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Speaker 1: Did as I feel the same way. There's nothing worse

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Speaker 1: than going to a foreign country and feeling like you're

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Speaker 1: the stoopid one because you don't know another language. Is

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Speaker 1: that the stone? Where are you sis? Facts? Well, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You may know us

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Speaker 1: from posting funny videos without boys and reading each other

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Speaker 1: publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you

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Speaker 1: need therapy most days. Wow. And one more important thing

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Speaker 1: to mention, we're married. We are. We created this podcast

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Speaker 1: to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics,

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Speaker 1: things most folks don't want to talk about through the

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Speaker 1: lens of a millennium married couple. That ads is the

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Speaker 1: term that we say every day. So when we say

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Speaker 1: dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth,

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Speaker 1: and nothing but the truth. We're about to take pillow

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Speaker 1: talk to our whole new level. Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take you guys back to summertime, two thousand

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Speaker 1: and eighteen. Um Kas was just born the previous November.

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Speaker 1: Kyra was born the previous September to that, so Jackson

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Speaker 1: had to be seven. Yes, Jackson was seven years old.

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Speaker 1: And we had booked a Gellette campaign that was shooting

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Speaker 1: over in Spain, and we were super excited about it.

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Speaker 1: Father soun opportunity to go to Madrid, and we get

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Speaker 1: to Madrid and everything. Of course it's in Spanish because

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Speaker 1: we're in Spain. And the whole time I'm making do

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? Ordering what I knew out

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Speaker 1: of order over the phone, and Jackson's laughing at me

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Speaker 1: because of how I say casa dias and I was

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Speaker 1: ordering pizza from Pizza Hut. But then they got real

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Speaker 1: serious when we had a day off and we weren't

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Speaker 1: shooting and we wanted to go to see the city

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Speaker 1: a little bit. So we go to Madrid. We go

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Speaker 1: to a couple of museums and I was on the

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Speaker 1: bus line and the guy was just like, hey, it's

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Speaker 1: very simple to get to wherever you want to go.

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Speaker 1: You stay on the bus line, go this way, go

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Speaker 1: that way. Boom. So you know me, I'm a I'm

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Speaker 1: a traveler. I think I know trains in direction pretty well.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you could travel New York City so

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Speaker 1: were exactly, you could travel anywhere, right, So I think

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Speaker 1: it was easy. So we got off the bus line,

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Speaker 1: so doing a little bit more traveling, and Jackson says, hey,

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Speaker 1: I gotta use the bathroom. So I'm like, all right, bet,

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Speaker 1: let's all run into this museum. We get to the museum,

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Speaker 1: and of course you got to pay to get into

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Speaker 1: the museum, so I had to pay for Jackson used bathroom,

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Speaker 1: which a whole another thing. But then when we came

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Speaker 1: out of the museum, we came out of a different

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Speaker 1: exit than then we to it, So now my direction

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Speaker 1: was all messed up because it wasn't like directly behind

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Speaker 1: the museum, so I wasn't sure exactly where we were,

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Speaker 1: and now I had to read the signs and try

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Speaker 1: to figure out where we were going. So now we're

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Speaker 1: in Madrid, starting to get dark, and I'm getting nervous,

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Speaker 1: and we passed this part in Madrid that looks like

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Speaker 1: Grand on me Plaza. So it's a circle with a

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Speaker 1: bunch of streets. If you're lost, that's the worst thing

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Speaker 1: you want to see, is like a circle with a

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Speaker 1: bunch of streets. And I'm looking around and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to stop and ask anybody for directions because I

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Speaker 1: don't want to seem like a tourist. And we and

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Speaker 1: we weren't in a touristy part of town. And you ever,

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Speaker 1: if you're in another country, you never want to seem

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Speaker 1: like you don't belong. And Jackson looks up at me

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Speaker 1: and goes, Daddy, we lost. I was like, We're not lost.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to show you boards in Madrid. We lost,

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Speaker 1: and I can't let my son know that we left.

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Speaker 1: And in that moment, I felt so small Number one,

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Speaker 1: because I couldn't speak another language. I took Spanish from

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Speaker 1: the time I was in sixth grade all the way

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Speaker 1: through college and couldn't remember a damn thing because I

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Speaker 1: didn't practice it. Like I just didn't. It was about

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Speaker 1: passing tests, passing your regents in New York, you know

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Speaker 1: our region saw and then getting my degree in college.

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Speaker 1: And I couldn't speak a liquor Spanish, and I'm getting nervous,

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Speaker 1: so I'm walking around trying to remember you know that

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Speaker 1: the New Yorker and me started to kick in and

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Speaker 1: I started to feel like I was getting back on path.

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Speaker 1: But now I was getting really dark, and I had

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Speaker 1: the room key, so I said, freaking I go over

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Speaker 1: to a cab. I pointed the key, I said, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, can you take me here? And you take

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Speaker 1: me here? So then he started to smirk a little bit,

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Speaker 1: so I was just like, you try to rob me

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Speaker 1: and something like I felt like I wasn't taken. Now,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I have a and if you with me, right,

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Speaker 1: So we get in the cab. And when we get

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Speaker 1: in the cab, the cab driver literally turns the corner,

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Speaker 1: drives two blocks and the hotel is right there. So

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Speaker 1: I don't even remember. I didn't even care. All I

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Speaker 1: knew was that once I saw the hotel, I was happy.

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Speaker 1: But in that moment, I felt so tiny because here

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Speaker 1: I am in front, in front of my son, and

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Speaker 1: I can't get us to where we want to go

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Speaker 1: because in my American egocentric mind, English be all the

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Speaker 1: ends all And I realized in that moment that I

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Speaker 1: had to travel more and I had to expand my

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Speaker 1: mind one, two three being around the world. What are

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Speaker 1: you doing? That's how the song goes on it, and

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Speaker 1: we've been playing I hated, I hate us. You're singing

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Speaker 1: a different version of it. I'm singing the bad boy version.

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Speaker 1: Why he go way? And I don't know where he

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Speaker 1: can be? My baby been around the world shout out,

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Speaker 1: shout out, yeah, who since the original? Again, no idea,

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Speaker 1: you won't look it up. I'm gonna look it up.

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Speaker 1: I'll come back. We'll do a break and come back

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Speaker 1: definitely on my playlist. A matter of fact, were actually

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Speaker 1: about to take a break right now, so we got

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Speaker 1: to pay some bills. Why are we going to pay

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Speaker 1: some bills? How about you look that up so we

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Speaker 1: can give proper credit. I'm going to go look it up.

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Speaker 1: Is it Lisa Fisher to the Ladies song that you

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Speaker 1: stole here on that as podcast talk about our seen

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Speaker 1: the original? No, Lisa Fishers? How can I use the pain?

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Speaker 1: All right? I'm gonna come back to that, y'all. You

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Speaker 1: just being around the world, all right, We'll take the break.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna take a break. We'll get back. All right, y'all,

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Speaker 1: we're back. And I did my research, and the funny

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Speaker 1: thing is when I typed in being around the world,

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Speaker 1: what comes up first? Sean Comb, Lisa Sands. It was

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Speaker 1: Lesa's ask for y'all. Shout out to Lisa. He was

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Speaker 1: the original, the originator. Yeah, but um yeah, that Madrid

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Speaker 1: story that was kind of uh. I know, I probably

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Speaker 1: would have been asking directions left and right, trying to

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Speaker 1: recall the Spanish that I did know. And it's crazy

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Speaker 1: because when I studied Spanish back in school, I feel

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Speaker 1: like I was in a really good place with it,

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Speaker 1: Like I was able to I was able to communicate

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Speaker 1: a lot. You know, you were in the hair salon,

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Speaker 1: you know they're talking about you in Spanish. You can

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Speaker 1: just hear what they say, you know, little things like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I used to go to my little spot there and

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, they're definitely talking about me right now,

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Speaker 1: for sure, for sure. Um. But just recently traveling you

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Speaker 1: and I over to Europe, it's just insane the bubble

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Speaker 1: that we're in living in America, and how much more

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Speaker 1: world is out there, and you're you're encountering people who

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Speaker 1: speak to three or four or five different languages. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's just like the norm for them. Um. And it's

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Speaker 1: funny because when I first was looking at schools for Jackson,

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Speaker 1: this is before you know, Kirokaz in Dakota. You know,

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Speaker 1: first time parents, first time mom. This is my child's

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Speaker 1: first time going to school. And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you recall, but at the time I was pretty much

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Speaker 1: taking tours at a ton of different schools. I was

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Speaker 1: looking at public, I was looking at private, independent, and

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Speaker 1: I actually went to an immersion school, which is pretty

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Speaker 1: much a school that does two languages at the same time.

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Speaker 1: So it would be American or English rather, which is

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Speaker 1: our native language, and then another language, so your child

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Speaker 1: is actually taught in that language. So right, So UM

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Speaker 1: Spanish or French was an option at this particular school.

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Speaker 1: UM probably would have been a dope experience for Jackson.

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Speaker 1: The school which is too far away from us though

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Speaker 1: for us to even make it feasible on a day

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Speaker 1: to day basis. But I can understand that mindset behind

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Speaker 1: something like that, you know, because I was thinking to myself,

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Speaker 1: the biggest issue I'd probably have with that is how

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Speaker 1: do I assist him with homework if I can't even

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Speaker 1: communicate with my child language that he's learning, you know,

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Speaker 1: was so um learning at a young age. I hear

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Speaker 1: kids are like a sponge. Of course you're going to

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Speaker 1: soak it all up. So we might still have some

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Speaker 1: time some time kids on kidscas and coda, you know,

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Speaker 1: or being able to have somebody like work with us

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Speaker 1: that maybe speaks a different language or something would probably

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Speaker 1: be dope. Um. But for me, it wasn't even just

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Speaker 1: about speaking the language. It was just about getting different

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Speaker 1: perspectives in worldviews. Right. So for example, when we first

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Speaker 1: got there, um, when we first got to Spain, of

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Speaker 1: course people are speaking to me in Spanish, right, And

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Speaker 1: then I was just like, oh, you know Poketo, you

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Speaker 1: know outloo englass right glass American American? Right, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm American. And the first it was like a bang

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Speaker 1: bang bang bang, And I was just like bang bang,

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Speaker 1: and like, just like, you don't you're afraid to send

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Speaker 1: your kids to school? And it was eye opening to

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Speaker 1: me that that's the correlation they made that they thought

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Speaker 1: about with America, is our kids dying in schools. Like

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Speaker 1: that was the first thing they said to me, Like

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Speaker 1: it was like an oh, poor thing, like they felt bad.

