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Speaker 1: Hey guys. Support for today's show comes from dash Lane.

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Speaker 1: Dash Lane makes everything you do online easier. Fill out

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Speaker 1: forms fast, remember all your passwords, and keep your online

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Speaker 1: data accessible and safe with this all in one app.

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Speaker 1: We've talked a lot about our issues with UH with

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Speaker 1: passwords and password management in the past. I went through

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Speaker 1: this phase where and I've talked to you about this,

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Speaker 1: but I was like, if people are gonna be if

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Speaker 1: these hackers are going to be coming in and getting

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Speaker 1: my password, might as well give them a laugh, right, same,

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Speaker 1: might as well like actually make them bust up laughing.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think it makes them less likely to take

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Speaker 2: my yeah, because they go like this guy's cool. Actually,

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Speaker 2: this guy's one of the good ones. He gets it.

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Speaker 1: Or maybe I'll have time to like catch them. I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking of maybe like a future version where I'm like

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Speaker 1: kind of riding around in cyberspace on like a like

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Speaker 1: a like a yeah exactly like the mots made of

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Speaker 1: like light signals and one and theeros, and so if

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Speaker 1: then they're like they're laughing, I can like catch like

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Speaker 1: last suit them. You have more time, yeah, right, And

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Speaker 1: so I would do these funny across sticks sick where

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Speaker 1: like you know, like it's a poem where the first

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Speaker 1: letter of a word, like all the first letters spell

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Speaker 1: a different word. So I would spell password on the

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Speaker 1: left hand side. But and this is like kind of

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Speaker 1: gross for an ad, but it would be like password

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Speaker 1: penis ass, stinky, sticky wizard. I couldn't really think of

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Speaker 1: something funny for that.

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Speaker 2: You didn't go with wiener or wang peace or anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I couldn't. I just couldn't think of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Sometimes you just in the moment you just can't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have it wasn't really. I did spend a

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Speaker 1: while thinking about it, but I just at some point

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Speaker 1: I was like, let's not let the perfect be the

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Speaker 1: enemy of the good here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because wizard's funny.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's like kind of you.

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Speaker 2: Know, stinky stinky wizard. I mean yeah, uh huh did

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Speaker 2: you do the.

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Speaker 1: Oh or I ran so I ran out of a room.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And they don't let you do paragraph breaks, so it's

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Speaker 1: not spelling anything on the left.

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Speaker 2: It is just one word that. So I had a

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Speaker 2: thing where I would do not to get too political

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Speaker 2: or anything, but I would do my password would be

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Speaker 2: just tucker max backwards because I consider myself to be

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Speaker 2: the opposite of Tucker Max.

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Speaker 1: Interesting, the opposite are like the mirror in like a mirror,

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Speaker 1: I'm sort of like the shadow world version of You're

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Speaker 1: looking in the mirror and.

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Speaker 2: And I'm seeing this freaky, like inverted creation that is

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Speaker 2: Tucker Max. I guess a lot of people describe themselves

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Speaker 2: that way, like they're basically the anti Tucker Max, and

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Speaker 2: a lot of hackers in particular. Okay, And so it

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Speaker 2: was getting cracked dozens of times like per hour, and

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Speaker 2: people wadding into my stuff, and you would think they

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Speaker 2: would feel some sort of kin with me. Then to

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Speaker 2: go like, oh, this guy also you know, doesn't hope

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Speaker 2: they serve beer in hell, But that was not ever

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Speaker 2: their feeling. They would absolutely drain my savings and change

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Speaker 2: all my passwords and change my social media profile to

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Speaker 2: have me just trying to sell people those sneakers if

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Speaker 2: you remember, those like gold sneakers that would come up

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Speaker 2: a lot.

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Speaker 1: And the proceeds from your book were like, of course,

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Speaker 1: in your savings, actually, I actually hope they don't serve

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Speaker 1: beer in hell.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I actually hope they don't. So about that.

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Speaker 1: Stick around later in the show and you'll hear how

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Speaker 1: Dash Lene has helped us out, so I'm freaking out

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Speaker 1: like it's me and Pen Badly. Not that one, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: not the one, not the one you're thinking of.

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Speaker 2: No, not Pen, like pen pen one end? Not Pen

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Speaker 2: no one? Wait, who's Pen with one end? That's who

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Speaker 2: I was with? You were with Pen? Penn Badgely took

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Speaker 2: the second nd off. No, he was due for Oh

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Speaker 2: you were with Penn Badgely.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 2: When you say Pen, I think, oh, he was with

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Speaker 2: Pen Michael Penn, the musician. Then I think, oh, no,

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Speaker 2: not the musician, the magician, And I think, oh, he

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Speaker 2: was with Pen from Penn and teller who was telling

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Speaker 2: us who's got it this week? And he's calling bullshit

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Speaker 2: on some of your stuff. And then I think, oh, no,

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Speaker 2: it's not that Pen, because I hear Badly. And then

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Speaker 2: I when you say not that one after Badgely, I think, oh,

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Speaker 2: you just mean the two that were in my mind,

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Speaker 2: But you're thinking of different Penn Badgely entirely.

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Speaker 1: Penn Badgely is Yes, he only has one N in

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Speaker 1: his first name. He is a poet police officer. Wow,

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Speaker 1: so that's why that's why he's named that those are

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Speaker 1: different that he.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, it's fine.

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Speaker 1: So that no, I mean if you want to say that,

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Speaker 1: like you get it, or like that's cool. So it's

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Speaker 1: a poet named Penn Badgely because that's what he uses

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Speaker 1: for his job, uses his pen to write.

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Speaker 2: Poems, pen for the poems, and then the badge because

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Speaker 2: he's bad and when he's Badgely, he can get quite badly. Indeed,

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Speaker 2: because he's pulling the badge and showing you and saying,

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Speaker 2: do you have any idea fast you were going?

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Speaker 1: So if you'll recall I was freaking out.

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Speaker 2: And because you're the police end of him, not the

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Speaker 2: poet end of.

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Speaker 1: Him, yes, because yes, Pen Badgely has shown up because

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Speaker 1: I am creating a disturbance. I'm in a glass blowing

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Speaker 1: class and the need to make a fish bowl before

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Speaker 1: my fish runs out of air. I'm holding my fish

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Speaker 1: in my hand.

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Speaker 2: And I to make sort of taking his time with

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Speaker 2: other students, and you're going, can we speed this up?

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Speaker 1: We get it? Because my fish is like, it's like

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Speaker 1: it seems fine, it seems to be getting more energy

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Speaker 1: in my hand. It's like hurting me and it's kind

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Speaker 1: of cutting me a little bit, and.

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Speaker 2: It bit me mm hmm. What kind of fish better?

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Speaker 1: Fish?

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Speaker 2: Better than your fish? That's for sure, Okay, I deserve that. No,

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Speaker 2: so can I ask an annoying question in a glass

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Speaker 2: blowing class? Is there no finished glass around they're counting.

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Speaker 1: On you to.

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Speaker 2: They don't have any examples of what you might make

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Speaker 2: in the class.

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Speaker 1: Nothing, So this was interesting. They had a lot of

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Speaker 1: it was false. So they had a lot of pumpkins, okay,

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Speaker 1: which are closed, And so I am putting what I have,

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Speaker 1: like a big arrowhead jug like for an office water

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Speaker 1: cooler jug. And so I'm pouring that on the pumpkins

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Speaker 1: to see if they'll like take any water that I

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Speaker 1: could put the fish in. Nothing. No, nothing open that

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Speaker 1: will like actually hold water pumpkins And uh that's basically it.

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Speaker 2: That sucks. Oh that's bad luck.

