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Speaker 1: You've planned your wedding and now let the real fun

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Speaker 1: step of the way. Plus now with group gifting, your

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Speaker 1: friends and family can go in together on that dream

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Speaker 1: gift Petri Sofa anyone, So go for it. Start your

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Speaker 1: Crate and Barrel Registry now at Crton Barrel dot com

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Speaker 1: slash Wedding dash Registry. This is Ben and Ashley, I

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Speaker 1: almost famous in depth. It's a rainy day. We're up

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Speaker 1: in Napa Valley. Ashley and I are together having a

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Speaker 1: glass of wine. This is my first glass of wine

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Speaker 1: in a week. Really, you know why I want to diet.

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Speaker 1: I know I am too, so I've been trying to

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Speaker 1: be better. But like I've gone three days without it.

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Speaker 1: So I'm drinking a Glasswe We'll see what this takes me.

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Speaker 1: This could get weird for me today. Um, but we're

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Speaker 1: here with one of our favorite people, Amanda stanton Amanda

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Speaker 1: stanton Um was on Ben Higgins's season of The Bachelor. Um.

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Speaker 1: She's also appeared on Paradise. I had a couple of

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Speaker 1: relationships that we'll talk about during the podcast, a lot

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Speaker 1: of lessons, learned a lot of um amazing accomplishments along

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Speaker 1: the way. But I want to set the mood right now.

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Speaker 1: We're having a glass of wine. We're sitting across from

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Speaker 1: each other at a beautiful table and a beautiful resort

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Speaker 1: with a fire going, and it's raining outside. So if

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Speaker 1: I start snoring because I'm pretty relaxed, I feel like

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Speaker 1: Ben's doing a fireside chat right now. It's kind of

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Speaker 1: a fireside chat. Amanda, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: having me. Can I ask her a little like warm

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Speaker 1: up question? Since we are in Napa, I mean ard

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Speaker 1: drinking wine? What is your wine of choice? So right

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Speaker 1: now we're drinking Chardonnay. So I'm a big white wine person.

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Speaker 1: You are, yeah, but I've been really into like the

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Speaker 1: sauvignon blanc lately. Isn't that white? It's white? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: But I used to be like strictly chardonnay. Yeah, okay, yes,

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Speaker 1: you're like you're like a housewife of Orange County basically basically, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm on my way there. Okay, that could really be

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Speaker 1: your next show. I'm sure you can find your way

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Speaker 1: on there. I want to start this whole thing. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's say talking about Let's let's backtrack. Let's start in

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Speaker 1: the middle, little backtrack after that. Okay, I met you

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Speaker 1: obviously during The Bachelor. Um, I remember you from night

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Speaker 1: one because you have this like and I think Ashley

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Speaker 1: will completely agree with me. You have this beauty about

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Speaker 1: you that that radiates and stands out. And I remember

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Speaker 1: one night one going that girl is gorgeous and she

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Speaker 1: doesn't talk, Yes, doesn't talk, didn't say a word, like

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Speaker 1: we sat down. When I think of Amanda, I think

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Speaker 1: of her being a talker. Actually she's just quiet, but

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Speaker 1: I think her voice is awesome. I do know. I

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Speaker 1: always thought that you had a bad crap. You really

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Speaker 1: were that shy at night one. Yeah. So I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of people don't realize is like when I

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Speaker 1: went on the show, I was a single mom. I like,

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Speaker 1: I hadn't even got my nails done in two years.

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Speaker 1: It was with my kids all the time because my

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Speaker 1: family lived across the country. They lived in well not

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Speaker 1: across but in St. Louis, so I was like far

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Speaker 1: away from them, and I had my kids full time

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Speaker 1: at the time, so like I just hadn't been social

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Speaker 1: in a really long time. And then I was kind

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Speaker 1: of being like thrown into that. So my mom is

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Speaker 1: actually the one that nominated me for the show. And

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Speaker 1: I remember when the car was coming to pick me

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Speaker 1: up to take me there, I was like, I don't

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Speaker 1: think I can do it, Like I don't want to go.

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Speaker 1: My mom was like, you better get in the car, Amanda,

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Speaker 1: and so I went. But I was just like a

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Speaker 1: deer in headlights, Like I was so nervous, just because

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Speaker 1: like I had never been away from my kids, I've

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Speaker 1: never been social. I hadn't gone on the dating forever.

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Speaker 1: So it was just like a lot for me. Was

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Speaker 1: best super overwhelm. Was been your first date since your

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Speaker 1: husband husband? Yeah, it was. It was like my my

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Speaker 1: first date was like our Mexico date on the Hot

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Speaker 1: air balloon. This is my first date and like a

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Speaker 1: very long time to do so it was fun. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was great, but it was just different for me.

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Speaker 1: Because like you know, most of the girls that were

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Speaker 1: going on the show had been like single for a

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Speaker 1: while or they were young, and just my life was

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Speaker 1: just very different before then, so I was nervous. You know.

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Speaker 1: One of the things that stand out to me about

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Speaker 1: the season the Bachelor is the only time I ever

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Speaker 1: got really mad at the show. They made me tuck

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Speaker 1: Amanda's kids in the bed, and I went to her hometown,

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Speaker 1: and I was excited about meeting her family, and I

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Speaker 1: remember sitting a ground I'm not gonna I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: tuck her kids in the bed, and I knew that

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Speaker 1: was something that everybody wanted, wanted to have happened, and

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Speaker 1: I felt like at the time it was I remember

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Speaker 1: this scenari we were sitting in the living when somebody

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Speaker 1: comes in and they go, Okay, it's time for bed, Ben,

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Speaker 1: howboult you go tuck the kids in? And I felt

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Speaker 1: like I was put on the spot in that moment.

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Speaker 1: And it was the only time I punched the window

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Speaker 1: in the van on the way home because I was

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Speaker 1: so angry because I felt like I was going to

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Speaker 1: destroy those kids. And also Amanda, you know, was sitting

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Speaker 1: there and I knew that they had to have a

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Speaker 1: big impact because I was that first day. I was

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Speaker 1: those kids first interaction with another man that had been

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Speaker 1: around their mom. Yeah. Yeah, I mean I think the

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Speaker 1: thing is, I mean that day specifically, there were so

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Speaker 1: many other people around, and it was just a crazy

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Speaker 1: day for them too. I hadn't seen them in like

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Speaker 1: six weeks. It was the longest I've ever been away

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Speaker 1: from them. And then we went to the beach, but

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Speaker 1: it was like you were there, but there was also

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Speaker 1: producers and tons of other people around. So I don't

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Speaker 1: think it they really like understood the situation, if that

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Speaker 1: makes sense. They're a little older now, so now they

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Speaker 1: get it. Like if I would bring a guy around,

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Speaker 1: they'd be like, who is this? This is your boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: But I mean, Charlie, it's so funny when I like

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Speaker 1: watched that whole episode back. She was literally a baby.

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Speaker 1: She was so small so she like she couldn't even talk,

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Speaker 1: so she didn't know but I couldn't talk yet. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she was a baby. Yeah. Um, Ben, did you know

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Speaker 1: going into Top four that you thought that it would

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Speaker 1: probably be the week that Amanda was gonna go home?

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Speaker 1: Or were you really just did not know? Where you

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Speaker 1: stood with her Kayla at the time, between the two

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Speaker 1: of them, Quite honestly, I knew that that was the

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Speaker 1: moment still that that Lauren and Joejo were standing out,

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Speaker 1: and which is why I singled out Kayla, Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: and a man and Kaylor And I think if I

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Speaker 1: remember my thought process, which it was with Becca as well, right,

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Speaker 1: I thought Becca was incredible Tilly and still his day,

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Speaker 1: I think I love Becca Um. But it was almost

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Speaker 1: like in my mind at the time, it was how

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Speaker 1: long do you want to keep somebody around when you

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Speaker 1: know at the end it's going to be somebody else?

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Speaker 1: And after meeting Amanda's kids, I was like, how much

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Speaker 1: do you want to keep a mom away from kids? Like?

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Speaker 1: How long can you continue to do that knowing that

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Speaker 1: you know at the end of this it's going to

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Speaker 1: be one of two other people and probably the one person.

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Speaker 1: But even then, you know, I know, it gets weird.

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Speaker 1: And I I think I feel for any bachelor down

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Speaker 1: in that final four bachelorrette because you do care about

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Speaker 1: them all, because you've met their families at this point

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Speaker 1: and we had a great, great hometown Um I got

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Speaker 1: to meet the whole family, the sister Um and like

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Speaker 1: you said, there are two kids, and they were they

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Speaker 1: were babies at the time, but Kins he still had

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Speaker 1: I remember you told me on the show like Kins

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Speaker 1: had this personality that was like radiant. And you're like

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Speaker 1: you remember this. We're driving the car in Malibu and

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Speaker 1: you said, uh no, there's Orange County and you said,

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Speaker 1: Kinds is really my best friend. I was like, that's funny,

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Speaker 1: that's a really cute mom thing to say. And then

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Speaker 1: I met her. Actually, yeah, tell a little bit, like

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Speaker 1: who is Like we see it on Instagram? They have

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Speaker 1: these massive personalities. Yeah, but why does she stand out

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Speaker 1: like that? Like why is she your best friend? Your daughter?

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Speaker 1: Intimidates me to be honest. No, yeah, she's she's like

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Speaker 1: she's something else. Um. So when she was born, it

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Speaker 1: was funny because like as soon as we took our

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Speaker 1: home from the hospital, like she already had a personality.

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Speaker 1: It was the funniest thing. But she's always just been

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Speaker 1: like super funny and she's just kids. Um. But shortly

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Speaker 1: after so a lot of people don't know this, but

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Speaker 1: when she was about ten months old, I actually split

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Speaker 1: from her dad and I moved out and we moved.

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Speaker 1: This is before my parents moved to St. Louis. We

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Speaker 1: moved back into my parents house, so like we just

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Speaker 1: kind of been through a lot and it was just

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Speaker 1: us too, and so we just kind of had this bond,

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Speaker 1: like it was just like me and her, you know,

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Speaker 1: And so we had that for a while and then

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Speaker 1: I ended up getting back together with her dad. But

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Speaker 1: then we had Charlie and she was kind of the

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Speaker 1: baby and kids was always like my helper. She was

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Speaker 1: my little sidekick. Like she's always looked out for me

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Speaker 1: all the time. And I think a lot of people

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Speaker 1: don't understand that relation kind of relationship, but like she's

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Speaker 1: like very protective over me. She's really mature for her age.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just have a very different relationship

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Speaker 1: with kids and I do with Charlie. Charlie's like my baby.

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Speaker 1: I'm like obsessed with her. I still baby talker, but

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Speaker 1: me and kids are just like best friends. She's like

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Speaker 1: my little sidekick. We've been through a lot together. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm just intrigue because like for all the moms out

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Speaker 1: there listening, yeah, like they get this. I don't. Like

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Speaker 1: I said it last week. I'm always learning something new

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Speaker 1: about Last week I learned about brawl size. But can

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Speaker 1: you explain a little bit like how you believe that works,

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Speaker 1: Like why is it that kids has looked at you

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Speaker 1: as a friend and like looked like tried to protect

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Speaker 1: you and had a maturity level level that's far beyond

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Speaker 1: her age. Yeah, she's six or seven. She just turned seven.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think part of it just like that's

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Speaker 1: who she is as a person. But then I think

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Speaker 1: part of it also, like I said, it's because we

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Speaker 1: went through a lot together, like when she was younger

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Speaker 1: and then she was kind of my helper always with Charlie,

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Speaker 1: And I don't know, I think it's a lot of things,

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Speaker 1: but I also just think it's just kind of her personality.

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Speaker 1: She's just like an old soul and like a kid's body.

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Speaker 1: So does she grill guys that you bring home? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So it's funny because she's very protective in me and

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Speaker 1: she's I know a lot of people think that they've

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Speaker 1: met all these guys and it's very far from the truth. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I'll explain that. But um, with my last relationship,

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Speaker 1: she was so weird about it. She wouldn't even like

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Speaker 1: throughout her entire relationship, she wouldn't let us, like sit

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Speaker 1: next together on the couch, Like if she was around,

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Speaker 1: she'd have to be in the middle. Like she's very protective,

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Speaker 1: she wants me alter herself all the time. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I think it also just depends on the person,

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Speaker 1: because when I was with Josh after the show, she

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Speaker 1: wasn't like that. So I think it's just kind of

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Speaker 1: I don't know, it just depends. Interesting, So the public

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Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation does in this perception that you've brought four

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Speaker 1: guys home, specifically the ones that have been public relationships, Ben, Josh, Robbie,

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Speaker 1: and then Bobby. But the girls have met all of them, right,

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Speaker 1: I know that they never got close to Robbie. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so so they met Ben, but it was just that

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Speaker 1: one day while we're filming. UM. And then obviously they

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Speaker 1: were close to Josh because you moved in with us

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Speaker 1: for a while. But you know, at that time, like

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Speaker 1: I actually thought like, oh, this is the person I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be with, Like this is the person I'm going

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Speaker 1: to marry. So you know, that didn't work out. Things

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Speaker 1: that don't always go as planned. Um. But then Robbie,

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Speaker 1: Robbie never met the kids, he was never around them,

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Speaker 1: never came to our house when they were there. The

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Speaker 1: only time he ever even saw them was like briefly

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Speaker 1: in the car when they were strapped in the back

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Speaker 1: of their car seats for like two seconds. But he

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Speaker 1: he's never ever met them, so I always thought it

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Speaker 1: was weird. I think he's mentioned it a few times.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you never met my kids, so we

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Speaker 1: could we can Robbie Tangent, but I don't think that

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Speaker 1: would be helpful for yeah, yeah, yeah, but anyways, I

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Speaker 1: get a little defensive there, um, but yeah, no, he didn't.

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Speaker 1: And then obviously Bobby met them, but I waited a

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Speaker 1: while to introduce Bobby to them too. So and he

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Speaker 1: didn't live with us. Yeah, he didn't live with them

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Speaker 1: until like the last month of your relationship, the last

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Speaker 1: two weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we didn't live together.

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Speaker 1: Would there be sleepovers with them with them around? Not

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Speaker 1: really because they go to their dad's house. So I

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Speaker 1: was always pretty good about like, well, only like you

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Speaker 1: can only stape over when the kids are with their dad.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, not really. But before we dive in, because

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Speaker 1: I do want to make sure that on this because

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Speaker 1: the relationships that have been on the show are public

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Speaker 1: and I think there's been so much left to the imagination.

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Speaker 1: It really, you know, the questions of how many how

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Speaker 1: many times, who have these guys met the kids, and

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Speaker 1: how much time it's been around him, and like this

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Speaker 1: stuff doesn't get seen, and I want to dive into that.

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Speaker 1: But before I do that, I really want to focus

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Speaker 1: because you launched off on The Bachelor and you were

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Speaker 1: this quiet figure who kind of went through this whole

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Speaker 1: process and it wasn't for a long time until I

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Speaker 1: found out that even had kids. Is there anything else

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Speaker 1: during this time on the show that you wish you

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Speaker 1: would have told me or that was kind of left

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Speaker 1: to the imagination, or there's anything you would have done differently? Um?

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Speaker 1: And and not to like win my heart over right,

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Speaker 1: Like that's not the that shouldn't be the ultimate goal,

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Speaker 1: but like just to better express who you are. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: um no, Actually, I think Guy even said this on

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Speaker 1: the show, was like, I'm like super happy on my

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Speaker 1: own And I think the biggest misconception about me is

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Speaker 1: I think people think that I'm like constantly searching for

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Speaker 1: like a guy or like a dad for my kids

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Speaker 1: or something, and it's so far from the truth. I

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Speaker 1: actually enjoy being single. Um, I love just doing my

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Speaker 1: own thing with my girls. And I think I kind

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Speaker 1: of even said that on your season. I think I

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Speaker 1: said something like, if I meet someone who makes my

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Speaker 1: life better than that's great. But I'm not like desperately

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Speaker 1: looking for somebody. And I think that's like the one

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Speaker 1: thing that just like shocks me. People are always like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, you're so focused on like finding a guy,

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Speaker 1: And I think obviously because I was on a show

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Speaker 1: where it's kind of what you're doing, people assume that

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Speaker 1: that's all I care about. But I think that's probably

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Speaker 1: the biggest misconception about me, just because actually really like

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Speaker 1: being single. And are you enjoying right now being single? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm like loving it right now. So I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people were like concerned about at the end

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Speaker 1: because people were like, oh my gosh, she's been so

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Speaker 1: public with Bobby and you even made did you make

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Speaker 1: a comment about how like you saw him being the

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Speaker 1: person you were going to marry before the breakup? Gosh.

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Speaker 1: So this was like probably two weeks or a week

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Speaker 1: and a half before he broke up with me. We

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Speaker 1: did an interview with US Weekly because my clothing line

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Speaker 1: was about to launch and so we did this whole

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Speaker 1: interview where they came to a house and they asked questions,

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Speaker 1: and I remember they asked me that question, and like

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Speaker 1: you know, sometimes when you're doing an interview, they'll ask

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Speaker 1: you a question that you're not fully comfortable answering, but

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Speaker 1: you answered anyways. And I didn't even think they would

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Speaker 1: use it because they asked so many and then they

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Speaker 1: ended up running. It was me being like, I can't

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Speaker 1: see him as like my future husband. But it wasn't

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Speaker 1: like I said that about Chris Souls. Guys. It was

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Speaker 1: more like, yeah, like I was put on the spot

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Speaker 1: and I was asked so like you know, when the

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Speaker 1: article looks like I was just like talking about him,

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Speaker 1: saying like, oh, I want to marry him, but really

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Speaker 1: I was like being asked that, and I was like

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Speaker 1: a little uncomfortable. But I mean, obviously when we moved

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Speaker 1: in together, I kind of told him like, this is

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Speaker 1: a big deal for me because I have kids and

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Speaker 1: I never wanted to move someone in with the kids

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Speaker 1: if I didn't see that lasting. So I mean I did,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know. I just I handled this break

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Speaker 1: up a lot differently than I have in the past,

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Speaker 1: so to give a little bit of perspective. Let's can

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Speaker 1: we I want to do this in a timeline, right,

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Speaker 1: so let's start with the Bachelor, and let's move through

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Speaker 1: these relationships. And because I think what we're gonna find

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Speaker 1: and knowing you a little bit that I do this

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Speaker 1: timeline is going to make more sense to the listener

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Speaker 1: at the end that you're going to continue have grown.

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Speaker 1: I believe you know the famous quote is that we're

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Speaker 1: products of our mistakes or failers, but we don't have

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Speaker 1: to be prisoners of it. And I think that's exactly

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Speaker 1: true for you, right, You've continued to even know, in

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Speaker 1: the public's eyes, we've seen a couple of relationships a

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Speaker 1: breakup and then you know, we're like, oh no, it's

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Speaker 1: happened again. And then then we maybe see the next relationship,

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Speaker 1: because that's what you're gonna promote, but we don't see

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Speaker 1: the in between and the lessons learned and and the

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Speaker 1: things that you've built upon them. So, you know, the

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Speaker 1: Bachelor left and as we just said, like what would

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Speaker 1: you have taken away? What did you learn from that?

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Speaker 1: And and you just mentioned you know, it built the

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Speaker 1: strength and like your character, and you start to speak

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Speaker 1: out about your family and you got maybe a little

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Speaker 1: more confidence, and then you went to Paradise and and

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Speaker 1: Ashley is obviously I always love to hear Actuley's perspective

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Speaker 1: on Paradise because she's been there and she found her

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Speaker 1: love there and Ben hasn't experienced it. Yeah, and so

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Speaker 1: it's it's fascinating. It's fascinating to me because I haven't

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Speaker 1: been there, and I don't know what that looks like.

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Speaker 1: But you met Josh, yes, and that was I think

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Speaker 1: I was with Lauren at the time. I was still

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Speaker 1: with Lauren when you met Josh. And remember the phone

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Speaker 1: call that she got from you saying, Hey, I'm with

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Speaker 1: somebody And we said who when you said Josh, and

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Speaker 1: I said, oh, but outside of the public, what drew

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Speaker 1: you to him? I mean, okay, he has some good quality. Also,

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Speaker 1: he is, like I wanted to let Manda say this,

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Speaker 1: but like from a girl's perspective when you first get

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Speaker 1: to know Josh, like in your first encounters, he's extremely

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Speaker 1: charming and he's like a magnet. Yes, he's a magnet

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Speaker 1: for a woman. Yeah, he's a gaston as I always

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Speaker 1: call him. So he's he's very charming. Um, he's like

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Speaker 1: he just like you said, Like when I came off

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Speaker 1: of The Bachelor, I was like finally being able to

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Speaker 1: put myself out there more. I was like becoming a

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Speaker 1: little more confident. And I still hadn't had a relationship

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Speaker 1: in a long time because you know, I guess you know,

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Speaker 1: Ben doesn't really count. Um. So I think it was

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Speaker 1: also like you said, he's just so charming. Um. But

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Speaker 1: also just he was like so into me from like

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Speaker 1: day one, and I think that just felt so good

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Speaker 1: to have somebody just be like so infatuated with me.

