WEBVTT - Maria Georgas: Part 2 0:00:02.080 --> 0:00:04.560 Hey, everyone, welcome back to bet your Happy Hour. 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:07.400 I'm Joe and I'm Srina and we are here with 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:10.880 Maria to get into more of the nitty gritty of 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.640 her time on Joey season and everything after. 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:18.840 This is Maria Part two. Let's do it. In past relationships, 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:20.200 have you ever self sabotage? 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:21.160 Always? 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:21.639 Yeah? 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:24.319 Oh kay? Wait? Not always keep a lot of the 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:30.080 time because like for me, it's like sometimes I here's 0:00:30.080 --> 0:00:32.040 the thing, and this is what I think I've learned 0:00:32.200 --> 0:00:34.600 very recently. It's where like I need to trust my 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:38.199 instincts more. And I think that when I tend to 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:42.239 self sabotage or ruin a good thing, it's because they 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:44.080 were it was never mine to begin with. And I 0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:47.360 think I learned that along the way when things start 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:51.160 like presenting itself as being negative and I'm more I'm like, see, 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:52.680 I knew it kind of thing you have that like 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:54.520 I told you so a moment where like I was 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:56.120 like I knew why I was doing the things that 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.640 I was doing. But I feel like I only self 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:01.760 sabage when I know the person's not right for me. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:05.240 And I know that's so crazy to say, and maybe 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.600 I'm jumping the gun and people might say, well, like 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.640 you're ruining it for anything good can even happen? Sure, 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:13.440 but why is it that every time I do it 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:16.560 in the end, I don't feel bad because I'm like, 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:18.800 see like this, like something will happen where I'm like, 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:22.000 that's exactly why I pushed you away to begin with, 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:25.800 or that's exactly why I didn't allow things to happen, 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:28.039 and it just all ended up making sense and then 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.040 something better comes into my life where I'm like, holy, 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:33.440 like this is what was meant for me. And so 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:35.680 it's hard for me to say that I do it 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:37.720 in a way where it's like a bad thing. 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.960 Well, then I don't think. I don't think it's self sabotaged. 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.959 I think it's more just awareness. 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:48.360 Yeah, I think it's almost like because like I feel 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.440 like the definition of self sabotage is like when you're 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.240 trying to ruin something that is actually good for you 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:57.400 because you're afraid of like feeling like you don't deserve 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:00.400 this good thing, or like afraid of getting hurt. But sales, 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:03.800 like with this situation with Joey and like potentially past relationships, 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:07.000 it's almost like you have the intuition there that like 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:10.200 it's not quite right for you, and like you just 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:13.720 that is what's guiding your actions, but you're not like 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.880 fully leaning into it, like instead of being like, I 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.120 don't feel like this is gonna work out between you 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:20.440 and I. I think he was from relationships. I think 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.480 that I'm gonna be going home at some point. It's 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.280 like you're on that fence of like but am I 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:27.440 Like am I right? 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:27.959 Is it? 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:32.240 Like is it that it wasn't him? 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:36.480 Yeah? And I think I. And here's the thing, because 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:40.280 it was so hard to like say that in the 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:44.240 moment because it is amazing, like our one on one 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:47.679 which was last like the week before, but I remember 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:51.000 being like one good moment, we still got to be 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:55.080 real with ourselves here like and so for me it's like, yeah, 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:58.000 we had the best time ever and it was so great, 0:02:58.040 --> 0:03:01.040 but at the same time looking at the bigger picture 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:03.640 and just like really just coming to terms with the 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:07.160 fact that I know which is not me I instead 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.120 of just like saying like listen because at the end 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:12.600 date like like I can't just be like bye, like whatever. 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:15.600 So I was trying to be respectful of everyone involved, 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:18.680 but also just like state my case here, like guys, listen, 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.400 like it's never gonna be us and I can acknowledge that, 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:24.079 and I think we both see it, but we're just 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:30.600 both trying to like, you know, a respectful way where 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.079 we're both like, yeah, I don't know, I don't know. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:36.040 Yeah, you want to see the relationship as far as 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:38.600 it can go, right, Like yeah for both of you 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:40.800 that like you had almost kind of seen it as 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.240 far as it could go the week before Hometown's right, 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:45.160 and it was just that one more week to like 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:48.240 really be like, okay, both of you were like, it's 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:49.760 time to go our separate ways. 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:52.480 Yeah, And like I didn't know if I wanted to 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:54.760 have my family involved. I know my family are like 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.640 they're the most welcoming people ever and they're whatever, but 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:01.280 like again, bringing them into the environment, like putting them 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.800 on camera and like having them go through all this, 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:05.320 it was hard for me. So I was like, Okay, 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.000 let me do this now in Jasper. Give him a 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:11.960 chance to be like Cinara bye bye, so that like 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:13.840 at least I could be like at least I tried 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:16.040 to do it now so he can maybe. 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:17.760 Yeah, like you almost like give him an out. 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:21.080 Yes, And because you know, Jen and like Kelsey t. 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.200 You know, they gave him no issues, and so I thought, Okay, 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:26.680 let me do it now on this group date, so 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.719 I can give him the chance to be like, Okay, 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:33.359 let me choose someone else to like potentially see something with, 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.480 because Marie's already giving me enough problems. Let me just 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:39.320 let her go. And so, because I was insecure about 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.279 bringing him to my family, I'm like, guys, I don't 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:43.560 want to lie to you and say that, oh, I'm 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:46.400 one hundred percent he is my person. That's the only 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:48.880 time I would ever really truly bring someone to my family. 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.440 So it just didn't feel right. And so doing what 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.800 I did in Jasper was yeah, like I said, giving 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.400 him a little bit of a way out, and it 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:00.360 didn't happen that way. And in ways I were expected 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.960 because he was trying to fight for us, but also 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:05.880 I was like, fight for me for one more week 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:08.000 and then bring my fam, get my family involved. It 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:12.000 just it didn't sit right with me. And you know, 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.960 you could sit and like, you know, go look back 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:16.960 and be like I regret it. But at the same time, 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:19.040 I think it was amazing because people got to see 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:21.760 my family how amazing they are, and see how amazing 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:24.120 my dad is, and so for that, I'm grateful. So 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.280 for that, I actually respect that I got the chance 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.880 to do it, even if it's out of my comfort zone. 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:34.200 After Hometowns and Enjoey, meeting your family and going through 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:36.960 all that, which is was obviously a big thing for you, 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:40.400 and it's a big thing for most most people. Yeah, 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:43.640 was there a part of you that maybe thought maybe 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:48.919 maybe this could work out? 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.680 In my head, I'll be honest, I was like, Wow, 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:56.159 this guy is willing to fight for me, to say 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:59.719 after what I just pulled like and and despite what 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:02.000 you might saw, it like, there was more to the 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.159 fight that he kept me there and made me feel 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:07.360 confident enough to stay. I was like, Wow, he's all in. 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:12.000 And actually at Hometowns is where I fully engaged and 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:13.960 was like I was fully engaged, and I was like, 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:17.240 I'm going to give him my all. And it was 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:21.120 unfortunate that that's when he completely backed out, because in 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:23.960 that moment is where I was like, wow, like he 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:26.200 like must really like me. It was it was almost 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:27.640 like to a point where I was like, am I 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.839 not seeing something that I like? I'm like, there's something 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:33.039 must be missing in my head because for me, I 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.880 was like, oh, this is just not happening. But I 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:37.720 felt like I was being fought for in a way 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:39.599 where I was like, Okay, I'm secure in this. And 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.280 then he won over my family, and then he won 0:06:42.320 --> 0:06:45.080 over my friend. He spoke to Brittany and like it 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:48.240 wasn't shown, but there the their conversation was enough for 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:50.880 me because I like, my dad might sugarcoat things, but 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:53.200 my best friend is not. And she was like Maria 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:57.400 like ke'd all in, like don't be stupid, and so 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:01.240 I was having all these outside voice is telling me, 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.640 don't be an idiot. This guy likes you so much, 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:07.200 like what are you doing? So I was like okay, 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:08.400 And then it got to the point where I was 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:11.400 outside and obviously everyone was rooting for me to say, 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:13.600 you know, I'm falling in love with you. And for 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:17.920 some weird reason, despite how well the night went, and 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.680 it did and everyone loved him and he was great 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:24.200 and he is great, you know, but I just couldn't 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.600 do it. I just couldn't do it. There was like 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:29.400 he was sitting there and I felt so bad, but 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:31.360 I just couldn't do it. 