1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: All right, here we go, Steve. All right, subject lighted 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: up and in love. Here Stephen Shirley. I am a 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,120 Speaker 1: thirty three year old single female and for the past 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: year or so, I have been in a romance, having 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: a romance with an inmate that's been in prison for 6 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: seventeen years. He's my best friend's brother and he tried 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,119 Speaker 1: to date me for many years and would write me letters, 8 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: but I just wasn't interested. Well, last year, I had 9 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: surgery and I was out of commission for a while, 10 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: and he sent me the sweetest letters and cards. When 11 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 1: his mother found out about us, she told me he 12 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: might be exonerated because of some new evidence in the case. 13 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 1: I started having mixed feelings about him coming home. His 14 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 1: mom told me that I should really give him a 15 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: chance at romance if he is released. I've fallen in 16 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,840 Speaker 1: love with him, and it's hard for me to believe 17 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: it and explain it. I can't tell my family or 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: my co workers about him. I tell him that my 19 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: man has a demanding job and he travels a lot, 20 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: so that is why they haven't met him. They have 21 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: noticed that I am happier now and smiling whenever I 22 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: mentioned this guide to them, and I am honest with 23 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: him about my feelings toward his incarceration, and he gets 24 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: very upset when I told him. I am ashamed to 25 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: tell the people that I am closest to me that 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: are closest to me about him. I am an accountant 27 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: and I have worked hard to secure a top position 28 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: in my company, and I don't want to be judged. 29 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: And there's also the possibility that he won't be released, 30 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: so I would have told everyone for nothing. So what 31 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,000 Speaker 1: do you think, Stephen Shirley. Should I just put it 32 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: out there that I'm dating a man in prison and 33 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: hopes that my family will accept him as the man 34 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: I love, or should I end it with him? Please advise? Well, 35 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: first of all, these are two extremes. Should you tell 36 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: your family or should you end it with him? Can 37 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: we meet somewhere in the middle. First of all, I 38 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: wouldn't tell anyone anything. Why. First of you don't owe 39 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: them any explanation just yet, you don't even have all 40 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: the facts. His mom said there because of some new 41 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: evidence in the case, he might be exonerated. So that's 42 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: not even a possibility yet, it's just a mite at 43 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: this point. There's a possibility you say later in the 44 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 1: letter that he won't be released, So you didn't even 45 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,360 Speaker 1: say what he's been in for seventeen years for. You 46 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: didn't share that with us, So you know, that's kind 47 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: of hard for us to really make, you know, a 48 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: sound decision. What is he in there for? What is 49 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,519 Speaker 1: this new evidence? There are a lot of things that 50 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: are left out of this letter. You've been dating him, 51 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: or you've been talking to him, not dating him. You've 52 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: been talking to him for just a little over a year. 53 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: He's been in there for seventeen years. So there's a 54 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: lot that needs to transpire before you know, you start 55 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: taking this relationship too seriously and to the next level. 56 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 1: Wait to see what's going to happen. Calm it on 57 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: down again. You know, you put in here for a 58 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: reason that you have a very demanding job, that he 59 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 1: has a demanding job. But more than that, you have 60 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: an important job and you've worked hard to secure a 61 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: top position at your company. You don't want to be judged. 62 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: You have to take all this into consideration, okay, and 63 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: again the possibility that he won't be released, So I say, 64 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 1: just hold off and see what's going to happen with 65 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: this situation. You know, will he be exonerated and you 66 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: and he gets upset when you tell him things, so 67 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: you know it's still too early to tell. I just say, wait, 68 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: all right, that's what I say. Just wait, Steve, I'm 69 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: locked up and I'm in love. Now, locked up and 70 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: in love. You're thirty three years old. You've been having 71 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: his romance with an inmate that's been in prison for 72 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: seven teen years. Your best friend's brother. He tried to 73 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 1: date you for a lot of years and would write 74 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: me letters, but I just wasn't interested. Now, I'm assuming 75 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: that you're saying is that he's tried to date you 76 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: from there for a lot of years, because see, if 77 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:27,159 Speaker 1: he'd been in jail seventeen years, you thirty three, I'm 78 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: assuming he went in when you was sixteen sixteen, he 79 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: must have went in when you were sixteen. Then you 80 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: say he's tried to date you for many years, that's 81 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: why he'd been in now or he's sixteen too, I 82 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: don't know, but he started just had to start at 83 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: sixteen for you. Well, last year you had surgery and 84 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 1: you was out of commission for a while, and well 85 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: he sent me the sweetest letters in cards. Well, he 86 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,919 Speaker 1: got time, right, he got time, he got time to 87 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,840 Speaker 1: be sweet. Nah. I appreciate the brother too. I ain't 88 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,840 Speaker 1: knocking it at all. Probably cheered your made you feel 89 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: somebody probably did more for you than anybody else, so 90 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 1: I can understand that. Yeah. Well, then when his mother 91 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: found out about us, about us, she told me he 92 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 1: might be exonerated cause of some new evidence in this case, 93 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: I started having mixed feelings about him coming home. What 94 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: so you don't really want him to come home, Mamma 95 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: told me I should really give him a chance at romance. Well, 96 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 1: somebody gonna give him a chance at romance. Hang on, 97 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: been in that seventeen years, you damn right? Hang on, Steve, Well, 98 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: I've heard two of Steve's a response. Well, as far 99 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: as I can get to this thirty three year old 100 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: woman for the past years, so been having a romance 101 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,159 Speaker 1: with an inmate that's been in prison for seventeen years. 