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Speaker 1: Really nice though I made one, you want to say.

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Speaker 2: Hmm, and Beth, I mean we're sort of punishing you

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Speaker 2: by making the story like two or three times as

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Speaker 2: long as it normally would be.

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Speaker 1: Now you say it, oh wow, So.

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Speaker 2: If you ended up making that instead of a bowl

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Speaker 2: for your fish.

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Speaker 1: I ended up making a glass pumpkin.

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Speaker 2: It just is so tempting. I think everyone can hypnotize

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Speaker 2: by seeing that pumpkin, and they just say like, well,

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Speaker 2: that'd be cool if I finish one of those. And

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Speaker 2: so anyone in your situation who has the fish.

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Speaker 1: I follow directions too well, Beth.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and where today we are, of course we are

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Speaker 2: jelling like best stelling and right. And then a lot

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Speaker 2: of people don't remember the Doctor Schul's commercial, but I do,

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Speaker 2: and I remember you lobbied so hard for it to

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Speaker 2: be jelling like best selling, and you were one of

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Speaker 2: the final two people in that contest. It was you Magellan.

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Speaker 3: Interesting, actually I auditioned for it, and I'm the one

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Speaker 3: who in the audition improvised just the entire marketing thing.

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Speaker 3: I'm jelling because I actually meant I'm jealous, but they

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Speaker 3: misheard me, and then they were like, did you say

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Speaker 3: just I'm jelling?

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Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, what were you and they

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Speaker 4: stole it from me?

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Speaker 1: What were you saying you were jealous of?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, same question, but I'll take my response separately, So

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Speaker 2: hazes and then when and then afterwards get to mind Hayes.

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Speaker 3: I was jealous of their ironically their pens because they

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Speaker 3: had really they were taking notes on all.

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Speaker 2: That's not irony.

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Speaker 1: That is delicious irony.

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Speaker 4: No, it is because it's the name of the police officer.

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Speaker 3: He had already been talking about it ironic that that

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Speaker 3: was also what I.

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Speaker 4: Was jealous of.

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Speaker 1: When you say something that someone said before.

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Speaker 4: Sean, I'm just being ironic your vocabulary.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because I have such a keen sense of irony,

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Speaker 2: I never mislabel it ever exactly.

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Speaker 1: People were like, how did Beth get on this show? Well,

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Speaker 1: she's friends with Devon already.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how I did get on.

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Speaker 1: Your friends, because Devon famously loves like he's mister Moonlight, aren't.

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Speaker 5: You doctor Moonlight? Doctor moon.

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Speaker 4: He went back to school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. He is the producer, engineers, the.

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Speaker 4: Sound engineer for the podcast I do with my Mom.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I don't produce it that one.

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Speaker 4: He has good input.

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Speaker 5: Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, that's very kind.

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Speaker 2: What's one idea that Devin is Yeah.

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Speaker 3: He suggested my mom sound like a little sexier, just

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Speaker 3: to bring people in.

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Speaker 2: Something for the boys. It's an issue you're making content

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Speaker 2: doesn't hurt to help the boys feel a little included there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he does this thing. It's so disgusting, where like

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Speaker 1: he does this for us too. It's always like, can

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Speaker 1: we can it get a little sexier in here? That

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Speaker 1: he licks his finger and like puts it in the

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Speaker 1: air like he's try to if it's windy. But I

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Speaker 1: guess it's like how he detects how sexy it is.

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Speaker 2: Like sexiness. Yeah, it's yeah.

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Speaker 5: You can feel it in the air. You can feel it.

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Speaker 5: You feel the temperature.

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Speaker 3: Raising much as like it, Yeah, like a humidity. It's

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Speaker 3: a human wrap around the finger in a way.

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Speaker 1: So gross to me, but it works.

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Speaker 2: It works. I mean our numbers have gone up so

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Speaker 2: much because every now and then, Devin and he'll do

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Speaker 2: it during this he'll just stop something, we cut it out,

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Speaker 2: but he'll go, hey, give that to me again, but

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Speaker 2: make it so damn horny.

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Speaker 3: It's so funny that he said it like that because

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Speaker 3: he the way he said it for me and my

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Speaker 3: mom is he he would say like, hey, let's stop

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Speaker 3: for a second, can we get a little winier?

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Speaker 4: And he would always he would always go up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So he caters to his audience a little bit.

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Speaker 4: I think it's because he was talking to women.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, exactly, go.

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Speaker 2: A little bit.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, and it's it's the I mean, look the genders

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Speaker 2: are different, let's say it. And for men, horniness is

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Speaker 2: down here, and yeah, horn can go way up here,

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Speaker 2: and it's and Devin knows better than anyone where it.

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Speaker 1: Lives to us. But he's talking to us. He says, Fellas,

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Speaker 1: can we make it a little hernier in here? He says, hernier?

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Speaker 2: That's weird, that's strange.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're doing the show with your mom. What's her name?

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Speaker 4: Diane?

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Speaker 2: Great mom named Diane's mom name, Diane.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't that what Superman and Batman's moms was named?

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Speaker 4: Really?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 5: Martha?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's very close. That's the very close.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I think Diane has like a little bit more edge

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Speaker 3: to it. And their different letters, they do begin with

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Speaker 3: different letters.

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Speaker 4: That's the other thing, right.

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Speaker 2: They start with different letters, but then there's one of

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Speaker 2: the same letters.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right.

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Speaker 2: So it's like if we're just gonna go letter by letter,

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Speaker 2: it's like, watch out when we get to number three, man,

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Speaker 2: because they're going to find.

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Speaker 3: A couple similarities, just the one actually, just you're gonna

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Speaker 3: find one.

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Speaker 2: Similar the one letter.

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Speaker 1: But still, and she's being weird on the show or normal,

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Speaker 1: she's being normal. She's being normal.

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Speaker 2: Finally, can we get a normal mom on a show

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Speaker 2: for a change, So we've got to be some wacky

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Speaker 2: mom on all these shows.

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Speaker 1: No, she's really normal, not like that, Alison Janny mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: No, she's like a real wholesome mom. She doesn't she's

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Speaker 3: not saying anything too crazy.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a good show. So it's you.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm kind of going for just like something

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Speaker 3: you can fall asleep too, So in that way it works,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'll try anything once. So so I'm

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Speaker 2: putting that on and then I'm just going and I'm

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Speaker 2: trying to fall asleep, and you're.

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Speaker 4: Trying not to fall asleep, honestly.

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Speaker 2: Try not to. And your mom is being inspired by

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Speaker 2: Devin to bring some horniness into the mix.

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Speaker 4: Because it is bedtime.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well and help your dreams, Beth, what you are

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Speaker 2: known as?

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Speaker 1: Of course?

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Speaker 4: Are you going to read my bio?

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Speaker 1: Uh? I wasn't going to. I can Where do I

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Speaker 1: find it? Honestly, Bethstelling dot com.

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Speaker 4: No, it's actually it's Punishable Butts.

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Speaker 1: Dot com Punishable Butt. So it's like Colin Joe's book

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Speaker 1: Punishable Face. But it's but in this case, it's your

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Speaker 1: your butts okay, yes, I will read it. Beth Stelling

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Speaker 1: is one of the hottest up and coming comics and

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Speaker 1: on the American comedy scene. She is known for her

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Speaker 1: crowd work, uh and observational comedy about uh family food

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Speaker 1: just says family comma food period.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I couldn't, like you know, I didn't write my

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Speaker 3: own bio. Of course, I hired someone to write that

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Speaker 3: and that. I listened to a couple other things, but

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Speaker 3: I said I cut those.

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Speaker 4: I said it cut it right there.

