: to leave with me so we can see if this
Speaker 1: works outside of here. It was I think that made
Speaker 1: her really believe that you were there only for her.
Speaker 1: It was it was a joint decision between me and production.
Speaker 1: It wasn't. It was one of the things where they
Speaker 1: were like, this is how it should be like, this
Speaker 1: is what you should do for the same reason that
Speaker 1: you just stated. Like, they were like, you need to
Speaker 1: add scar to leave with you on the beach. You're
Speaker 1: not allowed to like stay on the beach and stay
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's fine, I understand the reasoning
Speaker 1: for that. Let's do that. That makes a lot of sense. Obviously,
Speaker 1: it has a lot more pressure for her because then
Speaker 1: she has to leave the beach. And yeah, Kalin agreed
Speaker 1: to leave the beach with me. And what's funny is like,
Speaker 1: obviously I ship my mustache off. I wore all look
Speaker 1: like damn stud I even I was talking to you
Speaker 1: about this off air. When you walked down those stairs
Speaker 1: and you had that dark navy short sleeve button down
Speaker 1: on black, it was black. Excuse me, look navy black
Speaker 1: button down and just the hair slicked back long, luscious,
Speaker 1: it's at the perfect length, mustache shaved. You walked down
Speaker 1: the stairs. I was like, Dean could be coming for
Speaker 1: me and I would go with him. You know, I
Speaker 1: was dressed for my own funeral, That's why I was
Speaker 1: wearing all black. But I showed up and actually when
Speaker 1: I was walking down the stairs onto the sand, it
Speaker 1: wasn't the normal entrance, which is like basically centered on
Speaker 1: the beach, right, like you're familiar with the one that
Speaker 1: you walked down when you're entering the beach. The first time,
Speaker 1: it was the one all the way at the south
Speaker 1: end of the beach, and so I had to walk
Speaker 1: around and I had this long, dramatic walk up to
Speaker 1: the bed, and like people were like pointing at me
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. And as I was walking down
Speaker 1: the stairs, I was like, I don't think I should
Speaker 1: be doing this right now, Like this is a mistake.
Speaker 1: I regret being here because I was like terrified that
Speaker 1: I was there and she was going to say no,
Speaker 1: and like I wanted her say yes and it would
Speaker 1: just be embarrassing. But I kept reminding myself. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is the right thing to be doing right now. Um.
Speaker 1: And so I talked to her, and I would say,
Speaker 1: almost immediately after talking to her the first time, like
Speaker 1: like I said on the show too, like I can
Speaker 1: typically get a pretty good beat on people and I
Speaker 1: have like a good way to read the room. Whatever.
Speaker 1: But I was still pretty split. Although I was more
Speaker 1: confident that she would leave with me than she wouldn't,
Speaker 1: they were still like there were still doubts in my
Speaker 1: mind that she would stay. And my favorite moment in
Speaker 1: Paradise history, I think happened on this episode. So Connor
Speaker 1: is sitting on the day bed with a couple of
Speaker 1: people and one of those people are Christina and this
Speaker 1: wasn't this episode his last episode, and Connor was like,
Speaker 1: I think she's gonna stay with me, like I don't
Speaker 1: think she's gonna leave a Dean. And then Christina looks
Speaker 1: over at Connor and says, have you met Dean? And
Speaker 1: she goes and he goes no, and she goes okay,
Speaker 1: And it was just like that moment where like Christina,
Speaker 1: who's been through it, who has day to do in
Speaker 1: the past, knows how charming you are. It was just
Speaker 1: like such a real moment where else like that is
Speaker 1: the coolest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Speaker 1: I did. I chuckled and I saw that because it
Speaker 1: was just so good. Okay, as if like you're dead
Speaker 1: man walking bro. I saw that. I was like, I
Speaker 1: was like kind of weirdly complimentary of Christine. It was
Speaker 1: the most It was the biggest comment anybody could possibly
Speaker 1: say his Connor is a good looking guy has a
Speaker 1: lot going for hims, very sweet, very nice. I like
Speaker 1: Connor a lot, but like in that moment, it was
Speaker 1: liked him a lot until I started talking to about
Speaker 1: my van, and then I didn't like him at all.
