Speaker 1: Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camel Luddington,
Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Call It crew.
Speaker 3: Jessica and I are in Los Angeles, California.
Speaker 1: We're to go nothing virtual about this.
Speaker 3: This is straight up together forever. I feel like they're
Speaker 3: feeling the chemistry. Just listening.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the chemistry. This is sort
Speaker 1: of a big week, right. We just had the presidential debates.
Speaker 1: The VMA's are this weekend, Emmys are this weekend. There's
Speaker 1: just Los Angeles is a buzz.
Speaker 2: Well, what happened is is you landed in La just
Speaker 2: some it literally timed out with some something huge that happened, which.
Speaker 3: We have to talk about. Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1: So well, the headline would be the presidential debate. The
Speaker 1: aftermath was that Taylor Swift took to social media to
Speaker 1: say who she was going to cast her vote for
Speaker 1: in a very eloquent post. I might add that Lady's
Speaker 1: got away with words I found. What did you think
Speaker 1: of the post?
Speaker 2: Well, first off, if I were her, I would have
Speaker 2: done it too, where I posted with the picture of
Speaker 2: a cat and then signed off like childless cat. Lady Yeah,
Speaker 2: I thought that was got a sense of humor. Obviously
Speaker 2: genius and we all know what that's referring to.
Speaker 3: I thought it was incredible because I thought that she said.
Speaker 2: Who she was going to vote for, Kamala Harris, but
Speaker 2: she also encouraged everyone to do their research, talked about
Speaker 2: how you can register early for voting yep, and gave
Speaker 2: all the information within her reveal of who she was
Speaker 2: voting for so important because people need to still be
Speaker 2: educated on how to do all those things.
Speaker 1: Yes, and obviously it was you know, she's an incredibly
Speaker 1: you know what, respected human being on the planet, and
Speaker 1: so she knew that. My guess is that she knew
Speaker 1: that expressing her opinion would certainly be of influence. I
Speaker 1: too love that, likely knowing what her power is in
Speaker 1: just everyone's mind right now.
Speaker 3: I loved that the most.
Speaker 1: Important and first thing she said was that you need
Speaker 1: to do your research, and that everybody gets a vote,
Speaker 1: and that you need to register to vote, and for
Speaker 1: first time voters, make sure you're registered, yes, and vote early.
Speaker 3: I mean, just I loved that.
Speaker 1: I just loved the that while she was saying who
Speaker 1: she was going to vote for, it felt the post
Speaker 1: felt very inclusive to just voters in general. That's what
Speaker 1: I like, encouraging voting, being a part of the process,
Speaker 1: having your voice be heard. And then she was telling
Speaker 1: us who you know who who her pick was. So
Speaker 1: I just I thought that the whole thing was Actually
Speaker 1: I thought that the whole thing was beautiful and very
Speaker 1: very well executed. So yay Taylor Swift, Swift, Ya Taylor Swift,
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift for the win.
Speaker 3: And then again she's just so funny, like childless cat
Speaker 3: lady like take that.
Speaker 2: I mean, was there any other picture to post? There's
Speaker 2: no other picture to post. You had to post the
Speaker 2: gorgeous photo shoot from.
Speaker 4: The cat with the cat.
Speaker 3: I can't. I know, I know it was great. It
Speaker 3: was great.
Speaker 1: And then she's so she's not I think she's not
Speaker 1: performing at the VMA's, but she's gonna be there. In
Speaker 1: addition to having a big week just in general. Here
Speaker 1: in Los Angeles, California, we have a guest that I
Speaker 1: am a super fan of.
Speaker 3: I think I can say that with absolute authority.
Speaker 2: She sings, she dances, she she's a trouble threat acts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she inspires me to exercise.
Speaker 2: She I watch her exercise and then I think about exercising,
Speaker 2: I consider it.
Speaker 1: I look at her and I look at her fitness
Speaker 1: level and what she's capable of and.
Speaker 3: How she uses her body, and I just didn't. I'm
Speaker 3: quite frankly, I'm and all of it.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, please please please welcome Julianne Huff.
Speaker 3: Hello, with that haircut. With that haircut, it's just so chic.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have to tell you, Okay, Hi, welcome to
Speaker 2: call it what it is. Jessica has been talking about
Speaker 2: your haircut morning. She wants to go straight from heir
Speaker 2: to the hairdressers and get it done all.
Speaker 4: I mean, I think you should. There's something about short
Speaker 4: hair that like it's for the woman, right because like
Speaker 4: your partner loves long hair and all that stuff. But
Speaker 4: I'm like having short hair is like I feel the
Speaker 4: most free, the most sassy, the most confident I ever
Speaker 4: feel when I have short hair. So go do it,
Speaker 4: chop it off.
Speaker 1: And you know what, let me just say that from
Speaker 1: the outside watching you, it looks like it.
Speaker 3: I don't even know where to start.
Speaker 1: But let's just talk about the fact that you are
Speaker 1: singing and writing and dancing.
Speaker 3: I mean, we want to know what you don't do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is there something that you're Is there something you're
Speaker 2: terrible at?
Speaker 3: What is the thing that you were absolutely terrible at?
Speaker 4: You know, I am terrible at throwing and catching things?
Speaker 3: Oh really?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like sports is not my jam, Like I like
Speaker 4: wish that I could catch a ball or like play volleyball,
Speaker 4: Like you do not want to pick me on your team.
Speaker 3: You two have met. We just met the summer.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 4: I can't believe that it's taken that long though, because
Speaker 4: I feel like we have so many mutual friends and yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Well you also just probably felt my energy just like
Speaker 1: watch again at the parasocial relationships where you watch someone
Speaker 1: and you think that you're a part of their life.