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Speaker 1: And he was cute, he told me all the right things. Um,

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Speaker 1: he really, I mean he has a lot of good qualities,

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Speaker 1: you know. So there were things that attract me to him.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna grill a little bit and you pull back.

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Speaker 1: You feel like, okay, this is was there enough for you?

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Speaker 1: Why say yes to a proposal? I mean, looking back now,

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Speaker 1: I think it's ridiculous in general to get engaged after

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Speaker 1: three weeks of knowing somebody. Um. And I think in

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Speaker 1: the beginning of a relationship, everyone's nice and especially and

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Speaker 1: we're in a we're in an environment where it's not

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Speaker 1: really real life. We're not working. There's really no stress.

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Speaker 1: We're just sitting on a beach all day. I didn't

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Speaker 1: meet his friends, I didn't meet his family. Um, but

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Speaker 1: I just think, you know, it was like that infatuation.

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Speaker 1: I think that was the reason why I was like, Yes,

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Speaker 1: Like everything that he was saying, I was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: that's exactly what I want. Like he wanted kids, he

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Speaker 1: loved kids. You couldn't wait to meet my kids. Like

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Speaker 1: everything that he said was just so exactly what I

390
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Speaker 1: was looking for. That I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is perfect in paradise. You can talk like that too,

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Speaker 1: and you never show how you actually are. So what

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Speaker 1: was she I don't don't understand. Um, Like you can

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00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,119
Speaker 1: just like talk about what you like and how you

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Speaker 1: deal with regular life and your morals and your values,

396
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Speaker 1: but you're not You're not actually like in like an

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Speaker 1: environment in which like they shine or are exposed. Yes, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: So I don't know. I mean you can you can

399
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Speaker 1: attest to it, like he kind of like he could

400
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Speaker 1: be cool. Oh yeah, I was. I'm gonna be I

401
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 1: was totally pro the two of them. I like the

402
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Speaker 1: way they were together. They were like so in love

403
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Speaker 1: and infatuated and like the lust was heavy and I

404
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Speaker 1: couldn't even there was not announce of me that really

405
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 1: wanted to be like Amanda, you shouldn't umandation. There's a

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00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:26,159
Speaker 1: reason that they never showed me talking to you, um

407
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 1: about my worries about him or and I t m

408
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Speaker 1: is worried about you with him because I just thought

409
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Speaker 1: I liked you guys together a lot, and he had

410
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Speaker 1: only shown me kindness. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I haven't been there. It makes sense when you

412
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Speaker 1: watch Paradise. It's worked for a few but yeah, you're

413
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Speaker 1: showing your best side, so every once in a while

414
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Speaker 1: getting really lucky and you're actually I think when somebody

415
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 1: is generally authentic from the beginning and you assume that

416
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Speaker 1: about the person, then it could work afterwards. But when

417
00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 1: that changes, things go bad. It It's interesting though, because

418
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Speaker 1: now you're really close with Andy Dorfman. Is that have

419
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Speaker 1: you bonded over Josh or is that? Is that odd? Okay?

420
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Speaker 1: So it's funny because the first time we hung out

421
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 1: was it was a while ago out in New York,

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Speaker 1: probably like almost two years ago, and the first time

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Speaker 1: we hung out we talked about him a little bit.

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Speaker 1: But it's funny because now we hang out and everybody

425
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: will like, we posted a photo together at stage coach

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Speaker 1: and people will be like, oh my god, I bet you,

427
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: like they talk about Josh and we actually don't anymore.

428
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,680
Speaker 1: It's like maybe the first time that we hung out,

429
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,120
Speaker 1: we did, but now like we we don't talk about

430
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 1: him at all anymore. Yeah, exactly, so like we don't

431
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 1: really talk about him at all, but yeah, at first

432
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,920
Speaker 1: we did, you know. I want to I want to

433
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,199
Speaker 1: pause here for a second because I don't want this

434
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,880
Speaker 1: to feel like we're going to continue to pull back

435
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 1: your pass through the whole podcast. I don't want us

436
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: to be a bachelor. This isn't what the in depth is.

437
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 1: It's not pulling back bachelor stories for the whole thing.

438
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: But we need to get through this to get to

439
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,879
Speaker 1: the end, which is where we're going to talk about

440
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: you and where you're at today and the lesson has learned.

441
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: But I think these stories will will help our listeners

442
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,920
Speaker 1: understand you more and so they're listening. Um, Amanda is

443
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 1: a lot more than this, and we have a lot

444
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 1: to talk about at the end when it comes to

445
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 1: some of the cool stuff that she's doing. Um. But

446
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 1: for now, let's let's continue to dive into the let's

447
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 1: in paradise. Um. So, so your relationship with Josh ended.

448
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,239
Speaker 1: Is there anything else that you feel like hasn't been

449
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: communicated when your relationship with Josh that you want the

450
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: public to know now? Um, I mean, that was the

451
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 1: hardest breakup I've ever been through, like even to this day,

452
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: because like I mean, I think you guys probably get

453
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 1: it to like you've had that one relationship where like

454
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 1: you were like so in love and like that spark

455
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: was there, and I feel like that's the hardest thing

456
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 1: to get over sometimes because I really thought for a

457
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 1: while that like, oh my god, like this is too

458
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: good to be true, like he's perfect. Um. And So

459
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,959
Speaker 1: it was really hard for me because just as we

460
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 1: as he of Din and just you know, as time

461
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: went on, I could just tell that things weren't going

462
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 1: to end up working. But it was still really hard

463
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 1: for me to break up with him because I cared

464
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,879
Speaker 1: about him. Um. So, after we broke up, we actually

465
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 1: went back and forth for a little while, like we're

466
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: still talking, and I mean things never really changed. I

467
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: feel like it just got kind of got worse. After

468
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 1: that because it was like a gray area. UM. But yeah,

469
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: it's still to this day, like the hardest breakup I've

470
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: ever gone through. So going off off that, UM, I

471
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: think that when it comes to breakups, when there is

472
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 1: like that initial like crazy feeling, the frenzy, I think

473
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 1: it's usually the daydreams dying, the daydreams that you had

474
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 1: about your life with that person dying, that is the

475
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 1: hardest thing to move on from. And then them it's

476
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 1: like the daydreams that you had about your future. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

477
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 1: like all the plans that you had. And and it's

478
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 1: funny too, like I think I I recently was broken

479
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 1: up with, but in the past, I've always been the

480
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 1: one to break up with somebody else. And I just

481
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 1: think it's so much harder because I started doubting myself, like, well,

482
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 1: should I have tried harder? Did I really need to

483
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 1: do that? Um? And I think that was kind of

484
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 1: the hardest part, was just like wondering if I made

485
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: the right decision or not. Um. But yeah, I know

486
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: I've been talking a lot about Jared and my upcoming wedding,

487
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,919
Speaker 1: But the thing that you may not know that is

488
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 1: my ultimate way of relaxing. When I'm feeling overwhelmed with

489
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: work and wedding planning, which is basically a second job,

490
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: I take a long, hot bath or shower, and then

491
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: when I get out, I put my feet on the

492
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 1: coziest bath mat ever that I got from our Crate

493
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 1: and Barrel Registry, and I wrapped myself in a Turkish robe.

494
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: They are the fluffiest thing. And then I plopped on

495
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: the couch, and I've got my lotions that I got

496
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: from Crate and Barrel in all these nice little containers.

497
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: It makes it look like a little bed and breakfast

498
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: in our place. And you probably wouldn't even think to

499
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 1: go to Crate and Barrel for candles and lotions and

500
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: all that, but they have all your bathroom needs. They

501
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: basically can turn your everyday bathroom into just the cutest

502
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: little luxurious spot in your home. We signed up for

503
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: a bunch of these bathroom supplies through our Crate and

504
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 1: Barrel Registry. They're timeless pieces. They're well made. You're never

505
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 1: gonna like look at them in a couple of years

506
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 1: and be like, oh, you know what, that's out of style,

507
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: or that doesn't look so good anymore. It's always gonna

508
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: look crisp, clean and high quality. So if you're engaged

509
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: out there are looking to start a registry, I highly

510
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 1: suggest going and starting one with Crate and Barrel. Just

511
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: go to Crate and Barrel dot com slash Wedding Dash registry. Again,

512
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,199
Speaker 1: you're engaged out there, be like Jared and me and

513
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: sign up for a Crate and Barrel registry. It's got

514
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: everything you're gonna need for your home together as a couple.

515
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 1: You're adult home, your own little paradise. Um, it's Crate

516
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: and Barrel dot com slash Wedding Dash Registry. You're you

517
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 1: poured yourself into this relation, Josh, and there was a

518
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: lot of um I think write ups on just what

519
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: happened at the end and the kind of the ugliness

520
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,160
Speaker 1: of it, and we don't dig into that as much

521
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,880
Speaker 1: of how did you know and how did you communicate?

522
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 1: It was over? I think we've gotten a lot of

523
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 1: emails in the past about breakups and about that back

524
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 1: and forth. Can be friends with xs and how does

525
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: that operate? But with Josh, it did linger and you've

526
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: been open up to share that. How did you know

527
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: when it was done? Um? So, to be completely honest,

528
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: So we broke up back in I can't remember when

529
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 1: it was, and we were just going back and forth

530
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: just but it was like private, and I think like

531
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: we didn't weren't very public about it. I think we

532
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: got caught one time like out at dinner or something,

533
00:25:58,119 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 1: but like I hadn't even told my family that I

534
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,199
Speaker 1: was hanging out him. Um. But I think it just

535
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 1: wasn't going anywhere, like after months and months, and we

536
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: were like we were fighting more when we were trying

537
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: to work on things then we were when we were together,

538
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 1: just because it was in that like gray area where

539
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 1: there's like you don't really know the boundaries, um. And

540
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 1: I just think it got to a point where we

541
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 1: were both just kind of like exhausted. So, yeah, did

542
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: your break up with Josh spur on the idea of

543
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: writing a book? Is Josh like the main reason that

544
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,479
Speaker 1: you wrote this book? And is he the result of

545
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: now to Bachelorrette books? I was I was telling my

546
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: mom actually was talking about it was like he's like

547
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: the reverse Taylor Swift books about him because it was

548
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 1: not fun, not because it was whimsical. Um yeah, but honestly,

549
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: like I had always wanted to write a book and

550
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 1: a lot of the reason I wanted to write a

551
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: book was more about like being a single mom and

552
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 1: all that kind of stuff, But he definitely that relationship

553
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: motivated me a little bit more. And what's the called.

554
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: It's called now Accepting Roses and it cost September. Yeah,

555
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 1: so it's weird because I've been writing it for so long,

556
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: like it was a really long process. But I'm really

557
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: excited for it to come out, and I was able

558
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: to be a part of the process and later on

559
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: I can't I can't wait to talk to you about it,

560
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 1: um and read it. You know you've obviously I think

561
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 1: you're writing a book. Makes sense because then following Josh,

562
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: you started dating Robbie Hayes dating dating. Yeah. When you

563
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: say kind of, what do you mean by kind of?

564
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 1: I mean, Okay, anyone who watched Bachelor in Paradise could

565
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: tell that I wasn't like that into Josh status. Yeah,

566
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: and I think he just became my friend throughout it,

567
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: like everybody was coupled up, everyone had their people, and

568
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: like he was like my person, Like he was the

569
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: person I hung out with the most. And it wasn't

570
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: really that I really liked him. It was more just

571
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: like he was my friend, Like he was my best

572
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: friend there. So after I broke up with them on

573
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: the show, when I got home, like he was the

574
00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: one that I wanted to call and talk to you

575
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: about every thing, and he hated me. So I was like, well,

576
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 1: it's me definitely's hang out And we ended up hanging

577
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: out a few times after the show. Hated you, he

578
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 1: did hated me, no, no, after after I broke up

579
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: with him on the show, And then I felt terrible

580
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 1: because I was like, you broke up with him on

581
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: the show, but you still intended to hang out when

582
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: you got back to l A. You just couldn't like

583
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: continue the show as like a committed couple. Yeah, but

584
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: I think he was under the impression we were going

585
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: to leave the show together as a couple. So I

586
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: think he was kind of surprised, and he hated me

587
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 1: after after that for like for like a couple of days,

588
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 1: not like a long period of time. You know, he

589
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 1: was just like upset. So there's this phenomenon with Bachelor

590
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: in Paradise where it is strongly encouraged for you to

591
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: get engaged or you know, leave alone, because this show

592
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: is about the show. The Bachelor of the Bachelorette, and

593
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 1: Paradise is more about finding like lifelong relationships, not just

594
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,360
Speaker 1: somebody that you're going to like date for a while

595
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: and like maybe you'll see for a couple of months

596
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: or you're going to continue to like test out the waters.

597
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 1: So that's what you had with Robbie. It's what I

598
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: had once. And I think it's kind of confusing to

599
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 1: the audience because they're like, oh, why are they still talking.

600
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 1: It's like, well, because we probably figured that we weren't

601
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: going to get married, but we still wanted to see

602
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,959
Speaker 1: each other a little bit. Yeah, just to bring up

603
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: a couple that makes like there's breakups last year on

604
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: the show that then they do they become friends and

605
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: they get back together, which happened to you and Robbie, Right, Yeah,

606
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 1: I mean you guys continue to talk. Where did like

607
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: where did that lead? Like walk us through how how

608
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: that relationship ended up moving forward and where did it?

609
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: Where did that end? So, I mean before before I

610
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: was going on Paradise, I already had this like idea

611
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 1: of Robbie where I was just never thought in a

612
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 1: million years that I would ever go for him. But

613
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: then throughout the show. I mean, he was really sweet

614
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: to me on the show, and like I said, we

615
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: became friends, like he was my best friend while filming

616
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: that season. Um, but I just knew it wasn't going

617
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 1: anywhere like I you saw me in Paradise season one,

618
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: Like it just wasn't it wasn't the same. I just

619
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: didn't really have like strong feelings for him. So that's

620
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: why we ended it. But then when we got home,

621
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: it was like I still wanted to talk, I still

622
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: wanted to hang out, and so we did a little bit. Um.

623
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: But after that, it was kind of like a different Robbie,

624
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: Like the Robbie that I heard about, or the Robbie

625
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: that I like, I thought that I would never go for.

626
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: It is kind of who he was when we got home. Um,

627
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: And it just it was like, you know, like I said,

628
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: I was the one that was saying like a you

629
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: could tell if you watch this story. I wasn't really

630
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: that into him. But at the end of the day,

631
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 1: it was kind of like a respect thing, like we

632
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 1: don't have to date, but like at least be respectful. Um.

633
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you guys know about everything that happened

634
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: after that, the whole concert that you memories back to me.

635
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: I can't remember specifically the concert concert yeah, yeah, so

636
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: it was just like a respect thing, you know. Yeah,

637
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 1: and so then like those things came out and also emails. Yeah,

638
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: I mean he just really yeah. Um, I don't know

639
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: why he was so angry at me. Um, but yeah,

640
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: I was actually not going to bring up the whole

641
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: concert thing at the what show is it After Paradise

642
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: or some kind of talk show like that, and the

643
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: Twins brought it up, which I mean, I think it

644
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: was fine. Um, but I know he was really upset

645
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: about that being brought up. But I don't know. I

646
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 1: always say, like, I feel like this happened not just

647
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: in my situation, but other situations where something gets brought

648
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: up on the show and guys get so upset, but

649
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 1: they're the ones that did it, you know what I mean.

650
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,959
Speaker 1: So it's like, I'm sorry that it got brought up.

651
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: Do you feel like Robbie had stronger feelings for you

652
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: than you had for him, or do you think this

653
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: was all a response for maybe not ending up a

654
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 1: bachelor couple. I think I think he definitely. I mean,

655
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 1: this is my this is just how I feel. I

656
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: don't know how he felt, but I think he probably

657
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 1: had ulterior motives. I think he cared about being a

658
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: bachelor couple. I think he really wanted that. I think

659
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: he really cared about like the Instagram, fame and all

660
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. So how quickly it's fleeting. Yes,

661
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: when his last thing you heard about him, Um, I

662
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 1: don't know what he's doing. But you're right. I mean

663
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 1: but and I mean that, But I also want to

664
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: say that it's a good point for anybody out there,

665
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: is like, fame is fleeting. It is not something worthy

666
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: to chase after. Relevancy is not a pursuit worth having.

667
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: And so as a result, like if your pursuit is that,

668
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,040
Speaker 1: you're going to spend years of your life chasing emptiness,

669
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 1: and where do you have the turn? You narrowly missed

670
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: him this year of state coach. I heard that. So yeah,

671
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't hate like now I could care less,

672
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, that's surprising to me.

673
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: He said some really mean things publicly. I know, I

674
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: think I'm just too forgiving of a person just in general,

675
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: or are Yeah, I know what, I'm traid of conflict.

676
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: You just want to avoid conflict. I think I just

677
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: want to. I think it's a mix above. I like,

678
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 1: you know, they say like forgive but don't forget. I

679
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 1: feel like I forgive and forget too much. But yeah,

680
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: I mean no, I mean I would never be friends

681
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: with Robbie again, but I don't hate him. Like, if

682
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: I saw him, I would say hi. I wouldn't try

683
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: to linger around by any means, but you would say hi.

684
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: I would probably say, hey, how was it to see

685
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 1: him walk on the Paradise sand a year later? At

686
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: the end, I didn't even know that he went on.

687
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: That's how much I don't keep track he went on.

688
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: You would know did he go on? Oh I remember? Now?

689
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: Okay myself he did? Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, I

690
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 1: did not face me, so I don't totally forgot he

691
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: even did that. That's right, that's surprising. Um, we're getting close.

692
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: We have one more to talk about, right, Um, Let's

693
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 1: pause for a second to fill up our glasses of

694
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: wine and we'll get back in a second. Alright, we

695
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: filled up with wine glasses. I'm gonna start the second

696
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: part of the podcast with the store about me because

697
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 1: I like stories about me, but it also has to

698
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: do with Amanda So, Amanda, I have a story that

699
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: I think you'll be really surprised about. And it's one

700
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: that if I would have told you two years ago,

701
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been able to do it. Maybe a

702
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: year and a half a guy, I still would have

703
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,360
Speaker 1: been able to do it. Today I can. So, you know,

704
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: Lauren and I broke up? Did you know that I

705
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,760
Speaker 1: didn't know? Okay, well wait, now let's come up. Okay,

706
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:29,800
Speaker 1: you tell a story, then I'll ask the question. So, um,

707
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: we broke up and I was in Chicago at the time.

708
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: With the breakup, I was on the road, and no

709
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 1: matter what, things weren't good. But I was on the

710
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 1: road working. We weren't like split and she called and

711
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 1: things happened, and so I went from Chicago to New

712
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: York City and I flew to New York City for

713
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 1: another business trip. So this was on a I went

714
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 1: to Hyra on Monday, New York on a Wednesday. I

715
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: was there Wednesday through Friday, and I landed with my boss,

716
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 1: who is one of my best friends, and he at

717
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,879
Speaker 1: the time. I just when I land I told him, hey,

718
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 1: Lauren and I have split. And I was a mess.

719
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: I was, and and understandably so I think, like I

720
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: was just a mess, and he's like, all right, well

721
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 1: this is we're gonna do. We're gonna go do our

722
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,720
Speaker 1: meeting and then I'm gonna take you out to the

723
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: best dinner. This is the story. No, I'm gonna take

724
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: you out to the best dinner and then um, we're

725
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 1: just gonna drink a bottle of wine and we're gonna

726
00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: talk and you can do whatever you want. It was

727
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,320
Speaker 1: like perfect, sounds great. He's like, but I we'annna do that.

728
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,759
Speaker 1: We go to get close. It's like, let's go to

729
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 1: Zara and Laura and I just did an event in

730
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: Zara not long before that, and this is that. This

731
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: is God's on the street what happened. And he's like,

732
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 1: let's go to Zarah because it's on fifth FIfF or whatever,

733
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,959
Speaker 1: and we're right here and our hotel was right there,

734
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: and so we did. And I walked in and I

735
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys ever feel this way, or

736
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: anybody out there ever feels this way, but I started

737
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 1: to get sweaty and like anxious, and I started to

738
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,920
Speaker 1: feel like and and the last thing you want to

739
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: do after a breakup is cr X. Right like at

740
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 1: the last thing you want to do. And I was like,

741
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 1: I feel like Laurence here and he's like, well, maybe

742
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 1: because you just did an event here and he knew that,

743
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, it's probably it, but like

744
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: I have memories with her, like recently right here, like

745
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: I feel like she's here. And he's like, this is

746
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: this is weird. You're being crazy, like you really are

747
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 1: messed up, Like you gotta get calmed down. So I

748
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,880
Speaker 1: was like, you're right. We bought our clothes and I'll

749
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: try to tell the story, so I don't want to

750
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: undervalue this story. It's a weird story. So we bought

751
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 1: the clothes that we wanted for the night. I went

752
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 1: back to the hotel, showered up, changed, and my buddies

753
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 1: that live in New York, my college roommates, called, They're like, hey,

754
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 1: what are you up to? And I told him we're

755
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,920
Speaker 1: going to dinner with my buddy, but I have an

756
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 1: hour and a half. Um, I mean, jet a bar

757
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: and let's have some drinks. And I asked in fighted

758
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: my buddy with me, and they were at a bar

759
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: just like six fts over, and so we walked and

760
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 1: I started feeling that way again and I was like, man,

761
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,399
Speaker 1: I'm jacked up, like I can't do this, Like I'm

762
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 1: more messed up than I even thought it was. I'm

763
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: like feeling that WARN's watching me, like I'm feeling that

764
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: she's close. I'm sweating like he he literally looked at

765
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 1: me like you're going crazy, like you're having panic attacks,

766
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 1: and like there's no good reason why. And I was like,

767
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,280
Speaker 1: I know. And so we get to the street corner

768
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: where the bar is and we see the sign. I remember,

769
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: he and I both looked up and we saw the sign,

770
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: and he goes stop. We looked down, and you and

771
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,839
Speaker 1: Lauren are standing on the street corner across from us

772
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: in New York City, not more than ten ft from us,

773
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: and I ran. I remember this story once he started

774
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:33,479
Speaker 1: telling in what I ran, and I ran, I ran.