Speaker 1: I saw that it was that there was like a
Speaker 1: little twitter. I thought that was a joke, but I
Speaker 1: can't tell. Well he I mean in the episode he's
Speaker 1: just saying Deans a can loser. He used to be
Speaker 1: like get out of here, which I'm sure like he
Speaker 1: was being fed those lines. Yeah, that's probably prompted too,
Speaker 1: so you never know if that's actually how he's feeling
Speaker 1: or if he's just being prompted. What's funny is I
Speaker 1: met him in person at the reunion show chairs next
Speaker 1: week and he was like, dude, I want to see
Speaker 1: your vein, Like it sounds so sick, like you live
Speaker 1: on an awesome lifestyle. I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: say dumb stuff when they're angry. I egos being bruised exactly.
Speaker 1: We've all been jerks in that moment, so like, doesn't
Speaker 1: he shouldn't say those things? Like he was acting like
Speaker 1: a jerk in that moment. But it's understand as a
Speaker 1: viewer because I've obviously never been on Paradise, but as
Speaker 1: a viewer, was it only one week that you were
Speaker 1: on Paradise and then you decided to leave? Because for
Speaker 1: people who are watching, and really feels like an eternity
Speaker 1: that you're on the beach together. I think the first
Speaker 1: time upon my first arrival of my first date with
Speaker 1: Kalin to me breaking up with her on her birthday
Speaker 1: was six days of the beach, so not very long.
Speaker 1: Granted you're spending every waking moment with each other because
Speaker 1: you have nothing really else to do. I would say
Speaker 1: like five to six days, maybe maybe five is more accurate.
Speaker 1: And then obviously when I was back on the beach,
Speaker 1: I was on the beach for like an hour. I
Speaker 1: had a conversation with Kaitlin, she left, had the conversation
Speaker 1: with Connor, she came back, had the conversation with me,
Speaker 1: She went back and had the conversation with Connor, and
Speaker 1: then she left with me. I don't remember the specific
Speaker 1: logistics of that, but I do remember seeing from a
Speaker 1: distance she was like like I talked to her, which
Speaker 1: I was kind of surprised she even took the time
Speaker 1: to come talk to me, talk with me, and she
Speaker 1: made it clear after the fact. She was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I wasn't gonna come talk to you, Like I
Speaker 1: wasn't even going to entertain the conversation with you because
Speaker 1: I was just like still piste off at you. But
Speaker 1: then she said that she saw that I shaved the
Speaker 1: mustache and she was like, okay, cool, I can talk
Speaker 1: to him. And then and then she goes back and
Speaker 1: she like pulls Connor aside to go talk to him,
Speaker 1: and Connors like walking away shirtless, and I like see
Speaker 1: like more back muscles than I've ever seen on a
Speaker 1: person in my life. And I was like, man, that
Speaker 1: guy is literally a hundred yards away from him, and
Speaker 1: I saw his muscles so finely and so acutely. I
Speaker 1: was like, this guy is There's no way she's gonna
Speaker 1: leave with me. She's gonna leave with this guy. So
Speaker 1: it was like this weird back and forth and I
Speaker 1: was so confused and I wasn't sure what was going
Speaker 1: to happen, and whal Kaitlin was talking to Connor, Christina
Speaker 1: came over to talk to me. And when Christina came
Speaker 1: over to talk to me, I was like, just just
Speaker 1: you have no reason, you have no no point being here, like,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be here talking to me right now. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know if you can tell
Speaker 1: by watching the episode, but I was like super dismissive
Speaker 1: and very short with Christina being there because it just
Speaker 1: didn't make sense for I didn't involve her and she
Speaker 1: was involving her. She was inserting herself and something that
Speaker 1: didn't involve her exactly. And like, yes, of course Christina
Speaker 1: and I have dated before, so maybe she knows better
Speaker 1: than anyone on that beach what it's like to date me.
Speaker 1: But I just didn't see the purpose of her coming over.
Speaker 1: And it would have been weird if she was having
Speaker 1: a conversation about potentially leaving with a guy and you
Speaker 1: went over and talk to Christina was and started like her,
Speaker 1: it would it would be it would, yeah, it would.
Speaker 1: So I didn't like it, very weird. So if you
Speaker 1: saw if you saw me being short or dismissive, that's
Speaker 1: why I just like it didn't make sense to me
Speaker 1: why she was there. I didn't I went there to
Speaker 1: talk to Kilin. I didn't go there and to talk
Speaker 1: to Christina. So I just didn't. I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be talking to her, you know what, I mean, I
Speaker 1: get what Christina was trying to do in a sense,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, it just it wasn't her place. Um.
