1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio. Hey 2 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:08,559 Speaker 1: Elizabeth Done, Zaron Brunette. Do you know what's ridiculous? Oh? 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: My god, I do? I do? Wait? Wait, I had 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: one for you. You You go first? No, okay, I go first. 5 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: Did you know that Kraft Macaroni and Cheese makes Craft 6 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: Macaroni and cheese gummies like actual like edible gum like 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: weed candies. No, there's no, there's no funky stuff in it. 8 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: Tastes like they're like gummy bear gummy worms, that kind 9 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: of gummies. Right. Let me let me read you the 10 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 1: product description. The iconic Craft Macaroni and Cheese now in 11 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: gummy form. Enjoy the fruit flavored macaroni shaped gummy mac 12 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: and cheese as a sweet treat or as a fun 13 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: gift for birthday parties, favors road trips, backyard barbecue, or 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 1: just a great tasting candy. Delight your family and friends 15 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: and serve them a bowl of gummy macaroni and cheese, 16 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: No fork required. Each box includes five point six two 17 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: ounces of delicious candy, and then it comes in a 18 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: three pack. You can get them on Amazon. There's an 19 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: argument in the Amazon reviews about what the actual flavor 20 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: is for three boxes. No, it's like something fruity. So 21 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: here's one I missed. The Macaroni and Cheese gummies. It 22 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: looks like macaroni and cheese. It looks like orange macaroni cheese, 23 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: but it's flavored like some sort of fruit. So one review, 24 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,839 Speaker 1: which is by someone named in in seas, it looks 25 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: like incestor but it's in st anyway. Um, he said. 26 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: All most of the reviews, by the way, are people 27 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: who got it for free, so take that for what 28 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: it's worth. Um. These are fairly tasty, but the fun 29 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: really is in the mac and cheese packaging. The actual 30 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: gummies don't really resemble the Kraft mac and Cheese noodles, 31 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: but have a larger, more classic elbow macaroni shape. As 32 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: for the flavor, it's quote kind of good, according to 33 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: my eight year old, a nondescript fruity flavor, kind of 34 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: mango et orange, mango orange. It tastes kind of like fruit. 35 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: There's a great one star review. This package is sealed 36 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:18,799 Speaker 1: and there's an insect wing in it. Not cool. No, 37 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 1: there's someone who goes on and on about all the 38 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: artificial um ingredients in it. Yes, new Jersey strikes again. 39 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: What have they done? My friends? This? Look at the 40 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: actual box of macroy you leave my Kraft Macaroni and 41 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: cheese out that got us through the wars. Well there's 42 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 1: it contains titanium dioxide, a controversial metal that can potentially 43 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 1: cause toxicity. So yeah, that's in a white paint. Also, 44 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: if you're vegan, it contains gelatin. So sorry, pals. Anyway, 45 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: all right, well they're they're losing out. Really, I think 46 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 1: that's the So I would classify this as ridiculous. I 47 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: would say we can both agree on that one, and 48 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 1: I want to hear no more of it. You're welcome, jeez. Okay, 49 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: well I got something for you. If you got a second, 50 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: I do you're in the move or something ridiculous? Always have? 51 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: I got a story for you. Oh my god. Okay. 52 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: One hundred years ago, in Sing Sing Prison in New York, 53 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: a group of prison surgeons removed the testicles of an 54 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: incarcerated man who had been electrocuted in the electric chair. Right, okay, okay, 55 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: now you wondering, Saren. I don't get it though. Why 56 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: would a group of prison surgeons harvest and executed man's 57 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: family jewels Elizabeth, You're lucky I have the answer. Prison 58 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: surgeons planned to transplant the executed man's gonads into the 59 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: scrotum of a detective named Greg Houser, who happened to 60 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: also be a prisoner in Sing Sing. Now we'll go ahead, Okay, No, no, 61 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: this there's a detective who was as we have a 62 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: dirty coup, dirty cop, and he gets balls put into 63 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: his sack thanks to the prison surgeons. And the reason 64 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: why they did this in Sing Sing is the surgeons 65 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: this was their way to get around medical oversight and everything. 66 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: They would say, hey, guys, you cannot go tuck in 67 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: purloin uts into another man's sack, but they said we 68 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: can do in the prison. Well, it was like there 69 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: wasn't really anyone around to stop them. I think it's 70 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: kind of the idea. No, Elizabeth, you may be wondering, Zaren, 71 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: why would this group of mad prison doctors transplant the 72 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: testicles of one man into the scrotum of another man. 73 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: I mean, like, what gives were they smuggling nuts? Great question, Elizabeth, 74 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: that's a great question. I'm so glad I asked that question. 75 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: And I'll let you know they were not smuggling balls. 76 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: So were they what were they doing exactly? Well, Elizabeth, 77 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: you may not know this because you're not a doctor, 78 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: but men's crotches are very important to science, like very 79 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: very important. And it's the same reason why there's like 80 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,159 Speaker 1: thirty seven pills to give you a stiffer erection, but 81 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 1: we don't really have a good pill for like this, 82 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 1: the you know, treatment of PMS. It's because men's crotches 83 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: is where the money is now. Science is very focused 84 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: on the crotches of men because, like car makers and 85 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: sex workers before them, they have learned that men will 86 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: pay a lot to feel virile. It really is like 87 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: way to get those checks signed right now, you know, 88 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: simply put, I can just say just you know, in 89 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: one glancing phrase, balls are big business right now. The 90 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: story I want to tell you today focuses on this 91 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 1: fact of commerce. It's the tale of the Great testical 92 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: Thieves of Chicago. I am so terrified right now. I 93 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:45,120 Speaker 1: know this is ridiculous crying by podcast about absurd and 94 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: outrageous capers, heists and cons. It's always present, murder free 95 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 1: and ridiculous. Elizabeth, you don't have any testicles, not that 96 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: you know of, not that I know of none that 97 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,600 Speaker 1: you've ever told in the basement. But I want you 98 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 1: to not have any testicle other than your testical collection, 99 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 1: you know, like I want you to do will be 100 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,359 Speaker 1: a favor. I want to try to empathize with some 101 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,159 Speaker 1: of the guys in today's story. So I need you 102 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: to imagine you had your own ball sack. No, no, okay, 103 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: I'll pretend. Okay, Now, this is the most have no 104 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: empathy to think. This is the most sensitive part of 105 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: your body other than your brain, and it's hanging there 106 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: between your legs. You have to protect that, right