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Speaker 1: Whether it's a corporate event or family reunion. So I

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Speaker 1: guess that's the family thing. Yeah, best selling will bring

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Speaker 1: last to your life and uh money to your restaurant.

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Speaker 4: It's true.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because if people say that, if I'm in there

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Speaker 3: at the restaurant making jokes, people eat seventy four percent more.

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Speaker 1: People will eat a lot more because I'm still talking.

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Speaker 2: They order a second entree and they finish about three

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Speaker 2: quarters of it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, that's usually what happens.

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Speaker 1: So let's talk about live comedy. Yeah, this is a

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Speaker 1: cherished institution that is now being in trouble.

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Speaker 2: Is there anything you miss more? Oh, it's yes, Sorry,

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Speaker 2: I'm so used to Hayes that sometimes I blow by

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Speaker 2: these things that people do because but it's a great

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Speaker 2: it's a great way to put it right, that it's

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Speaker 2: a cherished institution that is now being in and that

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Speaker 2: and that is scaring the hell out of me. I'm

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Speaker 2: feeling scared, shaking like a leaf, because I have learned

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Speaker 2: a lot about myself and uh my loved ones during

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Speaker 2: this time, this different time of this pandemic and this

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Speaker 2: and this novel coronavirus, and me and my guy friends

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Speaker 2: have become a lot more vulnerable with each other. That's

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Speaker 2: been really illuminating. We've opened up, We talk about ship

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Speaker 2: that we never would have talked about before when we

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Speaker 2: just took each other for granted.

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Speaker 4: Can you share some of the private things that they've

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Speaker 4: shared with you.

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Speaker 3: About a couple of people that I'd be interested in, Like,

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Speaker 3: can you share some of their seats.

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Speaker 2: Some of my guy friend's secrets, Oh well.

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Speaker 4: Like the things that they got really vulnerable about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when they've gotten vulnerable just like well, Devin, for instance,

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Speaker 2: was talking about like how he used to collect baseball cards. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: which I never think of Devin that way now, Like

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Speaker 2: I just don't.

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Speaker 5: I did share this in confidence, Sean.

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Speaker 2: But but Bethett here is pride and she's a master interrogator.

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Speaker 1: It's incredible, and now she's going to use it for

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Speaker 1: her famous crowd work lex weaknesses like scarecrow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if I don't have to though it's not like

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Speaker 3: I need it, have it, okay.

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Speaker 2: Rather have it and not need it than need it

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Speaker 2: and not have it is how I feel about Devin's

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Speaker 2: baseball card weakness. So so that sort of thing uh

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Speaker 2: has happened, and that's been amazing. But the thing that

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Speaker 2: has been negative, and there is a negative side to

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Speaker 2: it as well, well, uh is it live comedy? Is

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Speaker 2: uh not happened?

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Speaker 1: It is absolutely blown a hole in my life. Yea,

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Speaker 1: the absence of this. I go to the grocery store

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Speaker 1: and I get to the front and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: it's me and here my two friends. And they're like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to bring two friends yeah to the

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Speaker 1: grocery store.

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Speaker 4: Yet in fact, they would rather not bring anybody.

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Speaker 2: They want us to shop in groups of two or fewer.

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Speaker 4: It's pretty much the opposite of the two drink minimum.

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Speaker 1: So that's been weird. But what about you? This is

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Speaker 1: your I mean.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, I don't think it's the opposite of the two

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Speaker 2: drink minimum.

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Speaker 4: Oh I feel a text.

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Speaker 2: I really don't know, but it's the same. But it's

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Speaker 2: the irony issue again, right where where if we're not

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Speaker 2: being accurate like here, I am like opening up sharing

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Speaker 2: some of devins You're right, most painful secrets.

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Speaker 3: And you know what else, I think that this is

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Speaker 3: really uncomfortable, Like this is the second really uncomfortable moment

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Speaker 3: that we've had where you've called me on my bullshit,

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Speaker 3: And that's like another thing that I've been dealing with

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Speaker 3: in the pandemic.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the pandemic, the pandemic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the opposite would be going to the to a

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Speaker 1: sad movie instead of seeing live comedy and drinks to

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Speaker 1: sell to drinks sell them.

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Speaker 4: You're right, I hope that happens. That sounds good. I

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Speaker 4: don't so. I'm sorry that you guys are going through

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Speaker 4: such a hard time and.

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Speaker 3: It's been such a huge hit to your careers. But

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Speaker 3: I'm fine without live comedy.

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Speaker 2: No, you're not better.

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Speaker 1: But why that this is this your blood? Is this

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Speaker 1: very blood?

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Speaker 4: I was waiting for an out.

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Speaker 2: No bet no, no, no, no, no no no.

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Speaker 3: Did you see through this, and you knew that I

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Speaker 3: needed you to beg me to stay in live comedy.

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Speaker 1: Beth.

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Speaker 2: Live comedy needs you and you need it. This is

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Speaker 2: this is everything. Okay, please, we're going to reopen the meltdown.

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Speaker 2: Why it's going to be me and you, Okay, Jonah too,

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Speaker 2: and we will get in there and we will fire

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Speaker 2: this up. We're going to create the comedy bubble. We've

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Speaker 2: seen it work for hockey, We've seen it work for basketball.

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Speaker 2: We're going to create the comedy bubble for live comedy

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Speaker 2: performers like you, like us to a lesser extent. Like

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of someone who's like less or extended.

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Speaker 4: He was like not as good as Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I guess should we name those people? Or I would

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Speaker 2: be helpful if we just even threw out a couple ideas.

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Speaker 1: Just terify that when Sewn says me and you and

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Speaker 1: Jonah too, he means like Jonah two is like Galagher two.

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Speaker 1: It's not like actual has licensed.

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Speaker 2: He's yes, he's sold as actors to his brother, and

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Speaker 2: just as long as they don't work the same clubs,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna be okay. So yeah, but it'll be it'll

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Speaker 2: be us and and we'll get a whole crew in there,

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Speaker 2: and finally people will have their funny bones absolutely obliterated

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Speaker 2: once more.

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Speaker 3: I think, as long as we're staying safe and each

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Speaker 3: have our own microphone, what.

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Speaker 2: Material are we doing these days? Beth, give me a

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Speaker 2: sample what I might hear in there?

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Speaker 4: Wow?

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00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 2: Just a topic even that you might go to town on.

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Speaker 1: Washing your hands?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yep.

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Speaker 4: Maybe that.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it is something about how jeans don't even fit anymore.

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Speaker 1: That has been my experience, my bit, Oh that's yours?

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Speaker 6: Shit?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: We actually do really need to kind of pat like

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Speaker 3: just cross reference some of the bits we've been writing

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Speaker 3: in Quarantine, because like, I don't want to be doing

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Speaker 3: your jokes.

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Speaker 1: Mmmm, well, that'll be easy in the bubble because what

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Speaker 1: you'll be only we'll only be doing them to each other.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I thought. So there's not going to be an audience.

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Speaker 3: We're not social distancing. Is it just like comedy for

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Speaker 3: each other.

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Speaker 1: There will be a digital audience. So I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you've seen an NBA game recently, but they do have.

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Speaker 1: They have the fans right wirelessly digitally projected it into

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Speaker 1: the fan crowd.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that's an exclusive bunch.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so they can be there. They can hit a

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Speaker 1: button where I guess they can type the word laugh

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Speaker 1: as like a command.

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Speaker 3: That's cool or maybe a maybe it could be a

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Speaker 3: I guess I'm used to laughs, but we could. Are

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Speaker 3: they going to be able to heckle?

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Speaker 1: Because that's what you got the thing?

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Speaker 4: That's something I really miss?