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Speaker 1: And then they were asking questions like how do you

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Speaker 1: feel sending your kids to school knowing that that could happen?

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Speaker 1: And this was but Jackson was seven, So that was

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Speaker 1: about four years ago, four years ago, and here we

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Speaker 1: are today, but same issues, same exact issues, which is crazy.

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Speaker 1: But um, for me, it was just about hearing people's

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Speaker 1: perspectives about America. Right. But then also listening to people

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Speaker 1: and of course talking about languages, and some of them

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Speaker 1: just saying, oh, well, I you know, I've lived in

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Speaker 1: France for six months and learned French, you know. But

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Speaker 1: I was born in Italy, so I was born knowing

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Speaker 1: Italian and English, and then I just went to France

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Speaker 1: for six months. And I'm like, in Europe people just

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Speaker 1: go travel places and live there for six months and

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Speaker 1: it's normal for them to get there immersed themselves in

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Speaker 1: the culture, in the language. And I was just like wow,

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Speaker 1: Like for for Americans, we feel like America is to

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Speaker 1: be all that ends, all right, and everyone should just

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Speaker 1: want to be a part of our culture. And we

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Speaker 1: say things like, oh, you know, you're hair in our country,

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Speaker 1: you don't speak English, you know, But then we go

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Speaker 1: to other people's countries and expect them to speak English,

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Speaker 1: you know. And it just made me realize, like how

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Speaker 1: small and narrow minded we are as people when we

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Speaker 1: only exist in the place that we're born. Right. And

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Speaker 1: if you take it even deeper, think about black people.

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Speaker 1: When black people say they travel, right, the first thing

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Speaker 1: they say, especially black people from New York travel go

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Speaker 1: to the Poconos. I've been to Florida. I've been to Florida,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, anywhere along our you know,

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Speaker 1: I go upstate. That is what black people consider traveling.

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Speaker 1: And if you really travel, I took a cruise. You

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Speaker 1: don't take a cruise and go to Bahamas. You know.

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Speaker 1: But when we talk about really traveling the world, it's

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Speaker 1: seeing parts of the world that you would never thought

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Speaker 1: that you wanted to see. For example, I remember when

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Speaker 1: you said I have no intention on on wanting to

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Speaker 1: go to Europe. Yeah, that was true. I actually said

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Speaker 1: this recently, a couple of months ago. I was just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not in a rush to get to Europe.

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Speaker 1: If I get there one day, okay. But for me,

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Speaker 1: being an island girl, I'm like beach me every day.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, how many more islands can you go

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Speaker 1: to into the Caribbean. And I mean one of my

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Speaker 1: bucket list things is to touch every island in the

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Speaker 1: Caribbean at some point. And while on my way as

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Speaker 1: a child um growing up in my household, my mom

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Speaker 1: made it a point every summer that we at least

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Speaker 1: took their you know, my parents like a two week

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Speaker 1: ten days we traveled somewhere. Um. So early on, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I saw an interesting statistic. Um, I'd see if

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Speaker 1: I could pull it up on a break. But pretty

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Speaker 1: much I forget the percentage of Black Americans that don't

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Speaker 1: have a passport, like just don't have a passport at all,

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Speaker 1: much less have traveled. Um. But really early on, my

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Speaker 1: mom wanted to make sure that we were having that

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Speaker 1: experience to go different places and then not just going

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Speaker 1: there as a tourist, I mean to sit and a resort,

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Speaker 1: per se, but being a tourist and going into the

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Speaker 1: actual culture, being with the locals, you know, learning different things,

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Speaker 1: tasting different foods. That was something that you know, my

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Speaker 1: mom exposed to me, My mom and dad exposed me

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Speaker 1: to early on. So to think about not having those

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Speaker 1: experiences as a child, you know, it's just like, wow,

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Speaker 1: there's so much out there. Um. And eventually we had

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to go to Europe recently and being there,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, totally eating my words. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was totally eating my words. It was different. You realize

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Speaker 1: how how culturally different and how we consume their culture

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Speaker 1: through TV and we think it's going to be one way,

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Speaker 1: and then when you get there, it's nothing like what

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Speaker 1: you expected, you know, and I'm pretty sure it's the

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Speaker 1: same thing for then when they come over here. I remember,

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Speaker 1: for my thirty five, we had planned a trip to

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Speaker 1: go to Africa. We're going to Egypt specifically and Cairo specifically.

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Speaker 1: You know, we have a some name kind right now,

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Speaker 1: but I hear remember we ran into to Mika Mallory

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Speaker 1: and she talked about how when she went to Africa

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Speaker 1: completely changed her life. And I can see now when

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Speaker 1: you travel places that you only see on TV and

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Speaker 1: you experience what it really feels like, you then begin

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Speaker 1: to I don't want to say downplay, but you begin

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Speaker 1: to to lose this want to watch TV to experience things.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, like this need to engulf

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Speaker 1: yourself in television or the phone to get your information.

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Speaker 1: It's more like I want to go and that's and

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Speaker 1: you start traveling. That's what happens, you know, when I

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Speaker 1: felt this. Most recently, we have been to a couple

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Speaker 1: of places I could probably just count on one hand

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Speaker 1: right now, places that we've been to where we feel

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Speaker 1: some sort of deeper connection with the space, a reverence,

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Speaker 1: and we felt that when we went to Bob Marley

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Speaker 1: House in Jamaica. UM. And of course we've been to

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Speaker 1: Jamaica several times before, we've been to resorts, we've been

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Speaker 1: out in the country. I've been back to learned it

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Speaker 1: where my mom is from. But so there was something

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Speaker 1: specific about the Bob Marley House and being in that

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Speaker 1: space and that energy. It's something you can't read in

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Speaker 1: a book. It's something you can't see on a TV

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Speaker 1: series or watch on YouTube or even through someone else's perspective.

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Speaker 1: You have to be in that space to understand what

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Speaker 1: that feels like, to see what that connection feels like.

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Speaker 1: UM and more recently down in Birmingham, Alabama. That's that's

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Speaker 1: nothing I'll say to before before we even get to

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Speaker 1: traveling out of the country. There are so many Americans

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Speaker 1: who don't understand American history, right. So we there's this

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Speaker 1: big debate going on in the country about critical race theory. Right,

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Speaker 1: fuck your thoughts on critical race theory. Travel this country

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Speaker 1: and go visit the places that you've never visited before

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Speaker 1: and learn history. You know, you have to call it

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Speaker 1: critical race theory. If you really go research American history

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Speaker 1: and the full history and travel to see places, you

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Speaker 1: don't have to put a title on it. The fact

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Speaker 1: that we're even having to discuss whether or not this

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Speaker 1: is going to be in schools or not, I get it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: history social studies has always been a part of the

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Speaker 1: curriculum of some capacity. But the history is actually right

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Speaker 1: here on our soil. And it was a simple road

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Speaker 1: trip that it took for us to go from Georgia

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Speaker 1: right over to Alabama. Really experienced some actual history that

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Speaker 1: we were able to take the children to that they

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Speaker 1: could see for themselves. That was almost tangible in a

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Speaker 1: sense because they're able to see, for example, Civil Rights

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Speaker 1: Institute in Birmingham, what that looked like, living during that time,

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Speaker 1: walking through that time. That's something that you cannot read

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Speaker 1: in the history book that's going to be you know,

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Speaker 1: dictated through a teacher. This this is something I'm going

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Speaker 1: to quote this phrase. All history cannot be digested digitally.

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Speaker 1: For example, we took our case to the Civil Rights Museum.

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Speaker 1: Jackson has heard about segregation so many times, like he's

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Speaker 1: heard about so you know, I know what segregation it

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Speaker 1: segation is white only, black only. Boom. We get to

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Speaker 1: a point at the Civil Rights Institute where we watch

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Speaker 1: a film on the end of the Civil War and

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Speaker 1: reconstruction and how the city of Birmingham had to pivot

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Speaker 1: from traditional slave labor to iron mining so they can

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Speaker 1: rebuild and become part of the iron industry. So then

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Speaker 1: he starts watching a film on how slaves who didn't

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Speaker 1: migrate west because Western expansion happened, who stayed in the

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Speaker 1: South were still working in the coal mines under the

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Speaker 1: same condition as to slavery, but being giving the lowest

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Speaker 1: ways you can give. Then they talked about how European

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Speaker 1: immigrants came over and was and we're helping slaves, but

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Speaker 1: they weren't considered slaves because they were white European immigrants.

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Speaker 1: But they worked together within the same confines with black

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Speaker 1: slaves all living in shotgun homes. Fourteen fifteen people living

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Speaker 1: in at home that's about a hundred square feet right,

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Speaker 1: Jack and started tear up watching this video. Right then

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Speaker 1: it's over. The screen comes up and it's the opening

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Speaker 1: of two water fountains that you can actually go to.

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Speaker 1: One water fountain was whites only. One water fountain was

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Speaker 1: for colors only and the whites were only. Water fountain

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Speaker 1: was covered in the iron casing. It was refrigerated, so

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Speaker 1: when you hit the button, the water came out cool.

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Speaker 1: The black only or colored only water fountain, the pipes

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Speaker 1: were exposed and rusted, and when you hit the button

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Speaker 1: for the water to come out, it came out warm

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Speaker 1: and slightly rusted. And Jackson broke down because now you

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Speaker 1: get an opportunity to see what segregation was. You don't.

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Speaker 1: You're not reading about it and imagining it. They're actually

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Speaker 1: seeing it. And when you see this crisp, clear cold

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Speaker 1: water next to this this brown warm water, and one

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Speaker 1: says for whites only and one sets for colors only,

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Speaker 1: it's a different experience. Forget calling it critical race theory.