those 107 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: if you have to protect it, why why do they 108 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: have to? Why the men have to put their legs 109 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 1: so far apart when they sit like on public transportation 110 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: airing out? All right? Continue, So now that you have 111 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: your own ball sack and you're imagining, you know, your 112 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 1: family jewels hanging from your your body as I tell 113 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,279 Speaker 1: you this shocking horror story from a century ago, I 114 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: want you to kind of skip past the whole Dr 115 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,360 Speaker 1: Frankenstein meets Jack the Ripper part, and we're going to 116 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,480 Speaker 1: focus on the citizens of Windy City and what this 117 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: is doing to them. There was a mad doc. They're 118 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 1: snipping the sacks of Chicago's young men, Like, what do 119 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: you do with that news? I want you to be 120 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: thinking about of Chicago and I stay out of jail. 121 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: I guess the Windy City was wild in nineteen two, 122 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: because oh yeah, there was a headline. And I'm not 123 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: talking al capone, I'm talking well, I'll just read you 124 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: the headline October fifto. This headline breaks and it goes 125 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: across the nation's headlines or the nation's newspapers because it 126 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: was part of the wire service. The headline and I 127 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: quote Chicago physicians discover unique crime and first known human 128 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: gland theft in history. Now we know what human gland 129 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: we're talking about. This testicle napping was the first ever 130 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: recorded gland piracy and the victim was this former beat 131 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: farmer named Joseph Wazniak farmer. Yes, Joseph was former beat farmer. 132 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 1: Yes you can picture Dwight true if that helps you 133 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: so well. And I also know how much you of beats. 134 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: Oh my god, extra exactly my favorite of the root vegetables. 135 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: And it was at the time was thirty four years old, 136 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: he was married and he was newly moved to Chicago. 137 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: He left beat farming behind and went to the big city. 138 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: Now he comes under attack and he has no memory 139 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: of the theft. Theft of his balls wasn't he tells 140 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 1: the Chicago police when they come to investigate. Quote, when 141 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: it came through, my mind was befuddled. I didn't know 142 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: I'd been operated on. I thought I had a hangover. 143 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: I had the taste of ether or a chloroform in 144 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 1: my mouth. I felt intense pain, and when I got 145 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: home I called Dr. Sampo Lynsky. No, it can you 146 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,719 Speaker 1: imagine that because someone comes along, they gass you, they 147 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: reach in and they just take your balls, Like, what 148 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: do you even do with that? I don't. So he 149 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: had they and they didn't like give him a placeholder. 150 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: They didn't stick some ping pong balls in there, and 151 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: they didn't give him any new downs running flat, he's 152 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 1: got a sagging section. Now, oh wow, Well, you know 153 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:07,079 Speaker 1: there are so many issues in terms of the hygiene 154 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: of the operation and the scarring. This happened on like 155 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: in a doorway. Yeah, so, I mean, did he have 156 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: a lot of blood laws? I mean, he woke up 157 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: and I guess had his wits about him to go 158 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: get help. But no, he did not actually he woke 159 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: up and there was a person standing over him and 160 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 1: he had been gassed. So he was coming in and 161 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: out of consciousness. That when the person couldn't fully rouse him, 162 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: they took him to the hospital. So when he comes around, 163 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 1: he's in the er and he's like, wait, what's going on? Yeah, 164 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: that's terrifying. There was another story from this time at 165 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,839 Speaker 1: the headline Wisconsin beat field laborer is victim of gland 166 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 1: theft in Chicago. Right now they're just focusing on gland 167 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: theft becomes the term. It was the same guy. It 168 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: wasn't like they were hitting all the beat beat farmers 169 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,640 Speaker 1: were not the marks for the testicle them the story 170 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: like I see, I see a victimology. Those big strap 171 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 1: and beat farmers. You need to get yourself one of them. Now, 172 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: you know what? You know what you call it when 173 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: the beat farmers when they go to like ship everything 174 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 1: um off the farm to the story, they put him 175 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: in those big crates and you know what that's called beatboxing. 176 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: You're welcome. I cannot believe he dis went with that. 177 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: You know, it took a long set up to because 178 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: word that baby and I do it again. Since you 179 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:21,840 Speaker 1: were wondering about our man, Joseph Waznia. He had told Dr. 180 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: Sampolynsky that and I quote he was chuoriformed. He said 181 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: when he regained consciously found himself on a sidewalk under 182 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: a viaduct. The operation had been performed with expert skill. 183 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 1: It was believed by the police that son, wealthy and 184 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: perhaps aged man benefited by the criminal action. Oh yes, 185 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: so it's just like nut harvesting. They're looking for strapping men. Okay, exactly, 186 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 1: how you catching up? Now? The cops are as you 187 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: might imagine, flummox by all this, because they're not as 188 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: quick as you are. They're like, why are they doing this? 189 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: Very few people are yeah, I know right, the Irish cops, 190 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: you know, the Irish cops Chicago. They were telling our boy, 191 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,959 Speaker 1: you know Joe, They're like, now, look, Joey boy, we're 192 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: all terribly sorry about your stolen baby makers. I got 193 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,680 Speaker 1: me men all around town looking high and low for 194 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,839 Speaker 1: you're missing stones. So I just say, you know, we're 195 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: checking every dumpster, looking over every abandoned car for your balls. Mayboy. 196 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: Now that had to make him feel good, right, you 197 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: know he's from the paper. No, that was ad libbed. 198 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: Quote of my own. That was a fictionalization. Yeah, that 199 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: was That was to give you a sense of the 200 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: time I felt like I was there. Now, I do 201 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: have a quote for you if you like, one of 202 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: those the Lieutenant John Coughlin, one of my good Irish 203 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: cops from Chicago, Johnny Boy. He tells the Chicago Press 204 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: that there, you know, obviously the Chicago presses all over 205 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,319 Speaker 1: the story, I mean national is but because they're the locals, 206 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 1: they're trying to get these stories and break them through 207 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: the wire service. So everybody's attending all of these press 208 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 1: conferences and John Coughlin has got to go out there, 209 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: and he's getting battered by the press, and so they're 210 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 1: asking him about these testical things, and he goes, all right, 211 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 1: we may be confronted with the same situation that faced 212 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,559 Speaker 1: the authority in China two thousand years ago. The Chinese 213 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: at the time had learned to graft the thyroid gland 214 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: and a rejuvenation operation, and no healthy young man was 215 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,959 Speaker 1: safe on the streets. So that's where he Apparently, the 216 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: Chicago lieutenant spent a good deal of time thinking about 217 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: Chinese nutsacks, because he immediately had a sure fire theory 218 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: ready made as soon as he was asking, like, he said, 219 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 1: they were taking thyroids in China. Well, they were. They 220 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: learned to graft the thyroid gland, and since this was 221 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: a gland, he just figured they must be grafting glands. 