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Speaker 1: So in thinking about dating and relationships, I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: about what hope means. And because I'm a double down,

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Speaker 1: because I'm a gambler, because I'm a calculated risk taker,

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Speaker 1: I always feel more alive when I'm in the game.

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Speaker 1: Like if I knew that I had eight people coming

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Speaker 1: in every day to get a massage, and I knew

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Speaker 1: exactly how much money the massages would cost and exactly

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Speaker 1: how much I would make, I would feel a little

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Speaker 1: bit hopeless because it would be a cap I would

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Speaker 1: know exactly what it could be, and that would be

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Speaker 1: slightly soul crushing for me. I would rather be paid

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Speaker 1: less but know that I have a tremendous upside, which

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Speaker 1: is why the Bethany clause was so liberating and exhilarating,

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Speaker 1: and why I took shitty pay the first season of Housewives,

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Speaker 1: because I took the shitty pay because I was betting

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Speaker 1: on myself and knew, yes, I'll take the shitty pay,

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Speaker 1: but you can't ever take a piece of anything that

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Speaker 1: I build, because I was betting on the back end,

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Speaker 1: and I'm a gambler in that way. I grew up

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Speaker 1: at the racetrack. I'm a gambler and when I've been

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Speaker 1: in relationships that are solid and peaceful and good, but

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Speaker 1: not inspiring, and I just feel like I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: selling myself a little bit short. I'm a little bit

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Speaker 1: like dead. I'm a little bit depressed. I'm a little

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Speaker 1: bit staying out of fear and security and logical reasons.

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Speaker 1: And many people are in relationships for different reasons, and

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Speaker 1: there are many people who need to be there for

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Speaker 1: security or for what kind of a parent the person is,

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Speaker 1: or because it's an arranged marriage, or whatever your reason is.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that that's wrong if that's what

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Speaker 1: you want, but for me, the lack of hope is death.

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Speaker 1: So the lack of possibility of hope means you're not

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Speaker 1: alive in the casino, You're not there. Used to be

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Speaker 1: a thing called like the pick six at the racetrack,

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Speaker 1: and like you'd have to get a winner of each

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Speaker 1: race through the sixth race, and like you would say,

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Speaker 1: I'm still alive in the pick six, meaning you haven't won,

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Speaker 1: but you haven't lost yet. I like to still be alive.

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Speaker 1: So I like the possibility of hope in dating, meaning

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Speaker 1: I haven't found what I believe that I ultimately should

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Speaker 1: have and want and I'm looking for and I often

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Speaker 1: leave the game before I've really played it out. I've

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Speaker 1: always talked about the burner method, having different people on

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Speaker 1: the burner. Somebody might be on simmer, somebody's on boil.

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Speaker 1: You're not sure. Often I eliminate something right away just

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Speaker 1: because something turns me off. Sometimes you stay in something

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Speaker 1: too long because you're trying to convince yourself. But by

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Speaker 1: and large I get into a relationship. It's often the

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Speaker 1: wrong car that I'm getting into. It feels good, and

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Speaker 1: I never give myself really the chance to really grab

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Speaker 1: what my version of the brass ring is. And for me,

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Speaker 1: being in something that yes is secure and yes is

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Speaker 1: loving and good, but in ways soul crushing or dimming

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Speaker 1: my light or not really ultimately going for it, like

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Speaker 1: really going for the gold in my way, whatever that is,

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Speaker 1: that is a little bit soul crushing. And the lack

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Speaker 1: of possibility of hope is actually death for me because

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Speaker 1: I like inspiration and a chance and the dream and

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Speaker 1: I'm hopeful, romantic, not hopeless. So we've talked about bread crummers,

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Speaker 1: love bombers, pen pals, and there's a snooze, you lose

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Speaker 1: aspect so I've gone out with men and they like me,

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Speaker 1: and they're willing to wait weeks before the next date,

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Speaker 1: meaning like over a month for the next date. And

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Speaker 1: maybe I was somewhere, they were somewhere, et cetera, but like,

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Speaker 1: without even saying hi, I'd like to see you, when

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Speaker 1: can we see each other? Because then you'd be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: next week. And this is a person who's supposed to

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Speaker 1: put something on the board. In my case, it could

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Speaker 1: be someone very successful who could easily get on a

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Speaker 1: plane to take you to dinner. That's not relatable for everybody,

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Speaker 1: but for me it is. People have done it. And

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Speaker 1: whatever your version of that is, whether it's taking you

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Speaker 1: for pizza the next day or facetiming you because they

