Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Sammy and welcome to this week's episode
Speaker 1: of the Let's Be Real Podcast. This week, I am
Speaker 1: joined by influencer Lauren Gray. You may know her from Instagram.
Speaker 1: From social media, she's millions of followers spanning a bunch
Speaker 1: of apps, and she's a very interesting perspective as she's
Speaker 1: been in this business for over six years herself. She's
Speaker 1: only nineteen my age, and she's got a great perspective
Speaker 1: on relationships, friendships, social media, and much more. I hope
Speaker 1: you guys enjoyed. Lauren. I am so happy you're on
Speaker 1: my podcast. This is so exciting. I'm very excited to
Speaker 1: talk to you about social media and for me personally,
Speaker 1: I have an interesting relationship with social media and since that,
Speaker 1: I am struggling finding a healthy balance with it where
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can relate it's a business, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, you're nineteen year old girl in social
Speaker 1: media can be really hard, right and you're a nineteen
Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, yeah, it can be really difficult. Um.
Speaker 1: I feel like it took me a really long time
Speaker 1: I'm to find that balance because I think when when
Speaker 1: I hit seventeen, I burnt out and I you know,
Speaker 1: I've been doing it since I was thirteen, and and
Speaker 1: that's a shitty feeling to have burnt out at seven. Right,
Speaker 1: you don't want and you you wanted to be fun
Speaker 1: and you wanted to be something that you're passionate about. Um,
Speaker 1: but then when it turns into a job and now
Speaker 1: it's a requirement, it feels like waking up for school,
Speaker 1: like waking up and getting ready for something that you're
Speaker 1: obligated to do. And I feel like I hit that
Speaker 1: wall at seventeen, and then I sort of had to
Speaker 1: rediscover where I fit and what I needed to do
Speaker 1: to make myself feel good about it again. Um So yeah,
Speaker 1: the past two years, I've been figuring it out and
Speaker 1: I feel like now I'm in a good place with it.
Speaker 1: So what do you do to not have breakdowns from Instagram? Well,
Speaker 1: I asking for a friend when I was sixteen and
Speaker 1: I was waking up every morning, do I make up
Speaker 1: hair story poster? Like back to back to back and
Speaker 1: your screen time? It was insane. It was all day
Speaker 1: and I missed out and going out with friends, and
Speaker 1: I missed out on different things that you do in
Speaker 1: life because I was so organized and had all of
Speaker 1: my social media scheduled and planned, and actually, for like,
Speaker 1: social media is shifting in a really helpful way right
Speaker 1: now to where you don't have to post a million
Speaker 1: stories and you don't have to constantly be there all
Speaker 1: the time. Sometimes it's actually more beneficial to take a
Speaker 1: step back and let people miss you a little bit.
Speaker 1: And I was, I was so on it all of
Speaker 1: the time, and it can really, it can really be
Speaker 1: destructive because you want to have fun and you want
Speaker 1: to share things that you enjoy. And I don't want
Speaker 1: to just post selfies every day, Like some days I
Speaker 1: hate the way I look and I don't want to
Speaker 1: post that. So um now I just post whenever I
Speaker 1: feel like I have something to share, and if I don't,
Speaker 1: then I don't love that. I find other things to do,
Speaker 1: Like I'll talk to fans, or I'll do like a
Speaker 1: like a D. M. Spury and like DM a bunch
Speaker 1: of people. But the world doesn't need my face in
Speaker 1: it every day, you know. I think it's so interesting
Speaker 1: just finding a balance of posting what you want to
Speaker 1: share versus just like stressing over a photo. And like
Speaker 1: I remember, I stopped doing this because my brother told
Speaker 1: me not to. I listened to my brother a lot um,
Speaker 1: but he was like, I would delete photos if it
Speaker 1: didn't get enough lights, or if it wasn't whatever, and
Speaker 1: I was like, really upset because it was photos that
Speaker 1: I really liked. And then I her brother just said,
Speaker 1: if you like it, who cares? And then I clicked.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're right exactly. I had all of
Speaker 1: my likes. Now I don't want to see them. I
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I don't care. And that's helped
Speaker 1: a lot. And I've really appreciated that future coming out
Speaker 1: on Instagram specifically because it eliminates a lot of that
Speaker 1: stress and a lot of that anxiety surrounding how many
Speaker 1: people are caring about what I post. And I also
Speaker 1: feel like what really put things in a perspective for
Speaker 1: me was my mom told me. She was like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you follow someone on Instagram, you follow hundreds of people,
Speaker 1: and you're not paying attention to that one person every day.
