1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Sammy and welcome to this week's episode 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: of the Let's Be Real Podcast. This week, I am 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,240 Speaker 1: joined by influencer Lauren Gray. You may know her from Instagram. 4 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: From social media, she's millions of followers spanning a bunch 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: of apps, and she's a very interesting perspective as she's 6 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: been in this business for over six years herself. She's 7 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: only nineteen my age, and she's got a great perspective 8 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 1: on relationships, friendships, social media, and much more. I hope 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: you guys enjoyed. Lauren. I am so happy you're on 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: my podcast. This is so exciting. I'm very excited to 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: talk to you about social media and for me personally, 12 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: I have an interesting relationship with social media and since that, 13 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: I am struggling finding a healthy balance with it where 14 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can relate it's a business, but at 15 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: the same time, you're nineteen year old girl in social 16 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: media can be really hard, right and you're a nineteen 17 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, yeah, it can be really difficult. Um. 18 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: I feel like it took me a really long time 19 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: I'm to find that balance because I think when when 20 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: I hit seventeen, I burnt out and I you know, 21 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: I've been doing it since I was thirteen, and and 22 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: that's a shitty feeling to have burnt out at seven. Right, 23 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: you don't want and you you wanted to be fun 24 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: and you wanted to be something that you're passionate about. Um, 25 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: but then when it turns into a job and now 26 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: it's a requirement, it feels like waking up for school, 27 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 1: like waking up and getting ready for something that you're 28 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: obligated to do. And I feel like I hit that 29 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: wall at seventeen, and then I sort of had to 30 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 1: rediscover where I fit and what I needed to do 31 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,759 Speaker 1: to make myself feel good about it again. Um So yeah, 32 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: the past two years, I've been figuring it out and 33 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: I feel like now I'm in a good place with it. 34 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: So what do you do to not have breakdowns from Instagram? Well, 35 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: I asking for a friend when I was sixteen and 36 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: I was waking up every morning, do I make up 37 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: hair story poster? Like back to back to back and 38 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: your screen time? It was insane. It was all day 39 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: and I missed out and going out with friends, and 40 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: I missed out on different things that you do in 41 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: life because I was so organized and had all of 42 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: my social media scheduled and planned, and actually, for like, 43 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: social media is shifting in a really helpful way right 44 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: now to where you don't have to post a million 45 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: stories and you don't have to constantly be there all 46 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: the time. Sometimes it's actually more beneficial to take a 47 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: step back and let people miss you a little bit. 48 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: And I was, I was so on it all of 49 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: the time, and it can really, it can really be 50 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: destructive because you want to have fun and you want 51 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: to share things that you enjoy. And I don't want 52 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: to just post selfies every day, Like some days I 53 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: hate the way I look and I don't want to 54 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: post that. So um now I just post whenever I 55 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: feel like I have something to share, and if I don't, 56 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: then I don't love that. I find other things to do, 57 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: Like I'll talk to fans, or I'll do like a 58 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: like a D. M. Spury and like DM a bunch 59 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: of people. But the world doesn't need my face in 60 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: it every day, you know. I think it's so interesting 61 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 1: just finding a balance of posting what you want to 62 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: share versus just like stressing over a photo. And like 63 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: I remember, I stopped doing this because my brother told 64 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: me not to. I listened to my brother a lot um, 65 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: but he was like, I would delete photos if it 66 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: didn't get enough lights, or if it wasn't whatever, and 67 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: I was like, really upset because it was photos that 68 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: I really liked. And then I her brother just said, 69 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: if you like it, who cares? And then I clicked. 70 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: I was like, you're right exactly. I had all of 71 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: my likes. Now I don't want to see them. I 72 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: don't want to know. I don't care. And that's helped 73 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: a lot. And I've really appreciated that future coming out 74 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: on Instagram specifically because it eliminates a lot of that 75 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: stress and a lot of that anxiety surrounding how many 76 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: people are caring about what I post. And I also 77 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: feel like what really put things in a perspective for 78 00:03:55,280 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: me was my mom told me. She was like, you know, 79 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: when you follow someone on Instagram, you follow hundreds of people, 80 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: and you're not paying attention to that one person every day. 81 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,240 Speaker 1: You know, no one's paying attention to you seven every 82 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: hour of the day, so you don't have to be 83 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: there all of the time. It's okay to take a 84 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: step back and then come back when you're ready. And 85 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: that's been really helpful for me. It's like you're not 86 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,840 Speaker 1: the world has revolved around you. I'm sure you can 87 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: relate to this. It's like people forget, and I think 88 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: it's It's one of the things that I've learned a 89 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: lot throughout this podcast that I did not expect was 90 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: how much the media takes a human out of the person. 