Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sororiti Life with
Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2: Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. I'm Daisy
Speaker 1: Kent and today I'm here and joined by Trista Setter
Speaker 1: and Megan King.
Speaker 3: Thank you guys for joining me today.
Speaker 2: Thanks for having us.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So today we're going to be breaking down all of
Speaker 1: the abundant and sometimes controversial advice about rush circulating on
Speaker 1: the Internet, and we're really going to debunk the advice
Speaker 1: that is BS versus Bible and tell you what you
Speaker 1: really need to know to have a successful rush. So
Speaker 1: to start off, where did you both go to school?
Speaker 4: I was Ole Miss Hattie Toddy.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Fun. One of my best friends from Vegas.
Speaker 3: She went to Old Miss.
Speaker 5: It's It's a It was the cultural shock for me,
Speaker 5: but it was every bit of college I could have
Speaker 5: ever wanted.
Speaker 3: And then some yeah, and then where did you go? Trista?
Speaker 2: I went to Indiana go Hoosiers. Oh I did know that,
Speaker 2: yes with not with Ben, but Ben also went their
Speaker 2: way after me. And I was in Alpha Kai.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh cool. And what you know you were
Speaker 3: in Alphakai and Megan, did you say what you were in?
Speaker 4: No, I was a Kappa Kappa gamma.
Speaker 3: Okay, cool.
Speaker 2: What's the phrase that goes? Was it in a movie
Speaker 2: or something like Kappa gappa gamma? Can I or is it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's like there's a several There's like I'm so
Speaker 5: happy that I am a Kappa kapa kapa gamma.
Speaker 4: And there was some bad ones.
Speaker 5: That we don't need to say, but that was the
Speaker 5: I think that's is that one you're talking about.
Speaker 2: Something like that, like kapacamba gammack? Can I help you?
Speaker 3: Help you help y'all?
Speaker 2: Or I can't remember what it was, but every time
Speaker 2: I hear someone say cappa gamma, it's like on the
Speaker 2: tip of my tongue, like remembering something for some day
Speaker 2: but I can't place it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is so funny, all like the different sayings
Speaker 1: that like different sororities have. Yes, totally, it's so funny.
Speaker 1: And then Trista, your daughter Blakesley, is she planning on
Speaker 1: going through recruitment?
Speaker 2: I don't actually know. It will depend on where she goes,
Speaker 2: but at this point she's thinking of California and SDSU
Speaker 2: is right up there, which I would love for her
Speaker 2: to follow in your footstep.
Speaker 3: I loved Stsu I mean.
Speaker 2: Right, and then USD is probably her top and I
Speaker 2: just I think it'll just depend on the school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Thor's sister also went to USD. So if Thor
Speaker 1: my fiance.
Speaker 3: Is, oh yeah, and.
Speaker 1: She's only a year older than us Or, then she's
Speaker 1: only a year older than me and Thor so if
Speaker 1: she wants to talk to her too, she's so nice.
Speaker 3: Someone totally talked to her. Also, thank you.
Speaker 2: I will let her know. Of course she'd be all
Speaker 2: about talking to Daisy, but she loves me so much, so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's so sweet.
Speaker 1: And then Megan, I saw that is it true that
Speaker 1: you dropped out of your sorority?
Speaker 4: Yes, and I did not want to.
Speaker 5: I mean, like you were saying, trista kind of depends
Speaker 5: on the school, like whether or not you rushed and
Speaker 5: has a huge creek life, and it's a big part
Speaker 5: of I wanted it to be a big part of
Speaker 5: my experience at all miss and so that was definitely
Speaker 5: a school I wanted to rush if I want to,
Speaker 5: and it did. So anyways, I become a Kapa Kapa gamma.
Speaker 5: I'm i go to I went to an all girl
Speaker 5: high school. By the way, Trista, you grew up in
Speaker 5: Saint Louis. I grew up in Saint Louis.
Speaker 2: Stop where.
Speaker 5: I grew up in Crestwood, and I went to Narings
Speaker 5: Hall for high school.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, how I know it's a thing in
Speaker 2: Saint Louis that anytime you like meet someone who is
Speaker 2: from Saint Louis, you have to ask where they went
Speaker 2: to high school.
