1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Unger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: This is Laura. In this episode, I'm going to be 11 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: interviewing doctor Rachna Shaw, who is a physician, mother of two, 12 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: all around very interesting person. People who have watched My 13 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: Tranquility by Tuesday in real life videos will recognize her 14 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: from the video on rule number six One Big Adventure, 15 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: One Little Adventure, and she and her family have done 16 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: an amazing job of coming up with cool things to 17 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: do between the very camping adventures, trying out different places 18 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: in the city. She'll sometimes just go to a different 19 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: coffee shop and get a tea in the middle of 20 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,839 Speaker 1: the day, I explore different parks, so very cool video. 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: If you haven't gotten a chance to see it. I 22 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,440 Speaker 1: really enjoyed getting to hang out with her while we 23 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:20,040 Speaker 1: were filming it and experiencing the joy of parallel parking 24 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: all over the place as we were filming it. We 25 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: were filming in an urban location, which we will talk 26 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: about later. But yeah, it's Sarah. Are you doing big 27 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,119 Speaker 1: and little adventures these days? Are you following rule number six? 28 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: I'm not like tracking it to the letter, although I 29 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: think it might be fun to do that. I do 30 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: find myself rather intimidated by this rule. However, I do 31 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: absolutely see its benefit, and I think for me it 32 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: helps to keep the bar low for both of them. 33 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: Like this weekend, I'm taking Annabel and Genevieve to the 34 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: container store because Genevieve in particular is like dying to 35 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: go to the container store, and it is across town, 36 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: and it's going to be our adventure for the weekend. 37 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: And a little adventure to me can be something as 38 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 1: mundane is like going on Uber Eats and ordering lunch. 39 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: It's somewhere I have not tried before, because I do 40 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 1: find that these little things are memorable, like they make 41 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: the day more interesting. There's something I probably am going 42 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 1: to like write in my five year journal that night, 43 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: so they make the day a little bit notable. And 44 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: if I tell myself I have to like go camping, 45 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: which I never am gonna want to do, I'm so sorry, Rachna, 46 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: but just know then I won't want to do anything. 47 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: So I think that I have to just meet myself 48 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: where I am with the adventures and set my bar low. 49 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: It's all good. Yeah, no, I mean that's the reality. 50 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: We can't go, you know, sailing across the fjords like 51 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 1: a Viking. I don't know every weekend. It's not gonna happen. 52 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: And sometimes we're in periods of life where we may 53 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: want bigger adventures and some periods of life where we 54 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: want maybe less adventures because life is kind of complicated enough. 55 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: I know I personally have somewhat been feeling that way. Obviously. 56 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 1: I enjoyed flying to Florida a few weeks ago to 57 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: see Sarah. That was a big adventure, and I like 58 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: doing stuff like that. But sometimes motivating the entire family 59 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: to go on a day trip on a weekend, you know, 60 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: when we've got lots of kids stuff going on anyways, 61 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: is a little bit less exciting, especially when we've had, 62 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: you know, not awesome weather over the course of many, 63 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: many months, hopefully coming out of this when this airs. 64 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean just having adventures. It's about making 65 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: life feel a little bit more memorable. And routines are great, 66 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: Like we love routines and they make good choices automatic. 67 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: But when too much same this stacks up, then you 68 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: wind up not being able to remember whole periods of 69 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: life because it's like nothing different happened, right, I say, 70 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: the same Each day is just like every other day. 71 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: So if you can answer why this day is different 72 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: from all other days, or why this week is different 73 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: from all other weeks as we come into not sure 74 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: if passover will have happened when this airs yet or not, 75 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: but that question, you know, why is tonight different from 76 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: all other nights? We want to think about how we 77 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: can ask that question of life in general, how time 78 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: is different. So has a great example of that, but 79 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: many other things that we're going to talk about in 80 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: this interview, So give it a listen. Well. Sarah and 81 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: I are delighted to welcome Rachna Shaw to the program. 