1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,760 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: two case story Time podcast hosts, and we have some 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: ancient wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want 4 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: to hear the wisdom from two old heads that will 5 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 1: know more than they know what to do with, you're 6 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: gonna have to wait for a quick message from our 7 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: sponsors for the next two minutes or so. 8 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 2: I want to move out, but my parents are preventing it. 9 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 3: You're trapping me in here. 10 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,759 Speaker 2: I twenty two female, am supposed to be moving out 11 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 2: of my parents' house at the end of this month. 12 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 2: This has been planned for a while, as my girlfriend, 13 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 2: twenty five female, is even flying in from out of 14 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 2: state to help me make the drive across several states. 15 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,240 Speaker 2: She already took time off work and bought the plane tickets, 16 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,840 Speaker 2: so it's not exactly something I can just reschedule without 17 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 2: it costing us both money. By the way, this comes 18 00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,639 Speaker 2: from Future Connection thirteen and if you want to spit 19 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime 20 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 2: separate it. I'm Sophia and I'm Angie, and Opie says 21 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 2: this past week, I've been back at my parents' place 22 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 2: taking care of the family dog and driving my brother 23 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 2: nineteen mail to work because my parents went on a cruise. 24 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 2: They asked me to fly home early from my new place, 25 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,040 Speaker 2: specifically so I could help with that. I don't mind, 26 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 2: as I needed to pack up the rest of my 27 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 2: stuff and say goodbye to my friends. Anyway, they get 28 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 2: back tonight, But this morning my mom texts me saying 29 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 2: they forgot they had another vacation at a resort a 30 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 2: couple of towns over booked for later this month. 31 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 3: What oh, forget you have a vacation plan? 32 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: We forgot? 33 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 3: How often do you go on vacations to forget? 34 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 2: Get a lot? Apparently it was planned six months ago 35 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 2: and it just happens to start the day before I'm 36 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,560 Speaker 2: supposed to move out. I reminded her that I'm leaving 37 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,199 Speaker 2: the next day and my girlfriend already has purchased her ticket. 38 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 2: When I asked if it was supposed to be a 39 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 2: family thing or another couple's trip, she avoided the question 40 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 2: and just said, hmm, they figure something out. I have 41 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 2: a hard time believing that this trip was forgotten about. 42 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 2: My parents are comfortable financially, but we are not in 43 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: a tax bracket where we can easily go on two 44 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 2: trips in one month. My mom is so tight with 45 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 2: money she won't even let the run in all parts 46 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 2: of the house during the summer to avoid higher electricity bill. 47 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,639 Speaker 2: It just feels very convenient. I'm still planning to move 48 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 2: out as scheduled. 49 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 4: I feel like I've. 50 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 2: Already done enough, flew back early, helped out with a dog, 51 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,679 Speaker 2: and drove my brother around. I don't think it's fair 52 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 2: to expect me to delay everything again just because they 53 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 2: didn't plan ahead. They're going to have to figure out 54 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 2: the dog and my brother's rides to work without me 55 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 2: if they're not planning on taking him or the dog along. However, 56 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 2: I feel incredibly guilty, and I worry they won't be 57 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 2: able to find a reliable dog sitter. So am I 58 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 2: the ale for still moving out even though it screws 59 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 2: with my parents' second vacation. No, if they forgot about it, 60 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 2: then they should cancel it. 61 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like I feel like the only 62 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 3: bad thing about it in your situation is that they 63 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 3: can't help you move out. 64 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's what I would be annoyed about. 65 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 3: Absolutely, But I mean, you should definitely still still go 66 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 3: still move out, move out. 67 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 4: Get out of there. 68 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 2: I mean, like if they didn't have a plan for 69 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 2: taking care of their dog or their son, then have Yeah, yeah. 70 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 3: Maybe I can't go on a vacation, right maybe like 71 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,839 Speaker 3: warn them, like hey, like this is still happening, so yeah, 72 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 3: you gotta. 73 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 2: Jump figure Some comment one says, not the a hole. 74 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 2: You made your plans. You let them know your plans, 75 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 2: move as scheduled. It is their house, their dog, and 76 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 2: their other adult child they have to figure things out for. 77 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 2: Is there a reason why your brother is unable to 78 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 2: take care of the dog and get himself to work. Oh, 79 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 2: he says. My brother currently does not have a driver's license, 80 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: and because he works most is the week, my mother 81 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 2: prefers someone to be at home with the dog so 82 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 2: she's not alone for extended periods of time. She's a 83 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: sweet girl, but has awful separation anxiety. She's very bonded 84 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 2: to me, so my mother has tried to leverage that 85 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 2: against me when I flew home early last week. I've 86 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: been bending to my mom for my entire life, and 87 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 2: making my own choices and sticking by them is something 88 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,559 Speaker 2: I'm struggling with, but I feel as if my independence 89 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 2: is way more important comment to your mom has clearly 90 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: gone out of her way to make your brother and 91 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 2: the poor dog dependent on her. Not allowing your brother 92 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 2: to get a license he can go and do that 93 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 2: all by himself now, or getting the dog trained, or 94 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 2: finding other ways to relieve its anxiety. She's trying to 95 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 2: use guilt to manipulate you. And OP responds, there's a 96 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 2: lot of history with my mom that's hard to fully 97 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: explain in just one post or a few comments, but 98 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 2: I completely agree moving out is absolutely the right decision 99 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 2: for me. I'm genuinely excited to start building a life 100 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,839 Speaker 2: where I'm not constantly under her scrutiny. My brother was 101 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 2: diagnosed with ADHD pretty young, and because of that, he's 102 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,679 Speaker 2: been heavily coddled and kind of kept in this bubble. 103 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,919 Speaker 2: It's made living at home a uniquely stressful experience, to 104 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 2: say the least. I really appreciate everyone's perspective here. I 105 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:36,920 Speaker 2: know I need to let go of the guilt around 106 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 2: setting boundaries and telling my parents no. It's a work 107 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:44,720 Speaker 2: in progress, but it's very refreshing to know I'm making 108 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:49,040 Speaker 2: the right decision and reply. ADHD alone does not require 109 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 2: bubble wrap and coddling. 110 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 4: Is never good. 111 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 2: Your brother is going to depend on your parents for everything, 112 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 2: and when they're tired of it no longer can, they'll 113 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: expect you to take over. Be prepared. In comment three 114 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:05,719 Speaker 2: dog sitters exist. This is your parents' responsibility to figure out. 115 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 2: And there is an update. But yeah, I agree with 116 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 2: those commenters. 117 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, me too. You're just dousing what she told them 118 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 3: you do. They're doing what they said that they would 119 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 3: do too, So if they have a problem with what 120 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 3: they're doing, then they can figure that out. There. 121 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 2: They gotta figure it out. That's how it goes when 122 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 2: you have a. 123 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 3: Pet and a child. 124 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 2: Update. There were a couple things I forgot to mention 125 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,479 Speaker 2: in the original post or ended up explaining in the 126 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 2: comments that I'll add here for context. My brother does 127 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 2: not have a disability that prevents him from driving. He 128 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 2: just doesn't have his license right now, but that's mostly 129 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 2: due to our mom. She refuses to let him take 130 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 2: the test until she feels he's ready. He's nineteen. 131 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 3: That's wild. I feel like the only times you can 132 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 3: do that is like in elementary school, when you don't 133 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 3: think that they're ready to move from kindergarten to first 134 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 3: grade yet. 135 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 2: Also, the point of the test is to figure out 136 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 2: if he's ready. 137 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, so, like, what do we need a pre test? Yeah, 138 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 3: we don't need his mom's mission, we need like the laws. 139 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 2: However, he is currently in driving school, mostly thanks to 140 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 2: my dad pushing for it. As for the update, my 141 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: parents came home from their crews yesterday. They were understandably 142 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 2: tired from a long day of travel, but Mom came 143 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 2: home already upset. She started criticizing things around the house, 144 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 2: the floor, the sink, the counter is, saying they were 145 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,919 Speaker 2: disgusting and getting annoyed that her adult children had not 146 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 2: made the house spotless for her. I had spent most 147 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 2: of the last two days cleaning in general, I'll keep 148 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 2: trying to diminish an intense reaction, even cleaning the sheets 149 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,040 Speaker 2: in their bedroom because of the amount of dog fur. 150 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 2: While they were gone, my brother had been trying out 151 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: cooking for the first time, something Mom usually doesn't let 152 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,679 Speaker 2: us do when she's home since she considers the kitchen 153 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 2: completely hers. What is this lady's problem? You're not allowed 154 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 2: to cook in the kitchen. She just doesn't want you 155 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 2: guys to become adults. 156 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,039 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's crazy, I think so. 157 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 2: His cooking wasn't really the problem, but he's not great 158 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 2: at cleaning up after himself, which didn't help and really 159 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 2: just created more work for me, especially because he didn't 160 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 2: feel like he had to help clean. I figured she 161 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,920 Speaker 2: was just in a mood and decided not to engage, 162 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 2: which is usually the best approach with her. This morning, 163 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: she asked if I wanted to run some arrance with 164 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 2: her because she wanted to spend some time together. I 165 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 2: said sure, thinking things had calm down while we were out. 166 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 2: She brought up my move again. She asked if there 167 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 2: was any way she could convince me to stay, even 168 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 2: offering to help pay for college if I didn't go. 169 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 4: Through with it. 170 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 2: I told her I was still planning to move and 171 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 2: that wasn't gonna chain. This led into a long argument 172 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 2: where she tried to discourage me with a list of arguments, 173 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 2: saying I wasn't officially on the lease yet that once 174 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 2: I moved, I was one argument with my girlfriend from 175 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 2: getting punted out, that I might end up stuck with 176 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 2: the lease I can't afford or even ruin my credit. 177 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 2: She also said I was playing pretend at being an 178 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 2: adult and shouldn't expect her or dad to be a 179 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 2: fallback plan. Later in the day, I brought up the 180 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 2: second vacation. She mentioned, the one she originally said would 181 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 2: start the day before I was supposed to move, which 182 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 2: would have caused a conflict. I asked what the plan 183 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 2: was for the dog and getting my brother to work 184 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 2: while I was gone, and was ready to suggest uber 185 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 2: like someone in the comments of my last post had mentioned. 186 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 2: Mom just looked at me and said, there wasn't a 187 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 2: conflict anymore. The trip is apparently after I leave. M interesting. 188 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 3: How interesting? 189 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 2: Did you get the dates wrong? 190 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 3: Huhh? 191 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 2: When I pointed out that she'd said the opposite the 192 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 2: day before, she brushed it off and said she must 193 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 2: have made a mistake. So I guess that conflict was 194 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 2: never really real to begin with. 195 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 4: Do you have any final thoughts? 