775
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: We didn't see you, obviously, I don't think you did.

776
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: I want to ask you if you did. I was

777
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: literally I was literally from you, like ten ft away

778
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 1: from you, guys, standing there looking at you and I'm

779
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: not kidding you. After on three different occasions that in

780
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: those hours, feeling like I and it could still be

781
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: just weird because of the fact that like it was

782
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 1: fresh and it was new and I just didn't The

783
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 1: last thing I want to do is run into her,

784
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: you know. But literally that came true, and you guys

785
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: are standing across the street from us. I don't know

786
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 1: if you remember that trips it had to be. It

787
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,720
Speaker 1: was the week we broke up. Yeah, yeah, I remember. Yeah. Wait,

788
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 1: so yeah, we definitely didn't see it was a second

789
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 1: night or during the day. It was during the day.

790
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, so crazy. You met up with me

791
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 1: and Jared afterwards? Yeah, yeah, did you know we were

792
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 1: in New York? Had no clue. Oh my gosh. I

793
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: thought I thought she was in Denver because when she called,

794
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: she was in Denver at the house and she was

795
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: going to start packing up her stuff. And then later

796
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 1: that day she was in New York. And then no,

797
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 1: two days later she was in New York because I

798
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: was in Chicago and I flew to New York and

799
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: she she was there. And so I literally saw you

800
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 1: too standing across the street, which was my worst nightmare

801
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 1: and still to this day, well still to this day,

802
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,840
Speaker 1: it shocks me. And it's just a weird thing to

803
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,799
Speaker 1: think about. That's crazy. Yeah, Okay, Well that leads into

804
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: this question. So you guys are like super cool and

805
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: like he always talks you up on the podcast. He's

806
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: always like a man of really cool chick, really cool chick.

807
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 1: Right you are his ex is best friend from the show.

808
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 1: Ye you know, we all have our real life best friends,

809
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: but you guys are the closest from the show. So, like,

810
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,479
Speaker 1: was there ever like some weird hurl where you guys

811
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: were like, Okay, well, because this weird community we live in,

812
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: we're going to have to be cordial and cool or

813
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: what you just you you were never affected like by

814
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: the he said she said thing? Wait with with Ben? Okay,

815
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: I get it. I get what you're saying. Um No,

816
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: I mean like I've always thought been was like the

817
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 1: sweetest guy. Like I literally tell everybody that whenever people

818
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: will always ask me, like it's been really as nice

819
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: as see us on the show. I'm like, now, you

820
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 1: guys like he really is the nicest guy. Um And,

821
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: I mean I think even Laura knew, like Ben is

822
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: such a nice guy. Like just because it didn't work

823
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 1: out between him doesn't mean that he's not a good person.

824
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: Um So I think I mean, I honestly, I feel

825
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: like it was a pretty cordial break up. I mean,

826
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: I'm sure it sucks for both of you, but it

827
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:53,879
Speaker 1: never really put me in a spot where he had

828
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:57,919
Speaker 1: to like hate Ben or chose sides like it was pretty.

829
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 1: It was a pretty like mature break up, right for

830
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,120
Speaker 1: the most part. I think so, Yeah, I mean I think, yeah,

831
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: I think it's mature as you can make it. Right. Yeah,

832
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: I mean, it always sucks, it's always hard, But I

833
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 1: would say, and I think we've I don't know if

834
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 1: we've ever talked about on the podcast or not. And

835
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: if so, everybody out there listening, I apologize, you're gonna

836
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 1: hear it again. Um. There is an element, and I

837
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,919
Speaker 1: don't know if it exists in the Bachelor world because

838
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 1: there hasn't been a lot of breakups outside of like

839
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: Caitlin and Sean um with couples that have made it

840
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: from the show. I did feel not from you, from others,

841
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: isolated and like like the army was out against me,

842
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 1: and I couldn't understand why. Right. I remember when she

843
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: started dating Devon and there was comments that were like,

844
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 1: I've never seen you happier. I am so excited for you.

845
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: This heart makes my heart happy, which are nice comments

846
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 1: taken at a surface level, but I remember them and

847
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: I I this was the hardest part for me about

848
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: the breakup, because the breakup definitely should have happened, but

849
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 1: it was I felt like, all of a sudden, people

850
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: that I thought were friends of mine as well, I

851
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 1: knew they weren't. They weren't. I knew they weren't as

852
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 1: close to me as they were with Lauren. I felt

853
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 1: like I was an outsider. Yeah, and that really sucked. Yeah,

854
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 1: that's hard. Do you do you Let's let's try to

855
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: break that down though. Do you know why? Like why

856
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 1: does that have to happen in relationships in general? We

857
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: just talked about it with you and I. We've also

858
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 1: talked about it before some of your breakups, Like why

859
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: does that a byproduct? I think I think like whenever

860
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: someone or whenever anyone goes through a breakup, I think

861
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: people feel like it has to be like somebody's fault

862
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 1: or like this person was in the wrong, where like

863
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 1: sometimes like nobody's in the wrong, Like it just is

864
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: what it is. But I just think that everybody, whether

865
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 1: it's just people on Instagram or friends of the person

866
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: that you're with, like people always just think they have

867
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 1: to blame somebody um or like someone has to be

868
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 1: the bad guy, and I think that's kind of where

869
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: it comes from. And I also think breakups are hard

870
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: and whether or not some moves on faster than the

871
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: other person. I mean, I'm sure it was hard for

872
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: both of you, um, but yeah, I don't. I never

873
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,239
Speaker 1: left a mean comment today today think I think people

874
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 1: from the show definitely did know that. And it does

875
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: it confuses you because you're or what your my assumption

876
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 1: goes to. And I think it caused a lot of resentment.

877
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 1: And I think this is a good lesson to Lauren

878
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: for anybody out there. What it did was it made

879
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: my mind go to, Lauren is talking negative about me,

880
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:33,240
Speaker 1: or there is some like something uncommunicated that's been harboring

881
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: in her heart that she's angry at and she's telling

882
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: her friends, which is a result her friends are standing

883
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 1: up for her and with her. And I was going

884
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: my question was what did I do wrong? Where do

885
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 1: we miss the mark? And what am I missing? Because

886
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: you don't have answers right, I'm not going to call

887
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,319
Speaker 1: Lauren six months later when she has a boyfriend and

888
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: go wait, ye, why why are your friends saying you're

889
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: so happy now that you're not going to get those answers.

890
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: But it's how I feel like it's not just an

891
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: isolated case, right, that's not unfamiliar to people out there.

892
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: They've gone through breakups and social media comes out against them.

893
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: But why you have insight now on the both sides.

894
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: You know that happened, you know those feelings were felt

895
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 1: by me, and then say multip people outside of that,

896
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 1: they have gone through breakups. Why is that the byproduct?

897
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: Why why are friends standing up saying I'm so happy

898
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: for you. They know that hurts that other person and

899
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: they know the X is going to see it. Yeah,

900
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like there's I mean, like you said,

901
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: I just really think there's there's not really an explanation

902
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 1: for or a reason for it. I think it's kind

903
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:36,600
Speaker 1: of just like almost it's sad to say that there

904
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 1: shouldn't be resentment there, especially if there was really no

905
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: reason why you guys broke up. No one did anything wrong.

906
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 1: But I just think naturally we just resort to like

907
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 1: feeling bitter in some kind of way about something because

908
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,400
Speaker 1: nothing's ever going to go fully your way in a breakup,

909
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: Like the other person can be like super respectful to you,

910
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: but you're just not going to agree with like every

911
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 1: single thing that that person is doing. And I just

912
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,959
Speaker 1: feel like it's really easy to get better about things,

913
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Yeah, that's a good point. We

914
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 1: resort to like bitterness and yeah, and we lose like

915
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: rationale sometimes and logic. Breakups are really hard. They're so hard.

916
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: And that leads us into this last one for you,

917
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: um with Bobby. Yeah, it's it's the one. I mean,

918
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: Ashley and I are both like we were shocked. I actually,

919
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:27,280
Speaker 1: you know how I found out about this At Indiana University.

920
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: I was doing a thing for a guy that you

921
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: used in a restaurant in my hometown that I really

922
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: liked to open up on the Blue me Town. I

923
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,960
Speaker 1: was down there visiting it for dinner. Somebody came up

924
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 1: and goes, how sad are you about Amanda and Bobby.

925
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know about it because I

926
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: think it cut us all off guard. Yeah, I mean

927
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: I was pretty caught off guard, to be honest. How

928
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: is Bobby take how do you take being sort of

929
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: an Instagram celebrity without ever having kind of like a voice,

930
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,439
Speaker 1: Because like all of us referred to like oh, Manda

931
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: and Bobby Bobby, But like I've never met Bobby, and

932
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: I just had like an image of what Bobby must

933
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: be like. Did he like that attention? Yeah, I think

934
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 1: he did. He did, and I think, I mean, I'll

935
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 1: go I'll start from the beginning with that is just

936
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: like Okay, So when I met Bobby, we we just

937
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: met online. We started talking. We were talking for a

938
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 1: few months before we ever met in person. Um. And

939
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: in the past, I've always dated guys, not always, but

940
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: since since my divorce, I've dated guys that were in

941
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: the spotlight from the show, like guys that loved attention. Um.

942
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: I mean Josh was like very outgoing, friendly, center of

943
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: attention kind of guy, like lots of energy um Kins

944
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: and Charles Dad's like that also, like very energetic, outgoing.

945
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 1: You always said that they were simpler. Yeah, Like I've

946
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,720
Speaker 1: always dated guys that love being the center of attention,

947
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 1: and I've always kind of been like the one that

948
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: wasn't quite as much like the quieter one. And when

949
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 1: I met Bobby, he was super quiet, he shy. Um.

950
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: He was just so different, Like he doesn't drink, he

951
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,359
Speaker 1: doesn't go out, like he's just very different than any

952
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 1: other guy I dated. And I think at the time,

953
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 1: I thought like, oh, this is good for me, Like

954
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: this is what I need. I need someone that's like

955
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: more mellow and as a homebody and you know, is

956
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 1: quiet and all that. So I think I thought it

957
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: was really good for me and something that I needed,

958
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: like as a mom um. So that's kind of like

959
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 1: what attracted me to him in the first place. But

960
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: our relationship wasn't as easy in the beginning as some

961
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 1: of other relationships that I've had, Like you saw like

962
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 1: the spark I had with Josh, Like it wasn't really

963
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 1: like that with Bobby. It was more like, to be honest,

964
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,839
Speaker 1: it was almost more like a friendship throughout our relationship.

965
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 1: And I think I was cool with that sometimes because

966
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: I felt like we're best friends, like we stay home

967
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 1: all the time with the kids, like it's great. But

968
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 1: I do feel like I wasn't fully being myself throughout

969
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: our entire relationship, Like I feel like I wasn't allowed

970
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 1: to really be myself. And I don't think I realized

971
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 1: that our entire relationship until after we broke up. You

972
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 1: know how that happen. And sometimes you kind of have

973
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: your blinders on and I told you, guys, with Josh

974
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: or in the past, when I've broken up with people,

975
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 1: I always thought like, did I try hard enough? So

976
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: I really tried this time, and I think I was

977
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,479
Speaker 1: forcing it too much because I think in the past

978
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 1: I felt like I didn't try hard enough, and this

979
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 1: time I think I tried too hard to where like

980
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: I just think we weren't right for each other because

981
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,400
Speaker 1: you felt like it was the right thing. You were

982
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 1: trying hard because the image of him being clean cut

983
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 1: and tall, dark and handsome and then not a drinker

984
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 1: and loving the kids was like what in your mind

985
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,839
Speaker 1: it was ideal got on paper, And I think I

986
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 1: was forcing it. But like I said, I don't really

987
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 1: think our entire relationship. I was like fully myself, like

988
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: even my sister said, and this, this is not a

989
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: job at him in any way. I mean, it's a

990
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,840
Speaker 1: job at me. Like my sister said, she's After we

991
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 1: broke up with my sister and I went to New

992
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: York this weekend. It was gonna sound so mean, but

993
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 1: I swear it's not meant to be mean. But I

994
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: was with my sister. We're in New York, and we

995
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: were like having so much fun. We went to dinner,

996
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 1: we went to catch like, we were drinking. We're just

997
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: having a fun Girl's Nate. And my sister was like,

998
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be mean, but she's like, you're

999
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: just so much more fun than when you're with Bobby.

1000
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 1: And I was like, really, She's like, no offense, but

1001
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 1: like I would have rather hung out with like a rock.

1002
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 1: When you're with Bobby, you were so boring. So she

1003
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,919
Speaker 1: told me, yeah, and that's not anything on him, it's

1004
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 1: just on me, Like, I just don't think I was myself. Okay. Yeah,

1005
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: I want to get back to Bobby. Okay, but I

1006
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: want to stop here, okay, because I think this is

1007
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:28,840
Speaker 1: our first pivot point in your story. Yeah, I'm going

1008
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: to say something that you're probably gonna not love, okay,

1009
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,399
Speaker 1: and you're going to have to respond. Alright, Fine, I'm

1010
00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 1: used to that. I think you've consistently adapted to who

1011
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 1: the man is in your life to make it work. Yeah,

1012
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 1: it's true, and you've done it now in the public

1013
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: a couple of times, and with Bobby than once. What

1014
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 1: have you learned from that? If anything? And you don't

1015
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 1: have to have learned anything, but if your sister is

1016
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: willing to tell you, Amanda, you were boring and now

1017
00:48:54,600 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: you're not. Yeah, I think it's pretty clear what she's saying. Uh, um, okay,

1018
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: So I mean in the past, Yeah, I mean I

1019
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 1: think I've I've tried really hard to make relationships work,

1020
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 1: but I don't actually feel like I've ever really changed

1021
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: who I was. I think it was just more like,

1022
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,520
Speaker 1: like I told you guys, I thought that this was

1023
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: good for me, like this is what I need. So

1024
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 1: I think it was more like in my head, it

1025
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 1: wasn't really that I changed, like as a person or

1026
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: I didn't change my beliefs in my opinions or how

1027
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 1: I feel about things. And Bobby and I, yeah, like

1028
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: Bobby and I had very different beliefs on like a

1029
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 1: lot of things. It was more just like, yeah, like

1030
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 1: a lifestyle change, like I was just boring. But that's suppressing,

1031
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 1: like your personality something that, yeah, that should be shining.

1032
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: You have a great you are, You're you know, let's

1033
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 1: let's love on Amanda for a second. Terrific mom, bubbly, uh,

1034
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: super personal and kind, very easy to talk, easy to

1035
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 1: talk to you. I think when you take those things away,

1036
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: you become a shell of yourself, which ultimately becomes you

1037
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: probably a less likable or at least a less authentic

1038
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 1: version of yourself, which is unfair to any relationship. And

1039
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 1: if that's who you've been, how do we stop that? Exactly?

1040
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 1: I mean? And that's my thing now, Like you know,

1041
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,359
Speaker 1: you learned something from every relationship that you're in, and

1042
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 1: this time around, I think it just kind of taught me.

1043
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: Like I might have thought something was good for me.

1044
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 1: I thought I needed something that maybe I didn't, but

1045
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: like I never really I think I just need someone

1046
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 1: obviously like anyone does that you can fully be yourself

1047
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: around and it just likes you for you and doesn't

1048
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 1: judge you if you are different than them in certain ways. Um,

1049
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean I do think in my last

1050
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: relationship I definitely conformed. But it was also one of

1051
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 1: those things like I really cared about him and like

1052
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: he was just different and I it wasn't in a

1053
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,720
Speaker 1: in any way that was like harmful or like toxic.

1054
00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: It was just like he was just different than me

1055
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:55,880
Speaker 1: and probably different than the person that I'm going to

1056
00:50:56,000 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 1: end up with, you know what I mean. So yeah,

1057
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: So with the Josh, you went back and forth a

1058
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 1: little bit where you're like, are broken up and went

1059
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 1: broken up with Bobby? Was it just a clean break?

1060
00:51:07,239 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 1: Pretty much left, He took all of his stuff and

1061
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: after a few days of um not talking, I was like,

1062
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: either you need to break up with me or you

1063
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: need to come back right now. But I'm done having

1064
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,799
Speaker 1: this period of like us not talking. I don't even

1065
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 1: know what you're doing. He wouldn't even answer my phone calls.

1066
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: It was like strictly like a couple of text messages

1067
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,840
Speaker 1: here and there. And so he was like, fine, I

1068
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 1: want to break up. So I was like, okay, but

1069
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:28,879
Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know if we break up, I'm

1070
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 1: not breaking up any back together because I feel like

1071
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: in the past that's what's made my break up so

1072
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 1: much harder. It's like continuing in that gray area, like

1073
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 1: I just don't do well with that um And so

1074
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:41,839
Speaker 1: he's like, okay, I want to break up. Well, then

1075
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 1: a couple of days later I was like, well, you

1076
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 1: kind of gave me an ultimatum. I didn't really want

1077
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:49,760
Speaker 1: to break up, but I also don't want to jump

1078
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,479
Speaker 1: back into it. So I think we should like take

1079
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 1: things slow and start dating, like you know, you can't

1080
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 1: backtrack exactly. And I was like, we just moved into

1081
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:05,479
Speaker 1: this house together. And he I lived an Irvine before,

1082
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: and I actually really liked it. Like he's he plays

1083
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 1: beach volleyball, so he's like I have to be by

1084
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:11,399
Speaker 1: the beach. Like he had like two cities you wanted

1085
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 1: to live in. It was either like Newport or Laguna.

1086
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 1: Like he was, you know, like a little picky when

1087
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 1: it came to like the house hunting process. So it's

1088
00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 1: like I got this house. I wouldn't have moved into

1089
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 1: that house if it weren't for him. Yeah, So it

1090
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: was kind of frustrating. But I was like, I just

1091
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 1: got this house literally like for us, like kind of

1092
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: for you. So how am I supposed to backtrack and

1093
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: be like okay, like let's go from taking this huge

1094
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 1: step in our relationship to like just dating again. I

1095
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 1: was like, no, so yeah, that's it. I don't think

1096
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:51,839
Speaker 1: you can can't. Yeah, I was like, that doesn't even

1097
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: make sense, Like, and I also, I don't. I don't

1098
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: do breaks in relationships. I don't know. I mean, I

1099
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,839
Speaker 1: think some people could probably do it in a healthy way,

1100
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I just don't, Like I said,

1101
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: I don't do well with that, like gray area. It's

1102
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 1: either like I don't know. I've heard of this method

1103
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 1: multiple times now and it is so wacky to me.

1104
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:11,880
Speaker 1: It's like, now you can't say I love you be

1105
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: dating seriously to like, and we just took a huge step.

1106
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 1: So I'm like, how do we and why do I

1107
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 1: just keep this house for me? You're not going to

1108
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 1: live here, You're going to get your own apartment, Like

1109
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 1: it was just odd. I was like, no, I guess

1110
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:27,720
Speaker 1: it matters what your definition of dating though is, because

1111
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 1: I do think there's something sweet and I'm just like

1112
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 1: processing this as you say this in my head about

1113
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:37,240
Speaker 1: a couple that a couple of gets a divorce, they split,

1114
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: and they go, we want to start dating again? Different

1115
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,359
Speaker 1: I think like dating again, And so my mind is like,

1116
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 1: you just have to get that restart to say we

1117
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 1: need to intentionally start dating again, like having fun again,

1118
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 1: enjoying it to regain like a spark or something. But

1119
00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,160
Speaker 1: you can't. You can't be in a dating relationship break

1120
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 1: up and now say yeah, but like, let's just pull back, right,

1121
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 1: Let's not look for exclusiveivity. Let's pull back of our

1122
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 1: emotions and feelings and let's just like start hanging out exactly.