Speaker 1: And then what happened. So how did it feel once
Speaker 1: Klin said I'll leave with you? Um? It felt obviously
Speaker 1: it felt great. I got I got what I wanted, uh,
Speaker 1: which is always a good feeling. I think that she
Speaker 1: got what she wanted, you know, going all the way back,
Speaker 1: Caitlin deemed me a year and a half ago to
Speaker 1: try and meet up for coffee. Obviously like nothing transpired
Speaker 1: between them and going to Paradise, but like she expressed
Speaker 1: interest a long time ago, and so for her, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to speak for her, but I'm I guess
Speaker 1: I am right now. She wanted to, she wanted to me,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna do it anyway. Like she's getting what
Speaker 1: she wanted to. And so it was like it was
Speaker 1: a it was a weird like fairy taleish romantic ending
Speaker 1: to a weird way of going about dating each other.
Speaker 1: And yes, like maybe being able to remove myself from
Speaker 1: Paradise for a couple of days and like drive and
Speaker 1: like explore my thoughts and like talk to my friends
Speaker 1: and see what they thought it allowed me to like
Speaker 1: have more clarity and perspective on a situation, to let
Speaker 1: me go back and be like, look, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to tell you that I have all the answers to
Speaker 1: this relationship. It's probably gonna be difficult and we're probably
Speaker 1: gonna stumble through a lot of this stuff. We're not
Speaker 1: very similar in a lot of ways, but I want
Speaker 1: to try, and if you're willing to try with me,
Speaker 1: I think that way you should give it a go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I I think the biggest part about jumping
Speaker 1: into a relationship is knowing that you're never going to
Speaker 1: have the answers. You know, a commitment is choice. You're
Speaker 1: choosing to be someone, excuse me, you're choosing to be
Speaker 1: with someone. And so I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: like yourself, Deem, sometimes when you feel like you don't
Speaker 1: have all the answers, or if there is a small
Speaker 1: amount of doubt in your head, that immediately makes you
Speaker 1: run away because that scares you. But the fact is
Speaker 1: most likely in every relationship there will be those moments.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're only human, and so I think it's
Speaker 1: really I thought it was when you first told me
Speaker 1: you were gonna do it. I loved it and I
Speaker 1: still love it, and I think it was the right decision.
Speaker 1: And I think it was the best thing for you
Speaker 1: and Kalin because you never you would have never known
Speaker 1: what could have possibly happened had you not gone back
Speaker 1: down to Paradise. And look at you now. Now you
Speaker 1: guys are together dating. It's been two months, and I
Speaker 1: thought about it too. So a couple of my good
Speaker 1: friends removed from, well, one good friend from the show,
Speaker 1: one of my best friends removed from Like that doesn't
Speaker 1: that wasn't part the part of the show. Ever. I
Speaker 1: talked to both of them for like quite a while,
Speaker 1: like a couple of hours while I was driving, you know,
Speaker 1: obviously just what you do is just driving talk. And
Speaker 1: both of them were like, don't go back, man, Like,
Speaker 1: it doesn't make sense for you to go back. Why
Speaker 1: would you go back. You can just d m her
Speaker 1: and talk to her when she gets off the show.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking about I was like, well, no,
Speaker 1: Like I saw how I saw a how interested she
Speaker 1: was in meeting Connor the first time, like she expressed
Speaker 1: that to me. B I saw how quickly our relationship
Speaker 1: grew over such a short amount of time, similar amount
Speaker 1: of similar time frame for her and him, and so
Speaker 1: like chance they leave the show in a relationship together.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, yeah, I could wait until
Speaker 1: the show's over and done filming, but she's probably gonna
Speaker 1: be dating someone. And then it's like, also, if a
Speaker 1: relationship started on TV, I think it almost kind of
Speaker 1: makes more sense for me to come back and be like,
Speaker 1: this is like this sort of unfinished business and we're
Speaker 1: gonna it started here, so we need to finish it
Speaker 1: here as well. There'd be like a lot of unanswered
Speaker 1: questions if it if it happened off, it would be
Speaker 1: like a much more tricky and hairrier And so I
Speaker 1: was like, the only logical thing for me to do
Speaker 1: right now is to go back. Yeah, and the most
Speaker 1: valuable thing we have is time. Why waste it? Why
Speaker 1: waste time in you thinking, Oh, I'll just I'll wait
Speaker 1: till she gets back and see what happens, And I
Speaker 1: was a lot can happen. It was it was like
Speaker 1: it was like fifty for a long time too. I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I'll just wait. I even sent her
Speaker 1: a long I sent her a long message on Instagram actually,
Speaker 1: and then I was like that, I'm sorry language I
Speaker 1: said that, and uh, and yeah, enjoyed it. I enjoyed
Speaker 1: when you told her that you're you wanted to stop
Speaker 1: running away from good things in your life. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is a side of Dean that we all love,
Speaker 1: that we all see and now he's starting to see
Speaker 1: it in him too. And I remember when we did
Speaker 1: that one episode when we were in San Francisco. I
Speaker 1: had like a bunch of notes about when you left,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god. And then for me,
Speaker 1: I think when it stunk for me, I remember who
Speaker 1: said it on the episode. Someone was like, oh, that's Deaned.