196 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 3: I just there's obviously some sort of like fear of 197 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,560 Speaker 3: being an empty nester or something like that going on here. 198 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 3: She didn't want you to move, so she said, oh, 199 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 3: I forgot the date, and then the next day, Oh, 200 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 3: the dates are actually fine, not a problem at all. 201 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I don't know what she Yeah, it's 202 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 2: it seems like she's trying to create a lot of 203 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 2: problems for you and has done that kind of for 204 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: your whole life. 205 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, so so good thing that they're there to help 206 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 3: you move out and get out of there. 207 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 2: You'll be like, oh, perfect, well I think op, you might. 208 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 3: Have to fly so oh I've missed that. 209 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, but card B. 210 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 2: Either way, you're going to be a movin out. You're 211 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,560 Speaker 2: gonna have your own rules and a kitchen that you 212 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 2: can actually use, so dick the winds right at this point, 213 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 2: I'm just trying to keep things low key until I 214 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 2: move out. I don't want to start more arguments or 215 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 2: totally burn the bridge right before I leave. But it's 216 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 2: definitely exhausting. I don't think this will be the last 217 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,199 Speaker 2: time she tries to get me to stay or throws 218 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 2: something else at me. I know I could have put 219 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,200 Speaker 2: more effort into cleaning, and maybe I'm just needlessly complaining 220 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 2: to the internet, but it feels good to get it out. 221 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 2: I'd move out sooner if I could, but with my 222 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 2: girlfriend's schedule and the plane ticket already booked, it's not realistic. 223 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 2: If anyone has tips for handling the final stretch of 224 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,439 Speaker 2: living with a parent like this, I'd really appreciate it. 225 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 2: Or if you've gone through something similar, I'd love to 226 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 2: hear how you managed it. And common one says, if 227 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 2: you haven't already secured your important documents, get them and 228 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 2: make sure she can't tamper with anything. She's losing control 229 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 2: and is not done with her plan to stop you, 230 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 2: reply says, and freeze your credit with all free credit 231 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 2: bureaus op. It is free and pretty easy. If you 232 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 2: have questions, there's other subreddit that is a great resource. 233 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 3: My father cuts pestering customer support agents and I. 234 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 4: Don't know what to do. 235 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 3: Leave them alone. My thirty mail father sixty eight mail 236 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 3: is a retired CEO. In the past five years or so, 237 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,319 Speaker 3: he's gotten into this bizarre habit of calling various customer 238 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,680 Speaker 3: support departments when he runs into the slightest issue relating 239 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 3: to any product services that he owned. He seemingly takes 240 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 3: pride in threatening to file numerous complaints against any minimum 241 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 3: wage employee that he's talking to. The very first thing 242 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 3: that he always gets when he makes a call is 243 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,319 Speaker 3: the person's name and ID number, and then he reminds 244 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,959 Speaker 3: them that he's written down that info and then it's 245 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 3: all on record. By the way, this comes from Boom 246 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 3: or Dad going crazy And if you want to submit 247 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime 248 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 3: subreddit and I'm Angie, I'm Sophia, and Opie says for 249 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 3: an example, he recently came back from a month long 250 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 3: international vacation and found out that he was charged one 251 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 3: hundred ten dollars for the international data roaming. This is 252 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 3: the second time that this has happened, and after the 253 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 3: first time, his cell phone provider canceled roaming charges even 254 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 3: though he left international data roaming on his phone. The 255 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,199 Speaker 3: customer service rep clearly explained to him how to change 256 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 3: the settings on his phone to avoid future charges, and 257 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 3: even emailed him instructions, but he never bothered. So the 258 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,320 Speaker 3: second time it happens, he calls and is furious that 259 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 3: it's happening again. He starts yelling at the poor customer 260 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 3: service agent as if she was responsible for the initial 261 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 3: time that it happened as well as the second time 262 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 3: it happened. He demands that the fee be canceled, and 263 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 3: when she asks her supervisor, the supervisor refuses to reverse 264 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 3: the charges because my father already had a fee cancelation 265 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 3: regarding international roaming and was clearly told how to turn 266 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:45,439 Speaker 3: that feature off on his phone, and honestly, if he had. 267 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: Done that nicely, he might have been able to get 268 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:51,080 Speaker 2: both these off. Honestly might have people give you lots 269 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,719 Speaker 2: of stuff if you're nice, right. 270 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 3: This single issue went on for four days of three 271 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 3: plus hour calls, each time involving him brating a new 272 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 3: customer service. Finally, he decides to cancel his phone plan 273 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 3: and go with a new provider, despite the new provider 274 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,079 Speaker 3: having literally the exact same policy and his phone still 275 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 3: being set to international data roaming. Example number two. He 276 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 3: uses Internet Explorer and never updates his laptop, so lately 277 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 3: he's run into issues accessing his own bank account. The 278 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 3: customer service rep asked him to use Google Chrome or Firefox, 279 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 3: both of which are installed on his laptop. Instead of 280 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 3: trying either browser, he just lies to the customer service 281 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 3: rep and claims that he's tried it on both browsers 282 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 3: and that it still isn't working, while the entire time 283 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 3: he's still using Internet Explorer. I tried to politely point 284 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,680 Speaker 3: this out, but he just waved me off, saying, you 285 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 3: just think you know everything, don't you. He's used chrumb before. 286 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 3: And he's used Firefox before. But I swear it's like 287 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 3: he's being willfully ignorant just so that he can have 288 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 3: an excuse to rant at some poor person making minimum wage. 289 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 2: That's probably how he gets all of his anger out. 290 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 2: He's like, Oh, I'm feeling too good today. 291 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. This issue in particular has been going on for 292 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 3: the last one to two with him calling his bank 293 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 3: and ranting in a new employee every day. All this time, 294 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 3: he's still refused to use Chrome or Firefox and continues 295 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 3: to lie about it to employees who are just trying 296 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 3: to be helpful. Example number three, he recently got a 297 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 3: flyer in the mail from his Internet service provider's ISP 298 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 3: competition promoting a deal that is forty dollars a month 299 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 3: cheaper than what he currently pays and significantly faster too. 300 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,439 Speaker 3: So he calls up his ISP and starts b rating 301 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 3: the customer service agent for deceiving me all this time 302 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 3: when there has been a cheaper and faster alternative, as 303 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:34,000 Speaker 3: if that customer service agent in specific had some elaborate 304 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 3: plan to scam my father. So the agent says that 305 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 3: the best he can do is offer a new plan 306 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,440 Speaker 3: that is still ten dollars a month more than the 307 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 3: competition and only ninety percent as fast, quite clearly explaining 308 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 3: that he's not allowed to offer anything cheaper or faster 309 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 3: than that. My dad doesn't believe him and gets the 310 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 3: supervisor on the line, who says the exact same thing. 311 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 3: So now he's in the process of switching ISPs, and 312 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 3: he's made multiple complaints to the original ISP, calling up 313 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 3: the customer service agents that he talked to, blaming them 314 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 3: as the reason why he switched companies. My concern is 315 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 3: that he's seemingly doing this because he gets some sick 316 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 3: pleasure in berating these people when it's so blatantly obvious 317 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 3: that they have dang near no control over corporate policies. Worse, 318 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,200 Speaker 3: he's being deliberately obtused just to draw out these calls 319 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 3: far longer than they need to be, as if it's 320 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 3: some pastimes of his to f with customer service agents. Now, 321 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 3: I know what you're thinking, tired guy spending three plus 322 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 3: hours a day ranting at customer service agents. He's probably 323 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 3: just lonely. The thing is, he's got a huge social 324 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 3: circle and goes out golfing literally every single weekday, not 325 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 3: exaggerating He's a member of several private golf and country clubs, 326 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 3: he goes out for dinner events, travels internationally frequently with 327 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 3: his friends, and so on. So what the heck is 328 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 3: up with this weird pastime of just berating customer service 329 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 3: agents for three hours a day? Anyway, I'm not sure 330 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 3: what else to say, but like, is he losing his 331 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 3: mind or what? Him and his friends love to share 332 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 3: their stories about how they call customers his lines they 333 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 3: all do, ranting about how stupid or corrupt all of 334 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 3: the customer service agents are. Like, He'll have friends over 335 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 3: and they'll seriously spend hours sharing stories about how they 336 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,479 Speaker 3: called this company in that company, ranting about stupid millennials 337 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 3: and such. Are they all losing their minds? Sorry if 338 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 3: this post is kind of weird for the subreddit, but like, 339 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 3: I don't really know who else to talk to about 340 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 3: this because it's such an insane and embarrassingly stupid thing 341 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 3: to bring up. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I 342 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 3: feel so effing bad for all of these employees because 343 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 3: I spent a lot of years working in customer service 344 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 3: making minimum wage, trying to pay for school, rent or food, 345 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 3: and most of my friends have as well, dealing with 346 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 3: so many ahole boomer customers, and it just makes me 347 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 3: sick that him and his friends have basically turned berating 348 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 3: minimum wage employees into some sick pastime of theirs. Is 349 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 3: he losing his mind? 350 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 2: I honestly don't know how you would stop this. Yeah, 351 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 2: I don't know either, Like because they're old. They're old, 352 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 2: and they're set in their ways, and maybe you could 353 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 2: have a conversation, sit them down and be like, hey, dad, 354 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 2: I feel like you're your stress levels go up when 355 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 2: you have these conversations. Yeah, maybe we shouldn't, you know, 356 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 2: not do that right? Like like what do you think? 357 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 2: Like what do you think the problem is? It's like 358 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 2: if these guys are giving you answers for your problems, 359 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,080 Speaker 2: it's things that are out of their control. 360 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 3: Like what do you expect to have happened? 361 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,880 Speaker 2: Like if you don't actually follow any of the advice, right, 362 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 2: what's the point. 363 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 3: Because that's how it works? And like did this happen 364 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 3: in his company that he was CEO of it all? 365 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 4: You know? 366 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 2: Like was he as asking the underlings. 367 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 3: Well that or Like I'm thinking like did stupid people 368 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 3: ever complain about his posts? Like he probably didn't have 369 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 3: to deal with any of that if he's CEO. But 370 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 3: still it's like, let's try to like understand you, let's 371 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 3: try to fix you. 372 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,359 Speaker 2: Yea compassion. 373 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 3: But there's a little bit more to the story, So 374 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,120 Speaker 3: edits before anyone asks why I haven't bothered trying to 375 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 3: help my father with his various tech related issues. I 376 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 3: have in the past, but I stopped after we gotten 377 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 3: a huge argument because he continuously refuses to follow my 378 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 3: advice about things like updating his anti virus software and 379 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 3: doing backups. One day, his laptop crashed and he inexplicitly 380 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 3: blamed it on me, claiming that it was probably from 381 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 3: something that I installed on there. Of course, he had 382 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,359 Speaker 3: no backups of any of his financial documents, so he 383 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 3: was furious. So at that point I just told him 384 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 3: that I cannot continue to help him, even on a 385 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 3: minimal level when it comes to tech related problems. I'm 386 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 3: an IT admin and love helping friends or family out 387 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 3: with their computer problems, but my father is literally the 388 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,920 Speaker 3: only person I've ever outright refused to help anymore because 389 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 3: of how ungrateful and accusatory he is. There are some comments, 390 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 3: but yeah, that is exhausting. 