1123
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 1: And I think it makes sense because he's we're just

1124
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 1: like very different, like you know, we have like we're

1125
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 1: just very different people. So I think that's something that

1126
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: he would be able to do. Tell us more. You

1127
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: the public, I mean, it's not naive and you've read

1128
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 1: it like she's had all these field relationships. This is

1129
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 1: how we know Amanda, this is who she is. Of

1130
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 1: course this is going to happen. Is stuff that you

1131
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: have to hear of all the time. What is your

1132
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:36,720
Speaker 1: response then, I mean, I think over the past four years,

1133
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 1: I think with being on the show and just having

1134
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:44,200
Speaker 1: this last relationship, being a mom, having some of the

1135
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: opportunities that I've had, I think I've grown a lot

1136
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:49,760
Speaker 1: and I think I've I really like believe in myself

1137
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:51,879
Speaker 1: and who I am, and I know myself pretty well now,

1138
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: so it doesn't really bother me. But I think there's

1139
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: just times where it's like I know how hard I

1140
00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 1: tried in a relationship, or how good I was or

1141
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: all the m you know, things that I did to

1142
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 1: make a relationship work, and other people didn't see that.

1143
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 1: So I think sometimes that's frustrating. But I think That's

1144
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: something that you just have to deal with when you

1145
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,760
Speaker 1: know you're in the position that we're in where people

1146
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: are never going to know every detail and people are

1147
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 1: going to judge you, and you kind of just have

1148
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: to accept it for what it is and talk. You

1149
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 1: can't sit there and defend and say every detail of

1150
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 1: your life and you know it's not worth it. I

1151
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: talked about that with Caitlin. We were talking about how

1152
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: when you break up with somebody in the public eye,

1153
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 1: or even even not break up, just like little actions

1154
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: that you make, and you kind of part of you

1155
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: wants to go and tell the entire story to everyone,

1156
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 1: and then the other part of you know, is like

1157
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 1: how petty that would look and how you want to

1158
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 1: be above it, and you're like, where do I find

1159
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 1: this fine line of getting my story out there and

1160
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 1: its entirety but also not looking like this person that

1161
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 1: is just so obsessed with appearances and what other people

1162
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 1: think of it. It's that that's where it's like, it's

1163
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,839
Speaker 1: just not worth it, you know. At the Caitlin and Ica,

1164
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, is it's not worth

1165
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: It isn't worth it. So that's why we choose not

1166
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:09,760
Speaker 1: to and to continue to have that lingering frustration inside frustrating.

1167
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 1: There is a really good time to share that, and

1168
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 1: that's on the in depth almost Famous Podactyl. Because you're

1169
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 1: not you did you did not ask we asked you

1170
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: to do this. Yeah, and it gives you, hopefully time

1171
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 1: to talk it out. I mean, like like therapy, it's

1172
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 1: really nice than you. We just want to get to

1173
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 1: know you because your story ultimately really matters to the

1174
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:34,080
Speaker 1: people listening, and it really matters to us because I

1175
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 1: think what actually and I have seen is that this

1176
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 1: world gets confusing, it gets hard in situations like this exists,

1177
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 1: and it looks ugly and it may look like a

1178
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 1: soap proper as times, but ultimately we all need a

1179
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:50,840
Speaker 1: place to be us and we need a place to

1180
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: share our stories because stories do matter. And so like

1181
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 1: we said at the beginning, once you get to know

1182
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 1: somebody more, it's hard to hate them. Yeah. But yeah,

1183
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 1: like I was saying, how like I said, I was

1184
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 1: super blind taded at the time, and he broke up

1185
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 1: with me. But then afterwards I kind of, you know,

1186
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: realized that there were things like leading up to that,

1187
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 1: and then I think also like someone's in your relationship,

1188
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 1: you have your blinders on, and after you start seeing things.

1189
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: And there was like a couple of things that happened

1190
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 1: during our breakup and like how it was handled that

1191
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 1: I think made me realize a lot of things. Like, um,

1192
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 1: one of those things was like, obviously I said he

1193
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,800
Speaker 1: broke up with me, and I was already going through

1194
00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 1: a lot at the time, which I'm sure we're talking

1195
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 1: about leader, but like I had the whole like hacker

1196
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 1: situation at my doctor's office, and I was just going

1197
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 1: through a lot, and instead of asking me how I

1198
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:38,400
Speaker 1: want to handle it or letting me confirmed to everybody

1199
00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 1: that we broke up, he just kind of went ahead

1200
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 1: and handled it himself. And then also like set his

1201
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 1: Instagram to private when people were speculating to gain more followers,

1202
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 1: because I guess I don't understand. Yeah, it's uh, yeah,

1203
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 1: how do you gain more followers? But in private? Because

1204
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 1: if you're public, people can like lurk on your page

1205
00:57:55,920 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: and they can go speculate and not follow you. But

1206
00:57:57,960 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 1: if you go private, then they have to actually follow you.

1207
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 1: So it's like a tactic. And I don't know, I

1208
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 1: guess it just bothered me, Like you're using our breakup

1209
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: as a tactic to like gain followers. I don't know,

1210
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 1: it just kind of like just kind of rub me

1211
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 1: the wrong way, and it was just something I was like, yeah, yeah,

1212
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: And I was just like it just kind of not

1213
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 1: like made me insecure in any way. But I was like,

1214
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: I guess that's something you need to look out for.

1215
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 1: Is like like he's never had a serious girlfriend before. Yeah,

1216
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: Like he's never like you know, had a very serious,

1217
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 1: committed relationship. And I always kind of wondered, like, well,

1218
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:32,120
Speaker 1: like why with me? Like of course, like there's the option,

1219
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:33,560
Speaker 1: like you just really love me, but like how at

1220
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 1: that age, like do not have you not had like

1221
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 1: other serious relationships? And I think just like moving forward,

1222
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 1: you just have to be kind of careful, like oh,

1223
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 1: with someone's intentions, like do they want Instagram fame or

1224
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 1: like we said with Robbie, like do you just want

1225
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: to be a bachelor couple? Like there's always ulterior motives

1226
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 1: of people sometimes And I'm not saying that that's that's

1227
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 1: what Bobby had, Like I don't know that, but it's

1228
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 1: just like that made me feel that way a little bit.

1229
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,280
Speaker 1: You know. I was thinking about this and it's an

1230
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:07,080
Speaker 1: interesting I think correlation. I was trying to figure out

1231
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 1: how to date in the real world. Everybody was always asked,

1232
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 1: are you I was nervous about what people's intentions are

1233
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 1: is what I always got, right, and I was I

1234
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: was like, I don't think so, because I think you

1235
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 1: could read through them. And then I was I say

1236
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 1: about this a couple of months ago. You know, I'm

1237
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 1: the only bachelor as long as I remember, that's dating

1238
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: somebody outside the franchise. What about Nick? I mean, he's

1239
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:33,000
Speaker 1: not dating anybody. So he's not in a committed relationship

1240
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:38,640
Speaker 1: with anybody. Yea, yeah, And so it is a kind

1241
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 1: of a new frontier, right, I mean every other bachelor

1242
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 1: has somebody within the franchise or is not dating at all.

1243
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 1: And so Amanda, I get what you're saying, and like,

1244
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 1: it is a frontier that we don't know how to

1245
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: navigate now. I you know, I'm with Jessica, and I

1246
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 1: know her intentions are very pure, and it was very

1247
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: clear from the beginning what her intention works. I worked,

1248
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 1: I reached out to her, yeah, and she had no

1249
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 1: you know, no idea that was coming. But it is interesting,

1250
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: how do you think you do handle filtering through people's intentions.

1251
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I just think that you just you can.

1252
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 1: I feel like most people have like a gut feeling,

1253
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 1: and you can kind of tell, like you said, like

1254
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 1: you can tell if someone really likes you for you,

1255
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: if they have ulterior motives with everything. But I think

1256
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard to tell. I think sometimes it can

1257
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 1: be a mix of both. You know, I think sometimes

1258
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,160
Speaker 1: somebody can like you for you but also be a

1259
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 1: little intrigued by whatever else it is. Um But yeah,

1260
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:37,960
Speaker 1: it's hard because some people are really good at hiding things.

1261
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 1: So a lot of Bacheldoornation who's like really invested in

1262
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:46,320
Speaker 1: relationships after the show will say that they see a

1263
01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 1: lot of Robbie and Bobby. How do you think about that?

1264
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I actually hated that when we were dating.

1265
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,479
Speaker 1: I don't know, I didn't like that, but I guess

1266
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:00,480
Speaker 1: I see what they're saying and so a certain way,

1267
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 1: like they do have like a similar look, although like

1268
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,919
Speaker 1: I don't think they look too similar, but I see

1269
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 1: they have like the same kind of coloring and eyes,

1270
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 1: and I can see why people think that. Very different

1271
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: people though, So how do you explain to your daughters

1272
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 1: when you're going through a breakup, whether it be with

1273
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:24,760
Speaker 1: Bobby or Josh. Yeah. Um, so it was a lot

1274
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 1: different when I broke up with Josh than this time

1275
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 1: around when I broke with Bobby, because it was it

1276
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 1: was like about two and a half years difference. But

1277
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,760
Speaker 1: I feel like that makes a pretty big difference when

1278
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: that understand. Yeah, so like now they understand, and I

1279
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,680
Speaker 1: don't know, I have a pretty good and honest relationship

1280
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 1: with them, and I don't really have a problem kind

1281
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 1: of telling him how it is. And they knew Bobby

1282
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:47,800
Speaker 1: was my boyfriend just moved in together, and I kind

1283
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: of just told them like, oh, well, like me and

1284
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 1: Bobby broke up, and it was just pretty honest with

1285
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,960
Speaker 1: them about it because I don't know, I don't I know,

1286
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 1: there's like a lot of people out there that think that,

1287
01:01:58,280 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 1: and a lot of times it's the people that don't

1288
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 1: kids that feel this way. But they're like they just

1289
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:04,400
Speaker 1: think that you need to raise your kids to just

1290
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 1: think everything's like happy all the time and put on

1291
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 1: this front to your kids like this world is like perfect,

1292
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,400
Speaker 1: and I don't know, I just don't really agree with that.

1293
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 1: I'm pretty honest with them, like they know when I'm

1294
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 1: going through something like life has its ups and downs.

1295
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 1: Like people are together, they can break up. Like obviously

1296
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 1: there are things that I don't show them, and there's

1297
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:26,920
Speaker 1: things that I'm super adamant about, like I'll never argue

1298
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,280
Speaker 1: with somebody in front of them, you know, stuff like that.

1299
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 1: But for the most part, I can be pretty honest

1300
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 1: about what's going on with them. I think that's kind

1301
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 1: of how you handle it. I feel like that it's

1302
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 1: the I'm not a parent, so I feel even yeah,

1303
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 1: I have I feel weird even yeah, saying it has

1304
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: to be because you don't get a naive or uh

1305
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 1: an abstract view of life where it's everything is perfect

1306
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:52,560
Speaker 1: and it's false because then once you get into the

1307
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: real world and you go to college or whatever, everything

1308
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,640
Speaker 1: like people start you've experienced heartbreak for the first time,

1309
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 1: or people start arguing in front of you for the

1310
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 1: first time, or and then all of a sudden, there's

1311
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,919
Speaker 1: I think, I forget what the realization is. But there's

1312
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 1: a moment in every person's life where you realize your

1313
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:09,960
Speaker 1: your parents aren't perfect. Yeah, and it's like it's one

1314
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 1: of those like major life changing moments. If that could

1315
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 1: happen at an early age, I would imagine that it's

1316
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 1: a healthier foundation to build upon. I don't know, or

1317
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 1: like I think if you, you know, raise your kids

1318
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:22,280
Speaker 1: thinking like everything is perfect all the time, and then

1319
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 1: they grow up to start having their own problems and

1320
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 1: they're like, wait, like this isn't normal, This isn't supposed

1321
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 1: to be this way. Things are supposed to be perfect,

1322
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 1: And I think it's just like and I always am

1323
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 1: like like, so for this breakup, for example, they don't

1324
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:40,320
Speaker 1: see me like broken or like not being motivated, like

1325
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 1: I'm still feel exactly like I'm fine. So I think

1326
01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 1: it's good for them to see that, like, hey, like

1327
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 1: this didn't work out, like we're two different people, but

1328
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 1: like I'm still okay and I'm still happy and like

1329
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 1: life goes on and I don't know, I don't that's

1330
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: just personally how I choose to handle situations. But when

1331
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: you talk about parenting in general, I feel like it's

1332
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 1: so tricky because everybody parents in a different way, and

1333
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: everybody has such different beliefs, and if people don't agree

1334
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 1: with the way you parents, they'll like shame you or

1335
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 1: say that your kids are going to be messed up

1336
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,920
Speaker 1: someday because of how you're raising them. It's just like

1337
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 1: such a crazy thing. So that's why I don't really

1338
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 1: talk too much about how I handle situations with my

1339
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,400
Speaker 1: kids or talk about it, because that's what I believe in.

1340
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 1: But not everybody believes in handling things that way, and

1341
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 1: a lot of judgment comes from that sometimes. So are

1342
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:29,360
Speaker 1: the girls sad after these breakups? Are they like? Are

1343
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 1: we ever going to see them again? I think you

1344
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 1: made a comment on Instagram that, like the girls, we're

1345
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 1: going to see Bobby? But like does that change with time? No? No,

1346
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: So I I just think it's better. I mean, I

1347
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:41,440
Speaker 1: was dating him for a year. He didn't even meet

1348
01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 1: the kids for a few months into our relationship, so

1349
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 1: I just didn't see the need for him to still

1350
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 1: be coming around. I felt like that would just confuse

1351
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:50,800
Speaker 1: them even more. Um So, I just didn't think it

1352
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:55,960
Speaker 1: was necessary. But um so, Charlie, Charlie was pretty close

1353
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 1: with him. She's like younger, she really gets along with everyone.

1354
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:03,040
Speaker 1: She really dim But Kinsley, like I said, she was

1355
01:05:03,480 --> 01:05:05,760
Speaker 1: different with Bobby than she was with Josh. Like with Josh,

1356
01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: she was like like I loved him, was fine, Like

1357
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 1: I could like kiss Josh in front of her. She

1358
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:14,080
Speaker 1: didn't care with Bobby. She was very like I couldn't

1359
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:15,960
Speaker 1: even hold his hand, like, she was very clean. I

1360
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 1: don't know. She was very different this relationship, and I

1361
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 1: don't know whether it's the guy's vibe. Yeah, I have

1362
01:05:22,320 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 1: no idea, and so, I mean every kid's different, every

1363
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 1: relationships different, But I don't know. Kinds was kind of

1364
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 1: just like okay, like that's fine. Like they've asked about

1365
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:32,320
Speaker 1: him a couple of times, mostly when there's bugs in

1366
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:36,400
Speaker 1: the house, because they're like, who's going to kill this bug? Yeah,

1367
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:41,280
Speaker 1: not not me, I mean Charlie usually kills him. No, yea,

1368
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:45,360
Speaker 1: all right. My last question about your girls in relationships

1369
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:50,560
Speaker 1: is you you get so much flak and it drives

1370
01:05:50,600 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: me bananas when you're away on a trip, because people

1371
01:05:54,520 --> 01:05:56,720
Speaker 1: are like, who's taking care of your kids? Like do

1372
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:58,840
Speaker 1: you ever spend time with your kids? Or even every

1373
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 1: time you go to Paradise or do the Bachelor, it's

1374
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 1: like three weeks, three four weeks people, you know, right,

1375
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,479
Speaker 1: and yes that it's a very long amount of time.

1376
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 1: But the girls are always with a family member, be

1377
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 1: their dad or their grandma. Yes, okay, so I don't

1378
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:15,440
Speaker 1: have a nanny. I actually don't even have a babysitter

1379
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:18,640
Speaker 1: at all, like a consistent babysitter. No, not even a

1380
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:20,840
Speaker 1: once in a while babysitter. I literally do not have

1381
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: one at all. So the only people that watch my

1382
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:26,560
Speaker 1: kids are either me, their dad, or my mom. And

1383
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:29,560
Speaker 1: my parents just moved back. My parents were living in St.

1384
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 1: Louis for a while, so I didn't have them back then,

1385
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,800
Speaker 1: so it's kind of a newer thing for me, and

1386
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 1: it's nice to have their help. So every Tuesday and

1387
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:39,400
Speaker 1: my mom will pick the girls up from school and

1388
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,320
Speaker 1: take them to dance, and then I'll pick them up

1389
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:43,480
Speaker 1: later from dance. So it gives me Tuesday to get

1390
01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 1: work done and stuff like that. Um. But besides that,

1391
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 1: I mean kids goes to school. I drive him to school,

1392
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:50,720
Speaker 1: pick them up every day. Um. If I go on

1393
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:54,800
Speaker 1: a trip, it's usually during their dad's weekend. Actually of

1394
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:59,160
Speaker 1: the time it's during their dad's weekend. Um, because I

1395
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 1: don't know, it's kind of a lot for my parents

1396
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 1: to watch both kids, especially overnight, so it's not something

1397
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:07,320
Speaker 1: that I do often. UM. So anytime, like when I

1398
01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 1: was at Stagecoach there with their dad that weekend, um,

1399
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:12,880
Speaker 1: I was just in New York with my sister. It

1400
01:07:12,920 --> 01:07:14,840
Speaker 1: was their dad's weekend. So people will judge me for it,

1401
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 1: but I'm like, whether I was home or whether I'm

1402
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 1: in New York with my sister, I'm not going to

1403
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 1: be with my kids either way. So it is what

1404
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:25,240
Speaker 1: it is. And it's not like, obviously I wish I

1405
01:07:25,240 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 1: could be with my kids all the time, but it's

1406
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 1: just it's our life and that's just always how it's been.

1407
01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:33,440
Speaker 1: Ever since the girls were born, I've split custody with

1408
01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 1: their dad. So it's just how how it is. How

1409
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:41,120
Speaker 1: how's your relationship with their dad. It's had its ups

1410
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 1: and downs, like throughout the years. So when we first

1411
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:48,680
Speaker 1: split up, obviously it was not very good and um,

1412
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,080
Speaker 1: but like over the years, we've had our ups and downs,

1413
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,120
Speaker 1: but it's good right now. It's good. It's been good

1414
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:57,280
Speaker 1: for a while. I feel like we are also very

1415
01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 1: different people, I think, so I never post anything about

1416
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,800
Speaker 1: their dad, But the other day I've been getting a

1417
01:08:01,840 --> 01:08:03,880
Speaker 1: lot of crap lately because they've been traveling and people

1418
01:08:03,880 --> 01:08:05,520
Speaker 1: are like, we're you're your kids, and like you guys,

1419
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 1: they have a dad. It's funny. Someone actually commented there,

1420
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 1: like the dad passed away. I'm like, no, he's I'm like,

1421
01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, he's very much alive. He's here. Um, So

1422
01:08:14,160 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 1: I posted something the other day of like me dropping

1423
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:19,920
Speaker 1: Charlie off at his house, and all these people were like, oh,

1424
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,479
Speaker 1: like that's their dad, blah bla, because they've I don't

1425
01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:25,000
Speaker 1: think I've ever posted anything of him. But um, we

1426
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:27,120
Speaker 1: would never get back together or anything like that. But

1427
01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:31,200
Speaker 1: we have a fine relationship. We're not close, but we're

1428
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:35,679
Speaker 1: like said breakups aren't easy. It's cordial. Yeah, No, we're cordial.

1429
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:37,640
Speaker 1: I mean we we even like talk sometimes about like

1430
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 1: random things that he can tell me about a girl

1431
01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 1: he's dating or I can tell him about. It's it's

1432
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 1: not weird. We don't get there's not that like ex

1433
01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:48,799
Speaker 1: like jealousy thing between. It's like the only time wherever

1434
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,760
Speaker 1: on bad terms is like sometimes things will come up

1435
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 1: with the kids, but I feel like that happens even

1436
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,880
Speaker 1: when you're married, Like you have arguments over like the kids,

1437
01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:57,720
Speaker 1: you know. So it's nothing. We have a we have

1438
01:08:57,760 --> 01:08:59,519
Speaker 1: a pretty good relationship. How old were you when you

1439
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 1: got married? It was twenty one two. I was twenty

1440
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 1: one when I got pregnant, but I just turned twenty

1441
01:09:09,520 --> 01:09:11,639
Speaker 1: two when I had her, so it was really young. Yeah.

1442
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:15,240
Speaker 1: And my last question is you mentioned earlier that when

1443
01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 1: before char came along that it was just you and kids,

1444
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: and you were like and you kind of had her

1445
01:09:21,240 --> 01:09:23,320
Speaker 1: full time? Then did you did you have her full time?

1446
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,559
Speaker 1: It was so it was once Charlie was born that

1447
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:29,880
Speaker 1: it was what custody. Yeah, so I had them full

1448
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:35,439
Speaker 1: time until Charlie was like six months old. Yeah, and

1449
01:09:35,479 --> 01:09:38,519
Speaker 1: then we started putting it up. Yeah, you know, it's

1450
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:41,640
Speaker 1: it is interesting, and I think again it's nice to

1451
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,920
Speaker 1: be able to talk about it because the public does

1452
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:46,720
Speaker 1: watch your social media and they say you're gone all

1453
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:49,720
Speaker 1: the time, and where are the kids, And it's nice

1454
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,840
Speaker 1: to be able to say, I hope, like, well there,

1455
01:09:52,320 --> 01:09:53,880
Speaker 1: no matter what, I'm not going to be with them.

