Speaker 1: Are you leaving on? You wanta way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 1: time and a turman alingaye. We want to send you
Speaker 1: off inside. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us
Speaker 1: all about it. We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do your need ride.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Kilgarath.
Speaker 2: We are driving on Santa Monica Boulevard.
Speaker 1: One of the better boulevards of this town.
Speaker 2: I actually do like it. There's palm trees in the middle,
Speaker 2: and on each side there's a lot of palm trees.
Speaker 1: They also have the highest number of seven elevens per
Speaker 1: capita in all of Lass.
Speaker 2: Every at the end of every block there's a seven
Speaker 2: eleven at each crosswalk, which.
Speaker 1: Is comforting, I feel like, for if you're from an
Speaker 1: area that has seven elevens and then you go to
Speaker 1: a town like this that can be cold, and then suddenly,
Speaker 1: oh my god, there's my hometown. Seven eleven.
Speaker 2: Would I hope I have the opportunity. If I buy
Speaker 2: a hot dog and I do not like it, I
Speaker 2: can run across the street and return it at another
Speaker 2: seven eleven, throw.
Speaker 1: It back on the roller and maybe this time get
Speaker 1: one of those other things that are like on the roller.
Speaker 1: But they look like they look like Truro's.
Speaker 2: They are. They are beef or chicken. Taketos, oh takeito. Yes,
Speaker 2: they come in many varieties, including spicy and diarrhea. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's that same. In Houston, there was two Starbucks directly
Speaker 2: across the street from each other, and I went in
Speaker 2: and I asked, what are the difference between these two Starbucks?
Speaker 2: And then the girl said the one over there was
Speaker 2: all gay dudes, and like, you said that at a
Speaker 2: everyone can hear you level, And I went over there
Speaker 2: and sure enough it was just she wasn't wrong. There
Speaker 2: was a gay Starbucks and then a Texan and it
Speaker 2: was in a very conservative area, huh. And every comic
Speaker 2: would come to the laugh stop and do, including like
Speaker 2: Lewis Black and people like that are respected and do
Speaker 2: a ten minute two Starbucks across the street from each other.
Speaker 1: Bit, I mean it used to be fresh. It was
Speaker 1: a fresh topic.
Speaker 2: You know what's currently fresh?
Speaker 1: Our guest whoa funky fresh? That was one of the
Speaker 1: worst I've heard so far on our whole run.
Speaker 2: That was worse than the seg that took the inventor off.
Speaker 1: It's Everybody's best friend, April Richard.
Speaker 3: I live around the corner from the first seven eleven
Speaker 3: you mentioned in honor here?
Speaker 1: What's your favorite? What's your go to item if you
Speaker 1: walk up to that seven eleven? Honestly, I just get
Speaker 1: ice cream, but I.
Speaker 3: Get I don't get any seven eleven brand things, and
Speaker 3: I just go straight up Ben and Jerry's.
Speaker 1: It's a little too convenient.
Speaker 3: So it is like, whenever I want some sweet, sweet treat,
Speaker 3: I go in there, get me a pint of.
Speaker 1: Ben and Jerry's. Do I eat it in one sitting?
Speaker 1: Almost always? How do you not how do you need
Speaker 1: to meet the person that doesn't and and find out
Speaker 1: their secrets?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, they give you a personal size little buckets, right,
Speaker 2: I don't even know the terminology. You guys, I don't
Speaker 2: have a sweet tooth.
Speaker 1: So lucky you are the luckiest man on the planet.
Speaker 2: I have every other.
Speaker 3: Type of tooth, though, I feel like every other type
Speaker 3: of tooth isn't getting you in trouble as much as
Speaker 3: a sweet having as salt tooth.
Speaker 1: I don't think do you have a coach to Yeah?
Speaker 2: I love how innoc in April is to where she's
Speaker 2: like the only types of teeth you can have are
Speaker 2: the different the areas of your tongue.
Speaker 3: Did you hear about the drug too?
Speaker 1: I didn't know there were drug tooth.
Speaker 2: Alcohol a drug.
Speaker 1: I wish that I have anonymous sex tooth.
Speaker 2: I wish marijuana tooth.
Speaker 1: But there was a.
Speaker 3: Tooth for every vice. I thought we were talking food here.
Speaker 1: I think we've invented vice teeth, which is also my
Speaker 1: new script that I've sold to Lions Gates, just your.
Speaker 2: Teeth, trying to solve crimes in Miami.
Speaker 1: Vice teeth. And there's a lot of blazers and loafers
Speaker 1: with no.
Speaker 2: Socks, my friends.
Speaker 1: I have that I have a tooth for blazer, A
Speaker 1: real weakness in your mouth for loafers and no socks.
Speaker 2: Girl, that's a strong part of my tone.
Speaker 1: Laser guys, here's the news. I feel like everyone needs
Speaker 1: to know. April Richardson and Chris Fairbanks are currently shooting
Speaker 1: a true TV television show together as co host.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I love it. It's not the kind where
Speaker 2: there's a studio. We just stand in front of a
Speaker 2: green screen, so they could be playing a trick on us.
Speaker 2: But once we see it on TV, I think we
Speaker 2: can finally celebrate it airs. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know is anyone else there when you go
Speaker 1: to tape, but it might just be our family.
Speaker 2: There's a camera or he says he's a camera man,
Speaker 2: But what I can't figure out is why he has
Speaker 2: no camera or pants.
Speaker 1: I thought jokes like that.
Speaker 2: Content. Is that the ghost of a dead joke?
Speaker 1: I was. I started out making like a disapproving sound,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't sincere oh hold on, speaking of.
Speaker 2: If you've tuned in for the first time ever, we
Speaker 2: have a podcast that takes place in a moving vehicle.
Speaker 1: Yep, we're driving around Los Angeles proper ap April doesn't
Speaker 1: have a gig that we would or a trip to
Speaker 1: we're not taking to the.
Speaker 2: Airport, or we all have a sandwich gig.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a sandwich.
Speaker 3: Speaking of Haunted, I just was in Salt Lake City
Speaker 3: on Friday night.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I thought you would maybe still be there.
Speaker 1: No, we just went for the show and came back.
Speaker 2: But the guy you and Chris Hardwick and the guy
Speaker 2: who was driving is around.
Speaker 3: We ended up there was a we pulled in a
Speaker 3: traffic and there was a ghost tours van in front
Speaker 3: of us, and I was like, what, like, Salt Lake
Speaker 3: City is not one of those.
Speaker 1: It's not like New Orleans or something that's known for
Speaker 1: hauntings or ghosts tours.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, where in the hell does this ghost
Speaker 3: tour thing go? And the guy was saying, how that
Speaker 3: guy makes mistakes for a living.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that is the bases. You're welcome, you doshe?
Speaker 2: Yeah, bad guy from the eighties. Yeah business.
Speaker 1: I hope he knows. I was being sarcastic.
Speaker 3: Okay, sorry, I story as he was I started telling it,
Speaker 3: I was like, where's this going?
Speaker 1: No, just come in.
Speaker 3: Well it was basically I was just like, this is
Speaker 3: weird because there's no it's not like Salt Lake City
Speaker 3: had the Civil War or do you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: like known haunted things with lots of ghosts possibilities. But
Speaker 3: then the guy the driver was like, oh, it's a
Speaker 3: lot of people who came west for like gold, like prospectors,
Speaker 3: like gold panting people died on the way to go
Speaker 3: get gold. And so that's a Salt Lake City haunting thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Or like sometimes they would have hospitals for say
Speaker 1: like yellow fever. Uh, this actually happened in Jerome, Arizona.
Speaker 1: There was a hospital where they or scarlet fever one
Speaker 1: of the fevers, and they put all the children in
Speaker 1: this hospital. But then all the adults started dying. So
Speaker 1: then all the children died because they weren't being tended
Speaker 1: to in the hospital. The most grim thing. It's so grim,
Speaker 1: and then that hospital is crazily haunted. Stuff like that
Speaker 1: happened out in West all the time, where I was like,
Speaker 1: nobody's prepared.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine all the closure that is needed?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, how many souls need to be put
Speaker 1: to rest? Yes, that's right.