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Speaker 1: What kind of heckling?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Do you do you get the most?

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Speaker 4: Probably just like Ranch people that might.

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Speaker 1: Not be for you. Yeah, I actually.

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Speaker 4: For the wats maybe.

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00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that might be unrelated.

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Speaker 2: I think I mean, it may be that either Sam

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Speaker 2: Elliott or Ashton Kutcher just.

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Speaker 4: Walked in really yeah, like into this.

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Speaker 2: Like they just walked in and they've walked into the

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Speaker 2: back of the comedy venue as you're performing, and everyone's going,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, it's one of my favorite stars of

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Speaker 2: the beloved Netflix comedy show The Ranch.

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Speaker 1: Oh until you only heard the beginning.

446
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 3: It's interesting because I, yeah, I've actually never seen that,

447
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 3: so I was that would have been lost on me then.

448
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: And now there could be a Ranch command. There could

449
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 1: be a command for people to for their digital avatar

450
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,959
Speaker 1: to scream out Ranch.

451
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

452
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 1: There has to be so yes, everyone has to bring

453
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: their own microphone. It has to be of course, you

454
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 1: have to be washing it.

455
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 4: A lot with water.

456
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what do you wash your microphone with?

457
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: And you got to bring your own water?

458
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 4: This is crazy.

459
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: You have to bring your own microphone water.

460
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 3: It's feeling like I don't even know if I want

461
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 3: to be a part of it. Like I know that

462
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,879
Speaker 3: it would be fun to do with you guys, but

463
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 3: my comedy just isn't the same if I'm having to

464
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 3: wash my own mic.

465
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 4: See, I didn't get into comedy to wash my own mic.

466
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 4: I want somebody to do it for me.

467
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,800
Speaker 1: And you know, as someone who's been following your career,

468
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 1: this is a little sad to see. I do remember

469
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: the Best Stelling who industriously washed her own mic after

470
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,479
Speaker 1: every performance.

471
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: And washed all the other stand ups mics.

472
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that was when I was trying to come

473
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 4: up and I don't take shit anymore.

474
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 1: But now think of like that next, you know, like

475
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: it's the next Best Stelling. Who's the person that you're

476
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 1: like sort of flippantly tossing your filthy mike too after

477
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 1: every show?

478
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: Do you do need to pull the ladder up behind you, Beth?

479
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 2: Like I think it's a good example for all the

480
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 2: young comics in there, some of the ones who are

481
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 2: worse than us that we mentioned earlier, Yeah.

482
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 4: Like Ahamed Weinberg and yes, thank you.

483
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 2: Like they see Beth washing her own mic, they go like, wow,

484
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 2: Jesus of Beth Stellings washing her mic, then I guess

485
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: I have to do it too.

486
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,880
Speaker 4: I'm flattered. I don't look at myself that way.

487
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 3: So I think you're right, like, I really should kind

488
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 3: of reconsider what I said earlier and sort of take.

489
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 2: It back, Okay, And I'd like to give you space

490
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 2: to do that.

491
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 4: Do I need to apologize?

492
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 2: Do you think it's got to be a big formal apology.

493
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 4: Like now or should I go in right?

494
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 2: This will be the public one, and we'll expect a

495
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 2: private one as well.

496
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: Okay. The public one is.

497
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 3: I appeared on a podcast recently with two young boys,

498
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 3: and they were asking me to join.

499
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 4: Their comedy bubble, and I made a mistake in one

500
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 4: of my answers. I took it too far. I was

501
00:26:58,960 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 4: a diva.

502
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 3: I'm shamed, and while I don't really feel like I

503
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 3: did anything wrong, I do want to say I'm sorry.

504
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,120
Speaker 2: That's the worst part of the apology that.

505
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: It was going really well. You can't say that.

506
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 2: You would need to at least admit that you got

507
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: caught up in your lifestyle.

508
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 4: Okay, what is this Twitter? I thought it was like

509
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,360
Speaker 4: just an official.

510
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 3: Apology that I submitted and there wouldn't be any comments

511
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 3: made to me.

512
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: Again, I guess we are being a couple of reply guys.

513
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's all we do is make comments shows, funny comments.

514
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 3: Oh man, Okay, I got caught up in my diva

515
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 3: lifestyle and I want to apologize.

516
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 4: I will be washing my own.

517
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 3: Mic and I hope it serves as a reminder to

518
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 3: all the comics coming up in the bubble that hard

519
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 3: work could pay off.

520
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: Hey, while you're washing mics, you should probably take a

521
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:08,120
Speaker 1: look at that mic row you know, dirty doing.

522
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can wash, you know, that's the kind of

523
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 2: thing you usually ask people to look that up before

524
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 2: they come on the show. That like, you know, you're

525
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 2: coming out to do Hollywood Handbook, Like, yeah, you're gonna

526
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 2: want to familiar size with Mike yourself with micro a

527
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 2: little bit.

528
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,439
Speaker 3: I thought micro penis is where honestly, I thought that

529
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 3: was going micro.

530
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it can lead to confusing conversations.

531
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 5: Might be, and we would be like penis.

532
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: When someone's saying, like, boy, get a load of that

533
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: micro penis, and you're expecting to see one that's very small,

534
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: but then it is the penis of micro from dirty jobs.

535
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 2: And he's packing he How can you tell that?

536
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 4: You know?

537
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 2: During this time on me and a lot of my

538
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 2: guy friends have become a lot more vulnerable with one another.

539
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 2: And uh, it's just been a time for sharing and

540
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 2: just like learning about each other in a way that

541
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 2: it probably would have been uncomfortable with before.

542
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 4: This means you've been sharing dick pics with your friends.

543
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: My friends, I mean with Mike row Yeah.

544
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: Hey, guys. Support for today's show comes from dash Lane.

545
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: Dash Lane makes everything you do online easier. Fill out

546
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547
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548
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549
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Speaker 1: so you won't get so done by forgotten your misspelled passwords.

550
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Speaker 1: So I, like, I really want to apologize for this.

551
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 1: Like Dashlne has been one of our best ad partners.

552
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Speaker 1: They've been like so nice and supportive. I genuinely get

553
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Speaker 1: a lot of good use out of their product, and

554
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: we have received something. Uh, they've contacted us about basically

555
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: the last ad that we did and specifically what I

556
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:12,239
Speaker 1: did where I used password to spell out like the

557
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: first like.

558
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: A humorous acrosstic humorous acrostic.

559
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 1: Yeah you did yeah uh and it started like password

560
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: pass and that started penis ass stinky, stinky, And this

561
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: is like not, that's not who I am. And in

562
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 1: fact I didn't come up with this, It was Brett. Uh.

563
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: And so what I need Brett to do now is apologize.

564
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 2: Apologize, take responsibility boy.

565
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: And and actually come up with a new funny look

566
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: still funny acrosstick but that actually doesn't use words like that.

567
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 7: Apologize for what exactly though my body apologize for I mean.

568
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 1: That would be great. I have actually been hoping you

569
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: would do that for a long time.

570
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 2: Everybody's fingers crossed hoping that would happen. Yeah, people have

571
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: been talking about.

572
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: Not expecting that to happen now. But I think you

573
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 1: can apologize for the nasty across the poem that you

574
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: came up with and come up with one that's like

575
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: still funny, but like much cleaner.

576
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 7: Okay, all right, I am sorry that for anyone that

577
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 7: feels like I said something wrong, you know, I'm sorry

578
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 7: they feel that way, and I feel differently. I feel

579
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 7: like I have I'm proud of my body and you know,

580
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 7: even the stinky, stinky part. But that's you know, that's subjective.

581
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: Different parts, and that's why it's in there. Twice.