1456
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:55,880
Speaker 1: Like if I'm back in, I'm gonna you're gonna sit

1457
01:09:55,920 --> 01:09:57,840
Speaker 1: alone at home where I'm gonna to go go out

1458
01:09:57,880 --> 01:09:59,760
Speaker 1: and live a life and do my thing. And I

1459
01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:02,360
Speaker 1: had joy traveling. I enjoy doing things, so it's like

1460
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:04,680
Speaker 1: it's nice for me to have that time that like

1461
01:10:05,360 --> 01:10:07,040
Speaker 1: I'm not going to have with them anyways, you know

1462
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:09,880
Speaker 1: what I mean. Who takes care of them primarily when

1463
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 1: you are doing paradise, is it a split between your

1464
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:15,280
Speaker 1: mom and dad? So when I was in Paradise, my

1465
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 1: mom watched him fully and let me unless it was

1466
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:19,680
Speaker 1: like next time to have him, then he would take him.

1467
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:21,160
Speaker 1: But it was like the same schedule that we have

1468
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:26,839
Speaker 1: when I'm home, but my mom was taking care of him. Yeah. UM, Amanda,

1469
01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:30,519
Speaker 1: we have a little bit more to talk about, UM,

1470
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:33,599
Speaker 1: A lot less to talk about with your relationships. UM,

1471
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:36,840
Speaker 1: but you have one more relationships. Yeah, but we do

1472
01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:40,519
Speaker 1: want to want to close this session out, UM with

1473
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:45,760
Speaker 1: the cheers to you. Thanks, cheers, Amanda, thanks for coming in. UM.

1474
01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 1: We have two more seconds left. We're going to dive

1475
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:51,160
Speaker 1: into who Amanda is, who is she becoming, and what

1476
01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:52,920
Speaker 1: has she learned. But first we had to fill up

1477
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:54,880
Speaker 1: our wine glasses, so we're gonna take a break again.

1478
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:02,160
Speaker 1: So let's get serious for a minute. Okay, UM, I

1479
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:04,120
Speaker 1: know that you have zero desired to name names and

1480
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,439
Speaker 1: it's not important here, but you have mentioned publicly that

1481
01:11:07,439 --> 01:11:11,160
Speaker 1: you've been in abusive relationships. UM. Anytime we talked about

1482
01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:14,200
Speaker 1: these topics on the podcast, we have a lot of listeners, UM,

1483
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:18,040
Speaker 1: predominantly female listeners. U. I said female once in the

1484
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:20,479
Speaker 1: podcast I got, I didn't realize females no longer a

1485
01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 1: word to use. It's it's the women I got. I

1486
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:24,519
Speaker 1: don't know women. It has to be women now, which

1487
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:26,439
Speaker 1: is great. I'll say women. I'm getting better at it.

1488
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:28,439
Speaker 1: I'm working on it. Uh. We have a lot of

1489
01:11:28,439 --> 01:11:35,160
Speaker 1: women listeners, and um, they always respond in a very

1490
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:38,439
Speaker 1: vulnerable way when stuff like this has talked about. Since

1491
01:11:38,439 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 1: you have publicly started stated this before, I want to

1492
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,639
Speaker 1: ask you a few questions following this. One is why

1493
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 1: do you think you're attracted to those types of guys?

1494
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:50,320
Speaker 1: I think, to be honest, I think I hate to

1495
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:52,360
Speaker 1: say it like this, I do think like it's just

1496
01:11:52,439 --> 01:11:54,240
Speaker 1: kind of my personality. I also think those kind of

1497
01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:56,759
Speaker 1: guys are attracted to me, and I think it's because

1498
01:11:57,640 --> 01:12:01,760
Speaker 1: I'm very nice and very forgiving. Um, I kind of

1499
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 1: see the good in people. So I kind of think

1500
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:07,000
Speaker 1: I'm an easy, easier target for somebody like that like

1501
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:10,120
Speaker 1: to be manipulated by. But the crazy thing is about

1502
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:13,280
Speaker 1: like when you're with someone that you would consider abusive,

1503
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,760
Speaker 1: as a lot of times they don't think they're abusive,

1504
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:18,040
Speaker 1: and so I think that's the hard part is it

1505
01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:21,000
Speaker 1: makes you feel like, well, was it really in an

1506
01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,639
Speaker 1: abusive relationship? Or am I just being dramatic by saying

1507
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:27,280
Speaker 1: that because I think they don't believe that they're being abusive,

1508
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:30,760
Speaker 1: And I think there's so many different forms of emotional

1509
01:12:31,240 --> 01:12:35,560
Speaker 1: physical abuse that like, if you feel like you're in

1510
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:37,840
Speaker 1: an abusive relationship, you probably are. You don't really need

1511
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:43,320
Speaker 1: you know, proof for that. So yeah, I want to know.

1512
01:12:44,479 --> 01:12:48,080
Speaker 1: I want to understand a little bit here when we oftentimes,

1513
01:12:48,120 --> 01:12:50,599
Speaker 1: as we said on multiple occasions, we see the negative

1514
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:53,559
Speaker 1: and relationships when it's over and you look back on it,

1515
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:56,200
Speaker 1: Is that the same thing when it comes to abusive

1516
01:12:56,200 --> 01:13:00,599
Speaker 1: relationships or as somebody that is the victim, are you

1517
01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:02,320
Speaker 1: knowing at the time and it's just hard to get

1518
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: out or are you looking back and saying I was

1519
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:08,680
Speaker 1: a victim of abuse? I think you can see it

1520
01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:11,080
Speaker 1: when you're in it, like you know, but then I

1521
01:13:11,120 --> 01:13:14,040
Speaker 1: think that, I mean, it's different for everybody, but I

1522
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:17,320
Speaker 1: think when you're in an abusive relationship and you see

1523
01:13:17,360 --> 01:13:19,559
Speaker 1: those things when you're in it, a lot of times

1524
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,240
Speaker 1: they have a way of making you feel like you're

1525
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:24,360
Speaker 1: crazy or that it's you, or that it's not that way,

1526
01:13:24,439 --> 01:13:26,760
Speaker 1: or you're being dramatic. So I feel like you do

1527
01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:28,920
Speaker 1: see those things, but it really takes until after to

1528
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:32,080
Speaker 1: look back and be like and really see things more clearly.

1529
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:34,760
Speaker 1: That makes sense. What are some of the lessons than

1530
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,320
Speaker 1: for anybody out there? Because I'm telling you a man,

1531
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:39,559
Speaker 1: it we get some emails that are hurt. I feel

1532
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:42,479
Speaker 1: like it's so common, like whether it's why why is

1533
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:45,360
Speaker 1: it so common? Because I just like I said before,

1534
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:48,600
Speaker 1: I think there's really no way to define an abusive relationship.

1535
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:50,720
Speaker 1: Like there's so many different ways that a relationship can

1536
01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:54,840
Speaker 1: be abusive, like especially emotionally, um, if somebody is like

1537
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:59,599
Speaker 1: manipulative or controlling, or there's just so many different ways

1538
01:13:59,600 --> 01:14:03,240
Speaker 1: that it can really affect somebody's mental health and that's

1539
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:05,439
Speaker 1: considered abusive. But like I said before, I think a

1540
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 1: lot of people that are abusive don't actually think that

1541
01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:10,400
Speaker 1: they are even though they are. So I think that's

1542
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:16,640
Speaker 1: why there's so many people that are in relationships like that. Um.

1543
01:14:16,760 --> 01:14:18,920
Speaker 1: But what the question was, how do you like What

1544
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:21,880
Speaker 1: would be my advice to somebody? UM, I would just say,

1545
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:24,559
Speaker 1: like trust your gut and don't doubt yourself, Like if

1546
01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:28,680
Speaker 1: you feel like that's the case too, trust yourself and

1547
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:30,880
Speaker 1: just get out of it. Um. So I think that's

1548
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:32,840
Speaker 1: the hardest part about getting out of a relationship like

1549
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:35,320
Speaker 1: that is a lot of times you're being manipulated and

1550
01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:37,599
Speaker 1: you start doubting yourself or you think you're the crazy one,

1551
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:40,600
Speaker 1: or you're the problem. And that's why you stay in

1552
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:42,920
Speaker 1: it longer than you should, because you start to believe

1553
01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:45,240
Speaker 1: that you're the problem. So I think you just got

1554
01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:48,120
Speaker 1: to trust your gut. It's it's I mean, I always

1555
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:51,280
Speaker 1: found it. I was shocked, and you know, I've heard

1556
01:14:51,280 --> 01:14:53,160
Speaker 1: your stories and I've seen your relationships, and I've been

1557
01:14:53,160 --> 01:14:54,840
Speaker 1: a fan of you, and I've dated you and got

1558
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:57,639
Speaker 1: to know you a little bit. And then the headlines

1559
01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:00,679
Speaker 1: came out in Vegas and all of these things started

1560
01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:04,080
Speaker 1: swirling around and it and it felt like in my

1561
01:15:04,120 --> 01:15:06,320
Speaker 1: eyes at least as somebody that probably knows you, and

1562
01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:07,840
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a little bit taint because I

1563
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:09,719
Speaker 1: know you a little bit more than maybe the public.

1564
01:15:10,040 --> 01:15:14,839
Speaker 1: I felt like a paradigm shift where you now became

1565
01:15:15,160 --> 01:15:17,680
Speaker 1: the person that people are like, WHOA, She's claimed this,

1566
01:15:19,240 --> 01:15:22,720
Speaker 1: but now it's switched. Two questions are because I want

1567
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:24,280
Speaker 1: you just kind of the freedom to explain it. I

1568
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:27,920
Speaker 1: don't want to. One is how did you handle that?

1569
01:15:28,200 --> 01:15:32,200
Speaker 1: How did that make you feel? And what what did

1570
01:15:32,479 --> 01:15:36,280
Speaker 1: what do you do? Now? Yeah, so obviously that whole

1571
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:43,360
Speaker 1: situation was like just a complete nightmare. Um. There, you know,

1572
01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:46,719
Speaker 1: there's like a truth to the situation that I can't

1573
01:15:47,320 --> 01:15:51,120
Speaker 1: really explain or I can't really talk about. Um. But

1574
01:15:51,200 --> 01:15:54,200
Speaker 1: for the most part, I mean, I think anyone that

1575
01:15:54,280 --> 01:15:57,800
Speaker 1: knows me knows that that is not who I am.

1576
01:15:57,920 --> 01:16:00,639
Speaker 1: That's not also the kind of really and the Bobby

1577
01:16:00,680 --> 01:16:02,479
Speaker 1: and I had, I mean we broke up now and

1578
01:16:02,880 --> 01:16:05,680
Speaker 1: our relationship wasn't perfect, but that was never something that

1579
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:09,760
Speaker 1: was an issue. Um. And yeah, I mean everybody was

1580
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:12,000
Speaker 1: just like everyone that knows me was like, that doesn't

1581
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:14,880
Speaker 1: really make any sense, and even you know, it didn't.

1582
01:16:15,040 --> 01:16:18,879
Speaker 1: And I think it's easy to look at a situation

1583
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:21,400
Speaker 1: like that and see it in the media and assume

1584
01:16:21,560 --> 01:16:24,040
Speaker 1: things or jump to conclusions or think. I think a

1585
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:26,200
Speaker 1: big thing is people see somebody or think they know

1586
01:16:26,280 --> 01:16:28,680
Speaker 1: someone and they see something like that and they're like, oh,

1587
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:31,200
Speaker 1: this is who you really are, and that's not the case.

1588
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:32,720
Speaker 1: And I think everyone that knows me knows that that's

1589
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:34,920
Speaker 1: not the case at all. Um, I really have nothing

1590
01:16:34,920 --> 01:16:37,320
Speaker 1: to hide. I've always been pretty open and honest with

1591
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:41,320
Speaker 1: everything going on with me. Um, So I guess it

1592
01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:45,920
Speaker 1: was just frustrating having a situation like that that was

1593
01:16:46,280 --> 01:16:48,880
Speaker 1: very misconstrued, be so public and then having people like

1594
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:52,760
Speaker 1: jump to these conclusions about me that weren't necessarily true.

1595
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:56,320
Speaker 1: So we were talking about how there are certain stories

1596
01:16:56,360 --> 01:16:59,479
Speaker 1: out there that the full story isn't out there, and

1597
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,760
Speaker 1: you need to choose between whether or not you want

1598
01:17:01,800 --> 01:17:04,680
Speaker 1: to reveal it or just let it go wet, and

1599
01:17:04,720 --> 01:17:07,920
Speaker 1: it was It's so hard because I had moments where

1600
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:10,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, should I just put it out there? But

1601
01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:13,760
Speaker 1: you there's just times where you can't win because either

1602
01:17:13,840 --> 01:17:15,800
Speaker 1: you can put your story out there and people are

1603
01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:20,840
Speaker 1: going to be like you're making an excuse or you're lying,

1604
01:17:21,280 --> 01:17:25,880
Speaker 1: or I I think something else really happened, or you're

1605
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:29,720
Speaker 1: like throwing somebody else under the bus, and it just

1606
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:32,320
Speaker 1: wasn't worth it. So my approach to it was just

1607
01:17:32,360 --> 01:17:34,240
Speaker 1: to kind of like let it be and move on

1608
01:17:34,280 --> 01:17:36,280
Speaker 1: from it. And it was really hard. That was probably

1609
01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:38,120
Speaker 1: the hardest thing not to talk about, just because it

1610
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:41,519
Speaker 1: was like affecting my life so much. Um. But yeah,

1611
01:17:41,520 --> 01:17:43,200
Speaker 1: it's exactly one of those situations like when you break

1612
01:17:43,240 --> 01:17:44,680
Speaker 1: up with someone, you're like, I want everyone to know

1613
01:17:44,720 --> 01:17:46,320
Speaker 1: the truth. It was like the same thing. I'm like,

1614
01:17:46,320 --> 01:17:49,800
Speaker 1: I wish everyone could just know. But there's just certain

1615
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:52,080
Speaker 1: things and I think I'm pretty open and honest about

1616
01:17:52,120 --> 01:17:55,400
Speaker 1: a lot of things with like my followers, Like I said,

1617
01:17:55,439 --> 01:17:57,160
Speaker 1: I have nothing to hide, But that was just one

1618
01:17:57,200 --> 01:17:58,400
Speaker 1: of those things where I just kind of had to

1619
01:17:58,479 --> 01:18:02,360
Speaker 1: like do what was best, and I think, you know,

1620
01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:06,479
Speaker 1: what was best was just kind of leaving it. I don't.

1621
01:18:06,560 --> 01:18:10,760
Speaker 1: I don't know how to communicate this really well, so

1622
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:12,439
Speaker 1: just deal with me, and if you don't get it,

1623
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:15,080
Speaker 1: we'll just ask me a couple of questions. But it

1624
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:19,760
Speaker 1: feels like in life, you can do a lot of

1625
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:23,240
Speaker 1: really great things and we're all going to make a

1626
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:26,280
Speaker 1: lot of really bad mistakes. That's just life. We're gonna

1627
01:18:26,320 --> 01:18:28,400
Speaker 1: fail and we're gonna succeed, and we're gonna fail and

1628
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,120
Speaker 1: we're gonna succeed. We're gonna keep failing and hopefully we

1629
01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:34,000
Speaker 1: succeed or do things good more than we do bad.

1630
01:18:34,760 --> 01:18:38,040
Speaker 1: But it feels like I don't I mean, I didn't

1631
01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:40,360
Speaker 1: live two years ago, so I can't compare. But it

1632
01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:45,880
Speaker 1: feels like right now, people are waiting to jump in

1633
01:18:45,960 --> 01:18:50,720
Speaker 1: celebration on people who fail or fall, and I think

1634
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:54,680
Speaker 1: that's a dangerous perspective for one reason. And then I

1635
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,479
Speaker 1: have a question that follows us up and this is

1636
01:18:56,520 --> 01:18:59,240
Speaker 1: my my point, Because we're all going to fail and

1637
01:18:59,280 --> 01:19:02,839
Speaker 1: we're all going to fall, and if that is just life,

1638
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:06,160
Speaker 1: then how often are we going to be celebrating other

1639
01:19:06,280 --> 01:19:10,719
Speaker 1: people's dark times, the times that they're in the valley

1640
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:15,200
Speaker 1: and instead and you know, as as a believer and

1641
01:19:15,200 --> 01:19:18,439
Speaker 1: in Jesus, you know, and instead of lifting people up

1642
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:21,760
Speaker 1: when they're down and meeting people when they're where they're at,

1643
01:19:22,680 --> 01:19:24,479
Speaker 1: it feels like we're trying to push everybody to a

1644
01:19:24,960 --> 01:19:28,280
Speaker 1: balanced level, which is ultimately where we're at our weakest.

1645
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,559
Speaker 1: I want to know then, for you, if that's what

1646
01:19:32,680 --> 01:19:38,320
Speaker 1: it felt like, how do you handle being in that

1647
01:19:38,360 --> 01:19:41,200
Speaker 1: season of life where it feels like the masses are

1648
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:44,840
Speaker 1: jumping on top of you and celebration or just support

1649
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:51,040
Speaker 1: of something that's hard? Yeah, I mean, I think this

1650
01:19:51,280 --> 01:19:55,519
Speaker 1: just it's one of those situations that I think when

1651
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:57,519
Speaker 1: you follow someone on social media, you watch them on

1652
01:19:57,600 --> 01:19:59,800
Speaker 1: reality TV, you're just seeing a certain part of their life.

1653
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:03,519
Speaker 1: For I mean, everybody's life on Instagram looks perfect, and

1654
01:20:03,520 --> 01:20:05,840
Speaker 1: I think that's why people are so quick to jump

1655
01:20:05,960 --> 01:20:08,360
Speaker 1: on somebody when they fail, because it's like, oh, like

1656
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:11,240
Speaker 1: I caught them at a moment where like it wasn't

1657
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:14,479
Speaker 1: perfect or I think that's kind of what it's like.

1658
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:17,519
Speaker 1: You know, everyone's life looks amazing on Instagram. Everyone's showing

1659
01:20:17,520 --> 01:20:19,400
Speaker 1: their highlight reel, and so I think that's why people

1660
01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:23,200
Speaker 1: are just so quick to, like you said, celebrate when

1661
01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:26,360
Speaker 1: somebody is down. Um. And that's definitely what it felt like.

1662
01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:28,040
Speaker 1: And it was frustrating, it was hard. It was honestly

1663
01:20:28,080 --> 01:20:33,120
Speaker 1: probably one of the hardest things that I've dealt with ever. Um.

1664
01:20:33,160 --> 01:20:34,880
Speaker 1: But like I said, I mean, I like, I know

1665
01:20:34,920 --> 01:20:38,720
Speaker 1: who I am. Everyone close to me knows who I am. UM,

1666
01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:41,280
Speaker 1: And I got through it and I learned a lot

1667
01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:44,559
Speaker 1: from that whole experience. Um. But I think learning how

1668
01:20:44,560 --> 01:20:47,880
Speaker 1: to handle that situation was like one of the hardest

1669
01:20:47,880 --> 01:20:50,200
Speaker 1: things that I've ever dealt with because you just can't win,

1670
01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:52,400
Speaker 1: you know, and you at the end of the day,

1671
01:20:52,439 --> 01:20:54,519
Speaker 1: you have to just worry about yourself and take care

1672
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:57,920
Speaker 1: of yourself. And we all care what other people think,

1673
01:20:58,040 --> 01:21:00,759
Speaker 1: you know, we try not to but we do, especially

1674
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,880
Speaker 1: when you're being attacked and on social media and news

1675
01:21:03,960 --> 01:21:06,479
Speaker 1: articles or whatever it is. Um. But I think I

1676
01:21:06,520 --> 01:21:10,200
Speaker 1: really just tried to focus on myself and you know

1677
01:21:10,840 --> 01:21:12,479
Speaker 1: how I was feeling and the people close to me

1678
01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:15,240
Speaker 1: were feeling. So it was also hard for my family, UM,

1679
01:21:15,320 --> 01:21:18,360
Speaker 1: and I tried not to focus on everyone else so much,

1680
01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:20,840
Speaker 1: and I think that really helped. How long did it

1681
01:21:20,880 --> 01:21:23,920
Speaker 1: take you to feel like life was normal again? And

1682
01:21:24,320 --> 01:21:27,320
Speaker 1: how much stronger do you think you are for going

1683
01:21:27,400 --> 01:21:32,320
Speaker 1: through that media appearance crisis? Yeah. I mean, like I said,

1684
01:21:32,560 --> 01:21:34,080
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that I can't say, but

1685
01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:36,200
Speaker 1: it's not like that's a kind of a situation that

1686
01:21:36,360 --> 01:21:39,280
Speaker 1: I'll ever go through again. Like it was one time thing.