91 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 1: That people forget you're just nineteen, Like you're just a 92 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: nineteen year old girl. And the fact that people put 93 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: you on a pedestal as if you're not human, which 94 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: happens so often I think is one of the most 95 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: unhealthy parts of social media. Absolutely, yeah, that's That's definitely 96 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: been something that um, I mean, I've tried to combat 97 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 1: with being as authentically myself as I can all of 98 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: the time and sharing things about my life that make 99 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,919 Speaker 1: me human to other people, because you know, to other people. 100 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: Having a lot of followers, is this it's this big thing. Nothing, 101 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean anything. The same person I was, you know, 102 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: three years ago, five years ago, nothing's changed. Um, But yeah, 103 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 1: it's crazy how You're absolutely right, it takes the human 104 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: out of the person. It really does. And something I'm 105 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: I'm from New York City. I just moved to California 106 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: like a month ago for school, so I'm out here 107 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 1: and I've been back and forth for work. It's something 108 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: that I've realized that I was wondering if I could 109 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: have your advice on if you will, because you're a 110 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: veteran in this, I've been to, like some events, the 111 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: way it is on social media is so not how 112 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: it is in person. And there are so many fake 113 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: interactions and so many people that are just so blatantly 114 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: obvious trying to I want to say network, but I 115 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 1: wouldn't even call it that. Do you know what I'm 116 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 1: talking about? Absolutely, I've I've done it for years, and 117 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: how do you navigate it? In the beginning, I didn't 118 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 1: see it. I didn't see it for what it was. 119 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: I was having fun. I was really young, like fourteen fifteen, 120 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: having the best time. And then the older that I 121 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: got and the more that you know, negative influences start 122 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: to get involved, and the more that um, you see 123 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: the culture of people stepping on other people to get 124 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: to where they want to go. And I've never believed 125 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: in that, and I've never caved to that. And I 126 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: it's not that I'm above it. It's just that I 127 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 1: surround myself with people that really love me quality over 128 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: quantity exactly. Like my boyfriend doesn't do social media. My 129 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: friends don't do social media really like my boyfriend posts 130 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: like once a year, he posted on my birthday and 131 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,159 Speaker 1: I don't know how he's probably posted like twice since then. 132 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: Um so yeah, I mean, no one around me really 133 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: use the social media like that or does what I do. 134 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: And that's helped a lot. That's so important. Yeah, And 135 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: I don't go to those things unless it's something that 136 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm shing it about or it's something that I'm excited for. 137 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: But I don't want to sit in a room full 138 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: of people that I know don't care about me, or 139 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: are judging me, or are comparing themselves to me. It's 140 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: a really unhealthy environment sometimes, and it's not one that 141 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: I really feel like I need to be a part 142 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: of to be successful. I I agree, and I don't 143 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: know about you, but I'm more of a home baddie. 144 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: I really like a fun night sounds like being around 145 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: close friends, watching a fun movie and just hanging out exactly. 146 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: That sounds ideal, and I think that's what It's hard 147 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: for a lot of people to relate to is that 148 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: you don't have to have big groups of people all 149 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: around you to be happy. You can literally if you 150 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: have one friend, that's all that matters. And I feel 151 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 1: like when I was in the groups of people, that's 152 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: when I was the unhappiest. Really, um yeah, because you know, 153 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: you're you're constantly thinking of what someone's intentions are by 154 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: being around you, or how this is benefiting them, and 155 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: do the benefits out weigh if they really like me 156 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: as a person. And I feel like everyone deals with 157 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: that on their on their own scale, right, And it's 158 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: just amplified when you get to a certain level and 159 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: once you get involved with the social media world and 160 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: everything like that. But um, I feel like everyone goes 161 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: through it and it's just learning what works for you. 162 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: Because for some people, they love it, they loved the party, 163 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: they asked how they recharge. For me, it's just being alone. 