Speaker 1: That's Dean though, like they it was like when you
Speaker 1: had left and you had broke her heart and whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I don't remember who had said it,
Speaker 1: but anyway, I was like, I hate the fact that
Speaker 1: you gave yourself that reputation. I hate the fact that
Speaker 1: you allow other people to talk about you like that
Speaker 1: when we all know, the people who know you and
Speaker 1: love you all know that you are so worthy of
Speaker 1: this love and so worthy of a person who's going
Speaker 1: to stick by you and leave a dating show with
Speaker 1: you when you know she was interested in someone else too.
Speaker 1: So it like you said, everything did happen for a
Speaker 1: reason and all worked out in the way that it did. Um,
Speaker 1: but I hope to give yeah, I know, I just
Speaker 1: hope the takeaway for you was that you are deserving
Speaker 1: of this. I appreciate that, Vanessa, thank you. I don't
Speaker 1: really know how to properly respond to that, but I
Speaker 1: did make a point. I even told calin this after
Speaker 1: we left. I was like, honest, because we left with
Speaker 1: maybe like six or seven days of filming remaining on
Speaker 1: the filming schedule, and part of me was like, if
Speaker 1: she doesn't if she didn't want to leave the beach
Speaker 1: because she wanted to stay to get more screen time
Speaker 1: quote unquote or whatever, you know what I mean, then
Speaker 1: that's all the answer that I would need anyways, because
Speaker 1: she wanted more screen time, then she's not the girl
Speaker 1: that I want to be doing. Anyway. I think by
Speaker 1: you going in Paradise, you created so much clarity from
Speaker 1: the situation that would not have been there had you
Speaker 1: simply sent a d M. When she got back, I'm
Speaker 1: so surprised that production even allowed me to return, to
Speaker 1: be honest, they were they were like obviously encouraging of it.
Speaker 1: They're like yeah, if you like the girl, come back
Speaker 1: and get her. But I was like, that's crazy to
Speaker 1: me that you guys are even letting me do this.
Speaker 1: Why it's it's drama. Who are you talking about? It's
Speaker 1: good drama. But when have you ever seen a contestant
Speaker 1: leave and then come back? I'm just saying it's I
Speaker 1: don't think that's ever really happened before. When did you
Speaker 1: ever see a girl in a relationship with another girl?
Speaker 1: Was a lot of firsts in this uh and season.
Speaker 1: We're pioneers. Um so yeah, So we left together and
Speaker 1: then we got back, spent a couple of nights in
Speaker 1: the van, and then talk about all that stuff right now, right,
Speaker 1: we can talk about whatever you want. And then we
Speaker 1: traveled to the thing about me and Kitlin is like
Speaker 1: we're so different, we'll have some relationship. Been since you
Speaker 1: left Paradise together. I mean, it's been great. So it's like,
Speaker 1: obviously it's been it's been turbulent at times, like she's
Speaker 1: been through her fair share of the drama this season,
Speaker 1: and that kid sucks having to be part of that
Speaker 1: third from like a third party perspective, but obviously I'm
Speaker 1: supporting her through that and I'm like trying to remind
Speaker 1: her that there's a lot of good that's come from
Speaker 1: the season. Oh yeah, yeah, I know, we're talking about
Speaker 1: I got it, um, And so like it's hard to
Speaker 1: see her like handle lot of stuff. And obviously I'm
Speaker 1: going to bat for her because she's my girlfriend, and
Speaker 1: um kind of feels like forever ago. It does feel
Speaker 1: like forever go. And I kept telling her. I was like,
Speaker 1: people are gonna forget about this in like a week
Speaker 1: and two weeks. I know, but in that moment, that's
Speaker 1: not what you want to hear. In that moment when
Speaker 1: you're going through that drama, it's like you think everyone's
Speaker 1: reading about it, you think everyone's talking about you, and yeah,
Speaker 1: like BB five percent of the followers that are following you,
Speaker 1: no one talk are talking about it. But that's not
Speaker 1: what we want to hear. And it's tough to be
Speaker 1: rational in that moment because yes, I agree, everybody forgets
Speaker 1: about it in two weeks, but in that moment, it's
Speaker 1: your world. No, I agree, I understand, but it's not Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you're right, but it's not easy. And so we've
Speaker 1: we've like traveled a bunch together. Individuals were pretty different,
Speaker 1: like she we're working on her adventurous side, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's it's been great, but just as
Speaker 1: humans were a little bit different, and so it's just
Speaker 1: as like the discovery phase of like what do you like?