222 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: You don't go with this is a solid police theory, Elizabeth, 223 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,439 Speaker 1: I am really suspicious at this at that time, or 224 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,319 Speaker 1: you know, any time when they're like, you know what, 225 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: I think it is the Chinese, ancient Chinese magic, that's 226 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: what this is, ancient Chinese. So the Chicago p D, 227 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:50,560 Speaker 1: you know, they were tasked with preventing this rise of 228 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: gland pirates. Now you've been recently gifted with a sack 229 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: of your own, what would you expect them to do 230 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: to protect you? I don't know. Well, I mean, okay, 231 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 1: so we have this rash. Are they gentleman who've been 232 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 1: out drinking? And this is what joe Was wife came 233 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: up with as her theory. She was like, my boy, 234 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: Joey's out getting drunk, which was true. He had tied 235 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: one on and she said, well, I think maybe he 236 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,559 Speaker 1: sold his nuts to an eager buyer. And his wife 237 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 1: was like she tells the press this, It's like, hey, thanks, honey, 238 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,959 Speaker 1: but she says to the press, she theorizes that her 239 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: out of work beat farmer husband may have sold his 240 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 1: nuts for extra cash, and now Wania He's like, I 241 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: don't know my wife's talking about. He vigorously denies everything 242 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: she says, and he's like not as like, as long 243 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: as I have fingers to chop off, I'm not going 244 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: to my scrolled him first. They're like that, I mean, 245 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: I don't have I have have imaginary testicles for this show. 246 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: But and I'm trying to put myself in that position. 247 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 1: I appreciate to imagine any man being like, you know what, 248 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,439 Speaker 1: I need a little cash. Let's just cut him on 249 00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: the first thing I'm coming up with. I can't ditch. 250 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,199 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna you know, men would be more likely 251 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:03,079 Speaker 1: to try and sell someone else's nuts than there. As 252 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: I told you, this hasn't been a national news story 253 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: because he seems people hear gland piracy testical thieves, everybody 254 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 1: wants to read about it. So now down in Texahoma, Texas, 255 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:15,439 Speaker 1: they have an editorial published in October two about this 256 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,840 Speaker 1: is about two weeks after the initial news breaks, and 257 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: they're like, and I quote, gland piracy is the latest 258 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 1: and most ungodly of all nefarious practices this nation has 259 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: ever produced. Now it's been very you know, traditional Texahoma, 260 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: Texas Times editorial fashion. Taking Vladimir Lenin's advice that you 261 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 1: decide it's keen for all to focus on who benefited 262 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: from this crime, and I quoted medical science has demonstrated 263 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 1: that youth full vigor may be restored to the old 264 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: man by graph none of the manhood gland of a 265 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: young and robust pusson where they are seniland daughter and 266 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: old fossils of well who crave to become young bucks Again, 267 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: there will always be found on scrupulous surgeons and gland 268 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: pirates willing to serve them for a share out. Will 269 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: Now the manhood of all young men must be protected 270 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 1: at all hazards and at all costs. Thank you. Okay, 271 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: was beautiful. So these are transplants were talking about? What 272 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: do you mean there? The med Yeah, okay, if you're 273 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: sticking with me, I'm trying so hard. Okay. Back in Chicago, 274 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: the crime wave is just getting going right and dark 275 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: roomors start swirling around the glass and steel caverns of 276 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: the Windy City. The people are a panicked right they're 277 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: whispering unholy things, talking about what the Gland pirates are doing. 278 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,720 Speaker 1: These midnight ball snatchers, college age men. They are terrified 279 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: to go out at night, Elizabeth. They would only travel 280 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: in groups to feel that way, they could feel safe 281 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 1: right their guarding their futures, and they're scared little fists 282 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: right now. The Chicago medical community quickly grows outrage that 283 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: one among them is rumored to be doing this. One 284 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: of their number would dare to perform such immoral, unethical 285 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: and medical unsound surgeries, as they might say down in Texas. Now, 286 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: to do this in the name of medical advances is 287 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: an affront to all of them. So some doctors stepped 288 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: forward and they swear to the terrified citizens of Chicago 289 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: that they would help find this mad doctor who was 290 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: out snatching Cojones and the Buffalo Morning Express story that 291 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: I will note it said, and I quote, the medical 292 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: profession of the entire city as united to hunt out 293 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: the surgeon who operated on Wasniak, and we'll drive him 294 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: from the city if found. So people are rallying to 295 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: protect these boys, you know, futures. Now, as I told you, 296 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 1: there's a lot of money to be be made, and 297 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: now we're getting a whole city fired up. Yeah, to 298 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: make your your metaphorical sack feel a little more protected 299 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: that so many people are worried about. Okay, well break, Elizabeth. 300 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: I will be back to tell you about how this 301 00:16:45,720 --> 00:17:09,919 Speaker 1: story gets even more unhinged. I can't wait now, Elizabeth. 302 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: Last we left our story, I had you imagining white 303 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,399 Speaker 1: lab coated doctors roaming the streets as a vigilante squad 304 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: trying to hunt out the mad doctor who was snipping testicles. 305 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,919 Speaker 1: And I have to tell you that, unfortunately the doctors 306 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 1: were not successful. Theories then had to abound in the city. 307 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 1: If the doctors can't find this guy, who will save 308 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: us from the midnight nuts snatchers. According to contemporaneous reporting 309 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: from the Beckham County Democrat of Eric, Oklahoma, the Chicago 310 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: police were left working with two primary theories. Their thought was, 311 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 1: and I quote, the operations have been performed through revenge, 312 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 1: so they thought maybe this was a personal issue right now. 313 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: The second theory was and I quote, the life giving 314 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: glands had been taken by some physician to rejuvenate the 315 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 1: waning vitality of some aged wealthy man. Now we keep 316 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: talking about the revenge theory. That's an easiest enough angle 317 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 1: to dismiss, because once it happens, and it happens, and 318 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: it happens, it keeps happening. We have more and more victims. Obviously, 319 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,120 Speaker 1: they're this person has not been wrong by so many 320 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,119 Speaker 1: people that they're going out just snatching nuts to get 321 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 1: back at the City of Chicago. So or or they're 322 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,880 Speaker 1: trying to like build a choir. It's just all castrati, 323 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: just some mad Catholic out there's big strap and Castrati. 