164 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: I just exactly. I prefer to be with my own 165 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: self and my pets, a good face mask, exactly, And 166 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: I'm not a big partier. I don't really enjoy that lifestyle. Um. 167 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: If you do, no shame, enjoy it, not shame, But 168 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,679 Speaker 1: it's it's draining for me. I have very low energy 169 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,959 Speaker 1: to begin with, and that just sucks a life out 170 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: of me, it really does. I. Yeah, I feel that 171 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: my friends forced me to go to a dance club 172 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,320 Speaker 1: last weekend, which is something I do not want to do. 173 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: But I was either that and I was like, Okay, 174 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,839 Speaker 1: I'm gonna push myself. We're going to do that. And 175 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: I actually ran into a kid I went to middle 176 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: school within New York City, which is so random. But 177 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: after I left, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing 178 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: that again. I'm glad I experienced it. Not the vibe. Yeah, 179 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: you have to experience it to to figure out where 180 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: you fit in. And I feel like that again, that's 181 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:23,960 Speaker 1: the same for everyone. You have to, you know, try 182 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 1: and try things out and see where you fit. And 183 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 1: it's okay if you don't. And it took me a 184 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: while too. Uh, I feel like it's it's okay to 185 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: not it involved myself with things that don't make me 186 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: happy because you feel like it's part of your job, 187 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 1: but it's not. You're still a person and you still 188 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:46,079 Speaker 1: have um, you still have your own personal priorities that 189 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: are important for your own mental health, and you don't 190 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:55,960 Speaker 1: have to sort of let that go to be a celebrity, Like, yeah, 191 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: you have to be able to um keep certain parts 192 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: of yourself for your health and find your own peace 193 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: and have a life that isn't on social media because 194 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: social media it's just a highlight reel. It really is, 195 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 1: no matter like what you show with little clips, And 196 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: I think it's so easy to forget that. How have 197 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: you dealt with being nineteen and it's the time of 198 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: our lives to really like put ourselves out there and 199 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: experiment with different things. How have you dealt with that? 200 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: But also you're dealing with it like on a public scale. 201 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: How do you balance that? I mean, I feel like 202 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: I'm a pretty I'm actually a pretty boring person. I 203 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 1: mean I don't I don't really step outside my comfort 204 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: zone very often, unless unless it's something performance wise or 205 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: something crazy for work that I'm doing. But I feel 206 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: like I did a lot of my experimenting really early 207 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: because I got thrown into this so early. So I 208 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: feel like I'm kind of jaded by a lot of 209 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: things that a lot of people are excited for. It's 210 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: so interesting. But it makes sense because you've been since 211 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,199 Speaker 1: you're thirteen. Yeah, so I left school in eighth grade, 212 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 1: and I graduated in tenth grade. So I graduated when 213 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: I was sixteen, and the world there there it was, 214 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: and I had my own house and my mom lived 215 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: with me at the time, but I was still able 216 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: to go out and be with friends, and I did 217 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: all of those things really early. So now I just 218 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 1: like to do things that make me happy and feel 219 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: at peace because I am so busy all of the time. 220 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,679 Speaker 1: And yeah, I have I love my house, and I 221 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,440 Speaker 1: love my boyfriend and we have a great time and 222 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: that's pretty much it. So Okay, I have always felt 223 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 1: a lot older than my actual age. What is your 224 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: mental age do you think at this point? Because I 225 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: have my own mental age, I feel like I'm a 226 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: solid twenty eight. I'd say I'm a solid twenty six seven. 227 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: I think I still have a little ways to go, 228 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: But in terms of being able to, like you do, 229 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: own a house, I hold the fourth down. Yeah, I 230 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: cook and I clean. Why I don't cook. My boyfriend cooks, 231 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: but I clean, and I take care of my animals 232 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: and my response abilities, and I go to school and 233 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: I work my job, and yeah, I feel like I've 234 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: got it. You got your routine down, I've got my 235 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: routine down, and that's why it's so hard for me 236 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: to be experimental and crazy and wild because I have 237 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: everything down and it can be boring. And sometimes I like, man, 238 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,959 Speaker 1: I'm only nineteen. I need to have fun, but it 239 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: just doesn't. It's not fulfilling for me to, you know, 240 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: go out until three am. Might go to bed like nine. Oh, 241 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: that sounds so nice. I go to bed and nine, 242 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: I wake up at like seven six thirty and the 243 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: sun is rising, the birds are chirping, and that's what 244 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 1: makes me happy. First of all, the thought of going 245 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: to sleep at nine sounds so nice. Last year, during 246 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: the pandemic, when I was a senior, I would just 247 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: go to bed so early just because like everything was online. 248 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 1: I was like, why would I stay up? There's no point, 249 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: like whatever, and I fell in love with it. And 250 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: now being in college, no one goes to sleep early. 251 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: And it's like two am and I'm trying to stay up, 252 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: but it's rough. Are you on campus? Like yeah, I'm 253 00:12:56,000 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 1: in a dorm. Wow, it's weird. Okay, so what's that like? 254 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: Because I don't know what that's like. So I'm only 255 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: like three weeks in a month about it be a 256 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: month in Okay, you made it. And it's been weird 257 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: because my entire second half of junior and all of 258 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,079 Speaker 1: seniors online, So I already had a low social battery 259 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 1: and now it's extra low from being alone or with 260 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 1: my family for a year and a half. So I'm 261 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 1: like trying to build it back up slowly but surely. 