Speaker 3: So the kids are at this hospital, and then of
Speaker 3: course the parents are like, well, I gotta go visit
Speaker 3: my kid, right, and the doctors catch whatever they have yep,
Speaker 3: oh no, And the adults died before the children.
Speaker 1: The nurses and yeah, because children are just more resilient.
Speaker 1: I guess you know. I'm kind of lying at this
Speaker 1: point because I don't know the details. I just want
Speaker 1: to sound like an expert always, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 1: All I know is that it's crazily haunted and a
Speaker 1: ton of children died unattended to me is the creepiest.
Speaker 1: That is the creepiest.
Speaker 3: And the thing is, the more I'm on the road
Speaker 3: with Chris, like the more he is delighted by the
Speaker 3: fact that I'm scared of everything, absolutely the delight about
Speaker 3: it and.
Speaker 1: Loves to give me these scenarios, like especially when we're driving.
Speaker 3: We're like driving a lot of the places, especially if
Speaker 3: we do like we did three cities in Texas, so
Speaker 3: we just drove all of them and.
Speaker 1: We almost had to stay. You in Austin, what's the
Speaker 1: name of the hotel, Driscoll?
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, it is haunted there, Yes, uh for all
Speaker 2: when it's my turn.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm just.
Speaker 3: We almost stayed there, and then we didn't because we
Speaker 3: ended up leaving that night after the show anyway.
Speaker 1: But wouldn't stop crying.
Speaker 2: It is that whole corner is famously the each building
Speaker 2: on that corner, especially the one kitty corner from this
Speaker 2: place called Buffalo Billiards. I painted the walls there one Christmas,
Speaker 2: the windows and then the ceiling like this starry night mural,
Speaker 2: and every time I was painting, I got creeped out.
Speaker 2: But I've never had a ghost experience. I don't believe
Speaker 2: in anything after dying, and so it was hard for
Speaker 2: me to pay attention to it, but just peripheral things
Speaker 2: and my neck hair standing up and me hearing. But
Speaker 2: then when I was upstairs, I actually was hearing people
Speaker 2: partying and laughing and cheersing, and I'm like, why, I
Speaker 2: thought they were putting up Christmas decorations. And then this
Speaker 2: guy is like the manager of the restaurant. I feel
Speaker 2: like I've told this before, but he showed up and said, hey,
Speaker 2: the door's not locked, sorry to lock you in. You
Speaker 2: can leave, come and go now I'm here. So because
Speaker 2: I was there early in the morning and I was like, no, no,
Speaker 2: there's people and he's like, yeah, the party noises, Yeah,
Speaker 2: those are ghosts. Du yeah, And it was so scary
Speaker 2: and then and so I was like, I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna be scared of that. I had been
Speaker 2: walking down that through that room. It was a big
Speaker 2: banquet hall with sheets over the chairs and everything. They
Speaker 2: don't even use it because yeah, and I was walking
Speaker 2: down this hallway and I was just had felt the
Speaker 2: need to run. I felt like someone was walking behind me.
Speaker 2: I kept running and I was just washing my brushes
Speaker 2: in there, and then I walked down and ran again.
Speaker 2: I'm like, why am I so weird in this hallway?
Speaker 2: I wasn't even giving it the respect. They're like, what,
Speaker 2: he's acting nervous, But I think it's it's like I
Speaker 2: was acting like I was running out of time or something.
Speaker 1: So you say, yeah, that's what I was gonna say about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you mean go to church and become a Christian
Speaker 2: if they very much have everything to do with each.
Speaker 3: Other, just the idea of afterlife. You think Christians have
Speaker 3: a lock.
Speaker 2: On that or whatever any religion or belief system. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't. But sorry, everybody, I think you're dying.
Speaker 1: That's it because I'm not accusing you of anything. You're
Speaker 1: acting like I am.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying in the way.
Speaker 3: No fighting I but I'm curious only in the way
Speaker 3: that if you so solidly don't believe in that, why
Speaker 3: did you get scared for even one?
Speaker 2: Because I did. I was like, oh shit, there are
Speaker 2: spirits floating around.
Speaker 1: But then that didn't stay with you, like afterwards, You're like, no,
Speaker 1: probably not.
Speaker 3: You're like, there's only an afterlife possible in this building.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, that there are ghosts and I don't know
Speaker 2: what to do about it. I still don't believe in anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, Well, I think you can believe in ghosts
Speaker 1: and not have any idea what's going on in the afterlife,
Speaker 1: or just think it's not real. No, you know about
Speaker 1: my story.
Speaker 2: I think you die and then maybe float around lost.
Speaker 2: But I don't think you have a destination. I think
Speaker 2: you just are either happy or scared. Oh I don't
Speaker 2: think you enter a frog or whatever. Oh right, right,
Speaker 2: kind of childish?
Speaker 3: Well, all right, I'm not arguing that or your right
Speaker 3: to believe that or whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, but then if you I don't know.
Speaker 3: Why you'd get scared then, because if you're if that's
Speaker 3: such a firm held belief, like, wouldn't you just be like, oh,
Speaker 3: nothing is happening, this is all my No.
Speaker 2: It's no, it's it's I believe there are ghosts. I
Speaker 2: don't believe anything we can do. There's anything we can
Speaker 2: do about it? Right, I think we die and float
Speaker 2: around and it's graham and scary.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I didn't quit apologize.
Speaker 1: I don't know. That's you don't have to apologize.
Speaker 3: That's fine because I feel the same because, like I've
Speaker 3: I've never had a ghost experience myself, but I don't
Speaker 3: think people are lying when they say they do.
Speaker 1: And I do have friends that are.
Speaker 2: Like, whatever, that's total bull.
Speaker 3: Well, there are just things we can't explain, like why
Speaker 3: can't that be a possibility? Yeah, there's just maybe there's
Speaker 3: a thing that human beings can't comprehend or explain.
Speaker 1: And that's okay too, Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've that's the only experience I've ever had, but
Speaker 2: it was so legitimate And then totally the whole stack
Speaker 2: of pint glasses fell over that you would have to
Speaker 2: push right wow, and they broke, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: that's fucking scary. That's an object movie. Yes, So I
Speaker 2: laughed and just came back when there was people I
Speaker 2: couldn't handle it, But I risk are about cigar smoke
Speaker 2: and there's a painting of a guy like that's Scooby
Speaker 2: Doo shit. But you go in there and you can
Speaker 2: smell cigar smoke, right, and it smells in there, and
Speaker 2: they're like, yes, of course smoking isn't allowed, right, But
Speaker 2: maybe someone's paid to keep the scare going and they
Speaker 2: smoke a cigar. I don't know they have.
Speaker 1: My uncle Ridge dropped by every three months. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: that shit sticks around. It's a cigar.
Speaker 3: It's a pretty good job if you can get it.
Speaker 1: Just smoke cigars on the d L. Yeah, I did
Speaker 1: cigar smoker by d L.
Speaker 2: Do you mean the driskle down, because that's where do
Speaker 2: you know it is you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's me.
Speaker 2: I saw you had tobacco on your lip.
Speaker 1: I'm the Demi Moore of twenty fifteen with cigars. Remember
Speaker 1: remember when cigars got dumbly popular, like, I'll smoke any
Speaker 1: though I'm a woman. Thanks, there's nothing cool. They smell
Speaker 1: so goddamn bad.
Speaker 2: I feel like that was just to promote a planet
Speaker 2: Hollywood for a while total everyone involved with the Planet
Speaker 2: Hollywood was on the cover of Cigar Aficionado.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's exactly right.
Speaker 3: Well, I enjoyed weightlifting, but I also like a good cigar.
Speaker 2: I know how to.
Speaker 1: Live anyone.