391 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:43,399 Speaker 2: So he started you first, yeah FIRTI, and then literally 392 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,480 Speaker 2: gave up and now he's finding random victims. 393 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,640 Speaker 3: Blaming everyone for his problems, dude, because that's difficult because 394 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 3: it's like older people already have a hard time with technology. 395 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 3: But if he is literally like, you know, there's nothing 396 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 3: I could do about it. This is just all the 397 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 3: other people can do things. I don't know anything. It's 398 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 3: like you don't you don't know anything. 399 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 4: You know, people, thank. 400 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 3: You coming Number one says. He's probably mentioned on the 401 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 3: subreddit Tales from Call Centers, and Opie says, man, sometimes 402 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 3: I've gotten out of my way to email the various 403 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 3: companies he's tried to get employees fired from, just so 404 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 3: I can explain that the agent he talked to I 405 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 3: always make sure to copy their name and employee ID 406 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 3: from his notes did nothing wrong. It's so gosh dang embarrassing. 407 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 2: So Opie's going behind him and like sweeping up all 408 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,679 Speaker 2: of the mess. 409 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 3: Literally literally, it's so embarrassing and infuriating because I've worked 410 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 3: those kind of jobs, and the most sole sucking part 411 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 3: of it was never the work itself, but just the 412 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 3: interactions with customers who treat you like dirt. My dad 413 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,840 Speaker 3: worked as a garbage man in his twenties and that 414 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 3: was enough to pay for an undergraduate master's and PhD. 415 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,679 Speaker 3: The first real job he landed paid one twenty k 416 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 3: in the early nineties, and he was still a relatively 417 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 3: young man in his thirties, but he always loves to 418 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 3: bring up the fact that he worked as a garbage man. Therefore, 419 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,480 Speaker 3: no millennial customer service agent can complain when they have 420 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 3: a cushy desk job, conveniently leaving out the fact that 421 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 3: they're making a whopping fourteen dollars an hour or less 422 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:09,040 Speaker 3: if they're overseas like the Philippines. And it makes no 423 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,400 Speaker 3: sense whatsoever. Nop He responded to a deleted comment. Man, 424 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 3: I swear it really does feel like a collective breakdown. 425 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:17,679 Speaker 3: My father and all his friends are well educated people, 426 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 3: and they seem to be almost regressing into children having tantrums, 427 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 3: specifically when they're interacting with any millennials or gen Z 428 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,560 Speaker 3: people with an opinion, even if they're in agreement with 429 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 3: said opinion. I don't know what the av is going on. 430 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 3: It's like they've just become bullies, constantly looking for a 431 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 3: fight to pick with people who have zero interest in 432 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,359 Speaker 3: debating with them. Like he'll hear my brother and I 433 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 3: talking about how we don't like Pete Boutagegg and Bloomberg, 434 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 3: and he'll just interject and start ranting about how our 435 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 3: generation just doesn't get it when the conversation didn't involve 436 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 3: him at all. He'll rant about how money in politics 437 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 3: is screwing up everything, but then in the next sentence 438 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,119 Speaker 3: we'll talk about how there's nothing wrong with Bootajegg being 439 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 3: funded by billionaires, or how Bloomberg is effectively buying his 440 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,680 Speaker 3: way into the elections. Meanwhile, my brother and I want 441 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 3: nothing to do with debating him. It just makes no 442 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 3: sense at all. But that's the NDA story. 443 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,440 Speaker 2: It might just that is I that is funny though. Yeah, 444 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:16,239 Speaker 2: for this old man who's like so crotchety and like 445 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 2: I hate all customer service. Yeah, to like very liberal 446 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 2: politicians like blue h Yeah, it's like the billionaire one. 447 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,119 Speaker 2: That's that's you know, it makes sense kind of why 448 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 2: they're but like for him to be like bootage beat Boodhaj, Yeah, 449 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 2: you have to a very liberal politician, right, and that 450 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 2: is very different to what this man gives off. I 451 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 2: refuse to be involved with my stepsister, but my father 452 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 2: won't take my side. 453 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,399 Speaker 3: I just don't like her dad. 454 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 2: For some background context, I thirty two female, have been 455 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 2: trying to set boundaries, really just one, if I'm being 456 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,400 Speaker 2: honest with my dad fifty eight male, and family since 457 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,119 Speaker 2: returning from the military five years ago. Growing up, my 458 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 2: family never had boundaries. I don't think they really understood them, 459 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 2: and just always inserted themselves in other family members' business, 460 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 2: even when they weren't asked for their opinion. By the way, 461 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 2: this comes from Dnod's Ninja ninety three on the r slash. 462 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 2: Charlotte do Bray YouTube subpreated it, and if you want 463 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 2: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash 464 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 2: Okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Angie Haop says. 465 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 2: My dad got remarried to my stepmom when I was eight, 466 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 2: who also had a daughter a few months younger than me. 467 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,640 Speaker 2: The daughter and I didn't have the best relationship growing up. 468 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 2: She was one of my biggest bullies in school, constantly 469 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 2: using things I did in my free time against me 470 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,159 Speaker 2: and telling everyone in our class about it so they 471 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 2: would join in too. I never had a safe space 472 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 2: growing up I would try to tell my dad about it, 473 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 2: and he would tell me I was a liar, making 474 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 2: it up and I just wasn't adjusting to his marriage 475 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,320 Speaker 2: and a new sibling. This is where a lot of 476 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 2: my problems started. I didn't feel safe talking to my 477 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 2: dad about things and would only speak up when I'd 478 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 2: hit my breaking point and come home crying about all 479 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 2: the bullying. Once I cried it out, I would go 480 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 2: back to being silent about everything that was happening at school. 481 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 2: This continued until high school, when my stepsister admitted to 482 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 2: everything I had been saying over the years. She only 483 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 2: admitted to it because I had transferred schools to get 484 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,959 Speaker 2: away from the bullying. She stayed and everyone in our 485 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 2: grade turned on her. No you, we pushed a pee away. 486 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 2: She was the one coming home crying about it. I 487 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 2: never got an apology from her or my dad about 488 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 2: any of this. Fast forward to twenty twenty, when I 489 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 2: finally get out of the military and am able to 490 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 2: see my family again after the whole did thing. That's 491 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 2: where things start falling apart. A brief timeline February twenty 492 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 2: twenty end of active duty military contract July twenty twenty 493 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,040 Speaker 2: finally see some family since returning home January twenty twenty one, 494 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 2: let her in the mail stating I missed a court date. 495 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,440 Speaker 2: Hold up court, What do you mean court? I never 496 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,840 Speaker 2: got a ticket. I barely drive anywhere. I call around 497 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 2: the courthouse, get a few different offices until I finally 498 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 2: get someone who can help me. I ask if she 499 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,400 Speaker 2: can explain what I missed and what the court date 500 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 2: was for, and she said, oh, well, all that information 501 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 2: should be on the ticket you received at the accident. 502 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 3: Uh me, accident? 503 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 2: What accident? 504 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 4: Her? 505 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,880 Speaker 2: You were the driver of insert vehicle here in July 506 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 2: last year? Correct me, No, I don't even own that 507 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 2: kind of vehicle, and I was in a pool at 508 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 2: my parents' house on the opposite side of town on 509 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 2: that date, so I wasn't even driving. She was confused 510 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,639 Speaker 2: and concerned, so she gave me the info of the 511 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 2: officer first on scene so I could contact him. 512 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 4: I did. 513 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 2: He asked me a series of questions and started naming 514 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 2: off different names of people, none of which I recognized 515 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 2: until he said my stepsister's name. I explained, I hadn't 516 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 2: seen her in years prior to me getting out of 517 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 2: the military, and we don't have the greatest relationship. Well, 518 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 2: long story short, her and her friends were driving around 519 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 2: hit another vehicle, lie to the cops, and she told 520 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 2: one of them to give my name as theirs as 521 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 2: the driver of the vehicle. Must was still equally upset 522 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 2: at the officer who just accepted that information blindly without 523 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,120 Speaker 2: ever checking if it was correct. Did they not check 524 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 2: her license? 525 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,880 Speaker 3: Yeah? I feel like if you crack should have someone's car, 526 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 3: you have to give your license to the police. 527 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,800 Speaker 2: Nice and registrations, and if you don't have those, it's 528 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,000 Speaker 2: pretty bad. 529 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 3: Right because that, like then what the officer just like 530 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,439 Speaker 3: typed in the name people's names. 531 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 2: I'm sorry if if a person doesn't have their license 532 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,440 Speaker 2: and registration and then goes. 533 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm I'm a huge Janice. Yeah, and they're like, well, 534 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:32,159 Speaker 5: they're like, that's right. Nice to me, you missed Janie. 535 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 4: You idiots. 536 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 2: To god, I would be so upset. I almost had 537 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 2: a warrant for my arrest because I had missed multiple 538 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 2: court hearings, but I was able to get all of 539 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 2: that withdrawn from my name after I spoke to the officer. 540 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 2: I almost went to jail because of her and her 541 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,760 Speaker 2: friend and that my friends is where all of this begins. 542 00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 2: I sat down with my dad after this and told 543 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 2: them very clearly that I wanted nothing to do with 544 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 2: her anymore. I don't want to see her, I don't 545 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 2: want to be around her, but I so no. She's 546 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 2: family to him and everyone else, so I'm not asking 547 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,640 Speaker 2: for anyone to pick sides. All I ask is if 548 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 2: she's going to be at a family gathering, let me 549 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 2: know and I'll arrive at a different time. He's set 550 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 2: up a schedule and that worked well, or I thought 551 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 2: it did for many years until Christmas of twenty twenty four. 552 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 2: My cousin, who was hosting Christmas that year, messaged me 553 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,400 Speaker 2: to inform me that she was going to be there 554 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,439 Speaker 2: as soon as everyone arrives and wanted me to know 555 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 2: because he knew why I was staying away. I told 556 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 2: him I was confused because as far as I heard 557 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,479 Speaker 2: from my dad, she was supposed to be showing up 558 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 2: later in the evening. But if she was going to 559 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,360 Speaker 2: be there, I would drop my gifts off to everyone, 560 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,160 Speaker 2: the hot cocoa I made for the night, and then leave. 561 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 2: I told him I wouldn't make a scene. Just be clear, 562 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,880 Speaker 2: I wasn't staying and then leave and come back later 563 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 2: for the crock Bot. I thanked him for letting me 564 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,200 Speaker 2: know and waited. My cousin had told me this shortly 565 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,720 Speaker 2: after Thanksgivings, so I waited to see if my dad 566 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,200 Speaker 2: would tell me. We had texted and called multiple times 567 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 2: leading up to this, and not once did he hint 568 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 2: she would be there earlier, or even just say. 569 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 4: Hey, she's actually going to be there. 570 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,679 Speaker 2: First instead or anything. Christmas comes, she's there and I 571 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 2: do exactly as I said I would, no drama, dropped 572 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,000 Speaker 2: everything off and left. My dad has since been complaining 573 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 2: about me ripping that family off art because I won't 574 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 2: forgive her or accept the apology she sent, which only 575 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 2: came after I said she hasn't once apologized for anything, 576 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,960 Speaker 2: and the written apology was basically along the lines of 577 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 2: sorry for what I did. I wasn't in the right 578 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 2: state of mind. I really did her friend ever get arrested? 579 00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 2: Did they ever figure out that cop get fired doing 580 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 2: his due diligence? 