324 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: The most popular theory was that this Dr Frankenstein cutting 325 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 1: edge science experiments were being performed by some Boddy who 326 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: was working for the Peter Field of the nineteen twenties. Right, 327 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,479 Speaker 1: some rich guys go on, give me the nuts, right, 328 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: But he's like drinking the juice of them, and please 329 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: my lemon of the juice runs down my leg exactly. 330 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: And then he takes a little tipple out of a 331 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:54,840 Speaker 1: shock bass and then he's like in a Mr. Burns like, 332 00:18:55,040 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: now I can lift two oranges. I I'm so virile, Elizabeth. 333 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: We've we've gotten to the central question, which is how 334 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: would balls rejuvenate the vitality of some rich old man. 335 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: Well I just told you je Well he just like 336 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 1: see do they use them like hard candies? So just 337 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:23,239 Speaker 1: you know, suck sucking around, just tucking nut underneath your 338 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: cheek and it's like, you know, like in the olden 339 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,119 Speaker 1: times and they're like, oh, how would you like a 340 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 1: sugared plum? And then a little Victorian boys, that was delightful, 341 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 1: and then I'm just going to save her this that's like, yeah, 342 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,520 Speaker 1: he's this old dude. It's just got another guy's nut 343 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: in his mouth all day, sucking moment, you know, like 344 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 1: chaw Sadly, I don't look at me like that was 345 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: not the case. Actually they were not us, but there was, 346 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: and I know you will be proud of this as 347 00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: a French woman or a woman of French derivation. There 348 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: was a Frenchman behind and all of this. His name 349 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:07,240 Speaker 1: was Charles Edward Ronald. Now he was essentially the man 350 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: responsible for all this ball snatching crime in Chicago in 351 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: the twenties, but he had been dead for two decades 352 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 1: before it started, so he was not technically directly responsible. 353 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: So he's like a zombie going around this just gets 354 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: crazy ball delicious balls. Charles Edward Browns Cickard. He was 355 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 1: a French physiologist, and he was motivated by the radical 356 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: belief that he had that and I quote, semen is 357 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: the key to eternal youth. Seemen he was and I 358 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: don't mean like sailors, I mean semen. He believed that 359 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,359 Speaker 1: how much sperm a man had in his body determined 360 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 1: how old he felt. The more s the younger the man. Right. 361 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 1: So what was his answer, Well, I just need to 362 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:53,800 Speaker 1: put mora sperments. That's sex. So that was his idea. 363 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,720 Speaker 1: And Elizabeth, you're a doctor who was convinced that inserting 364 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,160 Speaker 1: semen into your balls will restore your youth. And you're 365 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: also man, what do you Brown? Dr? Brown say, card 366 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: that did the next he goes? What does he go 367 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 1: out and experiments? He did look ever any other lunatic 368 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: in his position would do. He started to inject himself 369 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 1: with the semen. He mixed up a cocktail of semen 370 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 1: and blood and a quote juice extracted from the testicles 371 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: of dogs and guinea pigs. So there's your baal juice 372 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: you wanted. Okay, So he's got dog ball juice, blood 373 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 1: and semen is dog semen juice. I don't know what 374 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: that calls you, I don't know where is he getting 375 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: the semens? He taken donations from the neighborhood. I don't know. 376 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 1: Maybe this is just putting blood once again, disgusting slurry. 377 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: And then what he's injecting he ties off and he 378 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:54,120 Speaker 1: mainlines is dr Frankenstein nutsack mixed right into his sack 379 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: like testicle based heroin. He ties off and then they 380 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 1: find him slumped in the bathroom from apparently like But 381 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 1: then after he started to experiment himself, Dr Brown said Card. 382 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: He would tell anybody who would ask him, I am 383 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: so rejuvenated, ask me how. He would let everyone know 384 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: that the hot cream injection he had given himself was 385 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 1: apparently enough that he could now work longer, he could 386 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: focus more, and he had more general energy and vigor. 387 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: So I'm also, by the way, at the time, he 388 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 1: was seventy three years old, so that's when he was 389 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: jabbing and being a good scientist that he was. Dr 390 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,200 Speaker 1: Brown said Card. He publishes his results in the British 391 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: medical journal Lancet, which is like one of the biggest 392 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 1: in the world right now. The editors at the journal 393 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: they get the paper and they're like, oh, look at 394 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: that sir Winston, and then the paper goes like this. 395 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 1: It's like it's just a list like in step one, 396 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: get yourself a done. And then they're like, oh god, 397 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to read anything to get a vibe. No, no, no, 398 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,360 Speaker 1: stay with me on this. Do you have gloves. You're 399 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: gonna need gloves. Take him out to dinner, bring some bacon. 400 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,480 Speaker 1: So doctor Brown cit cards paper he gets published in 401 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: the Lancet, and then all of a sudden this legitimizes 402 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: his whole ball based medicine, and a bunch of other 403 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 1: people think conjecting semen into a man's balls is clearly 404 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: the fountain of youth. It's in the Lancet's. So we 405 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: get a bunch of quacks on either side of the 406 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: Atlantic to start imitating him, and they, you know, they 407 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,640 Speaker 1: go nuts for it. Part in the expression. Now, there 408 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: was this one dude, a Russian doctor named Sara Voronov 409 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: now Voronov. When he wasn't working in some basement laboratory 410 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,919 Speaker 1: in the Siberian castle, he was normally the lab director 411 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: of the College de France. So he's an international scientist. 