Speaker 3: Anyway, the whole we didn't end up staying at the Driscoll,
Speaker 3: but on the drive to the airport or whatever, Chris
Speaker 3: was laughing because I was freaking out because I was like,
Speaker 3: how there your book is there? I wouldn't have slept
Speaker 3: there anyway or whatever whatever. Because he also does not
Speaker 3: believe in anything whatsoever, so laugh so hard whenever I
Speaker 3: talk about being scared of stuff, and he'll just go, hey,
Speaker 3: what if we did What would you do if we
Speaker 3: stayed there and you woke up and there's just a
Speaker 3: ghost standing at the foot of your bed?
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: He keeps giving me scenarios like that, where I'm like,
Speaker 3: dancer is exactly the same. I have a heart attack,
Speaker 3: his heart attack. Like. He's like, well, what if they
Speaker 3: were nice? And I'm like, what is that?
Speaker 1: That doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: I feel like my brain would go hold on a minute,
Speaker 3: don't give him a chance.
Speaker 1: Yes, freak out? How do you know they're standing there
Speaker 1: with the plate of freshly big cook high fight me? Like,
Speaker 1: how I'm gonna know is in the ninety ghost You're
Speaker 1: not leave me hanging. I'm from the Victorian era. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but he'll do that. He'll be like, well, you don't
Speaker 1: know what if he's like what.
Speaker 3: If it's a cool dude like, and then I'll go yeah,
Speaker 3: but if it's a kid, and I'm like, even scarier
Speaker 3: if it's a child.
Speaker 1: Well, also because it is like Chris is saying, it's
Speaker 1: a physical experience. It's like that thing of when your
Speaker 1: your nervous system is telling you you're in danger. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter what they do, it's just your experience.
Speaker 2: Right, And I think it is your nervous Like when
Speaker 2: I was young, I heard voices and it was scary
Speaker 2: and it made me have to leave of classrooms. And
Speaker 2: it was background noise being amplified and sounded like scary
Speaker 2: angry whispering, like everything sounded, clothes shuffling, pencils on papers,
Speaker 2: sounded like voices that were mad at me. And I
Speaker 2: went to all these psychologists and crystal rubber ladies that
Speaker 2: were friends with my mom, right, and they all said
Speaker 2: you have a special power, and I'm like, no, that's
Speaker 2: not it. I'm not. I don't know what to do
Speaker 2: with that. So I'm realized. I just convinced myself I
Speaker 2: was having little panic attacks, and I think I was right.
Speaker 1: Well, also, maybe you had a weird good hearing for
Speaker 1: some reason, yeah, like things pressing on nerves.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, right, And then I didn't know what to
Speaker 2: do with it, so I'd panic. But I sure if
Speaker 2: that was Yeah, it seemed like spirits and things I thought,
Speaker 2: or I thought, oh, I'm going to be schizophrenic by
Speaker 2: the time I'm thirty. I would like read into it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yep, I hear voices. That means I'm going
Speaker 2: to be like because you know, I got some crazy
Speaker 2: uncles and sure, yeah so, but it kind of just
Speaker 2: went away as I came to terms with the fact
Speaker 2: that I just freak out about shit.
Speaker 1: I had a friend who one day at work, So
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: If those were my early ghost experiences, is what I
Speaker 2: was saying. Yeah, sorry, you had a friend, then let's
Speaker 2: cap that off. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just gonna say I had a friend
Speaker 1: who had very bad vision and one day at work
Speaker 1: walked into my office and goes, I can see perfectly
Speaker 1: without my glasses today. I don't know why. Oh, and
Speaker 1: he was rereaking out. He's like, am I about to
Speaker 1: have a stroke? Like what is this? And then the
Speaker 1: next day it was gone, and I think there's like
Speaker 1: I think there are things obviously in the human brain
Speaker 1: that we don't understand. One time that happened to me
Speaker 1: in a hotel room. I was laying there and I
Speaker 1: was so tired. I think it was at Bridgetown or
Speaker 1: one of those things, and I was it was totally
Speaker 1: silent hotel room, and then I just started hearing people talking.
Speaker 1: And I was laying there going, oh, this is where
Speaker 1: I snap, Like, this is where I now I have
Speaker 1: mental illness. And I'm like thinking about that sucks whatever.
Speaker 1: And then I finally got up and went to the
Speaker 1: door and there was people like four doors down just
Speaker 1: standing in the hallway talking. But I immediately assumed, like
Speaker 1: because it sometimes when you hear things in a weird way,
Speaker 1: like not in the way you've heard them before. I
Speaker 1: guess you know, and you panic.
Speaker 2: Have you ever April had anything where you're like, have
Speaker 2: a heightened ability? And you know.
Speaker 1: I've never had that, but I was gonna say, I
Speaker 1: know zero of low abilities.
Speaker 3: The closest I had to a ghost thing, though, is
Speaker 3: my parents The house my parents live in now we
Speaker 3: moved into like my junior year of high school, like
Speaker 3: I was like sixteen or seventeen in Atlanta in Atlanta,
Speaker 3: but so the house I grew up in prior to that.
Speaker 1: They told me after.
Speaker 3: We moved that it was haunted, which was a good
Speaker 3: move because I would have run away from home if
Speaker 3: I'd have known it like at the time, but they
Speaker 3: go and again, my parents don't believe in that kind
Speaker 3: of shit either, Like they're pretty like straight lace squares,
Speaker 3: like they're not like crystal.
Speaker 1: Rubbers or whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah you describe that lay like, yeah, they're super n
Speaker 3: into that stuff, but they fully straightforward be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: the house was haunted, and I'm like, that's what.
Speaker 1: Just quit lying.
Speaker 3: And then I remember I so remember this so vividly
Speaker 3: because I was a latch key kid, Like I started
Speaker 3: going home alone when I was like twelve or something
Speaker 3: from middle school. And I totally remember one day coming
Speaker 3: home and you know classic move, you walk in, fix
Speaker 3: yourself a snack, sit down for four back to back,
Speaker 3: and say out the bell.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know everyone my age had that routine.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And I remember in the living room like I was
Speaker 3: going to fix something and one of the like a
Speaker 3: pot was missing or something, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's weird. And then I went in the living room
Speaker 3: to sit down and watch TV and on the mantle,
Speaker 3: like on the stone part in front of the fireplace,
Speaker 3: there were two pots like cooking pots sitting in front
Speaker 3: of it, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, wait, they were cooking.
Speaker 1: No, they weren't.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying pots that used to cook in they're
Speaker 3: sitting just on the.
Speaker 1: The But it just was like I go.
Speaker 3: I remember thinking that's super weet, Like why the hell
Speaker 3: would my mom put cooking things?
Speaker 1: So I was like, that's weird.
Speaker 3: But I just took them and put them away, just
Speaker 3: back in the shelf because I was like, Okay, what
Speaker 3: a weird quirky thing that my mom did. And I
Speaker 3: remember coming home from my mom coming home and going,
Speaker 3: why did you put those two dishes like on the mantles.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't know what you're talking about that.
Speaker 2: I had a similar thing with my roommates. He's like,
Speaker 2: why are you keep putting cat shit in my toilet?
Speaker 2: I said, why do you keep putting cat shit in
Speaker 2: my toilet? And it turned out my cat learned out
Speaker 2: of shit in the toilet without me teaching it. Doubt
Speaker 2: it if you want, everyone, No one believes me a
Speaker 2: genius cat. He was possessed by feline aids and it
Speaker 2: eventually got him. I like to hey, you know what
Speaker 2: I like to bring people in and then hurt their feelings.
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's that is scary though. I think
Speaker 2: that's what ghosts do. The one of the other things
Speaker 2: this guy, when I was painting those walls, he said, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's like this door under the stairs, and when you
Speaker 2: open the door, the light turns on five times a day,
Speaker 2: even when it's crowded. I'll look over and it's open
Speaker 2: and you have to turn the latch, and it's just
Speaker 2: and I go and shut it. And sometimes I'll go
Speaker 2: and there's pulled this pool table table here is covered
Speaker 2: only this table covered with white dust. And I tap
Speaker 2: it and the dust rises off of it and it
Speaker 2: gets covered with dust, and none of the other tables do.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's so weird. So that's not even a ghost,
Speaker 2: Like it's a pin that's creating us and making it subtle.