Speaker 1: So when I saw you this summer, I was like, oh, yeah, hi,
Speaker 1: we're friends.
Speaker 3: We know each other absolutely. I know where you were
Speaker 3: last week.
Speaker 1: And you don't even need to rely on paparazzi anymore,
Speaker 1: although you actually have what you choose to post and
Speaker 1: then and then you also have paparazzi.
Speaker 4: I mean yes, but also like I don't feel like
Speaker 4: the paparazzi game is as strong as it was ten
Speaker 4: years ago, which I'm grateful for.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then The.
Speaker 4: Double edged sword to that is you almost feel like
Speaker 4: social media is now another job and careerly like do
Speaker 4: and so you're like, wait, I didn't sign up for
Speaker 4: this job, but I have it now? Wait what?
Speaker 3: And it feels like and it feels like a full
Speaker 3: time job. It does?
Speaker 4: It is?
Speaker 1: It is you almost feel like in your workday you
Speaker 1: haven't you like, haven't hit that, you haven't checked the
Speaker 1: box until you've like either post posted or strategized about
Speaker 1: the post. Sorry I'm giving away this how the sausage
Speaker 1: is made. But it's like there's thought that goes into
Speaker 1: the it's.
Speaker 3: Its own business.
Speaker 4: Well, I think for people listening, I'm sure they're probably
Speaker 4: even better at it than like I am, because like
Speaker 4: I feel like it is it's not my second nature.
Speaker 4: And I look at amazing influencers that I'm like, wow,
Speaker 4: I am so blown away by your ability to like
Speaker 4: be structured and strategic and like you're all marketers, Like
Speaker 4: you're amazing, and like I like wish I had.
Speaker 3: That skill set. Yeah, yeah, no, I know.
Speaker 1: Well, we talk a lot about my personal relationship with balance, right,
Speaker 1: like how do we balance all of these things? And
Speaker 1: I have said timetime again because it is my truth
Speaker 1: that I don't ever actually feel like I'm balancing anything
Speaker 1: on any given day. I'm sort of better at one
Speaker 1: thing than another. For you right now, because it just
Speaker 1: really does seem like you're doing it all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you negotiate that? Like, is there is
Speaker 2: there a balance in your days?
Speaker 4: There isn't true, Like just balance, like that's that's made
Speaker 4: up and trying to be perfect and that's there's no way.
Speaker 4: So when I think about it, I'm like, it's just
Speaker 4: day to day being present in that moment because I
Speaker 4: feel like, you know, I was just on my book
Speaker 4: tour for everything we never know, and it's like, I'm
Speaker 4: not going to be balanced during that week because that
Speaker 4: week is I'm up at three thirty in the morning,
Speaker 4: I'm doing press, I'm you know, pounding some caffeine and
Speaker 4: doing what I need to do, you know. And then
Speaker 4: but I think what I'm trying to do is during
Speaker 4: that press week, even though I know it's not going
Speaker 4: to be balanced, Like how can I actually just enjoy
Speaker 4: the moment and take it in because I can't go
Speaker 4: for a run or I can't I don't have the
Speaker 4: time to do my journaling and stuff like that. You know,
Speaker 4: so like, how can I just take in the moment
Speaker 4: and be very present and enjoy the moment, and then
Speaker 4: when I'm done with it, like reflect on it and
Speaker 4: like take some time to let it integrate versus just
Speaker 4: like onto the next thing. You know. So I think
Speaker 4: that's what I try to do more so, of of like,
Speaker 4: it's harder said.
Speaker 3: Than done, though.
Speaker 2: It's really hard to be crazy. It's hard to be.
Speaker 3: Present, of course, Well, I I, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1: I am again. I saw you this summer and I
Speaker 1: got your book and I read it and it's so
Speaker 1: wonderful and I highly recommend it to anyone who has
Speaker 1: not already bought it or download it or anything like that.
Speaker 1: I just so it hats off to you, because of
Speaker 1: course I was because I think probably like many people,
Speaker 1: there was this book and I had your name on it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, she can't write books too?
Speaker 4: Coming on, Well, it's funny, I mean, like the what
Speaker 4: it's been kind of confusing, I think for a lot
Speaker 4: of people is and even for myself, is like how
Speaker 4: do I identify myself?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 4: Am I a dancer, an actor, a singer, you know,
Speaker 4: an entrepreneur? And then I was like No, I'm a storyteller,
Speaker 4: Like I like telling stories and whatever medium it is, like,
Speaker 4: I want to create worlds for people to be able
Speaker 4: to see themselves in that story and relate to it
Speaker 4: and have it resonate and have it inspire some sort
Speaker 4: of activation of self discovery or I feel seen or wow,
Speaker 4: like anything as possible. So you know, I'm thirty six
Speaker 4: now it's like throughout my twenties it was all about
Speaker 4: performing and and just trying to like figure out what
Speaker 4: to do next, And now it's sort of like what
Speaker 4: is my what do I want to put out in
Speaker 4: the world, and what's the through line? Even though I
Speaker 4: love and I have so many different passions of how
Speaker 4: it's expressed, Like what am I actually trying to say?
Speaker 4: And I think it's self discovery, transformation, healing, like we
Speaker 4: all have the we all have it within us, and
Speaker 4: so if people can see that and that can be
Speaker 4: my way of contributing, you know, lessons that I've learned
Speaker 4: along my journey, then let me just do it through
Speaker 4: any form of storytelling.
Speaker 3: So yes, and you and you are doing that.
Speaker 1: Is there any medium that has intimidated you more than others?
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously you come so naturally to dance, and
Speaker 1: you've been doing it for forever. But when you know,
Speaker 1: when you first got into the recording studio, what was
Speaker 1: that moment?