Speaker 4: Like it's a thing, really definitely a thing. But it's
Speaker 4: also relevant to the story.
Speaker 5: And I'll tell you why, because I went Scenarios Hall,
Speaker 5: which is an all girl Catholic high school.
Speaker 4: Again, like a very normal thing in Saint Louis.
Speaker 5: So for me going in my freshman year, it was
Speaker 5: normal for us to like bring girls to dances like
Speaker 5: from other schools or whatever, or like go to other
Speaker 5: girls school dances with them, and so same thing. I
Speaker 5: just like applied that same thing to a sorority and
Speaker 5: I went to a dance with my girlfriend and the
Speaker 5: president was like, you cannot go to this dance you
Speaker 5: were a woman, or insurance doesn't cover women.
Speaker 4: I'm like, that's literally not how insurance works. I mean.
Speaker 5: And she's like, you can this is private property. You
Speaker 5: need to leave right now unless you tell me you're
Speaker 5: not a lesbian.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh so, I'm like, that's not your business.
Speaker 4: I'm not telling you that. I was so upset. They
Speaker 4: were like this book to call on the police. So
Speaker 4: I left. I went home back to my dorm crying.
Speaker 5: A couple of days past, I have to go to
Speaker 5: standards at Kapa kat Gamma and that's the basically the
Speaker 5: p Boll's office, and they said to me, I need
Speaker 5: to write an apology note to the present president of
Speaker 5: that sorty and I was like, okay, I can say
Speaker 5: like I'm.
Speaker 4: Sorry for offending her, I guess, but like I'm not
Speaker 4: sorry for what I did.
Speaker 5: And the follow so I did that, and then the
Speaker 5: following chapter meeting we had, KAPA made an announcement that
Speaker 5: we were not allowed to bring any girls to dances
Speaker 5: ever under any circumstances. And I'm like, how do I
Speaker 5: stand with an organization that like, I'm morally opposed to
Speaker 5: their viewpoint.
Speaker 4: I can't do that.
Speaker 5: I was so upset. I wasn't trying to make a point.
Speaker 5: All I had to do was say I'm not a Lesbigan.
Speaker 5: But that's not advocating for anybody or helping anything now.
Speaker 4: So I so I resigned.
Speaker 3: Good for you.
Speaker 1: That is crazy because I even think about, like when
Speaker 1: I went to Stsu, like if like girls didn't want
Speaker 1: to bring like a guy from like like a frat
Speaker 1: or something like, and like a couple of times I
Speaker 1: brought like my girlfriends. I was in Alphae and like
Speaker 1: two of like my really close friends were in pi FI,
Speaker 1: and so I would like bring one of them to
Speaker 1: like our date dash or something like that.
Speaker 4: It was pie Fi by the way, it's the story.
Speaker 1: Oh oh my gosh, that's Cruze. So it was that
Speaker 1: president that Yeah.
Speaker 2: So pi Fi's president was the one who got mad
Speaker 2: at you.
Speaker 4: Correct, got it okay? So not Kapa ka Pagamma.
Speaker 5: But they still made me write an apology note and
Speaker 5: then they changed the rules.
Speaker 4: And this is ole Miss two thousand and three.
Speaker 2: That's what I was going to ask.
Speaker 4: What year two thousand and three as a freshman, ole
Speaker 4: Miss was the lud public university to be integrated. In
Speaker 4: nineteen sixty four, there was they had to bring in
Speaker 4: the National Guard. Billy joelsings about it in his song
Speaker 4: we Didn't start the fire.
Speaker 5: Like ole miss is historically a really conservative school set
Speaker 5: in their ways, and so like the fact that it
Speaker 5: happened didn't surprise me. I just never anticipated that that
Speaker 5: would be a thing. But hopefully things have.
Speaker 3: Shown for sure.
Speaker 1: It's also like your friend in Pi Fi invited you exactly.
Speaker 4: Exactly what the heck a high school too in Florida.