Speaker 2: That's a scary thing. So I guess I'm being stubborn
Speaker 2: when I say nothing happens when you of course, I
Speaker 2: just I don't know what to do with the information,
Speaker 2: and I'm scared of dying. I worry about it every
Speaker 2: day because I had worried about that. You just flowed around,
Speaker 2: like what happened? I never became famous.
Speaker 1: Well, my thing is the what is the well?
Speaker 3: The funny thing is that kid thing I remember happening
Speaker 3: like it was yesterday, But I also remember going I
Speaker 3: think it was me trying to I just remember going,
Speaker 3: oh whatever, I bet my mom forgot you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I couldn't.
Speaker 2: So in retrospect you realized that was a hand.
Speaker 3: At the time, it was even within the realm of
Speaker 3: possibility because I didn't want to be scared with this thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the same thing. I was like, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I was running down that hallway. I kept thinking someone
Speaker 2: was walking behind me. I kept feeling a breeze on
Speaker 2: my neck. I just had some fucking wreaths and Santa
Speaker 2: hats to paint, and you know, so I was like,
Speaker 2: fucking stop bothering me whatever. That is, right.
Speaker 3: Another thing because of the like I am with you
Speaker 3: on the fear of death and like that, none of
Speaker 3: us know what happens and you can't explain it, YadA YadA.
Speaker 3: But that's even hammered home more when I hear people's
Speaker 3: ghost stories because of how mundane all.
Speaker 1: The ship is. Where it's like, oh.
Speaker 3: So let me get this straight for all eternity, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna misplace people's pots.
Speaker 1: That scary as fu Yeah, just being like oh, let
Speaker 1: me get this straight. I'm gonna be so bored.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna find a way to create some dust.
Speaker 2: You find the right religion.
Speaker 1: And spread it on a pool table. It turns out
Speaker 1: a chef was murdered in your parents house, A chef
Speaker 1: like he just made delicious.
Speaker 2: He did a lot of prep work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like training training to kick that mountain, Duke
Speaker 3: cam or what everything. Imagine the frustration that what if
Speaker 3: you are trying to tell somebody like an important thing
Speaker 3: and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, I know how to do is move this pot? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I don't know how to tell you? To tell you?
Speaker 2: Don't you know that the pot on the mantle means
Speaker 2: I love deal.
Speaker 1: That pot equals heart. My fear is that I'm gonna
Speaker 1: die in these fucking boot cut jeans I've been wearing
Speaker 1: for I just not We're at this weight, like not
Speaker 1: in my prime, where you don't I just don't wanna.
Speaker 1: I don't want to wander eternity all like you should
Speaker 1: have done that way.
Speaker 3: And if you die in these like if we died
Speaker 3: right now, we all are just dressing.
Speaker 1: Yes, isn't that awful?
Speaker 2: We're not gonna die right now let's not do that.
Speaker 2: We're in a car, let's do it.
Speaker 4: Oh God, next door, We're like, April, would you like
Speaker 4: to do our puck?
Speaker 1: Our death cato?
Speaker 2: And then and then I also am scared of like
Speaker 2: brain potential, Like I'm just that scared about that, or
Speaker 2: what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Did you see Lucy?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Is it's a the Charlotte movie? No? No, no, it was
Speaker 1: she takes a drug and she can use one hundred
Speaker 1: percent of her bone?
Speaker 2: Was I stopped watching it? Yes? Yeah, I liked the
Speaker 2: idea of it. Yeah. Did it started good and then
Speaker 2: got so shitty that I turned it off?
Speaker 3: And I never do that, and that when she uses
Speaker 3: it to kill people or whatever, because in Limitless he
Speaker 3: takes that drug and then all of a sudden he's
Speaker 3: like I.
Speaker 1: Can write a novel in one day. Yeah, and he
Speaker 1: saw like stocks and bombs, which I'm like, could you
Speaker 1: be more more? Although I have to say I saw
Speaker 1: Limitless and midway through I had to go pee. And
Speaker 1: when I walked out of the theater at the arc light,
Speaker 1: the whole it was daytime and the whole lobby like
Speaker 1: I felt like I was. It was probably the way
Speaker 1: that movie was shot rod, but it looked like I
Speaker 1: had like, yeah, totally like telescop. I looked like it
Speaker 1: looked like I had panoramic vision or whatever.
Speaker 2: There was a I have to and it was such
Speaker 2: so hard for me because I knew it was going
Speaker 2: to end, and so I wasn't even really enjoying it.
Speaker 2: But there was a time I had just finished college,
Speaker 2: which is something that will make you feel good. I'd
Speaker 2: been given all this snowboard stuff and I was about
Speaker 2: to go leave Missoula to live in Bend, Oregon and
Speaker 2: just snowboard and I'd save money. So those were all
Speaker 2: things that are kind of exciting. So that was maybe
Speaker 2: one reason. But I remember that it was school wasn't
Speaker 2: quite done. I was taking tests. It was like during
Speaker 2: finals week, and I aced everything. It was all easy
Speaker 2: for me. I was in a great mood.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: Not needing a lot of sleep. I was skateboarding better
Speaker 2: than I ever have in my life. And everyone's like noticing,
Speaker 2: They're like, you've been real happy lately, because a lot
Speaker 2: of my friends know that I get angry and everything.
Speaker 2: And then and I was skateboarding so well. I remember
Speaker 2: still the tricks I was doing that I can't do anymore.
Speaker 1: And all kinds of all things involving words, but it
Speaker 1: was like they're involving Yeah, it.
Speaker 2: Was just like I, I, I don't And then I
Speaker 2: knew that it would come to an end. I was
Speaker 2: so scared that that's I was like, this is endorphins
Speaker 2: are firing. Something triggered this, It's gonna go away. I
Speaker 2: wish I knew. Am I supposed to be on medication?
Speaker 2: Am I always supposed to feel this good? What is
Speaker 2: causing it?
Speaker 1: And you didn't know?
Speaker 2: Like you rested for like two weeks and then it
Speaker 2: kind of just tapered off and I was back toting
Speaker 2: shitty and getting seas of it. No, I'll never know.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it was. It was just this
Speaker 2: two weeks of clarity.
Speaker 1: Is it Jesus into your heart?
Speaker 2: It was so yeah, don't get back to that. I
Speaker 2: put that log on the fire at camp and that's no.
Speaker 2: It was I wish there was.
Speaker 1: Something that uh, just like the very specific multi vitamin.
Speaker 2: I was trying to track everything I had eaten, everything
Speaker 2: I'd done. I I don't know, I'll never know. It
Speaker 2: was really it's kind of sad. I ha'ds the best
Speaker 2: couple weeks of my brain working.
Speaker 3: It's not sad because I feel sad or never having
Speaker 3: had those two weeks, I was like, yeah, this is
Speaker 3: the peak, right.
Speaker 2: It was just something norp. I don't know, maybe I
Speaker 2: was getting sick. I felt like maybe I was getting
Speaker 2: sick and my body was fighting a sickness, and so
Speaker 2: I felt great. Do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: sometimes you feel good right when you start to get
Speaker 2: sick because your body's like, come on, get rid of this.
Speaker 2: I felt like that. Yeah, it felt like that limitless
Speaker 2: I always think about it when every that version of
Speaker 2: that movie keeps getting regurgitated. Now there's a limitless TV
Speaker 2: show show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's gonna be great.
Speaker 2: But it was yeah, very just and the fact that
Speaker 2: I figured out math and stuff. It was very kind
Speaker 2: of beautiful mind I ever had. Oh my god, I'm
Speaker 2: a math I'm the worst at it. It gives me anxiety,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden I had no anxiety.