581 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 3: But I kind of feel like it's a fake story 582 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 3: just because of that, because it's to understake the freaking id. Yeah, 583 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 3: like someone who is I don't know, it doesn't drive 584 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 3: or something, but then they know all this stuff about 585 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 3: having a warrant go out for like but take it. 586 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it never felt genuine and more like it was 587 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 2: forced so my parents could try and have one big, 588 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 2: happy family. I've told my dad since the Christmas thing 589 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,240 Speaker 2: that he has chosen a side and I'm removing myself 590 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 2: from family gatherings to make it easier on him. Since then, 591 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 2: he's been complaining about me not seeing family. How me 592 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 2: not wanting to be around her is tearing the family apart, 593 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 2: and if I don't forgive her and make up a 594 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,840 Speaker 2: family will leave me bitter for the rest of my life. 595 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,080 Speaker 2: Since the last talk I had with my dad, still 596 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 2: arguing about this, I've been going back and forth on 597 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 2: if I should just cut contact permanently. I've tried no 598 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,679 Speaker 2: contact for six months and started doing dinners with my 599 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 2: dad to try and get him to understand my point, 600 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 2: why I'm hurt and why him dismissing my feelings on 601 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 2: this is extremely upsetting and he doesn't want to hear 602 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 2: any of it. He would rather me go back to 603 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 2: being the silent child I was growing up when I 604 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 2: didn't stand firm for myself. I'm getting so tired trying 605 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 2: to get him to understand my perspective on things. If anything, 606 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 2: it's only gotten worse. So would I be the ale 607 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 2: if I cut all contact with my dad? 608 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 3: I don't think you'd be the ale for cutting contact. No, 609 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,359 Speaker 3: I feel like that's what you need, then, that's what 610 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 3: you need. That's what you need. 611 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 4: Then. 612 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, they've consistently, you know, barreled past your boundaries. Yeah, 613 00:27:55,960 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 2: and you know, your sister literally almost got you arrested. Yeah, 614 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 2: your dad still stick here. 615 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 3: And the fact that her excuse is just like so's hart. 616 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 3: I was just like really foggy that day. 617 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 2: I was like I didn't even like, I don't know, 618 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:10,240 Speaker 2: I wasn't there. 619 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 3: It's like like my bad Yeah, I had like a 620 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 3: really bad headache that day. 621 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like what I think I told her like 622 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 2: another name, but I guess she heard that one. 623 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I don't know, I don't know. 624 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 2: Side note, I've already cut contact with my stepsister, but 625 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 2: anytime she sees me anywhere, I mean anywhere. She literally 626 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,400 Speaker 2: tried to corner me at my grandpa's viewing to try 627 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 2: and talk to me about it all. I'm just tired 628 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,400 Speaker 2: of the apologies and nothing changing and comments coming one says, 629 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,199 Speaker 2: not the a whole. If you go no contact with 630 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,640 Speaker 2: your dad, he wants you to be the silent teenager 631 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 2: you were, show him silence like he's never seen you 632 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 2: were his baby girl. He remarried and then made them 633 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 2: a priority over you. You were suddenly bottom tier and your 634 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 2: silence was your only way to cope with the dramatic 635 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 2: changes in drama in your life. Seriously, you do not 636 00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 2: need this in your life. You deserve to continue to 637 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 2: blossom and live your best life. Going no contact well 638 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 2: absolute remove any anxiety of notifications going off on your phone, 639 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 2: phone calls, obligated holidays and whatnot. If you're still wanting 640 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,280 Speaker 2: to enjoy holidays with your cousin, host a small gathering 641 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 2: yourself and invite only who you want. Take your life back. 642 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 2: Ohp says I luckily don't get any invites to family 643 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: gatherings anymore, which is perfect for me. I had to 644 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 2: scream at my dad in the middle of dinner a 645 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 2: month or so back for him to leave it be 646 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 2: at that. But I have tried to keep the dinners 647 00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,960 Speaker 2: going with him. But I absolutely dread going out every time. 648 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 2: I don't want to go anymore because I feel like 649 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 2: all I'm going to hear is either how I'm tearing 650 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 2: the family apart by not forgiving her, or he just 651 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 2: acts like nothing is wrong and all is going perfect 652 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 2: in his life. And that's the end of that story. 653 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 3: Folks, My boy, way, how exhausting. 654 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the no contact is the best move. Yeah, 655 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 2: And if they ever, you know, actually apologize in a 656 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 2: meaningful way, maybe you can, you know, preconsider, But for 657 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 2: the time being, it seems like they just don't understand 658 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 2: or are not willing to understand. 659 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 3: Definitely, you just all you can control is yourself, unfortunately 660 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 3: in this situation, So just try to save your piece, 661 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 3: however that needs to happen. 662 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: John, Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, 663 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors. 664 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,000 Speaker 6: My friend's girlfriend accused me of stealing him because she 665 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 6: didn't know I was straight. 666 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 7: This story sounds like it's gonna have a lot of 667 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 7: twists and turns. 668 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, So I just need to know if I 669 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 6: did something wrong, because everyone except two of my friends 670 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 6: think I'm in the wrong. I twenty three female met 671 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,640 Speaker 6: my three friends in my first year of university. Let's 672 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 6: call them Abby twenty four female, Ben twenty four male, 673 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 6: and Charles twenty five male. We were inseparable all four years, 674 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 6: and since we graduated just over two years ago, we've 675 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 6: met up once a month for dinner or some kind 676 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 6: of activity. And by the way, this story comes from 677 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 6: user alternative Rush twenty one ninety on the Dusty Thunder subreddit, 678 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 6: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 679 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,480 Speaker 6: to the r slash Okay storytime subredit. I'm Dakota, I'm Matt, 680 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,480 Speaker 6: and Ope says partners have always been included if they 681 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 6: want to. Abby was with her girlfriend for almost three years, 682 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 6: but they broke up three months ago, and Ben's girlfriends 683 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 6: never last longer. 684 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 4: Than two weeks, so he doesn't bring them around. 685 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,880 Speaker 6: However, about eight months ago, Charles started dating Danielle twenty 686 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 6: nine female. They met on a dating site and initially 687 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,560 Speaker 6: we thought she was nice, but that she seemed a 688 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 6: little old for our chronically immature friend. But they seemed 689 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 6: happy and she started joining our hangouts five months ago. Personally, 690 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,400 Speaker 6: I don't date much, so I've never brought anyone to 691 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,600 Speaker 6: our hangouts until Saturday night about four months ago. 692 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,160 Speaker 4: I started seeing Jamie twenty five male. 693 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 6: Jamie's real name is also a popular unisex name, and 694 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,480 Speaker 6: I decided I wanted him to meet my friends. So 695 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 6: after our dinner in July, I texted the group chat Me, Abby, Ben, 696 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 6: and Charles and asked if it would be cool if 697 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 6: my new boyfriend, Jamie could join us. Everyone was excited 698 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 6: and couldn't wait to meet him. Anyways, we went Saturday 699 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,920 Speaker 6: night and Jamie and I were the last to arrive. 700 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 6: Everyone else was just waiting in the front area of 701 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,400 Speaker 6: the restaurant waiting for our table to be ready. I 702 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 6: introduced everyone and then Ben asked me about a hobby 703 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 6: project I've been working on. Meanwhile, Jamie is making conversation 704 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,800 Speaker 6: with the others. I think everything is going great until 705 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,120 Speaker 6: the hostess shows up and asks if we're waiting for 706 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 6: one more We say no, and then she goes, oh, 707 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,320 Speaker 6: your reservation is for six? 708 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:21,280 Speaker 4: Did someone cancel? 709 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,959 Speaker 6: We looked around and that's when we noticed Danielle was gone. 710 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 6: Charles says she must have gone to the bathroom, but 711 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 6: he'll wait for her and come to the table when 712 00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 6: she comes out. Ten minutes go by and still know 713 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 6: Charles or Danielle, Jamie and Ben are deep in conversation. 714 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 6: So Abby and I decide to go check on Charles 715 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 6: and Danielle. When we get out there, Charles is knocking 716 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 6: on the bathroom door and no one is answering. Charles 717 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 6: tells us that he called and texted Danielle and she's 718 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,000 Speaker 6: not answering, and he's worried something happened to her. Abby's 719 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 6: a nurse, so she went into the bathroom while I 720 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,920 Speaker 6: waited with Charles. She came out and told us no 721 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 6: one's in there. So now we're all worried. We've got 722 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 6: a case of the disappearing girlfriend. That's not good. Charles 723 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 6: calls Danielle again and this time she picks up. We 724 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,960 Speaker 6: could tell they were having some kind of fight. So 725 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 6: Abby and I went back to the table to tell 726 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 6: Ben and Jamie that we should probably leave. Before they 727 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,479 Speaker 6: could even stand up, Charles comes to the table and 728 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 6: told us to sit down. He said Danielle went home 729 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 6: and if she was going to be this way, he 730 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,440 Speaker 6: wasn't going to let her ruin his night. He refused 731 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 6: to tell us why she left or what she was 732 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 6: mad about. We have a good time, but it was 733 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 6: still kind of awkward with Danielle not being there. After 734 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 6: we pay the bills, Charles asked Ben for a ride 735 00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 6: home since Danielle drove him. So we went out to 736 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 6: the parking lot and Abby's parked the closest, so she 737 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,719 Speaker 6: was gone before everything got worse. 738 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,000 Speaker 4: This is so ominous. 739 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 7: Got worse, But like, how do you have like a 740 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:50,320 Speaker 7: normal dinner after just that initial start? It's so weird. 741 00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:50,959 Speaker 4: I don't know. 742 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 6: I think if it's me, I would kind of be like, 743 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 6: maybe let's just like so we could still hang, Let's 744 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 6: go somewhere else, Let's change the setting. 745 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 4: This is now kind of weird. It feels weird. 746 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 7: It's not dinner mood. It's more like, let's just go 747 00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:09,480 Speaker 7: get a drink mood, like have some appetizers. Yeah, it's 748 00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 7: not sit down, nice restaurant dinner, chat about things. It's 749 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 7: a all right, let's talk and drink and just. 750 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,080 Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, it's go to the bar and be like 751 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,719 Speaker 6: let's talk about what just happened right at dinner? Okay, 752 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 6: So Abby was gone before everything got worse. I parked 753 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 6: way out in the back next to Ben. So the 754 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:32,520 Speaker 6: four of us are walking all the way out when 755 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 6: Ben said, isn't that Danielle's car? And sure, enough. Danielle 756 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,080 Speaker 6: has parked a couple of cars down from mine, and 757 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:43,800 Speaker 6: she was just sitting in the driver's seat, okay. When 758 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,440 Speaker 6: she finally noticed us, she got out and slammed the 759 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 6: door and started coming towards us, screaming at Charles. She 760 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,880 Speaker 6: was screaming at him about me. She called me a 761 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,719 Speaker 6: manipulative witch, among other things. And I didn't really know 762 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 6: what was going on, Jamie and I just left, okay. 763 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 6: Ben said he stayed for almost forty five minutes in 764 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,520 Speaker 6: his car, waiting for Charles in case Danielle had left 765 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:14,040 Speaker 6: him there. He's also confused about what happened. So yesterday morning, 766 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,960 Speaker 6: Sunday morning, Abby asked me because she heard from Ben 767 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,760 Speaker 6: about the fight and wanted to see what I knew. 768 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,600 Speaker 6: She's my roommate, obviously. The three of us were still. 769 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 4: Clueless until eleven am, when Charles called me. 770 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,399 Speaker 6: I put the phone on speaker so Abby could hear, 771 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,240 Speaker 6: thinking it was just gonna be him ranting. 772 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 4: Only it wasn't. Charles was calling to tell. 773 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,239 Speaker 6: Me that Danielle wanted an apology for me because I 774 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,920 Speaker 6: didn't tell her I was straight. 