412 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 1: He's not some cook in the distance. Now like many 413 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 1: other men with science degrees, serves. Voronov was very interested 414 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: in this alleged fountain of youth of male restoration. He 415 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: could you know, He's like, oh, I too would like 416 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,400 Speaker 1: to turn back the time. So instead of like going 417 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: with dog and guinea pig, ball juice and semen mix. 418 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 1: That's right, because the Frenchman used guinea pig and balls, 419 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,040 Speaker 1: dogs ball juice. Yeah. So it was like his voice 420 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:12,640 Speaker 1: goes way high because he's full of guinea pig. You know, 421 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: my secret is going to be closer to man. I'm 422 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: gonna go with chimpanzee balls. So well it is, you 423 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 1: know he's getting closer. Yeah, no, but you're probably wondering, 424 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: but Zarin, if a chimp's testicles work, well, what about 425 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 1: just using a man's balls? Great question, Elizabeth So University 426 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: of Illinois physician Dr Frank Litston. He took your thinking 427 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: and he ran with it. And he was like, I'm 428 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: taking the I'm taking this whole testicular rejuvenation science to 429 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 1: a whole another level. Watch the sun. Now he wasn't 430 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: satisfied with dogs, guinea pig balls, chimpanzee nuts. He went on. 431 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 1: He moved onto the most dangerous game man himself, and 432 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,639 Speaker 1: he grabbed him nuts and he harvested the balls of 433 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,359 Speaker 1: a dead man. Then he sliced open his own sack, 434 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 1: drop him in there. So did back up and then 435 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: uh boom, wait did he take his own out? More 436 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 1: in there, just drop into He's like one of those 437 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 1: he's like one of those trucks with matronly hips. He's 438 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: got truck nuts. But literally just in there. Now he 439 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: reports obviously because he is he scient is. He reports 440 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,880 Speaker 1: on the results of his experiment on himself. And then 441 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,400 Speaker 1: other people were like, oh, I'm doing this between Lidston 442 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,439 Speaker 1: and laurenov. Oh, man, I've got to get on this. 443 00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: So let's get back to Chicago nineteen two. You're ready, Yes, okay, 444 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:38,720 Speaker 1: let's get to the dark star of our story, the 445 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: Chicago pre eminent gland piracy transplant specialist, Dr VD les Bounce. 446 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: Now that was his name, Dr VD Lesponse. He was 447 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: Victor Darwin. Now. Starting in nineteen eleven, Dr VD he 448 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 1: developed his own techniques for adding a couple of extra 449 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,439 Speaker 1: nuts to a man sack. He bragged that one of 450 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: his testicle implant operations so successful that the patient almost 451 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: immediately afterwards popped to chubby and insisted he'd be allowed 452 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: to go check out of the hospital and road test 453 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 1: his new plumbing. There all these men are like waddling 454 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: around shipmunks, just cheeks full down down there better exactly, 455 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,120 Speaker 1: Like is that why they invented like hammer pans? Got 456 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:28,160 Speaker 1: like grape grape clusters just top nuts in the So. 457 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 1: So Dr VD is left pounds. He's in Chicago operating, 458 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 1: and so he becomes obviously a chief suspect in the 459 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:39,159 Speaker 1: testicle thievery that's going on. So the Chicago PD he 460 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 1: found that there was this one particularly strange coincidence. Often 461 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 1: in the days just before Dr la Pants performed on 462 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,760 Speaker 1: his media publicized testicle rejuvenation therapies, a young man of 463 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,120 Speaker 1: Chicago would be attacked to drugs and his balls would 464 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,399 Speaker 1: be harvested. I was like, wait a minute, we just 465 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 1: looked back at the newspaper. Is there like a two 466 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: day gap in boom? So the new Chicago PD is like, okay, 467 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: I think we were ready to roll on this one, 468 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: and then what happens. A second high profile victim of 469 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 1: ball nabbing comes forward. We have our next victim, Harry Johnson. 470 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 1: I swear to God his name is Harry Johnson. Stop 471 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 1: that Harry Johnson. He lived with his sister in Chicago, 472 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 1: and Harry Johnson and his sister, they were a good 473 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: family and they were just trying to get by in 474 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: nineties Chicago, and Mike Wasniak, the beat farmer. Johnson was 475 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: also in his early thirties, a big strapping fellow. And 476 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,120 Speaker 1: he also had no memory of his ball harvesting surgery. Yeah, 477 00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: he'd been on a day long bender, rude dude style, 478 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 1: and he thought he had passed out on his way 479 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: home and he'd just like wake up and then, you know, 480 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,560 Speaker 1: tuck onto the trolley and make it home. But instead 481 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 1: he wakes up. He's on a street car, but he's 482 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,639 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden he's in a doorway, and 483 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden there's a passer by standing 484 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 1: over him, and the passer by is like, oh, we 485 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: gotta get you to a hospital. So he goes to 486 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 1: blood blooming on his trousers. Pretty much. It was like 487 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: a big like Rorschach test in his in his crotch. Yeah, 488 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,159 Speaker 1: and so when he gets to the e er the 489 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,720 Speaker 1: docs say that quote that they noted the level of 490 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,880 Speaker 1: surgical skill required to exercise the man's testicles without severing 491 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 1: the testicular artery. So your question about how messy this was, 492 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 1: clearly a surgeon or somebody medically trained is doing this 493 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: because they're very careful not to hit the arteries. It 494 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 1: will start causing the person to possibly bleed out and die. 495 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,159 Speaker 1: So they're just like you know, harvesting poop poop and 496 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: making their way. And soon he suffers his ball heist 497 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:28,879 Speaker 1: in the summer in Chicago, coming in October. Because so 498 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 1: this his has happened first, and he'd waited months to 499 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,919 Speaker 1: come forward to the cops because he was so embarrassed 500 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,919 Speaker 1: he didn't want who admitted what had happened. I mean, 501 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: you have to admit, you know you do you want 502 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: to go to the cops who are dealing with al 503 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: Capone and being like, hey, guys, I got my ball 504 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 1: stolen that I doubt those guys are gonna be the 505 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: most sympathetic to you. But rather than you having to 506 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 1: imagine all this, Elizabeth, I'd like you to close your 507 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: eyes and you're going to actually live it. Yeah you are, 508 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: look close, and we're going to step inside a police 509 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,200 Speaker 1: precinct and hogo. The office is busy two days ago, 510 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,520 Speaker 1: a victim of testical theft came forward. It's been the 511 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: talk of your precinct ever since. Everybody has been mentioning 512 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 1: and chuckling about it. For them, the only way to 513 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 1: make sense of this is gallows humor. You've been involved, 514 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: You've made a couple of jokes of your own. Elizabeth, 515 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: You're a Chicago detective. You've seen it all, you've busted 516 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 1: them all, but you have no idea about what to 517 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,280 Speaker 1: do with this. So nope, you stroke your thick, resplendent mustache, 518 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 1: you rub your paunch, and you go, we gotta do 519 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 1: something for these boys. Now you have it. Readjust my 520 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 1: six balls. You know a taste drink case meats from 521 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: street corners. So you step outside, get yourself a hot dog, 522 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: and you think about how you can save these boys nuts. 523 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 1: Now you you're imagining like if someone tried to steal 524 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,560 Speaker 1: your nuts, you'd fight them off. But these boys, they're 525 00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 1: getting gas, so what can they even do? So Detective donton, 526 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 1: how are you gonna catch these ball burglars? Well, you 527 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,280 Speaker 1: get yourself phone down to the hospital to talk to 528 00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,880 Speaker 1: the most recent victim. And when you get to the hospital, 529 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: the r docs they tell you what they found. They 530 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 1: tell you it looks like the handiwork of a surgeon. 