102 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: He's your her friend's brother, and he tried to date 103 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: me for many years, which means, you know, if she's 104 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: thirty three, for many years somewhere from between age sixteen 105 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: and nine, he'd been hitting on him. Well, but I 106 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: just wasn't interested. Probably because he was in jail, and 107 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: I understand that. Well, last year I had surgery and 108 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: now was out of commission for a while, and he 109 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: sent me the sweetest letters in cars. I mean, that's cool, 110 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: he got time, but you know, I appreciate the brother 111 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: doing that. Anyway, Well, when his mother found out about it, 112 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: she told me that he might be exonerated cause of 113 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: some new evidence. In this case. I don't know what 114 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: he did or what his sentence is, but it's some 115 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: new evidence. And then you say you started having mixed 116 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: feelings about him coming home, and his mom told you 117 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: that you ought to really give him a chance of 118 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,440 Speaker 1: romance if he is released. Well, that's the first thing 119 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,600 Speaker 1: gonna be on his mind when he get out, some romance. 120 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: You can believe that, So you mean you to start 121 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: working your mind around that. But you say, then you flip, 122 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: you have a mixed rope feelings. Then you say you 123 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: didn't fell in love with him, And it's hard for 124 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: me to believe it or explain it. Now. I've seen 125 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: a lot of inmate shows. There's a lot of women 126 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: that will marry inmates. That's y'all's business, if that's what 127 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: you want to do with your life and you can't 128 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: explain it. Yeah, I don't, because he's treating you better 129 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:28,559 Speaker 1: than anybody else, probably the reason why. And I can't 130 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,239 Speaker 1: tell my family or my co workers about him because 131 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: you know why, because you didn't already. This is what 132 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: you have said. My man got a demanding job. You 133 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: better believe he'd do. He got tougher his job. He 134 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 1: got to sit there and can't leave his job. He 135 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 1: ain't got no rights on his job and to pay 136 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: on his job. It's about is way way below the 137 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: poverty low. So yeah, he got a demand and ask job. 138 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: Then you say that he travels a lot. Now, he 139 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: ain't going nowhere. They don't travel in prison. He might 140 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 1: be able to go down the hallway. He can go 141 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: on another till Mike can work to his job, but 142 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: he ain't traveling nowhere. So that's you telling them. That's 143 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: why they ain't met him yet. They have noticed that 144 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: I'm happy and now I'm smiling Whenever I mentioned this 145 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: guy to them. You in love with him. I'm honest 146 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: with him about my feelings towards his incarceration, though, and 147 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: he got mad when I told him that. I'm shamed 148 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: to tell the people that are closest to me about him. Oh, oh, 149 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,559 Speaker 1: you don't wanna tell nobody about me? Dog, No, she 150 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,679 Speaker 1: can't because she didn't lie how she gonna tell them 151 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: about you? And she didn't say that you had a 152 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: demanding job. So you didn't build this relationship up wrong. 153 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: You should have just said on the beginning what you felt. 154 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: But since you didn't, built up this lie, now you 155 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: can't tell nobody the rest of it. Because you have 156 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: said he got a demanding job and he traveled a lot. 157 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: That's why y'all ain't meet him yet. That ain't the truth. 158 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: That cause they can't meet him because they ain't everybody 159 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: got time to drive all the way up there, Steve, huh, 160 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 1: Stop And I don't even know if you're driving up there. 161 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: He could be out of state somewhere. Ain'tybody got time 162 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: for this? Anybody fit to meet him? Now? I ain't 163 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: got the real nothing in I got to bring this 164 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: lady in Now. I'm an accountant, and I don't worked 165 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: harder to kill top position in my company, and I 166 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: don't want to be judged. Well, damn it, you're gonna 167 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: get judged because you'd have told everybody what your little 168 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: line asks that your man gotta demand a job, and 169 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: he traveled a lot. His job don't pay good the 170 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: demanding parties. He can't ever leave his job. He traveling 171 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: no where you doing all the traveling. And then it's 172 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: also the possibility that he won't be released. This sounding 173 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: crazier in this letter, So why don't you wait until 174 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: he gets released to share everybody with your man? But 175 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: then you're gonna have to explain to him why all 176 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: of a sudden, now he did every day. Now he 177 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: didn't went from it. He stayed gone justice at the house, 178 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,760 Speaker 1: and he ain't working. So I just put it out 179 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: there that I'm dating the man in prison. I don't 180 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: think you should. I don't give a damn about him 181 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: being mad. Now he can support you with him letters 182 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: in cards, but you gotta wait till you get sick again. 183 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: He can't send you none of this money because he 184 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: needs money on his books. You've been doing that, let's 185 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 1: admit it. Now. Should you put it out there as 186 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 1: you're dating the man in prison? No, because you gonna 187 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: sound crazy because you have already told him that he 188 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: has a demanding job and he travels a lot, and 189 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 1: that's why y'all ain't met him, then you're gonna double back. 190 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 1: I can say he an inmate, lady, don't mess your 191 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: job up down there. This is crazy. Now. I ain't 192 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: saying you want to break up with him and leave 193 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: me alone. I don't think you should. You want to 194 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,959 Speaker 1: love the man. He probably a good man. It's a 195 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 1: good people in prison that made a lot of mistakes. 196 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: So love you man like you love you. Go down. 197 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: They're married a man if you want to. But you 198 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: ain't got to share all this information? Or should I 199 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:25,439 Speaker 1: just end it with him? No, you ain't got to 200 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: end it with him. You know you're a good dude. 201 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: Damn sure, ain't got to tell everybody because you just 202 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: told me to sound crazy. Yes, all right, we gotta 203 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: get out of here and email us our Instagram us 204 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: your thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, 205 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: or you can check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 206 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 1: You're listening to show