Speaker 1: You know, no one's paying attention to you seven every
Speaker 1: hour of the day, so you don't have to be
Speaker 1: there all of the time. It's okay to take a
Speaker 1: step back and then come back when you're ready. And
Speaker 1: that's been really helpful for me. It's like you're not
Speaker 1: the world has revolved around you. I'm sure you can
Speaker 1: relate to this. It's like people forget, and I think
Speaker 1: it's It's one of the things that I've learned a
Speaker 1: lot throughout this podcast that I did not expect was
Speaker 1: how much the media takes a human out of the person.
Speaker 1: That people forget you're just nineteen, Like you're just a
Speaker 1: nineteen year old girl. And the fact that people put
Speaker 1: you on a pedestal as if you're not human, which
Speaker 1: happens so often I think is one of the most
Speaker 1: unhealthy parts of social media. Absolutely, yeah, that's That's definitely
Speaker 1: been something that um, I mean, I've tried to combat
Speaker 1: with being as authentically myself as I can all of
Speaker 1: the time and sharing things about my life that make
Speaker 1: me human to other people, because you know, to other people.
Speaker 1: Having a lot of followers, is this it's this big thing. Nothing,
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean anything. The same person I was, you know,
Speaker 1: three years ago, five years ago, nothing's changed. Um, But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy how You're absolutely right, it takes the human
Speaker 1: out of the person. It really does. And something I'm
Speaker 1: I'm from New York City. I just moved to California
Speaker 1: like a month ago for school, so I'm out here
Speaker 1: and I've been back and forth for work. It's something
Speaker 1: that I've realized that I was wondering if I could
Speaker 1: have your advice on if you will, because you're a
Speaker 1: veteran in this, I've been to, like some events, the
Speaker 1: way it is on social media is so not how
Speaker 1: it is in person. And there are so many fake
Speaker 1: interactions and so many people that are just so blatantly
Speaker 1: obvious trying to I want to say network, but I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even call it that. Do you know what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about? Absolutely, I've I've done it for years, and
Speaker 1: how do you navigate it? In the beginning, I didn't
Speaker 1: see it. I didn't see it for what it was.
Speaker 1: I was having fun. I was really young, like fourteen fifteen,
Speaker 1: having the best time. And then the older that I
Speaker 1: got and the more that you know, negative influences start
Speaker 1: to get involved, and the more that um, you see
Speaker 1: the culture of people stepping on other people to get
Speaker 1: to where they want to go. And I've never believed
Speaker 1: in that, and I've never caved to that. And I
Speaker 1: it's not that I'm above it. It's just that I
Speaker 1: surround myself with people that really love me quality over
Speaker 1: quantity exactly. Like my boyfriend doesn't do social media. My
Speaker 1: friends don't do social media really like my boyfriend posts
Speaker 1: like once a year, he posted on my birthday and
Speaker 1: I don't know how he's probably posted like twice since then.
Speaker 1: Um so yeah, I mean, no one around me really
Speaker 1: use the social media like that or does what I do.
Speaker 1: And that's helped a lot. That's so important. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I don't go to those things unless it's something that
Speaker 1: I'm shing it about or it's something that I'm excited for.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to sit in a room full
Speaker 1: of people that I know don't care about me, or
Speaker 1: are judging me, or are comparing themselves to me. It's
Speaker 1: a really unhealthy environment sometimes, and it's not one that
Speaker 1: I really feel like I need to be a part
Speaker 1: of to be successful. I I agree, and I don't
Speaker 1: know about you, but I'm more of a home baddie.
Speaker 1: I really like a fun night sounds like being around
Speaker 1: close friends, watching a fun movie and just hanging out exactly.
Speaker 1: That sounds ideal, and I think that's what It's hard
Speaker 1: for a lot of people to relate to is that
Speaker 1: you don't have to have big groups of people all
Speaker 1: around you to be happy. You can literally if you
Speaker 1: have one friend, that's all that matters. And I feel
Speaker 1: like when I was in the groups of people, that's
Speaker 1: when I was the unhappiest. Really, um yeah, because you know,
Speaker 1: you're you're constantly thinking of what someone's intentions are by
Speaker 1: being around you, or how this is benefiting them, and
Speaker 1: do the benefits out weigh if they really like me
Speaker 1: as a person. And I feel like everyone deals with
Speaker 1: that on their on their own scale, right, And it's
Speaker 1: just amplified when you get to a certain level and
Speaker 1: once you get involved with the social media world and
Speaker 1: everything like that. But um, I feel like everyone goes
Speaker 1: through it and it's just learning what works for you.
Speaker 1: Because for some people, they love it, they loved the party,
Speaker 1: they asked how they recharge. For me, it's just being alone.
Speaker 1: I just exactly. I prefer to be with my own
Speaker 1: self and my pets, a good face mask, exactly, And
Speaker 1: I'm not a big partier. I don't really enjoy that lifestyle. Um.