582
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 7: Well, yeah, there's multiple. There's a couple of stinks.

583
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: And again I really like it, and no doubt, I

584
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: genuine it's a password manager that I really use, like

585
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: it is very useful to me. I don't want to

586
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 1: get into this again. I just want to get to

587
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: the clean, nice acrosstick. I mean, the plus dashline works

588
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: across devices, so you can access your accounts no matter

589
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: what device you're using, computer or phone. I have it

590
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: on both my computer and my phone, and I'm concerned

591
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: that they're going to make me give one back.

592
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 7: All right, here we go, new password, and it has

593
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 7: to be like whatever you call it starts with the

594
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 7: same letter.

595
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: That's the entire premise.

596
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 7: Okay, perfect, perfect, anatomy, Oh smells scrumptious and wizards.

597
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: That day is obviously wizard. I guess what'd sday? And

598
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: then we just like last time, we just we don't

599
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: have to do.

600
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: The rest, no more space.

601
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,160
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607
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Speaker 1: off your pre in subscription. We will be staying at

608
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: the Ha haa hotel. It's where everyone in the live

609
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:21,479
Speaker 1: comedy bubble will be situated. We will what's the food?

610
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: We have to make sure that there's food.

611
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 3: Chicken, Like, here's the thing, it's our itt get settled.

612
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 2: No first instinct you ever read by Malcolm Gladwell, it's chicken.

613
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 2: You thought of chicken because that's correct.

614
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 3: Okay, But I was thinking, this is our chance to

615
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 3: not have to stay at the hotel, to finally reinvent

616
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 3: comedy from the way we saw before and now that

617
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: we're doing it in a bubble, so like we don't

618
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 3: have to stay in shitty hotels anymore or eat chicken

619
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 3: fingers from the club, Like maybe we try to be

620
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 3: healthier the Haha hotel.

621
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 2: So what's your version of this? The hotels and see?

622
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: And once again I'm remembering Beth Stelling's early career where

623
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: she was so I remember, you're like.

624
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 2: So honored to enter the hotel, even to just be

625
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 2: allowed to stand on the curb outside and again kind

626
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 2: of lightly whacked by the revolving doors as it swung by,

627
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: it kept sort of clipping her shoulder and almost knocking

628
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 2: her down, and her being like, this is my dream,

629
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 2: this is what I always wanted to do.

630
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 3: Again, I've been kind of called out here and brought

631
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 3: to my knees really with that memory, because I absolutely forgot.

632
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 4: And I don't want to blame the pandemic.

633
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 2: No, I mean, let's not do that, but let's be

634
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 2: kind of the pandemic for a.

635
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 3: Change, Okay, But I do feel like my memory has

636
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 3: been altered and time has been back passing extra.

637
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 4: Quick or slow, and I feel like I forgot the

638
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 4: old me.

639
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 2: Take out the pause between extra and quick on Beth's track,

640
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 2: you got it.

641
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 3: So I do remember the time where I was just

642
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 3: honored to be there, just to sit in the lobby

643
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 3: and wait hours for my room to be ready for

644
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 3: all the come to get wiped up and.

645
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 4: The h.

646
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 6: And all the and all the drugs put back in

647
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:36,879
Speaker 6: the drawers, and to go in there and make a

648
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 6: dirty cure eg before the show.

649
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 4: Well, I write my set list.

650
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: In green Mountain coffee. Mm hmmm, yeah, howld hollowed out

651
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 2: bible in the top drawer with a handgun inside of it,

652
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 2: just in case exactly, and.

653
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,320
Speaker 4: A couple of used condoms. And they used condom.

654
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 3: The space between the wall and the bed boy in

655
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 3: a little barf sometimes sometimes a little barf they missed.

656
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm, I do miss it.

657
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 2: I remember you, you being honored to be in that

658
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 2: place with all those things you just described. And now

659
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, ladi va, miss diva.

660
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 4: I know, my lost track of the real me.

661
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 2: Why'd we get into it? You know what I mean? Like,

662
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 2: why do we really start? Why do we start doing this?

663
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 2: This crazy job we do that's insane to get up

664
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 2: alone with a microphone and go I think I can

665
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 2: make these hundred people laugh, you know what I mean,

666
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 2: the most fucked up, demented job idea you could ever have.

667
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 2: What started that?

668
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 4: I think it's some I mean, I don't want to

669
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 4: blame my dad, but I feel like.

670
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 3: I think that's a pretty good excuse that a lot

671
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 3: of comics like to use, you know, sort of like

672
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 3: my dad.

673
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, the answer for me as to what got me

674
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 1: into this and is also I think what's going to

675
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: get us out of this and save live comedy is

676
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: the same. And that answer is Shorty's Watching Shorties? Okay, Hello,

677
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: that show? So let's think about this. The show Shorty

678
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: Watching Shorty's, Nick DePaolo and Patrise O'Neil are babies, yes,

679
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: And when Nick's mom Baby Nick's Mom is a way

680
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: the babies get together and they watch animated clips of

681
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: stand up comedy performances.

682
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 4: You know about this, Beth, I'm fully lost?

683
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: Is this you never saw the Shorties watching Shorties?

684
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 4: Is this that's real? Is this a Google? Can I

685
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 4: rent it somewhere? Uh?

686
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could, Yes, you could probably Is.

687
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 4: It unciso or still or YouTube?

688
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,760
Speaker 1: I think the rights are sort of being passed around

689
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:18,439
Speaker 1: right now. It was on Comedy Central And when would

690
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: you say, Sean?

691
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 8: It was probably in the late nineties, right, It's gotta

692
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 8: be four April to December two thousand and four.

693
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 1: April to December two thousand and four, Okay, it was

694
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:40,240
Speaker 1: animating stand up comedy performances and it's having these babies

695
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: watch them now, news to me.

696
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 2: Does anyone remember this show? This is what got me

697
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 2: into comedy. It was like six stand ups. Who's the

698
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 2: guy that call him like the bulldog or something, and

699
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: he got.

700
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 4: A voice like Bobby Slayton.

701
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: Bobby Slayton is like the main guy, and it's like

702
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 2: six stand ups and they were just like playing cards

703
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 2: and telling street jokes. And that was an early Comedy

704
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: Central show. I remember that said, I go, I gotta

705
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 2: do this.

706
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 4: Wow, and look at you. Now, this is what this.

707
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: Is, no kidding, that's another thing we can bring back. Hey,

708
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: you ever noticed that, like being in a zoom with

709
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 1: your friends is pretty much basically the same as being

710
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 1: on episode A Tough Crowd. Yes, we could just be

711
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,240
Speaker 1: doing Tough Crowd now.

712
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 4: I don't know, Hayes, I feel like you're calling.

713
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: I do too.

714
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 4: I do too, guys. I have a quick question for

715
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 4: the last Please say what for the last four minutes.

716
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 3: I want to say that I've really had to pee

717
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 3: to the point of discomfort, and I'm wondering if maybe

718
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 3: I could just run the bathroom, like right there it's

719
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:03,439
Speaker 3: not even far and I have a key.

720
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 2: They gave me the key, and you you can go.

721
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: You cannot mute the computer.

722
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:14,399
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna mute yourself. We don't wait, No, we

723
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 1: don't want to hear Oh, we don't want to hear you.

724
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 6: Wait.

725
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 4: Hold on, if I if I keep these in, can

726
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 4: you hear me pee?

727
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:23,040
Speaker 5: Yes?

728
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 1: Very quickly?

729
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 4: Wait so do then I can't hear you if you're

730
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 4: talking about me.

731
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 5: That's also true.

732
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna go really quick. Now, this is a

733
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: really difficult situation.