775 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,239 Speaker 4: What does that even mean? 776 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 7: That was not the left turn that I was expecting 777 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,480 Speaker 7: this story to take woo oh, I. 778 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:54,280 Speaker 6: Understand it's because she's part of the crew. It's Op, Abby, 779 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,759 Speaker 6: Ben and Charles. Yeah, and Danielle must have assumed that 780 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,480 Speaker 6: Op and maybe Abby were like together, so that there 781 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:08,920 Speaker 6: was no possible way that she could be romantically interested 782 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,920 Speaker 6: in her boyfriend Charles. 783 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,400 Speaker 7: Oh, so now Danielle feels threatened. Oh my, and she 784 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,600 Speaker 7: even though, oh, he's bringing Jamie who's a man to 785 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:19,000 Speaker 7: the friend dinner. 786 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 4: Dude, that's the whole thing. 787 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 6: And she's like, how dare you have not told me 788 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:27,960 Speaker 6: and made it so viciously obvious so clear to me, Girl, 789 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:29,880 Speaker 6: you're not entitled to that. 790 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 4: And if the presence of. 791 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 6: A female who could possibly be interested in your boyfriend 792 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,680 Speaker 6: makes you this violently insecure, you are not ready for 793 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 6: a relationship. So I guess Danielle assumed that I was 794 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,879 Speaker 6: attracted to the same gender like Abby, because I've never 795 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,280 Speaker 6: brought men around before. 796 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 4: So Abby is, but Opie is not. 797 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 6: I asked how she didn't know when I said I 798 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 6: was inviting my boyfriend, I looked and I used boyfriend, 799 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,239 Speaker 6: and he him pronoun in the text chain. 800 00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 4: Charles said he just used the word partner. 801 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,839 Speaker 6: Because he tries to be inclusive, and I told him 802 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,200 Speaker 6: that I'm not going to apologize because he didn't make 803 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 6: it clear Jamie's a boy when I did, that's his fault, 804 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 6: not mine. That's when Abby and I heard Danielle start 805 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,479 Speaker 6: yelling in the background. Next thing we knew, she took 806 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,160 Speaker 6: the phone and started yelling that I was a manipulative 807 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,239 Speaker 6: witch who lied on purpose, and that I'm trying to 808 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:27,160 Speaker 6: steal her man. 809 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:28,840 Speaker 4: She just kept yelling at. 810 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 6: Me until I hung up. Then she texted the group 811 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 6: from Charles's phone. At least it's safe to assume it 812 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,960 Speaker 6: was her that Charles would no longer be associating with 813 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:38,760 Speaker 6: us because I am an evil witch. 814 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 4: Ben had no idea what was going on and called us. 815 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,800 Speaker 6: The three of us decided that it was Charles's fault 816 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,520 Speaker 6: for not making it clear, but Jamie was a boy, 817 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 6: and that none of this is my fault. However, Ben 818 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,839 Speaker 6: thinks that I should apologize to Danielle for not making 819 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 6: my spicy preferences clearer. 820 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 7: Why is it even Charles's fault? 821 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,880 Speaker 6: How is Danielle getting away with this? Danielle, You've been 822 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:05,920 Speaker 6: for eight months. If this is how absurdly insecure. You're 823 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,760 Speaker 6: gonna be about him being best friends with a girl 824 00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 6: who likes boys who brought her boyfriend to dinner, and 825 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,279 Speaker 6: you somehow think that's her trying to steal your man. 826 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 6: You are the one who's fully in the wrong for that. 827 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 6: What are these people on about? I'm incensed right now. 828 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,360 Speaker 7: I can't make my brain understand where Danielle is coming 829 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,759 Speaker 7: from and where like even like the friends are blaming 830 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:34,520 Speaker 7: Charles because it's not on Charles to tell Danielle that 831 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,880 Speaker 7: Opie is straight. That's not Charles's place. That doesn't matter. 832 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 6: Danielle just made a straight up assumption and is now 833 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,960 Speaker 6: like viciously mad that she was wrong the whole time. 834 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,440 Speaker 7: This is one of those situations where assuming makes a 835 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:49,560 Speaker 7: donkey out of you and me. 836 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,799 Speaker 6: Yes exactly, a number of other mutual friends have reached 837 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 6: out since yesterday afternoon, telling me that I need to 838 00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 6: apologize and writing nasty comments on all of my Instagram 839 00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 6: posts that includ. 840 00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 4: Pictures of all four of us. 841 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,879 Speaker 6: They all refuse to listen and all say that I'm 842 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,439 Speaker 6: in love with Charles and that I'm a homewrecker trying 843 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 6: to steal him. 844 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:08,399 Speaker 4: Not sure why I. 845 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:11,240 Speaker 6: Would do that while I'm in a relationship but whatever, 846 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,319 Speaker 6: or that I lied because I've been with sappok and 847 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,160 Speaker 6: never corrected Danielle. I did not know that she thought 848 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 6: I was attracted to the same gender. I'm assuming that 849 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,160 Speaker 6: Danielle is telling everybody that I made a pass or something. 850 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 4: But when Ben and Jamie heard that. 851 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,759 Speaker 6: He burst out laughing because everyone who knows me knows 852 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 6: that Charles and Ben are more like annoying older brothers 853 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,879 Speaker 6: to me than anything else. Now, I don't know if 854 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,239 Speaker 6: Charles has a thing for me or not, but in 855 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 6: the last six years I've known him, He's never made 856 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,680 Speaker 6: any kind of pass or romantic advance, so I doubt it. 857 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,439 Speaker 6: This is a throwaway account because Charles follows my man 858 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 6: and I want to avoid getting in a fight with 859 00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 6: him or Danielle on Reddit. 860 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:48,640 Speaker 4: So I need to know. 861 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,920 Speaker 6: Am I the a hole for not telling Danielle that 862 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,280 Speaker 6: I'm straight before? 863 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:53,520 Speaker 4: Now? 864 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 6: Should I apologize for not making it clearer? And we 865 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 6: have an update? But first, Matt, I just want to 866 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:04,279 Speaker 6: really quickly introduce myself. I'm Dakota straight, super straight, straight 867 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:05,040 Speaker 6: as an arrow, my guy. 868 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm Matt. 869 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 7: I'm very straight, as people will know I do have 870 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,480 Speaker 7: a girlfriend at least yes. 871 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 6: Right, and now we've done our totally normal human introductions 872 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,920 Speaker 6: that everyone does in just like that. 873 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,360 Speaker 7: But Deakcolla, you haven't told me about your cheese preference. 874 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,680 Speaker 7: I need to know what you think about cheese. 875 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,800 Speaker 6: I will be as close to the best as possible 876 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 6: for the rest of my life. 877 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,799 Speaker 7: I am offended, and I demand an apology right now. 878 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,279 Speaker 4: Parmersan Reggiana, thank you. 879 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 7: I agree, we're on the same page. 880 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,600 Speaker 6: I'm actually kind of baffled on how I would move 881 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:34,240 Speaker 6: forward here. 882 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,840 Speaker 4: First, I'd be grilling my friend who's saying. 883 00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,719 Speaker 6: Anyone telling me I need to apologize for this for 884 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,680 Speaker 6: any other reason other than to just make peace, because 885 00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,719 Speaker 6: that's one thing. If you're just like, hey, this is insane, 886 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 6: maybe just apologize so that we can all move on 887 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,359 Speaker 6: and get over this, because. 888 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,000 Speaker 4: It's so ridiculous. All right, let's get into this update. 889 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,319 Speaker 6: So almost everyone who originally thought I was the a 890 00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:01,280 Speaker 6: hole on Sunday and Monday seems to have change their minds, 891 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:05,000 Speaker 6: because there are at least four different stories that seem 892 00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,680 Speaker 6: to originate from Charles and or Danielle. Story number one, 893 00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 6: when Charles originally asked me out. I apparently flat out 894 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,520 Speaker 6: told him that I'm attracted to the same gender, but 895 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 6: he needed to keep it a secret because I didn't 896 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 6: want my closet guarding parents to find out. Apparently my 897 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:25,840 Speaker 6: two university boyfriends were beards. Apparently my two university boyfriends 898 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,879 Speaker 6: were also beards, and that's why they didn't last long. 899 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,840 Speaker 6: This is false for many reasons. First off, my parents 900 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 6: aren't closet guards. And if Charles asked me out when 901 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,799 Speaker 6: he said he did, and I no longer believe he did, 902 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,279 Speaker 6: and that's why I can't remember. Thank you to the 903 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,160 Speaker 6: commentary who made me question if it happened, There's no 904 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 6: way I would have trusted him enough with that information. 905 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,280 Speaker 6: Even now, I would have trusted Abby and Ben Moore. 906 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 6: Story number two. I've been telling Charles that if I 907 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,200 Speaker 6: was ever. 908 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,560 Speaker 4: To switch teams, so to speak, he. 909 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:59,760 Speaker 6: Would be my first call. Apparently this is something Charles 910 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,839 Speaker 6: told Danielle every time she got upset, when he would 911 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,560 Speaker 6: say stuff like that's not how OP would do it, 912 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,920 Speaker 6: or OP says, this is how you should do it. 913 00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,239 Speaker 6: Apparently he's been making comments like this in front of 914 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,000 Speaker 6: other people. Story three. Charles and I have been sleeping 915 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,600 Speaker 6: together the whole time, and Danielle was the other woman 916 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,759 Speaker 6: who had no right to be upset. Also, Charles lied 917 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,480 Speaker 6: to her about not having a girlfriend. I guess people 918 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,040 Speaker 6: thought this because, as one of my friends pointed out, 919 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,239 Speaker 6: every picture we're both in, he's touching me like he's 920 00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,240 Speaker 6: got an arm around my waist or over my shoulder 921 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,960 Speaker 6: or resting his hands on my shoulders. I never noticed 922 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:37,680 Speaker 6: until it was pointed out, but now I'm definitely creeped out. 923 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 6: And story four, Abby and I have been sleeping together 924 00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,799 Speaker 6: all along, and I'm the reason Abby and her ex 925 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 6: broke up, and that I broke them up on purpose 926 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,319 Speaker 6: because I'm threatened by others disturbing our group dynamic. I 927 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,920 Speaker 6: now also understand why she thought I was using Jamie 928 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,560 Speaker 6: to make Charles jealous. 929 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 4: She thought I was using. 930 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:57,520 Speaker 6: Him to make Charles make a move on me so 931 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,640 Speaker 6: I could break them up, which makes the home record 932 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,920 Speaker 6: comments make more sense now. But Charles knew that they 933 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:08,320 Speaker 6: broke up because Abby's ex got a job in France. Honestly, 934 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 6: I don't know how Charles kept any of it straight. 935 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,200 Speaker 6: In other news, Danielle broke up with Charles apparently not 936 00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 6: one hundred percent sure, though, because Abby and Ben and 937 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,360 Speaker 6: I still aren't talking to Charles and probably won't ever again. 938 00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:24,160 Speaker 6: I've heard that she found out it's all been lies, Okay, 939 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:28,080 Speaker 6: So I guess they have moved forward with the assumption. 940 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 6: And I guess maybe the knowledge that Charles has been 941 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,160 Speaker 6: spreading lies Charles and or Danielle. 942 00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:38,600 Speaker 4: But I don't like that, and or I need way 943 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:39,680 Speaker 4: more clarity here. 944 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:44,279 Speaker 7: I feel like Charles has not been completely fourth right 945 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,680 Speaker 7: with Danielle, but I feel like Danielle has been spreading 946 00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:52,239 Speaker 7: dirty stories after initially finding out, and then when she realized, oh, 947 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,040 Speaker 7: Charles has not been completely faithful to me, that's when 948 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:56,120 Speaker 7: she broke it off with her. 949 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:59,240 Speaker 6: Yeah, feels like once you realize, okay, like this guy's 950 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,600 Speaker 6: actually low key just waiting for this girl to. 951 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 4: Be available or to make a move on him, or 952 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:05,759 Speaker 4: to want him. 953 00:44:05,920 --> 00:44:08,920 Speaker 6: But I don't know, it doesn't even necessarily feel like 954 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,200 Speaker 6: the case to me, because he's been dating Danielle for 955 00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:16,920 Speaker 6: eight months and Opie's bringing their boyfriend to dinner. 956 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:17,719 Speaker 4: I don't know. 957 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:21,880 Speaker 6: I guess it doesn't make sense that Charles was feeding 958 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,720 Speaker 6: Danielle with information about Ope being attracted to the same gender, 959 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,680 Speaker 6: because then Danielle would be upset at Charles and not Opee. 960 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,000 Speaker 4: So I still can't make heads or tails of where 961 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,799 Speaker 4: the lies begin and end here. 962 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 6: Also, Danielle was apparently so worried about him cheating with 963 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,799 Speaker 6: me because he cheated on his ex. 964 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,799 Speaker 4: With her, which makes sense. 