Speaker 1: If you do, no shame, enjoy it, not shame, But
Speaker 1: it's it's draining for me. I have very low energy
Speaker 1: to begin with, and that just sucks a life out
Speaker 1: of me, it really does. I. Yeah, I feel that
Speaker 1: my friends forced me to go to a dance club
Speaker 1: last weekend, which is something I do not want to do.
Speaker 1: But I was either that and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna push myself. We're going to do that. And
Speaker 1: I actually ran into a kid I went to middle
Speaker 1: school within New York City, which is so random. But
Speaker 1: after I left, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing
Speaker 1: that again. I'm glad I experienced it. Not the vibe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to experience it to to figure out where
Speaker 1: you fit in. And I feel like that again, that's
Speaker 1: the same for everyone. You have to, you know, try
Speaker 1: and try things out and see where you fit. And
Speaker 1: it's okay if you don't. And it took me a
Speaker 1: while too. Uh, I feel like it's it's okay to
Speaker 1: not it involved myself with things that don't make me
Speaker 1: happy because you feel like it's part of your job,
Speaker 1: but it's not. You're still a person and you still
Speaker 1: have um, you still have your own personal priorities that
Speaker 1: are important for your own mental health, and you don't
Speaker 1: have to sort of let that go to be a celebrity, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to be able to um keep certain parts
Speaker 1: of yourself for your health and find your own peace
Speaker 1: and have a life that isn't on social media because
Speaker 1: social media it's just a highlight reel. It really is,
Speaker 1: no matter like what you show with little clips, And
Speaker 1: I think it's so easy to forget that. How have
Speaker 1: you dealt with being nineteen and it's the time of
Speaker 1: our lives to really like put ourselves out there and
Speaker 1: experiment with different things. How have you dealt with that?
Speaker 1: But also you're dealing with it like on a public scale.
Speaker 1: How do you balance that? I mean, I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm a pretty I'm actually a pretty boring person. I
Speaker 1: mean I don't I don't really step outside my comfort
Speaker 1: zone very often, unless unless it's something performance wise or
Speaker 1: something crazy for work that I'm doing. But I feel
Speaker 1: like I did a lot of my experimenting really early
Speaker 1: because I got thrown into this so early. So I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm kind of jaded by a lot of
Speaker 1: things that a lot of people are excited for. It's
Speaker 1: so interesting. But it makes sense because you've been since
Speaker 1: you're thirteen. Yeah, so I left school in eighth grade,
Speaker 1: and I graduated in tenth grade. So I graduated when
Speaker 1: I was sixteen, and the world there there it was,
Speaker 1: and I had my own house and my mom lived
Speaker 1: with me at the time, but I was still able
Speaker 1: to go out and be with friends, and I did
Speaker 1: all of those things really early. So now I just
Speaker 1: like to do things that make me happy and feel
Speaker 1: at peace because I am so busy all of the time.
Speaker 1: And yeah, I have I love my house, and I
Speaker 1: love my boyfriend and we have a great time and
Speaker 1: that's pretty much it. So Okay, I have always felt
Speaker 1: a lot older than my actual age. What is your
Speaker 1: mental age do you think at this point? Because I
Speaker 1: have my own mental age, I feel like I'm a
Speaker 1: solid twenty eight. I'd say I'm a solid twenty six seven.
Speaker 1: I think I still have a little ways to go,
Speaker 1: But in terms of being able to, like you do,
Speaker 1: own a house, I hold the fourth down. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: cook and I clean. Why I don't cook. My boyfriend cooks,
Speaker 1: but I clean, and I take care of my animals
Speaker 1: and my response abilities, and I go to school and
Speaker 1: I work my job, and yeah, I feel like I've
Speaker 1: got it. You got your routine down, I've got my
Speaker 1: routine down, and that's why it's so hard for me
Speaker 1: to be experimental and crazy and wild because I have
Speaker 1: everything down and it can be boring. And sometimes I like, man,
Speaker 1: I'm only nineteen. I need to have fun, but it
Speaker 1: just doesn't. It's not fulfilling for me to, you know,
Speaker 1: go out until three am. Might go to bed like nine. Oh,
Speaker 1: that sounds so nice. I go to bed and nine,
Speaker 1: I wake up at like seven six thirty and the
Speaker 1: sun is rising, the birds are chirping, and that's what
Speaker 1: makes me happy. First of all, the thought of going
Speaker 1: to sleep at nine sounds so nice. Last year, during
Speaker 1: the pandemic, when I was a senior, I would just
Speaker 1: go to bed so early just because like everything was online.
Speaker 1: I was like, why would I stay up? There's no point,
Speaker 1: like whatever, and I fell in love with it. And
Speaker 1: now being in college, no one goes to sleep early.
Speaker 1: And it's like two am and I'm trying to stay up,
Speaker 1: but it's rough. Are you on campus? Like yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: in a dorm. Wow, it's weird. Okay, so what's that like?