1687
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:43,320
Speaker 1: It was crazy, Um, I would say life was very

1688
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:47,639
Speaker 1: different for seen in September. I would say probably till

1689
01:21:47,680 --> 01:21:50,200
Speaker 1: like around the New year. I mean, things were pretty

1690
01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:54,720
Speaker 1: different for like a few months. It was hard, um,

1691
01:21:54,800 --> 01:21:56,479
Speaker 1: But after that, yeah, Like, I mean, I think it

1692
01:21:56,479 --> 01:22:00,400
Speaker 1: definitely made me stronger. It made me kind of like

1693
01:22:00,439 --> 01:22:02,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's so weird, but every time I

1694
01:22:02,160 --> 01:22:03,840
Speaker 1: go through something hard, it just like makes you in

1695
01:22:03,840 --> 01:22:06,600
Speaker 1: a way more confident because you've realized, like oh, I

1696
01:22:06,680 --> 01:22:09,559
Speaker 1: can get through this, like their situations where you think

1697
01:22:09,560 --> 01:22:11,800
Speaker 1: would like crush you and you're like, oh, I'm still fine.

1698
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:14,280
Speaker 1: So it kind of gave me like this confidence and

1699
01:22:15,160 --> 01:22:18,439
Speaker 1: I learned a lot about myself and um, yeah, I

1700
01:22:18,439 --> 01:22:21,040
Speaker 1: mean I feel I feel good about it now. But

1701
01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:24,880
Speaker 1: obviously it was not an ideal situation. So yeah, you've

1702
01:22:24,920 --> 01:22:27,040
Speaker 1: had Speaking of ideal situations, you've had a couple of

1703
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:30,839
Speaker 1: things come up. Um, and one is this the hacker

1704
01:22:30,920 --> 01:22:35,000
Speaker 1: situation that you've made very public and um, for those

1705
01:22:35,080 --> 01:22:37,360
Speaker 1: who have no clue what this is, can you take

1706
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:39,360
Speaker 1: a second before we ask a follow up questions on it?

1707
01:22:39,680 --> 01:22:44,479
Speaker 1: What exactly is going on here? So back last yeah,

1708
01:22:44,720 --> 01:22:47,160
Speaker 1: this the like the last year. Someone actually told me.

1709
01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:50,080
Speaker 1: I never believed in like mercury is in retrograde until

1710
01:22:50,280 --> 01:22:52,800
Speaker 1: this past year. I was like, wow, this is a

1711
01:22:52,840 --> 01:22:57,280
Speaker 1: real thing. Um. So I was pretty open about it.

1712
01:22:57,320 --> 01:23:01,720
Speaker 1: But I got like a breast augmentation back in February

1713
01:23:02,439 --> 01:23:05,880
Speaker 1: and I went in from my surgery all of that.

1714
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:08,720
Speaker 1: It's been a while since then, and randomly one night

1715
01:23:09,160 --> 01:23:12,040
Speaker 1: it was beginning or middle of March, I think, and

1716
01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:14,360
Speaker 1: I was sleeping and I don't know why, it was

1717
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:16,160
Speaker 1: like you're weird feeling in New York, Like, I just

1718
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:18,000
Speaker 1: had this feeling of anxiety, Like woke up in the

1719
01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:20,280
Speaker 1: middle of the night and I was like sweating, and

1720
01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:22,320
Speaker 1: I was like, I just had anxiety for some reason.

1721
01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:24,519
Speaker 1: So I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just grabbed

1722
01:23:24,520 --> 01:23:26,439
Speaker 1: my phone. I opened up my email, and I have

1723
01:23:26,560 --> 01:23:29,280
Speaker 1: emails from this person and the name was the name

1724
01:23:29,280 --> 01:23:32,320
Speaker 1: of my doctor, but it wasn't his email address, and

1725
01:23:33,640 --> 01:23:35,800
Speaker 1: it was basically an email saying that this guy had

1726
01:23:35,920 --> 01:23:38,519
Speaker 1: hacked into my doctor's database. He stole these photos of me,

1727
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:40,519
Speaker 1: and he was trying to get money. He's like, if

1728
01:23:40,520 --> 01:23:41,920
Speaker 1: I don't get this money, I'm going to send it,

1729
01:23:42,280 --> 01:23:44,439
Speaker 1: and then I send your photos, and he attached all

1730
01:23:44,439 --> 01:23:48,320
Speaker 1: the photos to the email of me from the doctor's office. Yeah,

1731
01:23:48,439 --> 01:23:50,439
Speaker 1: because I know that there's like a scam going right

1732
01:23:50,439 --> 01:23:52,280
Speaker 1: now where people will say, oh, I have these photos,

1733
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:55,160
Speaker 1: but they don't actually have them, so and I thought

1734
01:23:55,200 --> 01:23:56,600
Speaker 1: at first, I was like, this is a scamp, but

1735
01:23:56,640 --> 01:23:58,960
Speaker 1: then he actually had all the photos attached down there,

1736
01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:02,160
Speaker 1: and so I thought it was like just like a

1737
01:24:02,200 --> 01:24:06,040
Speaker 1: bad dream or like a nightmare. And um the next

1738
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:08,680
Speaker 1: day ended up calling my doctor. All these people they

1739
01:24:08,960 --> 01:24:12,200
Speaker 1: had a bunch of people, the police, FBI where they're

1740
01:24:14,560 --> 01:24:16,920
Speaker 1: So I guess he hacked into my doctor's database. So

1741
01:24:16,960 --> 01:24:20,160
Speaker 1: we got photos of a lot of his patients. But

1742
01:24:20,240 --> 01:24:22,720
Speaker 1: I think he just saw me on his website and

1743
01:24:22,720 --> 01:24:24,920
Speaker 1: saw that I had somewhat of a following, so he

1744
01:24:25,040 --> 01:24:26,760
Speaker 1: decided to target me because I thought it would be

1745
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:32,720
Speaker 1: more effective doctors. UM. So yeah, Basically he was like,

1746
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:34,479
Speaker 1: you have three days to either like get me the

1747
01:24:34,520 --> 01:24:36,400
Speaker 1: money or I'm going to start sending your photos out.

1748
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:39,840
Speaker 1: So and then there was also no proof like say

1749
01:24:39,920 --> 01:24:41,920
Speaker 1: we give this guy the money, Like, how do we

1750
01:24:41,960 --> 01:24:43,679
Speaker 1: know he's even going to delete the photos. We'll probably

1751
01:24:43,680 --> 01:24:45,959
Speaker 1: just keep asking for more. So it was just pointless.

1752
01:24:46,000 --> 01:24:49,760
Speaker 1: And started setting the photos to everybody that I followed.

1753
01:24:50,080 --> 01:24:52,320
Speaker 1: UM sent him to people that I have worked with,

1754
01:24:52,520 --> 01:24:54,960
Speaker 1: sent him to like my friend's boyfriends. He was sending

1755
01:24:55,600 --> 01:24:57,360
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, he sent him out to like a

1756
01:24:57,400 --> 01:24:59,479
Speaker 1: ton of people. So at first he's like, I'm going

1757
01:24:59,520 --> 01:25:01,479
Speaker 1: to start the or stay by sending him to five people.

1758
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:02,840
Speaker 1: Then the next day, IM gonna sent him to ten.

1759
01:25:02,880 --> 01:25:05,000
Speaker 1: Next I'm gonna sent him to twenties. So after two weeks,

1760
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:06,719
Speaker 1: all these people started getting it, and the more people

1761
01:25:06,720 --> 01:25:09,040
Speaker 1: he was sending him to, the more people I had

1762
01:25:09,080 --> 01:25:11,840
Speaker 1: texting me every day like hey I just got this

1763
01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:14,920
Speaker 1: weird message from someone. I just want to let you know,

1764
01:25:15,080 --> 01:25:17,599
Speaker 1: or people were calling me. So eventually it just got

1765
01:25:17,640 --> 01:25:19,599
Speaker 1: so exhausting telling the story that I was like, I'm

1766
01:25:19,600 --> 01:25:21,639
Speaker 1: just going to address it publicly. That way, this guy

1767
01:25:21,960 --> 01:25:25,439
Speaker 1: hopefully sees that like he doesn't have this power over

1768
01:25:25,439 --> 01:25:29,200
Speaker 1: me and stops and actually kind of actually worked. So job. Yeah,

1769
01:25:29,280 --> 01:25:31,840
Speaker 1: I was glad I addressed it, but it was hard,

1770
01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:35,439
Speaker 1: and the pictures haven't ever leaked, no, because luckily everyone

1771
01:25:35,479 --> 01:25:37,120
Speaker 1: that he sent them to are people that I follow,

1772
01:25:37,360 --> 01:25:42,960
Speaker 1: and I mean everyone's been respect called out. The bully.

1773
01:25:43,200 --> 01:25:47,479
Speaker 1: He didn't make his move. He never like posted them online.

1774
01:25:47,520 --> 01:25:50,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know like where he would post them,

1775
01:25:50,120 --> 01:25:52,800
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. They're medical photos, Like it

1776
01:25:52,880 --> 01:25:55,680
Speaker 1: wasn't like, yeah, they're not trust me, They're very far

1777
01:25:55,720 --> 01:25:58,600
Speaker 1: from sexy. I'm like, this isn't It's not like I

1778
01:25:58,640 --> 01:26:00,439
Speaker 1: did anything wrong. So that's why I was over all

1779
01:26:00,479 --> 01:26:01,880
Speaker 1: the threats every single day because I was like, I

1780
01:26:01,960 --> 01:26:05,000
Speaker 1: can't come out, like what's the like if it's embarrassing

1781
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,680
Speaker 1: for me or it sucks or it's violating, but it

1782
01:26:07,720 --> 01:26:10,280
Speaker 1: was like, I didn't do anything wrong. So yeah, you

1783
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:14,080
Speaker 1: got some flack for doing that. Inst the story in

1784
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:17,559
Speaker 1: which you revealed the hacker with the dog filter on, Yeah,

1785
01:26:17,680 --> 01:26:21,800
Speaker 1: why do you think much? I was like shocked. I

1786
01:26:21,840 --> 01:26:24,680
Speaker 1: was like you, guys, honestly, I was crying. I was

1787
01:26:24,760 --> 01:26:26,920
Speaker 1: not expecting to cry that much. And it's funny because

1788
01:26:26,920 --> 01:26:30,840
Speaker 1: I actually started filming it without it, but I I

1789
01:26:30,960 --> 01:26:32,800
Speaker 1: wasn't cover my face right now because I want to know.

1790
01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:36,320
Speaker 1: I'm saying something very excited made me feel, made me

1791
01:26:36,360 --> 01:26:40,640
Speaker 1: feel better, and yeah, I just think it made me

1792
01:26:40,680 --> 01:26:42,960
Speaker 1: look cuter when I was ugly crying. So that's when

1793
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:46,320
Speaker 1: I went with the job filter. For you've been through this,

1794
01:26:46,439 --> 01:26:50,400
Speaker 1: and man, this is a scary situation, and I hope

1795
01:26:50,439 --> 01:26:52,840
Speaker 1: I mean really scary. But for anybody that happens to

1796
01:26:52,840 --> 01:26:55,320
Speaker 1: go through this, what would be your advice? What have

1797
01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:58,000
Speaker 1: you learned on the right steps to take if somebody

1798
01:26:58,040 --> 01:27:03,760
Speaker 1: were to do this to somebody listening? Um, I mean

1799
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,640
Speaker 1: I was so stressed for like a solid month over it,

1800
01:27:06,760 --> 01:27:10,000
Speaker 1: and I think the one thing that I learned from

1801
01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:12,920
Speaker 1: it is you can't stress every single day and have

1802
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:16,479
Speaker 1: anxiety about stuff that you can't control and unfortunately there

1803
01:27:16,479 --> 01:27:20,519
Speaker 1: are bad people out there, and UM, it's not an

1804
01:27:20,520 --> 01:27:24,000
Speaker 1: ideal situation, but I just think you need to not

1805
01:27:24,080 --> 01:27:26,400
Speaker 1: let somebody ever have that power over you. I think

1806
01:27:26,439 --> 01:27:29,120
Speaker 1: being blackmailed every single day was the hard part. So

1807
01:27:29,120 --> 01:27:30,600
Speaker 1: I'm really glad that I did what I did and

1808
01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:32,439
Speaker 1: I kind of took the power over it saying like

1809
01:27:33,040 --> 01:27:35,880
Speaker 1: this is what's going on. Um, I think that really helped.

1810
01:27:35,920 --> 01:27:37,559
Speaker 1: So I guess that would be my advice is just

1811
01:27:37,600 --> 01:27:39,080
Speaker 1: not to let someone have that power over you, no

1812
01:27:39,120 --> 01:27:41,280
Speaker 1: matter what the situation is. Never let someone hold something

1813
01:27:41,360 --> 01:27:43,680
Speaker 1: over your head because that's stressful and it's out of

1814
01:27:43,720 --> 01:27:50,240
Speaker 1: your control. So I think that really helped. So the

1815
01:27:50,280 --> 01:27:53,840
Speaker 1: whole like month that I was dealing with the hacker situation,

1816
01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:56,160
Speaker 1: I was really just freaked out because I had like

1817
01:27:56,200 --> 01:27:59,000
Speaker 1: the FBI at my house, the police, like I lived

1818
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:00,800
Speaker 1: with the kids. I didn't know what other information this

1819
01:28:00,840 --> 01:28:02,759
Speaker 1: person had. The he had my address, my phone number,

1820
01:28:02,840 --> 01:28:06,559
Speaker 1: you know, he had your address like that, and it

1821
01:28:06,600 --> 01:28:08,000
Speaker 1: was it was before we moved, so I was like,

1822
01:28:08,040 --> 01:28:09,559
Speaker 1: I don't think he has my new one. But it's

1823
01:28:09,560 --> 01:28:11,680
Speaker 1: still just freaked me out because I don't know, Like

1824
01:28:11,720 --> 01:28:13,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, did this person hack into my phone, like

1825
01:28:13,800 --> 01:28:15,240
Speaker 1: can you read my text? Like I didn't know what

1826
01:28:15,560 --> 01:28:18,200
Speaker 1: this person could do, you know. Um, So I was

1827
01:28:18,240 --> 01:28:21,759
Speaker 1: just really paranoid. And one night, my sister was sleeping

1828
01:28:21,760 --> 01:28:24,559
Speaker 1: over and she was using my cellphone charger and I

1829
01:28:24,600 --> 01:28:27,920
Speaker 1: was sleeping upstairs and my phone was dying, and I

1830
01:28:28,560 --> 01:28:30,799
Speaker 1: because of the situation going on with all the hacker

1831
01:28:30,800 --> 01:28:32,120
Speaker 1: and everything, I was like, I don't really want to

1832
01:28:32,120 --> 01:28:33,840
Speaker 1: sleep with my phone dead in case of an emergency,

1833
01:28:33,920 --> 01:28:35,840
Speaker 1: so like, I'm just going to run down to my

1834
01:28:35,880 --> 01:28:37,920
Speaker 1: car really quick and charge my phone. So I go

1835
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:40,720
Speaker 1: down to my car and it wouldn't charge my phone.

1836
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:42,839
Speaker 1: Let's turn my car on. So I opened my garage

1837
01:28:42,840 --> 01:28:44,400
Speaker 1: and I had this guy that was like sitting in

1838
01:28:44,439 --> 01:28:46,439
Speaker 1: a prius outside my house, and I don't know why.

1839
01:28:46,439 --> 01:28:47,760
Speaker 1: It freaked me out. I'm like, why is this guy?

1840
01:28:47,800 --> 01:28:49,439
Speaker 1: He was literally parked in my driveway, so I'm like,

1841
01:28:49,439 --> 01:28:51,680
Speaker 1: why is this person parked in my driveway? So I'm

1842
01:28:51,680 --> 01:28:54,639
Speaker 1: like staring at him. I turned my car on and

1843
01:28:54,720 --> 01:28:57,400
Speaker 1: he's just like staring at me. It was super ready

1844
01:28:57,479 --> 01:28:58,920
Speaker 1: just parked there. So then I pretended like I was

1845
01:28:58,960 --> 01:29:00,680
Speaker 1: going to back out the guy out of his car,

1846
01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:04,000
Speaker 1: So I'm like just being I was just super paranoid.

1847
01:29:04,000 --> 01:29:06,120
Speaker 1: It just is kind of funny. So this guy gets

1848
01:29:06,120 --> 01:29:07,519
Speaker 1: out of his car. He goes to grab something from

1849
01:29:07,520 --> 01:29:09,000
Speaker 1: the trunk, and like, oh my god, is this guy

1850
01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:11,600
Speaker 1: grabbing like a gun? Like what's happening is he's going

1851
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:14,599
Speaker 1: to break in her house. He grabs a banana out

1852
01:29:14,600 --> 01:29:17,160
Speaker 1: of his trunk and he starts eating a banana in

1853
01:29:17,200 --> 01:29:19,000
Speaker 1: his front seat. So I'm like, why is this guy

1854
01:29:19,040 --> 01:29:22,360
Speaker 1: eating a banana in front of my garage? So then

1855
01:29:22,400 --> 01:29:24,720
Speaker 1: he starts to pull away, and so I don't know

1856
01:29:24,760 --> 01:29:27,479
Speaker 1: what was wrong with me. I was just going through

1857
01:29:27,520 --> 01:29:31,080
Speaker 1: a lot guys. I decided to I decided to like

1858
01:29:31,240 --> 01:29:36,360
Speaker 1: chase this guy around my neighborhood at night, and so

1859
01:29:36,400 --> 01:29:38,679
Speaker 1: I was following him because he was like, just parked

1860
01:29:38,680 --> 01:29:41,160
Speaker 1: in front of my house. He wouldn't leave. Long story short,

1861
01:29:41,760 --> 01:29:43,720
Speaker 1: I was freaked out. He pulls back in front of

1862
01:29:43,720 --> 01:29:45,479
Speaker 1: my house again because I did a circle, he didn't

1863
01:29:45,479 --> 01:29:46,920
Speaker 1: see me. So I was following him. He's back in

1864
01:29:47,000 --> 01:29:50,719
Speaker 1: front of my house. So I parked the car, run inside.

1865
01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:53,480
Speaker 1: I go, wake up Bobby. I'm like, there is somebody

1866
01:29:53,880 --> 01:29:57,600
Speaker 1: stalking our house. As I'm telling him, someone knocks on

1867
01:29:57,640 --> 01:30:00,680
Speaker 1: our door. Our front door, and I was so freaked out.

1868
01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:03,800
Speaker 1: I called nine one one and the police came and

1869
01:30:03,840 --> 01:30:07,120
Speaker 1: everything and anyways, nothing happened. I feel really bad. I

1870
01:30:07,120 --> 01:30:08,760
Speaker 1: didn't know my neighbors, like down the street we're having

1871
01:30:08,760 --> 01:30:11,000
Speaker 1: a party. And he was like, I'm pretty sure that

1872
01:30:11,040 --> 01:30:12,479
Speaker 1: was just like a lift driver who was like waiting

1873
01:30:12,479 --> 01:30:14,800
Speaker 1: for someone, like he got hungry and like at a

1874
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:18,800
Speaker 1: banana but like it's so embarrassing. But I was just

1875
01:30:18,840 --> 01:30:24,479
Speaker 1: like so freaked out. Okay, I was like Bobby was

1876
01:30:24,479 --> 01:30:26,280
Speaker 1: scared too. It wasn't just me, like it sounds like

1877
01:30:26,320 --> 01:30:28,360
Speaker 1: a crazy person, but everybody someone knocked on our door,

1878
01:30:28,400 --> 01:30:30,120
Speaker 1: and then when we went down there, there was nobody there.

1879
01:30:30,520 --> 01:30:32,840
Speaker 1: How did Bobby deal with the whole hacker situation? Like

1880
01:30:32,880 --> 01:30:38,680
Speaker 1: emotionally with you? Emotionally honestly not very supportive. And I

1881
01:30:38,680 --> 01:30:40,519
Speaker 1: think that was really hard for me too, because I

1882
01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:44,679
Speaker 1: was really he he was just very black and white

1883
01:30:44,680 --> 01:30:46,760
Speaker 1: about it, like he was like, you need to follow

1884
01:30:46,760 --> 01:30:51,360
Speaker 1: a lawsuit against your doctor, and I get it, but

1885
01:30:51,439 --> 01:30:54,240
Speaker 1: also like it I don't need the money that by

1886
01:30:54,320 --> 01:30:56,519
Speaker 1: my doctor is so sweet, And he was really stressed

1887
01:30:56,520 --> 01:31:00,080
Speaker 1: about the situation too, like he felt terrible. Um, we

1888
01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:01,640
Speaker 1: just had different views about it, and at the end

1889
01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:03,240
Speaker 1: of the day, like I didn't care about a lawsuit,

1890
01:31:03,280 --> 01:31:05,599
Speaker 1: Like I just wanted like a little sympathy, I guess,

1891
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:10,599
Speaker 1: and like emotional support, and um, it just wasn't really there.

1892
01:31:10,920 --> 01:31:15,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm glad the situation seems to have subsided.