Speaker 3: Were you like or were you like yes or somewhere
Speaker 3: in between.
Speaker 4: I think because all of those things happened at such
Speaker 4: an early age, I was like fearless then, you know,
Speaker 4: like I didn't have the years of like, you know,
Speaker 4: getting rejected in the industry yet, you know, so I
Speaker 4: just was like going and like fearless and just it
Speaker 4: was an exciting time. So but I think writing this
Speaker 4: book it was it was way more vulnerable because again
Speaker 4: I've spent my years performing and like doing other people's work,
Speaker 4: and even when I had my music, I didn't write
Speaker 4: those songs, and so I connected with them, but it
Speaker 4: didn't come from me. So like this book and this story,
Speaker 4: it really was like half lived experience and then I
Speaker 4: fictionalized it and it came through my own form of
Speaker 4: expression versus and more artistry versus performer.
Speaker 3: It's so personal.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you're really you're trusting people with something
Speaker 1: that's so so personal.
Speaker 2: Can you tell our listeners what the book is about?
Speaker 4: Absolutely? So it's about a woman who seemingly has everything
Speaker 4: to get. She's got the perfect house, perfect marriage, perfect job.
Speaker 4: And at a banquet one night where she's receiving an award,
Speaker 4: she goes up on stage and she starts having these
Speaker 4: supernatural experiences where she sees this man and she sees
Speaker 4: an aura around him. She starts hearing you know, a
Speaker 4: woman's voice saying save him, Henry, save him, Help, Help,
Speaker 4: and she starts tasting salt water and feels like she's drowning.
Speaker 4: And so she's having like all of her senses activated.
Speaker 4: And then when he leaves, they all go away, and
Speaker 4: she's like, what just happened to me? And as she's
Speaker 4: kind of curious about this, she doesn't want to talk
Speaker 4: about it with her friends or her husband because she
Speaker 4: also is like, I feel crazy, this is this is insane.
Speaker 4: So she goes on this sort of exploration and she
Speaker 4: finds this like town witch in this in the city
Speaker 4: of where she lives, in Gardenvale, and she starts, you know,
Speaker 4: being mentored by this woman and she starts doing breath
Speaker 4: work and meditation and stuff and thinking that, oh am,
Speaker 4: I supposed to be healing people because I'm having these
Speaker 4: experiences where I could have helped this person and they
Speaker 4: just had something happen to them. But I could have
Speaker 4: prevented that if I would have listened to these senses.
Speaker 4: So as she's like trying to cultivate these new found powers,
Speaker 4: she realizes, obviously, I can't heal anybody until I heal myself,
Speaker 4: and so she goes on this journey of healing for herself.
Speaker 4: And it's very you know, heightened fantasy. So it's it's
Speaker 4: her healing through that natural elements earth, fire, water, and air,
Speaker 4: and so she uses the elements to help her on
Speaker 4: her own healing journey.
Speaker 3: And it's very so creative.
Speaker 1: I mean, the way that you did this is so
Speaker 1: creative and so many different you know, modalities of understanding
Speaker 1: and sense and all that. And then you know, I
Speaker 1: don't want to give it away, but it's just it's
Speaker 1: so wonderful.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: What part of it was inspired by your life? Are
Speaker 2: you able to say, like specifically.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So I think that thematics, you know, like
Speaker 4: her journey, she was avoiding a lot of like pain,
Speaker 4: and she suppressed a lot of things. So like, you know,
Speaker 4: I've talked openly about it, but I you know, I
Speaker 4: had violation happen to me as a child, and so
Speaker 4: she also has that in the book that she has
Speaker 4: to address and with her family system, and that's the
Speaker 4: earth Lesson that she goes through, which is like her
Speaker 4: roots and the family dynamics. Water is obviously the grief
Speaker 4: and the loss and being able to have the emotions
Speaker 4: come through her fire lesson is about like her visceral
Speaker 4: like healthy anger that comes through, and standing up for yourself.
Speaker 4: Air is about using your voice and also standing up
Speaker 4: for yourself. Those are all universal themes that I think
Speaker 4: we all experience in certain ways, and I've had my
Speaker 4: own versions of that. And so instead kind of, you know,
Speaker 4: writing an autobiography where people are going to read my
Speaker 4: story and see my see me in this story, I
Speaker 4: wanted to write something where I experienced these themes of
Speaker 4: loss and grief and abandonment and violation and all these things.
Speaker 4: But I want the reader to see themselves in the
Speaker 4: story and so that they can go on the journey
Speaker 4: instead of, oh, this is Julianne's story, No, this is
Speaker 4: all of our story. We all go to a hero's journey.
Speaker 4: We all experience a lot of the same emotions in
Speaker 4: our life. We just have different circumstances of how we've
Speaker 4: experienced it. So that was my reason for writing it
Speaker 4: as a fiction. But I definitely you know, and then
Speaker 4: I also had some supernatural experiences at the time when
Speaker 4: I was having like this, you know, for lack of
Speaker 4: better you know, words or a sentence, my spiritual awakening,
Speaker 4: and it like popped open this like next layer of
Speaker 4: healing that I went through. And so I was like, well,
Speaker 4: this is a great way for you know, it doesn't
Speaker 4: have to be so heavy when you go through a
Speaker 4: healing journey. It can be really powerful and amazing and
Speaker 4: mystical and magical.
Speaker 3: And it was the shared experience voices so mine.
Speaker 4: I'm a very kinesthetic person, so I feel a lot
Speaker 4: of things and even I don't know if you know
Speaker 4: about like synesthesia. It's like where if you you can
Speaker 4: like you can smell color or like you can y. Yeah,
Speaker 4: found it's like I'm fascinatle so like I would like
Speaker 4: I would I wouldn't actually see like pink around somebody,
Speaker 4: but I knew it was pink around them. I could
Speaker 4: feel that there was pink, and like I could sense
Speaker 4: that that was the color or you know, I could
Speaker 4: smell and I could hear, you know, just intuitive knowing,
Speaker 4: and so you had.