Speaker 1: Because I don't know what that's like. So I'm only
Speaker 1: like three weeks in a month about it be a
Speaker 1: month in Okay, you made it. And it's been weird
Speaker 1: because my entire second half of junior and all of
Speaker 1: seniors online, So I already had a low social battery
Speaker 1: and now it's extra low from being alone or with
Speaker 1: my family for a year and a half. So I'm
Speaker 1: like trying to build it back up slowly but surely.
Speaker 1: But it's been really good. I've met some cool people.
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying the classes I'm taking. I majoring in broadcast
Speaker 1: journalism and documentary, so it's a very creative bas which
Speaker 1: is what I like. But it's different. It's a lot
Speaker 1: different than New York that I like that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I've always wondered what that's like because there's no
Speaker 1: way I could live in a do you know what,
Speaker 1: come visit. I will give you a toy of the campus.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's one of those things too, where
Speaker 1: it's like we're at a path specifically with our generation,
Speaker 1: where like people are breaking the bears of what you
Speaker 1: should do. You don't always have to go to college,
Speaker 1: you don't always have to do things the way we've
Speaker 1: thought we should have. What advice do you have for
Speaker 1: people struggling in school? Because I travel a lot in
Speaker 1: high school. I'm so glad I'm out of high school. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I never made it to high school, public high school
Speaker 1: I did. I did the online school. Um. Academically I
Speaker 1: did great, but socially not so great. Um. It was
Speaker 1: a really rough time and that's ultimately what led me
Speaker 1: to leave school and going to homeschool. But I think
Speaker 1: the biggest advice that I've I've given anyone who asks
Speaker 1: me that question is to remember that high school, middle school,
Speaker 1: wherever you're at, doesn't last forever. And even though it
Speaker 1: feels like it, even though it feels like it, and
Speaker 1: you're absolutely right, you don't want to be one of
Speaker 1: those people that peaks in a high schools. Where's the
Speaker 1: fun in that? You know, you have so much life
Speaker 1: to live, and whatever you're going through at this very moment,
Speaker 1: it's going to be so insignificant in the future that
Speaker 1: it's best to just focus on doing what you're there
Speaker 1: to do, get the job done, and get out, and
Speaker 1: if you enjoy it, have the best time. I didn't
Speaker 1: have that experience. I was miserable, and I've flourished ever since,
Speaker 1: and life has gone on and I'm happy and well,
Speaker 1: and I think that's That's what I wish I would
Speaker 1: have known, is like, this is a very small portion
Speaker 1: of what is going to be a very long life.
Speaker 1: And it's hard to believe that too when everything and
Speaker 1: everything feels so big and like life shattering, Like try
Speaker 1: and pull yourself out of it and realize, this too
Speaker 1: shall pass exactly. The sun's gonna rise in the morning
Speaker 1: and that will pass as well, just like this exactly.
Speaker 1: And my life fell apart. October of nineteen was Wait.
Speaker 1: That was the year for me where it was terrible. Wait.
Speaker 1: Same here, Okay, I'm here. I'm gonna hear your story. First,
Speaker 1: I dyed my hair brown and that really set it
Speaker 1: all off. I broke things off with my boyfriend of
Speaker 1: like three years, and I started, you know, new relationships
Speaker 1: and I that was weird and different for me, and
Speaker 1: there was a lot going on with that. Um my
Speaker 1: dog died. I had to put my dog down and
Speaker 1: I just started living by myself. My mom had just
Speaker 1: moved back home, and as soon as she moved back home,
Speaker 1: my dog, like I had to put her down. It
Speaker 1: was It's a really long story, but really sad. And
Speaker 1: I spent so much money trying to save this dog,
Speaker 1: and it was so difficult to like navigate that by
Speaker 1: myself for two weeks, trying to figure out how to
Speaker 1: keep this dog alive and learning how to live on
Speaker 1: my own. Um. I had my friend out here with me,
Speaker 1: but again she's my age, so we were both trying
Speaker 1: to figure it out together. It was really overwhelming, and
Speaker 1: I was like peek eating disorder, peak everything, peak depression.
Speaker 1: And I again dyed my hair brown, ruined my hair,
Speaker 1: and that was probably the worst thing that came out
Speaker 1: of it, other than my dog dying. That was really bad,
Speaker 1: but the hair part was also really terrible. And what
Speaker 1: what made you want to go brunette? Oh, wasn't just
Speaker 1: like a little bit of a mental breakdown, because I
Speaker 1: don't think I've ever died my hair in like a
Speaker 1: mentally good place. It's the teenage depression angst. It really
Speaker 1: makes you want to do something crazy. And you know,
Speaker 1: I visited home and my mom's a hairstylist, and I
Speaker 1: went home and I was like, I want to something crazy.