Speaker 1: I was not expecting that. I actually dropped my senior
Speaker 1: year because they were, well, it was like during COVID.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm not going to pay like
Speaker 1: right two grand or whatever it is, and we're not
Speaker 1: going to have any events or anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, So I lived in the house
Speaker 1: the beginning of junior year and then I moved out
Speaker 1: the second half of junior year because I went abroad,
Speaker 1: and so I got a girl to fill in my
Speaker 1: like lease or whatever, like my spot house. I got
Speaker 1: her to fill it in, and then but the house
Speaker 1: like didn't have enough money and like not all the
Speaker 1: spots were being filled up because like COVID had started,
Speaker 1: and so they were trying to make me pay my
Speaker 1: like live in fee still oh god, And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm like not paying a living few when I got
Speaker 1: a girl to cover my spot just because like girls
Speaker 1: didn't get theirs covered, and like because COVID things happening,
Speaker 1: but it was crazy and then sounds like COVID Yeah,
Speaker 1: no kidding, but they weren't gonna let me like not
Speaker 1: pay it. And so then like the end of my
Speaker 1: junior year, I was like, okay, whatever. And then honestly,
Speaker 1: like senior year, no one had like date dashes or
Speaker 1: like we didn't do anything, and because like we couldn't,
Speaker 1: we just all hung out with our friends still and whatever.
Speaker 1: So the only thing I didn't get to do is
Speaker 1: wear the like alpay sash.
Speaker 4: But you can borrow one, I'm sure from somebody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Just photoshop it into your picture.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's what I asked for, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But COVID was just like a weird time, very
Speaker 1: everyone extremely Yes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the whole like thing about the sororities. It's interesting
Speaker 4: that you brought that up because when I think about sororities,
Speaker 4: I think about them and my experience as a social thing.
Speaker 5: Like I just wanted to go to ale miss overpay
Speaker 5: to buy some friend group and like go to some fun.
Speaker 4: Parties, like I was.
Speaker 5: I hate to admit this, but I'm going to because
Speaker 5: I don't think it's that weird. I had zero interest
Speaker 5: in philanthropy at all, like at all.
Speaker 2: I think that's most people.
Speaker 3: Probably most people do it for like the party is social.
Speaker 2: You meet your friends that way, Like I am still
Speaker 2: friends with my with my sorority sisters to this day.
Speaker 2: We were literally texting each other this morning because someone
Speaker 2: one of them has lost their mom and we sent
Speaker 2: her a gift, and you know, it's it is. That
Speaker 2: is what it is about. At least it was for
Speaker 2: me too. In Indiana is a massive Greek system to
Speaker 2: the point where almost everyone lives in the house, like
Speaker 2: they're huge houses. I'm sure it's same metal miss, but
Speaker 2: but yeah, it is. It's that's the reason. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's the priority reason I think for most people is
Speaker 2: just a really easy way to meet your people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, community, like make the huge experience a little bit
Speaker 4: smaller community with like minded individuals. For sure, that's the hope,
Speaker 4: at least until they tell you can't bring girls to it.
Speaker 6: Oh right, yeah, yeah that's crazy.
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're gonna jump into some question.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like things that like Instagram pages
Speaker 1: or like rush like coaches have said and we're gonna
Speaker 1: say if it's true or not, and or like our
Speaker 1: opinion on it.
Speaker 3: So Rushworthy says.
Speaker 1: In quotes, do you make steady eye contact, don't look
Speaker 1: around the room or over the shoulder constantly?
Speaker 3: Is this BS or Bible?
Speaker 2: I would say for sure that it's a really good
Speaker 2: piece of advice because when you're rushing, you're trying to
Speaker 2: connect with the people in the sorority. And I feel
Speaker 2: like it's just that that piece of advice, like making
Speaker 2: steady eye contact and not looking around the room is
Speaker 2: just a level of respect, Like you're you know, you're
Speaker 2: showing this person that you're having a conversation with them,
Speaker 2: that you respect them and you're not hoping to be
Speaker 2: somewhere else. And I feel like whenever I'd in a
Speaker 2: conversation with someone and they are not looking in my
Speaker 2: eye or not constantly, like you don't have to be like,
Speaker 2: you know, let's have a staring contest. Yeah, first one
Speaker 2: to blink, but not looking around the room, because that
Speaker 2: just signals to someone that you don't feel like they're
Speaker 2: worthy of your time and you want to be somewhere else.