Speaker 2: That your whole life, where you had that during your
Speaker 2: you're awakening.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was during that sort of Have.
Speaker 3: You ever connected with Laurel and Jackson?
Speaker 4: I haven't.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: Laura and Jackson.
Speaker 1: She she I also met through Amy Griffin.
Speaker 3: She wrote a book called.
Speaker 1: Signs Okay and Uh, And she is a medium and
Speaker 1: she does a lot of oural work and is just
Speaker 1: fascinating and just an incredibly wow just yeah.
Speaker 3: And I had a reading with her and it was
Speaker 3: pretty mind blowing.
Speaker 4: I mean, look, I I have always felt like that's
Speaker 4: been a part of my family. My mom like would
Speaker 4: literally like look at us and be like I think
Speaker 4: you have a strep throat, or like she would you know,
Speaker 4: or like she'd look into my eyes, or she would
Speaker 4: like rub my feet and I'd be like ow and
Speaker 4: she'd like, ooh, something's wrong with your kidney, like sort
Speaker 4: of like a medical medium she just knew as well.
Speaker 3: It's just that witchy.
Speaker 1: I feel like we you know, in our and do
Speaker 1: you have that too where sometimes you ever, well do
Speaker 1: you feel like you do?
Speaker 3: Do you have like the the witchy?
Speaker 4: Absolutely do? And I like every everybody has it. I
Speaker 4: think it's more just. And that's where your book is,
Speaker 4: which is like, because of our childhood, we're so connected, right,
Speaker 4: but then we build up layers of protection to fit
Speaker 4: in to its necessary, adopt for your wounds, Like I
Speaker 4: want to belong, so I'm gonna put this layer of
Speaker 4: protection on me so fit in. Or and so we
Speaker 4: get further and further away from that, or we get
Speaker 4: further and further closed off to what's possible. And so
Speaker 4: this whole book is about delayering all of those conditions
Speaker 4: and patterns and beliefs to like get back to this
Speaker 4: you know, really open channel and vessel of what's possible.
Speaker 1: I think, which it takes a lot of trust because
Speaker 1: the armoring up is what keeps us safe, right, or
Speaker 1: you are brave enough to take the armor off and
Speaker 1: use your own knowing and your own words and your
Speaker 1: own voices to say what you need to say.
Speaker 2: In your twenties, I'm I turned forty. I feel like
Speaker 2: I peel off more the older I get.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, because I feel like it's all like learning. Know,
Speaker 4: you're like building up all these layers and then it's
Speaker 4: all about taking them away.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: A friend of mine calls it the upgrades, Like every
Speaker 1: birthday brings an upgrade, and you sort of like reboot
Speaker 1: the system and you find yourself, you know, a little
Speaker 1: more trusting, a little more totally.
Speaker 4: Those like what you were just saying about armor, it's
Speaker 4: like that comes from a place of defense versus like offense.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: It's like defense is like I'm going to say no
Speaker 4: and protect myself this way. But like when you're connected
Speaker 4: to your truth, you can say no from a very
Speaker 4: healthy place. It's not about being in a defensive place.
Speaker 4: It's it's just a no before you have to be
Speaker 4: in a defensive place.
Speaker 1: Going back to being present, you don't know when you're
Speaker 1: going to get there. It's sort of this silent upgrade.
Speaker 1: Like I think you do your work. I think everybody
Speaker 1: needs to be doing their work. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of times when I feel like I'm doing extra work
Speaker 1: in a relationship, it might be because the other person isn't.
Speaker 1: I can you do the work too, please, because this
Speaker 1: is well, that's a whole lot of that's a whole
Speaker 1: lot of situation.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm doing work for the both of us, and
Speaker 1: while I can, I don't want to.
Speaker 3: You didn't have to do it for yourself.
Speaker 4: Meet me where I'm at, that'd be great.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But just even what you just said, we're recently
Speaker 1: just feeling like in times where my expectations or my
Speaker 1: hopes or my desires are are in conflict with someone else's,
Speaker 1: instead of being defensive or having it be a thing,
Speaker 1: I can really sit and be present and be like,
Speaker 1: I see how you see it, and.
Speaker 4: No, yeah, and that's okay. We yea to this spot,
Speaker 4: and like, I don't have to now win you over
Speaker 4: and adapt to be what you need to be so
Speaker 4: that we shift our energy to match. No, I'm going
Speaker 4: to say where I'm at, and if we don't match,
Speaker 4: it's just a not matching situation. It's not right or wrong.
Speaker 2: I feel like I spent so much in my twenties
Speaker 2: trying to do exactly that, trying to match other people's energy, yes,
Speaker 2: which is exhausting, and just not it doesn't it doesn't work.
Speaker 1: Yes, And then sort of in the silent hours of
Speaker 1: the night, you find yourself asking yourself, like, what do
Speaker 1: I want? And it's the more that you act like that,
Speaker 1: the further you get from what do I want?
Speaker 3: And being able to answer it. Yes, you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: I want what I When.
Speaker 1: We talk about all the time with you know, social media,
Speaker 1: it's like I want what you know, what that person
Speaker 1: has or that person has a better life for that
Speaker 1: persons whatever, and you compare, and like comparison is just
Speaker 1: the thief of joy and honesty because it's like what
Speaker 1: do I want? Maybe I want that, Maybe I actually don't.
Speaker 1: Maybe I just got carried away in the moment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's okay. Like that's what I always like
Speaker 4: think about too, is like you don't know what you know.