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Speaker 1: This is American history. This is how people lived in

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Speaker 1: America up until the late nineteen sixties. Nineteen sixties. And

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Speaker 1: I think the added layer for Jackson particularly, and we

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Speaker 1: were talking about Jackson mainly because he's old enough to

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Speaker 1: really grasp the concept of what was going on, was

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Speaker 1: the fact that DeVos mom was a part of the

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Speaker 1: first group of children integrated into the public school system.

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Speaker 1: So for him to even think like, oh, my goodness,

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Speaker 1: my grandmother had to endure something like this. My great

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Speaker 1: grandparents grew up in jim Crow South, grew up in

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Speaker 1: jim Crow South. So I think it was all of

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Speaker 1: that compounded with seeing it and being in that space

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Speaker 1: that made him and then eventually all of us really emotional.

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Speaker 1: Um at that time. But it's necessary, absolutely, absolutely necessary,

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Speaker 1: because travel is not just for leisure. Travel is for learning,

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Speaker 1: and it's finding ways to make it fun too. And

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Speaker 1: we went to some nice places. We went to the

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Speaker 1: what was the Museum for Motorcycles um Barbara to the

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Speaker 1: Barbara Museum, Bibo Museum from Motorsports, and the kids had

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Speaker 1: a great time. We went to the Vocant Park with

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Speaker 1: the Vocan Statue where we learned about the iron industry

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Speaker 1: and the contributions that blacks gave. Once again, they would

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Speaker 1: call it critical race theory, but it's American history. It's

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Speaker 1: part of Birmingham history. And when you travel to places

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Speaker 1: to learn about the history, you're pretty much opening your

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Speaker 1: mind and your eyes to things that they might not

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Speaker 1: teach you, and I might not will not teach you

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Speaker 1: in school. That's just in America. Imagine how much history

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Speaker 1: there is to learn world history and how much more

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Speaker 1: perspective you can gain from life if you travel to

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Speaker 1: different places and just see the world differently. Is that

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Speaker 1: you know what I only think the world can exist

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Speaker 1: this way. For example, where a relationship podcast, we talk

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Speaker 1: a lot about relationships, and if you exist in the

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Speaker 1: space where my americanized Western view of what relationships should

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Speaker 1: look like is the only way to exist in the world,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be very critical and judgmental of anybody else

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Speaker 1: who lives a certain way. Then you travel to another

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Speaker 1: country or another part of the world and realize that

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Speaker 1: people exist in a safe, secure, happy setting, living differently

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Speaker 1: than you. It makes your mind go Everything that I've

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Speaker 1: been taught, everything I believe in, has been curated, curated

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Speaker 1: one by your parents, because your parents curate your your

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Speaker 1: concept of life as your child growing up. But then

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Speaker 1: the government curates your idea of what reality is. With

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Speaker 1: all of mainstream media, it doesn't matter whether you watch CNN, Fox,

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Speaker 1: or MSNBC, They're going to give you their curated version

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Speaker 1: of what the world is. And then we curated ourselves

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Speaker 1: with social media. Like we said, when you follow a

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Speaker 1: certain type of people all the time, the algorithm is

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Speaker 1: going to continue to force that same that same demographic

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Speaker 1: or the same ideology to you. So your world becomes

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Speaker 1: very very small. And it's crazy because I think one

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Speaker 1: of the goals I have at least for our children,

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Speaker 1: UM and I think it would be great if a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have this perspective. In raising a little

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Speaker 1: as i'd like to say, global citizens or as a

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Speaker 1: citizen of America, raising a global citizen, UM, you then

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Speaker 1: develop I think, more tolerance for people. You develop a

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Speaker 1: lot more respect for people. UM. And I think that

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Speaker 1: just having that broad perspective in general just allows you

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Speaker 1: to exist in the better I think mental and physical

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Speaker 1: space altogether, because it gives you such a greater appreciation

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Speaker 1: for a the things that you have at home, wherever

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Speaker 1: that is, and then seeing people in the world live

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Speaker 1: different ways, people who may have less than you have.

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Speaker 1: It really just broadens that perspective. And I think it

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Speaker 1: should also along with the tolerance that it builds for others,

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Speaker 1: UM and the respect, but also just a greater appreciation

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Speaker 1: for the things that you do have. UM. And that's

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Speaker 1: what I think our aim is as parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: hoping to have those experiences for our children. I think

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Speaker 1: it was great when we had the chance to have

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Speaker 1: a little bit of virtual learning, because it gave us

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to move around a little bit once the

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Speaker 1: pandemic kind of lightened up. Um, I can see why

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Speaker 1: some people choose to homeschool their children, and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to work off of a school schedule where they're

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Speaker 1: you know, limited to being within a school setting, you know,

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Speaker 1: for hours on end, for certain weeks at a time,

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Speaker 1: and only give spring break or summertime to travel. Um.

429
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: I really understand now, and I'm kind of warming up

430
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: to the idea of possibly, you know, teaching our children

431
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: outside of the traditional classroom and making the world the classroom.

432
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 1: There was something that you said just now that kind

433
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: of Um, it made me. It made me want to

434
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: make a point. Um, you talked about tolerance, right, and

435
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: we're living in a time now, especially because of social

436
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: media and coming off of where we were supposed to

437
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 1: be at a racial impasse. Right, was it supposed to

438
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: be like a racial revolution where people were supposed to

439
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,160
Speaker 1: understand what's happening now in the world because of Black

440
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: Lives Matter and George Floyd and Brianna and everything that's

441
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 1: happening seems like every uh, two decades, something happens. Right.

442
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: For for us growing up in the nineties, which were

443
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: making three decades, it was Rodney King, right, and then

444
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: you know, after Rodney King, there was who was a

445
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 1: young man that was Trayvon Martin's. There's always something about

446
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,040
Speaker 1: a decade or a decade and a half that comes along,

447
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: and people always ask the same questions, how do things

448
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 1: like this happen? Why are things like this happening? As

449
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: if it's just a random act of racism, you know

450
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, as if like why does this happen?

451
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: And it even happens with with sexism at times, and

452
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: you know, why why did this happen? Or why don't

453
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: women make a certain amount of money as men. In

454
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: order for you to really answer those questions or be

455
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: able to answer those questions, you have to understand history,

456
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 1: and you have to travel right. And when we travel

457
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:51,479
Speaker 1: to Birmingham, Jackson and I were talking about race because

458
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: we were talking about the iron industry and how they

459
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: had to pivot after reconstruction. So then he said to me,

460
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: he said, the Daddy, what I don't understand is, right,

461
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: why why do black people why why are black people

462
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 1: treated this way, Is it just because we're black? Like

463
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 1: do they just hate us because of the color of

464
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: our skin? And I said, see that question. Is that

465
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: is what people are missing when you answer the question,

466
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,120
Speaker 1: because no, Jackson, that's not the reason why. For example,

467
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,919
Speaker 1: if someone hates you now, is not going to just

468
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: be because of the color of your skin. There have

469
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,199
Speaker 1: been ideologies that have been indoctrinated in that person, especially

470
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: if they're your age, that come from years and years

471
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: of programming from history in this country. For example, M

472
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 1: Edward A. Pollard created uh. He wrote a book called

473
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: The Lost Cause, and the Lost Cause was pretty much

474
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: a book about how um the Confederacy down in America

475
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 1: is was supposed to save America from the big bad

476
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: black man, right. And that ideology continued with Margaret Rutherford

477
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,439
Speaker 1: who wrote this book on how to prepare children in

478
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 1: America for American History, and they was this part of

479
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: her book was called the Sisterhood of the Clan and

480
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: it was a bunch of clans men's daughters who decided

481
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:17,199
Speaker 1: that they were going to rewrite American history so that

482
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 1: it showed white people and white superiority as the reason

483
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 1: why America was able to prosper So when I'm explaining

484
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: this to Jackson, I said, so, imagine all those people.

485
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,719
Speaker 1: And you were there for this moment, I said, imagine

486
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: all of these people. On top of that, you have

487
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 1: a movie called Birth of the Nation as the first

488
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 1: movie played in the White House, and it's a white

489
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 1: man dressed up in black face and the kul Klux

490
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: Klan comes and saves America from the big bad black man.

491
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 1: Then you have all of these stereotypes and these tropes,

492
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: and and you have all of the coonery happening with

493
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 1: black face, where they're showing black people in a dumb manner.

494
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: It's programming of years and years of them saying black

495
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 1: people are dumb, black people aren't deserving of being a

496
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 1: part of this country, and we have to save them

497
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: from themselves. It perpetuates itself in rap music and in

498
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: TV and in film. So you have four hundred years

499
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: of the same messaging being delivered to young white people.

500
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: And then you say yourself, well, why does this white

501
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: why does this young man feel like he has to

502
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: drive up to Buffalo, for example, and shoot up uh

503
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,479
Speaker 1: grocery store full of black people? And they said, well,

504
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: if you understand American history, and you understand that these

505
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 1: young people have been taught from young to hate us

506
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 1: because they feel like we're stealing their country. Right, you

507
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 1: don't agree with them, you understand their mindset, so you

508
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: know how to move accordingly. So it's like, how am

509
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 1: I going to teach my kids? Right? How can we

510
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: change the messaging so that it so that it changes

511
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: in a way where the future doesn't look like how

512
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 1: we live now or the past that doesn't happen without history,

513
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: and history is best taught when you travel. I guarantee

514
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 1: if you take any young person black, white, Hispanic, uh,

515
00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:00,440
Speaker 1: Latin x Asian to see what segregation look, I can

516
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: guarantee you that young person will will grow up and

517
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,480
Speaker 1: say that's not fair. You know, basically down to the

518
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 1: fact that there is not fair, the fact that only

519
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: certain people got a chance to use that and other

520
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 1: people had to use this, that's not fair. But what

521
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: it also does is it teaches you tolerance for young

522
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: people who were brought up with the wrong history and

523
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: brought up to be ignorant on purpose. It teaches you

524
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 1: tolerance so that you don't walk around with this self

525
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: hatred saying I hate that I'm black, because I live

526
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: in the world that people hate me because I'm black. No,

527
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: I'm tolerant enough to understand that you're ignorant to your

528
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: own history, so you hate me for reasons that you

529
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: don't even you don't even know exactly. I think that's

530
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: the biggest part. It's just it's just the passing down

531
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: of It's like a recipe. You passed down the recipe

532
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: for a particular dish, and it's just like, Okay, this