262 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 1: But it's been really good. I've met some cool people. 263 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: I'm enjoying the classes I'm taking. I majoring in broadcast 264 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: journalism and documentary, so it's a very creative bas which 265 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: is what I like. But it's different. It's a lot 266 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: different than New York that I like that. Yeah, I 267 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,560 Speaker 1: mean I've always wondered what that's like because there's no 268 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: way I could live in a do you know what, 269 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,959 Speaker 1: come visit. I will give you a toy of the campus. 270 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: I love it. It's one of those things too, where 271 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: it's like we're at a path specifically with our generation, 272 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: where like people are breaking the bears of what you 273 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,360 Speaker 1: should do. You don't always have to go to college, 274 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 1: you don't always have to do things the way we've 275 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: thought we should have. What advice do you have for 276 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: people struggling in school? Because I travel a lot in 277 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: high school. I'm so glad I'm out of high school. Yeah. 278 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: I never made it to high school, public high school 279 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:16,160 Speaker 1: I did. I did the online school. Um. Academically I 280 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: did great, but socially not so great. Um. It was 281 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: a really rough time and that's ultimately what led me 282 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: to leave school and going to homeschool. But I think 283 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: the biggest advice that I've I've given anyone who asks 284 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: me that question is to remember that high school, middle school, 285 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: wherever you're at, doesn't last forever. And even though it 286 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: feels like it, even though it feels like it, and 287 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 1: you're absolutely right, you don't want to be one of 288 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: those people that peaks in a high schools. Where's the 289 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: fun in that? You know, you have so much life 290 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: to live, and whatever you're going through at this very moment, 291 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 1: it's going to be so insignificant in the future that 292 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: it's best to just focus on doing what you're there 293 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 1: to do, get the job done, and get out, and 294 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: if you enjoy it, have the best time. I didn't 295 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: have that experience. I was miserable, and I've flourished ever since, 296 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: and life has gone on and I'm happy and well, 297 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: and I think that's That's what I wish I would 298 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: have known, is like, this is a very small portion 299 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: of what is going to be a very long life. 300 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: And it's hard to believe that too when everything and 301 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: everything feels so big and like life shattering, Like try 302 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: and pull yourself out of it and realize, this too 303 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: shall pass exactly. The sun's gonna rise in the morning 304 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,680 Speaker 1: and that will pass as well, just like this exactly. 305 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 1: And my life fell apart. October of nineteen was Wait. 306 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: That was the year for me where it was terrible. Wait. 307 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: Same here, Okay, I'm here. I'm gonna hear your story. First, 308 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 1: I dyed my hair brown and that really set it 309 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 1: all off. I broke things off with my boyfriend of 310 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:53,680 Speaker 1: like three years, and I started, you know, new relationships 311 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: and I that was weird and different for me, and 312 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: there was a lot going on with that. Um my 313 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 1: dog died. I had to put my dog down and 314 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: I just started living by myself. My mom had just 315 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: moved back home, and as soon as she moved back home, 316 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 1: my dog, like I had to put her down. It 317 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: was It's a really long story, but really sad. And 318 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,600 Speaker 1: I spent so much money trying to save this dog, 319 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: and it was so difficult to like navigate that by 320 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: myself for two weeks, trying to figure out how to 321 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 1: keep this dog alive and learning how to live on 322 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: my own. Um. I had my friend out here with me, 323 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 1: but again she's my age, so we were both trying 324 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: to figure it out together. It was really overwhelming, and 325 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: I was like peek eating disorder, peak everything, peak depression. 326 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: And I again dyed my hair brown, ruined my hair, 327 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: and that was probably the worst thing that came out 328 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: of it, other than my dog dying. That was really bad, 329 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: but the hair part was also really terrible. And what 330 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: what made you want to go brunette? Oh, wasn't just 331 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 1: like a little bit of a mental breakdown, because I 332 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 1: don't think I've ever died my hair in like a 333 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: mentally good place. It's the teenage depression angst. It really 334 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 1: makes you want to do something crazy. And you know, 335 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 1: I visited home and my mom's a hairstylist, and I 336 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 1: went home and I was like, I want to something crazy. 