Speaker 1: What don't you like? What can we do? What can't
Speaker 1: we do? Yeah, exactly, it's fun and every couple is
Speaker 1: going to have their disconnects, Like every couple is not
Speaker 1: going to mesh well perfectly together and like sink right
Speaker 1: into each other's lives like I like to live in
Speaker 1: a van and rock climb and she, you know, lives
Speaker 1: in West Hollywood and likes to hang out with their friends,
Speaker 1: which is great, And I just like it's a learning
Speaker 1: process to learn how to be supportive and present for
Speaker 1: her and vice versa her for me. Um, but things
Speaker 1: are going well, Like it's it's you know, I think
Speaker 1: I went back to the show to basically show that
Speaker 1: I'm committed to figuring it out. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: you'll learn. I mean, trust me, you've been in relationships before.
Speaker 1: With committed relationships comes compromise and sacrifice. But that's not
Speaker 1: necessarily I feel like there's a stigma in those two
Speaker 1: words that it has to be a negative thing when
Speaker 1: it really doesn't. And that's something I've discovered over the
Speaker 1: past almost two years now, uh of really learning that
Speaker 1: compromises can be a positive thing. I don't know it
Speaker 1: kind of I think it shows a different side of
Speaker 1: me than I've really ever known before, if that makes sense.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of the compromises that we've made
Speaker 1: for each other. Well, what I'm talking about is, like
Speaker 1: you current, like you want to live in a van
Speaker 1: and travel and do all these things, but they're gonna
Speaker 1: be times where she needs you to be somewhere and
Speaker 1: you have to be there because you're her boyfriend. And
Speaker 1: so that's something to me that's a compromise. But it
Speaker 1: shows stability, it shows uh responsibility, you know. And so I,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I look at that as a positive
Speaker 1: rather than a negative. Um, so hold on to clear
Speaker 1: the air the air for a second. So Dean air
Speaker 1: mundy deed unclear? No it's not. But I'm gonna ask
Speaker 1: you a question right now, and I just need a
Speaker 1: verbal yes or verbal note. Dean Deanie babies Dean Ungler.
Speaker 1: Since the beginning of this part cast help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating with Dean Anglert a year and a half ago.
Speaker 1: You've been a single man. Are you in a relationship? Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: But I've been in a relationship before on this podcast, Leslie, Oh, Leslie, damnit?
Speaker 1: I forgot about Leslie. Well, this is the last time committed.
Speaker 1: Still exciting, and I have a girlfriend. I will say
Speaker 1: that we've I don't know if I should cheerless or not,
Speaker 1: but well, we've taken the biggest step I've ever taken
Speaker 1: in a relation. You say that, Wait, really, and wait,
Speaker 1: what's the biggest step? The biggest step I've ever taken
Speaker 1: in a relationship. And I don't know if you don't
Speaker 1: even know if you and actually have taken this step yet.
Speaker 1: I mean, I can hope. So I don't think Vanessa
Speaker 1: and Josh have taken it either. I'm sure Mark and
Speaker 1: his wife and Eastern and his wife have. But you
Speaker 1: guys in a thruble or something? What's going on? Kyleen
Speaker 1: and I, as of yesterday are on a cell phone
Speaker 1: plan together? Oh my god, Wow, commitment. It's a two
Speaker 1: year commitment. Two years you signed on the dotted line. Huh,
Speaker 1: so it's uh, we're both on Verizon together, dude, that's
Speaker 1: a more of a commitment than proposing to someone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's a big step, Verizon. But that's how are
Speaker 1: you on a plan with the I'm not. Actually, I'm
Speaker 1: not on plan with my wife. You're not the heck up?
Speaker 1: Actually wait really wow? Wait? What how are you? How
Speaker 1: are you not on the same plan? Takes care of me? Okay,
Speaker 1: that's well, Dean, congratulations, I'm being on the same phone bill.