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Speaker 1: can't see you, or telling you how into you they are,

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Speaker 1: or sending you flowers, they have to get something going,

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Speaker 1: so you don't forget about them, because if they snooze,

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Speaker 1: they will lose You lose attention, you lose your excitement,

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Speaker 1: and it's not the same. It's hard to get the

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Speaker 1: ball back. You have momentum. You don't fuck around and

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Speaker 1: find out, especially at a certain age, especially at a

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Speaker 1: certain age, if it's hard to meet people, You're gonna

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Speaker 1: just like test fate and wait. Fuck that you want it,

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Speaker 1: you go get it right now. You do not take

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Speaker 1: for granted that it could be gone tomorrow. Absolutely not.

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Speaker 1: You like something, you take it, you go get it.

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Speaker 1: So I've started a dating concept, a dating community, and

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Speaker 1: I have overshot the mark in three weeks ten couples dating,

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Speaker 1: and my definition is a number of dates and if

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Speaker 1: you do it in a certain manner, which I'm gatekeeping

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Speaker 1: and choosing my words wisely, the success rate is crazy.

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Speaker 1: And for me, my metric is not like if someone

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Speaker 1: gets married. I don't like, that's their own business and

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Speaker 1: that's their own life. My problem to solve is like

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Speaker 1: going on a date and actually liking the person, the

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Speaker 1: person being as described, connecting and wanting to see them

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Speaker 1: multiple times. To me, that's success. I'm not a fucking therapist.

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Speaker 1: It's not my job to make sure that people get

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Speaker 1: down the aisle. And by the way, who cares like

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Speaker 1: not everyone wants to be married or legally married, and

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Speaker 1: that doesn't have to be everybody's construct. And I think

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Speaker 1: the whole entire wedding industry I'm going to fucking turn

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Speaker 1: upside down and the dating industry. With a little luck,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to rock like a fucking sooner. We keep

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Speaker 1: going deeper and deeper, and it feels almost like when

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Speaker 1: I started be Stronger. I was exhausted, but like I

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Speaker 1: kept going for it. And it's not only a not

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Speaker 1: for profit, it's a Bethany is paying for it model

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Speaker 1: right now because I'm spending money to be able to

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Speaker 1: have people help me with it, to be able to

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Speaker 1: facilitate whatever I need for it, intellectual property, business lawyers,

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Speaker 1: all the things, because I think this could be a

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Speaker 1: massive thing, and I'm flushing it all out. But I

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Speaker 1: told this now. I told this to someone who created

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Speaker 1: one of the most successful apps, and they said they

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Speaker 1: get thirty pitches a week and this was their favorite

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Speaker 1: by far out of hundreds. I pitched it to a massive,

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Speaker 1: massive tech billionaire who invests in different businesses and brands,

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Speaker 1: and this person said they never like any ideas and

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Speaker 1: they were obsessed. And they said, quote unquote, I'm all in.

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Speaker 1: I've had twenty five people minimum ask me to invest,

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Speaker 1: and I don't need anybody's money. I've had twenty five

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Speaker 1: people minimums say that they've worked with matchmakers and they're

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Speaker 1: the biggest group of crooks in the world because they

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Speaker 1: do a method of just like check the box, fill

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Speaker 1: the quota. So they want to get you a date

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Speaker 1: because you've been bothering them about it because it's been weeks,

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Speaker 1: and then you go on the date and the guy

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Speaker 1: literally does not align with you at all. He could

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Speaker 1: have ten kids. There have been people that have six kids,

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Speaker 1: eight kids like that are Bible belt strict, devout Christians,

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Speaker 1: but it was never marketed that way. It was marketed

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Speaker 1: that they're Christian or Catholic, but not that they listen

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Speaker 1: to only Christian music. And you're setting me up with

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Speaker 1: this person, a man whose ex wife supports him. Have

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Speaker 1: you seen my ten year divorce? Which is basically what

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Speaker 1: that was like. They just want to check the box.

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Speaker 1: This is why these men also have told me that

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Speaker 1: they found out that women have been paid to go

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Speaker 1: out with them, which is why all the women that

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Speaker 1: were seeing are saying that they and many other people

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Speaker 1: are all saying they've been passed around the same guys

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Speaker 1: from these matchmakers. Everyone says, I'm not even saying this

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Speaker 1: is my opinion. I have my own opinion. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people don't love apps, but I don't mind apps

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Speaker 1: in ways. I don't use them that much, but I

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Speaker 1: think there's a benefit to them. And why have matchmakers

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Speaker 1: from the biggest places in the country. You've been calling

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Speaker 1: me since I've been talking about this, asking me what

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Speaker 1: my concept is, like worried with one person is like

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Speaker 1: two people actually said I would consider leaving. What are

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Speaker 1: you got going? I'm not playing around because I'm so

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Speaker 1: mad at women not being in charge and being in

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Speaker 1: the power and control of their own love lives, and

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Speaker 1: being fucking beggars waiting for these matchmakers weeks on end

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Speaker 1: to find you one guy when you on your own

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Speaker 1: could find five. But you spend money because you think

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Speaker 1: they have this majestic formula which they don't have. And

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Speaker 1: they tell you, you know, this man is very interested,

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Speaker 1: but he can't speak until September because it's the summer

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Speaker 1: and he's traveling. You're like, no, this guy's not interested then,

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Speaker 1: because no interested intentional party is willing to wait that

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Speaker 1: you could get scooped up by someone else once they

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Speaker 1: say that they're interested in you. So it's a punt.

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Speaker 1: It's punting. It's literally the most archaic, ridiculous process you

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Speaker 1: can have or they'll say, I have a guy for you.

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Speaker 1: Can we set a call next week. You're gonna speak

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Speaker 1: to someone in nine days about a guy that they

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Speaker 1: have for you. He could be married by then. We

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Speaker 1: could all be dead by then. Like, call me today,

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Speaker 1: he's interested. I'm in, she said, Let's get this going,

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Speaker 1: like needs to be immediate. Also, women have no idea

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Speaker 1: what to wear in a fucking first date. It's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I've been talking about this, like I today went to

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Speaker 1: go find this woman what to wear because women are

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Speaker 1: wearing the wrong thing on the first date. I know

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Speaker 1: this now because of what all the women are wearing.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, wow, that's what you thought. Immediately, No,

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Speaker 1: immediately no. So I'm going to start listing what I

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Speaker 1: think good choices are for women to wear on first

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Speaker 1: dates and frankly men and frankly men. I'm starting out

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Speaker 1: with women. But it's crazy. It's crazy. Okay, So what's

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Speaker 1: your place of wounding and dating and relationships? What's the flaw?

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Speaker 1: What's the mistake you keep making over and over? I'll

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Speaker 1: go first. So mine is my picker can be off,

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Speaker 1: but I respond to how much someone loves me, So

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Speaker 1: it's hard for me to keep my feet on the

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Speaker 1: ground and keep my seatbelt buckled because I get up

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Speaker 1: and lean into how much someone loves me, and that

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Speaker 1: becomes something that's a life for me and it can

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Speaker 1: sustain me. Now, if in fact I love someone that

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Speaker 1: much on my own and my own right, then that's

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Speaker 1: obviously the winning, perfect combination. But it's hard to know

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Speaker 1: that because you're getting so swept up. I how someone

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Speaker 1: feels for you. Everybody wants that, maybe someone's spoiling you

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Speaker 1: with gifts or flowers or candy or whatever, and you

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Speaker 1: have to I have to keep myself fucking buckle because

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Speaker 1: no one else can decide what I want. So it's

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Speaker 1: a very big thing for me. And when I started

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Speaker 1: this whole dating era, after nine months of not dating,

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Speaker 1: I made a commitment to myself to take six months

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Speaker 1: from when I first liked somebody, like really liked somebody,

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Speaker 1: not meaning I will go on a second date with

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Speaker 1: them that doesn't mean anything, meaning I really like someone,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'm being intimate with them, and take six months

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Speaker 1: from that time, which is really hard. I've never been

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Speaker 1: able to do it. I think three is hard, but

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Speaker 1: the goal is six months and don't fully commit and

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Speaker 1: lock it down until you've been through that six months.

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Speaker 1: So it's two full seasons. Obviously you don't get married,

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Speaker 1: get engaged or anything like that until four seasons, but

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Speaker 1: it's really two seasons to be like, is this my

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Speaker 1: person based on all of the things that I really

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Speaker 1: want by and large not based on like just impulse

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Speaker 1: and passion and intimacy and like immediate. The other thing

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Speaker 1: is another place of wounding is being critical. I always

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Speaker 1: envy and I always feel so comforted by men who

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Speaker 1: like aren't critical at all of me. They just love

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Speaker 1: me the way I am. Meaning I'm looking like a

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Speaker 1: train wreck, I go my hair frizzed out. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: give a shit. I'm not vain, I'm so abrasive. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I'm so outspoken. I'm so insane and unhinged and unfiltered.

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Speaker 1: And so I always when someone accepts me the way

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Speaker 1: I am, I'm always like, wait, wow, you must be

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Speaker 1: a really patient, tolerant person. And I also always realize, like,

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Speaker 1: who the fuck do I think? I am being critical?

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Speaker 1: And I'm I'm this person, But I can be critical

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Speaker 1: what somebody chose to wear, what they did or didn't do,

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Speaker 1: how they handled this situation or didn't handle the situation, like,

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Speaker 1: what are their kids like? What is their dog? Like?

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Speaker 1: What is their cat like? What is there? How many

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Speaker 1: cats do they have? Do they have any cats? Like?

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Speaker 1: What's their relationship with their mother? Like? And it really

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Speaker 1: is a New York City apartment. You're not gonna get

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Speaker 1: everything gonna You're not gonna get a good skyline, a

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Speaker 1: nice bathtub and high ceilings and have a good view,

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Speaker 1: like you have to pick a big kitchen. You have

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Speaker 1: to pick what's the most important to you. And trusting

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Speaker 1: the process is critical, and intervening in your own behavior

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Speaker 1: and criticism is critical too. I've known women that'll be like,

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Speaker 1: his shoes really turned me off, And it's like, are

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Speaker 1: you fucking kidding me? By the way, I get it?

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Speaker 1: I get it, shoes turned me off. You could break

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Speaker 1: up with someone over bad shoes, but you really could

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Speaker 1: change that. You do not understand how clueless men are.

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Speaker 1: You don't get it. Men get divorced and they don't

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Speaker 1: know what the fuck they're wearing. It's like that movie

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Speaker 1: Crazy Stupid Love. They need a makeover, they really do.

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Speaker 1: They need some help. They all do. Women I don't

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Speaker 1: know either. Women go out with the hoe bag like

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Speaker 1: severe makeup, look the extensions, the lashes, everything, and they

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Speaker 1: don't realize it's not what men really want, that their

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Speaker 1: insecurity is going on a date. Oh, I'm thinking about

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Speaker 1: this as I set somebody up for tonight, and I

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Speaker 1: like set her up for such success with what the

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Speaker 1: hell she's gonna wear, and I'm so excited. I feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm going on it. This dating concept has me

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Speaker 1: shook because I feel like I'm going on a date tonight.

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Speaker 1: I mean I actually am, but that's not what And

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Speaker 1: also other fun fact, I'm not dating within it. I

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Speaker 1: got my own program. I'm not dating within there. Not

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Speaker 1: that I wouldn't get high on my own supply, I

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Speaker 1: absolutely fucking would. But I'm just doing my own thing.

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Speaker 1: Every time a great man comes in, I don't even

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Speaker 1: think of myself. I'm just like, who's it going to

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Speaker 1: be for? Back to the dating thing. Another crazy thing

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Speaker 1: is that women gatekeep and women won't share a man

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Speaker 1: they went out with, even if the man didn't like

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Speaker 1: them or they didn't like the man. And the craziest

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Speaker 1: thing is that two women could look exactly the same,

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Speaker 1: live in the same neighborhood, and be the same age

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Speaker 1: and literally want completely different things because it's about the

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Speaker 1: other things like what they want, like how many kids

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Speaker 1: does he have? How does he vibe? What's his personality temperature?

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Speaker 1: Like is he a good parent? Does he like to party?

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Speaker 1: Does he like to travel? Does he play tennis? Is athletic?

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Speaker 1: Like if someone does traflons, I'm not going to be

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Speaker 1: attracted to them. But there could be another girl right

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Speaker 1: next to me that looks exactly like I do, and

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Speaker 1: she's my age and she loves men who do triathlons,

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Speaker 1: or he happens to be a democratic Jewish Man and

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Speaker 1: so that's perfect for her. It's just very, very specific.

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Speaker 1: But nuance is so critical. You could fall in love

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Speaker 1: with someone just because they play pick a ball and

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Speaker 1: that's a big part of your life, or just because

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Speaker 1: they're a homebody and they want to rest. Their eye

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Speaker 1: color and their height is not the be all end

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Speaker 1: all of who you're gonna end up with. So if

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Speaker 1: you are dating to meet someone as a life partner

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Speaker 1: or a high husband or a wife, okay, you need

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Speaker 1: to know in the beginning if the other person is

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Speaker 1: looking for the same thing. That doesn't make you desperate,

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Speaker 1: needy or a beggar. And you can say it, but

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Speaker 1: you're not going to say to someone on a dating

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Speaker 1: app or in the messages like what are you looking for?

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Speaker 1: Someone said it to me and I actually respected it.

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Speaker 1: But you can't say it in a needy, beggar way.

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Speaker 1: You have to say it in a more straightforward way

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Speaker 1: on a first date, on a second date. But you

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Speaker 1: better in the beginning find your confident, secure way to

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Speaker 1: know if someone is ultimately looking for a life partner

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Speaker 1: or a relationship, or to have kids or what they're

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Speaker 1: looking for. Because you don't got that kind of time.

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Speaker 1: You do not need to waste your time. It is

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Speaker 1: now time or no time. It is go time or

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Speaker 1: no time. Like That's it. The dating concept that everyone's

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Speaker 1: been freaking out about, that I've been talking about, that

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Speaker 1: I've been dipping my toe into, that is flying, that

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Speaker 1: has multiple serious couples, which I will not share the

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Speaker 1: details of how it works. But if you do not

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Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship or find a life partner,

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Speaker 1: this is not for you. I was talking to someone

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Speaker 1: two days ago who's good looking, handsome, wants to date,

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Speaker 1: said to him, are you looking for a life partner

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Speaker 1: right now? Are you looking for a wife or a

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Speaker 1: life partner. Nope, I'm not looking for that right now.

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Speaker 1: That changed it. One would think he's single, he wants

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Speaker 1: to date. You could go out with them on five dates.

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Speaker 1: He could take you on a trip, he could buy

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Speaker 1: you jewelry, he could be in love with you. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to get married or have a relationship. And

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Speaker 1: I know that because I asked him off the bat

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Speaker 1: ten seconds after he said yes, he's interested in a

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Speaker 1: dating concept. But when I weeded it out more and

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Speaker 1: was like, do you want a life partner slash wife? No, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is not for you. You're excused very different when

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Speaker 1: you come into this thing. When you start dating, you

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Speaker 1: figure out what you want and you make sure that

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Speaker 1: what someone else wants is lined up, because you're not

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Speaker 1: going to make a dog a cat. You're not going

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Speaker 1: to show someone. Men are not like that. Men are

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Speaker 1: business minded creatures. Men the minute they know they go,

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Speaker 1: they want it now. And it's easier to find women

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Speaker 1: for a man who knows exactly what he wants than

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Speaker 1: to find men for a woman who knows exactly what

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Speaker 1: she wants. Because women don't know exactly what they want,

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Speaker 1: it's not the same women meet men, and they want

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Speaker 1: the man. They want the good looking man, they want

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Speaker 1: the guy who has money, they want the man who

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Speaker 1: checks the boxes. Once they get with the man, then

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Speaker 1: they're gonna start getting critical about all his little things,

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Speaker 1: about the way he smells, breeze, eats, stresses. All that

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Speaker 1: stuff is going to annoy them because they already kind

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Speaker 1: of like they wanted it in the beginning because of

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Speaker 1: what it all sounded like. But now they're gonna get annoyed.

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Speaker 1: A man less so a man if he decides what

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Speaker 1: he wants and he gets it and he wants it,

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Speaker 1: and he's signed up for it, and he locks in

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Speaker 1: and he imprints, he's going to be more tolerant over

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Speaker 1: those stupid things. Think Adam Driver and girls that show

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Speaker 1: he wanted no part of. I still hate Lena Dunham

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Speaker 1: for that character. Brennan and I are so mad and

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Speaker 1: we haven't even seen the whole show. We're just mad.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, he was like a fuck around idiot in

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Speaker 1: his apartment and she would come over there and booty

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Speaker 1: calls and take the scraps, and then one day like

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Speaker 1: it was like she wants he was like, do you

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Speaker 1: want you want me to be your boyfriend, and she

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Speaker 1: wanted it. You could tell she wanted her body, her vagina,

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Speaker 1: her actions, her words, her desperation, her calls, all let

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Speaker 1: into that. Then the minute he gave it to her,

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Speaker 1: she fucked her ound with it. Because once he fell,

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Speaker 1: he fell hard. He was a man, he wanted, he

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Speaker 1: was in. Men know what they want. So it's easier

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Speaker 1: to find a man as an anchor and bring a

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Speaker 1: woman to him. It doesn't mean you're working for women.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you're working for men. It means it's

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Speaker 1: just an easier anchor because he's more business minded, more decisive,

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Speaker 1: more I know what I want right now, Bring it

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Speaker 1: to me.

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Speaker 2: But to faster, back to back, to baster. What to