Speaker 2: So I feel like one hundred percent Bible, like this
Speaker 2: is great advice. Yeah, just to show a level of respect.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: I feel like even in like like going forward in
Speaker 1: all life things. I honestly think through recruitment is like
Speaker 1: a really good thing for you to like learn how
Speaker 1: to talk to random people.
Speaker 4: It's a it's a job interview.
Speaker 5: I mean it's it's like it's yeah, that's life skill
Speaker 5: advice right there. Like make eye contact, be respectful, show interest,
Speaker 5: be curious, be joyful, don't be judgmental, Like I mean
Speaker 5: you can do that with your eyeballs.
Speaker 4: All of those things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was so funny.
Speaker 1: I like think about like all my friends when I
Speaker 1: got back from the bachelorally like a few years ago,
Speaker 1: they were like, what was it like, And I'm like, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was kind of like I was going through sorority recruitment.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I bet.
Speaker 2: That's so funny. I totally see that.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, gosh. Now I feel so stressed out
Speaker 4: for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you have to put your best foot forward.
Speaker 2: You have to, you know, feel like you're interested and
Speaker 2: involved and show respect and be fun and be yourself yeah, so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we'll go into the next one. So recruitment
Speaker 1: ready says, do not tell other friends, ladies, moms, boyfriends, etc.
Speaker 1: What sorority you want before you have even gone through recruitment.
Speaker 1: Do not even share your top three favorites. Is this
Speaker 1: BS or Bible?
Speaker 5: I think on the surface, it's it's good advice, like
Speaker 5: how you should operate and carry yourself because you want
Speaker 5: to remain open minded. Yeah, but like if you're if
Speaker 5: you're politicking for yourself, the smart thing to do is
Speaker 5: like drop little hints, plant little seeds and like see
Speaker 5: what may grow.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I feel like you can definitely talk to like
Speaker 1: your mom about it. Is she gonna call it savage
Speaker 1: sorority at the school. I'm sure there's some like crazy
Speaker 1: moms out there that.
Speaker 2: Though probably true.
Speaker 3: So if your mom's not crazy, then you can.
Speaker 2: Exactly or your best friend who's not even going to
Speaker 2: the school, Like, I mean, the chances that there's going
Speaker 2: to be a connection there is pretty slim. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: I think if they're trusted people, then then why not
Speaker 2: and just say, you know, I'm just telling you this,
Speaker 2: you know, get.
Speaker 3: Yes or whatever.
Speaker 2: But is that really a thing like Obviously I haven't
Speaker 2: rushed into a very long time, so I don't know,
Speaker 2: And it's so much has changed with social media and
Speaker 2: all of that. But is that a thing like you're
Speaker 2: not supposed to talk about where you want to to pledge.
Speaker 1: I don't think like to like not definitely, not to
Speaker 1: the sororities. But I remember like my roommate because she
Speaker 1: her brother went to SCSU, and I had like no
Speaker 1: idea what like sorority was or anything, and like she
Speaker 1: just kept telling me. She was like, you want to
Speaker 1: be an Alphie, pi Fi or Akio. Then I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: Like I'm sure like dependent on like what school you're at,
Speaker 1: but I also feel like they're all like being open minded.
Speaker 1: Like what you were saying, Megan is like so important
Speaker 1: when you're going into it because you never know and
Speaker 1: you don't want to be with like a bunch of
Speaker 1: girls you don't mesh with well.
Speaker 5: And I think like your experience is going to be
Speaker 5: different based on like your relationship with the school or
Speaker 5: like any legacies that may have been in the aurorities.
Speaker 5: So like if you're like me and you're coming in
Speaker 5: as like from an outside state, not Mississippi, I don't
Speaker 5: have like a big like Greek connections or anything.
Speaker 4: I really had to work work it, and I had
Speaker 4: to really sell myself.
Speaker 5: But yeah, my best friend, on the other hand, she's
Speaker 5: like legacy for every single sorority you can ever think of,
Speaker 5: and she's Mississippi through and through, and like everybody's recruiting her.
Speaker 5: And I think that like what she had to worry
Speaker 5: about a little bit was getting like too like deluding herself,
Speaker 5: over deluding herself, like by acting super interested in all
Speaker 5: these sorties that she's actually not interested in. I think
Speaker 5: she had the privilege to be able to like narrow
Speaker 5: it down a little bit earlier.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh for sure, I feel like it too. It
Speaker 1: can like it definitely differs, Like what school you go to?