Speaker 1: I keep telling it. I'm like, what happens when we
Speaker 1: break up? Because that's gonna be weirds just turning on
Speaker 1: a dark mood. So yeah, I don't really know how
Speaker 1: much of it I can share again because we still
Speaker 1: have the reunion episode next week, which we're we we
Speaker 1: won't talk about next week, maybe talk about in Vegas
Speaker 1: the following week. I don't know if maybe she's gonna
Speaker 1: get upset with me for sharing this stuff because technically
Speaker 1: we still beginning. Can you have her on and you
Speaker 1: guys talk about it together. I'm never going to have
Speaker 1: her as a guest on this podcast. She's coming on.
Speaker 1: That's unegotiable. The clock that's non negotiable. I'll side into one.
Speaker 1: If you really wanted that to happen, why would you
Speaker 1: ever say that on air, it's non negotiable. Go friends
Speaker 1: come in here. Yeah, exactly, and they're past Sorry language,
Speaker 1: that's not that's not why your past girlfriends. Why would
Speaker 1: you not want her on here? I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just like I don't know other people from the outside
Speaker 1: looking in judging a relationship that I'm happy, and so
Speaker 1: it's like I'm just thinking to judge it even more
Speaker 1: if you say on air I don't want her on
Speaker 1: the podcast, I don't care. I don't want her on
Speaker 1: the podcast. We're gonna fly actually on the podcast yet know,
Speaker 1: but she's more than welcome. It's all because it's too
Speaker 1: much Ashley and Jared. You know, we need some separation here.
Speaker 1: The point to other story is it's non negotiable. She's
Speaker 1: never going to be a guest on this podcast, and
Speaker 1: that will have her on when you're not on, it'll
Speaker 1: be Jared and I and Kaitlin. Sure, I guess I
Speaker 1: don't mind that. I just don't want us to be together.
Speaker 1: We just fly to Montreal and have in that room
Speaker 1: with Vanessa. There's nothing you could do about one on
Speaker 1: one girl talk. I could certainly just walk out the door. Um,
Speaker 1: what were we getting to there anyways. Yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 1: that's basically the extent of the relationship. I'm sure I
Speaker 1: forgot a bunch of things. I've been working on clearly
Speaker 1: communicating my thoughts and ideas more, but I still struggle
Speaker 1: with it. So if you have any more questions about it,
Speaker 1: please email us help. I suck at dating at iHeart
Speaker 1: media dot com. I would love to answer questions about
Speaker 1: the relationship. If you have any questions about Jared and
Speaker 1: Ashley's wedding or honeymoon, help I suck or just our
Speaker 1: relationship as a married couple. I think that could be
Speaker 1: very relatable as a newly husband and wife. I love it.
Speaker 1: I suck at dating at iHeartMedia dot com. The same
Speaker 1: thing with Vanessa to Vanessa is currently in relationship. We're
Speaker 1: all in relationships, yeah the relationships. Only one of them
Speaker 1: has a shared cell phone plan. I wonder what I'm
Speaker 1: just kid anyway, Yeah, if you have if you have
Speaker 1: any questions about Vanessa and Josh's relationship, what it's like
Speaker 1: dating Canada, Canada, Verse America. What could be the differences
Speaker 1: in dating? You know, some eat poot tine, some eat
Speaker 1: ptch up on their French fries. I Suck a Dating
Speaker 1: at iHeart Media dot com. We want your questions. We
Speaker 1: want to be able to answer them, and you know,
Speaker 1: we sometimes pull those over things like unintentionally, but like
Speaker 1: if you have a thought or an idea that we
Speaker 1: talked about that you want us to expand upon. I
Speaker 1: Suck a Dating at iHeart Media dot com, email us
Speaker 1: and will answer them on air. Yeah, we always love feedback.
Speaker 1: We love the Facebook group Helped by Second Dating podcast.
Speaker 1: You can follow us on social media on Instagram, Help
Speaker 1: I Second d Jared recently took over the reins for
Speaker 1: the help I SUCU Dating Instagram page and it's been
Speaker 1: doing very well. I think I gained a couple hundred followers. Um.
Speaker 1: But I thought that was a great post because I
Speaker 1: found him and his Broncos and then me and my Patriots,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, or are you like Vanessa
Speaker 1: and you can give a rats ask and you just
Speaker 1: live your best life. And then it was a picture
Speaker 1: with you in the red nose. Yeah, that was amazing.