337 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 1: And I think my mom was also going through something 338 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,120 Speaker 1: because she was she was like, yeah, let's do it, 339 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 1: and she's never let me do that to my hair ever. 340 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: So my hair is really like naturally, so trying to 341 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,960 Speaker 1: go back to that takes a lot of work, and 342 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: it ended up pretty much all falling out along the 343 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: top crown part of my head. That's my biggest fear, 344 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,680 Speaker 1: and it's only just now after almost two years, these 345 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: pieces have finally grown down to like my chin. But yeah, 346 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 1: you're still working on it, and one day I'll be 347 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 1: back where I was and I'll be thriving. But it's 348 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 1: just my constant reminder of October twenty nineteen and the 349 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: dark times that ensued. Dude, Mine was November of twenty nineteen, 350 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 1: I think so right around the same time. I was 351 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: probably still feeling it in November. Yeah. Do you think 352 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 1: social media just added to all of that as well 353 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,919 Speaker 1: during that time or do you think it was one 354 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,240 Speaker 1: of the things that helped. I think I think it 355 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 1: can be both. I think it adds an extra pressure, 356 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,920 Speaker 1: but I also think having so many people that are 357 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: there for you, UM is really helpful. And I say 358 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,239 Speaker 1: it a lot that like I have, I've always had 359 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: a really close relationship with my fans. They've watched me 360 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 1: grow and it's been a really special experience and a 361 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 1: really amazing gift. UM so having people there that I 362 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: know understand because they're also young and going through things. 363 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: UM is really powerful and it's it's like being a 364 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: part of a really powerful and loving and welcoming community. 365 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: But it can also be a lot when it's your 366 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 1: job aspect of things, because it's the constant pressure of 367 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,159 Speaker 1: keeping up and keeping up all of the time, and 368 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 1: also your financially independent, you're also surviving on your own right. 369 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: And I can't just say I'm done, because no, this 370 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 1: is what I've chosen as my life, and this is 371 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 1: my job. And I have to pay for college, and 372 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: I have to pay for my house, and I have 373 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 1: things to pay for. I have lots of animals in 374 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: my house. How many animals have a cat, a dog, 375 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: and four fish, and so I have two separate fish tanks, 376 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: and I have a beta and two toutras and then 377 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 1: another beta, and then I have a one eyed cat 378 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: and a little Pomeranian. You have a one eyed cat. 379 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: He's the best, He's so precious. Why do you he 380 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: have one eye? Was he born that way? I adopted 381 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: him and they basically said that he was found in 382 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: like a hoarding situation, and he was very He's just 383 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,400 Speaker 1: like a little feral cat, and I think his eye 384 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,159 Speaker 1: was infected and they probably had to remove it. But 385 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: he's a very sweet, gentle um cat and I feel 386 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,919 Speaker 1: like if he was on the streets with other cats, 387 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,399 Speaker 1: they definitely probably tore him up because he is just 388 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 1: a little boy. Yeah, man, would you have any other 389 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,120 Speaker 1: adopt anymore animals at this point? Are you done for now? 390 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 1: I think I'm done for now. It's a lot of 391 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:58,719 Speaker 1: responsibility and it's mostly my boyfriend's responsibility now because he 392 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 1: works from home and I leave a lot. So you 393 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,080 Speaker 1: guys lived together, Yeah, we've lived together for like a 394 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: year now. How is how how's that going? So the 395 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: pandemic really forced us together, because you can make it 396 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,680 Speaker 1: through a pandemic, though, you can make it through anything exactly. Um. Basically, 397 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 1: he was living with his sisters and they were like, hey, 398 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,479 Speaker 1: if you're going to keep going over there, like COVID 399 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: is a thing, so like just stay there, and he 400 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 1: was like okay, So he moved in with me. And 401 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 1: how long were you dating at that point? Oh my gosh, 402 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: I don't even know. Like it was really quick. It 403 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 1: couldn't have been like more than I want to say, 404 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: like three or four months maximum. Really it happened really 405 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:46,359 Speaker 1: fast because we just pandemic. Things are different and he 406 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: didn't have a car at the time, so I was 407 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: we were making it work that way, and my parents 408 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,920 Speaker 1: were like, I wanted me to have someone there with 409 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 1: me because I was living in a big house by myself, 410 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: and um, they liked him and it was cool. Yeah, 411 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: he's been living with me. I mean it's a little 412 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:07,119 Speaker 1: different when you're independent. I mean, life moves a little quicker. 413 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,120 Speaker 1: So we get along great, we don't fight. We're best friends, 414 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: and he helps me take care of everything. He cooks 415 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 1: and cleans and he's the best. You know what. I 416 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 1: think that's so important that you guys kind of like 417 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,680 Speaker 1: your own lives and then absolutely then add to each other. 418 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 1: Is because when people say it's like your half of 419 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 1: your half of me, it's like, no, you should be 420 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 1: your whole person exactly to that exactly. And I think 421 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 1: that that's important. And I've I've never had a real 422 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,399 Speaker 1: stable relationship before, so this has been really exciting and 423 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,720 Speaker 1: it's worked out really well. We have to take a 424 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,399 Speaker 1: quick break, but when we come back, I'm going to 425 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: talk more about relationships, advice, and much more we'll be 426 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:57,520 Speaker 1: right back and we're back. Okay. What's any relationship advice, 427 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 1: like the one thing you wish you learned? Oh my gosh, Um, 428 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,360 Speaker 1: I wish I knew how to I wish I knew 429 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 1: before how to leave when it was time to leave. 