533
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: dish after a while needs a little doctoring up, right,

534
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: And that's exactly where it is. And I'm wondering, and

535
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: I feel as though generations starting maybe from us and

536
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: then generation after, I think there's a little bit more

537
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: of a desire to want to learn those things. And

538
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: I feel like the instances that we've had recently, for example,

539
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,239
Speaker 1: the shooting in Buffalo, the young man that went down

540
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: to the church and shot up the church with the

541
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: parishioners he prayed with, Like those couple of instances, I'm wondering,

542
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: like if they were exposed to something a little bit different,

543
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: if they had a little bit more you know, history,

544
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: if they had some more facts, like they were not

545
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 1: within the bubble that they insisted in would something in

546
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,480
Speaker 1: their mind have said, you know what, this ship ain't

547
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: right right, This ship is just not right right. That's

548
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: that's the whole point. The point is you get into it,

549
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 1: you begin to have empathy for people who are brought

550
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: up a certain way, but that it also makes you

551
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: challenge yourself and said, I wonder what I've been brought

552
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 1: up traditionally that is wrong, you know, or what mindset

553
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 1: that I did I learned that has been passed down

554
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: from people who live in this same proximity that are

555
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 1: teaching me things that are bigot trid or all that

556
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: are that are bigotry, or that the teaching me hatred

557
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: for other people. And it makes you open your mind

558
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: just that you know what, before I attack or condemn

559
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: or judge someone, let me at least try to understand

560
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: their perspective. And traveling will humble you because when you

561
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: get to a place where you don't know something, you

562
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: feel small and you can't speak because you don't know

563
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 1: anything that you're seeing, and you're forced to listen. You

564
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: do that with young people and you take them around

565
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: and see not just your country, but the world, and

566
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: you'll see a way more tolerant group of people who

567
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: can live more harmoniously because I noticed a lot of

568
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: people that I've met that travel do a lot less

569
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: talking and a lot more listening because they realize that

570
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: I'm not in a safe space where I can just

571
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: speak my words and everyone has to listen. I don't know,

572
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: I don't know everyone around me. I don't know. This

573
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: is let me just listen. You know What's been kind

574
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,719
Speaker 1: of interesting and rather impactful for me recently, even just

575
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:02,239
Speaker 1: with this Birmingham trip, that we took the lack of

576
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: knowledge amongst blacks, UM, specifically blacks from the Caribbean or

577
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: just Carebean people in general when it comes to black

578
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,320
Speaker 1: American or just American history, and we did a podcast

579
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: on that, I think it was the Culture Class episodes UM,

580
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: and just talking about how even my family, my parents

581
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 1: didn't even understand American history and the way blacks were

582
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:33,239
Speaker 1: treated because that never really existed within the Caribbean. So,

583
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 1: for example, my mom being from Jamaica, she has experienced

584
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: maybe colorism and things like that, but actual racism, she said,

585
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: never was really a thing down in Jamaica. So it

586
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: was nice to bring her along as well too, so

587
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: she can kind of understand why sometimes you're a little

588
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: bit more forceful about the way you feel and why

589
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: you're so adamant about making sure that our four boys

590
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: who are going to grow up to be for black

591
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 1: men in America understand the systemic in the systematic ways

592
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: they may potentially be oppressed for years to come, which

593
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: we hope things will be a little different by then.

594
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 1: But as history shows, and I will say that your

595
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 1: mom over the past three years that she's lived with us,

596
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,480
Speaker 1: I remember when she first moved in with us. She

597
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: moved in with us in the end of two and

598
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 1: at the time I was making videos about my feelings

599
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 1: and thoughts on it, and she was concerned, like and

600
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: she was like, devout, why do you feel this way?

601
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until I explained to her the history

602
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 1: and what my mom had been through. Like it's it's

603
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: easy to say, you know what, that was so long ago,

604
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: but then when you have to look someone in the

605
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: face and be like, wait a minute, you were chased

606
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: out of Marine Park with by bats and chains as

607
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: a young girl because integration started. Yeah, that's my mom.

608
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: So yes, it matters enough to me, and that there's

609
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: there's nothing in this world. That's gonna make me stop

610
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: speaking on my black experience because I have to have

611
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 1: an allegiance and an alliance first to my blackness, because

612
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 1: that's who I am when I wake up, you know.

613
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 1: So I can't have any allegiance to a brand or

614
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: allegiance to a studio or to a producer who saying,

615
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: don't say this. I have to have an allegiance to

616
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: myself first, and allegiance to my sons and my wife. Absolutely.

617
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 1: And I think your mom over time has learned like wow,

618
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: there is a lot of history here that I didn't know,

619
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: and that's why it's important for you to say it.

620
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: But even watching her at the museum, your mom is

621
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: what sixty seven don't age that woman, your mom. But

622
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: I even saw her going through the museum and looking

623
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: and being being overwhelmed at times like wow, like that's

624
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: this is I didn't know this. And you're never too

625
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: old to travel, never too young to travel, and you're

626
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: never too old to travel. That's a fact. That's a fact.

627
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: So this experience is the best teacher when it comes

628
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: to learning about different cultures, history, people. Traveling and going

629
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: straight to the stories is definitely the best way to

630
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 1: get there and beyond learning in the ways of the world,

631
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 1: traveling has actually proven to expand your mind and also

632
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 1: stimulate better mental and physical health. I think that's a

633
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: great statistic because I know I feel a hell of

634
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: a lot better when I am traveling in a way

635
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: and getting some time. Whether you go to share, that's

636
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 1: why you feel better. I mean, there's certain trips for

637
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: certain things, so that I likes to joke about the

638
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 1: fact that whenever we go on vacation, I have an

639
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: itinerary and I don't like to sleep in, and I

640
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 1: don't trust me. There's times and I go away on

641
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: vacation and the purpose of that is to sleep in

642
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: and to relax, and that to be that? When is that?

643
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: Because I haven't experienced that in twenty years? Did you

644
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: let me know when that experience? Me? And my girl

645
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: tip bone that well, Tiff Burkett. Now she travels with

646
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: me and we lay down and we vegg out. And

647
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 1: so how come I get that? Why I got to

648
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: be up at seven thirty in the morning slapping freaking

649
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: sun based around you like a turkey. Well, I learned

650
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 1: how to do that myself. Now I'll let you sleep

651
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: in and get your sleep. We learned how to vacation amicably,

652
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: I think you and I, UM, but yeah, But then

653
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: there's also those they're going to be those UM trips,

654
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: particularly with the kids that I know, I plan to

655
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 1: plan as ay the world opens back up again, We're

656
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: we're gonna have itineraries for the day, and we're going

657
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 1: to be in a new place and we're going to

658
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 1: be exploring, and we're gonna be learning, and we're gonna

659
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: be hiking, and we're gonna be doing all the things.

660
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: UM research shows that sevent people get some form of

661
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: health benefit when taking a vacation. So whether that's just

662
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 1: clocking out, stress relief, stress relief, taking time away, change

663
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 1: of environment, there's so many things. I think the list

664
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: can go on where I think that's safe to say

665
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: that that's a pretty accurate statistic. I mean the health,

666
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: the health. What I think, especially for the stress relief

667
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 1: is when you see the world differently, you start to

668
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: realize how minisule your problems maybe facts wherever you are.

669
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,399
Speaker 1: Like if you have the ability to travel and take

670
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: a vacation, typically that's a reminder that you're doing okay

671
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 1: in life right that you can actually take that time, right,

672
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 1: you can take time. But also it's like when you

673
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: see the world and you realize that, man, these things

674
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: that I was stressed complaining about really not that big

675
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: a deal. Sometimes you need to see that, you know,

676
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 1: let me stop tripping about this guy that own me

677
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: this thirty dollars, because really not that. At some point

678
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 1: I get my thirty dollars for sure. Um. Traveling is

679
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 1: good for relationships. People stated that their connection with their

680
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: loved one improved during the vacation. That be us. We

681
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 1: talked about it a lot, and I think it's just

682
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: a matter of just being able to disconnect and attached,

683
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 1: knowing that, Okay, we have these seven days where we're

684
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 1: not going to be working, we're not going to be

685
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 1: doing anything but reconnecting with each other. Um, and you'll

686
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:40,839
Speaker 1: be rubbing me down with oils, oils, all that rubbing down.

687
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: That's what it started. Starts with the cheeks and wants

688
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 1: to start with. You got to push the cheeks together,

689
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: rub it down, slap it, flip it, turn it over

690
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 1: us baker man over here baking some cakes. People are

691
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,319
Speaker 1: thirty percent more likely to have a heart attack if

692
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 1: they go five years without a vacation. What I ain't

693
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 1: gonna remember that spend where we first got back from

694
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,399
Speaker 1: the league and we didn't take no vacations for four

695
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: years was giving heart attack. It was definitely get That

696
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 1: was the hardest part of our marriage that we realized

697
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,280
Speaker 1: because we was going on vacation. We were literally grinding

698
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: looking at the same stop walls every single day. Intended. Yeah,

699
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: literally just no. Just because we said we just got

700
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: married and monogamy, it just made sense. Word, Well, these

701
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 1: walls look the same. They might have been painted, they

702
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 1: might have get a little wall paper and your walls, baby,

703
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,960
Speaker 1: you know what I'm trying to say. No, I'm saying

704
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: that the walls can be different, you know, and change

705
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: up your walls. How you do that, that's how you

706
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: need to change. You need to teach people. And that's

707
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: that's a trick you got. You can't give away my secrets,

708
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 1: and see how I can't give it with my secrets.

709
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 1: Of US citizens agree that after they've traveled, they've noticed

710
00:37:56,360 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 1: a significant drop in stress. I agree. Women who go

711
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: on vacation twice a year are less likely to get

712
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 1: depressed or chronic stress. Men are more at risk for

713
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 1: heart disease. And have higher sudden depth risks if they

714
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 1: don't take a yearly vacaby. You got to clock out,

715
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,840
Speaker 1: clock out. This is gonna be here when we get back,

716
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 1: clock out when we get back. Facts. How many times

717
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 1: have you in a job, for example, been in a

718
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 1: work setting you have a coworker that you've grown to like,

719
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: and you guys are all cool and then poor, you know,

720
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 1: coworker passes away, their job description is on. Indeed by

721
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: the end of that business day, baby, their interviewing the

722
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 1: next day. So you better take your time off. Don't

723
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: be worried about these jobs that. Don't be worried about you,

724
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 1: your disposable, your cleenics, your tissue. Ultimately, she's so dramatic.