965 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 6: Why he's always had a new girlfriend right after the 966 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:49,520 Speaker 6: breakup he. 967 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,360 Speaker 4: Was cheating on his ex with the next one. 968 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,800 Speaker 6: Apparently he used the excuse that he was with Abby 969 00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 6: and I with his ex when he was meeting with Danielle. 970 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,760 Speaker 6: He started saying that to her, and when she pointed 971 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 6: out that used to be code for being with her, 972 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,680 Speaker 6: he said, well, sometimes I was with them and not you, 973 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,480 Speaker 6: and that's what made the lie so believable. He hasn't 974 00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,960 Speaker 6: spent any more time with us than normal, so I 975 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,520 Speaker 6: guess he's got a new one already. Honestly, as far 976 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,400 Speaker 6: as I know, a lot of my friends realize that 977 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:19,880 Speaker 6: he's creepy and manipulative and a liar. He's really exposed 978 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,120 Speaker 6: how much of a truly awful person he is. I 979 00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,560 Speaker 6: still think Danielle pouring in her car and waiting for 980 00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,880 Speaker 6: us to come out of the restaurant was a little extreme, 981 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,360 Speaker 6: but I think her meltdown makes more sense. Thank you 982 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,440 Speaker 6: everyone for making me feel better about not wanting to apologize. 983 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,040 Speaker 6: I truly thought that it was me that did something wrong, 984 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,120 Speaker 6: but I'm glad to know I didn't. 985 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 7: My friend shows her boyfriend over me despite his awful behavior. 986 00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,120 Speaker 4: No, my friend, No. 987 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,520 Speaker 7: Let's get into this. I twenty three female, went out 988 00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:53,319 Speaker 7: to meet Madison, twenty two female, a close friend of 989 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,279 Speaker 7: six years. She told me her boyfriend, twenty six male, 990 00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,240 Speaker 7: would join us around three pm, but she hadn't mentioned 991 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:02,680 Speaker 7: it beforehand. That was fine, though, so we continued chatting 992 00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,000 Speaker 7: until he arrived. I already knew he was a jokester, 993 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,279 Speaker 7: but I realized it even more as we talked. By 994 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,040 Speaker 7: the way, this comes from any Tennis fifteen forty nine. 995 00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,040 Speaker 7: And if you want to submit your own stories just 996 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,359 Speaker 7: like this, just go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. Hi, 997 00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:21,360 Speaker 7: I'm Matt, I'm Dakota, and Op says, seeing that I 998 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,840 Speaker 7: talk a lot, he made a comment asking if I 999 00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,600 Speaker 7: was a Gypsy instead of Kurdish. At first I didn't understand, 1000 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,560 Speaker 7: but when I did, it upset me because it was 1001 00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:33,320 Speaker 7: clearly a discriminatory remark. I asked if he was being discriminatory, 1002 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,479 Speaker 7: and he denied it. I persisted and he denied it more, 1003 00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,279 Speaker 7: saying that his way of bullying people is a love 1004 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,960 Speaker 7: language he uses only with close ones. I asked if 1005 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,600 Speaker 7: he was doing with her, which he replied, I'm doing 1006 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,920 Speaker 7: it more with her. I let it slide, saying I understood, 1007 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 7: but my feelings were hurt. As the conversation continued, he 1008 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,759 Speaker 7: kept touching my friend's leg, which made me uncomfortable, but 1009 00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,600 Speaker 7: I didn't say anything. He also kept making jokes directed 1010 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,640 Speaker 7: at me, which I didn't enjoy. Still, I didn't want 1011 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,960 Speaker 7: to ruin the mood because my friend went through a 1012 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:06,600 Speaker 7: tough breakup before meeting him, and now they're planning to marry. Later, 1013 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,760 Speaker 7: we moved to a corner and he got even worse. 1014 00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,600 Speaker 7: He was touching her even more, and while I'm usually talkative, 1015 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,560 Speaker 7: I stayed quiet because I was already upset by the 1016 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,680 Speaker 7: jokes due to my staring. I think he understood that 1017 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,399 Speaker 7: I was uncomfortable. He said something about that I don't 1018 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,520 Speaker 7: quite remember right now. It was probably like, maybe we 1019 00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 7: shouldn't do it because your friend is staring. I said, 1020 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,200 Speaker 7: it is okay, with a more serious tone. Since I 1021 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,760 Speaker 7: was caught off guard, and since he asked, I thought 1022 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:37,200 Speaker 7: I would disrupt the mood if I said, yes, I'm uncomfortable. 1023 00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,480 Speaker 6: So you're uncomfortable that they're just like physically like touching. 1024 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,000 Speaker 6: I think it seems like a pretty low tolerance. 1025 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,520 Speaker 7: Not gonna lie, right, It depends on what they're touching. 1026 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,680 Speaker 7: Is is like. 1027 00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,640 Speaker 4: Like are they like touching or are they like touching 1028 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:51,120 Speaker 4: you know? 1029 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,840 Speaker 7: Yeah, like are they just like rubbing leg holding hand 1030 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,080 Speaker 7: like backscratchy? 1031 00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:59,200 Speaker 6: Oh god, they're rubbing leg at the public establishment, public 1032 00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,280 Speaker 6: displays of the I cannot tolerate. 1033 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,040 Speaker 7: Despite everything, I tried to keep the mood light, but 1034 00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,319 Speaker 7: then he made a joke about me selling water at 1035 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,879 Speaker 7: traffic lights, calling me I can sell it, and I'm 1036 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:13,000 Speaker 7: like a beaster. Of course, I got offended and asked 1037 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,600 Speaker 7: what he meant. Even my friend asked him, what are 1038 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,040 Speaker 7: you saying? He tried to cover it up, saying, if 1039 00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:20,040 Speaker 7: we gave you water, you could sell it at traffic 1040 00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,920 Speaker 7: lights and people would even give you extra money because 1041 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:26,759 Speaker 7: you're so persuasive. I sarcastically replied, you could have just 1042 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:30,160 Speaker 7: said salesperson instead, and I laughed it off, but I 1043 00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,840 Speaker 7: was really upset, but I thought he probably couldn't articulate 1044 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,279 Speaker 7: his thoughts, so he called me that. What pushed me 1045 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,799 Speaker 7: over the edge was when they started whispering to each 1046 00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,280 Speaker 7: other about going to an empty house to have spicy sleep. Basically, 1047 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,560 Speaker 7: even though they were trying to be quiet, it was 1048 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,440 Speaker 7: obvious what they were talking about. I was already angry, 1049 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,720 Speaker 7: and this made it worse. I felt like I didn't 1050 00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,680 Speaker 7: belong there, Like I understand that you two have spicy 1051 00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,040 Speaker 7: sleep drives, but they don't have to talk about it. 1052 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:55,799 Speaker 7: When I was there, When I asked what they were 1053 00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:00,160 Speaker 7: talking about, he said nothing, which annoyed me more. I thought, well, 1054 00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:01,960 Speaker 7: then what's the point of me being here if they're 1055 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,799 Speaker 7: going to talk quietly between each other? 1056 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 6: Okay, But at the same time, brother, like, if they 1057 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 6: had told you, oh, we're talking about going to bang 1058 00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,440 Speaker 6: in an empty house, you would have been more upset. 1059 00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's like I understand, and. 1060 00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,359 Speaker 6: Also the whole like, yeah, you could totally be selling 1061 00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:18,759 Speaker 6: water bottles at the traffic light. 1062 00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,839 Speaker 4: It's like, what do you mean by that? Yeah, you 1063 00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 4: just politely go what do you mean? Can you explain 1064 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:23,600 Speaker 4: that a little bit more? 1065 00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,840 Speaker 6: Until he goes, yeah, I'm trying to imply that you'd 1066 00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:31,440 Speaker 6: be just like a street person selling water bottles because 1067 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,239 Speaker 6: it's demeaning in the context in which I'm presenting it. 1068 00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,040 Speaker 4: You go, oh, so you're trying to belittle me, not 1069 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:38,480 Speaker 4: compliment me. Oh kay. 1070 00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,080 Speaker 7: I like that approach to people because it doesn't give 1071 00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,799 Speaker 7: them any wiggle room, and you're not being confrontational. You're 1072 00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,719 Speaker 7: just trying to understand what the joke is. Yeah, I 1073 00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,160 Speaker 7: just really want to understand what the joke was. I 1074 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:51,360 Speaker 7: want to know why it was funny? 1075 00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:52,160 Speaker 4: What do you mean by that? 1076 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,120 Speaker 7: I'm curious. I just legitimately want to know why. 1077 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 6: I just don't understand why you're equating me to selling 1078 00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,840 Speaker 6: water on the street. Why couldn't I be selling like 1079 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,840 Speaker 6: I don't know, houses? Could I be selling jet airplanes? 1080 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:04,160 Speaker 7: And why is it on the side of the street. 1081 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:05,280 Speaker 7: Why can't I have a nice shop? 1082 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:06,959 Speaker 4: Yeah, why don't I have a bodega? 1083 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,000 Speaker 7: I got up, told my friends I was leaving since 1084 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,640 Speaker 7: we had nothing left to talk about, hugged her and 1085 00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,239 Speaker 7: walked out. Later, my friend texted me asking if I 1086 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:16,279 Speaker 7: was angry, Oh, what would have given her that? 1087 00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:16,919 Speaker 6: Yeah? 1088 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,799 Speaker 7: And I said yes. When I explained, she said their 1089 00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:22,400 Speaker 7: conversation was not about me, and she told me I 1090 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,719 Speaker 7: was right about the jokes, and what can she say? 1091 00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,680 Speaker 7: That her boyfriend was just being friendly with his jokes 1092 00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,040 Speaker 7: and he made them because he saw me as a 1093 00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:32,600 Speaker 7: seer person. I told her that they could have talked 1094 00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,200 Speaker 7: about whatever they wanted after I left. What I'm thinking is, 1095 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,840 Speaker 7: am I the a hole for taking these jokes seriously? 1096 00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,160 Speaker 7: I had problems with this during high school too. I 1097 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:42,440 Speaker 7: couldn't even take it when someone would say idiot to 1098 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,200 Speaker 7: me as a joke. So am I perhaps taking myself 1099 00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 7: too seriously and creating conflict out of nothing? There is 1100 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:51,000 Speaker 7: an update eight months later. 1101 00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,920 Speaker 4: Oh oh boy. Almost a full baby. Wow, almost full baby. 1102 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,759 Speaker 7: After the last event, my friend and I exchanged some messages. 1103 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,200 Speaker 7: I told her everything I was upset about, and she 1104 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,040 Speaker 7: mostly agreed. Then her boyfriend texted me. He apologized for 1105 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 7: everything in detail, didn't leave anything out, and explained everything clearly. 1106 00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,359 Speaker 7: I accepted his apology and that was the end of it. 1107 00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:15,319 Speaker 7: After that, I honestly can't remember when my best friend 1108 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,960 Speaker 7: and I saw each other again. She started spending every 1109 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,319 Speaker 7: single day with her boyfriend. At first, I didn't care 1110 00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,880 Speaker 7: that much. I figured they were in the honeymoon phase. 1111 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,000 Speaker 7: But I've never been the kind of person to ignore 1112 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,560 Speaker 7: my friends while dating. When I was in a relationship, 1113 00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,000 Speaker 7: I made sure to keep it separate from my friendships. 1114 00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:32,239 Speaker 7: I would not even talk about it unless my best 1115 00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,080 Speaker 7: friend specifically asked, because she was single at the time 1116 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,319 Speaker 7: and hearing about relationships made her feel bad. I tried 1117 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,720 Speaker 7: to be considerate, but in the end, I don't feel 1118 00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 7: like I received the same in return. 1119 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:45,799 Speaker 6: Really quick, if we're feeling like it hurts to hear 1120 00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,200 Speaker 6: about our best friend being in a relationship, now we 1121 00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:49,080 Speaker 6: gotta be talking. 1122 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,359 Speaker 4: We have to be clear about these things, about when 1123 00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:53,880 Speaker 4: we feel certain ways, about when we think. 1124 00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,279 Speaker 6: Certain ways, we have to tell them or else how 1125 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:57,319 Speaker 6: would they know? Right? 1126 00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,359 Speaker 7: It's a communication. Is a two way street, yes, not 1127 00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,840 Speaker 7: giving them that leeway, how are they gonna know what 1128 00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:03,640 Speaker 7: you're upset by? 1129 00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:04,520 Speaker 4: Exactly? 1130 00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,960 Speaker 7: Once, a few months ago, I asked her to meet up. 1131 00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,000 Speaker 7: She said no and explained that all the colors in 1132 00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,200 Speaker 7: her life were disappearing when she wasn't with her boyfriend. 1133 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,560 Speaker 7: I told her to just reach out when she felt 1134 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,239 Speaker 7: like meeting up, and she agreed, but she never wrote 1135 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,600 Speaker 7: to me about meeting up again. We only texted a 1136 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,440 Speaker 7: few more times after that. One time she randomly messaged 1137 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,480 Speaker 7: me about a girl we know from high school. I 1138 00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:27,480 Speaker 7: was kind of annoyed because it was so random and 1139 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,799 Speaker 7: felt like she only texted me to gossip. I wasn't 1140 00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,520 Speaker 7: into it, and the conversation ended quickly. At that point, 1141 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,879 Speaker 7: I stopped texting or reaching out. There was one time 1142 00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,120 Speaker 7: I initiated a conversation about meeting up during college exams. 