Speaker 4: You don't know until you know it, and so everybody's
Speaker 4: doing the best that they can. But once you get
Speaker 4: like an insight of like, wow, I really I really
Speaker 4: trust myself. Like you can't go back. Even your patterns
Speaker 4: try to come back in and you you almost slip
Speaker 4: up and try to like you repeat something. You're like,
Speaker 4: I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 3: You cannot unread.
Speaker 4: And it's hard because you're so familiar with doing it
Speaker 4: a certain way for so long that you think that
Speaker 4: that's what feels safe when it's actually not the right thing.
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, it's just a pattern.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you seem like you are in the most incredible place.
Speaker 4: You're so sweet.
Speaker 3: I mean, what is that like, I mean new relationships
Speaker 3: and being in this space.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do feel that, and I think that, like
Speaker 4: even some of my relationships from my past are coming
Speaker 4: back up around and you know, things sometimes shift and.
Speaker 1: Then Ryan secret. Sorry, I just have to say it
Speaker 1: because I was a really big fan of you guys.
Speaker 1: I shipped you, you know I did.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be honest. Here's what happened. We walked in
Speaker 3: this morning.
Speaker 2: Everyone knew we're going to talk to you, and we
Speaker 2: are iHeart and Bourbank. Everyone here the entire building would
Speaker 2: like you to it back with Ryan Seacrest. We're like,
Speaker 2: we're even the security guy we're like walking through and
Speaker 2: he is like, are they getting back together?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't know, we can ask.
Speaker 4: This is really funny.
Speaker 3: You're super fans over here.
Speaker 4: No, clearly people are interested in that.
Speaker 3: So not interested.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's like a whole It's like you're shipping
Speaker 2: it like you're a TV Yeah couple exactly.
Speaker 1: But I mean, like truly, like on Gray's Anatomy, I
Speaker 1: ill obviously it was a fake relate. I'm not fake,
Speaker 1: but it was a imagined relationship, but I too.
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't tell you how many times.
Speaker 1: And by the way, it was an imagined relationship and
Speaker 1: people were coming up to me and being.
Speaker 3: Like, but just why, like why are you together? Like, well,
Speaker 3: first of all, I'm not her.
Speaker 1: Yeah I can fall that's a question for someone above
Speaker 1: my pay grade. Yeah, we need to talk to a
Speaker 1: writer about that.
Speaker 3: I'm curious.
Speaker 2: What is Was there a moment that you felt started
Speaker 2: your healing journey where you're like, I got to take
Speaker 2: care of this.
Speaker 4: I mean it's there. Wasn't like a It was more
Speaker 4: like back in twenty thirteen, I went to a Tony
Speaker 4: Robbins seminar and that was like the beginning of like
Speaker 4: my cognitive awareness of like belief systems, and I was like, wow,
Speaker 4: like I had a totally different belief Like my whole
Speaker 4: drive and ambition to do. What I did was basically
Speaker 4: to say f you to certain people and say watch
Speaker 4: me because you said I couldn't. Like that got me
Speaker 4: really far, but that's not sustainable. They still had the power,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. And so when I figured
Speaker 4: that out at like twenty five, I was like, WHOA.
Speaker 4: I had to like refall in love with I with
Speaker 4: what I did from.
Speaker 2: A place I figured that out at twenty five. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I figured that out like last year.
Speaker 3: Yes, I feel like she figured out. Guess I'm still
Speaker 3: forging about that.
Speaker 4: That was sort of that was back in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 4: So that shifted my whole like perspective of like why
Speaker 4: do what I do? And I lost my motivation for
Speaker 4: a few years because I was like, I don't know
Speaker 4: what's driving me.
Speaker 1: So yeah, well that's and that can sometimes be a
Speaker 1: result of a saying that I like to pull out
Speaker 1: of my back pocket all the time, which is oftentimes
Speaker 1: when I feel very overwhelmed and I don't know what
Speaker 1: I want to do, and I'm looking at everybody else,
Speaker 1: like what does everybody else want to need? And I
Speaker 1: want to make it all good and fix and please
Speaker 1: and all this stuff, and I'm like, hold on, I
Speaker 1: am setting myself on fire to keep everybody else warm.
Speaker 3: And I will no longer exist if I allow this
Speaker 3: to continue.
Speaker 1: And it's a real and it's you have to have
Speaker 1: a real diligence, if to have a real discipline with
Speaker 1: yourself and with your thoughts, because oftentimes I think also
Speaker 1: these thoughts become habits more than actual real feelings, and
Speaker 1: we just sort of, you know, we habituate them and
Speaker 1: then we fall right back into them.
Speaker 3: Okay, we have to talk about Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, I love it.
Speaker 3: And I came to it late translator. I was a
Speaker 3: day wanner. I was not a day wanner.
Speaker 4: You are in a day wanner when a day wanner.
Speaker 1: My kids brought me into it. So the girls, Eve
Speaker 1: and Poppy and Josephine started watching it, and they were probably,
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe like six or seven episodes in.
Speaker 1: And I just always feel like when they're watching something
Speaker 1: is when I'm like getting stuff done.
Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, they're fine.
Speaker 1: And I must have just like put my feet up
Speaker 1: on the couch and was like, what do you watching?
Speaker 1: And I was fully fully hooked and then managed to
Speaker 1: because all the seasons are just sitting there right at
Speaker 1: wherever you extreme things. We went back, we went forwards,
Speaker 1: We went to just put different performances. We did actually
Speaker 1: rewatch the finale, Poppy and I did in preparation, but
Speaker 1: she is so excited and she they just loved you
Speaker 1: last season and it looked so exciting. We really like
Speaker 1: the outfit with the hood thing. All of it was
Speaker 1: just fucking on fire.