430 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 1: I feel like I always stayed, hoping that things would 431 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 1: work out and that um, everything would be great. And 432 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 1: it's not. He's not a bad guy. It's just he's 433 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 1: just having a bad day. And I feel like I 434 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: was going through it. Yeah, and I neglected myself in 435 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 1: the process of trying to make other people happy. And 436 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 1: I feel like you have to prioritize yourself if you 437 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 1: want to make other people happy. Right, So, if you 438 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship and you want to 439 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: be a part of a unit, you have to be 440 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: able to work as your own person first and understand 441 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: you know your values and you're and learn to respect 442 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: yourself and love yourself and no one to let go. 443 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like it took me a while. 444 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: It took me to being in a healthy relationship to 445 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,000 Speaker 1: look back and be like, what was I doing that? 446 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 1: With social media and just comparing yourself, you're like, well, 447 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 1: I want this relationship and this is what it looks like. 448 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 1: So no relationship is no relationship is perever and you 449 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: had to be to find the person that you're willing 450 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,439 Speaker 1: to put the effort in with um and stick it 451 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: out with. I watched Dr Phil a lot, and Doctor 452 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 1: I've been watching opra clips when I've been getting ready, 453 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,440 Speaker 1: and I guess what I watched. I watched Dr Phil 454 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 1: when I get ready, and Dr Phil says, people get 455 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,720 Speaker 1: divorced and people break up too easily, and you have 456 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 1: to find a person that you're willing to stick it 457 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,120 Speaker 1: out with. And I think it's absolutely right. Go Phil. 458 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: Do you know what? My favorite Doctor Phil quote is 459 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: what I don't say but because that means forget what 460 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 1: I just said, and here's what I really meant exactly. 461 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: Especially it's very much sensationalized, like the worst case of everything. 462 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: It's like, okay, you know what, my life, My life 463 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,359 Speaker 1: is good, like I don't have to deal with a 464 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: great life, Like I love a great life. He loves 465 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: to say the dog, what is the tail wagon? The 466 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,359 Speaker 1: dog all the time anyway? Stupid? But yeah, that's my 467 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,720 Speaker 1: guilty pleasure. It's not even a guilty pleasure. I just 468 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: need background noise in the morning and the same way. 469 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,880 Speaker 1: I just tune in every now and then. You know, Yeah, 470 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: I've been liking Oprah. I was doctor Phil far On. 471 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: I've been doing Opra clips on YouTube. I need to 472 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: check that one out because I really really dived to 473 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,960 Speaker 1: note quite yet watch her her watch her a Thing 474 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,800 Speaker 1: with Maya Angelo. Okay, I'll check it out. It was 475 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: like therapy just watching I recommend which I probably need, 476 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 1: so I will check that out. You know, we all 477 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: need therapy. That's the thing. I love therapy. I think 478 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,679 Speaker 1: it's healthy. I you know what. I'm so glad you 479 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 1: said that because so many people are like, because there's 480 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 1: such a stigma with it. Everyone says you gotta work out, 481 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,920 Speaker 1: you should work out your mind. And that's what therapy is. 482 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 1: Absolutely and I feel like, um, you're doing yourself a favor, 483 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 1: You're growing as a person. It's okay to ask for help. 484 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: I feel like so many people are for you to 485 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 1: ask for help or even just if you don't need it, 486 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: just to have you know, though you might think you 487 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,360 Speaker 1: don't need it, and you get there and you're like, wow, 488 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,360 Speaker 1: I did, Yeah, I really did. I needed that. You've 489 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,920 Speaker 1: been an influencer for almost a third of your life, 490 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 1: which is crazy, and you have millions of followers, and 491 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,199 Speaker 1: you've done a bunch of press, you've done interviews. My 492 00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: question is, how do you keep it real and authentic 493 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 1: when everything and everyone seems to be so media train 494 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 1: these days. I think media training is a great thing 495 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: for anyone who's you know, doing this or wants to 496 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 1: do this, or want someone to talk to and tell 497 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: them what they're comfortable with. UM, It's very helpful. And 498 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 1: I think also there's a balance between you know, being 499 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: yourself and also like saying things in a certain way, 500 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like everything, Like I don't know, 501 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,159 Speaker 1: I've had experiences where everything is so media training to 502 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: the point where it's like you're not even having a 503 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,359 Speaker 1: conversation with someone, but you're like kind of having a 504 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,400 Speaker 1: conversation with a robot, if you know what I mean. 505 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,919 Speaker 1: And it's it's like a balance between the two. Like 506 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: you ask a question, I'm doing great, thank you, thank you. 507 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 1: My new single and this relates back to my new 508 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,880 Speaker 1: single because in this song, like yeah, you never wanted 509 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,520 Speaker 1: to be that, But I think it's it's important to 510 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: know your boundaries and able to have a conversation and 511 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: feel comfortable going into it and confident going into it. Um, 512 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 1: and yeah, I appreciate I appreciate the work that media 513 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: media training people do because I I spill them's crazy. 