Speaker 1: I wonder if it's similar to when my friend had
Speaker 1: good visions for a day.
Speaker 3: By the way, I just noticed that Johnny Rockets. We
Speaker 3: just drove by his clothes down forever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, really over it. I just walked by it like
Speaker 1: a week ago.
Speaker 2: Yep, they just closed it.
Speaker 3: Already looks like it's from a movie about the Apocalypse.
Speaker 1: Tag up.
Speaker 2: I wonder that's zombie blood.
Speaker 1: Those things are everywhere. Oh, that's creepy Johnny. If Johnny
Speaker 1: Rockets is going under, we're done as a society. It's over.
Speaker 1: Because I just would walk by it.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the end of society that
Speaker 2: people are maybe all collectively having a health tack. Why.
Speaker 1: I remember going there when I lived in San Francisco
Speaker 1: and I had two jobs and was broke, and uh
Speaker 1: we went Someone's like meet me at Johnny Rockets and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, a fifty s Hamburger places. This
Speaker 1: will be normal or cheap, and it was so expensive,
Speaker 1: Like when the bill came, I was like, how.
Speaker 3: Much is this, like like fifty prices.
Speaker 2: Seriously, the McDonald's isn't doing well either that people are
Speaker 2: getting healthier, Yeah, they're they're deciding not to eat the
Speaker 2: shittiest yet that you can put in your body.
Speaker 1: And no one has money anymore, Like nobody's gonna buy
Speaker 1: X go out to dinner to eat ship.
Speaker 2: Yeah, essentially, because it kind of costs the same as food.
Speaker 2: That isn't that bad right to McDonald's. Oh an eight
Speaker 2: dollars meal deal? What that's an actual real meal?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but a real meal doesn't cause depression.
Speaker 2: Right or sugarfoot.
Speaker 1: For sure?
Speaker 2: Sugar food, no joke.
Speaker 1: I think I've dived.
Speaker 3: I don't have insurance, so like I can't.
Speaker 1: You don't have diabetes, April, I think I've dived. Did
Speaker 1: we talk about this? I think I've diabetes.
Speaker 2: Sure, you have feet sometimes, Yeah, my extremity is going
Speaker 2: on my fingertail.
Speaker 1: But I do eat so much sugar. You do, Oh
Speaker 1: my god?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you walk away, eat like a rich thirteen year old.
Speaker 2: That's my diet.
Speaker 1: It's like a thirteen year old got money and it's
Speaker 1: like go wherever you want.
Speaker 2: And I'm like cool, the candy is yeah, and I
Speaker 2: want Richard Pryor to be my toy.
Speaker 1: Totally like that. So yeah, I eat a ton of sugar.
Speaker 1: What is your number one candy bar?
Speaker 2: Sorry, but she's still skinny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's not I mean I work out and
Speaker 3: stuff too, But so what that's the key.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. I still have diabetes.
Speaker 3: My favorite candies are come on, probably take five. You
Speaker 3: got that pretzel in there?
Speaker 1: Are you out of your mind? Groups? No, take five
Speaker 1: and then grab a fast break and go to hell,
Speaker 1: because those are both gross. But I like, wait, sorry,
Speaker 1: do that again, like a little Take five commercial.
Speaker 3: You got that, It'll be like, I mean, yeah, take five.
Speaker 1: You got that.
Speaker 3: Pretzel in there? Girl, you got Bretzel nougat caramel chocolate nut.
Speaker 3: I don't know what the fit thing is, but it's
Speaker 3: delicious meal.
Speaker 1: It's pure diabetes, pure liquid. I diving.
Speaker 2: That. I'm sald cops.
Speaker 1: Yes, I just got. Although I'm just got.
Speaker 3: I got a whole of on sale candy, Reese's Eggs
Speaker 3: or the Ship though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, those are crazy.
Speaker 2: Those are even.
Speaker 3: Better than the Cops because of the peanut butter to
Speaker 3: chocolate ratio.
Speaker 1: Yes, but it's so much of that crazy ass peanut
Speaker 1: butter that the first time I had one, I was like,
Speaker 1: never have this again.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love it? And then but what's worse than a
Speaker 1: dry old Oh you can't do that? That's heartbreaking crumbles around.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 3: I will hold back to the freezer because I got.
Speaker 3: I went to Walgreens and to get a regular adult
Speaker 3: thing like toothbrush or whatever, and then it was like,
Speaker 3: here's the isle of on sale Halloween candy, like it's
Speaker 3: on and then.
Speaker 2: You said, start brushing your teeth with a.
Speaker 1: Every tooth in addition to my eggs junior Man's pressed
Speaker 1: onto it.
Speaker 3: I have a filling and every tooth except for the
Speaker 3: ones that can't take fillings.
Speaker 2: And I'm not racking or anything, but I have no cavities.
Speaker 1: There's a connections, but I'm sure there's a connection.
Speaker 2: My mom, I was very paranoid. Not only did we
Speaker 2: have to eat cara, which is a version of chocolate
Speaker 2: from cocainoe wax and wax.
Speaker 1: And tears, just eating child tears, you're just eating a
Speaker 1: sad sad candle and sad brown candle.
Speaker 2: I would, but during Halloween I'd have to tag of
Speaker 2: candy until the next Halloween. And after every piece I'd
Speaker 2: brush my teeth. My dad had come in and go, Letten,
Speaker 2: you don't have to brush after each piece of candy
Speaker 2: and nervous weirdo.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's hilarious.
Speaker 3: I grew up in the South first of all, so
Speaker 3: I got like sweet tea in my veins, like it
Speaker 3: was just right costly eating and drinking sugar and I
Speaker 3: did know pretty much.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not gross.
Speaker 3: Pretty much brushed my teeth as a kid, but you
Speaker 3: know a lot of that's genetic.
Speaker 1: Yes, it is, I very poorous teeth, I guess. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the enamel situation. Yeah, but it is breaking candy
Speaker 1: bark situation. It's it's take five. How about you take
Speaker 1: five on those candy bars?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think my family You mean take five of
Speaker 3: them home into your mouth?
Speaker 2: I yeah, I think my full family got lucky with
Speaker 2: the teeth. Yeah, it's just it's excuse me, I'm choking
Speaker 2: on my own saliva.
Speaker 1: What happened?
Speaker 2: It's just one of my addictions. You want to it
Speaker 2: is a little I kind of want a Snickers ice
Speaker 2: cream bar.
Speaker 1: I'll get a milk check when we go eat.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's not make idle threats.
Speaker 1: How much longer until that happens? Are we doing hungry?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing pretty good. We could start heading to
Speaker 2: Cafe one O one Okay, cool.
Speaker 1: Location. Yeah yeah, all these people rush to eat with us.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be like a hard day's night.
Speaker 2: They'll show up tomorrow.
Speaker 1: We have to sneak out into the hotel. Cafe won
Speaker 1: to one If anyone travels to Los Angeles, it's a
Speaker 1: great place because it's actually a Motel six or a
Speaker 1: it's some kind of a cheap old motel on top delicious,
Speaker 1: but the motel is actually really nice.
Speaker 2: And it's affordable.
Speaker 1: I think it is because it's like a if it's
Speaker 1: not a Motel six, it's like a I don't know,
Speaker 1: A days in what have you. There's a really good
Speaker 1: rap and I can't remember who did it, where it's
Speaker 1: like a meet you at six at the days in,
Speaker 1: which I think is the funniest rap of all time,
Speaker 1: Like somebody's cheating on his girlfriend and he's going to
Speaker 1: meet someone in the afternoon at the days in.
Speaker 2: I love any rap lyric where it's like they're just
Speaker 2: talking about I don't have a lot of money. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's like I'm not bragging. That's why everyone spoke to
Speaker 2: everyone when there was I wish I was a baller. Yeah.