1143 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,400 Speaker 7: She agreed, but I never heard anything about it afterward. 1144 00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:45,280 Speaker 7: To be honest, I didn't even care anymore. After the exams, 1145 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,520 Speaker 7: her sister reached out to ask if I wanted to 1146 00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,680 Speaker 7: hang out since one of her friends from another city 1147 00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:51,919 Speaker 7: was visiting. I went there expecting to see my best 1148 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,560 Speaker 7: friend too, but she wasn't there. Her sister, her cousins, 1149 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,640 Speaker 7: and her friend were all there, but not her. I 1150 00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:01,000 Speaker 7: later found out that she hadn't been seeing them either. 1151 00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,520 Speaker 7: One of the cousins mentioned that things had been tense 1152 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,120 Speaker 7: at their house because my best friend had a fight 1153 00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,880 Speaker 7: with her sister. Apparently it was about the same issue 1154 00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,759 Speaker 7: her sister felt ignored. So basically, it's not just me. 1155 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,759 Speaker 7: Everyone in her life has experienced the same thing. It's 1156 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,439 Speaker 7: like she can't see anything outside of her boyfriend. Two 1157 00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:22,200 Speaker 7: weeks ago, she messaged me again, but by that point 1158 00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,440 Speaker 7: I hadn't reached out in a long time because I 1159 00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:28,200 Speaker 7: just didn't want to. I resented her. That conversation ended 1160 00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,960 Speaker 7: quickly too. Then today I saw a TikTok she posted 1161 00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:34,279 Speaker 7: that said some girl's best friends are their boyfriends, and 1162 00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,719 Speaker 7: honestly that her I was her best friend. We used 1163 00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,759 Speaker 7: to be so close. We talked about her wedding, how 1164 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,520 Speaker 7: I'd be there as her witness, how her future kids 1165 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:46,160 Speaker 7: would call me aunt, and how I'd bring them gifts. 1166 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,480 Speaker 7: Now all of that feels shallow. There was a moment 1167 00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,520 Speaker 7: I was so pissed off that I wanted to just 1168 00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,840 Speaker 7: end it all. But then I thought about my relationship 1169 00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:56,520 Speaker 7: with her sister and cousin. If I cut ties with 1170 00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:59,919 Speaker 7: her completely, my relationship with them was probably fade two 1171 00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,440 Speaker 7: and right now I don't want that. I'm actually closer 1172 00:54:02,480 --> 00:54:05,120 Speaker 7: to them. We send each other videos every day. I 1173 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,759 Speaker 7: know this friendship will end eventually, but I don't know 1174 00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:09,520 Speaker 7: if I should do it now just to preserve my 1175 00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:11,960 Speaker 7: bond with her sister and cousin. Now, let me be honest, 1176 00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:15,000 Speaker 7: I didn't try to save this friendship. Having open conversations 1177 00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,920 Speaker 7: about things that made us upset about our friendship was 1178 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:20,520 Speaker 7: always encouraged, but I didn't do it this time. The 1179 00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,759 Speaker 7: reason is that I didn't want to beg for her 1180 00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,520 Speaker 7: time and affection. She is already not giving me any, 1181 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,640 Speaker 7: and I didn't want it to be forced. When she 1182 00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,600 Speaker 7: texted me like last time, I didn't return it. I 1183 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:33,080 Speaker 7: was kind of done with everything. I'm still not writing, 1184 00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,600 Speaker 7: and if she decided to text me now, I would 1185 00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,000 Speaker 7: literally feel nervous and wish that she didn't write me 1186 00:54:38,040 --> 00:54:41,160 Speaker 7: at all. So Reddit and okay, story time, what do 1187 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,759 Speaker 7: you think? Am I the a hole? What should I do? 1188 00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:45,680 Speaker 7: And what would you do if you were in my shoes? 1189 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:50,359 Speaker 4: There's some comment, Okay, buddy, you kind of are. 1190 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,799 Speaker 6: I would say, you're at a coin flip right now. 1191 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,680 Speaker 6: You're like in both lanes. You can't be in both lanes. 1192 00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:57,640 Speaker 6: You can't be like well, I wish that she would 1193 00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,600 Speaker 6: actually prioritize our friendship and like re out to me, 1194 00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:03,400 Speaker 6: But then also I don't really care to ever respond 1195 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:06,360 Speaker 6: to anything she says, and I don't care to maintain 1196 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,640 Speaker 6: the friendship at this point either, because it feels like 1197 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,160 Speaker 6: I'm begging, But the reality is is like, clearly, you're 1198 00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,880 Speaker 6: in college, she's got a boyfriend, and. 1199 00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,800 Speaker 4: Those are already two big things to manage. 1200 00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,200 Speaker 6: I think it's crazy that people like, you know, it's 1201 00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,160 Speaker 6: like the notion that like you just have one best friend. 1202 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,600 Speaker 6: It's like you can have multiples. It's like your partner 1203 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,680 Speaker 6: can be your best friend. You can have more than 1204 00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,080 Speaker 6: just one best friend. But you know, clearly this is 1205 00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,480 Speaker 6: something not just Ope is dealing with, Like her sister is. 1206 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:30,680 Speaker 4: Also like, hey, where have you gone? 1207 00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:33,359 Speaker 6: Yeah, sometimes people need to be told that, like, hey, 1208 00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,680 Speaker 6: I feel like we haven't like talked at all, and 1209 00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,719 Speaker 6: then they would go, oh, I need to put more 1210 00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:39,040 Speaker 6: effort into this. 1211 00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:43,279 Speaker 7: I think OPI can like still maintain a friendship with 1212 00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:47,359 Speaker 7: the sister and the cousin even if OPI isn't friends. 1213 00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:48,440 Speaker 4: With Yeah, that's a good point. I was going to 1214 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:49,720 Speaker 4: say that that is so true. 1215 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:53,680 Speaker 7: If the sister's also not talking to them, they're all 1216 00:55:53,719 --> 00:55:56,279 Speaker 7: on the same boat. They can be friends without. 1217 00:55:56,120 --> 00:56:00,319 Speaker 6: Your friendship with these other relatives of your ex best friend. 1218 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 6: I guess at this point aren't dependent entirely on y'all 1219 00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:03,800 Speaker 6: being friends. 1220 00:56:03,840 --> 00:56:07,359 Speaker 7: Clearly, All right, let's get into the comments, comment one. Unfortunately, 1221 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,800 Speaker 7: your friend is on the rebound from her previous breakup 1222 00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,040 Speaker 7: and is apparently willing to put up with this low 1223 00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,280 Speaker 7: life just to satisfy her need for attention or a distraction. 1224 00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:17,799 Speaker 7: You are right not to lower your own standards for 1225 00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:20,880 Speaker 7: her or anyone else. Distance yourself from her till she 1226 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,360 Speaker 7: dumps this loser. Harsh but fair comment too, not the 1227 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,799 Speaker 7: a hole. What he did from the start was make 1228 00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:30,320 Speaker 7: his goal to make you uncomfortable for fun. She chose 1229 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,360 Speaker 7: real low for a rebound. She put rose colored glasses 1230 00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,440 Speaker 7: on until they come off. This will be an endless circle. 1231 00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,080 Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam og host. We're gonet back to these 1232 00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,600 Speaker 1: delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our 1233 00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:42,959 Speaker 1: sponsors to help support the show. 1234 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:47,800 Speaker 4: I ditched my friend because he treated me like a maid. 1235 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,680 Speaker 7: The ditch is not the sitch you want to be in. Friend. Yeah, 1236 00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:53,720 Speaker 7: get ditched, don't get ditched. 1237 00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:57,840 Speaker 6: For some context, I am twenty five female dating my 1238 00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,960 Speaker 6: now fiance, twenty six male. We live in an area 1239 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,120 Speaker 6: that's really high cost of living and have two other roommates, 1240 00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:07,360 Speaker 6: Neil and Sonny, who are both male and also in 1241 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:09,640 Speaker 6: their mid to late twenties, not sure of their age. 1242 00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:12,239 Speaker 6: They were more my fiance's friends than mine to begin with. 1243 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,880 Speaker 6: And by the way, this comes from sinebun Bun ninety 1244 00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,200 Speaker 6: nine and if you want to submit your own stories, 1245 00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,200 Speaker 6: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit where this 1246 00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:21,600 Speaker 6: story came from. 1247 00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:22,880 Speaker 4: So I'm Dakota. 1248 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:28,080 Speaker 6: Hi, I'm mat and Op says, for a lot of background, 1249 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:32,600 Speaker 6: I have four cats, all my babies, and understandably my responsibility. 1250 00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,480 Speaker 6: I take on a more traditional housewife role in our relationship. 1251 00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:38,240 Speaker 6: He does the nine to five and I work almost 1252 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,360 Speaker 6: full time, my hours ranging from twenty to forty hours 1253 00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,560 Speaker 6: based on if they need me, and I cook his 1254 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:46,480 Speaker 6: meals and clean the house. We always try and balance 1255 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,800 Speaker 6: our weeks. If one person is more burnt out than 1256 00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:51,120 Speaker 6: the other, we trade on who cleans and cooks and 1257 00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,600 Speaker 6: so on and so forth. We stayed with Neil for 1258 00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:55,920 Speaker 6: a little bit in a different house before moving to 1259 00:57:55,960 --> 00:57:57,840 Speaker 6: the new one, to see what he was about and 1260 00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,880 Speaker 6: see if we could coexist. We threw out a ca 1261 00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:01,880 Speaker 6: vouch for him and let his friend Liam in his 1262 00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:05,440 Speaker 6: mid twenties mail move in too. Neil vouched for Liam 1263 00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,520 Speaker 6: and swore up and down to us that he would 1264 00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:11,840 Speaker 6: be able to pay rent. Liam was late twice, so reasonably, 1265 00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:13,800 Speaker 6: when the lease was up, we didn't want him moving 1266 00:58:13,880 --> 00:58:16,760 Speaker 6: to the next spot. Neil understood and told us he 1267 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,800 Speaker 6: would talk to him about being removed from the lease 1268 00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,280 Speaker 6: for the next property. My fiance and I were not 1269 00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,280 Speaker 6: there for that conversation, but Neil said he took it well. 1270 00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:28,080 Speaker 6: Since this isn't the main story, the TLDR is that 1271 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:32,240 Speaker 6: Liam tried to blackmail us after we had all parted ways. 1272 00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:36,000 Speaker 6: So bad guy Liam. Liam not a very cool vibe 1273 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:36,560 Speaker 6: kind of guy. 1274 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:40,440 Speaker 7: Blackmail is just always so icky to me, you know, 1275 00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,880 Speaker 7: like you know things about somebody, like ha, I know 1276 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,560 Speaker 7: you well enough that I'm gonna use your own life 1277 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:47,280 Speaker 7: against you. 1278 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:50,120 Speaker 4: That's what I wonder is it's like blackmailing in what way? 1279 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,960 Speaker 6: Like what could this guy who was basically crashing on 1280 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:54,919 Speaker 6: the couch have against you? 1281 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,240 Speaker 7: I know what kind of sandwich spread you? 1282 00:58:58,440 --> 00:58:58,520 Speaker 2: Like? 1283 00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:00,840 Speaker 4: I know, yes, sandwich order? 1284 00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:03,680 Speaker 6: In between us house hunting for a new spot from 1285 00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:05,680 Speaker 6: the old one, since the old one was a bit 1286 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:08,400 Speaker 6: out of budget with not enough parking. I would gather 1287 00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:11,800 Speaker 6: lists of properties and email them to my fiance and 1288 00:59:12,040 --> 00:59:14,640 Speaker 6: Neil to select properties. And let me know which ones 1289 00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,080 Speaker 6: I can set up for viewing. Neil told my fiance 1290 00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,440 Speaker 6: that what I was doing was too tedious and he 1291 00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:21,720 Speaker 6: had explained to me already what he wants and that 1292 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:23,960 Speaker 6: I should just be looking for his needs too. The 1293 00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,240 Speaker 6: reason I had set up the communication this way was 1294 00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,880 Speaker 6: because me and my fiance have different needs and wants 1295 00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,320 Speaker 6: compared to him, and it's easier if he just tells 1296 00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:34,120 Speaker 6: me which properties fit his needs, or if he wanted 1297 00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,040 Speaker 6: to make suggestions. 1298 00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:36,560 Speaker 4: I was open, but he didn't. 1299 00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:38,640 Speaker 6: He waited for me to send the list, pick a 1300 00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,280 Speaker 6: few he liked, and then complained to my fiance that 1301 00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,240 Speaker 6: it wasn't what he wanted without making a suggestion of 1302 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:47,120 Speaker 6: other properties. This happened for at least two months, as 1303 00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:49,840 Speaker 6: we live in a densely populated area and I started 1304 00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,160 Speaker 6: looking ahead of time. In addition to this, since I 1305 00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:54,440 Speaker 6: had to throw out a whole seven seater couch, I 1306 00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:57,080 Speaker 6: was asking for some kind of reimbursement on my five 1307 00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:00,360 Speaker 6: hundred dollars couch. He offered me fifty bucks for the 1308 01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:02,760 Speaker 6: section we had to throw out so his desk could 1309 01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:05,560 Speaker 6: fit in our space. We even paid for his movers 1310 01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:07,240 Speaker 6: since he had to move in with us as a 1311 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,600 Speaker 6: show of good faith. When I started hounding him on 1312 01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:11,840 Speaker 6: what he owed me, he started to call me spastic 1313 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,600 Speaker 6: and anxious behind my back to my fiance, who quickly 1314 01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,520 Speaker 6: set Neil straight and told him to stop talking poorly 1315 01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:21,000 Speaker 6: about me to him behind my back. Yeah, buddy, I 1316 01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,440 Speaker 6: think you need to learn this thing called a target audience. 