1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: You don't hear me concession, I can't take back all 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 1: arms mouse speak. 3 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,120 Speaker 2: We got a text into seventy eighty five nine two 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 2: that says, I'm a dentist, and honestly, my number one 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: judgment about patients isn't if they flass, it's if they 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 2: don't trim their nose hairs. 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 3: I never thought about that. 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:30,640 Speaker 2: Surprisingly, ladies are often worse, so please trim them before 9 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 2: your next business. 10 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 3: I think ladies would be more did My husband's always 11 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 3: me to. 12 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,839 Speaker 2: I mean, door refuses to trim her armpit or her 13 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 2: leg hair, so I'm doubting she's gonna go anywhere near 14 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: her nose. 15 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 3: It come on other hairs longer than her head hair. 16 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 3: I'm like, you're taller than me. It's not like you're 17 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 3: looking at it all the time. 18 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 2: But you know what, we do appreciate the helpful tips, 19 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 2: and we especially appreciate the secrets that our listeners share. 20 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 2: Right here on the mass speaker, we've got a guy 21 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 2: who's ready to spill his truth and wants to go 22 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: by Paul today. 23 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 1: So Paul, welcome to the show. How's your nose here doing? 24 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 4: I feel like it's doing at right. Guys, thanks for 25 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 4: having me. 26 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,199 Speaker 1: As you speak there the wind. 27 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 3: It's so tickli to do that though, Sorry, it is 28 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 3: about you, not about us, that's right. 29 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 2: Aside, Paul voice changer is on. You're the mass speaker. 30 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 2: Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. 31 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,960 Speaker 4: Okay. So yeah, this is really embarrassing. 32 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 3: So back to college. 33 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 4: I was dating this girl and then her parents came 34 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,680 Speaker 4: to visit, and was still like really early in the relationship, 35 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 4: especially totally for me, like do the music parents thing. 36 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 4: But they came out of dorm and her mom is 37 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,960 Speaker 4: really sweet and she invited me to lunch. 38 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's a lot like if you weren't 39 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 3: even ready to meet them. And all of a sudden, 40 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 3: the mom's like, let's go to love. 41 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: That's a good sign. 42 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 4: Yeah they're they're really nice, po little and then I. 43 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: Said sure, yeah, free lunch for a college. 44 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 4: Normally that would be the case, you know, yeah, free lust. 45 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:10,079 Speaker 4: But I was like super hungover. I had like three 46 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 4: a mcmuffins trying to soak up this alcohol and. 47 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 3: What a college kid can stomach. 48 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: So you went with them? 49 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, So I go out with them and then 50 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 4: end up going to this tie place I've never had 51 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 4: time before. 52 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 3: It's son. 53 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: Oh god. 54 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 2: It's so good though, but it's a little bit intimidating 55 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,239 Speaker 2: for your first time. 56 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 4: Yeah right. 57 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 3: You can always get the cashw chicken. 58 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,119 Speaker 1: Or just a bowl of plain white rice. 59 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. 60 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,239 Speaker 4: Yeah. So we're at this tie place and it's already awkward. Like, 61 00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 4: I don't mind meeting your parents, but I want to 62 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 4: do it where I'm like not so hungover, you know. 63 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, so like in six years when you're out of college, right, 64 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 3: right exactly. 65 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 4: So the food comes out, and I just try to 66 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,519 Speaker 4: get out of it, like to get out of the 67 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 4: whole thing. I say, I'm allergic to peanuts because I 68 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 4: see peanuts on a dish. 69 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 3: Oh there's sons of peanuts saucer. 70 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: Right, it's actually kind of smart. 71 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So them. 72 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 4: Being the great people they are, send the food back 73 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 4: and get everything we ordered with no peanuts. That I 74 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 4: still have to eat everything. 75 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 3: People, Oh my god, and you're feeling guilty because you're 76 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 3: making the kitchen recook everything right right. 77 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 4: Oh, double yeah, double guilt. And then and then you 78 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 4: know kind of like lesson learn right, which would have 79 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 4: been a funny story except I ended up marrying that 80 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 4: girl and We've been married for four years and I 81 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 4: still have to keep up this lie. 82 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 3: That's a hard one to not because even like I 83 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 3: think it could be really useful. Sorry, I can't go 84 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 3: on the family trip. They serve peanuts on the plane. 85 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 2: I just. 86 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 3: Too risky. 87 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 4: Well, not just that, not too long ago. 88 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 2: It was Christmas. 89 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 4: Her mom saw me eating a peanut and then lost 90 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 4: her mind because she was like, oh my god, a peanut. 91 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 4: Eminem She was like peanuts, and I didn't realize it. 92 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. 93 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 4: So I had to pretend like my throat was closing up, 94 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 4: and they dropped me off to the hospital. 95 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: They took you to the hospital that night. 96 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 4: No, yeah, I had about a hospital stay there for 97 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 4: like an hour and a half. 98 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 3: No, oh no, wait doesn't your wife know that it's alive. 99 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 4: No, she doesn't know either. 100 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,839 Speaker 3: I feel like they'd rather know than have to take 101 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:32,799 Speaker 3: you to the hospital. 102 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: Oh that's true. Don't you think it would be easier 103 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: to just like tell the parents that, I mean, you're 104 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: married to her. 105 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 3: It's a funny story. 106 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 4: I think like the kind of people they are, they're 107 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 4: just so nice. It's like, first of all, the disappointment, 108 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 4: like I think I had to wait another twenty years 109 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 4: at least before this is funny time off. Wow. 110 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: I feel like if you told them, they wouldn't think 111 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: it was funny yet. 112 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 3: No, I think they was so excited they could eat 113 00:04:59,040 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 3: peanut stuff around. 114 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 2: I would make up another lie and just say, oh 115 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 2: my gosh, I just did a new allergy test and 116 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 2: miracle it's gone. 117 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know something like that. 118 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,280 Speaker 3: You know that they're like, oh my god. When you 119 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 3: have grand babies, we just really hope that doesn't get 120 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 3: passed down. 121 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 4: Yeah. 122 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 2: I think might be onto something some sort of like 123 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,040 Speaker 2: magic peanut allergy feeling pill. 124 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just like, wow, I don't know what it was. 125 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 3: My husband did some treatment for bee allergies where they 126 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 3: like give you shots of it. He's been stung a 127 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 3: billion times. He still says he's allergic. I've never seen 128 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 3: any reaction to. 129 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: Stop putting beehives in his bed. 130 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 3: It's our daily beast thing. 131 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 1: Min Oh wow. So you don't think you're ever going 132 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: to tell the parents, at least not for another twenty years. 133 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 1: You said, yeah, okay, wow, good luck. My man text 134 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: in seventy five nine two. 135 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to 136 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: we'll hide your identity, master your voice, and make you 137 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 2: the next mass speaker. 138 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 1: We got your phone tap coming up next freaking Jeff 139 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: in the Morning.