725
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: That's a fact to make sure. If you're gonna take vacations,

726
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: you do it accordingly. I don't be out here running

727
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 1: the streets listening to cadi okay, because don't be stressed

728
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 1: about bills, y'all. Balance. Balance, that's the name of the game.

729
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,399
Speaker 1: Six eight percent of people stated that they are more

730
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 1: positive after returning from vacation. I can see that you

731
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 1: just refreshed, and when taking a vacation, you're exposed to

732
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: different environments, which in turn boosts your immune system and

733
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:29,959
Speaker 1: create stronger antibodies to be on the nasty as planes. Baby, yeah,

734
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: you still wipe down, y'all. See it. I was wiping

735
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 1: down and I was wearing my mask. She was before COVID.

736
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: She was wearing her masks on the plane down. I

737
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: was looking at she was crazy, absolutely, and then it

738
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 1: became a way of life, unfortunately. But I just know

739
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to protect my immune system because it

740
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 1: can be a little hairy when you're traveling a lot. Right,

741
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,919
Speaker 1: all right. Six ways traveling helps you to grow stimulates

742
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 1: interc intercultural communication skills. Like we said, people of different

743
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: cultures have different ways of communicating, whether it's verbally through language, nonverbal,

744
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: through traditions, um actions, behavior, GARB. So when you travel

745
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 1: and immerse yourself in another culture, you learn and you'll

746
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: teach how to respectfully communicate with other people who are

747
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 1: different from you. We said, your spain um scenario. And

748
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 1: I just can't wait to get to a lot of

749
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: couple of players. There's a couple of places on my

750
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,799
Speaker 1: bucket list that I'm like, drop me off in there

751
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: in the culture, because I want to be I want

752
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: to be with y'all want to be immersed in the culture. First,

753
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 1: in the culture I want to I want to be

754
00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 1: able to sell it was a world traveler. I want

755
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: to be able to go to a country and no

756
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: matter what the language is, what the people are being

757
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:42,359
Speaker 1: able to because there are universal ways that people communicate

758
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: and if you only exist in your bubble, you'll never

759
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: learn these universal ways to communicate with people. And if

760
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 1: you find yourself in a different country, you'll be lost.

761
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you, if you've never travel anywhere and

762
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: been lost, you feel like this. You feel like an aunt.

763
00:40:55,880 --> 00:41:00,080
Speaker 1: You feel like the smallest, most insignificant little being this

764
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 1: huge planet. And it's not a good feeling. It's really

765
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: really not a good feeling. So I employ all you

766
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: guys to just get out there and learn how to

767
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: communicate with people outside of being on your phone. Stop

768
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: experiencing the world digitally. Yes, And also to that sounds

769
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: almost like a moment of truth. That's a good one. Um.

770
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 1: Do your research too before you go places, because sometimes

771
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: things that we think are universal within our bubble is

772
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 1: not and you may end up offending or disrespect to somebody.

773
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:25,920
Speaker 1: So I like to do my research before I go

774
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,959
Speaker 1: to a new place to kind of know what is, like,

775
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 1: what's the deal. You know what's what's acceptable and what's not.

776
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 1: Doing research before you travel is for safety, Like that's

777
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 1: huge safe. I think you can wear whatever you want

778
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 1: to wear or speak of you want to speak or

779
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 1: not engage in the same traditions. Like you know, some

780
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 1: places you go and travel, they bow, some places they

781
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 1: shake hands, some places they don't. And you don't want

782
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: to offend someone by saying I'm an American, You're supposed

783
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 1: to do things the way I do things. That's the

784
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: worst thing you could ever do. Traveling absolutely, Um, replace

785
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: the stereotypes with facts. This is a good one. The

786
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: things we think people know about other countries and their

787
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 1: people are often colored by information, stereotypes, and ignorance. When

788
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: you travel, you're able to experience the true nature of

789
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: the communities that you engage with, and you have the

790
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:17,320
Speaker 1: experience with individuals that help you to not generalize overall.

791
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 1: So yep, that's kind of straightforward. UM challenges your opinions

792
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 1: and worldviews. Travel can alter and challenge once fixed opinions

793
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 1: about the introduction of new in information. It also has

794
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: the ability to encourage oneself to research and learn more

795
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 1: about what they believe, creating more educated and more open perspective.

796
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: I think that is very um true with someone who's

797
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 1: maybe in search of like religion for example, and say

798
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: that you've been taught a particular religion or religion, particularly denomination.

799
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,600
Speaker 1: I've known people who have traveled to other places and

800
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,240
Speaker 1: they lived somewhere for six to ten months to twelve

801
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,799
Speaker 1: months and have decided that, you know what, I found

802
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 1: God in a different way and space in a different area, um,

803
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 1: and then have converted, you know, whether it was from

804
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: Christianity to becoming Muslim or you know, vice versa. So

805
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: that's also a really good way I think to just

806
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 1: expand overall. If you're in search of something, um, if

807
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: you're in search of self, if you're in searching of

808
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 1: peace and where everyone who wakes up in the morning

809
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: is always in search. Like you know, the statement that

810
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 1: you all lost that goes for everybody, that's like the

811
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 1: realist statement, you want to know why we are all

812
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 1: searching for this mystical, esoteric, magical place called happily ever

813
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 1: after and peace? Right, Like what does it look like?

814
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: And everyone searches for it through different ways they search

815
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 1: for it through religion, they search for through fitness, they

816
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 1: search for through love. Some people search for through vices.

817
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: And I feel like traveling gives you way more options

818
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: to figure out what peace looks like for you. What

819
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: if you can't find peace in the environment you're existing in,

820
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: what if in your mind? Because because a lot of

821
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:02,800
Speaker 1: people feel like this, Well, I was born in Brooklyn,

822
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: I was raised in Brooklyn. I'm gonna live in Brooklyn.

823
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die in Brooklyn. But that for a long time,

824
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: this is crazy part. My parents used to try to

825
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 1: take us to travel. I never once felt like Brooklyn

826
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: was going to be the place where I spent my

827
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 1: entire life. Never. When I was young, it was as

828
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 1: simple as going to Morristown, Tennessee. And we used to

829
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 1: drive thirteen hours from Brooklyn, New York to Morristown, Tennessee

830
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: to visit my grandparents. R I P. Papa Charles Edward

831
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,320
Speaker 1: Ellison and shout out to my NAMEA Della May Perry Ellis.

832
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: But um, just driving on the road and looking out

833
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: the window and passing some of these places and seeing

834
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: like little houses of places we passed Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Virginia.

835
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: I always said to myself, I wonder whether it would

836
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: be like to live in one of these towns. And

837
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: I was a kid, Imagine having that experience where you're

838
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 1: getting on planes and you're going to different countries, different

839
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 1: places around the world. Imagine like, imagine Jackson being eleven

840
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: years old and going to see the Parry his idea

841
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: in his mind of what the world is not going

842
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 1: to stop now with American views, you know, he might

843
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: grow up and say, I think I might want to

844
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: live in Africa. Have you ever heard of people say

845
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 1: that their spirit or their soul aligns with a certain

846
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 1: place or in a certain place. I think that's a

847
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: very true thing for sure. Um, you know, I think

848
00:45:21,239 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: I guess I misspoke earlier saying I think it's my

849
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: pride for Brooklyn that made me feel like I never

850
00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 1: want to leave Brooklyn. But I did always envision myself

851
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 1: possibly being a couple of different places, you know. And

852
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: it's funny because I think about just even like my parents,

853
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: for example, who you know, worked hard, came up to America,

854
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 1: created a life for us, started in Brooklyn, and it's

855
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,479
Speaker 1: just like, I don't know if it's sentimental attachment or

856
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: it's just that idea that once I have my house

857
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: and I own my house, this is my house and

858
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 1: I'm not moving, like I just have it and I

859
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 1: have to stay here. And it's us now trying to

860
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: let our parents generation know, like it's okay to pick

861
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 1: up and move and try somewhere else, and like the

862
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 1: house that you were in does not have to be

863
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 1: the house that you're gonna die in, you know, just

864
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 1: because that was the first house you bought, um properly,

865
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: just an investment, first investment towards the future. I think

866
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: spiritual alignment with a place is definitely a real thing,

867
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: and you can only experience that. I know for sure

868
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: they're traveling. Y m hmm, I know. Um speaking on

869
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: the housing thing. You know, especially in our culture, in

870
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: Black American culture, which is different than Caribbean uh culture,

871
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: but Black American culture, when you got property, you kept

872
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: the property in the house. I mean you kept the

873
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,279
Speaker 1: property in the family. No, under no circumstance do you

874
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: sell the home. Because the home is where someone so

875
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,479
Speaker 1: raised these kids, and what you do is you raise

876
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 1: your kids here the next generation. So it was a

877
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 1: way for you to have ownership and say this was yours.

878
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:46,120
Speaker 1: It was a pride thing because you remember, blacks were

879
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 1: not allowed to own things in this country for so long.

880
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 1: Once you owned the property, you wanted to keep, you know,

881
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 1: keep it in the family. But what people fail to

882
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 1: realize is that that property is not just supposed to

883
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,800
Speaker 1: be something that stays in the family. It's an asset,

884
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: an asset that generate more assets if you move accordingly.

885
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 1: So for example, if you brought that property in the

886
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,839
Speaker 1: fifties for thirty thou dollars, but now it's a brownstone

887
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 1: with three million dollars, don't get upset at your grandkids

888
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 1: for wanting to sell grandma's house. Now you have three

889
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 1: million dollars. There's there's ten grandkids. Each grandkids gets three

890
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars. And what you do is you didn't

891
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,480
Speaker 1: go buy ten more properties, and now you have ten

892
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:26,840
Speaker 1: properties that you had the three hundred thousand that you

893
00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 1: can use as a down payment and all of your

894
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: own million dollar properties and then you can travel. And seriously,

895
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 1: that's what the property is supposed to be for. And

896
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: I think it's important for people to realize that because

897
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: we've seen that with your parents, you've seen that with

898
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: my parents from your parents own beautiful property. I'm not

899
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 1: gonna say on what street, but beautiful properties and million

900
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: dollar property. Your dad never wanted to let this property go.