Speaker 1: And I think my mom was also going through something
Speaker 1: because she was she was like, yeah, let's do it,
Speaker 1: and she's never let me do that to my hair ever.
Speaker 1: So my hair is really like naturally, so trying to
Speaker 1: go back to that takes a lot of work, and
Speaker 1: it ended up pretty much all falling out along the
Speaker 1: top crown part of my head. That's my biggest fear,
Speaker 1: and it's only just now after almost two years, these
Speaker 1: pieces have finally grown down to like my chin. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you're still working on it, and one day I'll be
Speaker 1: back where I was and I'll be thriving. But it's
Speaker 1: just my constant reminder of October twenty nineteen and the
Speaker 1: dark times that ensued. Dude, Mine was November of twenty nineteen,
Speaker 1: I think so right around the same time. I was
Speaker 1: probably still feeling it in November. Yeah. Do you think
Speaker 1: social media just added to all of that as well
Speaker 1: during that time or do you think it was one
Speaker 1: of the things that helped. I think I think it
Speaker 1: can be both. I think it adds an extra pressure,
Speaker 1: but I also think having so many people that are
Speaker 1: there for you, UM is really helpful. And I say
Speaker 1: it a lot that like I have, I've always had
Speaker 1: a really close relationship with my fans. They've watched me
Speaker 1: grow and it's been a really special experience and a
Speaker 1: really amazing gift. UM so having people there that I
Speaker 1: know understand because they're also young and going through things.
Speaker 1: UM is really powerful and it's it's like being a
Speaker 1: part of a really powerful and loving and welcoming community.
Speaker 1: But it can also be a lot when it's your
Speaker 1: job aspect of things, because it's the constant pressure of
Speaker 1: keeping up and keeping up all of the time, and
Speaker 1: also your financially independent, you're also surviving on your own right.
Speaker 1: And I can't just say I'm done, because no, this
Speaker 1: is what I've chosen as my life, and this is
Speaker 1: my job. And I have to pay for college, and
Speaker 1: I have to pay for my house, and I have
Speaker 1: things to pay for. I have lots of animals in
Speaker 1: my house. How many animals have a cat, a dog,
Speaker 1: and four fish, and so I have two separate fish tanks,
Speaker 1: and I have a beta and two toutras and then
Speaker 1: another beta, and then I have a one eyed cat
Speaker 1: and a little Pomeranian. You have a one eyed cat.
Speaker 1: He's the best, He's so precious. Why do you he
Speaker 1: have one eye? Was he born that way? I adopted
Speaker 1: him and they basically said that he was found in
Speaker 1: like a hoarding situation, and he was very He's just
Speaker 1: like a little feral cat, and I think his eye
Speaker 1: was infected and they probably had to remove it. But
Speaker 1: he's a very sweet, gentle um cat and I feel
Speaker 1: like if he was on the streets with other cats,
Speaker 1: they definitely probably tore him up because he is just
Speaker 1: a little boy. Yeah, man, would you have any other
Speaker 1: adopt anymore animals at this point? Are you done for now?
Speaker 1: I think I'm done for now. It's a lot of
Speaker 1: responsibility and it's mostly my boyfriend's responsibility now because he
Speaker 1: works from home and I leave a lot. So you
Speaker 1: guys lived together, Yeah, we've lived together for like a
Speaker 1: year now. How is how how's that going? So the
Speaker 1: pandemic really forced us together, because you can make it
Speaker 1: through a pandemic, though, you can make it through anything exactly. Um. Basically,
Speaker 1: he was living with his sisters and they were like, hey,
Speaker 1: if you're going to keep going over there, like COVID
Speaker 1: is a thing, so like just stay there, and he
Speaker 1: was like okay, So he moved in with me. And
Speaker 1: how long were you dating at that point? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I don't even know. Like it was really quick. It
Speaker 1: couldn't have been like more than I want to say,
Speaker 1: like three or four months maximum. Really it happened really
Speaker 1: fast because we just pandemic. Things are different and he
Speaker 1: didn't have a car at the time, so I was
Speaker 1: we were making it work that way, and my parents
Speaker 1: were like, I wanted me to have someone there with
Speaker 1: me because I was living in a big house by myself,
Speaker 1: and um, they liked him and it was cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's been living with me. I mean it's a little
Speaker 1: different when you're independent. I mean, life moves a little quicker.
Speaker 1: So we get along great, we don't fight. We're best friends,
Speaker 1: and he helps me take care of everything. He cooks
Speaker 1: and cleans and he's the best. You know what. I
Speaker 1: think that's so important that you guys kind of like
Speaker 1: your own lives and then absolutely then add to each other.