514 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,359 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And here's my problem is, like I I 515 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 1: sometimes overshare and I can go way off topic and 516 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,199 Speaker 1: I've learned how to keep things on track and not 517 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:23,360 Speaker 1: get too like weirdly personal, like I get like strangely personally, 518 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,640 Speaker 1: Like what do you mean? I did an interview once 519 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,240 Speaker 1: where I started talking about how I like have a 520 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: nervous habit of pulling off my pinky toe nails. But 521 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 1: I really went into detail about it. Wait, how do 522 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: you do that? I just pull them off? That's impressive. Yeah, 523 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 1: I just don't have them there. They bothered me, and 524 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,480 Speaker 1: I just pull them off. It doesn't hurt. My toes 525 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,760 Speaker 1: are like used to it. Anyway. I'm doing exactly what 526 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,919 Speaker 1: I said I wasn't. But this is the stuff that 527 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 1: I like because it's actually an actual conversation. It is. Yeah, 528 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: I just I wear a lot of heels and they 529 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 1: start to like pull up a little bit, and then 530 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,679 Speaker 1: I just yank them off. And if I don't have 531 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: nails on, Like I don't have nails on right now. 532 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 1: I pull my nails off and then they get all 533 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 1: nubby and small. How you deal with long nails? I 534 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,200 Speaker 1: love the way they look, but I just can't stand 535 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,239 Speaker 1: the feeling of long nails. You get used to it 536 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: like anything. I mean, I really love not having nails 537 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,560 Speaker 1: because I can do things like open cans. But when 538 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 1: I have nails, I like open cans with my teeth 539 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: or I do a lot of things with my teeth. Yeah, 540 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,959 Speaker 1: but I never get them super super long, like some 541 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: girls get them super long, and that I don't. I 542 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: would stab myself. Yeah. I feel like I feel claustrophobic 543 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 1: in my hands. Yeah. I feel like my range of 544 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:34,479 Speaker 1: motion deteriorating absolutely. Yeah. And I feel like, you know what, 545 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,160 Speaker 1: I feel like this is refreshing. People forget your human 546 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: and I feel like these kind of things make people remember. 547 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 1: Let's see I was able to keep it short and sweet. Yes, 548 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: I pull my toe nails off. And are there any 549 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 1: other fun facts? Oh? Boy, let me think I'm sure 550 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,840 Speaker 1: there is. Let's get weird, man. I have a lot 551 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 1: it's called let this podcast is called Let's be Real. 552 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,480 Speaker 1: I have a lot of weird things. Um, I have 553 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,160 Speaker 1: to think, I don't even know. Okay, while you're thinking 554 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 1: of something else. One other thing I want to talk 555 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,520 Speaker 1: to you about is how you've learned to appreciate and 556 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: love yourself. And I feel like it's a journey that 557 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 1: everyone is on, but social media and being a teenager 558 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: has made it very difficult for me, and I'm sure 559 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 1: many others. Do you struggle with this also? Oh of course. 560 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 1: I mean some days I wake up and I'm like, 561 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,959 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I'm the baddest bitch on earth. I 562 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 1: can I can do anything, I can be anything. And 563 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,560 Speaker 1: then some days I wake up and I'm like, oh, yeah, 564 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: I'm a worm. I'm a worm. Yeah, I'm a little rouch, 565 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 1: I'm a little bean. And those days I just bask 566 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,560 Speaker 1: in it. And then on those days when I don't 567 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: feel so great about myself, I just allow myself to 568 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: feel that way and just be like, you know what, 569 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 1: embrace it. I'm not perfect every day, and even in 570 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 1: the days when I think I'm perfect, I'm still not so. 571 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: Or even the one days when I when I want 572 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: to be perfect, I'm still not so. I think it's 573 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: just you know, embracing the parts of you that make 574 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,280 Speaker 1: you special, and I mean, living in l A, it's 575 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 1: really hard because anyone can look like whatever they want 576 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: to look like. Yeah, yes, yeah, I realized that that's 577 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: something that's very different In New York. I feel like, yes, 578 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 1: everyone looks kind of copy and paste. Yeah, And I've 579 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 1: I've made it a point, and I don't. I mean, 580 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 1: if people want to get work done, if it makes 581 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: you feel better, then do it. I mean, do it 582 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 1: for the right reason, to do what makes you feel happy. 