Speaker 1: You're doing a great job of manzing. I I need
Speaker 1: that more support. I'm not gonna lie. Um, okay, so
Speaker 1: we're gonna answer one email above via listener but before
Speaker 1: we do that, we're gonna take one quick break and
Speaker 1: diveright into it. I should probably go all right, we
Speaker 1: are back and we have a listener email that our
Speaker 1: beloved Mark is going to read for us. So nice.
Speaker 1: It's anonymous. She says, I've been dating my boyfriend for
Speaker 1: a few months now. He won't say I love you
Speaker 1: over text message. He was the first to say it
Speaker 1: out loud, and when he first said it, I felt
Speaker 1: it might have been too soon, but I said it
Speaker 1: back anyway. I'm comfortable saying it now. He has no
Speaker 1: problem saying it's me. We're together, but apparently he has
Speaker 1: an issue with typing it out over a text. Do
Speaker 1: you think this is something I should do up? Or
Speaker 1: should I let this go? Hi, I'm a red flag.
Speaker 1: It's very nice to meet you. What do you think
Speaker 1: it is? Do you think he's hiding or yes, I
Speaker 1: think he's hiding something, Vanessa. Imagine Josh coming up to
Speaker 1: you every day and saying I love you, I love you,
Speaker 1: I love you, and then you go to text and
Speaker 1: saying I love you, and he's like, well, I can't
Speaker 1: write it in text message. She's not saying that. I
Speaker 1: don't know what the conversation is like this he just
Speaker 1: not saying and she never approached him about and it
Speaker 1: never brought it up, or he just I think she
Speaker 1: should bring it up. I don't think she should bring
Speaker 1: I think this is fine. Honestly. Well, it says that
Speaker 1: apparently he has an issue with typing it over text.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming she's saying that because they have talked about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's weird. No, I don't think so. I think I'm
Speaker 1: just judging by how it was read. I think that
Speaker 1: he just says it in person and he doesn't type it,
Speaker 1: And because of that, I don't think there's really any
Speaker 1: harm and be like, hey, like why don't you just
Speaker 1: say you love me on text but you say it
Speaker 1: in person? Right? Yeah, I don't mind her saying that
Speaker 1: she has to sorry. I assume they already had this conversation. Maybe,
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe they did. I just from reading it,
Speaker 1: it doesn't it doesn't sound like it to me. I
Speaker 1: don't think that she has anything about it. I think
Speaker 1: she's looking for our advice. First look. At the very end,
Speaker 1: she says, do you think this is something I should
Speaker 1: bring up with him? Okay, so maybe bring up Maybe
Speaker 1: there's a reason. Maybe maybe his el button is broken
Speaker 1: on his phone or something, probably a really silly thing.
Speaker 1: I don't think this is a major red flag. I
Speaker 1: don't If he's telling you he loves you, I think
Speaker 1: that's good. I don't think he's worried about other people
Speaker 1: seeing it in his phone. I think that's a stress.
Speaker 1: I agree. Well. The only reason I initially thought it
Speaker 1: was a bad sign is if she if he verbally said, oh,
Speaker 1: I have a tough time texting it, because then you
Speaker 1: just don't want any ink, you know, which makes me question,
Speaker 1: why would you not want anybody to see that? I'll
Speaker 1: bet you when you bring it up with the guy,
Speaker 1: he's probably gonna be like, I didn't even realize. I
Speaker 1: probably didn't even realize that I was probably saying, well,
Speaker 1: now I'm a schmuck. I think he's might just make
Speaker 1: him uncomfortable. There's something the sweetness to it that he
Speaker 1: might not be cool with. I don't know. It could
Speaker 1: be a stupid reason, and I don't think I think
Speaker 1: he's totally oblivious to the fact that he's not even
Speaker 1: saying it. Maybe a text message, and once you bring
Speaker 1: it up with him, he'll be like, oh more cognizant
Speaker 1: of the idea and say I love you via text. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I don't think it's a real quick Laura has
Speaker 1: a question for Dean. She has a thirty one year
Speaker 1: old son who is interested in pursuing a nomadic life.