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:35.440 And it's not like women's intuition is like so strong, 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.520 and I really believe that. I feel like you, like 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:40.720 your intuition was like telling you something right. 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:42.640 And it's like it's you know, it's easy for me 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:44.400 now to look back and be like, yeah, that was it. 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:47.000 That's exactly what it is. But in the moment, there 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.280 was like this fight inside of me that was so 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.560 like annoying because I was like, I know, I feel 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:54.880 this way for this guy, but why can I not 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.000 just put it into words? And it was like it 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:58.960 was unfortunate, but I was like, no, but I don't 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:02.760 regret that because that was my self protection. But then 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:05.080 I go and screw it up with a freaking rose 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:06.040 ceremony like an idiot. 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:11.480 Okay, so let's let's talk about Okay, So the rose ceremony, 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:15.440 before Joey's about to hand out the roses, you pull 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:19.800 him to the side, and you remember you basically said 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.920 fuck Because here's the thing. Though I do believe obviously 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:25.760 you were right, and I do believe you should follow 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:29.360 your intuition, but when you're in a situation like the 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:33.040 Bachelor where it's like but he you have to kind 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.200 of put it to the side a little bit because 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.480 you have to look at the circumstances of he is 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:41.880 dating multiple people, so that maybe in your head you're like, well, 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:45.520 maybe this is why my intuition's telling me this. 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.280 It's so hard it like really is It's such a 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.880 unique environment that it is hard to trust your guy 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.400 because it's like, well, I've never been here before, I've 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.840 never done anything like this before. Like what is my 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.679 gut really trying to tell me? We didn't think it 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.000 was like we thought it was right that you told him, 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:02.439 because at the end of the day, you leave, would 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:05.440 know what if And I think it's hard for people 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:07.800 when they hold back on their emotions. They leave and 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.000 the first thing they do is, well, what if I 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:11.720 did this? Well what if I had said this? And 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:15.400 like if you do feel that way, like telling him 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:17.480 is not going to make you feel more or less. 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:19.839 It's just going to like give him that information. 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:22.839 Well, like to just give you a little bit of 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.719 a backstory on this one. It's like him and I 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:28.480 were talking about regrets, and like we had this whole 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.680 ass conversation about regrets, and he was just like expressing 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:36.200 how important it is to him to like speak his mind, 0:09:36.360 --> 0:09:39.200 and like even if it makes him feel like like 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:41.559 it's wrong in the moment or like whatever, we made 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:43.719 a joke we compared to John Meher's like it's better 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.079 to say too much than never to say what you 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:48.480 need to say. And so in that moment was me 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.040 kind of showing up to be like, look like I'm 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:54.280 willing to put it all out there because I don't 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:56.440 want to leave with regrets, even though in the back 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:58.880 of my head I was like, oh, my car is 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:01.320 waiting for me outside, but I still said, you know what, 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:04.760 I'm going to show that, like I can, you know, 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.480 like we can have a conversation about what we both 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:09.320 want out of this, which is like being able to 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:11.600 open up and like leave everything out on the line, 0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:13.760 even if it's not us. In the end, I want 0:10:13.800 --> 0:10:15.840 him to like to see that I was capable of 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.319 like doing that, even knowing that it wasn't us. I 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.920 think it was just a moment where I wanted him 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:25.800 to appreciate that, like, despite it not being us, I'm 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:28.120 still willing to let you know exactly how I feel, 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.120 because I did feel that in the moment that I was. 