901
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 1: This just for my kids, for my kids. We had

902
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 1: to explain to him, like, Pops, it's for your kids.

903
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: Let your kids get the equity out of the property

904
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: that you held on in main team for so long ago.

905
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 1: They can go out and get more property for their kids.

906
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 1: And it took him a while, but then he was

907
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: just like, right, we have to wait for death or

908
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 1: things like the tragic to happen to them decide what

909
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: are we gonna do with these assets? If the opportunity

910
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 1: presents itself, it's like you've done your work. I'm super

911
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,879
Speaker 1: proud of my parents who were able to come here

912
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,959
Speaker 1: and do the things that they've done to be able

913
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: to afford us these opportunities. So while we have the

914
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: chance to make something of it, why not. And you

915
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 1: can see the see that come to fruition. You know,

916
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: you don't have to wait till you're gone for us

917
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 1: to say, all right, well, now finally we could just

918
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: divvy this up because it's a source of income. Will

919
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 1: now have My parents did the same thing they had

920
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: they had a property in Virginia. Well they had they

921
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 1: had land in Virginia that they bought a long time ago,

922
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 1: and they just didn't want to sell it because we

923
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 1: have this land, we need to build a house on

924
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: this land. But it's like, what if you don't want

925
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 1: to live in Virginia, just gonna hold onto the property exactly,

926
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: just to say we have it. Use the property as

927
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 1: an asset so you can gain more assets. Yeah, but

928
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 1: that's a whole different podcast. I'll just when you brought

929
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: up the property, Yeah, I just wanted to make sure

930
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: of people understood. Now I get it. You know the

931
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 1: value of that. And now, exchanging your mind and your

932
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: ideas of what money looks like can can change your

933
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,160
Speaker 1: view of what your life is supposed to look. Well,

934
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: think about it, because a lot of people will probably say, hey,

935
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 1: I just don't have the funds to travel, you know,

936
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: and that too is very limiting and that can feel

937
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 1: like it's just you're you're trapped because you may not

938
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:23,720
Speaker 1: have the funds to do it. So the money lessons

939
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: and the financial talk is always good to kind of

940
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 1: filter into these because it'll give you an avenue to say, hey,

941
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: if I'm doing X y Z with my assets and

942
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 1: my investments and my my funds. Then it frees up

943
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:37,120
Speaker 1: this for me to be able to have that money

944
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 1: to be able to travel, because you're gonna need that

945
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:45,760
Speaker 1: for sure. Um established long lasting bonds. So experiencing deep moments,

946
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 1: inspiring conversations, difficult scenarios creates lasting bonds. Think about you

947
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: and Jackson in Spain together after that experience of being lost,

948
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: meeting people with similar interests or seeing someone are seeing

949
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: yourself in p people, traditions, and cultures in a new

950
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: place can create a deep connection that you may want

951
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,840
Speaker 1: to return later. Just like we said, feeling that spiritual

952
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:12,880
Speaker 1: connection somewhere develops patients. So with travel often comes situations

953
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 1: that are just difficult. They're unpredictable, like getting lost in Madrid,

954
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 1: ass getting dog outside there unpredictable, and there's sometimes unfamiliar.

955
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 1: So as you work through these situations, you strike think

956
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: your ability to be patient, vulnerable, problem solving, reil calm,

957
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:32,479
Speaker 1: all that staying calm and as you right. It's funny

958
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,799
Speaker 1: because they say whenever you're like your hood is not

959
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: going to be the same as somebody else's hub. But

960
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 1: usually when we're in a hood. There's like a familiar

961
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 1: you know, you keep your handle swivel. All right, you

962
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,719
Speaker 1: watch this entrance. I'm watching that exist. You know, you

963
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 1: know how to move accordingly because listen, things can get

964
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 1: the very scantly, very fast fun things. I made a

965
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:56,400
Speaker 1: joke about the movie Taking, but there is a reality

966
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: in the movie Taking in that when you exist in

967
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 1: the bubble, and that bubble that that's been curated by

968
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 1: your parents is very safe and very secure, and you

969
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 1: know everybody, you know, everything, you think the world is

970
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: the same as the bubble you live in. Remember his

971
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 1: daughter was just like, Yeah, I'm just going to this

972
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:14,279
Speaker 1: concert and we're gonna stay. And then she gets to

973
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: the place and there's men they're waiting to take away.

974
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 1: When you travel and you're forced to be uncomfortable, it

975
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:23,959
Speaker 1: heightens your awareness. That heightened awareness allows you to move

976
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: differently because you're uncomfortable. And when you're more aware, you

977
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,440
Speaker 1: start to notice things and pick things up. And I

978
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 1: think the best part of being a H. Brooklyn Knight

979
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 1: was that you could never be comfortable traveling on mass transportations.

980
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 1: When you're on that B six at eight two, that

981
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: a train, that three train, you cannot be comfortable because

982
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: there's so many exits, there's so many people. You have

983
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 1: to be aware to this day, I could be walking

984
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 1: anywhere and I'm like, you see that guy over there

985
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 1: with the red hat and you you need to be like where.

986
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, you didn't see him when you're watching? I said, yeah,

987
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 1: I noticed everything. He could pass by here two times

988
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: and I don't know where he come up and he'll

989
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 1: be like, hey, I just want you guys. Are the

990
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 1: ellis is right? And I'm like, yeah, I saw you

991
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,439
Speaker 1: staring at us from over there about the I didn't

992
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 1: want to be a creep and follow you, but you've

993
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 1: been following. I don't want to follow you, but come

994
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:15,120
Speaker 1: out with me, sir. Luck you came up and spoke

995
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 1: because he was about to get jabbed in a minute

996
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 1: because I saw you follow us. That happened to us

997
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: twice in the airport. Yeah, but it's just, you know,

998
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: being a Brooklyn that kind of teaches you how to

999
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,839
Speaker 1: have your spidy senses. That's a fact. We're never gonna

1000
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 1: lose those and build confidence. When visiting a place that

1001
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 1: you've never been to before, you show yourself a good time.

1002
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: It could be a challenge, but as you build your itinderary,

1003
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 1: you shake some fear off the unknown. Look at me,

1004
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to trip Advisor, this one, that one, all

1005
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 1: of them. I'm checking reviews. I wanted where to go? Fool?

1006
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 1: Does that all that? Use your communication skills to navigate

1007
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 1: in an unfamiliar language and culture, your confidence and ability,

1008
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:50,840
Speaker 1: it is inevitable point to grow for sure. Al Right, cool,

1009
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 1: So I think we should take a quick break. We

1010
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 1: could definitely have to get into listening or someone to

1011
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 1: give enough time for that. So let's get into some

1012
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 1: apps and we'll be right back. All right, We're bad guys, yes, sir,

1013
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 1: we are bad. Favorite part of the show, Yes, it

1014
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 1: is this first one because to say, yo, d um,

1015
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: all right, let's go what's going on to valent Codeine? So,

1016
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: d I need you to keep it a buck with

1017
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 1: me on this one because I'm about to be extremely

1018
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 1: vulnerable right now. Okay, appreciate that I'm having so much

1019
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 1: trouble with infidelity in my marriage. It ain't even funny.

1020
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 1: I cannot, or rather won't stop pulling women. I'm embarrassed,

1021
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 1: I'm ashamed, I feel like a failure and like I've

1022
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 1: never I'll never come up out of this slump. My

1023
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:54,040
Speaker 1: urgent desire for pussy is far beyond what I feel

1024
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 1: like I can control. And you know what the crazy

1025
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: thing is, I'm never satisfied sex. It's not even the

1026
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 1: same no more. I look at every woman like a challenge.

1027
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 1: I was molested when I was a kid by my brother.

1028
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: I don't know what that did to me or if

1029
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:09,920
Speaker 1: that's the cause of these strong ass urges, but it happened.

1030
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: I've been sex addicted for quite some time now, and

1031
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm also addicted to pouring heavy, like masturbate four or

1032
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 1: five times a day while and I have a beautiful

1033
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 1: wife right there shaking my head, But lately we've been

1034
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,400
Speaker 1: having problems without sex life too. I feel like she

1035
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 1: lacks passion, and most times it feels like I'm the

1036
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: one the only one into it. Well, if you're masturbating

1037
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 1: four or five times a day, bro is a good

1038
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,360
Speaker 1: chance that you're probably coming at her a lot. She

1039
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: probably can't handle that. That's why you feel like you're

1040
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: the only one trying. She's been trying. I gotta get

1041
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 1: her that, but the problem still lingers. I also always

1042
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,439
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not wanted or her attention is somewhere else,

1043
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 1: even though I'm always doing things to eat her mind

1044
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,359
Speaker 1: and take things off of the to do list that's

1045
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: never ending. Nevertheless, that's not an excuse for why cheat.

1046
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 1: I have none. I'm telling you this because I just

1047
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:57,600
Speaker 1: need to know if I'm the only man out here

1048
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 1: going through these kind of problems, and I need to

1049
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: hear it from somebody who has been there where I'm

1050
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 1: at and got out of it, because at this point,

1051
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: I'm about to lose my family. Bro, I don't want

1052
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,240
Speaker 1: a divorce. I love my wife, but pussy is winning

1053
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 1: right now. So many more beautiful women out there besides

1054
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 1: my wife, and they'd be wanting an find this hell too, bro,

1055
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 1: fantasy type chicks man like before, And I'm a regular

1056
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 1: ass nigga. I'm just keeping it a buck, bro. So

1057
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering, man, if you ever want if you

1058
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: ever went through what I'm going through with infidelity, porn

1059
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,399
Speaker 1: addiction and women flirting with you and the whole nine,

1060
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:34,080
Speaker 1: and how do you handle being faithful and staying true

1061
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 1: not doing it and running away? Seems so much easier

1062
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 1: said than done when I'm when I've been giving myself

1063
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 1: whatever I wanted when I wanted four years now. So

1064
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:47,120
Speaker 1: now when it comes time to say no or stay disciplined,

1065
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 1: I just had this conversation. You heard me having this

1066
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,800
Speaker 1: conversation when we were at the twenty nine event. Un bothered.

