1 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson, 2 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten 3 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or 4 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to 5 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human 6 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: condition as ten minutes will permit. Many novels on steroids. 7 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: This week we meet Baby Kane and his parents. Baby 8 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: Kane is just about to escape from the backyard and 9 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: crawl up onto the railroad tracks. At the same moment, 10 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: the Union Pacific rolls west across the New Mexico Desert. 11 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: Will Baby Caane gets splattered by the lead locomotive if 12 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: he manages to stay off the tracks. What about the 13 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: venomous rattlesnake that's just had its rattle severed by the 14 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: fleeing caboose. Well, that sidewinder nail Baby Caine. If not 15 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:22,639 Speaker 1: the train. Mom and dad Aaron and Adam are busy 16 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: with their new biz land of enchantment, adult gifts and novelties. 17 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: They don't know they're boys in jeopardy. They don't know 18 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: what evils lurk. Sidewinder Baby Caane turns a year old 19 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: later this afternoon. His parents, who love a good party, 20 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: have a big bash planned. But right now Baby Caine 21 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: has escaped his playpen in the backyard and is half 22 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: crawling and half walking stumbling to the fence at the 23 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: rear of the property. The fence should contain the rambunctious youngster, 24 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: though there is a gate hopefully latched but definitely not locked. 25 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: And then there's the good sized hole the hound dog 26 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: dog under the fence. A week or so ago, the 27 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: little bitch crawled straight through, spent the whole night howling, 28 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: and has been heard but not seen since. The hole 29 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: is still there, though in the hope of the hound 30 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: returning the same way she bolted, can Baby Cane fit 31 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:43,240 Speaker 1: through that hole? Likely not, but well, probably best not 32 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: to find out. The thing is just beyond the backyard 33 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: fence runs the Union Pacific line that cuts a swath 34 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: through this part of south central New Mexico. The big 35 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: trains ron umble through here, often slowly, as the locomotives 36 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: might be pulling three or four hundred cars piled high 37 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: with coal, fertilizer, machine parts, cattle cars, and god knows 38 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: what else. A train whistle sounds in the distance, still 39 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: a ways off, but she's a coming. Not a thing 40 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:28,279 Speaker 1: on God's green Earth can stop her. Mom she's upstairs 41 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: on a video call, and Dad, he's downstairs with a 42 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: couple of customers. They moved out here to the desert 43 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: a few months ago from San Francisco Mountain View, actually, 44 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: where Aaron worked for Apple and Adam for various startups. 45 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: They hated their jobs, the insanely long hours and hold 46 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: ruthless high tech corporate thing so serious and so stupid. 47 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: Now they run the Land of Enchantment, adult gifts and novelties. 48 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: Aaron does a lot of online sexcapades. She thinks it's 49 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: an absolute riot, the way lonely, horny, desperate men will 50 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: type in their master card numbers, expiration dates, and security 51 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:25,119 Speaker 1: codes just to watch some milf who doesn't ever even 52 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: show her face, pinch her nipples and rub her crotch, 53 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: oh and moan. Aaron's always willing to give her paying 54 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 1: customers a high quality fake moan. Fifty bucks for the 55 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 1: first five minutes, ten bucks for every minute thereafter. Che 56 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: Chang Che Chang. Kind of like the aging, only more 57 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: profitable and far more amusing. Adam and Aaron always say, 58 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: if it's not amusing, dude, why bother? Now, Aaron, she 59 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 1: has built up a very nice clientele. She sees the 60 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: same master card numbers over and over. Adam runs the 61 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:13,039 Speaker 1: retail end. He's laid out a nice assortment of dildo's, 62 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 1: strap onds and vibrators for the middle aged married couple 63 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 1: looking to spruce up their sex lives. Unlike many of 64 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: Adam's customers, whose squirmy discomfort can be seen, felt and 65 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: practically smelled, these two old pros are ready to roll. 66 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: They've already cruised through the porn video scene, the bondage game, 67 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: various toys and enhancements. Now well, now they just want good, 68 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: well made equipment to provide bigger, bolder, longer, more powerful orgasms. 69 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: And I really think, says Baby Kane's father, the way 70 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 1: to go here would be a pair of back door 71 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: lover anal plugs. Hmm, says the hobby, nodding anal plugs. Nice. 72 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: His bride gives a little shrug followed by a sly smile. 73 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: Adam takes a purple backdoor lover out of the cabinet 74 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: and sets it on the counter for their inspection. Now 75 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: both of you insert one of these puppies before copulation, 76 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: and I swear to God, if you don't both go 77 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: through the roof, I guarantee you a full refund. Like 78 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: his wife, Adam finds the whole sex toy biz quite 79 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,000 Speaker 1: a frolic and what a dandy way to gain insight 80 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: into the species of which he counts himself a willing participant. 