734
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:42,240
Speaker 3: I feel like it's like you should go, you should

735
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 3: go figure it out.

736
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 2: I get back that we can't promise because this has

737
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 2: never happened before. If I find this Bobby Slayton show,

738
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 2: I'm going to be watching that for the rest of

739
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:53,160
Speaker 2: the night.

740
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:55,759
Speaker 4: Okay, please don't leave.

741
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 3: And also, I feel like if I took you in

742
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 3: there and you had to hear me pee, I would

743
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 3: It's not appropriate.

744
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: No, it's nasty to me. Go I can't. I mean,

745
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 1: this is like you think of our whole catalog, it's

746
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: so vast. We've done so many episodes and this is

747
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 1: the first time we've ever had a pee guest.

748
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 2: I know, and we promised ourselves that if it ever happened,

749
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 2: we'd hang it up. We said, that's it. That's the

750
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 2: line that we drew for ourselves, where we go, Hey,

751
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 2: as long as nobody's peeing on the damn show, we

752
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 2: know we've done our job. Like, but once you cross

753
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 2: that line, I don't know, man, I'm bummed.

754
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,879
Speaker 1: And I remember it's you know, it's the same thing

755
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 1: with Beth when I was like so idealistic. It's like,

756
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 1: you know, we'll just do it. We'll do like a

757
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 1: real show, not a show where like people are peeing,

758
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:00,360
Speaker 1: Like no, I know.

759
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like always the goal. And then yeah,

760
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 2: and then you know, there's that famous quote where it's

761
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 2: like every show begins as a movement, grows into a business,

762
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,760
Speaker 2: and devolves into just a piss palace just to pee,

763
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 2: you know, showcase essentially, and it's disappointing to be a

764
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 2: part of it.

765
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 1: But Devin, does this happen on the other show.

766
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 9: It hasn't come up, noble, She's saving it for our

767
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 9: show and shows that she guests on.

768
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 3: There you are sorry, guys, it actually took long and

769
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 3: be normal because I held it so long.

770
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 4: It took a while to know that it was like

771
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 4: okay to go.

772
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. Sometimes your body goes like, really, are you sure

773
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 2: this time because I've been Oh, now that it's your idea,

774
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 2: suddenly we all are you know, on board for this? Well,

775
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm not ready anymore.

776
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: Devin was just sharing what to me was a fairly

777
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: shocking revelation, which is that this has actually never happened

778
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: before on your own show, and so you are actually

779
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:20,319
Speaker 1: saving for when it's time to pete, for when you

780
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: are being a guest on other people's shows.

781
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:29,320
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. It was like, and I even drank

782
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 4: in front of you, so rude.

783
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 1: And I should have known. And now I'm seeing and

784
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: then I'm flashing back in my head that all the

785
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 1: little sippies that she was taking, nobody's a thirsty no.

786
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 2: It's like the end of the usual suspects for me,

787
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 2: where yeah, suddenly it's all coming together, Like every time

788
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 2: she's like she's misspeaking, she's using ironically wrong, she's opposite wrong,

789
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 2: and then right afterwards she's like, boy, getting called out

790
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 2: really uh makes a girl flushed. And then chug chug,

791
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 2: chug chug, And it was all a setup. I was

792
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 2: getting played like a fight.

793
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 1: I dropped the coffee in slow motion, and then Beth

794
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 1: gets down and tries to drink the coffee on the floor,

795
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 1: so she have to pee again. Well that's it. I mean,

796
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,280
Speaker 1: like if I were saying no, it's over. Like Sean

797
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: and I said from the beginning that we were going

798
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 1: to do something like different. We were going to be

799
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 1: like all these other shows where people are just like

800
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 1: peeing like crazy on every episode. We weren't gonna do that.

801
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 3: Guys, I don't want to make you feel bad, but

802
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 3: I have to share something.

803
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: Okay, don't shouldn't make me feel bad. You should be

804
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 2: able to share something without me feeling bad.

805
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 4: The reason that I had to pee is like, it's

806
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 4: a medical condition.

807
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 6: What.

808
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, like it's just part of my body, like I

809
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 3: It's just it's a medical thing.

810
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 1: Okay, Wow, Well this is actually really expanding my horizons.

811
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:07,840
Speaker 4: I just wanted to be vulnerable.

812
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 3: It's like if I drink a lot of liquids and stuff,

813
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 3: or I drink or if I drink anything during the day,

814
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,919
Speaker 3: I have to go pretty soon after, so.

815
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: I actually have something to share as well. Okay, you next, Okay,

816
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 1: as long as we are opening up me me not

817
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 1: being successful in my career is also a medical condition.

818
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 3: Wait, how could you say that about yourself? I think

819
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 3: you are successful, Like.

820
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 1: Really, I to invite you to talk to my my,

821
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: my fleet of doctors.

822
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 2: Why don't you tell the Johns Hopkins.

823
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,800
Speaker 4: It's just it's ironic.

824
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 3: It's just ironic because I've always looked up to you,

825
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,720
Speaker 3: so yeah.

826
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:08,560
Speaker 1: And you know you can. It just goes to show that,

827
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: like you can persevere and you are not this illness

828
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: in the same way you I mean, to some extent

829
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 1: are a p person, right, but it's it's like it's

830
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: like it's part of you, but it's not who you are.

831
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 4: Thank you.

832
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:33,399
Speaker 2: That was really brave when you shared that. Hayes, I'd

833
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 2: like to go on record that my absolutely horrendous personality

834
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 2: is actually in medical condition. That oh, all the times

835
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 2: I've sort of oh my god, I haven't and all

836
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,399
Speaker 2: like all the sort of rude things that I've done

837
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 2: and said on the show and off the show are

838
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 2: actually a result of a very severe illness. And uh,

839
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 2: my doctors are working around the clock to figure something out.

840
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:09,799
Speaker 2: And the best they have so far as they've just

841
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,879
Speaker 2: been telling me to basically to go to sleep.

842
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: His personality is, while not perfect, well he's asleep, it

843
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: is much. It's it's it's a big improvement.

844
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 2: It's better. It is better. I don't think you'd find

845
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 2: anybody who disagrees with that.

846
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: He still is kind of weirdly snide.

847
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, how does like it must be a yeah, I

848
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,799
Speaker 3: feel like I just send my love and grace to

849
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,439
Speaker 3: your wife and your kid through this hard time.

850
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,439
Speaker 2: M hmm, yeah, a little play on my wife's name there,

851
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 2: my main wife.

852
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 1: This is just really giving me a whole new perspective

853
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 1: on people who pee in the middle of my podcast,

854
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: which is as of right now a list of one

855
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god. But it is making me think that

856
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: me declaring I was a kid, you know, I didn't

857
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 1: know anything about the world, and so when I said

858
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: I would end the podcast as soon as someone had

859
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 1: the pe during the show, that was actually me being

860
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: ableism o God in a way, it was.

861
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 4: Okay, think I just got confused.

862
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 3: I was worried you were going to just end the

863
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 3: whole podcast altogether, the series.

864
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: That's what we were Yes, that's what we promised us

865
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: to do.

866
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 4: The bathroom.

867
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Devin, we don't need you to confirm.

868
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 5: Well, I'm just.

869
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 2: And Devin so excited for it to be over, has

870
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 2: been waiting for this his whole life.

871
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 9: That's why I came back for this episode. I was like, Oh,

872
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,719
Speaker 9: I can see how this is all gonna go. All

873
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 9: the pawns are in place.

874
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 2: In the end, I can finally do my show. Hollyweird handball,

875
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 2: fucking clown this clown ass.

876
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 4: So when should we do our first show in the Bubble.