1067
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,760
Speaker 1: I give it to my desires and do it anyway,

1068
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 1: even when I know it's against the will of God.

1069
00:55:58,120 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: I want my spot in the Kingdom of heaven, and

1070
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 1: I feel that I'm really in a bad position with God.

1071
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 1: You got anything for me, bro, anything you know. First

1072
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 1: of all, I don't know how old. I don't know

1073
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 1: how old this young man is. But um, I remember

1074
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:18,320
Speaker 1: in college, like sex is like a big deal. In college.

1075
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: You go from eighties, eighteen to twenty two, you were

1076
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 1: living in your parents house. Now you have some freedom.

1077
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 1: All the dudes on the football team, all the guys

1078
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: ever talked about with sex when we were around women.

1079
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 1: All the women ever talked about with sex, Like I

1080
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,239
Speaker 1: don't know how old this person is. But college at

1081
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:33,759
Speaker 1: that time it seemed like the time where it was

1082
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:37,880
Speaker 1: just everything with because your hormones are pumping through high school,

1083
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 1: you get to college, and now you can fully explore

1084
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 1: without judgment from your parents. So it was just sex everywhere.

1085
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 1: But I remember there was a point, especially in college,

1086
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 1: where you know, I wanted sex too, three or four

1087
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 1: times a day, and Codeine and I, for the most part,

1088
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 1: we're having sex multiple times a day, every single day.

1089
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,120
Speaker 1: Like it was just we were on top of each other.

1090
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 1: And then um, I got to a point where we

1091
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: were arguing, upset about other things that sex became secondary

1092
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 1: and it wasn't so much about sex anymore. We didn't

1093
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 1: like each other for other things. Sex was always great,

1094
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: and I always you know, I have a beautiful wife

1095
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 1: as well, and I always enjoyed having sex, but we'd

1096
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: be having issues and then them I don't want to

1097
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:17,480
Speaker 1: ben wanna have sex, and I'm not talking to her,

1098
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: but I'm still horny and I'm gonna be honest. That

1099
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:24,120
Speaker 1: never goes away. I was speaking to this this young

1100
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 1: man the other day and he said he was thirty

1101
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: eight and he has a young lady that he's with

1102
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 1: and he was like, yo, D Like, I know, you know,

1103
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: you have a bunch of women are always coming at you.

1104
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: You're on TV, you played in the NFL. How do

1105
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 1: you find the strength to say no. Here's the guys

1106
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 1: on his truth. You need discipline. There's no point like

1107
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 1: I can't give you a number. Guys always asked me,

1108
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: at what age does it stop. As long as you

1109
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:53,600
Speaker 1: have eyes and you have a libido, women will always

1110
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 1: be attractive. It doesn't matter if you're eighteen or if

1111
00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:00,400
Speaker 1: you're fifty eight. My aunt said that my uncle, who

1112
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 1: is now about to turn sixty, is the same way

1113
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: he was. She was talking to me and k and

1114
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 1: we were talking about sex and not having no more babies,

1115
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm not to find a way to

1116
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: keep them off from me, and she said took and

1117
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 1: she said it, don't slow down. And he's turning sixty.

1118
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: So and then there's no point in your life where

1119
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 1: you can just say, all right, well, when I hit

1120
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 1: this number, I'm gonna be done looking at women. So

1121
00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:26,560
Speaker 1: what you have to do is developed discipline. Part of

1122
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,400
Speaker 1: developing that discipline is understanding why you take this way.

1123
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 1: You said it. You were molested by your brother when

1124
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 1: you were younger. You don't know if that triggers something

1125
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 1: in you, but you need to do some work to

1126
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 1: figure out if that's why. You know. UM, A lot

1127
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: of people that I've spoken to said that when they

1128
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: were molested whether this is a man or a woman.

1129
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 1: They then turned sex into their way to control themselves,

1130
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: so rather than being having sex forced upon them, they

1131
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 1: always lead with sex in a way to control their environment.

1132
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,360
Speaker 1: A lot of people that that's that's not just women.

1133
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 1: Men and women both have the I think in America

1134
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: they say one in three women have been molested or

1135
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: raped before they turn fifteen, and I think it's one

1136
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: in five men, and I don't. I don't think a

1137
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 1: lot of people know that. So it's not just a

1138
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,919
Speaker 1: female thing. It's a male and female thing. But doing

1139
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 1: the work to find out why you're so um sexually

1140
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 1: engaged can help you. That's the first thing. The second

1141
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 1: thing is if you think you have a sex addiction,

1142
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 1: which is very different than the first part of therapy,

1143
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:27,440
Speaker 1: which is figuring out about your molestation. See, if you

1144
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:29,919
Speaker 1: have a sex edition, you may have a really really

1145
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,960
Speaker 1: high libido, you know, I mean, you may have to

1146
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,880
Speaker 1: figure out some ways around that. But the biggest thing

1147
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:37,080
Speaker 1: is being disciplined enough to continuously work on it. Right.

1148
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:40,880
Speaker 1: We talk about marriage being a never ending conversation. Healing

1149
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: is a never ending conversation with yourself, right, so you

1150
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 1: never wake up and there's this thing going around where

1151
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 1: they say, make sure them before you get in a relationship.

1152
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 1: You're a healed whole person. There's never gonna be a

1153
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 1: point in your life where you said, you know what,

1154
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:59,120
Speaker 1: I've reached hold them, I'm healed now. Now why that

1155
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 1: that never happens. It's an ongoing process of healing because

1156
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,479
Speaker 1: you go through traumas every single day in your life

1157
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: that you don't even realize the traumas or microaggression. So

1158
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: I would say, do the work on yourself first to

1159
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 1: figure out why you're dealing with this stuff, especially with

1160
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 1: the molestations since you lat with that um see if

1161
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 1: you have a sex addiction. But I will say this,

1162
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 1: if you're looking at me to give you an answer

1163
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 1: as to what age or what number is gonna stop

1164
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 1: or you're going to stop being attracted to women, It's

1165
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 1: never gonna happen. Bro. Women are beautiful. They've been beautiful

1166
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 1: before you got here. They're gonna be beautiful after you

1167
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 1: leave here. So you're gonna have to learn to be disciplined, bro.

1168
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 1: And you gotta earn that. If you call yourself a

1169
01:00:41,280 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 1: man and you really a man, a man knows how

1170
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 1: to control his desires. You cannot be controlled by your penis. Like,

1171
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 1: this is the bottom line. Most decisions made are made

1172
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 1: in poor taste because you thought with the head that

1173
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 1: isn't the one you're supposed to think with. That's just

1174
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: the fact. Most wars, and in pre time, like I

1175
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 1: think it was in like pre Roman times, most wars

1176
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:06,120
Speaker 1: were started over women did starting over women. So you

1177
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:08,760
Speaker 1: have to learn how to have discipline, Bro. Start by

1178
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 1: working and healing on yourself. I don't know if you've

1179
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 1: ever been to therapy, but go to therapy to figure

1180
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 1: out where this is and do your best to be

1181
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 1: honorable to your wife and your children because you would

1182
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,440
Speaker 1: hate to lose what you really really love because you

1183
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: can't control yourself. That's the ultimate weakness of if there's

1184
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:28,160
Speaker 1: anything that I would say is weak, because this was vulnerable.

1185
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 1: You being vulnerable about this is not weak. But you

1186
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 1: knowing that you have a problem and not choosing to

1187
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: deal with it so that you can be the person

1188
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 1: you need to be for your husband, I mean, for

1189
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: your wife and your kids. That's weak. So work on it, bro.

1190
01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pray for you, and there's no judgment here

1191
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 1: because we've all been through it. You know what I'm saying.

1192
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 1: I had a friend and had a sex addiction. He's

1193
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 1: worked on it. Um. You know we you know we

1194
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 1: overquires work. You know. Thanks for bro Yes, all right.

1195
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for three years

1196
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: and we're both active duty military. Thank you for your service.

1197
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 1: Since we've been together, we've never spent more than one

1198
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:09,880
Speaker 1: month together without one of us leaving for deployment or

1199
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:13,040
Speaker 1: other training. Now we're living together full time and I'm happy,

1200
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 1: but he is not. He wants to be alone nine

1201
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 1: of the time and makes me feel bad for wanting

1202
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 1: affection and quality time. He's snapping at me over little things,

1203
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,840
Speaker 1: talking to me crazy. He told me he's depressed and

1204
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: recognizes that he's not treating me right. He told me

1205
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 1: therapy is not an option and will not allow me

1206
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 1: to be his safe space. I'm not sure what to

1207
01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 1: do if I leave. Wouldn't that be me leaving him

1208
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 1: when it gets hard? But at the same time, I

1209
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 1: cannot tolerate the disrespect. Wow, that's hard. I think about

1210
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: even just when you were in the NFL, or just

1211
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 1: people who we've known in that lifestyle where the husband

1212
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 1: is away playing, so there's always the space, and then

1213
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 1: they retire and and now their home in the space

1214
01:02:57,680 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 1: in a household where you know, wife and children have

1215
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 1: been moving accordingly. And then now Dad is home after retiring,

1216
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 1: and he doesn't quite know where he fits in the equation.

1217
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 1: He kind of feels like he doesn't belong a little bit.

1218
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 1: Then there's also that search for what's next, and then

1219
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 1: Mom being just like, well, we normally do things this way,

1220
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 1: so how do we filter Dad into it? So he

1221
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:20,320
Speaker 1: kind of feels like he's unwanted and she kind of

1222
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 1: feels like he's a burden, and then it becomes a thing. Right,

1223
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:26,880
Speaker 1: So it's very it's very hard. I think whenever you're

1224
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 1: with somebody and you're accustomed to being within a certain

1225
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 1: you know, level of interaction and then living together in

1226
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 1: part why I always encourage folks to live together for

1227
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 1: a little bit before they actually marry, so they can know,

1228
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 1: can I coexist with this person and not only it

1229
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 1: be peaceful, but it be a happy space for us

1230
01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:49,479
Speaker 1: to exist in. Um So him wanted to be alone

1231
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,560
Speaker 1: ninety percent of the time. I know that or have heard.