81 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: The mile long freight rolls across the desert, whistle wailing, 82 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:59,600 Speaker 1: and moments later, the engineer of the lead locomotive spots 83 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,719 Speaker 1: the Land of Enchantment Adult Gifts and Novelties sign on 84 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: the back of the shop. He also spots a kid 85 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: wearing nothing but pajama bottoms, playing in a scrubby yard 86 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: with its sandy soil and weedy grass. Plenty glad the 87 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: engineer is to see a chain link fence so that 88 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: youngster can't crawl up onto the damn railroad tracks. Twenty 89 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 1: two years he's been running these trains. He's hit his 90 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: share of Mexican wolves, mule deer, cottontails, and no end 91 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:41,240 Speaker 1: of side winders, but never a human, never a kid. 92 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: Thank God, Hit a kid and kiss any serenity you 93 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: might have earned Adios. Where's your mama, boy, the engineer 94 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: shouts out the window as his mile long freight rolls west. Mama, 95 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: she's upstairs inserting a mile long string of wonderbeads into 96 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: her poon while emitting a very convincing or gasmic like 97 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: moan from her mouth chee ching che chan. While downstairs, 98 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: Dad raps a couple back door lovers, one pink and 99 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: one purple for his middle aged lovebirds. Busy investigating the 100 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: back room with its bondage gear and dancing poles, Baby 101 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: Kane reaches the back fence, pulls himself up, wraps his 102 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 1: wee fingers around the chain link. Chew Choo. He shouts 103 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: over the roar of the freight. Choo choo. They were 104 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: the kid's first words, even before Mama or Dada muttered 105 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: them soon after the family moved to the desert. Baby 106 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: Kane shakes the fence. Chew choo, Choo choo. Baby Cane crawls, walks, 107 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: stumbles over to the gate, gives it a shake. The 108 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: latch holds the Union Pacific picks up speed. Baby Kane 109 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,560 Speaker 1: crawls to the hole. The hound dog dog crawls right 110 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: into the hole like a gopher. A couple seconds later, 111 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 1: he pops out the other side, sandy dirt on his face, 112 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: hands and train pajamas. Cheo choo, choo choo. Baby Kane 113 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: crawls across the desert and starts up the shallow embankment 114 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: that elevates the tracks. Back at the shop, in the 115 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: back room, the woman who just bought a rubbery plasticy 116 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: gizmo to shove up her butt in the hopes of 117 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: achieving a truly inspired orgasm after twenty six years humping 118 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:51,439 Speaker 1: the same pound of flesh, looks out the window and, 119 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: oh my god, sees a little kid crawling up the 120 00:09:54,360 --> 00:10:00,839 Speaker 1: railroad embankment. Her shriek brings Baby Kane's father running. He 121 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: looks out the window and freaks for the love of Christ, 122 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: and then Aaron, what the hell are you doing up there? 123 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: Caine's on the tracks, well, not quite on the tracks, 124 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: not yet, but close. Adam and Erin crash through the 125 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:22,080 Speaker 1: back door of the Land of Enchantment adult toys and 126 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: novelties and sprint across that scabby lawn like a couple 127 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: athletes vying to make the Olympic Track and Field team. 128 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: Erin barely has any clothes on, but no one right 129 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: now really wants to talk about her bouncing boobs or 130 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 1: the equipment hanging out of her lower orifices. The caboose 131 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: rolls west, its steel wheels, missing Baby Cane by mere inches. 132 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: Choo choo. He screams, giddy with this close encounter with 133 00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: the Union Pacific Mom and Dad exploding sweat pouring off 134 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: their brows and out of their pits reach the fence. Cain, Cain, 135 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,959 Speaker 1: my god, baby, what are you doing? Baby Kane ignores them. 136 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 1: Something new has his interest, something lying on the tracks 137 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: just a few feet away. It's a desert sidewinder's rattle, 138 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: recently severed from the sidewinder's body by the steel wheels 139 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 1: of that fleeing caboose. Baby Kane loves rattles. He reaches 140 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,319 Speaker 1: out to grab it, and just as he does, that 141 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,680 Speaker 1: desert sidewinder, ticked off at the loss of its body part, 142 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:46,079 Speaker 1: coils and prepares to strike with a lightning speed. The small, 143 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: venomous rattlesnake unleashes its fury on the thing about to 144 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 1: touch its lost tail. Adam and Aaron through the gate 145 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: and halfway up the embankment, scream bloody murder, but the 146 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: serpent equilibrium askew without its rattle, misses its mark, slides 147 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:12,439 Speaker 1: awkwardly off the embankment and slithers back into the desert. 148 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: Aaron scoops up Baby Kane and presses him against her 149 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: bare breast. Adam throws his arms around his family and 150 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: pulls them close and tonight. After the party, they engage 151 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: in some very lustful passion and lo and behold conceive 152 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: baby Kane's little brother, Abel Paradise restored. Hey, thanks for 153 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: listening to this original audio presentation of Sidewinder, narrated by 154 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: the author. If you and joy today's story, please take 155 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 1: a few seconds to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, 156 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: and then go to Thomas William Simpson dot com for 157 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 1: additional information about the author and to view his extensive canon. 158 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:22,520 Speaker 1: The Ten Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Plaglici and 159 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: Josh Colottney and as part of the Elvis Duran Podcast 160 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: Network in partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this 161 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.