Speaker 1: Is because when people say it's like your half of
Speaker 1: your half of me, it's like, no, you should be
Speaker 1: your whole person exactly to that exactly. And I think
Speaker 1: that that's important. And I've I've never had a real
Speaker 1: stable relationship before, so this has been really exciting and
Speaker 1: it's worked out really well. We have to take a
Speaker 1: quick break, but when we come back, I'm going to
Speaker 1: talk more about relationships, advice, and much more we'll be
Speaker 1: right back and we're back. Okay. What's any relationship advice,
Speaker 1: like the one thing you wish you learned? Oh my gosh, Um,
Speaker 1: I wish I knew how to I wish I knew
Speaker 1: before how to leave when it was time to leave.
Speaker 1: I feel like I always stayed, hoping that things would
Speaker 1: work out and that um, everything would be great. And
Speaker 1: it's not. He's not a bad guy. It's just he's
Speaker 1: just having a bad day. And I feel like I
Speaker 1: was going through it. Yeah, and I neglected myself in
Speaker 1: the process of trying to make other people happy. And
Speaker 1: I feel like you have to prioritize yourself if you
Speaker 1: want to make other people happy. Right, So, if you
Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship and you want to
Speaker 1: be a part of a unit, you have to be
Speaker 1: able to work as your own person first and understand
Speaker 1: you know your values and you're and learn to respect
Speaker 1: yourself and love yourself and no one to let go.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like it took me a while.
Speaker 1: It took me to being in a healthy relationship to
Speaker 1: look back and be like, what was I doing that?
Speaker 1: With social media and just comparing yourself, you're like, well,
Speaker 1: I want this relationship and this is what it looks like.
Speaker 1: So no relationship is no relationship is perever and you
Speaker 1: had to be to find the person that you're willing
Speaker 1: to put the effort in with um and stick it
Speaker 1: out with. I watched Dr Phil a lot, and Doctor
Speaker 1: I've been watching opra clips when I've been getting ready,
Speaker 1: and I guess what I watched. I watched Dr Phil
Speaker 1: when I get ready, and Dr Phil says, people get
Speaker 1: divorced and people break up too easily, and you have
Speaker 1: to find a person that you're willing to stick it
Speaker 1: out with. And I think it's absolutely right. Go Phil.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? My favorite Doctor Phil quote is
Speaker 1: what I don't say but because that means forget what
Speaker 1: I just said, and here's what I really meant exactly.
Speaker 1: Especially it's very much sensationalized, like the worst case of everything.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, you know what, my life, My life
Speaker 1: is good, like I don't have to deal with a
Speaker 1: great life, Like I love a great life. He loves
Speaker 1: to say the dog, what is the tail wagon? The
Speaker 1: dog all the time anyway? Stupid? But yeah, that's my
Speaker 1: guilty pleasure. It's not even a guilty pleasure. I just
Speaker 1: need background noise in the morning and the same way.
Speaker 1: I just tune in every now and then. You know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been liking Oprah. I was doctor Phil far On.
Speaker 1: I've been doing Opra clips on YouTube. I need to
Speaker 1: check that one out because I really really dived to
Speaker 1: note quite yet watch her her watch her a Thing
Speaker 1: with Maya Angelo. Okay, I'll check it out. It was
Speaker 1: like therapy just watching I recommend which I probably need,
Speaker 1: so I will check that out. You know, we all
Speaker 1: need therapy. That's the thing. I love therapy. I think
Speaker 1: it's healthy. I you know what. I'm so glad you
Speaker 1: said that because so many people are like, because there's
Speaker 1: such a stigma with it. Everyone says you gotta work out,
Speaker 1: you should work out your mind. And that's what therapy is.
Speaker 1: Absolutely and I feel like, um, you're doing yourself a favor,
Speaker 1: You're growing as a person. It's okay to ask for help.