1317 01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:26,440 Speaker 6: It's not going to be their fiance when you're down 1318 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,280 Speaker 6: talking them, or at least it shouldn't absolutely crazy move 1319 01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:29,480 Speaker 6: of you. 1320 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,320 Speaker 7: Also fifty dollars on a five hundred dollars couch. What 1321 01:00:33,440 --> 01:00:34,760 Speaker 7: kind of reimbursement is that? 1322 01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:36,960 Speaker 4: She's like, well, I paid you ten percent, that's the 1323 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:37,680 Speaker 4: standard rate. 1324 01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:41,120 Speaker 6: He also, my fiance informed me that this was happening, 1325 01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,600 Speaker 6: which made me wary of Neil. I told my partner 1326 01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:45,400 Speaker 6: to give it some time and maybe he gets better, 1327 01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,360 Speaker 6: since maybe we're all just under a lot of stress 1328 01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,040 Speaker 6: due to moving. I also tend to be very blunt, 1329 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,320 Speaker 6: which sometimes can come off as rude, and I can 1330 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,200 Speaker 6: see how we might all be pushing each other's buttons 1331 01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:55,600 Speaker 6: right now. 1332 01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,760 Speaker 4: Fast forward to the current situation. We moved to the 1333 01:00:58,800 --> 01:00:59,680 Speaker 4: next spot. 1334 01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:02,680 Speaker 6: With our millet terry friend Sonny and Neil and things 1335 01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:05,240 Speaker 6: were peaceful for a bit. Sonny was projected to leave 1336 01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:07,280 Speaker 6: in the middle of the year, which we all discussed 1337 01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,680 Speaker 6: and said was fine since he said he would contribute 1338 01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:11,920 Speaker 6: more to rent, more than half of the rent, so 1339 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,080 Speaker 6: that we can save and be able to pay for 1340 01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,320 Speaker 6: the remaining few months when he was gone. He ended 1341 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:19,360 Speaker 6: up staying past his projected leaving day, and during all this, 1342 01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:21,960 Speaker 6: my fiance got deployed and was not going to be 1343 01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:24,840 Speaker 6: home for six months. I was devastated. I had never 1344 01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:26,840 Speaker 6: been away from my partner for longer than maybe a 1345 01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:30,080 Speaker 6: few months prior. I became extremely depressed and developed a 1346 01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:33,240 Speaker 6: drinking habit, which I have since gotten over since he 1347 01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:36,000 Speaker 6: is back home. I understand how I acted at that 1348 01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:38,360 Speaker 6: time was not the best, but I was working full 1349 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,800 Speaker 6: time and doing overtime at this time due to one 1350 01:01:40,840 --> 01:01:44,360 Speaker 6: of my coworkers leaving, and still trying to maintain composure 1351 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:47,160 Speaker 6: in the work area and with friends. I didn't want 1352 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:49,680 Speaker 6: them to know how deeply I was struggling. My partner 1353 01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:52,280 Speaker 6: was deployed during the holiday season, so as much as 1354 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:55,600 Speaker 6: I could, I surrounded myself with friends. During Thanksgiving, I 1355 01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,760 Speaker 6: made a meal for my friends and we had a 1356 01:01:57,800 --> 01:02:01,160 Speaker 6: great friends giving and had drinks together. I cleaned up 1357 01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:04,360 Speaker 6: what I could that night, being wasted, and then went 1358 01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:07,880 Speaker 6: to bed. The next day, Neil started calling and texted me, 1359 01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:10,440 Speaker 6: telling me I needed to clean my mess in the kitchen. 1360 01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:12,080 Speaker 6: I told him to give me some time as I'm 1361 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,480 Speaker 6: still a little hungover, but I would clean it, which 1362 01:02:14,560 --> 01:02:17,240 Speaker 6: I did. However, I did not like him telling me 1363 01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:19,360 Speaker 6: to clean it up before I was even awake to 1364 01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:21,760 Speaker 6: clean my mess. He had never done anything like this 1365 01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:24,920 Speaker 6: prior to my fiance leaving, and it felt wildly out 1366 01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:25,480 Speaker 6: of character. 1367 01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:27,720 Speaker 4: This happened again on Christmas. 1368 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,400 Speaker 6: I told him to give me time to clean up 1369 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,880 Speaker 6: before he starts bothering me with this, because more than 1370 01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:34,280 Speaker 6: likely I will clean it. Neil just didn't give me 1371 01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:36,680 Speaker 6: any time to clean before he started telling me to 1372 01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:38,400 Speaker 6: do it on his time. 1373 01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:43,080 Speaker 7: What time is it though, like as Op admits, there's 1374 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:45,400 Speaker 7: still a little hungover after a late night partying. Like, 1375 01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:47,520 Speaker 7: what time is it in the day? Is it like 1376 01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,400 Speaker 7: two pm? And they need to cook or do things 1377 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,000 Speaker 7: in the kitchen and your stuff is still piled up there? 1378 01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,880 Speaker 7: How big is the mess? You said you tried to 1379 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,920 Speaker 7: clean up what you could. What does that mean? Does 1380 01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:59,400 Speaker 7: it just mean you picked up like cups and stuff 1381 01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,840 Speaker 7: and they're still like plates and everything, and then pots are. 1382 01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:05,160 Speaker 6: I have a feeling this has to do more with 1383 01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:08,680 Speaker 6: your drinking habits as well. I feel like Neil probably 1384 01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,160 Speaker 6: could you know, Opie even said like, you know, this 1385 01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:13,360 Speaker 6: time it was bad, right and I got over it, 1386 01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:16,680 Speaker 6: but I probably wasn't acting the best. So Neil's probably 1387 01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:19,480 Speaker 6: seeing this this drinking problem and then attributing it and 1388 01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:21,920 Speaker 6: then feeling like that gives him the green flag to 1389 01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:24,640 Speaker 6: be like a little more aggressive about her behavior or 1390 01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,000 Speaker 6: her character, which. 1391 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:26,720 Speaker 7: Is not great. 1392 01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:29,200 Speaker 4: No, no, not at all. I think it's a power 1393 01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:30,840 Speaker 4: dynamic thing for sure. Yeah. 1394 01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,720 Speaker 7: Yeah. And with the power dynamic though, still it's like, Okay, 1395 01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,520 Speaker 7: there's a limit to where I think you can give 1396 01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,880 Speaker 7: op grace. But also at some point, yo, I need 1397 01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:42,000 Speaker 7: the kitchen clean up your stuff. Also, what was his 1398 01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,040 Speaker 7: demeanor in saying, hey, you need to clean it? If 1399 01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:45,920 Speaker 7: it's just like, hey, can you clean up your stuff? 1400 01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,400 Speaker 7: I need it? Or is it like you need to 1401 01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:51,840 Speaker 7: clean this right now? Yeah, that's crazy the second screw you, Neil. 1402 01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:54,320 Speaker 7: If it's the first, Okay, they're just telling you to 1403 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:55,400 Speaker 7: clean up your stuff. 1404 01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,880 Speaker 6: Come on, Neil, what are you doing? Yeah, definitely. I 1405 01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:00,320 Speaker 6: wonder if Neil would be saying this if Opie's was 1406 01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:00,800 Speaker 6: still here. 1407 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:04,000 Speaker 7: Probably not, because Op's partners already set him to Yeah, like, 1408 01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,040 Speaker 7: you don't talk to my fiance like this. 1409 01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:09,720 Speaker 4: Au me so exactly. She's trying to power play right now. 1410 01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:10,920 Speaker 4: All right, let's let's keep going. 1411 01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:14,240 Speaker 6: So he would text me early morning after events, when 1412 01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:16,440 Speaker 6: he would be drinking or eating with us as well. 1413 01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:18,560 Speaker 6: I started feeling weird about how he was telling me 1414 01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:20,920 Speaker 6: to do things like I was his partner, like he 1415 01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:23,440 Speaker 6: could tell me what to do just because my man 1416 01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:24,560 Speaker 6: wasn't around. 1417 01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:28,600 Speaker 4: My fiance agreed, since this was never something Neil did prior. 1418 01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:30,200 Speaker 4: He barely spoke to me. 1419 01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:32,720 Speaker 6: At the same time, Neil kept swearing up and down 1420 01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:34,640 Speaker 6: that he would clear out items in the living room 1421 01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,920 Speaker 6: he had set up too. He never did, and I 1422 01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,400 Speaker 6: never bothered him about it because I understood we were 1423 01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,360 Speaker 6: all operating on our times because we lived different lifestyles 1424 01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:44,480 Speaker 6: in our up or in bed at different. 1425 01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,120 Speaker 4: Times, so catching up too. 1426 01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:49,760 Speaker 6: Recently, Neil and Liam started hanging out, and Neil even 1427 01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,360 Speaker 6: brought him inside the house while I was home and 1428 01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,960 Speaker 6: my fiance was deployed. I told Liam he needed to 1429 01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:57,760 Speaker 6: leave due to how he left the last situation, and 1430 01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:00,680 Speaker 6: he was not welcome inside the house while I am home. 1431 01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:03,480 Speaker 6: Neil later apologized and I asked him what made him 1432 01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:07,000 Speaker 6: so comfortable bringing people that blackmailed us into the house. 1433 01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:08,400 Speaker 4: He did not have a response. 1434 01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,640 Speaker 6: I left it at that, but ended up blocking his 1435 01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:12,560 Speaker 6: numbers so that he couldn't speak to me as I 1436 01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:16,960 Speaker 6: was growing increasingly more uncomfortable since Neil was directly involved 1437 01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:20,200 Speaker 6: with the situation with Liam. I felt uncomfortable with someone 1438 01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:22,840 Speaker 6: who knew what happened and still offered to bring someone 1439 01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,720 Speaker 6: who clearly doesn't appreciate or my fiance into my house. 1440 01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:28,800 Speaker 6: I started stonewalling him and not giving him any more 1441 01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:32,160 Speaker 6: info and keeping things as minimal as possible. It eventually 1442 01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:34,640 Speaker 6: turned into just not talking to him at all. A 1443 01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,160 Speaker 6: couple of weeks later, Neil says he's working a deal 1444 01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:39,920 Speaker 6: with the landlord and that he'll be moving out, which 1445 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:42,959 Speaker 6: I was fine with. I was happy, even I didn't 1446 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,480 Speaker 6: want to be his roommate any longer. The TLDR is 1447 01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:47,880 Speaker 6: that the deal fell through and he could not find 1448 01:05:47,960 --> 01:05:49,880 Speaker 6: a new roommate in time, and now our lease is 1449 01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:52,640 Speaker 6: up and my fiance and I are moving out just us, 1450 01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:57,200 Speaker 6: no roommates. Sounds perfect. Congratulations, you have done exactly what 1451 01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,480 Speaker 6: I would have suggested to do, which is find a 1452 01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,560 Speaker 6: place for you, you and your fiance to live. Just deal 1453 01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:05,960 Speaker 6: with when one guy your guy, Okay. 1454 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:09,520 Speaker 7: And also, like I believe, when you're in the military, 1455 01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,800 Speaker 7: if you're not staying on base, you get some money 1456 01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:15,960 Speaker 7: for a housing stipend, so that should help you. Also, 1457 01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:19,200 Speaker 7: so with his salary. With yeah, you're both working, you 1458 01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:21,160 Speaker 7: should hopefully be able to find a place that like 1459 01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,680 Speaker 7: you two can be together and you don't have to 1460 01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:27,320 Speaker 7: worry about like the stress of dealing with someone's other 1461 01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,280 Speaker 7: schedule or their baggage or whatever. 1462 01:06:29,440 --> 01:06:31,880 Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say, you know, we don't know the 1463 01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,920 Speaker 6: situation with Liam, but it is true if someone like 1464 01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,840 Speaker 6: straight up blackmailed you and Neil knew about it, and 1465 01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,960 Speaker 6: you just was like gonna bring Liam over and it's like. 1466 01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,880 Speaker 4: Hey, whoa my arch enemy. You are not welcome in 1467 01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:44,360 Speaker 4: my home. 1468 01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:45,000 Speaker 7: Get out. 1469 01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:46,640 Speaker 4: You're crazy. Why did you do that? 1470 01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:48,680 Speaker 7: If I took a bag of lawn shrimp and just 1471 01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,560 Speaker 7: dump them on your bed to go to. 1472 01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:54,320 Speaker 4: We've got so many lawn shrimp guys, so many lawn shrimp. 1473 01:06:54,320 --> 01:06:56,680 Speaker 4: There's actually not that many today, but they just are 1474 01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:57,280 Speaker 4: always here. 1475 01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:59,960 Speaker 6: I don't know where they come from anyway, lawn shrimp aside, 1476 01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,000 Speaker 6: let's finish this story. He tried to approach me to 1477 01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:05,800 Speaker 6: ask if we were renting or buying. I told him 1478 01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:08,600 Speaker 6: that doesn't matter and left the conversation. At that, Neil 1479 01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:11,680 Speaker 6: started telling Sonny, who is close with my fiance, that 1480 01:07:11,840 --> 01:07:14,600 Speaker 6: I told him it doesn't efting matter, painting. 1481 01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:15,520 Speaker 4: Me as the aggressor. 1482 01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:18,240 Speaker 6: My fiance quickly called him out for that, to which 1483 01:07:18,240 --> 01:07:21,120 Speaker 6: he had no response for his wrongdoings. I recently found 1484 01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:22,920 Speaker 6: out he might be moving back in with his parents 1485 01:07:22,920 --> 01:07:25,400 Speaker 6: since Neil can't find a roommate in time. And I 1486 01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:27,880 Speaker 6: don't feel bad since he needed us to maintain his 1487 01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:31,200 Speaker 6: lifestyle but was too comfortable with taking from us without 1488 01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,840 Speaker 6: giving in return. He never cleaned the kitchen, a shared space. 1489 01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,480 Speaker 6: I cleaned the stovetops and cleared off the counters and 1490 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:41,080 Speaker 6: organized all our stuff so it could fit in the kitchen, 1491 01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,840 Speaker 6: and was in charge of cleaning the living room as well. 1492 01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:46,720 Speaker 6: He only cleaned the bathroom, and he only cleaned it 1493 01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,040 Speaker 6: when he was bringing girls over.