Speaker 3: You ate that up.
Speaker 4: Well, by the way, you have to come to the
Speaker 4: show then don't know my whole body, and like you're
Speaker 4: going to.
Speaker 3: Have a blast.
Speaker 4: I don't know like what you know she's into. So
Speaker 4: like there's different themes each week, and so you know
Speaker 4: pick now that you guys are fans, Like there's like
Speaker 4: most most memorable you know week, which is like all
Speaker 4: the backstories. There's Disney Week, There's week Love the Disney Week.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, there's no way in the world that
Speaker 1: I'm not taking you up on that.
Speaker 3: I might. You might just open up your trailer door
Speaker 3: and I'll just be sitting there. You might end up
Speaker 3: on it. You're gonna end up on it. Yeah you too.
Speaker 1: Dancing might be my kryptonite. And here's the most unjustice,
Speaker 1: that's what.
Speaker 3: But by the way, those are the people that I
Speaker 3: want to see so far.
Speaker 4: But by the way, talk about when I was saying
Speaker 4: earlier about like my through line, it's like I want
Speaker 4: to tell stories of transformation and self discovery. People think
Speaker 4: this is a dance show. It's not a dance shows me.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm all ready to be transformed, but.
Speaker 4: Like on the insight and your confidence and like feeling
Speaker 4: alive and sexy and like are you? It's so fun
Speaker 4: it is, Well, how did I think.
Speaker 3: I'm just partner?
Speaker 1: Is that? In my mind? I am a phenomenal dancer.
Speaker 1: In my mind, I'm a phenomenal singer. And when I
Speaker 1: go to do the thing, I'm really glad there's no
Speaker 1: cameras around because I can still think I'm great and
Speaker 1: not be great at the same time.
Speaker 2: I want to know how you And because there's only
Speaker 2: so many spots, right, how did you and your brother
Speaker 2: end up on it?
Speaker 3: That's so wild?
Speaker 4: So obviously my brother and I we we competed in
Speaker 4: London and we trained our whole lives basically to do
Speaker 4: what we do. And when I moved back, my brother
Speaker 4: still stayed in London, and my dance partner was there too,
Speaker 4: Mark Ballas, and I came out to la to act
Speaker 4: and to sing, and I wasn't planning on dancing, but
Speaker 4: I obviously needed to pay my rent, and so I
Speaker 4: would do these dancing jobs for commercials or whatever, and
Speaker 4: I got offered to go on the Dancing with the
Speaker 4: Stars tour as a company dancer. When I was eighteen
Speaker 4: and when I was on the tour, the producers of
Speaker 4: the show saw me asked me to be on the show.
Speaker 4: I said no, because I want to be a respected
Speaker 4: actress and seeing like if I go on a reality show,
Speaker 4: like I'm going to have a certain you know, narrative
Speaker 4: of that and I'm never gonna be able to act.
Speaker 4: And then at the time, I was like, there's twenty
Speaker 4: million viewers watching this show every single week. It's it's
Speaker 4: more than a reality show. It's a competition show. Like
Speaker 4: there's real talent, it's my skill set. I was like,
Speaker 4: I do need to pay my rent. So so I
Speaker 4: went on the show in season four and I told
Speaker 4: them about my brother and like, you know Mark, and
Speaker 4: they ended up reaching out and he came the season
Speaker 4: after that.
Speaker 1: So, by the way, that is a story of you
Speaker 1: certainly showing them, I mean, going on on show like
Speaker 1: that and doing what you've done, wanting to be you know,
Speaker 1: an actor and finding your way there through that.
Speaker 3: It's just incredible.
Speaker 4: Well and I think that okay, So again, that was
Speaker 4: when I was eighteen, and when I was twenty five
Speaker 4: is when I figured out the other part of like
Speaker 4: I'm doing this for everybody. I got to find it
Speaker 4: within myself, and I had this mindset that like, if
Speaker 4: I did this, I can't do that. But the truth
Speaker 4: is is we can do whatever we want, and we
Speaker 4: have the power to have our own narrative. And yes,
Speaker 4: there are certain pathways that people take because that's how
Speaker 4: it was done. But the people that create new pathways
Speaker 4: are the ones that you end up following as a
Speaker 4: role model or you know, as a model of how
Speaker 4: to get to the next place. And so I was like,
Speaker 4: I'll just do it different, you know, like, and it
Speaker 4: hasn't been easy because again people are like, wait, what
Speaker 4: does she do? But the thing with Dancing with the
Speaker 4: Stars is like I am so grateful for the show
Speaker 4: and like just the just everything that it is like
Speaker 4: brought to my life as like an embarrassment of riches,
Speaker 4: Like I am so blessed to be a part of
Speaker 4: this show.
Speaker 1: It reminds me that I was just telling the story
Speaker 1: the other day that when I first graduated college and
Speaker 1: I came out to Los Angeles to be an actress
Speaker 1: and yes, I need to pay my bills too, and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, okay, was this going to go?
Speaker 1: And everybody was doing you know, movies, and they were
Speaker 1: doing either studio movies or they were doing indie movies,
Speaker 1: but it was all movies and movies, movies. And I
Speaker 1: three months of auditioning and I hadn't gotten anything. And
Speaker 1: I was like three months by the way, it was
Speaker 1: like a second and I was like, I'm a failure.
Speaker 3: It's all over.
Speaker 1: I'm hanging up.
Speaker 3: I'm hanging it up. But I remember my agent saying, well,
Speaker 3: what do you want to do? And I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I mean, okay.
Speaker 1: This this world does not seem to be welcoming me
Speaker 1: like I thought it might, and so what else could
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 3: Could I do? Like television? And they were like, ooh,
Speaker 3: I don't know about television.