Speaker 2: They was like, I'm I'm very insecure and I'm not
Speaker 2: happy with who I am, and I'm going to rap
Speaker 2: about it. No one, No one.
Speaker 1: Really does that. You can relate who can't relate to that?
Speaker 1: I do wish I was taller.
Speaker 2: It just doesn't sell. You don't want to hear you
Speaker 2: be very sure of yourself. Yeah, that's what I'm learning,
Speaker 2: even with comedy.
Speaker 1: In comedy, because people are so nervous for you standing there,
Speaker 1: then if you're nervous, it compounds their nervous It's like.
Speaker 3: You can't watch when you have to watch embarrassing things
Speaker 3: through your fingers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm kind of getting rid of that version
Speaker 2: of my stand up that I did my whole career,
Speaker 2: the fake nervousness.
Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah, you're a good.
Speaker 2: Comics like it.
Speaker 1: You don't think people.
Speaker 2: There's there's gotta be a reason that. Yeah, I've had
Speaker 2: to know. I'm gonna switch it up. Confident. You're gonna
Speaker 2: see confident Chris, Huh, I'm gonna do a little Bragging's
Speaker 2: like intimidating.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna stammer to you.
Speaker 1: No, sorry, sorry, your belt distracted me.
Speaker 2: It's funny when you're in a thing. I just screamed
Speaker 2: the words death and I it's like when you're in
Speaker 2: a car, Dude, you don't Jesus Christ, everyone everyone, oh
Speaker 2: my god. And I didn't. I just blurted that it
Speaker 2: was not me. They were.
Speaker 1: Murdered. To gay Man, and so Chris yelled the game.
Speaker 3: I was reading this article because of the guy And
Speaker 3: I don't know if you guys talked about on a
Speaker 3: recent episode of The Guy whose body was flowing onto
Speaker 3: a freeway sign Ye Glendale, because there was an article
Speaker 3: about how apparently the worst drivers in the state or
Speaker 3: something are in Glendale. Really then it has like the
Speaker 3: worst statistics.
Speaker 2: Yikes. Yeah, why why don't just leap into the street.
Speaker 2: I know you're all excited to have new tank tops.
Speaker 1: Wait, speaking of horrifying things like that, did you guys
Speaker 1: see yourselves in person or did you see any of
Speaker 1: the vines of the quote unquote rocket test UFO that
Speaker 1: went by last night?
Speaker 3: No, A fucking nerdy ex boyfriend, Andy Wood called last
Speaker 3: night and wanted to talk about it in cold, cold
Speaker 3: because he was texting about it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I didn't see it, Like I just was too nonchalant
Speaker 3: for him, I guess, because he called and he was.
Speaker 1: Like, dude, listen to what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it was this crazy light in the sky. Yeah,
Speaker 3: for like two hours, and he was getting mad because
Speaker 3: everyone said it was a meteor and he's like, do
Speaker 3: these idiots.
Speaker 1: No, it's not what a met looks like at all,
Speaker 1: that's right. But I googled it.
Speaker 3: And the apparent actual explanation was that the Navy said
Speaker 3: it was a missile test, but he didn't believe that
Speaker 3: really either.
Speaker 1: Well also because I know, but the missiles don't this
Speaker 1: It traveled like a plane, like straight across parallel to
Speaker 1: the horizon, yes, and like slowly and and I'm sure
Speaker 1: they have tested missiles before, and no one knew why
Speaker 1: did this one light up the entire sky?
Speaker 3: And is like you could see it in like San Francisco, Yes,
Speaker 3: San Francisco.
Speaker 1: You go to San Francisco.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And he said because Andy was outdoors.
Speaker 1: I was inside, so I didn't see it.
Speaker 3: He was outdoors and saw it like as it was happening, right,
Speaker 3: and he was like trying to take pictures.
Speaker 1: And it was like, how.
Speaker 3: Is this going on this long? That it really did
Speaker 3: light off for like two hours, And I was watching
Speaker 3: a link to some local newscasts where they even the
Speaker 3: newscasters were like, here's.
Speaker 1: Footage of a thing that none of us know what
Speaker 1: this is.
Speaker 3: And they even said on the news they're like, we
Speaker 3: tried to contact the military and they haven't let us.
Speaker 1: Know yet and all this kind of stuff. So wow,
Speaker 1: it is kind of fascinating.
Speaker 2: But I've more I've I'm more open minded about that
Speaker 2: than the ghost But I think it is all the
Speaker 2: same thing anyway. That's why I like that movie Interstellar.
Speaker 1: Wait, you think the same thing as ghosts?
Speaker 2: No, because we have.
Speaker 1: We know that other planets exist.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for sure, so.
Speaker 3: The idea that somebody might live on those planets isn't
Speaker 3: as far fetched as the idea of ghosts.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I just think the Earth is and all of
Speaker 2: us are just a very very very very very small
Speaker 2: part of something huge, and so it's ridiculous that there
Speaker 2: is a god or someone that is focusing on humans.
Speaker 1: See, I take it.
Speaker 2: That's all.
Speaker 1: I just I think our brains are a heart. I
Speaker 1: think we are not at the peak of our evolution,
Speaker 1: so probably things are happening around us that are if
Speaker 1: we if our brains were more evolved, we would understand
Speaker 1: or be able to like take it all in. But
Speaker 1: since that's not going.
Speaker 2: On, Well, if you feel like you're getting sick, sometimes
Speaker 2: there's a window of time where you're an orphan fire
Speaker 2: brain won't work, so maybe you can figure it out
Speaker 2: instead of just skateboarding.
Speaker 1: When that happened to you, did you run with blade
Speaker 1: hands like Tom Cruise?
Speaker 2: I ran, and then I'd look at things and analyze
Speaker 2: them and figure out where someone went to college as
Speaker 2: they passed by. And the night gave babe, baby, look
Speaker 2: at that hair on her foot. That woman's cheating on
Speaker 2: her husband.
Speaker 1: Let's go back to the what do you.
Speaker 2: Guys think that?
Speaker 3: Like if it's not, if it wasn't it wasn't a meteor,
Speaker 3: Like that's a fact, and if the military is lying.
Speaker 2: It just exhausts me to put mental power into that
Speaker 2: instead of figuring out my taxes and stuff. There's so
Speaker 2: much that I need to think about and that it's like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just another thing. It makes me
Speaker 2: feel scared and helpless.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: One time I filmed a light in San Francisco that
Speaker 2: just was hovering and then it went I can show
Speaker 2: you guys, that's on my phone and then it just
Speaker 2: shoots off and I'm like, well I saw that, And
Speaker 2: then I'm like, had to be a helicopter or a
Speaker 2: drone or a remote controlled thing. I don't know. I
Speaker 2: don't I can't deal with what I just saw, so
Speaker 2: I didn't really even show it to anyone. Was this recently,
Speaker 2: It was a couple of years ago. Oh, so I
Speaker 2: don't Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't want to think about aliens. I don't like
Speaker 1: the idea of it it all. It makes me very upset.
Speaker 1: But I love the idea of ghosts and supernatural things
Speaker 1: on the planet. I just don't like. I don't like
Speaker 1: the aliens. I don't like I don't like our odds
Speaker 1: with aliens. So I don't want to think about it.
Speaker 1: But I do love when things happen that. It just
Speaker 1: felt like a game changer. So it's like me and
Speaker 1: my niece were sitting on a couch last night watching
Speaker 1: TV and suddenly all these vines start coming down Twitter, like,
Speaker 1: look at what I just saw. Look at it I
Speaker 1: just saw. And I just held them up to her
Speaker 1: and I was like, anything you want to tell me
Speaker 1: because I think this is it for both of us,
Speaker 1: And she was like, oh my god, what's happening. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's just a thing.
Speaker 2: I realized, Yes.
Speaker 1: Yes, Lauren, she came to see me again.
Speaker 2: She's got a really funny niece.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: She was on our podcasts than.