531 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: A doctor must be on these ball heist. Now you 532 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:04,240 Speaker 1: have a good lead at the hospital bed. The latest victim, 533 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 1: he tells you his name is Charles Reem. He says 534 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,000 Speaker 1: he was snatched off the street by two men in 535 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: a large touring car. He was chloroformed, taken to a 536 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 1: deserted prairie near N Street, where the operation was then performed. 537 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: You're writing all this kind in your notebook. Your captain, 538 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,600 Speaker 1: Captain Coughland, he arrives at the doorway. He calls you 539 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: over for a quick chat. You put away your notebook 540 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,560 Speaker 1: and walk over to your captain. He's got a tip 541 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: for you. There's a hot one, he says. It's about 542 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: who stole that young man's bass. The Captain Coughlin says 543 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 1: that the Chief of D's the chief of detectives. That is, 544 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,280 Speaker 1: he received a tip. The Chief of D says, there's 545 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: an elderly millionaire who just happened to be in town 546 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: for a testicular rejuvenation operation the day after Reem was 547 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 1: attacked in his balls swiped. So now you got a connection, 548 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: You got motive, You take your notebook out, and you're 549 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: take no more notes from Captain Coughlin as he lays 550 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,320 Speaker 1: the facts on you. Now, this millionaire, he's a candy 551 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: maker from St. Louis. His name is Henry Boo Richter. 552 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,840 Speaker 1: Now he paid a hundred grand advance and that was 553 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: a down payment to ensure the procurement of the necessary 554 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: go nets. Now you tell your captain you'll go run 555 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 1: this all past Dr less Pants because if you know 556 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna you, he to you is still the chief suspect. Now, yeah, 557 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: at his fancy luxury hotel. You crossed the Grand Lobby 558 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 1: because first you want to go speak to this St. 559 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 1: Louis candy maker before he talked to Dr v D. 560 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: And at the Grand Lobby you're walking across. People are 561 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: looking at you, wondering why Chicago detective is searching. But 562 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: you just take the elevator up, don't talk to anybody. 563 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,120 Speaker 1: At the door to a sweet knock, knock, knock. You 564 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,480 Speaker 1: wait a minute, door opens. Patient is up and around. 565 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 1: He looks good for someone who just had testicles and 566 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 1: started it into his nut sack in the air. High 567 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 1: kicks hicks. And he's David Lee Roth. He's a rich, older, 568 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: white haired man. He confirms that he is indeed the 569 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,560 Speaker 1: candy baron from St. Louis that you're looking for, Henry 570 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: bow Richter. Now I told you he is a white 571 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,520 Speaker 1: haired old man. He's forty eight years old. You tell 572 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,560 Speaker 1: him he looks far older. You're like, sir, I would 573 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 1: have guessed you to be a more senior man in 574 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: Now he tells you that he would never go to 575 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,640 Speaker 1: some slick black market doctor to get extra testicles. And 576 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: you're like, well, so you know Dr le Pants and 577 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 1: he was like, yes, Now who recommended you to the doctor? 578 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: And he tells you, oh, I was my doctor. St. 579 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: Louis recommended me. He told me, candy maker, you need 580 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 1: to get some more nuts in your sack. I know 581 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 1: the person for you. Now, bad director tells you he 582 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,960 Speaker 1: got his transplant on Thursday, which you note happens to 583 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: be the day after Charles Reen was chloroformed and attacked. 584 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: So bat Rector insists he does not have reems nuts 585 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,239 Speaker 1: in his sack, and you're like, well, how did you 586 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,040 Speaker 1: know that? Well, he says his doc back in St. 587 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 1: Louis recommended he gets the testicle transplant. He come to 588 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: Chicago to do it and battle rector insists that the 589 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,360 Speaker 1: nuts were not stolen. He knew, and if they were, 590 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: he knows nothing about it, he said. And what does 591 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: he have, like a certificate of provenance? He just says, 592 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: take his word for it, as a candy maker from St. Louis, 593 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 1: As a rich guy, he says, and I quote where 594 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: the gland to be transfused was to come from? I 595 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,640 Speaker 1: do not know. I went back to the hospital Tuesday 596 00:32:56,680 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 1: morning and rested until Wednesday afternoon. The operation was performed 597 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 1: and successful, according to my physician. So that's all he'll 598 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: tell you. So you ask how much did it cost? 599 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 1: He tells you I paid four hundred dollars. You're like, 600 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,680 Speaker 1: you've heard a hundred thousand dollars he's saying. Now, mind you, 601 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 1: that's about seven grand today. Your captain said, hunder grand. 602 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,480 Speaker 1: You know something is hanky. So you're like, I think 603 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: I need to go talk to this Dr v d 604 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 1: LA pants. Yes, bring me la pants. After this little break, Elizabeth, 605 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: I will take you to Dr vd La pants and 606 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,240 Speaker 1: we will sort out this testicular thievery. Yes we will, 607 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 1: all right, Elizabeth. Detective Dotton, you did such a damn 608 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: good job. I'm just gonna stick here for a second 609 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: while you go over and talk to Dr in the pants. 610 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 1: I'm really good at this. Imagine a man like Vincent 611 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 1: Price from like some nineteen fifties of like horror movie, 612 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:11,480 Speaker 1: but it can sleek Chicago skyscraper. That'll be our dr VD. Yeah, 613 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,759 Speaker 1: you're ready, Okay. So this dude's full of himself. He's 614 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:19,640 Speaker 1: he's very successful in his outward experience and clothing shows this. 615 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 1: And he when you go and meet him at his 616 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: at his home, he is so for himself. He immediately 617 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,319 Speaker 1: dismisses your questions and he tells you that I have 618 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 1: no need to buy stolen testicles please, And you're like, well, Doc, 619 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: well then where do you get your your stolen scenario? 620 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,680 Speaker 1: Tell the nuts that you transplant. And you know, the 621 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 1: Chicago press had already gotten to Dr v D and 622 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 1: asked him some questions, so you knew about these questions. 