877
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,760
Speaker 2: I'm baling on the bubble man. All this peace stuff

878
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: has me like turned up one who talked into it.

879
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 2: I know, I know, you know. Honestly, I really thought

880
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 2: the Bubble was gonna be a lot like that show

881
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 2: on Comedy Central that I watched with Bobby Slayton when

882
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 2: we're all kind of just telling jokes, just like busting

883
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 2: each other's damn chops. And now I don't even know

884
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: if I would want that anymore. And I'm looking at

885
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 2: a list of Comedy Central programs that have existed and

886
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 2: I'm just not finding it. But I know I saw

887
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 2: it at least once. I even remember one of the jokes.

888
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 2: But it's pretty long. You guys probably don't want to

889
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 2: hear it.

890
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 4: No, I do just.

891
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 3: Just for like, if we're not doing the at least

892
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 3: chop it up one last time.

893
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know, I mean I probably I may

894
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 2: have even told it on the show before. I don't know,

895
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,239
Speaker 2: but it's just the one joke I remember from the show.

896
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 2: And of course Bobby Slayton told this joke. He was

897
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 2: sort of the mayor of that thing. And uh, I'm

898
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 2: probably paraphrasing because it was, you know, in my memory,

899
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 2: it was probably like nineteen ninety two or something. So

900
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 2: so basically, a guy comes in and he's shopping for

901
00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:29,319
Speaker 2: a pet at the pet stories and they'll look at

902
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 2: like some puppies or something, and he's and he's and

903
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 2: he's walking around and he has a little chat with

904
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,840
Speaker 2: the owner. And he's walking by there's a parrot in

905
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 2: a cage and the parrot says, hey, hey, fuck you,

906
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 2: and the guy gets very upset. He goes, Jesus Christ,

907
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 2: may you're with your fucking parrots, said like, what kind

908
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 2: of pet story are you running? You taught this thing

909
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,760
Speaker 2: to say fuck you to a customer. I'm a paint customer.

910
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,280
Speaker 2: I was about to just buy a bunch of food

911
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 2: and other items, and now all of a sudden, I'm

912
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 2: getting told fuck you by this parent, like this is unacceptable.

913
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 2: The pet store owner goes like, I'm really really sorry.

914
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 2: He's never done that before. It won't happen again. I

915
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 2: swear it won't happen again. I'm sorry, Like, here, sir,

916
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:12,439
Speaker 2: have some free stuff, and he goes, okay, all right.

917
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 2: So the guy comes back in a week later and

918
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 2: he has gotten a dog at this point, and he's

919
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: getting some food and a bowl and a leash and everything.

920
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 2: For a week he's been like, I don't know what

921
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 2: these things are. And then as he's walking by the

922
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 2: parrot cage, he for some reason he looks over it

923
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 2: and right wings over. The parrot goes fuck you, and

924
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:32,399
Speaker 2: he goes this again. You promised me this wouldn't happen again.

925
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,239
Speaker 2: Did you hear what your bird just said to me?

926
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: And the pets are owner comes over and he gets

927
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,399
Speaker 2: in the parrot's face and he goes like hey. He goes, hey,

928
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 2: you do that again, like you're losing customers for me,

929
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 2: and he goes, you do that again, I'll rip your

930
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 2: feathers off, like this is no good. And now I'm

931
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,320
Speaker 2: thinking this guy shouldn't be a pet store owner. But

932
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:47,879
Speaker 2: at any rate, this is what he says to the parrot.

933
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 2: He goes, yeah, you don't say that to our customers.

934
00:51:50,320 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 2: And the guy's like, he's like, do you feel better, sir,

935
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:55,399
Speaker 2: And he goes, yeah, I just really I really don't

936
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 2: want that. He goes, if it happens again, you have

937
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 2: my permission, you can take this bird out behind the

938
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 2: store and and karate chop him like and and he says,

939
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 2: you hear that parrot. And the parrot's sort of nodding

940
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 2: like he knows, and so, uh, you know. The guy

941
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 2: uh buys his stuff and he leaves, and he leaves

942
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,479
Speaker 2: pretty satisfied. And a week later he comes back into

943
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 2: the store and he walks by the parrot, and the

944
00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:22,720
Speaker 2: par goes, hey buddy, Hey buddy, And the guy turns

945
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:24,399
Speaker 2: and he looks at the parrot and he goes, what

946
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:25,240
Speaker 2: in the pir goes.

947
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: You know, it really was very long.

948
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I would buy your hour special telling other

949
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 3: people's jokes.

950
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:48,360
Speaker 1: Mmm.

951
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 2: Yeah that was so. That one was from this show,

952
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 2: but I just cannot remember the name of it. Thanks Bet,

953
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 2: that's really nice. I like a lot of your jokes too.

954
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do them now.

955
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: But Beth, Yeah, have you been holding out on us?

956
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 1: Did you do the Tournament of Laughs? Did you do

957
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: TBS's Tournament of Laughs?

958
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 2: I I hope I'm hearing this wrong, Beth. Have you

959
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 2: just done forty five minutes of the show and not

960
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 2: bring up TBS's Tournament of Laughs? So that's on your

961
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 2: fucking resume.

962
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 1: The funniest tournament around.

963
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 4: Guys.

964
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 3: Look, I didn't want to tell you because we weren't

965
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 3: doing it together.

966
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: Why would that be the read? No one does it together.

967
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: It's an individual competition, Okay.

968
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 3: But that's why I got out on the first round

969
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 3: because I felt bad that I was in it and

970
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 3: you guys weren't.

971
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 1: Wow, you lost a lot of people, a lot of money.

972
00:53:55,800 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 1: I'm just say sorry. I'll just say that I'm sorry.

973
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 1: And I wonder if that was if that was a

974
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 1: fully fair competition, or if maybe there was some of

975
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 1: maybe a little side action going on.

976
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,759
Speaker 3: I do think it was rigged, and my mom does too,

977
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,720
Speaker 3: because she thinks mine was the best.

978
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 2: I got a pretty good idea who did the rigging,

979
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 2: and the same kind of person who get who turns

980
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:32,880
Speaker 2: a respectable podcast, and the sub sort of cavalcade of urance.

981
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 4: I went with Pa Circus, But I am sorry.

982
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm watched the musical You're in town.

983
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 4: I feel like I have to remind you that it

984
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 4: is a medical condition.

985
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 2: Forge right, Yeah, well I think me bringing it up

986
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 2: is part of my medical condition, my personality.

987
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 4: Okay, forgiven, who'd you lose to?

988
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:01,800
Speaker 2: Yeah? Who whooped your ass? Who kept jumping down Main Street?

989
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 4: I got my ass whooped.

990
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 3: I got my face handed to me by in the

991
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 3: first round by roastmaster General Jeff Ross.

992
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 1: No, Jeff Ross, Yes, and now we have to talk

993
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:17,280
Speaker 1: about this.

994
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 4: He crisp.

995
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, if you can believe.

996
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 3: This, like any election, there was a sexual predator that

997
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 3: you could vote for.

998
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:35,960
Speaker 1: This is hard to believe. But this guy who seemed

999
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:40,319
Speaker 1: to really revel in dressing like Hitler for televised events

1000
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: was actually up just a bad stuff that that knocked

1001
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 1: me out?

1002
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 4: Are you okay?

1003
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: Well?

1004
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 2: I kept thinking, I kept going like, wait, not my

1005
00:55:56,160 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 2: Jeff Ross, right right, right, surely there is another. It

1006
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 2: must be a pretty common name.

1007
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:07,760
Speaker 4: It's not. Yeah, you'd think it would be.

1008
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 2: You would think so, yeah, but uh, Iron that sucks.