82 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: She is a friend of both of ours. We've both 83 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: had the privilege of meeting her in person. So, Rachna, 84 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 1: why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself, 85 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: your job, and your family. Yes. Hi, my name is Rochna. 86 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:30,840 Speaker 1: I am a pediatric undercrinologist, just like Sarah. I live 87 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,280 Speaker 1: in the Philadelphia area with my husband and two sons 88 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:39,799 Speaker 1: who are eleven and thirteen. So on a fun teen 89 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: phase of our parenting. Absolutely, Yeah, it's new challenges, but 90 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: you know, it's kind of fun to be out of 91 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: the little kid years too. And you know Sarah's talked 92 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 1: some about her career journey too. How did you wind 93 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: up in this line of work? I always found the 94 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: endocrine system really satisfying to learn about out their pathways 95 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 1: and biomarkers. And I really have always enjoyed working with 96 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: children and being able to affect health really early on 97 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: in life because it seemed like, yeah, I mean, I 98 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: wonder if you could tell us a little bit about 99 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: that because you work a lot with you know, children 100 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: with diabetes, but also like looking at issues of obesity 101 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: more broadly. Right, Yeah, so I guess three years ago now, 102 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty, I took on a role as the 103 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: medical director of our weight management center at a major 104 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: gent's hospital, so I help our team. I helped lead 105 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: the team and work on finding protocols and treatment plans 106 00:05:52,080 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 1: and really trying to facility working with this population. Job 107 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: involves a lot of administrative work, but there's also opportunities 108 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 1: for clinical care and research. So it's kind of I 109 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: feel like I get to do a little bit of everything. 110 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: Because you've done a lot of research in your career 111 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: as well, I mean that's been part of your career journey, 112 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: doing various forms of research along the way. Yeah, So 113 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: I mean I've kind of evolved. There was a time 114 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: where I actually had a lab and was doing a 115 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: lot of basic research translational research, and kind of grew 116 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: away from that into really wanting to focus on clinical aspects. 117 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: As much as I really enjoyed the scientific challenge of 118 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: working with cell cultures and animal models, I always find 119 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: it more fascinating to work directly with our patients, and 120 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 1: so I've morphed a bit to doing more clinical related research. 121 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: That's awesome. Yeah, And in terms of like what does 122 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: your life wind up looking like day to day, Like 123 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: on a typical work day, then what would your schedule 124 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:19,559 Speaker 1: wind up looking like? So I have like five different 125 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: types of work days, I think, depending on what I'm 126 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: scheduled to do that day, It's say seventy at the time, 127 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: I'm seeing patients in three different locations, and so those 128 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: days are basically start at eight and around five and 129 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: you know, have a motion every thirty minutes or so, 130 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:44,239 Speaker 1: with not a lot of break or time for really 131 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: anything else. And then you know, about thirty percent of 132 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: my work days are more of the administrative research days, 133 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 1: and those days are also extremely variable. I can be 134 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: in my office or i can be at home, and 135 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: I sometimes have back to back meetings all day long, 136 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 1: meeting with all the different numbers of my team and 137 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: working on new initiatives educational initiatives. But my favorite days 138 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: are the ones where I have some time to actually 139 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,119 Speaker 1: work on some of the things that I've been talking 140 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: about in these meetings and really start putting together the writing, 141 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: the research applications, actually getting to focus and do deep work. 142 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: Deep work is always good when it happens. Yeah, And 143 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 1: from what I understand, you are sometimes a morning exerciser 144 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,360 Speaker 1: as well. Are you getting up early to do that? 145 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: Some days I am. I'm not as adamant about it 146 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: as their hub, but yes, I try to exercise, you know, 147 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: four or five days a week, and I do find 148 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: that I'm much more likely to do it if I 149 00:08:55,160 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: do the first thing. I have been known to be 150 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: an exercise close all day long and never get that 151 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: work out in if it didn't happen before I took 152 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: the kids to school. So these days I'm doing a 153 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: mix short runs with the