623 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,920 Speaker 1: And when they had asked him, they had flocked him 624 00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,879 Speaker 1: and they crowded around him and they've been going off 625 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:51,239 Speaker 1: and he Dr VDY told the press this, and you've 626 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,280 Speaker 1: read this in the newspapers, and I quote, it's foolish 627 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,320 Speaker 1: for the police to entertain suspicion that a reputable surgeon 628 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 1: would resort to theft in order to obtain glands for 629 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: transplantations in the first place, that is unnecessary. Four or 630 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,319 Speaker 1: five men a day present themselves at the doors of 631 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,960 Speaker 1: this hospital willing to sell their glands for really small 632 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 1: amounts of money, sometimes four or five dollars, and advertisement 633 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,239 Speaker 1: in the newspaper would bring a horde of them. So 634 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 1: these guys claiming that he's getting nuts for four or 635 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 1: five bucks a pop, and he doesn't need to worry. 636 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:28,560 Speaker 1: But all these men gripping five dollars and just like 637 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,240 Speaker 1: four or five minutes going, I'll take the five bucks. 638 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 1: Do get the knife. Now, I find that hard to 639 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,040 Speaker 1: believe as a man, as somebody who has imaginary nuts, 640 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,359 Speaker 1: what do you think I have? Also find that hard 641 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: to believe. It's just no way, it's way. So the 642 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:49,160 Speaker 1: Charles Realm testical investigation does not go well because Chicago PD, 643 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,880 Speaker 1: the Chicago vigilante doctors, none of the people who have 644 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,040 Speaker 1: thrown themselves at this case are able to get anybody 645 00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:59,840 Speaker 1: to have any concrete evidence that they have stolen nuts. 646 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,400 Speaker 1: They cannot prove a connection between the thieves and the 647 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,920 Speaker 1: doctor they cannot prove a connection between the doctor and 648 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,160 Speaker 1: the transplanted nuts, and they can't prove a connection between 649 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,360 Speaker 1: the transplanted nuts and the stolen ones. Everyone's up in 650 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: like basically a state of confusion and nutlessness. Now, Detective Ducton, 651 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,919 Speaker 1: has you worked this case? What were your suspicions about 652 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:26,840 Speaker 1: Dr v D? Do you think he's our man? I mean, yes, creepy, 653 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,359 Speaker 1: he's creepy. He's trying to convince me that guys are 654 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,840 Speaker 1: lining up to sell off their testicles for pennies on 655 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:37,239 Speaker 1: the doll I don't know. Apparently there is. I don't 656 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,440 Speaker 1: know if it's him or not, because there is a 657 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,799 Speaker 1: wave that continues of people having their nuts stolen, and 658 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:46,520 Speaker 1: the the particulars of those cases start to get further 659 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,360 Speaker 1: and further for him. For instance, there was a nineteen 660 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: year old named Anthony Taunsi. He tells police that three 661 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,879 Speaker 1: men in white lab coats accosta him, which is pretty 662 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 1: much what we've heard in all the other stories. The 663 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,879 Speaker 1: three men in lab coats tell the nineteen year old quote, 664 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 1: we need your glands, and then they attack him. But 665 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 1: this dude, big strapping man that he is, he fights 666 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,600 Speaker 1: back and he beats the three men off of him, 667 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,759 Speaker 1: and the strapping young man is able to scare off 668 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,280 Speaker 1: the three men from his nutsack and keep his family jewels, 669 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,359 Speaker 1: but sadly being one of the only few lucky ones, 670 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: they are all these other victims of the ball snatching 671 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,360 Speaker 1: wave that continues, and so we hear about more and 672 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 1: more to bye. In January down in Springfield, Illinois and 673 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: the Illinois legislature they put forth a bill to make 674 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,080 Speaker 1: it illegal to steal nuts and to transplant them. But 675 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:32,040 Speaker 1: there's already laws on the case, so it's not like 676 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,080 Speaker 1: we need a ball specific law. I think the guy 677 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 1: who said he fought him off is lying. He thinks 678 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,160 Speaker 1: so interesting honestly, Like you know, anytime these kind of 679 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: things happen, you get people who are a little imbalanced 680 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: and they'll come forward and it makes him sound like 681 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: I'm this big tough guy, and like what, there's three 682 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: men in a lab in lab coats. Well, that's not 683 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,239 Speaker 1: how they're gonna walk up and be like, all right, 684 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:58,279 Speaker 1: this is how it's gonna go down, nuts. It's gonna 685 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,879 Speaker 1: hurt a lot. No, they just are like putting their 686 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,600 Speaker 1: face from behind and then you know, down you go. 687 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:10,480 Speaker 1: They're not like, so I'm suspicious of him. Let's arrest 688 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,000 Speaker 1: him and see where it goes. Just follow us, you know, 689 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,800 Speaker 1: let him cool off for a bit. Well, Detective Dotton, 690 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,440 Speaker 1: your colleagues at the Chicago Pet they stay on the 691 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,000 Speaker 1: Charles Ream case because they think that's a good lead, 692 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,120 Speaker 1: and also are still trying to break the Joe wosne 693 00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,839 Speaker 1: At case, having no luck there. And they have all 694 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,560 Speaker 1: the other young men reporting white lab coated men or 695 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:33,040 Speaker 1: have been attacking them. They've got the University of Chicago 696 00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 1: kids are constantly saying I was attacked. I was attacked 697 00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:40,040 Speaker 1: right well. Finally, one year after his initial attack, cops 698 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,680 Speaker 1: arrest somebody in the Charles Ream case. They arrest his cousin, 699 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,840 Speaker 1: Earl English, who was a student at the University of Chicago. 700 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,719 Speaker 1: He becomes the primary suspect who is believed to be 701 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,640 Speaker 1: the one behind the ball theft. He gets charged with 702 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,880 Speaker 1: criminal mayhem, but the cops case is weak and the 703 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 1: charges eventually dropped. The cousin let go probably had a 704 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,439 Speaker 1: weird Thanksgiving that year at their house. A year later, 705 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,759 Speaker 1: Charles reims still out. They're trying to get justice for 706 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: his nutlessness, and he goes and he finds him his 707 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:12,920 Speaker 1: way into the pages of history as a footnote in 708 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 1: the Trial of the Century. In the June third edition 709 00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,120 Speaker 1: of the l A. Times, Charles rene shows up as 710 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,000 Speaker 1: a side show in the Trial of the Century because 711 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,520 Speaker 1: it was this trial. I'm not sure if you're if 712 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: you because there's a couple of trials of the century. 