Speaker 1: Problem is he has trouble getting off the hamster We
Speaker 1: love working a full time job all day, pettycabbing in
Speaker 1: Boston at night. There you go, Jared to make ends
Speaker 1: meet in an expensive city. Plus he has to pay
Speaker 1: off his college loans. How can you launch a nomadic
Speaker 1: lifestyle and still make ends meet? I got the I
Speaker 1: got the reason, I got the secret sauce right here. Boy,
Speaker 1: just go on a bachelorette, simple as that. Uh. I honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't really have any advice for him, because that's
Speaker 1: honestly the only reason I was able to do it
Speaker 1: is because I was always kind of stuck on that
Speaker 1: hamster wheel as well, living paycheck to paycheck. And then
Speaker 1: I went on the bachelorette, and I swear to god,
Speaker 1: I hit the lottery and started to be able to
Speaker 1: do things that I wanted to do, and one of
Speaker 1: those was moving too evanful time. I know, it's like
Speaker 1: a kind of an un uh conventional way of doing that,
Speaker 1: and like there really isn't much advice to be It's
Speaker 1: like I hit the lottery, basically, you can't give it
Speaker 1: some of advice on how to hit the lottery. You know, lucky.
Speaker 1: I got very very lucky. Um. And it sucks because
Speaker 1: I gotta ask that question often, like via Instagram and
Speaker 1: Twitter and stuff, and they're like, hey, like, I'm this
Speaker 1: is my lifestyle. I want to live more like you.
Speaker 1: How do I do it? And I can't really answer,
Speaker 1: and just because I don't really have an answer for them,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean it sucks
Speaker 1: that you gotta kind of prioritize things and figure out
Speaker 1: what you want in life. Because if you do want
Speaker 1: to try to make ends meet and save up and
Speaker 1: potentially buy a house one day, then you might have
Speaker 1: to continue what you're doing. But if you really don't
Speaker 1: see that as a priority in your main priority is
Speaker 1: living your life right now and traveling and see all
Speaker 1: the places that you want to see, then you might
Speaker 1: not make as much money as you hope. But I
Speaker 1: think that's the best way I could best advice I
Speaker 1: could give you right now is to try to Uh,
Speaker 1: figure out what your end goal is and work towards
Speaker 1: that because unfortunately, we're all going to leave this earth
Speaker 1: at some point. So you want to make sure you
Speaker 1: do the things that you want most because I think,
Speaker 1: you know, hopefully, many many many many many many years
Speaker 1: from now, Uh, when you're on your deathbed and looking
Speaker 1: back on your life, I don't think, um, you know,
Speaker 1: pettycabbing and Boston is probably gonna be the first one
Speaker 1: that comes to mind. So, you know, money is very
Speaker 1: important in this life, but it is. But also we
Speaker 1: all have a different definition of what successes. So maybe
Speaker 1: success for him is his level of happiness and freedom,
Speaker 1: and maybe he just needs a break a one year
Speaker 1: or two year thing and then get back into the
Speaker 1: hustle and bustle of a nine to five jobs. So
Speaker 1: I think it's good advice. We're gonna end this podcast,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna end up a quote one that I
Speaker 1: found just the other day that my friend posts on
Speaker 1: our Instagram, and I think it's appropriate view this email
Speaker 1: that we just received. It is short. It says, one life,
Speaker 1: just one. Why aren't we running like we are on
Speaker 1: fire towards our wildest dreams? And so for Laura to
Speaker 1: your son, I think you should tell him that to
Speaker 1: be like, look, if you want to do this, do
Speaker 1: it because you only get one life. As Dared said,
Speaker 1: we're not going to be here forever. And if you fail,
Speaker 1: then you fail, and there's nothing wrong with that. And
Speaker 1: like you said, failure is it's looked upon in different reasons.
Speaker 1: If you go after the things you want in life
Speaker 1: and you don't achieve them, that's not failure. To me,
Speaker 1: failure would be not trying that all. That'll do it.
Speaker 1: For this week's episode of Help to Practice What I preach,
Speaker 1: Thank you guys for tuning in. Big thank you to
Speaker 1: Zip Recruiter and all of the other sponsors on this podcast.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Tory Mark and Eastern are wonderful producers.
Speaker 1: Big thank you to Jared for getting married and providing
Speaker 1: content for us for any time, any time. But Asa,
Speaker 1: thank you for skyping all the way in from Montreal.
Speaker 1: And big thank you to me for being so vulnerable
Speaker 1: and just wondering, looking and funny. Next week we have
Speaker 1: a couple of great guests. We got Nieve Shulman from
Speaker 1: Empty Fish. We have Nicole Lappin, who is an incredible
Speaker 1: author and she will be talking about her new book,
Speaker 1: Becoming Superwoman. Um. And then after that we're going to
Speaker 1: be head into Vegas and we're gonna be recording life
Speaker 1: from there the Blackjack Table, so be sure to tune.
Speaker 1: And then when maybe we might just suck a little
Speaker 1: bit less, follow Help I Suck at Dating with Dean,
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcast