1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,480
Speaker 1: Hey guys, I'm Kayleie Short and this is too much

2
00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:18,759
Speaker 1: to say in quest it out to you, so kind

3
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,840
Speaker 1: of continuing on last week's theme of high school, Um,

4
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,640
Speaker 1: I still can't believe I uploaded that episode that was very,

5
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,160
Speaker 1: very cringe e. But thank you for making me feel

6
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,440
Speaker 1: a little less alone and how ridiculous I was as

7
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,519
Speaker 1: a teenager. But this episode, I'm very proud of the

8
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,800
Speaker 1: name high School Trauma Club. Get it. But I'm gonna

9
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:38,879
Speaker 1: be talking about the things that happened to you when

10
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,720
Speaker 1: you're a teenager that you kind of carry with you

11
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,920
Speaker 1: into adulthood and and they become those voices in the

12
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,800
Speaker 1: back of your head that are the ones you need

13
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,720
Speaker 1: to silence, that are making you insecure, and kind of

14
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,760
Speaker 1: talk about how it affects you. We're going to talk

15
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,720
Speaker 1: about dress codes and and the whole modest is hottest thing.

16
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,040
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about your first breakups. We're gonna

17
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,280
Speaker 1: talk about all of that. And I'm really excited because

18
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,760
Speaker 1: my guest this week is my best friend from middle

19
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,360
Speaker 1: school on Arianna Smith. And who better to have on

20
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,600
Speaker 1: to talk about that than someone who was there. So

21
00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,399
Speaker 1: let's meet Ari. So Arianna Smith has been by my

22
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,399
Speaker 1: side through so many things, from my first breakup to

23
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,279
Speaker 1: my first run in with the cops, which is probably

24
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,600
Speaker 1: a story for another time, but it wasn't. It wasn't

25
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,080
Speaker 1: as badass as it sounds. Um. But we've been friends

26
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,480
Speaker 1: for a really, really long time and we have. We

27
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,720
Speaker 1: never went to school together. We went to church camp together,

28
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 1: and she's just been there through everything. And now she

29
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,440
Speaker 1: lives in Nashville. She's killing it and working a very

30
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,600
Speaker 1: fun job at Postmates. But she's not a driver, which

31
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 1: I feel like I always need to say, like corporate.

32
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,280
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, that's really cool. I'm like, she wished

33
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:44,760
Speaker 1: for Postmates corporate. I have a very cool corporate job.

34
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,840
Speaker 1: Not like there's anything wrong with driving for Postmates. I

35
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,880
Speaker 1: did that before. I've never done it. I kind of

36
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:54,960
Speaker 1: want to just to see. I was driving for Postmates,

37
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,600
Speaker 1: like honestly, not that long ago, probably a year ago,

38
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,360
Speaker 1: and I brought pizza to somebody's house and they're like,

39
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, are you Kaylee short? And I'm like,

40
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:06,960
Speaker 1: maybe I'm going to not drive proposing Oh hey, I mean,

41
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,800
Speaker 1: you know, like a recognis I'm just seeing how the

42
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,399
Speaker 1: other half lives, Like I'm not going to humble myself.

43
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:20,640
Speaker 1: Yeah me ten dollars in debt. Absolutely not. But anyways,

44
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,360
Speaker 1: so she's been there through all of these embarrassing moments

45
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,000
Speaker 1: that you've heard me talk about on the podcast. But

46
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,960
Speaker 1: right now, what we're going to talk about is some

47
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,720
Speaker 1: of the things that girls have to go through in

48
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,440
Speaker 1: high school. You know, talking about this stuff that affects

49
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 1: you because it happens when you're growing up, but it

50
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,840
Speaker 1: doesn't leave your brain. And I know this is something

51
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,200
Speaker 1: I've struggled with. Um, I don't know how else to

52
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,079
Speaker 1: say this. We both have really big boobs. Ariana Winds

53
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,480
Speaker 1: for sure, but like I'm an f I have just

54
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,400
Speaker 1: special order eye braws and they look like bulletproof vest.

55
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,560
Speaker 1: They're just not cute, and I think I just must

56
00:02:54,600 --> 00:03:00,520
Speaker 1: be missized because I no way we'll take you to Harry. Also,

57
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:05,480
Speaker 1: I love Airy so much, like taking my little sister

58
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,320
Speaker 1: shopping for bras and stuff, like, I feel so comfortable

59
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:11,119
Speaker 1: bringing her there because it's all real girls and it's

60
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:14,400
Speaker 1: like what real bodies look like. And I just can't

61
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,920
Speaker 1: imagine bringing her to some of the other bras stores.

62
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,480
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I found Airy in high school, but I

63
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,600
Speaker 1: had to go to like an out of state mall

64
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:29,000
Speaker 1: to go there, the Boston Galleria, Cambridge Gallery. Yeah, and

65
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,799
Speaker 1: I was just like, this is my hidden secret. This

66
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,400
Speaker 1: is awesome because it wasn't Victoria's Secret. I mean where

67
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,600
Speaker 1: else would you get bras other than like Victoria's Secret

68
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,800
Speaker 1: and Coals or Target, but like being able to go

69
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,360
Speaker 1: in and be measured and have it be like a

70
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,720
Speaker 1: positive space, and like they have those like post it

71
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 1: notes on the mirrors and there where you write a

72
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,440
Speaker 1: nice note for the next girl to go in, and

73
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,920
Speaker 1: it's I love, It's so wholesome. I've cried way too

74
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,040
Speaker 1: many times in the Coal's dressing room. I was to

75
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,440
Speaker 1: go back. I was talking to somebody about this because

76
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,600
Speaker 1: like I was wearing the wrong size bras for a

77
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,080
Speaker 1: really long time and I finally got one an Airy

78
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,320
Speaker 1: that was the right size, and I put it on

79
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:06,640
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, this is my

80
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,800
Speaker 1: first time going bra shopping that I've never that I've

81
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,280
Speaker 1: ever not cried. Yeah, I've always had denile, probably because

82
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 1: you know, of everything that everyone's ever said to me

83
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,000
Speaker 1: about my boobs. But I've always been like, I'm going

84
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,040
Speaker 1: to try and fit these into the smallest bra and

85
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:22,720
Speaker 1: then I always just ended up looking like I had

86
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:29,240
Speaker 1: four boobs because I was like, yeah, exactly, So a

87
00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:33,719
Speaker 1: lot of that, like girls aren't born being ashamed of

88
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,640
Speaker 1: their bodies, Like no one is born being ashamed of

89
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,279
Speaker 1: their body. It's something that's taught. And like you guys

90
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,560
Speaker 1: have heard me talk about on the podcast, I grew

91
00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,479
Speaker 1: up very very Christian, and Arianna came to church camp.

92
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,440
Speaker 1: She was a little bit less involved with the church

93
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,080
Speaker 1: than I was. But it was a tough environment to

94
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:55,359
Speaker 1: grow up in, especially like hitting puberty earlier, and you

95
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,479
Speaker 1: hit puberty really early. I hit it like ten nine. Yeah.

96
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,320
Speaker 1: I had Winnie the Prood, Winnie the pool training bro.

97
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,200
Speaker 1: I had one from the Mary Kay Nashley Walmart brand.

98
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,920
Speaker 1: Oh awesome, and it didn't have their faces on it.

99
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,960
Speaker 1: It was paying. My older sister bought it for me,

100
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,000
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm the ship, but you were though,

101
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,680
Speaker 1: oh god, I love Mary Kay Nashley. But I like

102
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,440
Speaker 1: just remember as not thinking anything of it, Like I

103
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,520
Speaker 1: was like, oh wow, I'm getting boobs. The American Girl

104
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,320
Speaker 1: Doll Book told me this was going to happen. That book,

105
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,720
Speaker 1: the Karen Keeping of You. I feel like every millennial

106
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,520
Speaker 1: girl it's a shared universal experience. It was in my

107
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,479
Speaker 1: elementary school library, and I don't think any other girl

108
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,240
Speaker 1: was able to learn about their bodies because I always

109
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:45,360
Speaker 1: had a detect. I remember like obsessively reading it because

110
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,520
Speaker 1: I my parents never had the talk with me. I

111
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,960
Speaker 1: don't think mine did either. I think it was like

112
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,360
Speaker 1: mostly the book and I just kind of like gauged

113
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,760
Speaker 1: what the rest of life was going to be. Like.

114
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,760
Speaker 1: I also went to a school that was abstinence only education,

115
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:05,120
Speaker 1: which resulted in several dean pregnancies at the school. Um

116
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,360
Speaker 1: because you can't tell people not to fuck. It doesn't work.

117
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,479
Speaker 1: It doesn't work. You can't tell them about it and

118
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 1: then be like, but you can't do this, oh totally,

119
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:19,920
Speaker 1: And like I remember the church like leading this charge

120
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:24,320
Speaker 1: against guard assil, the HPV vaccine that can protect you

121
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:28,040
Speaker 1: from getting cervical cancer, because so I wasn't allowed to

122
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,560
Speaker 1: get it because I was told it would make me

123
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,600
Speaker 1: have sex. And I was twelve. I didn't even know

124
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,839
Speaker 1: what it was. I was like, well, don't you want

125
00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,760
Speaker 1: me to not get cancer? And I didn't understand. And

126
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,520
Speaker 1: the good news is you can now get it till

127
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,320
Speaker 1: your forties. So I got it last week and I

128
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,839
Speaker 1: told my doctor because he was like, why didn't you

129
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:45,719
Speaker 1: get that? Like everybody does? And I was like, well,

130
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,719
Speaker 1: how much time do you have? Oh that's insane. Yeah,

131
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,520
Speaker 1: And it was just stuff like that, but especially like

132
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:57,680
Speaker 1: dress code things like I remember like having to have

133
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,800
Speaker 1: at the school, have the male teachers male principle will

134
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:06,120
Speaker 1: be tell me when I was ten or eleven eleven,

135
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,360
Speaker 1: probably to get down on my knees in front of

136
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,400
Speaker 1: them to make sure that my skirt touched the ground.

137
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:14,440
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's really fuckingh Yeah. And like, and

138
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,680
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that that those men were pedophiles, but

139
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,800
Speaker 1: like you need to understand that that's a really inappropriate

140
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,160
Speaker 1: thing to do to a young girl. And like I

141
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,640
Speaker 1: at that point, like I mean, I looked like a

142
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,280
Speaker 1: ten year old. Like and then they're saying like if

143
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,200
Speaker 1: your bras straps showing, or if your skirt is too short,

144
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,800
Speaker 1: or any of these things, and you're going to make

145
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,200
Speaker 1: men stumble, And like, it is not my fault that

146
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,400
Speaker 1: a man would be attracted to a ten year old girl. Now,

147
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: if if a little boy is distracted by a little

148
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,360
Speaker 1: girl's shoulder, maybe the little boy should be talked to yeah,

149
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,240
Speaker 1: and I just don't feel like that's the thing. But

150
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,960
Speaker 1: they're like just talking about how it's your responsibility as

151
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:55,240
Speaker 1: a woman to not make men stumble and whatnot. And

152
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 1: I went down a rabbit hole preparing for this episode

153
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,120
Speaker 1: reading about there was there were these books and I'm

154
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,440
Speaker 1: not going to name them because I'm not trying to

155
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,559
Speaker 1: like just attack anybody, but um, there are these books

156
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,720
Speaker 1: that I read when I was growing up that you know,

157
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,880
Speaker 1: we would do Bible studies and we talk about them

158
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,040
Speaker 1: and have you know, question and answer sessions and and

159
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,600
Speaker 1: you know, i'd read them with a group of girls,

160
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,920
Speaker 1: would do like a book club whatever. Kind of a

161
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,120
Speaker 1: weird thing to spend your childhood doing. But that's fair

162
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:28,200
Speaker 1: for another time. So I read this, this article on

163
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,560
Speaker 1: a Christian blog from two thousand eleven, and I think

164
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,360
Speaker 1: that this was one that I actually did end up

165
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,120
Speaker 1: like I had read at that time. And they reference

166
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,920
Speaker 1: this verse from First Timothy to nine and ten, and

167
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,920
Speaker 1: this is the verse that they're basing this entire teaching

168
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,120
Speaker 1: off of. I also want women to dress modestly with

169
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,280
Speaker 1: decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or

170
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,560
Speaker 1: pearls or expensive clothes, but with good works appropriate for

171
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,239
Speaker 1: women who profess to worship God. That doesn't say anything

172
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:03,720
Speaker 1: about showing your shoulder, Like yeah, it's actually and I

173
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,520
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything wrong with that verse. I think

174
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,520
Speaker 1: that's absolutely telling you to be like, hey, you should

175
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 1: be a little bit more concerned with how beautiful you

176
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:13,199
Speaker 1: are on the inside than on the outside. Like it's

177
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,600
Speaker 1: it's just like valuing yourself is more than just your body. Yeah,

178
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,240
Speaker 1: well I don't. It doesn't mean reference your body. It's like, oh,

179
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,800
Speaker 1: don't wear expensive jewelry, don't like flaunt your ship. And

180
00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:26,520
Speaker 1: I think that that's totally fine to say, Like that's

181
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,920
Speaker 1: distracting if you're in church and you're like wearing like

182
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,840
Speaker 1: a pound of diamonds. Like they're like, don't be gaudy.

183
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,920
Speaker 1: Yeah that's what you're Don't be tacky. That's all Timothy

184
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,800
Speaker 1: was saying. I guess that's a bad word to say.

185
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:42,680
Speaker 1: Don't be gaudy. Be godly, not gaudy. They always have

186
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,000
Speaker 1: these snappy catchphrases like modest is hottest. You know. I

187
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:50,240
Speaker 1: was like, okay, so funny, because I mean, you grew

188
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,040
Speaker 1: up in that, but I kind of just experienced um

189
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:58,800
Speaker 1: real Christian you know. Culture. Yeah, culture for like a

190
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,720
Speaker 1: week every summer because I went to camp to you know,

191
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,640
Speaker 1: hang out with you guys. But I did enjoy it,

192
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,559
Speaker 1: But um yeah, I mostly got it from just people

193
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 1: being like, yeah, you're going to distract the boys. I had,

194
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,199
Speaker 1: you know, my boobs in elementary school and they'd be like,

195
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,400
Speaker 1: your cleavage is showing. I didn't know how to control them.

196
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 1: They're fat hanging off my body. I mean I literally

197
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:24,360
Speaker 1: like I can wear something that would be modest quote unquote,

198
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,880
Speaker 1: and it looks pornographic on me because it's just how

199
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,439
Speaker 1: my body is shaped. You know, like you could wear

200
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,079
Speaker 1: a normal V neck and your boobs are going to

201
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,040
Speaker 1: be like hello, because it's you know, it was insane,

202
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,760
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy. And then to be like putting all

203
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:40,640
Speaker 1: this pressure on young girls and just reminding them because

204
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,440
Speaker 1: I was so acutely aware of my own body and

205
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,720
Speaker 1: so embarrassed of it to begin with, and always like

206
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,839
Speaker 1: and I mean, how uncomfortable is it when you're young?

207
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 1: Like I was probably like remember specific instance when I

208
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,000
Speaker 1: was probably like fourteen or fifteen, and I was at

209
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,160
Speaker 1: the grocery store and this like older guy was checking

210
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:01,080
Speaker 1: me out, and I felt so gross, and you know,

211
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,120
Speaker 1: like you were young, and it doesn't stop these freaking

212
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,839
Speaker 1: weirdos from doing that, and so it wasn't like I

213
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,920
Speaker 1: wanted everyone to see my boobs at all. I remember

214
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:14,280
Speaker 1: getting cat called walking home in fifth grade, I like

215
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,439
Speaker 1: a man driving a car. I was just like, that

216
00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:19,760
Speaker 1: is disgusting, and I remember like yelling out my age.

217
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,160
Speaker 1: I don't really know, I think it was fifth grade yet,

218
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:27,560
Speaker 1: and I was just like that's disgusting. Crazy guys checking

219
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,280
Speaker 1: me out in the car at the drive at the

220
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:34,600
Speaker 1: car wash, and I was just like, god, I'm fourteen

221
00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,920
Speaker 1: years old, yeah, Herbert, Yeah, And I just don't see

222
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,800
Speaker 1: how that's my problem. No, so you're teaching girl, but

223
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,120
Speaker 1: you still you see a guy looking at you and

224
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,880
Speaker 1: needs to pull up your shirt and all that stuff.

225
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 1: It's I mean, there's a there's a purpose for school

226
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,480
Speaker 1: dress coats. Like no one needs to see your ass

227
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:57,160
Speaker 1: crack at all, like rice jeans. Yeah, and like you

228
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,720
Speaker 1: you should, like I don't know if you're an underage

229
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,920
Speaker 1: girl person, nobody see your nipples, you know what I mean,

230
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,960
Speaker 1: Like that's weird, Like don't don't have that ship out.

231
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,760
Speaker 1: But like it's also like you know, they're like, hey,

232
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,600
Speaker 1: don't wear gang signs. Okay, fair makes sense. Hey don't

233
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 1: wear the Confederate flag on a T shirt? Cool, makes sense.

234
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,440
Speaker 1: But like I do remember in middle school, um, one

235
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,840
Speaker 1: of the guys brought uh and his grandfather is like,

236
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:28,440
Speaker 1: Nazi jacket. Oh yeah those are hello illegal, you can't

237
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,560
Speaker 1: do that. Yeah. No, it was middle school and he

238
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,920
Speaker 1: brought it to class. I remember it was in social studies,

239
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,120
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I get, you know, you know, told

240
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,600
Speaker 1: off when I have fucking shorts on, but this kid,

241
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:44,240
Speaker 1: this is fifth period, wow, and he's bringing it around

242
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,360
Speaker 1: all day. Yeah. I'm confused by you know, the priorities

243
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:53,079
Speaker 1: the priory school totally. And it's just like I understand

244
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,600
Speaker 1: why it exists for reasons like that, but you're just

245
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,880
Speaker 1: put you're making it so restrictive, like and the things

246
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,679
Speaker 1: I've you know, read online on blogs or news stories

247
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 1: like talking about like a child like being you know,

248
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,720
Speaker 1: reprimanded for what they're wearing, and it's like something totally fine.

249
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,520
Speaker 1: One thing I got was that I needed to wear

250
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,560
Speaker 1: a more supportive bra because my boobs were jiggling during

251
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,760
Speaker 1: gym class. So I wore two sports bras too. I

252
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,000
Speaker 1: don't think we ever talked about that. And honestly, at

253
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,160
Speaker 1: this point, like my boobs were not as big as

254
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,040
Speaker 1: they are now, So it was just like really fucking

255
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:34,720
Speaker 1: weird to like just micromanager girl's body like that. Yeah,

256
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,880
Speaker 1: I mean that was like during those soffies phase two

257
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,760
Speaker 1: and those always kind of made me uncomfortable as well.

258
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,320
Speaker 1: So I would have like two sports bras on like

259
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,000
Speaker 1: boys gym shorts, and I'd just be like, this is fine,

260
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,800
Speaker 1: I'm good now, nobody will see my body, no one

261
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 1: will know. It's so true, and I feel like, so

262
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to read some comments from this article that

263
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:58,960
Speaker 1: I was reading, and this is crazy because these are

264
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,319
Speaker 1: all strangers on you know, in an internet forum, so

265
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,040
Speaker 1: keep that in mind. But these are all things that

266
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:10,840
Speaker 1: I have heard from someone growing up. Okay, we've raised

267
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,720
Speaker 1: our boys to be attracted to girls with the same

268
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 1: philosophy as of right now with two teenage boys, they

269
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,720
Speaker 1: do not understand why girls feel the need to flaunt

270
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,000
Speaker 1: themselves the way they do. Not to mention, they have

271
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,520
Speaker 1: a cousin who does wear Daisy Duke shorts, skin tight

272
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,400
Speaker 1: low cut tops and throws herself at boys at the

273
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,240
Speaker 1: age of seventeen, she was pregnant. Her precious son is

274
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 1: a burden on her because she cannot party and hang out,

275
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,880
Speaker 1: does not understand why boys want to use her, and

276
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,560
Speaker 1: it stated all she wants out of life is for

277
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,080
Speaker 1: a man to hold her and to love her other

278
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: than her son. And I'm like, you're literally telling us

279
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,680
Speaker 1: seventeen year old girl who if she grew up and

280
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,640
Speaker 1: didn't have absinence, like had absence only education, she's not

281
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 1: gonna know not to like you know what I mean,

282
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:54,880
Speaker 1: It's it's just insane. And like the attitude towards that girls,

283
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,000
Speaker 1: like literally saying that it's her fault. I mean, God,

284
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 1: don't even get me in, Like, don't even we get

285
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 1: into it. It's just crazy. And then like another one

286
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,880
Speaker 1: is what bothers me is that women, even Christian women,

287
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 1: think it's perfectly acceptable to show my husband and teenage

288
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,320
Speaker 1: son their breasts. News flash, if I can see your cleavage,

289
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 1: I can see your breasts. I get angry thinking about it.

290
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,840
Speaker 1: My husband and teenage sons are battling sexual temptation every day.

291
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,080
Speaker 1: I'm very frustrated at the women and teen girls and

292
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,840
Speaker 1: our conservative homeschool group who think it's acceptable to show

293
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,520
Speaker 1: their thighs in a miniskirt in their chest. I'm sorry,

294
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,560
Speaker 1: Like that's your husband. I have never seen my boyfriend

295
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,480
Speaker 1: check out another girl. Talk to your son and your husband,

296
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,080
Speaker 1: but talk to your son. I think also, like the

297
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:41,160
Speaker 1: sexual repression can't help you know, like that that probably

298
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 1: makes it worse. But like I swear to god, I've

299
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,960
Speaker 1: never once seen my boyfriend check so what is her?

300
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,840
Speaker 1: Her husband's doing something wrong there? And I would think

301
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 1: in what I've seen and you know, read with people

302
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,720
Speaker 1: who are abstinent and all that kind of stuff, they're

303
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,120
Speaker 1: all we is talking about sex. They're always talking about bodies.

304
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 1: They're being hyper vigilant of like a woman's cleavage or

305
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,760
Speaker 1: something like well they think you when I'm talking about

306
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 1: when you should just be able to be Yeah, like

307
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,280
Speaker 1: that feels like more of a sex obsession than just

308
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,920
Speaker 1: like being sexually active. Yeah, if you just kind of say, oh,

309
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 1: that's normal, she dresses the way she wants to be dressed.

310
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,040
Speaker 1: It's her body, she has a right to do that,

311
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 1: then it kind of races some stigma there and you

312
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 1: can stop obsessing over it and taking everything personally like that. Yeah,

313
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 1: I it's just so weird, and you sent me a

314
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 1: video on TikTok, but it was the point of the

315
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 1: video was like, Okay, lust is a cardinal sin, but

316
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 1: showing your cleavage is not. But why is it women's

317
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 1: responsibility to make sure these men don't sin when it's

318
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:53,160
Speaker 1: on them? And there's that verse in the Bible that

319
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,520
Speaker 1: says lust is like to look at a woman and

320
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,920
Speaker 1: and think about sleeping with her, You've already cheated on

321
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 1: your wife. Yeah, so, I mean, and obviously we're talking

322
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,439
Speaker 1: about this in relation to Christianity just because that's my

323
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 1: personal experience, Like that's where this attitude came from. But

324
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,160
Speaker 1: I know plenty of people who have had the same

325
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,199
Speaker 1: thing happened in the body shaming and the um you know,

326
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,000
Speaker 1: the pressure put on them who aren't part of the church.

327
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,879
Speaker 1: I'm just referring to this because it's it's my experience,

328
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,840
Speaker 1: and I've met plenty of Christians who aren't crazy like

329
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:30,399
Speaker 1: this either. Um So, another part of high school trauma

330
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:35,440
Speaker 1: club is your first experiences with boys. And they're not

331
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 1: always boyfriends. It's just being around boys in school and

332
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: and the you know, just putting a bunch of kids

333
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,960
Speaker 1: in a giant like you know, you're basically just putting

334
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 1: a bunch of kids in a pot, stirting it around

335
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,119
Speaker 1: and seeing what happens is a social experiment. High school

336
00:17:52,200 --> 00:18:09,560
Speaker 1: is um. I remember when I was in high school,

337
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 1: actually in middle school too. I just and it occurred

338
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,879
Speaker 1: to me maybe a few months ago. Whenever I was

339
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,119
Speaker 1: walking down the hallway, I was always like brushed up

340
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 1: against and I just remember like sometimes I could just

341
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,000
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, a touch on you know, my

342
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,200
Speaker 1: body somewhere, mostly my breast, and I'm just like, gosh,

343
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 1: I need to work on my space management. Because I

344
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,640
Speaker 1: really thought it was just me because when you are

345
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 1: just kind of like when their guy acquaintances, you don't

346
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 1: really I'm more cautious of a guy who's interested in

347
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,679
Speaker 1: me and aware of what they're doing or touching me

348
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,720
Speaker 1: than just some random kid I've never talked to. I

349
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 1: felt like a big thing was like there would be

350
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 1: those guys who'd be like, oh, give me a hug,

351
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 1: and like I felt for that I'm so gullible. Yeah,

352
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, don't you want to give me

353
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 1: a hug? And it would be like this friend thing,

354
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 1: and I just was like, no, I don't. But then

355
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 1: you're like a bitch if you say no, But like

356
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to touch anybody. I don't

357
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 1: want to touch you know. See. I remember specifically this

358
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 1: one thing because I was just like, Ariana, you are

359
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,200
Speaker 1: so fucking gullible. It was like, bet, you can't hear it,

360
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:19,920
Speaker 1: can't hug me as hard as someone so glired. God

361
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:24,919
Speaker 1: for smart people, we are really fucking stupid, are I

362
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 1: was probably like fourteen fourteen maybe, and I was just like, bet,

363
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 1: so you're gonna call a petition? So manipulative it was.

364
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 1: It was and my scariest experiences with that, I think,

365
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 1: like looking back, like at the time, you just sort

366
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,159
Speaker 1: of brush it off, But now that I think about it,

367
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, that was really fucked. Is. I was in

368
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 1: um home at class and we were watching a movie.

369
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 1: I think it was Nightmare at the Museum and it

370
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 1: was like one of the last days of school and

371
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 1: I was sitting next to this guy that I've been

372
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,639
Speaker 1: friends with and I thought we were like buddies. Like

373
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,639
Speaker 1: I just like I hadn't. I don't know. I was

374
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 1: never like I'm not like the kind of girl hangs

375
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: out with guys. Because the West drama but in middle

376
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,439
Speaker 1: school I had a lot of guy friends because I

377
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,680
Speaker 1: was like in a band and you know, I wanted

378
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,479
Speaker 1: to talk about rock music all the time. And he

379
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 1: was sitting next to me and we're watching this movie

380
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: together and I felt his hand on my knee and

381
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 1: I was like, oh what, And I thought it was

382
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,719
Speaker 1: like an accident. I was trying to get my attention.

383
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,560
Speaker 1: I looked over and he just smiled at me, and

384
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 1: then he literally like, I'm just standing there and no

385
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 1: one can see what's going on, and he like I

386
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 1: was like dragging his hand up my leg and started

387
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 1: like rubbing like my thigh, and I did not know

388
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 1: what to do. And I was just like, because you're

389
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 1: you're just not aggressive at that age and you don't

390
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 1: know how to defend yourself. That totally just brought up

391
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 1: a memory in my head that is so traumatizing. I

392
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: ended up just being like, Hey, can you please not

393
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,159
Speaker 1: do that? And then he got really mad at me

394
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 1: and thought that like I. He was like, He's like,

395
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 1: you're so mean to me. Oh my god, Yeah, fragile malely,

396
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 1: what happened to you? Um? I was at Hershey Park

397
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: with my family and UM we went to like this

398
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: chocolate world thing, and there was like a three D

399
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: show and I was sitting next to a guy, like

400
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,479
Speaker 1: an older guy, and I think he was like with

401
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 1: his wife or something. Oh my god, how old are you?

402
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 1: I was, um, sixteen, Jesus, and I already don't like

403
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: where this is going. It was summer, I was wearing shorts.

404
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 1: He put his hand on my thigh and I had

405
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: no idea what to do. Where did he get the

406
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: fucking gold to do that thing was? I crossed my

407
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: legs and tried to get away from him, and he

408
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 1: creeped up. Yeah, that's horrifying, some random young girl at

409
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: Hershey Park. And I think that he had to know

410
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 1: that that you would be too afraid to yell like

411
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 1: and you know, you could talk about fight or flight

412
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 1: when it comes to adrenaline reactions like that, but there's

413
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 1: also free ease. And you know when a lot of

414
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: you hear a lot like, oh, why don't you just

415
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: say no? Or why don't you just tell them to

416
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,679
Speaker 1: funk off? And it's like in that moment, you're just like,

417
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: there's no way this is happening. There's no way that

418
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: somebody would actually do that. This is so unbelievable. And

419
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 1: it was also like, I'm sitting next to this guy.

420
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 1: My mom's on the other side of me. She had

421
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,239
Speaker 1: no idea what was going on. I'm like, we're in

422
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: a crowded theater. What am I gonna do? Yell and

423
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,439
Speaker 1: make a scene. Yeah, And it was just awful. I

424
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 1: told them immediately when we got out, but it was

425
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 1: just so weird, like no one knew what to do.

426
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: God his poor wife. That's insane. Yeah, that ship sticks

427
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 1: with you. And you know, I high school so hard

428
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: because you just have all these kids going through puberty

429
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 1: and you know, like legitimately, sometimes you know, when a

430
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 1: voice says something to you, they don't really know any better.

431
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: And I I hope no one misconstrues what I'm saying there,

432
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: because I'm just saying, like, you know, there's just like

433
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,679
Speaker 1: you're making out with a boy and he's trying to

434
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: touch your bob and you're like you have to be

435
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 1: like HOMEI stop. You know, there's that, and then there's

436
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 1: a grown ass man touching your leg or like I

437
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 1: don't know, a guy getting mad because you said you

438
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 1: couldn't he couldn't massage your thigh during home egg. I mean, God,

439
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: Nightmare at the Museum. Is that what it's called. I was,

440
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say anything with you, but I'm

441
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,719
Speaker 1: pretty sure it's night at Night at the Musnight at

442
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,479
Speaker 1: the Museum. Okay, Well, and I was like, not the museum.

443
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: I was like, you know why, I thought it was

444
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:40,239
Speaker 1: a fun movie. For me, it was Nightmare at the Museum.

445
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: Oh no, God, I actually really enjoyed those movies. I'm

446
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: so sad that there's trauma. Social media was so hard

447
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: to because we were like the first generation to deal

448
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: with that. Oh definitely, like and and just the like

449
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 1: being able to hide behind a screen, Like there was

450
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 1: this thing called form Spring and it was a lot

451
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 1: like the Tumbler question box where you could like type

452
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: in a thing, but it was anonymous, and like that's

453
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 1: terrifying for teenagers to have. And I don't know if

454
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 1: there's an equivalent now. At that time too, we also

455
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: were just like we can say anything on the Internet

456
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: and then they're like, no, we're gonna make it super anonymous.

457
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 1: That's just like totally and like I remember, um there

458
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: was also those like like for a truth is things

459
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 1: that would happen, and I remember my ex boyfriend This

460
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: was sophomore year and I like ninth grade ex boyfriend

461
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 1: or something posted one that was like like for my

462
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: favorite and least favorite thing about you, And I liked

463
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 1: it A hundred and fifty people like that because everybody

464
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: to know you know you you care so much what

465
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,520
Speaker 1: people think about your Like, please tell me once you

466
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 1: like have an opportunity to get like a little bit

467
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: of truth. Yeah, just like honestly sometimes just like hearing

468
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,399
Speaker 1: what people don't like about me, that's something I really

469
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 1: want to know. Yeah, I'm the same way. And so

470
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: that was like I was like, I care about his

471
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: opinion to me. So we he ended up posting and

472
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 1: it was public. It was on my Facebook wall. He

473
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: posted on it. Yeah, so it would be like you

474
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,959
Speaker 1: would like that and then they write it on your

475
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: wall and he said something like his favorite thing about

476
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: me was my taste in music and his least favorite

477
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: thing about me was my chompers and my down syndrome eyes.

478
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, fuck, isn't that insane? That didn't seem

479
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 1: like something he pulled out of a hat. How long

480
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: were you sitting on that? And like, I am fully

481
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: aware of how disrespectful and politically incorrect, that is, but

482
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,239
Speaker 1: I'm just quoting somebody. It was just so fucked and like,

483
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: were you okay after that? I mean, it probably wasn't

484
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: the meanst thing he said to me, But I remember

485
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: like being so embarrassed in my my teeth, and like,

486
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: I grew up really poor and we couldn't afford braces

487
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 1: and they've kind of adjusted as I've gotten older. Actually,

488
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: had they say that your teeth change every like six months,

489
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: they shift. I had someone in the industry to be like, like,

490
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,040
Speaker 1: because I I also do like acting and stuff, and

491
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: they were like, never get your teeth fixed. It gives

492
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 1: you character. And I was like, um, I know that's

493
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: a compliment, so I'm just going to choose to to

494
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: see it like that. But I was so insecure about

495
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: my teeth for so long, and like, um, I remember

496
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: another girl said that they looked like popcorn kernels how

497
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: because they like I guess they're like they weren't they

498
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 1: were yellow or something. I don't know. It was so awful,

499
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: and they would say this in front of people and

500
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 1: like and I and in those settings you kind of

501
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: just have to sit there and laugh. Oh yeah, I mean,

502
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: go ahead. How many times have you been roasted and

503
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: you just have to like pretend you're in on the joke.

504
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 1: And like, I also like I don't want to play

505
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 1: the victim with this stuff because I know I've probably

506
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 1: said me and things to people that I would love

507
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: to take back as an adult, and I don't hold

508
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: it against anybody because like, you don't get I mean,

509
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 1: I was eleven years away from a prefrontal cortex. Oh yeah,

510
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 1: Like I had a long ways to go before my

511
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 1: decision making was even kind of up to par with

512
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: you know, was this in middle school or high school? Okay,

513
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 1: because I was thinking, um, last year, I went to

514
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: my cousins like Christmas uh concert, and she's in middle school.

515
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: And it is so weird because they're also pretty now no, no,

516
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:35,040
Speaker 1: the girls, Like girls develop so much faster, and then

517
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: you have like all these little boys. That's what I

518
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,119
Speaker 1: love about that TV show Pen fifteen because it's actually

519
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,639
Speaker 1: two adult women. But then that's actually what it felt

520
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: like was that you'd have like these adults that were

521
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 1: all the girls, and then the boys like literally looked

522
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,959
Speaker 1: like yeah, I mean, And it's so funny because I

523
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: just think back of like I looked older than I

524
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 1: was in middle school, and like all these boys looked like,

525
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: you know, their age, and I was just and to

526
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: imagine them bullying me and me being like, how cool

527
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 1: do you? I'm fragile. You definitely you definitely did look

528
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 1: older than your age. Oh I did. I looked like

529
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 1: like I was five four and had you know, d

530
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: cut boos and I was pretending in middle school. Okay,

531
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 1: this was middle school and well I mean it happened

532
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: an elementary school too. Yeah, I think I haven't grown

533
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 1: since fifth grade. Well yeah, I know. I thought I

534
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: was all out of the way. I thought I was

535
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 1: going to be a basketball star. But I looked like

536
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: an undercover cop. Like I looked like a thirty year

537
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,840
Speaker 1: old woman, Like I look like a cop that hey, kids,

538
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: you gotta she I looked like I did something I

539
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: was supposed to be, like twenty one Jump Street, but

540
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 1: like fucked up somewhere and going to elementary school, dining

541
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:57,320
Speaker 1: Devil's grass would scoop and doobi. Oh god, it was

542
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: so bad. Oh my god. Yeah, And just like anything

543
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 1: that makes you stand out is like kids will find

544
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 1: one thing and like, truthfully, like the meanest thing someone

545
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 1: could say about me was my teeth. I also got

546
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: because I had like really red hair, and so I

547
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 1: got made fun of for that. Like there are these

548
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 1: girls freshman year who called me period head, and then

549
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: everyone started calling me period head and I remember the

550
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: brown hair their ship head. Yeah, I mean honestly, like

551
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: you wanted to play that game? What an opportunity missed? Well?

552
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 1: I tried, but you know, like I was just like

553
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: you, you you guys are ship heads and everyone was too busy.

554
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: Who whatever? Period because I remember when I met you

555
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: in seventh grade that was kind of when South Park

556
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,160
Speaker 1: started doing like the ginger thing. Oh yeah, the gingers

557
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: have no soul ship that that was a oh my gosh.

558
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: And I remember saying something like that to you. Sorry

559
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: about that, I mean I got used to it, yeah,

560
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: And I mean, yeah, me too. Um and you told

561
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: me that you thought it was a compliment. My mom

562
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: My mom told me that someone called me ginger. It

563
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: was because it was like cute because of ginger in Thailand,

564
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: And oh mom, you tried, and I tried so hard.

565
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,479
Speaker 1: I just had to be like sweet child. No, I

566
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 1: had to break back and I was like, oh, that's

567
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 1: like a mean thing. Oh okay, Well, I shouldn't have

568
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: said anything, but I also didn't want you to go

569
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: through life being like thank you. I feel like the

570
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: high school trauma that's always addressed in movies and books

571
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: and everything is like their parents got divorced, and I'm

572
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: like that the fact that my parents were together was

573
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: literally the least of my concerns when it comes to

574
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: high school trauma. Like I was like, yeah, for sure, whatever,

575
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 1: I don't like each other, why would they be married. No,

576
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: I did have trauma because my freshman year of high school,

577
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: my mom and my dad went on a date. Oh

578
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: my god, and my parents trap. My mom told me,

579
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: and all I could do was just smile, so like,

580
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: I was so uncomfortable. I couldn't do anything but smile.

581
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: And she's like you're so happy and you're like no,

582
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm uncomfortable. I didn't even know that

583
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 1: they knew each other for like a few years. They're like,

584
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 1: oh my god, how youel me? I know, It's just

585
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: like I just get dropped off at his house. It's

586
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 1: so funny. Okay. I feel like my parents are going

587
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: to hate me for saying this, but like, what are

588
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 1: they going to do? It? Just own me? No. Um, So,

589
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 1: like pretty recently, we went through some pretty intense family

590
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: stuff and my mom and dad were together for the

591
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: first time. This was like a couple of years back,

592
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: and I we're all up in um in Bangor where

593
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 1: my dad lives, Bangor Main Bang Main, Banger, Banger Main

594
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 1: when I know that, So why I write bangers Because

595
00:31:54,320 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: I'm from Banger, get it, That's why. Okay, cool, yeah, um, okay,

596
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: just pretend that didn't happen. Uh, we'll leave it in

597
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: just so you guys have a reason to laugh, because

598
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: this has been kind of a heavy episode. But anyways,

599
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: so my parents they're like together for the first time

600
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: and you know, going through some really tough ship together,

601
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: and everybody was brought a little closer. And my best

602
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: friend Candy Carpenter was up there with me as well,

603
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: and she was bringing my mom back to her hotel

604
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: and I was with my dad at the house and

605
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: in the car, my mom tells Candy, she's like, you know,

606
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: he's almost like the man I fell in love with.

607
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 1: I just forgot about how caring he can be when

608
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 1: he wants to. And my dad was talking to me

609
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: and he's like, you know, I just feel like no

610
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: one's ever really understood me the way your mom does.

611
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 1: And then Candy and I reconvene at the end of this,

612
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, no, no, no, no no no.

613
00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm dealing with too much. I don't

614
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 1: have time for a parent trap right now. I don't

615
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: have time for it. Truly, I do not know why

616
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: that movie was such a hit. I would never like, yeah,

617
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: no verdure. But well, I mean, wouldn't you want Dennis

618
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: Quaid to your dad? Yeah, definitely, but Dennis Quaid family.

619
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 1: I Oh gosh, I was so uncomfortable by that. I

620
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: was just like, I didn't realize that you guys ever

621
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: had a romantic relationship. Yeah, I'm very confused by it. Literally,

622
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: I've never seen my parents kiss, so if I had

623
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: had to, I think I would have just like ran screaming.

624
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,719
Speaker 1: Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I

625
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: can recall any kind of physical interaction between the two. No,

626
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 1: it was, yeah, I mean the fact that they went

627
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: on a date, and like, she just like blindsided me

628
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: with that. So it's school. Our high school trauma is

629
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 1: not our parents not being together. It's the aspect that

630
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: they may have decided to get back. Oh gosh, Oh

631
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: it was so awful and it stuck with me all day.

632
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh he dropped me off that

633
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: the whole year, like I'm still carrying this around. I'm

634
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 1: just like, wow, what if gosh that gives you the

635
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: heavy geebs. Thenk you guys so much for listening to

636
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: this week's episode. I'm still so blown away. We are

637
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: at over thirty thou listens for this podcast, which is

638
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: really really exciting, So thank you guys for supporting it,

639
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 1: and thank you for listening to me talk about my problems.

640
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: And if you have any ideas for episodes or things

641
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: that you want to see friends of mine you want

642
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 1: to see on the show special guests, please be sure

643
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: to let me know. All my social media is in

644
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: the description for the podcast. And thank you guys so

645
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: much for listening to Too much to say, I'm Kaylie Shure.

646
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: See you next week asking question so turn it out

647
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 1: of you