1009
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 2: But Funny's funny. I mean, that's what we found out

1010
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 2: at the Tournamental Funny Talks of bullshit walks, you know

1011
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 2: what I mean. It's like you just gotta march on

1012
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 2: down the end of the stage, you know.

1013
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 3: Ironically, Jeff Ross is the producer of my new hour special.

1014
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:40,680
Speaker 4: But it's not that Jeff Ross.

1015
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 3: So OK, I'm gonna have to go back on what

1016
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 3: I said earlier when I said it's not a.

1017
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 1: Common name, Ye, you're gonna have.

1018
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know why I said that,

1019
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:53,279
Speaker 3: because there are two Jeff Ross's what you know in

1020
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,280
Speaker 3: the industry, I want at minimum?

1021
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:59,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, is this a plug or are we transitioning into

1022
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 1: uh into a plug.

1023
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:06,080
Speaker 4: It's actually more of kind of like save myself type thing,

1024
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 4: you know.

1025
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: Like if people hear me talk shit and then think

1026
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 3: that Jeff Ross actually produced my special.

1027
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're saying that nobody else has.

1028
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 4: That name, right, and then as the.

1029
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:22,200
Speaker 1: First name that it appears after your specialism.

1030
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,480
Speaker 3: Right, almost guaranteeing that it would be that Jeff Ross.

1031
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 4: But it's not. It's the one from Conan. The executive

1032
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 4: producer of Conan.

1033
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 2: Team, Coco Kevin is so familiar with them, so is

1034
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 2: de Devon as well. Yeah.

1035
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,160
Speaker 4: Wow, we're really plugged in.

1036
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 2: What's Coco like?

1037
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 4: He's pretty tall?

1038
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 9: Yeah, he wants fake strangled me in the studio to

1039
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 9: make someone laugh.

1040
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 4: Pretty scared.

1041
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 5: Woow, it was pretty I found it very entertaining.

1042
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 2: Okay, good recovery.

1043
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,919
Speaker 1: Did you do like a funny like I did?

1044
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 9: I did a technique.

1045
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 1: That was really good? Devin? You were.

1046
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 2: You?

1047
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 4: Did it turn you turn you on? At all? Or

1048
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:13,640
Speaker 4: is that not really?

1049
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,479
Speaker 5: No? No, it's not really my bag.

1050
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 2: No, exactly, that turns you on?

1051
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 1: Devin?

1052
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,080
Speaker 2: Then this will give us another ten twelve minutes of

1053
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 2: the show.

1054
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:29,560
Speaker 4: Honestly, I wouldn't mind knowing.

1055
00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 5: Wow, you know, just normal moms. I guess.

1056
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 4: It's all coming together.

1057
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 1: What's your special call, Beth?

1058
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 3: It's Stepatism and it's coming out August twentieth on HBO Max.

1059
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 2: As it new stuff or the same stuff I've seen?

1060
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 4: It's just the stuff that I did on the podcast.

1061
00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 2: Today, same stuff, the podcast stuff do your mom and sprint?

1062
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, that one's five years old, so I have

1063
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 3: I have done some new things since.

1064
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 2: Then in the past five Okay, Yeah, yeah, I really

1065
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:13,400
Speaker 2: liked that one. I gotta say it's not gonna be

1066
00:59:13,440 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 2: in It's pretty long. Obviously you don't want me to

1067
00:59:15,560 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 2: do it.

1068
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 4: No, I can't. I can't have you do that. I

1069
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 4: could send you the script for another.

1070
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 3: One in the chat, a new one, or let's see, I.

1071
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 2: Could do just the joke about Ohio.

1072
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 4: Let's see here. I do have one I would love

1073
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 4: for you to do.

1074
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 2: Okay, it's gonna be about piss. Let me guess.

1075
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 3: I think this one's kind of fun and it's like

1076
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 3: what all female comics only talk.

1077
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 2: About, and this is for me to do, and I

1078
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:03,080
Speaker 2: do it in the chat. Yeah, okay, Okay, hang on,

1079
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 2: Can I read it first or do I have to

1080
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 2: cold read it?

1081
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 3: I feel like you can read it first because I

1082
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 3: want you to sort of like succeed if we're not

1083
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 3: doing the bubble.

1084
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 4: I want to be able to like support you the

1085
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 4: best I can.

1086
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 2: Let me give it a shot and you could give

1087
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 2: me notes. I won't and I'm coming in in the

1088
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:22,800
Speaker 2: middle like it's like, you know, but I I mean,

1089
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 2: but I was single briefly for like a day, and

1090
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 2: that's when I realized I'm a little bit of a

1091
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 2: Tarzan dater. Like before I let go of this dick,

1092
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 2: I'm just like swinging to the next dick. So there's

1093
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 2: really only a brief period of time, just this split

1094
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 2: second where you can catch me without a dick in

1095
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 2: my hand.

1096
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I love the rift. That was freaking solid.

1097
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you for the material. That's the part

1098
01:00:54,640 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 2: I can't do.

1099
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 4: That's freaking beautiful. I want you to do my can

1100
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 4: you read do my special?

1101
01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 2: That's interesting. I mean with the you know, current economic

1102
01:01:05,520 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 2: state of comedy, uh, it's gonna be very hard for

1103
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:13,000
Speaker 2: them to generate content, and maybe me redoing your specials

1104
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 2: would be a great way to sort of make it

1105
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:15,760
Speaker 2: feel new.

1106
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:18,520
Speaker 4: It could kind of be cool if you think about it.

1107
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 3: If maybe like every for the next let's say like

1108
01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 3: three months of your podcast, I come on.

1109
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 4: Each time just and get feed you these lines.

1110
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 2: And then that'd be sick. And like I also could

1111
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 2: work in some of your famous crowd work. I could

1112
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,040
Speaker 2: be doing that as well. So before I go, I

1113
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 2: go so this, I'd be like, but I was single briefly,

1114
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 2: anybody's single in here? Yeah, a couple of hands going up?

1115
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 2: This one's single, shee's you are you?

1116
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: Okay?

1117
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 2: Don't do hands up because I it's so clap if

1118
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:59,000
Speaker 2: as anybody okay, this one knows all right. Anyway, I

1119
01:01:59,040 --> 01:02:00,640
Speaker 2: was single, you know, for a like a day, and

1120
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 2: that's when I and then I get into my Tarsan stuff.

1121
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 1: I like that makes it seem a little like you

1122
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 1: date Tarzan though. Yeah, but you're a little bit of

1123
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 1: a Tarzana.

1124
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 4: I just put a new I just put a new

1125
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 4: joke in there. Just put a new joke in there

1126
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 4: for you to do.

1127
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 1: Wow.

1128
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, is it time to leave?

1129
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:20,520
Speaker 2: As I probably?

1130
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 4: I actually have like three more hours if you guys

1131
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:23,520
Speaker 4: want to hang out.

1132
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 2: Okay, it's this odd position where I don't actually have anything,

1133
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 2: but I don't like want to do that.

1134
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 1: Kevin, why did you need to be here?

1135
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:47,479
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1136
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:49,439
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can leave?

1137
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:50,120
Speaker 2: Should I leave?

1138
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 8: Now?

1139
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:51,320
Speaker 1: What's over?

1140
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 5: Now?

1141
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 2: You and Beth are probably gonna hang out? Yeah, we

1142
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 2: got to catch up. We do notes together on your episodes.

1143
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 4: I tell them what the and stuff and what to

1144
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:02,360
Speaker 4: keep in.

1145
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, let me guess, keep in all the pe stuff. Goodbye,

1146
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 1: Goodbye

1147
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 4: Hollywood, Hamburg.