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:32.959 I know, all I said was I'm falling in love 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:34.360 with you. Like so like I sat there and was 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:37.680 like I'm in love with you, Like you know, I'm 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:42.000 so stupid. I couldn't even really say I know. It 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.080 would have been more of like a like a oh 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:45.679 if I was like I'm in love with you, but 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:47.600 I was like I'm falling in love. He's like, yeah, bitch, 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:49.679 I have three other girls that are already in love 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.400 with me and ready to get down on me, Like 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:53.640 I don't care about you, Maria. But it was just 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:55.520 nice that I still got to say something to his 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.960 face that like I was feeling, and so I wanted 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:00.719 him to know that I was able to do that. 0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:03.079 Like I know a lot of the time on the show, 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:05.840 it was like that idea that I couldn't get there, 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:07.960 or I couldn't be honest about it, or I couldn't 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.240 open up about it. So that was me kind of 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.160 proving to myself but also to him that I was 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.800 able to do that. And then I really kind of 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:20.400 knew that it was my time to go, and I think, yeah, 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:21.439 and that's okay. 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.640 What did your family think of like all of it, 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:33.599 like you going on the show, how it unfold and 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.560 meeting Joey and then like the whole like fan base 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.320 rallying behind you, like what was their emotions towards it? 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.920 Well, funny enough, like as soon as I got home, like, 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:46.480 I you know, sat my family down, got my friends 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:49.280 to come over, like I had a serious talk with them, 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:53.240 because again I was I was considered a bully in 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.800 the house. I was the verbally abusive one. So now 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:58.839 how do I know how that's going to play it 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:01.240 on screen when it actually comes out? So to me, 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.920 I was like, I need to warn my family and 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.880 friends right now what I went through in that house 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.120 and how it could be perceived to everyone else. So 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:14.240 if I was so wrongly like accused of things but 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:17.160 also like misunderstood, I don't know how the audience is 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:18.760 going to see me and like think they might be 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:20.640 on their side. So I had to let them know 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:24.040 the worst case scenario in all of this. So I 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.280 remember being like, guys, like I don't know how things 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.400 are going to go. I'm I'm just happy to be home, 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.280 but I want you to know that this might be 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:34.480 the case. And then when things started playing out and 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.240 in my favor, and not only that, but like people 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.880 just seeing me for me and appreciating me and loving 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:42.480 me for who I am, to be able to stick 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:45.480 up for myself, but then seeing also that I was misunderstood, 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.560 that I was wrongly accused, you know, like even if 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:52.400 I didn't have any backup in like going through it, 0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:56.120 it's like the audience was there for me, and that 0:12:56.320 --> 0:13:00.640 was like the biggest Like I can't even explained. I 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:02.679 was so in awe of it because I didn't expect it. 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:05.640 I just kind of want to get through it. I 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:07.160 was like, I cannot wait for it to air. I'm 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:09.679 ready to just like put this in the past. But 0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:11.840 then when like watching it and going through it and 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:13.720 remembering because I remember being in the house being like, 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.040 how are they not seeing that this is so wrong? 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:19.280 How are they not seeing that? Like I'm innocent in 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.880 all of this, Like why is this happening? And so 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:25.440 having the audience see that and back me up was 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:28.600 like I felt like I was like in a different dimension. 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:31.000 I was like, Wow, this is like this is what 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:32.960 was supposed to happen in the house, But like I 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:34.880 have people now to back me up who like love 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.400 me and appreciate me for me, and like it just 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:39.679 felt so good. It honestly felt so good, and I 0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.880 felt like I can't even speak of with it. It makes 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.160 me like emotional because I'm like, wow, I finally have 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.800 people that like like just appreciated me for being me 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:51.640 and like saw my side. I felt seen, I felt 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:53.200 heard like it was. It was beautiful. 