1893
01:31:17,840 --> 01:31:19,880
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a break here and when we come back,

1894
01:31:20,840 --> 01:31:23,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have my favorite time of the In Depth

1895
01:31:23,280 --> 01:31:26,040
Speaker 1: Podcast with Amanda, where Amanda and I sit down and

1896
01:31:26,040 --> 01:31:29,479
Speaker 1: talk about the cool things she's doing, what's coming up

1897
01:31:29,479 --> 01:31:31,320
Speaker 1: in her life. And then Ashley is going to have

1898
01:31:31,360 --> 01:31:33,920
Speaker 1: her favorite time on the In Depth Podcast with Amanda,

1899
01:31:33,960 --> 01:31:36,760
Speaker 1: and she's gonna rapid fire some questions and we're gonna,

1900
01:31:36,840 --> 01:31:38,680
Speaker 1: you know, Amanda before we head out of here in

1901
01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:41,720
Speaker 1: a really fun way. So stay tuned, listen up. We'll

1902
01:31:41,760 --> 01:31:48,000
Speaker 1: be back in just a second. So, Amanda, you've we've

1903
01:31:48,040 --> 01:31:52,759
Speaker 1: now walked through your timeline over the last a few years. Um,

1904
01:31:52,800 --> 01:31:54,439
Speaker 1: and it's a it's a lot has happened in the

1905
01:31:54,520 --> 01:31:58,479
Speaker 1: last few years. It's right now. Recently, you're launching a

1906
01:31:58,479 --> 01:32:03,840
Speaker 1: few products and jacks that I think you're super excited about.

1907
01:32:04,360 --> 01:32:06,840
Speaker 1: And we were missed without allowing you the space and

1908
01:32:06,920 --> 01:32:09,559
Speaker 1: the time and work site about him to share. Let's

1909
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:12,479
Speaker 1: start with the book tell us a little bit more.

1910
01:32:12,479 --> 01:32:16,280
Speaker 1: We've mentioned it earlier in the podcast. I contributed to

1911
01:32:16,320 --> 01:32:21,160
Speaker 1: it and actually did as well, Wow, look at us

1912
01:32:21,560 --> 01:32:26,919
Speaker 1: represent um yeah, tell tell whatever you want our listeners

1913
01:32:26,920 --> 01:32:29,479
Speaker 1: to know about your book. Just shut out there. So

1914
01:32:29,680 --> 01:32:31,120
Speaker 1: it's like a little all over the place. They have

1915
01:32:31,120 --> 01:32:32,680
Speaker 1: a lot of people ask me what it's about, and

1916
01:32:33,160 --> 01:32:35,280
Speaker 1: it's kind of an autobiography. It's a little bit about me.

1917
01:32:35,400 --> 01:32:37,439
Speaker 1: It's also just kind of like a self help book

1918
01:32:37,479 --> 01:32:40,760
Speaker 1: of like all the things that I've learned from certain experiences.

1919
01:32:40,800 --> 01:32:42,600
Speaker 1: It's kind of cute, like in every chapter there's like

1920
01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,600
Speaker 1: the roses and the thorn, so like the pros and

1921
01:32:44,640 --> 01:32:50,080
Speaker 1: the cons of like each situation and um yes, um

1922
01:32:50,120 --> 01:32:51,960
Speaker 1: so I think I think people will really enjoy it.

1923
01:32:51,960 --> 01:32:54,200
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a fun read. There's like everyone

1924
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:56,400
Speaker 1: keeps asking me like, oh, is it juicy? Is their tea?

1925
01:32:56,479 --> 01:32:59,320
Speaker 1: And I'm like, there is, But that's kind of wasn't

1926
01:32:59,320 --> 01:33:01,280
Speaker 1: the purpose of it? And I probably should say that

1927
01:33:01,320 --> 01:33:03,400
Speaker 1: there is. I feel like people will be more to

1928
01:33:03,400 --> 01:33:05,720
Speaker 1: read it, but and there is, for sure, But I

1929
01:33:05,760 --> 01:33:08,479
Speaker 1: just think I anything that I said, it was like

1930
01:33:08,520 --> 01:33:11,000
Speaker 1: only if it was useful, Like, oh I learned from this,

1931
01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,920
Speaker 1: Like there's really not anything in there that's just like

1932
01:33:12,960 --> 01:33:16,920
Speaker 1: irrelevant just to like bash upbody. Yeah, so but I

1933
01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:19,880
Speaker 1: mean it is, it's good. It's it was fun to write,

1934
01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:21,559
Speaker 1: and I've been writing it for like the last two

1935
01:33:21,600 --> 01:33:26,240
Speaker 1: and a half years and it's finally coming out. What

1936
01:33:26,280 --> 01:33:29,479
Speaker 1: was that? What ages of people would benefit? Gosh, I

1937
01:33:29,479 --> 01:33:35,800
Speaker 1: think anyone from like high school too, you know, any

1938
01:33:35,840 --> 01:33:40,439
Speaker 1: age I guess, um, it's like pretty universal. At first,

1939
01:33:40,439 --> 01:33:41,679
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I really want to write

1940
01:33:41,680 --> 01:33:44,719
Speaker 1: something for single moms, but it's definitely not just for moms.

1941
01:33:44,760 --> 01:33:49,799
Speaker 1: It's for anyone. So yeah, it's really good. I'm excited

1942
01:33:49,840 --> 01:33:54,160
Speaker 1: for you. It comes out September beginning of September, and

1943
01:33:54,200 --> 01:33:57,920
Speaker 1: it's a it's called now Exhibiting Roses, and it's really cute.

1944
01:33:57,920 --> 01:34:00,479
Speaker 1: There's like a little chapter so been An actually keep

1945
01:34:00,479 --> 01:34:02,000
Speaker 1: saying that they're in it, and there's like a little

1946
01:34:02,080 --> 01:34:05,400
Speaker 1: chapter that I had stories like funny for State, stories

1947
01:34:05,439 --> 01:34:07,519
Speaker 1: from other people that were on the on the show,

1948
01:34:07,560 --> 01:34:09,880
Speaker 1: and it's pretty funny chapter. So that's why I like it.

1949
01:34:09,920 --> 01:34:11,400
Speaker 1: I think it's like a really easy read, like you

1950
01:34:11,439 --> 01:34:12,880
Speaker 1: can hang out at the beach and read it like

1951
01:34:12,920 --> 01:34:15,920
Speaker 1: it's fun. Um. So yeah, I think people really like it.

1952
01:34:16,080 --> 01:34:17,479
Speaker 1: So it's not just a tell all but you have

1953
01:34:17,560 --> 01:34:20,479
Speaker 1: like cute two stories and yes, it's like fun. Yeah,

1954
01:34:20,840 --> 01:34:23,800
Speaker 1: don't make you laugh. Are you doing a whole book tour? Yeah,

1955
01:34:23,800 --> 01:34:26,040
Speaker 1: a few places, not like a full one, but going

1956
01:34:26,120 --> 01:34:28,639
Speaker 1: to a few places to look for Amanda Stanton author

1957
01:34:28,680 --> 01:34:32,839
Speaker 1: Amanda Stanton showing up in your local neighborhood signing books,

1958
01:34:33,040 --> 01:34:36,120
Speaker 1: talking life and talking to roses and thorns on top

1959
01:34:36,160 --> 01:34:39,360
Speaker 1: of the book and talk on top of being a mom.

1960
01:34:39,439 --> 01:34:43,600
Speaker 1: You've started a new clothing line. Yeah, I'm fairly unfamiliar

1961
01:34:43,600 --> 01:34:47,080
Speaker 1: with this. I don't shop there. I'm pretty familiar because

1962
01:34:47,120 --> 01:34:51,920
Speaker 1: everything is so cute. You truly designed pieces that you

1963
01:34:52,120 --> 01:34:55,439
Speaker 1: wear from like Revolve and stuff, but you made them

1964
01:34:55,479 --> 01:34:59,840
Speaker 1: your own and they're they're so signature to you and

1965
01:35:00,040 --> 01:35:02,240
Speaker 1: I love them and they're so cute and you're doing

1966
01:35:02,360 --> 01:35:04,760
Speaker 1: so well with them, Like every piece soil sells out

1967
01:35:04,880 --> 01:35:07,840
Speaker 1: right away. Yeah. So it's actually my favorite project that

1968
01:35:07,880 --> 01:35:09,840
Speaker 1: I've ever worked on before. It's like something I've always

1969
01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:13,200
Speaker 1: wanted to do. So it's been really fun um and

1970
01:35:13,240 --> 01:35:15,200
Speaker 1: I love the kids are like a huge part of it,

1971
01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,960
Speaker 1: which is so nice because they're super picky with their clothes.

1972
01:35:18,000 --> 01:35:20,479
Speaker 1: So every time we're like designing a new collection, they'll

1973
01:35:20,479 --> 01:35:22,880
Speaker 1: help me and they'll tell me what they like, what

1974
01:35:22,920 --> 01:35:25,200
Speaker 1: colors they like. Kids is my little fit model, she's

1975
01:35:25,240 --> 01:35:27,519
Speaker 1: my model on my website. Um So they kind of

1976
01:35:27,520 --> 01:35:29,360
Speaker 1: feel like it's their thing too. So it's been really

1977
01:35:29,400 --> 01:35:33,360
Speaker 1: fun and we love like dressing up and fashion, and

1978
01:35:33,920 --> 01:35:36,200
Speaker 1: it's been my favorite project so far. So what's the

1979
01:35:36,200 --> 01:35:41,000
Speaker 1: motivation behind it? Why? So, like, ever since the girls

1980
01:35:41,040 --> 01:35:44,280
Speaker 1: were little, I just love dressing them up, and obviously

1981
01:35:44,280 --> 01:35:46,880
Speaker 1: I love dressing myself up. Um So it just kind

1982
01:35:46,880 --> 01:35:48,519
Speaker 1: of came from that, Like I just wanted to design

1983
01:35:49,080 --> 01:35:51,880
Speaker 1: a line of things that like I loved and that

1984
01:35:51,920 --> 01:35:54,320
Speaker 1: made me feel confident and wanted other people to get

1985
01:35:54,360 --> 01:35:56,639
Speaker 1: to wear them. It's also pretty affordable, I think, compared

1986
01:35:56,680 --> 01:35:58,599
Speaker 1: to like a lot of other brands, So I wanted

1987
01:35:58,600 --> 01:36:01,280
Speaker 1: to kind of create something that was cute and made

1988
01:36:01,280 --> 01:36:04,080
Speaker 1: people feel good and was also affordable, especially for like

1989
01:36:04,360 --> 01:36:06,080
Speaker 1: the mommy and Me stuffs, and made some stuff in

1990
01:36:06,120 --> 01:36:09,320
Speaker 1: kids sizes too. So yeah, yeah, I like the way

1991
01:36:09,320 --> 01:36:12,000
Speaker 1: that you guys can be matchy. Yeah, because I feel

1992
01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:14,360
Speaker 1: like sometimes like matchy clothes with your kids, like the

1993
01:36:14,439 --> 01:36:16,599
Speaker 1: kids versions cute, but like the mom versions like kind

1994
01:36:16,600 --> 01:36:18,960
Speaker 1: of dorky. So I just wanted to make something that

1995
01:36:19,080 --> 01:36:22,760
Speaker 1: was like cute and matchy and I like that. How

1996
01:36:22,800 --> 01:36:25,280
Speaker 1: did you come up with the name of the label? Uh,

1997
01:36:25,320 --> 01:36:28,800
Speaker 1: there's really like no reason behind it. It's Hawaiian. It's

1998
01:36:28,840 --> 01:36:32,440
Speaker 1: Lonnie the label, so it's Hawaian l A and I

1999
01:36:32,600 --> 01:36:36,400
Speaker 1: the label. So it's Hawaiian for heaven. Hawai is your

2000
01:36:36,400 --> 01:36:40,520
Speaker 1: favorite place. But there's really no meaning, like super meaningful

2001
01:36:42,160 --> 01:36:44,679
Speaker 1: girls first. Yeah, and I just thought it flowed nicely.

2002
01:36:44,840 --> 01:36:49,000
Speaker 1: So label, Yeah, Lonnie the label check it out? Where

2003
01:36:49,000 --> 01:36:51,400
Speaker 1: can they? Where can all the listeners find it? Um,

2004
01:36:51,439 --> 01:36:53,599
Speaker 1: so you can find it on just Lonnie the Label

2005
01:36:53,640 --> 01:36:58,679
Speaker 1: dot com and then our Instagram is Lonnie the Label, Amanda,

2006
01:36:58,920 --> 01:37:00,800
Speaker 1: This is my time with you, Okay, this is where

2007
01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:03,280
Speaker 1: we get to dig in for a little bit. Um.

2008
01:37:03,320 --> 01:37:05,840
Speaker 1: Ashley pretty much she chimes in every once in a while,

2009
01:37:05,920 --> 01:37:08,240
Speaker 1: but she pretty much takes a back seat. This is

2010
01:37:08,280 --> 01:37:10,760
Speaker 1: definitely his cup of tea and the next thing is

2011
01:37:10,840 --> 01:37:14,120
Speaker 1: definitely mine. Um, we've learned a lot about you. I

2012
01:37:14,160 --> 01:37:16,880
Speaker 1: know you're tired our listeners. I'm assuming you have listened

2013
01:37:16,880 --> 01:37:19,439
Speaker 1: to this for last four days straight. Um, at this point,

2014
01:37:19,479 --> 01:37:23,200
Speaker 1: they've been they've been listening in the car driving to work, pausing,

2015
01:37:24,080 --> 01:37:26,920
Speaker 1: getting in car from work, starting again, so excited to

2016
01:37:26,960 --> 01:37:30,600
Speaker 1: listen to what it is. No, we're so pumped. And

2017
01:37:30,640 --> 01:37:32,080
Speaker 1: this is how these have been and this is why

2018
01:37:32,080 --> 01:37:34,439
Speaker 1: we love these. I mean, honestly, I mean, I don't

2019
01:37:34,439 --> 01:37:36,840
Speaker 1: know what you think of these in depths, but you know,

2020
01:37:36,880 --> 01:37:39,280
Speaker 1: our almost famous podcast has done really well over the

2021
01:37:39,360 --> 01:37:41,960
Speaker 1: last two years and it continues to grow, and it's

2022
01:37:42,040 --> 01:37:44,000
Speaker 1: it's it's an awesome we love it. It's a breakdown

2023
01:37:44,040 --> 01:37:46,120
Speaker 1: of the podcast. It's super light. It adds no stress

2024
01:37:46,160 --> 01:37:48,880
Speaker 1: to our lives. But again, as we mentioned, like these

2025
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:51,160
Speaker 1: in depths really allow us to get into our friends better,

2026
01:37:51,360 --> 01:37:53,280
Speaker 1: the other contestants better. Allows us to sit down and

2027
01:37:53,280 --> 01:37:56,000
Speaker 1: just hang out and talk uh in a way that's

2028
01:37:56,000 --> 01:37:57,519
Speaker 1: not threatening or we're not trying to get anything out

2029
01:37:57,520 --> 01:38:00,720
Speaker 1: of anybody. Uh and our listen. I mean, these these

2030
01:38:00,760 --> 01:38:03,840
Speaker 1: podcasts are beginning a ton of lestens because I think

2031
01:38:03,880 --> 01:38:06,479
Speaker 1: it's enjoyable. So you're talking a lot. I think it's

2032
01:38:06,520 --> 01:38:09,719
Speaker 1: fun for everybody, and we appreciate it. Um, this woman

2033
01:38:09,840 --> 01:38:12,439
Speaker 1: asking you to talk a Ton though, so Amana, we've

2034
01:38:12,439 --> 01:38:15,559
Speaker 1: we've got to hear your whole story, and we started

2035
01:38:15,560 --> 01:38:17,200
Speaker 1: this podcast off. I mean, if you think about that,

2036
01:38:17,280 --> 01:38:19,479
Speaker 1: when we just started talking in a couple of hours ago,

2037
01:38:19,800 --> 01:38:22,960
Speaker 1: we were talking about these random relationships and the breakups

2038
01:38:23,000 --> 01:38:25,880
Speaker 1: and in our time together on the show. But there

2039
01:38:25,960 --> 01:38:30,320
Speaker 1: wasn't Amanda way before this show, um that existed that

2040
01:38:30,360 --> 01:38:32,360
Speaker 1: had been through heartbreak and obviously came on the show

2041
01:38:32,400 --> 01:38:36,400
Speaker 1: and in a place of pain for a second. I

2042
01:38:36,439 --> 01:38:38,760
Speaker 1: just want to now kind of sum this all up,

2043
01:38:38,960 --> 01:38:42,559
Speaker 1: like who were you coming into the show. I mean,

2044
01:38:42,600 --> 01:38:44,760
Speaker 1: I think I'm still the same person as it was

2045
01:38:44,800 --> 01:38:47,400
Speaker 1: back then. I think back then, I just, um, I

2046
01:38:47,479 --> 01:38:50,400
Speaker 1: was young. I think I kind of like had this

2047
01:38:50,479 --> 01:38:52,840
Speaker 1: idea of like what my life should be or what

2048
01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:54,320
Speaker 1: I should be doing. And I think I've kind of

2049
01:38:54,400 --> 01:39:00,479
Speaker 1: learned to balance everything and focus a little more on myself.

2050
01:39:00,560 --> 01:39:02,960
Speaker 1: And I think I've had a lot of experiences over

2051
01:39:03,000 --> 01:39:04,400
Speaker 1: the last couple of years that have really helped me

2052
01:39:04,439 --> 01:39:06,719
Speaker 1: find myself. So I think now I'm just a little

2053
01:39:06,760 --> 01:39:11,920
Speaker 1: more confident and um just kind of have a better

2054
01:39:12,000 --> 01:39:14,880
Speaker 1: idea of how to balance everything. You mentioned a couple

2055
01:39:14,880 --> 01:39:18,320
Speaker 1: of times that you're a kind person, you're super forgiving,

2056
01:39:19,080 --> 01:39:23,680
Speaker 1: But what is it about you that you're scared of?

2057
01:39:23,720 --> 01:39:26,280
Speaker 1: Like where your weaknesses lie? And where were these things

2058
01:39:26,320 --> 01:39:28,320
Speaker 1: coming into the show? And then also now that sit

2059
01:39:28,400 --> 01:39:31,479
Speaker 1: there that that you're fearful of, because I think it's people.

2060
01:39:31,479 --> 01:39:32,720
Speaker 1: One of the things we can all relate on is

2061
01:39:32,800 --> 01:39:36,280
Speaker 1: we have failures and we have fears and and even

2062
01:39:36,320 --> 01:39:38,920
Speaker 1: if you are a super kind person, there's something in

2063
01:39:38,960 --> 01:39:47,000
Speaker 1: there that still exists. So like, what are my weaknesses? Um, gosh,

2064
01:39:47,120 --> 01:39:50,840
Speaker 1: I mean I have a few. Um, I mean this

2065
01:39:50,920 --> 01:39:54,479
Speaker 1: sounds like super cliche, but I do think I like

2066
01:39:54,760 --> 01:39:57,320
Speaker 1: tend to see the good in people instead of the bad.

2067
01:39:57,360 --> 01:39:59,800
Speaker 1: And I kind of think that's where my relationships have

2068
01:39:59,800 --> 01:40:01,639
Speaker 1: gone wrong. Is the focus too much on the good

2069
01:40:01,720 --> 01:40:05,120
Speaker 1: until it's over and then I kind of take my

2070
01:40:05,160 --> 01:40:07,519
Speaker 1: blinders off. But I think just in general, like I'm

2071
01:40:07,520 --> 01:40:10,120
Speaker 1: a perfectionist, so I think I'm too hard on myself

2072
01:40:10,160 --> 01:40:17,160
Speaker 1: a lot of the time. Um yeah, yeah, that ISID

2073
01:40:17,200 --> 01:40:19,360
Speaker 1: a good enough in isaid a good answer? It's good

2074
01:40:19,439 --> 01:40:21,519
Speaker 1: enough if you think it's good enough. I don't know.

2075
01:40:21,560 --> 01:40:23,000
Speaker 1: I mean I have I have quite a few more,

2076
01:40:23,080 --> 01:40:26,400
Speaker 1: but I think that's good. The The thing of this,

2077
01:40:26,400 --> 01:40:31,120
Speaker 1: this whole process is life is is this whole thing

2078
01:40:31,160 --> 01:40:33,800
Speaker 1: has helped us become something. And I think I want

2079
01:40:33,800 --> 01:40:36,479
Speaker 1: to ask you, is who are you becoming? Like who

2080
01:40:36,560 --> 01:40:40,400
Speaker 1: is Amanda Stanton? And who are you becoming in the future?