Speaker 3: Was al mioss in Indiana?
Speaker 1: Was it like did you need like letters or recommendation
Speaker 1: and stuff like that?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean it's like I think they're very similar, both
Speaker 2: of the schools and that and the size and the
Speaker 2: size of the Greek life at school. But I feel
Speaker 2: like letters of recommendation are a good thing for anybody,
Speaker 2: you know, like whether you're at a small school or
Speaker 2: a large school. I would say like if someone is
Speaker 2: in that was in that sorority and is recommending you
Speaker 2: be in that sorority. I mean, who knows how much
Speaker 2: they pay attention to those things, but it cannot hurt.
Speaker 5: I think that they kind of do, depending on who
Speaker 5: wrote it. And then I think I have a tip
Speaker 5: I want to share for letters of recommendation, and I
Speaker 5: think this is kind of in life. That's a big
Speaker 5: ask to ask someone to write a letter of recommendation
Speaker 5: for you. And so if you're like just gathering these
Speaker 5: like from all over the place, I suggest maybe like
Speaker 5: creating a template and then allowing the person to edit
Speaker 5: it if they would like, or just sign on it.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's definitely skip.
Speaker 5: Skips a lot of steps in the process, but it
Speaker 5: makes it a lot easier on the person you're asking
Speaker 5: a huge favor from.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So for for Alpha Kai, they have actually changed
Speaker 2: it so that you don't have to write like an
Speaker 2: actual letter. You wouldn't need a template. You have to
Speaker 2: log into your account on their website, on the Alpha
Speaker 2: Kai site, and then you enter like all of this stuff,
Speaker 2: so you can I think you might be able to
Speaker 2: upload their resume, but I don't even think you can
Speaker 2: do that I think you just enter like you know
Speaker 2: all of the questions that they ask, and I've written
Speaker 2: a bunch in the past few years. Actually have three
Speaker 2: or four that I need to get done as well,
Speaker 2: one of them being from Oh Wow or ole Miss.
Speaker 2: But but I I there are some questions that aren't
Speaker 2: on the resume, like, yeah, they ask what should someone
Speaker 2: in the sorority that they're paired with ask them? Like
Speaker 2: what would be some topics of conversation that you can recommend,
Speaker 2: like things that they're interested in, or where they're from
Speaker 2: or whatever. So I always ask the people that I
Speaker 2: have to write a rec for to let me know
Speaker 2: that these questions because oftentimes, more often than not, actually
Speaker 2: I don't know the girl that well the recruit. I
Speaker 2: just know their parents. So I need to know this
Speaker 2: stuff from either the parent or the girl herself as
Speaker 2: to how I should answer. So thankfully, at least for
Speaker 2: Alpha KI, you don't have to write like a letter
Speaker 2: from scratch. My gosh, my gosh, if I had to
Speaker 2: do that, I don't know if I would say yes
Speaker 2: to as many as I do.
Speaker 3: That's a lot. Like you said, you have four that
Speaker 3: you need to do.
Speaker 2: At least four, I just got asked for one last week,
Speaker 2: so who knows if more of them will be coming. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I'm happy to do it, more than happy
Speaker 2: to do it because I feel like, you know, just
Speaker 2: the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated,
Speaker 2: and when it's Placey's time, when her time comes around,
Speaker 2: and if she wants to rush, then I want to
Speaker 2: be able to reach out to those people as well.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I've gotten ask to write a lot of
Speaker 5: recks from people like random strangers on Instagram?
Speaker 4: No Realay? Yeah, did you do it?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Oh I don't know them?
Speaker 2: Yeah right, I'm like, wait a second, I mean I
Speaker 2: have to have at least a connection to someone in there. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I haven't written a few, but I'm like, do
Speaker 5: you really want the girl who like kind of caused
Speaker 5: a ruckus to write you a wreck?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 2: Do you do?
Speaker 3: You know that I dropped it right? That's funny.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's so funny. And so that that's
Speaker 1: it you guys for this episode of Dirty Rush. Make
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