Speaker 1: Most she's hilarious and she's uh. But I realized I
Speaker 1: freaked her out because I think stuff like that is funny,
Speaker 1: like treating stressful things with humor is funny. But I
Speaker 1: think it scared her, Like oh really, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: she got really scared. And then I was like, no,
Speaker 1: it's just a missile. Don't worry. Everyone's saying it's a missile,
Speaker 1: but really, in my mind, I was like, this could
Speaker 1: be anything. Also, did you see that really long crack
Speaker 1: in Wyoming that opened up like last week? What'd you
Speaker 1: think about that? That scared me?
Speaker 2: I looked at it and I'm like, well, then I
Speaker 2: quit thinking about it. I don't in the state of
Speaker 2: what I just don't have room for it.
Speaker 1: Twenty five hundred feet long, and when you see the
Speaker 1: pictures of it, it looks like the the Earth just erupted,
Speaker 1: but there was no like earthquake or anything.
Speaker 2: But I gotta figure out why my nose has been
Speaker 2: bleeding before I worry about the earth opening up.
Speaker 1: It's there's no moisture in the air because the aliens
Speaker 1: have taken it.
Speaker 3: Now that we've figured out by it's a populated area,
Speaker 3: like yeah, in somebody's backyard, like, what's who found it?
Speaker 1: Like it just happened in the middle of the day.
Speaker 1: It happened, no one saw it. It's out in the
Speaker 1: middle of nowhere, because that's most of Wyoming, And if
Speaker 1: you look it up you'll see it just looks like
Speaker 1: a big open field where the earth cracked, like the
Speaker 1: top of bread you would be baking.
Speaker 3: But like, how far down can you see they did it?
Speaker 1: April? Can you see that far down? April?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 1: April?
Speaker 2: There is a there is a for forty years in
Speaker 2: uh somewhere in the Middle East in the middle of
Speaker 2: the desert. They they were drilling. They thought it was oil,
Speaker 2: but it ended up being natural gas coming out of
Speaker 2: the earth. But they so they built this camp and
Speaker 2: these drills, which seems like a ridiculous mistake to make,
Speaker 2: but it was Russian guys in the Middle East doing that.
Speaker 2: And then all the stuff that they set up crashed
Speaker 2: and sank into the ground, and then they were worried about,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is natural gas that's lighted, which
Speaker 2: apparently is what you're supposed to do. It's I don't know,
Speaker 2: to burn it, so it and it has forever burned.
Speaker 2: It's a pit that's forever. Yeah, yeah, where is it?
Speaker 2: It is called the Doorway to Hell, the Big Circle one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's always on fire, and giant spiders are attracted
Speaker 2: to the heat they jump in there.
Speaker 1: So it's just you're lying about that, bart No.
Speaker 2: I saw one story that said it, and then I look,
Speaker 2: and then they showed the spiders. They're huge, So it
Speaker 2: would be the worst place ever to be, Like, you're
Speaker 2: just in hell and it rains giant desert spiders.
Speaker 1: I can't the spider part needed to be you lying.
Speaker 1: It's horrible.
Speaker 2: I hate it. It's the doorway to Hell, I think.
Speaker 2: Or yeah, and then look if you don't believe me,
Speaker 2: look up spiders and it'll show futures of the spiders.
Speaker 2: They obviously burned in there, but they for some reason
Speaker 2: they leap into the heat.
Speaker 1: Oh. That's incredibly problematic for me in so many ways, just.
Speaker 2: That it exists. So let's focus on that. I mean,
Speaker 2: there's lights in.
Speaker 1: The sky or something else, it's not that. Here's what
Speaker 1: we can get back to. I just made an executive
Speaker 1: decision we should go to Swingers because it's the same
Speaker 1: exact place.
Speaker 2: Yes and closer, Yes, let's do it. We were heading
Speaker 2: into I don't know why there's traffic on a Sunday, but.
Speaker 1: Of course there is. How big giant spiders like children's
Speaker 1: size children though.
Speaker 2: The size of a large dead man's hands, that's just
Speaker 2: a hand of probably adams family size. Yes, yes, it's
Speaker 2: the size of a severed hand in a box. That
Speaker 2: does a lot of the Butler got a strange idea.
Speaker 2: That's the best idea that ever came out of them.
Speaker 2: That is the greatest show.
Speaker 1: I love the Family. I love both the movies they
Speaker 1: hold up. I've watched them recently. Is that, then, sense
Speaker 1: you both disagree with me?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, I'm just trying to think. Is Adam's family the
Speaker 1: one that's different than the monsters? The monsters had the
Speaker 1: one cousin that was regular, and they treated her like
Speaker 1: she was a weirdo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. One of them had
Speaker 2: to be ripping off the other, and no one ever
Speaker 2: talks about.
Speaker 3: Which came first. I think the monsters really did come first.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, hard to say. I just rewatched Beetlejuice too.
Speaker 2: That in spite of the fact that Michael Keaton is
Speaker 2: kind of ridiculous.
Speaker 1: But he's so good in that he's the best.
Speaker 2: I went to watch a bird and they would a
Speaker 2: compilation of him in different things like Multiplicity and all
Speaker 2: these Okay, do all these movies?
Speaker 1: All right? Just almost t bone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we almost got t boned. But look it's so casual.
Speaker 2: Ready take me now?
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally the concept of death now yeah, just during
Speaker 3: this podcast he worked it out.
Speaker 2: I think, well, I had that two weeks that was
Speaker 2: going to be the best two weeks.
Speaker 1: You're not going to get any better.
Speaker 2: So that's checked out the last Yeah, I mean, come on,
Speaker 2: am I really going to have a baby or whatever?
Speaker 1: So you pretty easy? God?
Speaker 3: I feel that way sometimes, like I have in no
Speaker 3: way suicidal or anything, but weirdly, there are good times,
Speaker 3: especially if you're like a cool like I'll just go
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 1: If I died to Mark, like, what else.
Speaker 2: Is gonna happen? That's how I am On airplanes when
Speaker 2: everyone's freaking.
Speaker 1: Out, I'm like, guys, can I tell you that that's
Speaker 1: the Warriors way? You are supposed to think that way
Speaker 1: the way I'm like, it's the best way to think.
Speaker 1: Cool ship, that's that's the best way to that's your mindset.
Speaker 1: That should be your mindset. All the time. That's how
Speaker 1: that's how you are braves. Yeah, but I think that
Speaker 1: mindset for me, and I'm not trying to bring it down.
Speaker 3: But it comes from like no one's gonna be bombed
Speaker 3: except my mom.
Speaker 1: Stop it, April Richardson bomb. It's not like anybody's gonna go.
Speaker 3: Well, now, how am I gonna feed myself?
Speaker 1: Like? No one's depending on April? You think if you die,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to stop eating for at least three
Speaker 1: days because I won't be able to you guys know what,
Speaker 1: I'm candy will be ruined and I'll never have a
Speaker 1: Take five again as well.
Speaker 2: Our true TV gigs don't ruin this.
Speaker 3: Never mind, I think that Chris fairbags his livelihood.
Speaker 2: Yes, people are dependent on you. It's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: You have the same You were saying the same thing,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like, I don't have a
Speaker 3: baby that's gonna die because I'm not breastfeeding it.
Speaker 1: You don't know that that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes I'm worried that my fear of dying is
Speaker 2: why I don't have a baby on my tip.
Speaker 1: You know, guys, I feel like this is my deepest episode.
Speaker 2: Am I not fulfilling all of the things in life?
Speaker 2: Am I scared of relationships? All that? Because I think
Speaker 2: I'm gonna die. I want to disappoint anyone, so I
Speaker 2: might as well just.
Speaker 1: I have that because of our moms. I have the
Speaker 1: thing of I don't what's the point of getting into
Speaker 1: a relationship if I'm just gonna go crazy?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Right, goddam that was too heavy sing No, No.
Speaker 2: It's just I expected it to be my voice saying
Speaker 2: it's all.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, let's go back to that.
Speaker 3: Because what does that that have to do with?