2081
01:40:40,479 --> 01:40:46,160
Speaker 1: And now what are your dreams for yourself? Um? I

2082
01:40:46,200 --> 01:40:49,160
Speaker 1: think I just kind of I'm just me, and I

2083
01:40:49,200 --> 01:40:53,320
Speaker 1: think I've learned to kind of accept me. I mean,

2084
01:40:53,560 --> 01:40:55,800
Speaker 1: I just have learned to kind of do what makes

2085
01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:59,439
Speaker 1: me happy and do life the way that I want

2086
01:40:59,479 --> 01:41:02,360
Speaker 1: to do it and of stopped thinking I need to

2087
01:41:02,360 --> 01:41:05,800
Speaker 1: be doing things a certain way or be listening to

2088
01:41:05,840 --> 01:41:07,760
Speaker 1: other people or what they think. I think I've kind

2089
01:41:07,760 --> 01:41:09,320
Speaker 1: of learned to just kind of do my own thing

2090
01:41:09,400 --> 01:41:12,120
Speaker 1: and be confident in that. And so if anything, that's

2091
01:41:12,160 --> 01:41:14,360
Speaker 1: kind of what I hope to inspire other people to do,

2092
01:41:14,520 --> 01:41:17,320
Speaker 1: especially like when their moms. I think there's so many

2093
01:41:18,000 --> 01:41:20,320
Speaker 1: stereotypes and things that people think that you need to

2094
01:41:20,320 --> 01:41:23,200
Speaker 1: be doing, and I just think that everyone should just

2095
01:41:23,240 --> 01:41:25,240
Speaker 1: really do what makes them happy because life short and

2096
01:41:25,280 --> 01:41:28,920
Speaker 1: I think it's important to be happy and just believe

2097
01:41:28,960 --> 01:41:30,880
Speaker 1: in yourself and know that you're a good person and

2098
01:41:30,920 --> 01:41:33,439
Speaker 1: not really care what everyone else thinks. And I think

2099
01:41:33,479 --> 01:41:35,720
Speaker 1: one thing that I've learned throughout all of this is like,

2100
01:41:36,080 --> 01:41:38,120
Speaker 1: of course everybody knows they get a lot of haters

2101
01:41:38,120 --> 01:41:40,120
Speaker 1: and judgment, but I never really change what I'm doing.

2102
01:41:40,160 --> 01:41:44,040
Speaker 1: It kind of continue to do the same thing. Um.

2103
01:41:44,120 --> 01:41:47,400
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think I just I'm just happy and

2104
01:41:47,439 --> 01:41:49,600
Speaker 1: I want everyone to be happy. Has there been a

2105
01:41:49,640 --> 01:41:52,840
Speaker 1: moment in this whole thing that I mean and it

2106
01:41:52,880 --> 01:41:54,600
Speaker 1: feels weird? I don't want to say this whole thing

2107
01:41:54,640 --> 01:41:56,800
Speaker 1: because it feels weird to sum up the last six

2108
01:41:56,880 --> 01:41:59,360
Speaker 1: years as your life and you've had a life way before.

2109
01:41:59,520 --> 01:42:01,559
Speaker 1: Is there been a moment in life where you felt

2110
01:42:01,600 --> 01:42:04,400
Speaker 1: like you're getting off that track of that whatever you

2111
01:42:04,479 --> 01:42:07,120
Speaker 1: wanted to become and however you were becoming that it

2112
01:42:07,200 --> 01:42:09,760
Speaker 1: felt like you've derailed and there's no place to turn.

2113
01:42:11,200 --> 01:42:12,800
Speaker 1: I don't really think I've ever felt like there's no

2114
01:42:12,840 --> 01:42:15,240
Speaker 1: place to turn, but I've definitely had ups and downs.

2115
01:42:15,280 --> 01:42:17,160
Speaker 1: I mean we just talked about one, like the whole

2116
01:42:17,880 --> 01:42:22,360
Speaker 1: Vega situation was like a huge thing for me. Um,

2117
01:42:22,520 --> 01:42:24,800
Speaker 1: obviously when I've gone through breakups, that was a big

2118
01:42:24,840 --> 01:42:26,720
Speaker 1: thing for me. Just things like life doesn't always go

2119
01:42:26,720 --> 01:42:28,720
Speaker 1: as planned or how you expect it. And I think

2120
01:42:28,960 --> 01:42:32,000
Speaker 1: there's been multiple times throughout the past five years where

2121
01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:34,320
Speaker 1: I've totally thought my life was going in one direction

2122
01:42:34,360 --> 01:42:37,439
Speaker 1: and then it doesn't. Um. But I've never really felt

2123
01:42:37,479 --> 01:42:40,880
Speaker 1: like super unmotivated, like oh, like life's over. But there's

2124
01:42:40,880 --> 01:42:43,519
Speaker 1: definitely been times where I've had to like change things

2125
01:42:43,560 --> 01:42:46,599
Speaker 1: around a little. So what is that motivation that? I mean,

2126
01:42:46,640 --> 01:42:51,479
Speaker 1: how do you continue to move forward? Um? I mean

2127
01:42:51,600 --> 01:42:54,599
Speaker 1: I obviously, like sounds cliche, but I have my kids,

2128
01:42:54,600 --> 01:42:57,680
Speaker 1: so I always have to like be happy and be

2129
01:42:57,800 --> 01:43:01,760
Speaker 1: the best version of myself for them. But I think also, um,

2130
01:43:01,800 --> 01:43:03,479
Speaker 1: I've just kind of learned to be a little bit

2131
01:43:03,520 --> 01:43:08,080
Speaker 1: more adaptable. Like I'm happy if I find somebody and

2132
01:43:08,240 --> 01:43:10,599
Speaker 1: I get married in two years and have another baby.

2133
01:43:10,640 --> 01:43:12,680
Speaker 1: And I'm also fine if I'm single for the rest

2134
01:43:12,720 --> 01:43:14,080
Speaker 1: of my life. Like at the end of the day,

2135
01:43:14,120 --> 01:43:16,920
Speaker 1: like i think, I'm just good no matter what. And

2136
01:43:16,960 --> 01:43:20,439
Speaker 1: I've just kind of accepted that. So let's just close

2137
01:43:20,479 --> 01:43:21,920
Speaker 1: here with a couple. I want to have a couple

2138
01:43:21,920 --> 01:43:24,360
Speaker 1: of questions about your kids. Who are who are they becoming?

2139
01:43:24,520 --> 01:43:27,400
Speaker 1: Like what are your dreams for them? Um? So I

2140
01:43:27,439 --> 01:43:32,120
Speaker 1: mean I'm biased. I just think they're like the best, cutest,

2141
01:43:32,880 --> 01:43:35,640
Speaker 1: smartest little humans in the entire world. Um, And I

2142
01:43:35,680 --> 01:43:37,160
Speaker 1: tell them all the time, like, you guys can do

2143
01:43:37,240 --> 01:43:40,280
Speaker 1: whatever you want. Um, you guys can be anything that

2144
01:43:40,320 --> 01:43:42,280
Speaker 1: you want to be. Kids is like such an entertainer.

2145
01:43:42,320 --> 01:43:44,679
Speaker 1: I can see her doing something like in the entertainment industry.

2146
01:43:44,680 --> 01:43:46,519
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, I mean, she

2147
01:43:46,600 --> 01:43:49,040
Speaker 1: can do whatever she wants. Um. And Charlie is just

2148
01:43:49,120 --> 01:43:51,080
Speaker 1: so sweet. I mean, both of them are so different,

2149
01:43:51,080 --> 01:43:54,200
Speaker 1: but they both are just so special in their own ways. UM.

2150
01:43:54,280 --> 01:43:57,240
Speaker 1: So I'm really proud of them. Charlie starting kindergarten this year.

2151
01:43:57,960 --> 01:44:00,160
Speaker 1: So it's I always say the best part about being

2152
01:44:00,200 --> 01:44:02,120
Speaker 1: a mom's like seeing your kids grow up to be

2153
01:44:02,360 --> 01:44:05,240
Speaker 1: like their own people and kind of develop their own

2154
01:44:05,240 --> 01:44:09,280
Speaker 1: personalities and interests and all of that stuff. So, um, yeah,

2155
01:44:09,320 --> 01:44:14,120
Speaker 1: they're really Cute's awesome. Yeah, Amanda, great job. Thank you

2156
01:44:14,200 --> 01:44:15,920
Speaker 1: for coming on the podcast today. I'm gonna pass this

2157
01:44:15,960 --> 01:44:22,320
Speaker 1: over to Ashtuff close out uh in a really fun no. Um, Amanda,

2158
01:44:23,560 --> 01:44:27,600
Speaker 1: you uh you definitely. We we love to sum up

2159
01:44:27,640 --> 01:44:31,200
Speaker 1: these podcasts, uh with those questions and a little bit

2160
01:44:31,200 --> 01:44:34,120
Speaker 1: of notes. But you really are becoming, uh somebody that

2161
01:44:34,160 --> 01:44:37,920
Speaker 1: I think is confident. We see that and also from

2162
01:44:37,920 --> 01:44:40,360
Speaker 1: from our perspective and we get to see a little

2163
01:44:40,400 --> 01:44:42,000
Speaker 1: bit more than most is you are a great mom.

2164
01:44:42,240 --> 01:44:45,080
Speaker 1: And uh, there's some things in life that I would

2165
01:44:45,120 --> 01:44:46,960
Speaker 1: say that we need to listen to the people that

2166
01:44:47,000 --> 01:44:48,920
Speaker 1: are critiquing us, but those are typically the people that

2167
01:44:48,920 --> 01:44:50,920
Speaker 1: are in the arena with us or our family members

2168
01:44:50,960 --> 01:44:53,720
Speaker 1: and friends. People from now soide don't know. But you

2169
01:44:53,880 --> 01:44:57,120
Speaker 1: as a mom is something that I think not only

2170
01:44:57,160 --> 01:45:00,000
Speaker 1: adorable because I think your friendship with them is incredib

2171
01:45:00,040 --> 01:45:02,280
Speaker 1: will have a good friendship with my parents, but just

2172
01:45:02,320 --> 01:45:06,240
Speaker 1: the way that you your parents as well. So um, yeah,

2173
01:45:06,280 --> 01:45:09,360
Speaker 1: thanks for being with us today, Ashley. Take it away,

2174
01:45:09,439 --> 01:45:11,479
Speaker 1: all right, So here's your speed round. We'll try to

2175
01:45:11,560 --> 01:45:14,760
Speaker 1: keep it as like you know, as phrases, got it.

2176
01:45:14,960 --> 01:45:17,280
Speaker 1: But the first one I have is in a phrase,

2177
01:45:17,880 --> 01:45:21,880
Speaker 1: how frustrating is it when people say you don't have

2178
01:45:21,920 --> 01:45:25,599
Speaker 1: a job or go get a job? Yeah, it's really frustrating.

2179
01:45:25,600 --> 01:45:28,040
Speaker 1: I mean, it can't get more annoying, right, yeah, because

2180
01:45:28,040 --> 01:45:30,040
Speaker 1: you can't explain it every single time. You can't explain

2181
01:45:30,080 --> 01:45:32,160
Speaker 1: what you do, probably because there's just like a whole

2182
01:45:32,160 --> 01:45:34,760
Speaker 1: bunch of different things and they would never understand how

2183
01:45:34,800 --> 01:45:39,320
Speaker 1: time consuming it is. It's frustrating, it's annoying. It's just

2184
01:45:39,360 --> 01:45:42,439
Speaker 1: really a sound. It's like, actually, that feels like more

2185
01:45:42,479 --> 01:45:45,800
Speaker 1: of like a personal question to Amanda for yourself, because

2186
01:45:45,840 --> 01:45:50,280
Speaker 1: I though I absolutely know that you can relate. I

2187
01:45:50,280 --> 01:45:52,680
Speaker 1: can feel the anger building up on this side of

2188
01:45:52,680 --> 01:45:56,920
Speaker 1: the table. But do you not feel the same? Yeah?

2189
01:45:57,600 --> 01:46:00,599
Speaker 1: But do you even do do it? Like you don't

2190
01:46:00,600 --> 01:46:03,920
Speaker 1: have a job. Even I'll hear people that even know

2191
01:46:04,120 --> 01:46:07,360
Speaker 1: us and they'll be like, well, you know, they don't

2192
01:46:07,360 --> 01:46:09,960
Speaker 1: have a job, you know, referring to one of our

2193
01:46:10,080 --> 01:46:14,960
Speaker 1: friends in the circle, and it's like, uh no you do. Okay,

2194
01:46:15,120 --> 01:46:18,240
Speaker 1: moving on? What's your Starbucks order? Okay, so a song?

2195
01:46:18,280 --> 01:46:20,880
Speaker 1: I get a cold found cappuccino with almond milk, one

2196
01:46:20,920 --> 01:46:24,680
Speaker 1: pump of vanilla in an added chat of espresso, A

2197
01:46:24,840 --> 01:46:32,040
Speaker 1: complicated one. Yeah, and like that person I know favorite musician? Ah,

2198
01:46:31,880 --> 01:46:34,840
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I don't have one. Come on, who

2199
01:46:34,840 --> 01:46:36,519
Speaker 1: do you listen to the most? Like? Who do you

2200
01:46:36,520 --> 01:46:44,200
Speaker 1: go to most? On your iPod? iPod iPhone? I've been

2201
01:46:44,360 --> 01:46:50,800
Speaker 1: very into Celindon lately. Fantastic answer, timeless, classic, Um, what

2202
01:46:50,880 --> 01:46:55,560
Speaker 1: would be your last meal? A big bull of pasta? Okay, Scaretty,

2203
01:46:55,800 --> 01:46:59,720
Speaker 1: like describe it to me, just like a big bull

2204
01:46:59,760 --> 01:47:02,000
Speaker 1: of baghetti. No, I mean like what kind of noodle

2205
01:47:02,040 --> 01:47:05,880
Speaker 1: and what sauce? Spaghetti, red sauce, Maybe a pizza too?

2206
01:47:05,960 --> 01:47:07,599
Speaker 1: Can I can? I have multiple things in the mail,

2207
01:47:07,720 --> 01:47:11,400
Speaker 1: so okay, okay. In food I asked this question, I

2208
01:47:11,479 --> 01:47:15,080
Speaker 1: chose salad. Remember that Colton also chose salad when I

2209
01:47:15,120 --> 01:47:20,920
Speaker 1: asked him this question, Like pizza, pasta, sushi, Chick fil a? Okay,

2210
01:47:20,960 --> 01:47:27,960
Speaker 1: sounds great? Okay. Who's your celebrity crush? Um? I feel

2211
01:47:28,000 --> 01:47:30,320
Speaker 1: you have them. I feel like I've heard you Bradley

2212
01:47:30,320 --> 01:47:33,880
Speaker 1: Cooper good one? Yeah, Bradley Cooper clean? Or are we

2213
01:47:33,960 --> 01:47:38,000
Speaker 1: talking like you know stars Warren Bradley Jackson Me, yeah,

2214
01:47:38,000 --> 01:47:40,759
Speaker 1: it's the best time. He's so hot. Who's the Bachelor

2215
01:47:40,920 --> 01:47:45,360
Speaker 1: Nation crush that you have that you never dated? Ah?

2216
01:47:45,640 --> 01:47:49,280
Speaker 1: I can't say, come on, just who's hot? Okay? I

2217
01:47:49,320 --> 01:47:52,040
Speaker 1: think next? Really cute? Okay? Yeah? Great, well you kind

2218
01:47:52,080 --> 01:47:55,439
Speaker 1: of almost you went on a date? Yeah? Something that

2219
01:47:55,520 --> 01:47:58,120
Speaker 1: you can watch over and over again. Well, there's a

2220
01:47:58,120 --> 01:48:02,600
Speaker 1: TV show or movie? Friends? Okay, how often do you

2221
01:48:02,680 --> 01:48:04,880
Speaker 1: have a beauty related appointment? You and I are the

2222
01:48:04,960 --> 01:48:06,519
Speaker 1: same here, and this is why I can ask you

2223
01:48:06,640 --> 01:48:12,880
Speaker 1: like every other day between nails, brows, hair, yeah, like

2224
01:48:13,000 --> 01:48:21,000
Speaker 1: laser hair, moable lashes, facials, botox, like probably twice a week, Okay,

2225
01:48:21,000 --> 01:48:22,880
Speaker 1: twice a week. I'd say that I'd be like, at

2226
01:48:22,880 --> 01:48:24,920
Speaker 1: the minimum once a week, and I like to fill

2227
01:48:25,000 --> 01:48:27,320
Speaker 1: them all within a week that I have nothing to do.

2228
01:48:27,880 --> 01:48:30,160
Speaker 1: Get a facial, get my lashes done, get my nails done,

2229
01:48:30,200 --> 01:48:32,519
Speaker 1: all in one day, just like a whole day of

2230
01:48:32,560 --> 01:48:36,280
Speaker 1: like beauty appointments. You can get like laser like before

2231
01:48:36,280 --> 01:48:38,519
Speaker 1: the weekend so that you know people don't see you

2232
01:48:38,600 --> 01:48:42,680
Speaker 1: all poppy. YEA best vacation you've ever been on? My

2233
01:48:42,760 --> 01:48:45,599
Speaker 1: favorite place is why? I kind of all the places

2234
01:48:45,600 --> 01:48:50,080
Speaker 1: you've been to, ye, best gift you've ever received? Um,

2235
01:48:50,840 --> 01:48:53,320
Speaker 1: things that can chart makes me at school? Is there

2236
01:48:53,320 --> 01:48:55,080
Speaker 1: one picture that you're definitely just going to say for

2237
01:48:55,080 --> 01:48:56,960
Speaker 1: a lifetime. Yeah, So Charlie made me like a little

2238
01:48:57,000 --> 01:48:58,640
Speaker 1: Christmas one and it has your picture on it and

2239
01:48:58,640 --> 01:49:00,880
Speaker 1: like her smile is the cutest thing here. So that's

2240
01:49:00,880 --> 01:49:03,519
Speaker 1: probably my favorite. My mom still has that Christmas ornament

2241
01:49:03,600 --> 01:49:06,160
Speaker 1: that we made with my face in the middle, the

2242
01:49:06,200 --> 01:49:09,200
Speaker 1: outside the snowflake. It's still on the tree years later.

2243
01:49:09,240 --> 01:49:13,519
Speaker 1: She just looked so proud in it favorite Bachelor moment

2244
01:49:13,560 --> 01:49:20,240
Speaker 1: that didn't make air um or b I p oh

2245
01:49:20,320 --> 01:49:22,479
Speaker 1: in Bachelor in Paradises. I mean it's not a favorite moment,

2246
01:49:22,520 --> 01:49:23,840
Speaker 1: but it was like kind of a funny one. I

2247
01:49:24,000 --> 01:49:25,920
Speaker 1: got attacked by mosquitoes. I don't know if you remember that.

2248
01:49:25,960 --> 01:49:29,280
Speaker 1: My arm like that, My god, nobody's ever seen an

2249
01:49:29,400 --> 01:49:31,840
Speaker 1: arm like Amanda's arm. Yeah. I was so glad they

2250
01:49:31,840 --> 01:49:33,680
Speaker 1: didn't hear it. But yeah. Oh and I also got

2251
01:49:33,680 --> 01:49:36,479
Speaker 1: seasick on Josh and I's first date. Okay, yeah, so

2252
01:49:36,560 --> 01:49:38,240
Speaker 1: there was like lots of moments because neither of those

2253
01:49:38,240 --> 01:49:41,360
Speaker 1: your favorite moments, but like I'm memorable, memorable. Were also

2254
01:49:41,560 --> 01:49:45,519
Speaker 1: concerned about your arm? It, guys, it was blown off.

2255
01:49:45,920 --> 01:49:49,720
Speaker 1: It was as if she was allergic to I was allergic. Yeah,

2256
01:49:51,040 --> 01:49:54,160
Speaker 1: I was not. Okay. The first thing you would save

2257
01:49:54,200 --> 01:49:58,360
Speaker 1: in your house if it was on fire, my kids. Okay,

2258
01:49:58,680 --> 01:50:04,599
Speaker 1: find possession a material object my designer handbags and choose.

2259
01:50:05,479 --> 01:50:07,879
Speaker 1: Perfect lead into what's your favorite thing in your closet?

2260
01:50:08,520 --> 01:50:13,080
Speaker 1: My designer handbags and choose. My last question is would

2261
01:50:13,080 --> 01:50:16,160
Speaker 1: you ever be bachelorette? Um? I mean I have no

2262
01:50:16,240 --> 01:50:18,800
Speaker 1: desire to know, but if they came to you with

2263
01:50:18,840 --> 01:50:21,040
Speaker 1: a contract. It would be hard to say no, yeah,

2264
01:50:21,640 --> 01:50:25,320
Speaker 1: but I don't really want to yeah. And does that

2265
01:50:25,360 --> 01:50:29,400
Speaker 1: conclude our mini series of a podcast with Amanda stands

2266
01:50:29,520 --> 01:50:33,360
Speaker 1: amazing eight episodes, Amanda follow our lead here. Thank you

2267
01:50:33,439 --> 01:50:37,040
Speaker 1: again everybody out there listening. Make sure you tune in

2268
01:50:37,800 --> 01:50:41,160
Speaker 1: next week for another episode of Almost Famous. I've Been Been,

2269
01:50:41,360 --> 01:50:44,920
Speaker 1: I've been Ashley. I'm Amanda, I've been I've been Amanda.

2270
01:50:45,200 --> 01:50:47,040
Speaker 1: I don't know why we started this, but we've done

2271
01:50:47,040 --> 01:50:49,519
Speaker 1: it for two years later. Guys By