friends early in the morning, 154 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: interspersed with There's a bar studio like less than a 155 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: block away from my house, so I've been doing a 156 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: lot of classes there as well. I really enjoy What 157 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 1: time does that class have to be in order to 158 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 1: make your morning work? So the bars is I can 159 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: only do on my advan days because the earliest class 160 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: they have is at seven fifteen, So I do seven 161 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: fifteen to eight, come home, take a shower, get ready, 162 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: and I'm like straight into ninety m meetings. So yeah, 163 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: and then at the end of the day, like what 164 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: does that look like? You know, you get done with work. 165 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 1: You don't work that far from your house from what 166 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: I understand, and come home. How does that go? Yeah? 167 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: So one of the things I love is that I 168 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: have a walking commute most days, so I walk home 169 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: from work often listening to a podcast and I, you know, 170 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: we kind of get straight into dinner. Usually my kids 171 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: are in activities mostly on the weekends right now, so 172 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: we don't have a lot of running around after school 173 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: and work, which I appreciate, but we get started making dinner. 174 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: My husband and I kind of trade off cooking. We eat, 175 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:42,199 Speaker 1: We often watch TV. To be honest, We've been trying 176 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 1: to rally to go for a walk after work, but 177 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: it doesn't always happened. It depends on the weather. And 178 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: I am quite honestly, very tired in the evening. So 179 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: I am around nine o'clock thinking about heading up to bed. 180 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 1: Sounds like a good plan. All right, Well, we're going 181 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: to take a quick ad break and then we're going 182 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: to learn more about the various things that Rachna does 183 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: with her families. So I am back talking with doctor 184 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: Rachnashaw about her life. You guys, so you talked about 185 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: the walking commute and your family has made a choice 186 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: to stay urban, to really give this city lifestyle a go, 187 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: I mean to the point of doubling down. You guys 188 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 1: are doing a big home renovation project, right so maybe 189 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: you can talk about that, like what you know, many 190 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: people kind of flee to the suburbs once their kids 191 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 1: are six or seven or so. Why did what led 192 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 1: to your decision to stay. You know, it's funny because 193 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: my husband and I both grew up in the South 194 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: and in sprawling suburbia. We moved to Philadelphia as part 195 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: of my training, and we're living in the city, and 196 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: very soon after kind of settling in, we realized that 197 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: we felt quite at home and felt really comfortable and 198 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 1: energized by the urban life. I hate driving, so I 199 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:30,079 Speaker 1: really appreciate being able to work and pretty much everywhere. 200 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 1: For ten over ten years, we didn't have a car, 201 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:38,079 Speaker 1: including when our kids were going to daycare and activities. 202 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: We did everything with our double stroller and the kids 203 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: on scooters and our own two feets. So we have 204 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: a car now, but we use it mostly to get 205 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: out of the city, trying to get our nature fixed 206 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: by going on hikes and weekend camping trips. But we, 207 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: you know, we really appreciate Philadelphia is very livable and 208 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: walkable city. Everything is close by, so that part is great, 209 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 1: And we have, you know, a community, we have friends. 210 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,080 Speaker 1: We you know, a lot of people flee to the 211 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 1: suburbs because of fears around public schools in the city, 212 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: and we actually happen to be really lucky in that 213 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: we have a wonderful neighborhood school with amazing teachers and 214 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 1: leadership that our kids have really thrived at. So we 215 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: really haven't seen the need to leave our our neighborhood. 216 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: And as Laura mentioned, we needed a little more room, 217 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 1: and so we looked into houses in the neighborhood and outside, 218 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 1: including you know, further out into the suburbs, and really 219 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 1: weren't happy with anything found. So we kind of made 220 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: the unusual decision to completely renovate our city rowhouse. We 221 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: are adding a fourth floor for additional bedroom space. Since 222 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 1: we're doing that and needing to you know, work on 223 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: the foundation in the basement to support the additional floor, 224 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,560 Speaker 1: we had to move out and said, well, if we're 225 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: moving out anyways, we might as well make some upgrades 226 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: to the kitchen and our rooms and basically everything. So 227 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,040 Speaker 1: we have undertaken a really huge project which were coming 228 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: towards the end of but we're really hoping to have 229 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: speace for our family to continue to grow and be 230 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: comfortable in. Yeah, so you guys have been living in 231 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: a rental now for about a year. Right, that's a 232 00:14:54,480 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: pretty well Yeah, I was. I was impressed. I was like, whoa, 233 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: they're really serious about staying in the city with doing that. 234 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 1: How has that been? Is it, you know, something of 235 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: an adventure? Maybe? Yeah, we wanted to stay close enough 236 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:15,920 Speaker 1: to the kids' school, so we are about half a 237 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: mile away from our actual home. Living at a rental 238 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: is interesting. On the one hand, things break and we 239 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 1: don't need to worry about paying for fixing them. On 240 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: the other hand, nobody else really cares to fix them 241 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: for you. So, for example, we lived without a washing 242 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: machine for several months this fall until we could finally 243 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: convince the owners to buy a new one. And so 244 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: let's just say, I'm happy to I will be happy 245 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 1: to be back in my own space. Yeah. Is that 246 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: planned for a couple of months in the next few 247 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 1: months or you got a timeline for it at this point? Yeah? 248 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 1: Is six to eight weeks? Six to eight weeks. And 249 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 1: I'm curious, are you you know, are you excited about 250 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: your new kitchen? This is it wasn't your favorite thing 251 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: to be picking out materials, was it? Yeah? You know, 252 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,320 Speaker 1: you never know how many choices there are to make 253 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: until I think you went through this too, Laura, Yep. 254 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 1: I actually enjoyed some of the kitchen stop Like I 255 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: like picking out cabinets, encounters, and tile. Not so excited 256 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 1: about like where do we put the light switches and 257 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: what kind of skirting do you want on your toilets 258 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: and you know, all the different hardware and minutia. Yeah, 259 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: the less glamorous parts of the renovation definitely. Well, I'm 260 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 1: sure the boys are going to be excited too, because 261 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 1: they're going to have their own bedrooms, right, Like that's 262 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: a part of it. Yeah, they shared a room in 263 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: our house, so this is going to be the first 264 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 1: time that they have their own rooms. Very exciting. You know, 265 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: there are sort of the trade offs that urban living 266 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: and wonderful to be able to have the city as 267 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: your space, but then you don't always have as much 268 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: space in your own place until you do a renovation 269 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 1: like this. So I wonder if you talk a little 270 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: bit about you know, the boys are obviously, you know, 271 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: getting older, what does any sort of like childcare, after 272 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: school kind of thing, Like what does it look like 273 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 1: at this point? I mean, because you've sort of aged 274 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,239 Speaker 1: out of the point where they were, you know, in 275 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: meeting so much of the of the care. So what 276 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 1: does it wind up looking like for people as their 277 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,199 Speaker 1: kids reach kind of those middle school years. Yeah, I 278 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 1: mean this is a tricky time actually. You know, my 279 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 1: thirteen year old has aged out of a lot after 280 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: school programs and even summer camps, a lot of the 281 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: city recreational center camps, which is what we primarily used 282 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 1: go up to age twelve, so we've had to look 283 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 1: a bit more creatively at things for him to do 284 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: during the summer. Of course, they get older, the kids 285 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 1: also have a lot more to say about these things. Currently, 286 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 1: we're lucky in our after school care and that my 287 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 1: husband primarily works from home, and at the age that 288 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 1: the kids are at, it's very doable for them to 289 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 1: just be at home working on their homework or playing 290 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:21,360 Speaker 1: video games while he finishes up the rest of his day. 291 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 1: We do sometimes have to struggle on the half days 292 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 1: or days off, but again, they mostly can entertain themselves 293 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 1: as long as there is plenty of food around. I 294 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 1: don't want them sitting around all summer playing video games. 295 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: So we have we've identified some camp options and we've 296 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 1: got We've still had to you know, kind of print 297 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: out the months and look at the weeks and when 298 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: we have vacation, and so that part hasn't really gotten 299 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,360 Speaker 1: much easier, this more camp part, but after school care 300 00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 1: has been pretty much eliminated. I would say, yeah, yeah, no, 301 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,920 Speaker 1: that is tricky with that age because they can't really 302 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:08,760 Speaker 1: be by themselves all the time, and even if it 303 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,160 Speaker 1: is sort of you know, walkable around the area, they 304 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,879 Speaker 1: needed some supervision. But yeah, so that's that's fortunate that 305 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: your husband's mostly working at home at this point, but 306 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: you guys do not stay at home longtime listeners may 307 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 1: recall that Rachna did the video for Tranquility by Tuesday 308 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 1: rule number six on one Big Adventure and One Little Adventure, 309 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,600 Speaker 1: and you guys have been having a reasonable number of adventures. 310 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: Tell us during the pandemic, I think you guys started camping, 311 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: So let's talk about camping. Yeah, so, you know, it 312 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,879 Speaker 1: turns out camping is a great pandemic vacation in that 313 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 1: you really don't have to interact with anybody. So we 314 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: basically took off whatever weekends we could and went to 315 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: local state parks and set up our tents. It is 316 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:10,399 Speaker 1: a very affordable way to travel with kids. We bring 317 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: all our own food, and it leads to a lot 318 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,959 Speaker 1: less money being spent, but also a lot less complaining 319 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: from paky kids. When we can just have hamburgers and 320 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,639 Speaker 1: hot dogs every night, there's really nothing for them to 321 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:27,120 Speaker 1: complain about. And it also just gave us an opportunity 322 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,199 Speaker 1: to get out of the city and connect in a 323 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:37,880 Speaker 1: different way. There's just kids being able to just run around, 324 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 1: ride their bikes around by themselves, throw sticks and poke 325 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,440 Speaker 1: in the mud and go in the lake, and all 326 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 1: of that just seemed to really help calm us all 327 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: down after days on end of all being together and 328 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: being stuck on a screen. So it was a really 329 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: good kind of break during the pandemic. And we still 330 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 1: do it less frequent now because now we're back in 331 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: you know, weekend activities and other types of travel. But 332 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,439 Speaker 1: you know, I really appreciated that time, and you know, 333 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:20,240 Speaker 1: we do plan to continue our camping adventures. Yeah, were 334 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: you kind of like a veteran camperor. Did you grow 335 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 1: up going camping or this was totally new? Neither my 336 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: husband and I grew up camping, so we kind of 337 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: learned as we went. That first time pitching the tent, 338 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 1: I was, yeah, it's still something I know we would 339 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: practice in the living room. But yeah, I feel like 340 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: we've wrote a lot of skills. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. 341 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 1: Our kids are learning some of these skills also good, 342 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: also good. And do you have so let's see, Okay, 343 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,920 Speaker 1: you're your hobbies here, you're camping, you're doing the boot 344 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 1: camp class, and you're you're running with a friend in 345 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,119 Speaker 1: the morning. Is there anything else you sort of do 346 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 1: for fun in life? I love to read. I hopefully 347 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: read about one hundred books a year, and my phone 348 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 1: on my kindle up because it's just so convenient. And 349 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: I think Flora has mentioned, you know, having that book 350 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: there that's ready to go kind of surpasses and need 351 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 1: to want to get on social media for me. So 352 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: uh so I do a lot of reading. I am 353 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,360 Speaker 1: my son and I have both take piano lens. I've 354 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: always wanted to do it as a kid, so it's 355 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 1: something I picked up just over the past year and 356 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,360 Speaker 1: so I've been really enjoying that as well. And where 357 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: do you make time for practicing then? Is that do 358 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 1: you both have like a practicing schedule or how does 359 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,680 Speaker 1: that work here and there? But I'm not that good 360 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 1: at it at remembering to practice. But yeah, sometimes on 361 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 1: a work from home day, I can take a break 362 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,439 Speaker 1: and knock you out fifteen twenty minutes. So just just 363 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: about as much as I can do. Yeah, and then 364 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 1: definitely in that like after dinner or time frame. Yeah, 365 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 1: one hundred books a year is pretty impressive. So I 366 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: mean that's that's not just in those little bits of 367 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,159 Speaker 1: time though. While you're you know, you're like, oh, I 368 