Speaker 1: I was like why and they're like, because you know,
Speaker 1: and it was very much like go to TV because
Speaker 1: you're the B team, And I was like, you know
Speaker 1: what I would like to be. I would like to
Speaker 1: be a paid actor. So if that's who's hiring me,
Speaker 1: then I'm okay to be on the B team, and
Speaker 1: I'll just work my way up to the A team.
Speaker 4: And uh.
Speaker 1: And I never I never drew any lines in the sand,
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful that I did, because that was
Speaker 1: what started my career, and I truly like went from
Speaker 1: I mean, I did so many pilots that didn't get
Speaker 1: picked up, but it was like every year, and it
Speaker 1: was a world that welcomed me and wanted me there,
Speaker 1: which felt a whole lot better than a world that
Speaker 1: was like you're not good enough, you're not going to
Speaker 1: fit into right, Like oh my gosh. And back then
Speaker 1: it was like you're not skinny enough, you're not pretty enough,
Speaker 1: you're not tall enough, you're not short enough. You're all
Speaker 1: the things that I wasn't enough of, and then there
Speaker 1: was this world that was like, yeah, you aren't. It
Speaker 1: was a really, really, really big difference.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dancing with Yes.
Speaker 4: We put like a hierarchy of what's better. Yeah, it's
Speaker 4: a real shame, it is because.
Speaker 3: It really really hurts people too. You know, our whole
Speaker 3: call it crew.
Speaker 1: They write in with the most beautiful and vulnerable submissions,
Speaker 1: and I would say one of the common themes is
Speaker 1: like am I good enough?
Speaker 4: One thousand percent?
Speaker 1: And it's really interesting because again, in friendship, you see
Speaker 1: what other people don't. So part of the reason that
Speaker 1: this all got born is like I see this one
Speaker 1: as like just the best thing that ever happened.
Speaker 3: She makes me laugh without even talking. She can like
Speaker 3: move an eyeball just.
Speaker 1: You know, I mean, and I'm like, but okay, wait
Speaker 1: back to just I'm sorry, just just deal with me
Speaker 1: for a second. With the stars, the cast has been
Speaker 1: the lineup has been revealed. One of the participants is.
Speaker 3: The Delvy Yes who I saw a picture. She's still
Speaker 3: under house arrest, so she has the Some people are
Speaker 3: some people are so angry about this. I like, are
Speaker 3: they're angry.
Speaker 2: People with some people, I'm not happy. It's controversial, controversial
Speaker 2: is but I love it.
Speaker 4: I'm so obsessed.
Speaker 2: I'm so obsessed, you guys, because I need her to win.
Speaker 3: I don't even know who the other contestants are. I
Speaker 3: don't care.
Speaker 2: I need I just I want her to win. I'm serious.
Speaker 2: And by the way, she could be deported any second.
Speaker 2: Oh stop it.
Speaker 3: I don't know. But she had to get permission from immigration.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 4: It's pretty I mean talk about controversy, but again in
Speaker 4: a way that like allows people to show their most
Speaker 4: you know, true self. So this is a great opportunity
Speaker 4: for her. But I just love it so much because
Speaker 4: I was obsessed with the show and Julia Garner just
Speaker 4: crushed it and there's there's so there's so much fun
Speaker 4: to be had with it, and like she she plays
Speaker 4: into it, which like, yeah she does.
Speaker 1: Already did yesterday.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 3: You guys, I cannot.
Speaker 1: I wait did she could she take it off for
Speaker 1: them to do that or did she have to like
Speaker 1: be there?
Speaker 3: W she can take it off? Captraw.
Speaker 2: So my favorite though, it's sending it into Michaels to
Speaker 2: be bedazzled.
Speaker 4: My favorite thing though, is like speaking of like wanting
Speaker 4: to like fit in right when ever she says I
Speaker 4: have a great outfit on, because I've seen her like
Speaker 4: two or three times now, I'm like, oh my gosh, I.
Speaker 3: Know you definitely do we know from the show on
Speaker 3: the show that she has opinions.
Speaker 4: You tell Paw like you know, you're like.
Speaker 3: Paw, so you are not looking poor?
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Yes, you're not looking poor. Oh my god. Do you
Speaker 3: ever do you still get nervous or no? Are you?
Speaker 3: You're not nervous at all.
Speaker 4: I mean with anything that I do, I I have
Speaker 4: those butterfly tingly feelings. Obviously if I don't feel prepared,
Speaker 4: I get nervous. But but with the show like because
Speaker 4: I've literally done every role. Now yeah, yeah, now I'm posting.
Speaker 4: It's like I know this show so well, and the crew,
Speaker 4: the you know, camera operators and the lighting and the
Speaker 4: design and like the costume designer, Like everybody has been
Speaker 4: there for almost I mean most people have been there
Speaker 4: for almost the entire thirty three seasons. And so it's
Speaker 4: like it's family and it's actually a healthy family.
Speaker 3: I love that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Like it's not like maybe your own family that's dysfunctional,
Speaker 4: Like it's a really healthy family.
Speaker 1: Well, the story that I'm making up in my mind,
Speaker 1: given that I've now gotten to spend time with you.
Speaker 3: Is that that tracks right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You being you and being in the place that you're
Speaker 1: at and having a healthy family to work with and
Speaker 1: be in relationship with makes sense to me.
Speaker 3: Is it hard working with your own family?
Speaker 4: Am?
Speaker 2: I said? I feel like me and my siblings would
Speaker 2: end up in a huge dance, huge dance.
Speaker 3: You have a lot of siblings too.
Speaker 2: We have a dance song, No, I we have a
Speaker 2: my siblings they'll be listening right now.
Speaker 3: We're in a WhatsApp like group chat.