Speaker 1: I feel like so many people are for you to
Speaker 1: ask for help or even just if you don't need it,
Speaker 1: just to have you know, though you might think you
Speaker 1: don't need it, and you get there and you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, I really did. I needed that. You've
Speaker 1: been an influencer for almost a third of your life,
Speaker 1: which is crazy, and you have millions of followers, and
Speaker 1: you've done a bunch of press, you've done interviews. My
Speaker 1: question is, how do you keep it real and authentic
Speaker 1: when everything and everyone seems to be so media train
Speaker 1: these days. I think media training is a great thing
Speaker 1: for anyone who's you know, doing this or wants to
Speaker 1: do this, or want someone to talk to and tell
Speaker 1: them what they're comfortable with. UM, It's very helpful. And
Speaker 1: I think also there's a balance between you know, being
Speaker 1: yourself and also like saying things in a certain way,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like everything, Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: I've had experiences where everything is so media training to
Speaker 1: the point where it's like you're not even having a
Speaker 1: conversation with someone, but you're like kind of having a
Speaker 1: conversation with a robot, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And it's it's like a balance between the two. Like
Speaker 1: you ask a question, I'm doing great, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: My new single and this relates back to my new
Speaker 1: single because in this song, like yeah, you never wanted
Speaker 1: to be that, But I think it's it's important to
Speaker 1: know your boundaries and able to have a conversation and
Speaker 1: feel comfortable going into it and confident going into it. Um,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I appreciate I appreciate the work that media
Speaker 1: media training people do because I I spill them's crazy.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And here's my problem is, like I I
Speaker 1: sometimes overshare and I can go way off topic and
Speaker 1: I've learned how to keep things on track and not
Speaker 1: get too like weirdly personal, like I get like strangely personally,
Speaker 1: Like what do you mean? I did an interview once
Speaker 1: where I started talking about how I like have a
Speaker 1: nervous habit of pulling off my pinky toe nails. But
Speaker 1: I really went into detail about it. Wait, how do
Speaker 1: you do that? I just pull them off? That's impressive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't have them there. They bothered me, and
Speaker 1: I just pull them off. It doesn't hurt. My toes
Speaker 1: are like used to it. Anyway. I'm doing exactly what
Speaker 1: I said I wasn't. But this is the stuff that
Speaker 1: I like because it's actually an actual conversation. It is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I wear a lot of heels and they
Speaker 1: start to like pull up a little bit, and then
Speaker 1: I just yank them off. And if I don't have
Speaker 1: nails on, Like I don't have nails on right now.
Speaker 1: I pull my nails off and then they get all
Speaker 1: nubby and small. How you deal with long nails? I
Speaker 1: love the way they look, but I just can't stand
Speaker 1: the feeling of long nails. You get used to it
Speaker 1: like anything. I mean, I really love not having nails
Speaker 1: because I can do things like open cans. But when
Speaker 1: I have nails, I like open cans with my teeth
Speaker 1: or I do a lot of things with my teeth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I never get them super super long, like some
Speaker 1: girls get them super long, and that I don't. I
Speaker 1: would stab myself. Yeah. I feel like I feel claustrophobic
Speaker 1: in my hands. Yeah. I feel like my range of
Speaker 1: motion deteriorating absolutely. Yeah. And I feel like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I feel like this is refreshing. People forget your human
Speaker 1: and I feel like these kind of things make people remember.
Speaker 1: Let's see I was able to keep it short and sweet. Yes,
Speaker 1: I pull my toe nails off. And are there any
Speaker 1: other fun facts? Oh? Boy, let me think I'm sure
Speaker 1: there is. Let's get weird, man. I have a lot
Speaker 1: it's called let this podcast is called Let's be Real.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of weird things. Um, I have
Speaker 1: to think, I don't even know. Okay, while you're thinking
Speaker 1: of something else. One other thing I want to talk
Speaker 1: to you about is how you've learned to appreciate and
Speaker 1: love yourself. And I feel like it's a journey that
Speaker 1: everyone is on, but social media and being a teenager
Speaker 1: has made it very difficult for me, and I'm sure
Speaker 1: many others. Do you struggle with this also? Oh of course.
Speaker 1: I mean some days I wake up and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm the baddest bitch on earth. I
Speaker 1: can I can do anything, I can be anything. And
Speaker 1: then some days I wake up and I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a worm. I'm a worm. Yeah, I'm a little rouch,
Speaker 1: I'm a little bean. And those days I just bask
Speaker 1: in it. And then on those days when I don't
Speaker 1: feel so great about myself, I just allow myself to
Speaker 1: feel that way and just be like, you know what,
Speaker 1: embrace it. I'm not perfect every day, and even in
Speaker 1: the days when I think I'm perfect, I'm still not so.
Speaker 1: Or even the one days when I when I want
Speaker 1: to be perfect, I'm still not so. I think it's
Speaker 1: just you know, embracing the parts of you that make
Speaker 1: you special, and I mean, living in l A, it's
Speaker 1: really hard because anyone can look like whatever they want
Speaker 1: to look like. Yeah, yes, yeah, I realized that that's
Speaker 1: something that's very different In New York. I feel like, yes,
Speaker 1: everyone looks kind of copy and paste. Yeah, And I've
Speaker 1: I've made it a point, and I don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: if people want to get work done, if it makes
Speaker 1: you feel better, then do it. I mean, do it
Speaker 1: for the right reason, to do what makes you feel happy.
Speaker 1: But I feel like being surrounded by people in l A,
Speaker 1: I feel like you start to feel like you need
Speaker 1: to fit into this mold of what everyone else looks like.