Speaker 1: Because our moms have Alzheimer's, and they both it's early onset,
Speaker 1: and for me anyway, you get it through the mother.
Speaker 1: So women are more. I mean, I'm not women are more,
Speaker 1: but you can have a test to find out if
Speaker 1: you're going to get it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then and then there's why what do you do
Speaker 2: with that information?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Then you And also it's not necessarily accurate. It's
Speaker 1: like they you know, it's based on things. It's also fucked.
Speaker 1: But anyway, my thing is like, who wants to be
Speaker 1: the person sitting in the corner, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Both grandma's yeah one, my also great grandma and my
Speaker 2: mom I think there's a pretty good chance I don't
Speaker 2: need to get.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're all gonna I'm gonna die of cancer
Speaker 3: like everyone in my family. Real dad died of cancer
Speaker 3: and he was like fifty.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm realizing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's like, do I want to be the
Speaker 3: person who a person has to be in hospice with
Speaker 3: me while I chat?
Speaker 1: No? But I mean, sorry, you're right. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I doubt lay anybody's what you're struggling with that at all.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying like kind of every we all have
Speaker 3: the idea that everyone's like, oh, what if you dial We're.
Speaker 1: All gonna fucking dial in.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're married, you're gonna dialog. If you have
Speaker 3: five hundred kids, you're gonna dialogue.
Speaker 1: Well, but it's not long to hope that you die,
Speaker 1: that the person you marry dies holding your hand because
Speaker 1: they die because you die. I mean, that happens, and
Speaker 1: it's the greatest.
Speaker 2: No. I mean like he no, like with cats or
Speaker 2: a dog, a dog that lives with a cat, or.
Speaker 1: A dog that lays on your grain. Right, dog did
Speaker 1: suicide because you dude. I just went to my parents.
Speaker 3: I went to Savannah to hang out my nana because
Speaker 3: my granddaddy just died again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was like a little con hang out with
Speaker 1: my nana.
Speaker 3: I did because she's my granddaddy died, so.
Speaker 1: You really calling your granddaddy. Yeah, nana and granddaddy.
Speaker 3: But the crazy thing is, so I go and my
Speaker 3: nanna has a bad ass, like she's almost ninety, she's gonna.
Speaker 1: Out live everybody in the world. Does she smoke?
Speaker 3: She does not smoke, and she like walks three miles
Speaker 3: a day. She's fit as ship.
Speaker 1: So I go to hang out and we're totally gonna go.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go.
Speaker 3: We went on like a Thumbe Loui's road trip, Like
Speaker 3: I drove her to my parents' vacation house in Florida anyway, whatever,
Speaker 3: So my granddaddy really did just die like a month ago,
Speaker 3: not even.
Speaker 1: So she goes, She's like, I want to go to
Speaker 1: the cemetery before we go.
Speaker 2: I'm like okay.
Speaker 1: And he's so freshly.
Speaker 3: Dead that it doesn't even have a headstone yet, and
Speaker 3: like the dirt is still like a mound of it's
Speaker 3: not flushed with like everybody else's ship. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 3: super weird. Yeah, super like, hey, granddaddy, you just got there.
Speaker 1: You expect a hand?
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, completely, And because my Nana, she goes she
Speaker 3: was like, I got a good deal on these plots
Speaker 3: she bought.
Speaker 1: There were cemetery plots, like twenty years ago.
Speaker 3: Sure, so she's like, yeah, I got these, got a
Speaker 3: good deal. I'm like, that's weird. And then her headstone
Speaker 3: is already there. Oh, like it already says her name,
Speaker 3: you know, nineteen to a question mark. And she's like
Speaker 3: laughing about it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Nana, because.
Speaker 3: She was standing next to it and like dancing, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, what are you doing.
Speaker 1: Please tell me you took a picture that's hilarious.
Speaker 3: Dance Yeah, And it was like she was laughing and
Speaker 3: I'm like, nah, this is weirding me out seeing you
Speaker 3: alive standing next to your headstone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she was like she is the best. She's like,
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna be under here in a few years ago, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'll stop saying that much. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: She's amazing.
Speaker 3: But yeah, she just was like, you know, she's almost ninety,
Speaker 3: so she's like, yeah, I'll be here in a minute.
Speaker 2: There's did you know that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: There's also a parking Okay is it this one?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Oh yeah, you can just park in there.
Speaker 1: For three You have to take a left left though, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's to.
Speaker 2: Go right there sometimes kaya not take a laugh at
Speaker 2: My name is Karen Cocar.
Speaker 1: That's how rich I am.
Speaker 2: Well, your grandma's great.
Speaker 1: You know what's awesome is that That's what you're gonna remember.
Speaker 1: She gave you a little gift. That's what you're gonna
Speaker 1: remember when you go visit her grave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can talk about that like at her funeral
Speaker 2: or something completely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you when you sing the song A cool moments.
Speaker 1: Savannah Nana number one coach. She was fitted ship my granny.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, Savannah to hang with my nana. She was
Speaker 2: fit and ship and she ate lots of nanas bananas.
Speaker 2: I said, sorry, well we're here at Swingers.
Speaker 1: Thank god.
Speaker 2: Anything you want to plug, April, except the fact that
Speaker 2: we got a show and it's gonna be awesome, I.
Speaker 1: Mean not that any Listen. I do feel left out,
Speaker 1: please remember, and Karen and.
Speaker 2: I had to you have a do you want to
Speaker 2: plug your you have another podcast? You want?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, but this podcast is my baby and my
Speaker 1: first love.
Speaker 2: Yes, I know, I promise you I'm not.
Speaker 1: But my friend Georgia and I started a podcast called
Speaker 1: My Favorite Murder because we sit around talking about our
Speaker 1: favorite serial killers and murders and creepy things have happened.
Speaker 1: So we decided to record it and that's what it is,
Speaker 1: and I think it's coming out maybe next week or
Speaker 1: the week after. On Feral Audio, me and Georgia hartstart.
Speaker 2: That's yeah, that was the one, okay, because yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's the one part of dying we didn't talk about today, is.
Speaker 1: Murdering forced dying? Yeah yeah, yeah, next time.
Speaker 2: Next time on dying.
Speaker 1: Do you need a die? No? Oh anything you need
Speaker 1: to plug Chris?
Speaker 2: You know, no, No, I mean just everything's going.
Speaker 1: Great, good Yeah, yeah, that's good news.
Speaker 2: By my album, Yeah do it.
Speaker 1: Chris is great at stand up comedy.
Speaker 2: It's old.
Speaker 1: No, but it's fun to listen to albums, like when
Speaker 1: you're stuck in traffic April.
Speaker 2: Do you have an album?
Speaker 3: No way, I'm too scared to make one. It's scared
Speaker 3: to have a permanent record.
Speaker 2: It is scary.
Speaker 1: You gotta do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fun though.
Speaker 1: It's good times.
Speaker 2: Well, this was a fun episode. Sorry, it was Graham. Yes, scary.
Speaker 1: I have an album coming out. Me and Drennan. Our
Speaker 1: album which is called I Don't Care I Like It
Speaker 1: is coming out of November twentieth.
Speaker 2: That's terrific. Did you already have a mini, an LP
Speaker 2: and EP? I have.
Speaker 1: I have an EP and I also have a full
Speaker 1: pe called Live at the Bootleg.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's your that's just you.
Speaker 1: I thought that's me. You were there?
Speaker 2: Yes, it was great of a great concert apes.
Speaker 1: Were you there?
Speaker 2: Was?
Speaker 1: Definitely? Yeah? And then but we just did We recorded
Speaker 1: two different nights at Largo and we put together a
Speaker 1: live album from those over the summer.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh I love it. I'm excited to hear that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let's go to iTunes. Give us a rating on this podcast.
Speaker 2: Yes please, you've been listening to Do you Need a Ride?
Speaker 2: With April Richardson?
Speaker 1: Thank you very much, Thanks April.
Speaker 2: D y n A R.