Speaker 2: Someone you can exit the chap is like storming out right,
Speaker 2: someone storms.
Speaker 3: Out of our chat every other day and then.
Speaker 2: You have to be invited back in. So when it's
Speaker 2: it's kind of embarrassing because you have to be like,
Speaker 2: can I come back in your own storm out?
Speaker 4: You know about I would say about five or six
Speaker 4: years ago. That was also like remember when Marco Polo
Speaker 4: was like a thing Polo the app, Like we would
Speaker 4: say yes, yes, So that's when the like people would
Speaker 4: leave the chat and like not feel included and it
Speaker 4: would become okay. That was like five or six years ago,
Speaker 4: and I feel like since then, fortunately, our family we're
Speaker 4: we're doing. We're on a good streak right now, so
Speaker 4: it's good for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're not. We're not. We'll never be.
Speaker 2: We like we like a little, we like arguing attle
Speaker 2: argument with you.
Speaker 4: So there's always something.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's like how many are you? How many are you?
Speaker 4: So I'm the baby of five in my blood, but
Speaker 4: then I also have nine step brothers and sisters thirty
Speaker 4: three now use like I've never gone and on and on.
Speaker 4: IM remarried, like a lot of people are remarried and
Speaker 4: new family, so it's just very blended.
Speaker 3: That's wild.
Speaker 1: I don't usually meet a lot of people that have
Speaker 1: more than me. But you've got me, You've got do
Speaker 1: you have. I'm the oldest of ten with all of
Speaker 1: the yours, mind ours and theirs.
Speaker 3: We're adopted, half step all of the things.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about your book, and everyone please go
Speaker 2: out and get it.
Speaker 3: Yes, it sounds inccredible book.
Speaker 4: I feel like people will like connect to it. Also
Speaker 4: if if you just want a fund like escape too.
Speaker 4: It's also fun. And then I have music that goes
Speaker 4: along with I know coming out. You would tell us
Speaker 4: about the music, Well, the single is out, it's like
Speaker 4: Spotify and everything. It's same title, everything we never knew.
Speaker 4: And then I have a song for each one of
Speaker 4: the lessons that she goes to in the book that
Speaker 4: are coming out a little bit later. I'm going to
Speaker 4: do like a second push for oh my God holidays
Speaker 4: and and promote the book again and and then and
Speaker 4: promote it with the music that's coming out. It kind
Speaker 4: of just came out of nowhere. I was like I
Speaker 4: had another form of storytelling, and like, so some people
Speaker 4: like to listen incredible.
Speaker 3: You know, yes, you're incredible.
Speaker 4: You're both incredible and you're thank you for us right now.
Speaker 1: So I know, I know, I got here last night
Speaker 1: and I go back to New York. Well, I stop
Speaker 1: in Chicago on the way, but I'll be back in
Speaker 1: New York on Monday.
Speaker 3: But now is the most beautiful.
Speaker 4: New York is. Like I'm so sad because I obviously
Speaker 4: shoot Dancing with the Stars in the fall every season now,
Speaker 4: so it's the New York fall every year, and I'm so.
Speaker 3: Sad, I know, but you know what, New York Spring.
Speaker 4: It's also great.
Speaker 1: Not got your favorite, it has turned into maybe even
Speaker 1: my favorite.
Speaker 4: Oh interesting because.
Speaker 1: Speaking of magical, when you really lived through the four
Speaker 1: seasons and you've you've gone through the winter, you're uniquely
Speaker 1: aware of your surroundings.
Speaker 3: So you know every spot where there's.
Speaker 1: No foliage, where there's no green, where there's no flowers,
Speaker 1: there's nothing, and so when they come, it's like it
Speaker 1: is like magic. It's like you just I've been I
Speaker 1: literally find myself googling, like I don't know a lot of.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, we're sitting here fall one hundred and seven to trees.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Tommy Moore, I know right.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much, and I'm going to take
Speaker 1: you up on the Dancing with the Stars, Poppy and
Speaker 1: Eve and Josie and I will be in the front row.
Speaker 3: Wait can I come too?
Speaker 4: Yes? Absolutely, I said yes for you, Yes, every pretty cut.
Speaker 3: All right, We're gonna be fun. Brok you thank you
Speaker 3: so much, Thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Have a great day you too.
Speaker 2: I got to get the book, and I'm gonna tell
Speaker 2: you why I do love supernatural stuff too.
Speaker 3: I know, I love a little.
Speaker 2: I love it and I love that she included the
Speaker 2: elements and that and the singing and the whole.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's a whole experience. I love it.
Speaker 2: She's just I mean, what can't she do? I'm glad
Speaker 2: she said the sports thing, because.
Speaker 3: Yeah she can't. She said. No, she's almost true talented.
Speaker 2: Next time you guys see us, we may be front
Speaker 2: row and dancing with the stars.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. I mean that is a that is an absolute.
Speaker 3: That is not even like a question mark. Well, on
Speaker 3: home team A b C. It's on home team ABC.
Speaker 4: But I have a question.
Speaker 2: Will you be sat front row like wearing jazz shoes
Speaker 2: just in case someone falls.
Speaker 4: In? Coach?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, did Anna twist and ankle because of that? Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's tennis all over again. It's tennis all over again.
Speaker 3: You're in the leotard, the sparkles. They're like, why is
Speaker 3: Jessica dressed to dance? We know why. Now My kids
Speaker 3: really do want me to go on, but I'm telling
Speaker 3: you it's not. It's it's not. It's fine.
Speaker 2: You're you're you're giving off. I know what I can
Speaker 2: I cannot do anyway. Thank you guys so much for
Speaker 2: joining us today. Let's call it.
Speaker 1: Call it the end of the episode.