Speaker 1: And I've made it a point that like, I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't allow myself to do that because I still
Speaker 1: want to be me and I don't want to look
Speaker 1: like anyone else. In some days, I'm like, man, I
Speaker 1: could fix my nose, I could fix my mouth, and
Speaker 1: then um, I just I revert back to you know what,
Speaker 1: this is what makes me look like me? I only
Speaker 1: need to look like everyone else and want to look
Speaker 1: like everything else, and so it But just I like
Speaker 1: what makes me special? But You're made this way for
Speaker 1: a reason. Exactly. Yeah, and I feel like I feel
Speaker 1: like that's that's a really powerful thing to realize. Would
Speaker 1: you say going into music has helped you with yourself
Speaker 1: confidence at all? Um? I think that the most special
Speaker 1: things come out of music for me is is being
Speaker 1: surrounded by people that enjoy the same things that I do,
Speaker 1: love that feel exactly. They make me feel loved and
Speaker 1: they make me feel like, you know, my ideas are good.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's helped me a lot in
Speaker 1: that sense. Of course, writing music is therapeutic in itself, um,
Speaker 1: but for me it was sort of I used to
Speaker 1: have my mom used to say because I had so
Speaker 1: many influencer friends and I'm almost like any more music friends.
Speaker 1: And then now I have no influencer friends and all
Speaker 1: music friends, so it's going completely the other way. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I just enjoy being around those people that
Speaker 1: like share mentests and you care about the same things,
Speaker 1: and that's been really helpful for me feeling like I'm supported,
Speaker 1: and that's that's been very very helpful for a lot.
Speaker 1: We have to take one more quick break, but when
Speaker 1: we come back, I'm want to talk with you about
Speaker 1: some of the cool entrepreneurial things you're getting into. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back. You have quite a busy schedule, like
Speaker 1: doing a lot and I just saw launching sunglasses. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did that happen? Is? Are you doing that? Like?
Speaker 1: I know you're studying business. Is has that been helpful?
Speaker 1: Like learning all of that going into the businesses you're
Speaker 1: actually creating. Yeah, I mean where I'm at in college
Speaker 1: right now, it's not really applying yet, right, I haven't been.
Speaker 1: I'm doing the basics right now. I'm like English one
Speaker 1: oh two, okay, but not one on one but one
Speaker 1: oh two. But to be fair, I already sad one
Speaker 1: on one when no one was great. I loved it.
Speaker 1: I love English. Um. But I feel like the reason
Speaker 1: why I felt like college is important for me is
Speaker 1: because when I'm so consumed by social media every day,
Speaker 1: it's so easy to forget that I have a brain
Speaker 1: and that I need to keep expanding my knowledge and
Speaker 1: expanding my vocabulary and um, you know, working my brain
Speaker 1: and exercising what makes me an intelligent person. Um. So
Speaker 1: that's been really helpful when it comes to business and
Speaker 1: my job, because I feel like my brain is already
Speaker 1: warmed up. Yeah, I'm not like right and I'm not
Speaker 1: completely you know, my brain is not mush from social
Speaker 1: media and reading text posts all day like I have.
Speaker 1: I have some articulate, you know, words that I could
Speaker 1: pull out and be well spoken. Favorite word as of
Speaker 1: recent oh my gosh. Well, I've been writing a lot
Speaker 1: of essays and my favorite word to use right now
Speaker 1: is like macabre because we're doing like a whole gothic thing.
Speaker 1: Gothic literature is great, and that's been really fun for me.
Speaker 1: It's really cool. I've been liking using the word conundrum.
Speaker 1: But I have an issue. Oh that's a good one.
Speaker 1: I have a conundrum. Yeah. I've been me owing a lot,
Speaker 1: so have I I can do a really good me ow. Actually,
Speaker 1: let's hear it. See that was good. I think it
Speaker 1: was pretty good. Yeah, what about you? I literally yes,
Speaker 1: I walked out to my roommate just me out, like
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Oh? At the shoot today, I
Speaker 1: couldn't stop. It was everything or like it's a it's
Speaker 1: a vibe, yeh. Can we make me owing a thing now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It's like a it's like a personality trait. If you've
Speaker 1: gone this far into this podcast, please leave a cat
Speaker 1: emoji in the comments. Um show you are a real one. Yeah, Lauren,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on my podcast. It
Speaker 1: was so great to meet you. Thanks. This is a
Speaker 1: great conversation. I hope you had a fun time. You're wonderful.
Speaker 1: Thank you of course. Thank you guys so much for
Speaker 1: listening to this week's episode of the Let's Be Real Podcast. Lauren,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming on. It was so great to
Speaker 1: talk to. Make sure you follow her on her social media,
Speaker 1: Lauren Gray if you haven't already, and subscribe to the
Speaker 1: podcast and leave a comment. If you have made it
Speaker 1: this far, make sure you do leave that cat emoji somewhere.
Speaker 1: Make sure you rate it, and also follow me on
Speaker 1: Instagram at It's Sammy J. That's I T S S
Speaker 1: A M M Y J A y E. And I
Speaker 1: will see you guys next week for another episode. Bye.