713 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,760 Speaker 1: This Trial of the Century involves two college students from Chicago, 714 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 1: both wealthy, brilliant young men, and they were named Leopold 715 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,880 Speaker 1: and Loebe, and they had killed somebody. So the l 716 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,640 Speaker 1: A Times recounted at the time, and I quote Charles Reene, 717 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,840 Speaker 1: twenty two years of age of seventeen, Dorchester Avenue. A 718 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,840 Speaker 1: taxi cab driver positively identified Lobe is one of the 719 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 1: two men who last fall kidnapped him at fifty four 720 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 1: Street and Dorchester Avenue, forced him into their automobile, and 721 00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,759 Speaker 1: drove him to a prairie at on ninth Street and 722 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 1: Avenue G where they performed a gland operation on him. 723 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,960 Speaker 1: He said that the other kidnapper looked like pictures of Leopold, 724 00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:04,080 Speaker 1: so he took danglers. Yes, exactly, get so. According to 725 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,760 Speaker 1: the contemporaneous accounts, Reem shows up in court, and he shouts, 726 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,399 Speaker 1: that's him, and he's like pointing at them, and people 727 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: were like, who's him, and Reem shouts back, that's the 728 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,520 Speaker 1: man who took my nuts, and people are like, for real, 729 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,439 Speaker 1: you're nuts brown, and he's like, yeah, man him, he's 730 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,360 Speaker 1: like and then he drops trial. And then this is 731 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,560 Speaker 1: an actual quote. He's like, he's the right size, he 732 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,319 Speaker 1: wore the same cud of clothes, and he has the 733 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:29,319 Speaker 1: same eyes, so he's identified him by the eyes. Unfortunately, 734 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,000 Speaker 1: the court didn't agree with Ream. They told him you 735 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:33,880 Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. We're trying these dudes on murder. 736 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,920 Speaker 1: Leopold and Loebe. The trial carries on, but then they 737 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,680 Speaker 1: eventually are brought forward in a civil case by Reem 738 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,759 Speaker 1: and he wants a hundred thousand dollars for his stolen nuts, 739 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,320 Speaker 1: and the Gland pirates are proad on trial and Leopold 740 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,560 Speaker 1: and Lobe are found innocent of that. So boom. So 741 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,520 Speaker 1: of all the multiple young men who had their ball 742 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:56,959 Speaker 1: stolen Reem, Harry Johnson, Wazniak, there are also many others 743 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:58,680 Speaker 1: who are the unfortunate who he did not get to 744 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,520 Speaker 1: their names. Out of all of these men, not a 745 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,480 Speaker 1: single man gets justice for his stolen balls. No one 746 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,960 Speaker 1: ever gets arrested, no charges are ever filed. The only 747 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,480 Speaker 1: thing that happened is that modern medicine just moves on. 748 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,319 Speaker 1: New therapies are found and developed. Patients with ball transplants, 749 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 1: they do not become avatars of vigor and manliness, so 750 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,759 Speaker 1: people stopped wanting to get ball transplants, and eventually the 751 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:24,880 Speaker 1: idea of testicular transplants did lead scientists to invent synthetic 752 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:32,560 Speaker 1: testosterone in Adolph Boutant. Boutendant as German Adolph Butendant was 753 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,160 Speaker 1: able to create create a fake testosterone from cholesterol and 754 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,200 Speaker 1: was awarded the Nobel Prize because I told you just 755 00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,479 Speaker 1: science loves balls. They're like, you made one Nobel Prize. 756 00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,160 Speaker 1: So the crime wave at the heart of today's tale 757 00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,440 Speaker 1: never gets solved, but modern medicine moves on because they 758 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,399 Speaker 1: get fake testosterone and they're like, that's good enough ball 759 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:56,120 Speaker 1: juice for us, And now they create testicle themes of Chicago. 760 00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,279 Speaker 1: They just they come and then they sort of fall 761 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,560 Speaker 1: away and left to history. Now, Elizabeth, I think it's 762 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,400 Speaker 1: much like disco. People were doing it and then suddenly, 763 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,879 Speaker 1: for reasons we don't fully understand suddenly no one's doing it, 764 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 1: which is also just kind of very human, you know. 765 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,640 Speaker 1: But the liquid disco and those super tight disco slacks 766 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,239 Speaker 1: in the case of the ball sacks of the young 767 00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:19,239 Speaker 1: men of Chicago, they were now safe. But you know, 768 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:23,520 Speaker 1: there's always like a disco resurgence. Yes, good point, Peter, 769 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,799 Speaker 1: things looking into that, So I bet you, I bet you, 770 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,680 Speaker 1: that's you know, people, the rich people who can do 771 00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:32,600 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff are freaking well. Yeah. And there 772 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,800 Speaker 1: has been, like, you know, a continued obsession with glands. 773 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,360 Speaker 1: There used to be a thing of yeah about adrenal glands. 774 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 1: People would take those out and chew on them, they 775 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 1: would harvest them from dead people. Then there obviously is 776 00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,800 Speaker 1: the pineal gland everyone at the seat of the soul, 777 00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,560 Speaker 1: but the gonads the testicles as a gland have it 778 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:50,959 Speaker 1: really kind of fallen off, and now it's just left 779 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,919 Speaker 1: to like, oh, we can give you a pill for that. 780 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,879 Speaker 1: So no one's out there. You know, maybe I think 781 00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:00,600 Speaker 1: you may be ahead of the curve. You heard it 782 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 1: here first, folks, you know, when they start seeing it 783 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:08,319 Speaker 1: like on Instagram of you know, go on, I want 784 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:13,480 Speaker 1: to see where you're going with this. I stopped myself. Well, Elizabeth, 785 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:16,920 Speaker 1: while we're here, what's your ridiculous takeaway from all this 786 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,480 Speaker 1: ball lessness? Uh? You know what, it was pretty interesting 787 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,040 Speaker 1: walking around sitting here in the studio pretending to have 788 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:27,160 Speaker 1: balls for an hour. So did to make you more 789 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:33,640 Speaker 1: sensitive to the plight of men? No? Well, my ridiculous 790 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,880 Speaker 1: takeaway once again, thank you for asking, Elizabeth is I 791 00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,880 Speaker 1: didn't I did not ask. You are an excellent detective, 792 00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:44,840 Speaker 1: but I worry about you as a philosopher. That's pretty 793 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,520 Speaker 1: That's that's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Well, I'm glad you 794 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,160 Speaker 1: enjoyed this one because it was fun to tell you 795 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:57,320 Speaker 1: all about your testicles and you thank you. Well. You 796 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,920 Speaker 1: can find us online Ridiculous Trume about Twitter and Instagram. 797 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,080 Speaker 1: Twit us for the discourse. Instagram that's where you put 798 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,120 Speaker 1: the stories. You can get the pictures of each of 799 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,880 Speaker 1: these wonderful people we talk about in all these crimes 800 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,799 Speaker 1: and Twitter that you can reach out and tweeted us. Also, 801 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,240 Speaker 1: we got sneak peaks at both emails if you want 802 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:18,120 Speaker 1: at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com. Thanks for listening. 803 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,520 Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Zaron Burnett. 804 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,280 Speaker 1: Produced and edited by Dr Frankenstein's Monsters DJ Dave Couston. 805 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,240 Speaker 1: Researches by Marissa leave Me Out of This One Brown 806 00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:38,120 Speaker 1: and Andrea What She Said songs sharpened. Our theme song 807 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,799 Speaker 1: is by the good Doctors Thomas Majestic Lee and our 808 00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:44,840 Speaker 1: resident hernia specialist Travis All My surgery scars are cute 809 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,719 Speaker 1: as a Dutton. Executive producers are Ben how much for 810 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:51,200 Speaker 1: the Monkey Nuts Bowling and No y'all have any moose balls? 811 00:44:51,200 --> 00:45:04,239 Speaker 1: Brown sat More time we Dequeous Crime. Ridiculous Crime is 812 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. Four more podcasts to 813 00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,759 Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 814 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,640 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.