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 1: could be on social media for ten minutes to read 369 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: a book. I feel like that must be like the 370 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 1: thing you do before bed at night too. Then right, yes, 371 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 1: I head up to bed at nine o'clock and usually 372 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 1: it's too spend some time with my most recent book. Yeah, 373 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: I also tried to carve out some time on weekends 374 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: to really just and read. Yeah, what you can do 375 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 1: when the kids get older? Right, I feel like this 376 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:49,479 Speaker 1: is you know, recently had this experience. So we often 377 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,240 Speaker 1: send our three year old to a babysitter's house for 378 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,479 Speaker 1: a few hours now on Saturday, and it's like this 379 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,119 Speaker 1: experience of like, oh, this is what it's like to 380 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: only have older kids, Like you couldn't yeah, sit down 381 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 1: and read a book. You know. Something I've realized and 382 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: it's I never thought this would happen, but I have 383 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: to ask the kids to spend time with me. Yes, 384 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 1: like the opposite like I could have. I mean, they're 385 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,160 Speaker 1: very happy to be on their devices or in their 386 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 1: with their friends, and so it is definitely a phase 387 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: where we are actually trying to get them to come 388 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 1: to out and spend time with us or hang out 389 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,879 Speaker 1: with us as for cookie dinner or you know, you 390 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:40,879 Speaker 1: can just like hang around on the weekends because they 391 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 1: have in their own worlds and doing their own thing. 392 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:50,639 Speaker 1: So it's definitely not something I anticipated when they were 393 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:55,400 Speaker 1: like hanging on my leg all day every day. Yep. 394 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 1: Now it's weird that switch that that happens, like oh wait, 395 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: oh yeah, at some point you wanted me to drop 396 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 1: them off the block away from the school. Wow. Yeah, 397 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,960 Speaker 1: we had something like that the other day with my son. Well, 398 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,000 Speaker 1: it was more like, don't bring the rest of the 399 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: kids into somewhere to pick him up and not acknowledge 400 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: that he had other people but no, no, that nobody 401 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 1: nobody else has parents either, right, Like you know, so funny. 402 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,399 Speaker 1: So I guess that's one of the reasons to do 403 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 1: things like camping then, right, because it's something that forces 404 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 1: a wee bit of family time. Yeah, I think we're 405 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:40,200 Speaker 1: realizing that, you know, we're planning in like weekend hikes 406 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,480 Speaker 1: and camping trips and things really for the kids to 407 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 1: be author screens and interacting with us. And you guys 408 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 1: had when we talked about it doing the video you 409 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: were doing on occasion. I mean, I realized this doesn't 410 00:25:55,560 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 1: happen every night or whatever, but some kind of evening adventures, 411 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,800 Speaker 1: like little adventures you could have with your family. And 412 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 1: that's one of the things with Philadelphia, right, I mean, 413 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:09,639 Speaker 1: there's so much that is there. Yeah, I admit that 414 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: with you know, we are much better about this in 415 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,359 Speaker 1: the summer months, and now that it's light out a 416 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 1: little bit later, I think we need to start. We're 417 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 1: going to start reinstituting just at least one night a 418 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:28,360 Speaker 1: week being not exactly the same as all the other guys. 419 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,119 Speaker 1: And so I know in the past we tried things 420 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: like going to a rock climbing gym, going to mini golf, fulling. 421 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: You know, there's lots of ice skating, roller skating, things 422 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:43,159 Speaker 1: like that. So I think I wanted to put together 423 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:47,200 Speaker 1: like a spring summer fun list with the kids adding 424 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,880 Speaker 1: some suggestions and then seeing how we can make those 425 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: things happen. Yeah, sounds awesome. Well, we always end, as 426 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: you know, with a love of the week. So you 427 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,919 Speaker 1: know something that's been been good for for you lately. 428 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: I could go first my thing that I am enjoying 429 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: right now, and this is maybe this is gonna sound terrible, 430 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 1: cheap clothes, and I can explain that. You know, I 431 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 1: went through a phase where I'm like, I'm gonna buy 432 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: fewer things, but they're gonna be nicer. It's gonna be great. 433 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: You know, I can invest in stuff and keep it forever. 