583 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: But I feel like being surrounded by people in l A, 584 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 1: I feel like you start to feel like you need 585 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 1: to fit into this mold of what everyone else looks like. 586 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 1: And I've made it a point that like, I can't. 587 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,880 Speaker 1: I can't allow myself to do that because I still 588 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: want to be me and I don't want to look 589 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: like anyone else. In some days, I'm like, man, I 590 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,479 Speaker 1: could fix my nose, I could fix my mouth, and 591 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: then um, I just I revert back to you know what, 592 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: this is what makes me look like me? I only 593 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: need to look like everyone else and want to look 594 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 1: like everything else, and so it But just I like 595 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,240 Speaker 1: what makes me special? But You're made this way for 596 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: a reason. Exactly. Yeah, and I feel like I feel 597 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: like that's that's a really powerful thing to realize. Would 598 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: you say going into music has helped you with yourself 599 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: confidence at all? Um? I think that the most special 600 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 1: things come out of music for me is is being 601 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 1: surrounded by people that enjoy the same things that I do, 602 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: love that feel exactly. They make me feel loved and 603 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: they make me feel like, you know, my ideas are good. 604 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: And I feel like that's helped me a lot in 605 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 1: that sense. Of course, writing music is therapeutic in itself, um, 606 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: but for me it was sort of I used to 607 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: have my mom used to say because I had so 608 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: many influencer friends and I'm almost like any more music friends. 609 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,840 Speaker 1: And then now I have no influencer friends and all 610 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: music friends, so it's going completely the other way. Um. 611 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 1: But yeah, I just enjoy being around those people that 612 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:59,920 Speaker 1: like share mentests and you care about the same things, 613 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 1: and that's been really helpful for me feeling like I'm supported, 614 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: and that's that's been very very helpful for a lot. 615 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: We have to take one more quick break, but when 616 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 1: we come back, I'm want to talk with you about 617 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: some of the cool entrepreneurial things you're getting into. We'll 618 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: be right back. You have quite a busy schedule, like 619 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 1: doing a lot and I just saw launching sunglasses. Yeah, 620 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,320 Speaker 1: how did that happen? Is? Are you doing that? Like? 621 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,920 Speaker 1: I know you're studying business. Is has that been helpful? 622 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,240 Speaker 1: Like learning all of that going into the businesses you're 623 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:44,600 Speaker 1: actually creating. Yeah, I mean where I'm at in college 624 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 1: right now, it's not really applying yet, right, I haven't been. 625 00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 1: I'm doing the basics right now. I'm like English one 626 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,959 Speaker 1: oh two, okay, but not one on one but one 627 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,440 Speaker 1: oh two. But to be fair, I already sad one 628 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,239 Speaker 1: on one when no one was great. I loved it. 629 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,320 Speaker 1: I love English. Um. But I feel like the reason 630 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,840 Speaker 1: why I felt like college is important for me is 631 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: because when I'm so consumed by social media every day, 632 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 1: it's so easy to forget that I have a brain 633 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: and that I need to keep expanding my knowledge and 634 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:17,080 Speaker 1: expanding my vocabulary and um, you know, working my brain 635 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: and exercising what makes me an intelligent person. Um. So 636 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,040 Speaker 1: that's been really helpful when it comes to business and 637 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 1: my job, because I feel like my brain is already 638 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 1: warmed up. Yeah, I'm not like right and I'm not 639 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 1: completely you know, my brain is not mush from social 640 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,600 Speaker 1: media and reading text posts all day like I have. 641 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:43,560 Speaker 1: I have some articulate, you know, words that I could 642 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 1: pull out and be well spoken. Favorite word as of 643 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: recent oh my gosh. Well, I've been writing a lot 644 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 1: of essays and my favorite word to use right now 645 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: is like macabre because we're doing like a whole gothic thing. 646 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 1: Gothic literature is great, and that's been really fun for me. 647 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 1: It's really cool. I've been liking using the word conundrum. 648 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: But I have an issue. Oh that's a good one. 649 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,160 Speaker 1: I have a conundrum. Yeah. I've been me owing a lot, 650 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: so have I I can do a really good me ow. Actually, 651 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,160 Speaker 1: let's hear it. See that was good. I think it 652 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: was pretty good. Yeah, what about you? I literally yes, 653 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: I walked out to my roommate just me out, like 654 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,239 Speaker 1: what are you doing? Oh? At the shoot today, I 655 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: couldn't stop. It was everything or like it's a it's 656 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 1: a vibe, yeh. Can we make me owing a thing now? Yeah? 657 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: It's like a it's like a personality trait. If you've 658 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: gone this far into this podcast, please leave a cat 659 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 1: emoji in the comments. Um show you are a real one. Yeah, Lauren, 660 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on my podcast. It 661 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 1: was so great to meet you. Thanks. This is a 662 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:53,959 Speaker 1: great conversation. I hope you had a fun time. You're wonderful. 663 00:33:54,240 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: Thank you of course. Thank you guys so much for 664 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 1: listening to this week's episode of the Let's Be Real Podcast. Lauren, 665 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 1: thank you for coming on. It was so great to 666 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,160 Speaker 1: talk to. Make sure you follow her on her social media, 667 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,080 Speaker 1: Lauren Gray if you haven't already, and subscribe to the 668 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: podcast and leave a comment. If you have made it 669 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,320 Speaker 1: this far, make sure you do leave that cat emoji somewhere. 670 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 1: Make sure you rate it, and also follow me on 671 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,319 Speaker 1: Instagram at It's Sammy J. That's I T S S 672 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: A M M Y J A y E. And I 673 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,360 Speaker 1: will see you guys next week for another episode. Bye.