1232
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 1: I don't know personally, but being active duty military, I'm

1233
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 1: sure that there's things that they've seen, places they've been,

1234
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 1: things they've had to endure when you are serving this

1235
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 1: country that may require a level of decompressing or therapy

1236
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:06,640
Speaker 1: which he is not open to. I was going to

1237
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 1: say that, can we just stop right differently? Um, She

1238
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 1: says she doesn't want to feel like she's quitting or

1239
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,280
Speaker 1: leaving when the time gets rough, right, it takes two

1240
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 1: people in a relationship to be of service to each

1241
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:18,000
Speaker 1: other for the relationship to work. If he is not

1242
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:20,040
Speaker 1: willing to be a service to you and the things

1243
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,919
Speaker 1: you need in order for y'all to get better, to

1244
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 1: get better together, that's not quitting on your part. And

1245
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: I'm not a proponent for divorce, but I'm not a

1246
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,440
Speaker 1: proponent of one person doing all the work and the

1247
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 1: other person just being like, well, I'm not doing it,

1248
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:34,560
Speaker 1: and then you have to feel guilty because you're doing

1249
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 1: all the work. No, ma'am, that's that's not That's not

1250
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:39,000
Speaker 1: the way this works. If he doesn't want you to

1251
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 1: be his safe space. Over his words, he doesn't want

1252
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 1: to go to therapy and help you. You do not

1253
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:46,520
Speaker 1: have to stay anywhere and tolerate any disrespect you get.

1254
01:04:46,560 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: One life, And I say this and I say it again.

1255
01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 1: You don't owe anybody anything. The only only person you

1256
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 1: really owe in the world is your kids, because they

1257
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 1: didn't ask to come here. The kids, children are here

1258
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 1: based on your guilty pleasures as your parents. Right, you

1259
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,280
Speaker 1: guys have sex, You'll do whatever you do. Child comes

1260
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 1: into the world. Right, that person comes here with no

1261
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,840
Speaker 1: understanding of why they hear what's going on. You have

1262
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:14,080
Speaker 1: a responsibility to take care of that person. But the adult. No,

1263
01:05:14,720 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 1: If an adult doesn't want to put in the work

1264
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:23,520
Speaker 1: and meet you half way here, that's not healthy. Because

1265
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,920
Speaker 1: you're also not going to guilt me and just saying, well,

1266
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,280
Speaker 1: you know you left me when time's got rough. I

1267
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,840
Speaker 1: didn't leave you. I presented opportunities for us to get better.

1268
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:36,400
Speaker 1: I'm trying to present options for us to get better

1269
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:38,240
Speaker 1: and do things. And you keep shutting it down. No,

1270
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 1: which means you want to stay in this space. That

1271
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 1: space is not healthy for me. I am not going

1272
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:46,400
Speaker 1: to choose to stay in an unhealthy place, especially if

1273
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:48,960
Speaker 1: we got children, so that we can both be unhealthy

1274
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 1: and be poor examples to our children. And he said,

1275
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:53,440
Speaker 1: and she said, here he told me that he's depressed

1276
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:55,440
Speaker 1: and recognizes that he's not treating me right, So is

1277
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 1: that just okay? You know that's not all cases. To

1278
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:02,280
Speaker 1: recognize it, vocalize it and then not want to put

1279
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 1: any plan of action together to make you feel better.

1280
01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:12,200
Speaker 1: Is telling him that that is okay, that's that's just

1281
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 1: the truth. Like and here was even more truth. The

1282
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,960
Speaker 1: people who defend our country and defend our rights and

1283
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 1: freedoms to be who we are deserve way more respect

1284
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:28,760
Speaker 1: than it oft than given. I'm not going to sit

1285
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 1: here and try to understand what he has gone through.

1286
01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:35,960
Speaker 1: I can't even I don't even want to use an

1287
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 1: analogy and say it's like football. It's not like when

1288
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:42,200
Speaker 1: you're deployed and you have to go and and face

1289
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 1: some of the things that they face a completely different level. Right,

1290
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,840
Speaker 1: But at the same time, as a man who chooses

1291
01:06:50,880 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 1: to have a wife and bring children into the world,

1292
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:57,480
Speaker 1: the same duty and honor and respect you have for

1293
01:06:57,520 --> 01:06:59,280
Speaker 1: this country to protect, you have to have that same

1294
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:01,920
Speaker 1: duty and honor respect for your family and for yourself,

1295
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:04,760
Speaker 1: and you have to be willing to get help when

1296
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 1: you need it, you know, like you can't expect veterans

1297
01:07:09,320 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 1: to do this on their own. And I hope veterans,

1298
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:15,200
Speaker 1: If any veterans that are listening to me will listen,

1299
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:17,600
Speaker 1: we don't expect you to do this on your own.

1300
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,200
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to. You've done all, You've already done

1301
01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:23,520
Speaker 1: more more. You know what I'm saying that, like, you

1302
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:25,560
Speaker 1: should be able to come home and say I need help.

1303
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,480
Speaker 1: And it's okay to say, look, I need help. I'm

1304
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:31,400
Speaker 1: going through something, because I don't want to discredit what

1305
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:33,400
Speaker 1: he's going through. I don't have no idea what that's

1306
01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 1: but if the coexisting with somebody through that that requires

1307
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 1: a level of work, and if it's something that he's

1308
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 1: just not willing to do or he just doesn't have

1309
01:07:44,520 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 1: the frame of mind to do it, insists you're well

1310
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 1: within your right to, like you said, not tolerate the disrespect.

1311
01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 1: And sometimes you need sometimes even even soldiers need that

1312
01:07:54,920 --> 01:07:57,480
Speaker 1: uncomfortable feeling to realize they have to take a step forward.

1313
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 1: So say you say you make it. For example, you said,

1314
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:02,160
Speaker 1: you know what, I think we need to get separated

1315
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:04,000
Speaker 1: so I can figure out what's best for me. And

1316
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 1: then he comes home a couple of days and his

1317
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 1: wife and his children not there. That may be the

1318
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 1: thing that clicks inside of him that says I need

1319
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,520
Speaker 1: to do something to move forward to get my family back,

1320
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:16,880
Speaker 1: you know. But but I do think you're enabling him

1321
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:19,479
Speaker 1: if you just sit back and allow him to self

1322
01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:24,360
Speaker 1: loathe and let you be the object of his aggression

1323
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:27,280
Speaker 1: and his depression, because now he won't feel like he's

1324
01:08:27,280 --> 01:08:29,479
Speaker 1: doing anything wrong if he can just unload and unleash

1325
01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:32,439
Speaker 1: on you. You know, he doesn't deserve that. You don't

1326
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:35,880
Speaker 1: deserve that. I'm going to pray for both of you, because, um,

1327
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,519
Speaker 1: anytime my my my grandfather was a war vetan. He

1328
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 1: fought in the Korean War, and he had his ways,

1329
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:45,120
Speaker 1: sometimes snapping when you lose it. And I remember when

1330
01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:47,400
Speaker 1: my grandmother told the story when he first came back,

1331
01:08:47,479 --> 01:08:49,560
Speaker 1: you just have to wake him up with a broom

1332
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:52,120
Speaker 1: because when he was sleeping, he would if she would

1333
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:55,840
Speaker 1: just touch him, he would wake up ready to you know,

1334
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:59,400
Speaker 1: because he said when he first came back, she that's

1335
01:08:59,439 --> 01:09:01,240
Speaker 1: what she had to work on. That's what she did,

1336
01:09:01,439 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 1: and eventually, you know, going through the process, they were

1337
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:07,600
Speaker 1: able to get back to normal. But there's nothing like

1338
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:09,760
Speaker 1: being a spouse to a vet like that's one of

1339
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:12,519
Speaker 1: the hardest things. And I salute you both both of

1340
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:14,519
Speaker 1: you guys e vets Um. I don't know if they're

1341
01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:17,400
Speaker 1: both active still duty, but yeah, she said, if you're

1342
01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:20,760
Speaker 1: both still active, then you're not veterans. We appreciate your

1343
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:23,479
Speaker 1: service and we're gonna pray for you. And I have

1344
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 1: the utmost confidence that as two people were fought for

1345
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:28,479
Speaker 1: this country, y'all are going to fight for your marriage

1346
01:09:28,760 --> 01:09:33,000
Speaker 1: and make it work. Yeah. Absolutely that go sign on that. Alright,

1347
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:35,360
Speaker 1: y'all those are two really good listener that is this week.

1348
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:37,760
Speaker 1: And if you want to be featured, you can go

1349
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:40,639
Speaker 1: ahead and write us. It's never too late. Email us

1350
01:09:40,720 --> 01:09:43,680
Speaker 1: at dead assid advice at gmail dot com. That's d

1351
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,519
Speaker 1: E A D A S S A d V I

1352
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 1: C E at gmail dot com. Alright, moment of truth time.

1353
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:54,679
Speaker 1: We talked traveling, expanding your horizons, Moment of truth, spreading

1354
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:59,560
Speaker 1: your rings in fly travel, get out my head I

1355
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:01,640
Speaker 1: mache that was gonna be my thing. We should be

1356
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:03,639
Speaker 1: spoke all about it in this episo Travel. We don't

1357
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,719
Speaker 1: want to drag this out no more. Travel figure out

1358
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 1: how you can do it. It can start as simple

1359
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:11,680
Speaker 1: as traveling on our US soil. There are a lot

1360
01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:14,960
Speaker 1: of amazing places that you can road trip to get

1361
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:17,920
Speaker 1: you some deals. Go to them travel sites you know,

1362
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:22,040
Speaker 1: and just travel traveling. Shout out to Birmingham. Yeah, expand

1363
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:25,200
Speaker 1: your mind um and all that good stuff, all right.

1364
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,280
Speaker 1: Be sure to follow us on social media. You'll dead

1365
01:10:27,320 --> 01:10:30,640
Speaker 1: asked the podcast and my page Cadine I am and

1366
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,000
Speaker 1: I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,

1367
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:36,800
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review and subscribe dead ask y'all.

1368
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:40,879
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast

1369
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:44,439
Speaker 1: network and is produced by the Noorapinia and Triple Follow

1370
01:10:44,479 --> 01:10:47,240
Speaker 1: the podcast on social media at dead as to podcasts

1371
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:48,200
Speaker 1: and never miss a Thing