434 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: I wound up, you know, I spill stuff on things, 435 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:27,640 Speaker 1: I snag things. I had like moths eat a bunch 436 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,440 Speaker 1: of my sweaters. I was like, all right, I went 437 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 1: onto Amazon. I bought like four T shirts for twenty 438 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: dollars each. Not like if they fall apart, it doesn't matter, 439 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 1: It's not the end of the world. So I was 440 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: a I think there's definitely a place for nicer clothes, 441 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:49,439 Speaker 1: and I encourage people to think about doing that. Fewer pieces, nicer, 442 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: invest in them. But some stages of life it just 443 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 1: doesn't work. So here's here's to the twenty dollars shirt 444 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,199 Speaker 1: that you do not really care about. How about you, 445 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: What's what are you enjoying right now? So this might 446 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: sound a little odd, but I'm going to say television, 447 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:09,359 Speaker 1: oh okay, and specifically shows that we can watch together 448 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 1: as a family. So currently we are watching ted Lasso 449 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:19,920 Speaker 1: season three and a wonderful show about the Philadelphia public 450 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,679 Speaker 1: school system Abbot Elementary. It's just nice to have something 451 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 1: that comes out once a week that we look forward 452 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 1: to that all of us actually want to watch instead 453 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 1: of the inane like early childhood dribble that used to 454 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 1: be played on our screens. So I'm really enjoying part 455 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 1: of this phase with teens and tweens is finding things 456 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 1: that they enjoy that we actually enjoy as well. So yeah, 457 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: well I'm curious about, you know, being a Philadelphia public 458 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:52,400 Speaker 1: school parent, what you do think of Abbot Elementary. So 459 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: I honestly think it is very accurate. I mean, obviously 460 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:01,000 Speaker 1: there's things that are exaggerated for community effect, but the 461 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: way the teachers are so caring and so invested in 462 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 1: their job and their students, like rings one hundred percent 463 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: true to our experience, and so I actually love that 464 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: that show is on television and showing a different side 465 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: of what people usually think of as just the terrible place. Yeah, 466 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: I know, you guys have been thrilled with your your school. 467 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,680 Speaker 1: Are they able to keep in that through to the end. 468 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,360 Speaker 1: I mean, you're good through high school. We're in a 469 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: key through eight. So the boys are both their ring 470 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: after middle school. But we are going to be in 471 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:47,680 Speaker 1: the throes of the high school application process about six 472 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: months from now, so I am not sure how that's 473 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 1: going to go. We'll see. Yeah, yeah, well, you know, 474 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's other urban parents out there that you 475 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 1: can learn from through the process of time, one step 476 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: at a time, exactly. Well, Rochna, thank you so much 477 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: for joining us, and we really appreciate you taking the 478 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: time to do this. Thank you. Well, we are back. 479 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 1: I just was interviewing doctor Rochmashaw about her work, her family, 480 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: her adventures, life in general. We have a question from 481 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 1: a listener who says, I recently moved to a new 482 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:29,080 Speaker 1: city and I'm generally introverted, but I still want local friends. 483 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:34,280 Speaker 1: So what is the best way for cultivating adult friendships? So, Sarah, 484 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: you've moved in recent years, and why don't you tell 485 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,800 Speaker 1: us a little bit about what you did. I mean, 486 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: the first thing I would say is patience, because every 487 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: time I move, I think that I'm going to like 488 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: instantly be able to replicate my same group of friends 489 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: in like six months, and in my experience it does 490 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 1: take years. It probably took even longer with my latest 491 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: move because we moved in twenty nineteen and twenty twenty 492 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: one and twenty twenty we're a little tougher for making friends. 493 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 1: People didn't want to like invest their risk in people 494 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: they didn't know. I guess as much. But now it's 495 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,240 Speaker 1: obviously much better. So I mean, the things that have 496 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: worked for me are I mean, some ons I just 497 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: like try to stray. If a parent just seems interesting 498 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: maybe by like I mean, this is so superficial, but 499 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 1: like one of their clothing choices perhaps like just strikes 500 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,520 Speaker 1: my then I'll ask them about it and like try 501 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 1: to strike up a conversation and maybe even try to 502 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 1: suggest some kind of low stakes hang like, oh, do 503 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: you want to take a walk during this gymnastics class 504 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: because I hate just sitting here and we're not, you know, 505 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 1: doing anything. That would be a nice low stakes way. 506 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 1: And if the worst case scenario it's a boring conversation 507 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: that at least you got some movement in. I will 508 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: say running has been such a great way of making 509 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 1: friends over the years, and I am like so happy 510 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 1: because I haven't had running friends for a long time 511 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 1: and now I have running friends again. And the funny 512 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 1: thing about running friends is, at least in my experience, 513 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: like when you make one, they may already have some 514 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, like you have a 515 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 1: group and you had none before. So that's been great. 516 00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 1: I started a book club because I wanted to join 517 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: a book club and there wasn't one in my neighborhood. 518 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: I know that might not be every introvert's favorite thing 519 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:07,000 Speaker 1: to do, but at least you could find out if 520 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 1: there are already groups in place, either for books or 521 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 1: supper or whatever, because then you wouldn't even have to 522 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 1: do much work except show up. And then, finally, I'll say, 523 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 1: post to our Patreon, because there's been quite the social 524 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:24,160 Speaker 1: explosion happening recently, including like live meetups being born. So 525 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 1: if nothing else fails, you should join us on Patreon 526 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: and maybe you'll find someone in your city. Yeah, exactly, 527 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: But online communities in general, if you have a very 528 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:37,720 Speaker 1: specialized sort of trusting online community. You might ask around 529 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: and see if people are relatively local to you, and 530 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 1: you know you already have something in common because you're 531 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,600 Speaker 1: part of this whatever community. It is, our Patreon community 532 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: being a great one, but there are many out there, 533 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 1: and you know, if the somebody lives thirty minutes from you, 534 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 1: it might be worth meeting up, right, if you're trying 535 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 1: to cultivate that relationship with somebody who you already know 536 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: has a lot in common with you. But yeah, I 537 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 1: mean I would be saying patience as well, because you 538 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:08,200 Speaker 1: don't need that many close friends. I mean, maybe some 539 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: people are just total social butterflies, But it sounds like 540 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: this listener really isn't you know. I don't think she's 541 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: really going to want to handle more than like four 542 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: or five. I think four or five would be great 543 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: if she felt like she had four or five people 544 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 1: she was relatively close to, and if you sort of 545 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 1: give yourself a pace of making a new one who 546 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: could be part of that four to five every six months, 547 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 1: even maybe four to six months. To take that, I 548 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: mean that's going to take you two years. So but 549 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 1: if you have that as your goal, like I am 550 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: going to find a new friend in the next six months. 551 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,520 Speaker 1: Like probably you can start with a couple people who seem, 552 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 1: you know, relatively cool, and see if any of them 553 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: there's sort of a connection, a little bit more chemistry, 554 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 1: you want to do a little bit more with them, 555 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 1: get together a little bit more frequently, and you know, 556 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 1: over a couple of months that can happen. I mean, 557 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,720 Speaker 1: it's sort of like dating, although you didn't don't then 558 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: keep adding to it, I guess, and goal with the 559 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,480 Speaker 1: dating kind of narrow completely down to one, not so 560 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,160 Speaker 1: much with friendship, but but the same mindset of trying 561 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,800 Speaker 1: lots of different people and seeing if there's a bit 562 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 1: of a connection there sounds good and if all else fails, 563 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,120 Speaker 1: join lots of online Oh and you know what I'll say, 564 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 1: sometimes texting is less scary, so kind of like with dating, 565 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,440 Speaker 1: get their digits and then like you can always send 566 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: them a meme or something and test the waters, and 567 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:19,279 Speaker 1: then sometimes it's just easier to get things started off 568 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,560 Speaker 1: that way. Yes, exactly, all right, Well this has been 569 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 1: best of both worlds. I was interviewing doctor Rachna Shaw 570 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,280 Speaker 1: about all things you know, related to being a physician, 571 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 1: being a mother of older kids now all that she 572 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 1: does with her families, her hobbies. We will be back 573 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 1: next week with more on making work and life fit together. 574 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,319 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 575 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, 576 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 577 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,760 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 578 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 579 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 1: life work together. Out