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:55.800 I can't even imagine like going through that experience, feeling 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:59.160 like you're like having to be on the defense for 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:03.319 so long and just feeling like you're not being embraced 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.160 by the house and then coming off and like having 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:08.800 that anxiety and like you, honestly you did the smart thing, 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:10.840 like sitting your family and friends down to like prep 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.360 them for what could be and then have it be 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:15.720 like the other way and have the audience just embrace 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:19.240 you so much, like and just feel like you were 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.360 seen by the audience in a way that you weren't 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:24.560 seen in the house for like who you are, Like 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:25.680 it really is an evasion. 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.040 There are so many people I feel like that kind 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:31.960 of the opposite happens. They come off the show and 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:35.520 they're like I'm the star or this is gonna go. 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.720 Great, but exactly what it was, that's like, that's exactly 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.680 what it was. I'm listen, we're great now. But in 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:43.920 the moment I know that they were like, we're going 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.440 to bat for our friend and we're gonna look like 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.960 the freakin' rider Diyes and she's gonna look like or whatever, 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.240 and like yeah, when you're in it, you're like, wait, 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.200 but am I the wrong? Like am I in the rug? 0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:56.200 I was mind blown? Yeah, And so for it to 0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.440 just play it exactly how it went and people seeing 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.240 my side and like being like, are you crazy, Marie's 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:03.400 not in the wrong? Ear I felt. 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:05.760 I just what do you think like the root of 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:08.760 the controversy between you and the women really was? It 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.360 just seemed like it was constantly changing and evolving, Like 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:16.680 what do you think was the biggest issue that forced 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:20.160 this like wedge between you and them? 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:24.880 You know, I really don't understand it because up until 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.200 that point when I figured out, like when it was 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:28.840 kind of going around the house that I was shit 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:31.520 talking Medina like I kid you not, I was not 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:36.240 like in any kind of like like I was so 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.840 good with all the girls, Like I was so good 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:40.960 with all of them. So when that kind of came out, 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:43.680 I was like whoa, whoa Like I was. I remember, 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:46.320 I remember they were all like who do you think 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:47.920 it could be? Like who do you think, and I 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.800 remember saying, I am not even gonna say a name 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:53.720 because I'm so good with everyone that if I say 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:56.280 a name and it's not that person, I'm gonna feel 0:15:56.280 --> 0:16:00.040 like shit. So I remember being like so shocked, like like, 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.120 who the hell is coming for me? Like I have 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:06.320 been listen, I'm very outspoken, I'm not afraid to stand 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:08.640 up for myself. I'm whatever. But when it comes to 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.400 the how I supported those women in the house, especially 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:13.840 when they were emotionable not getting time at night one, 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:16.280 I was like the mama bear in that house. I 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:18.240 was going up to like any girls that were sad, 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:19.680 they would come talk to me. I was like lifting 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:22.800 their spirits, like that's who I am. Like I want 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:24.880 if I'm winning and you're winning, we're all winning. Like 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:28.400 I like that better than like kind of picking side, 0:16:28.400 --> 0:16:30.200 Like I just don't. I don't know. I was shocked. 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.720 I was shocked because not only that, but also I 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.680 knew that I was never talking shit, So for me 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:39.480 to acknowledge the house the way that I did, I 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:41.520 knew I had nothing to hide. So when I walked 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:43.240 into the room with all the girls sitting there, I 0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.520 was like, this is the perfect opportunity to let it 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:49.200 out there, or so I put it out there and say, hey, guys, 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:52.720 like I know I wasn't saying anything, but who felt 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:57.920 that I might have, you know, belittle like Medina in 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:00.600 any way, like who might have missed or said something 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:02.160 that I might have said? And that's when Sydney was 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.800 like I did, And I was like, but what did 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:08.359 I even say? Like I was confused? Like I was, 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:10.080 and I, guys, when I tell you, like, I was 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.320 so confused. And I'm the type of girl that if 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:15.280 I said something wrong or is something that I might 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:17.159 have said could have been taken out of context, I 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.840 would own it. I just wanted to know what I said. 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:21.480 And when she was like, well you told her she's 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.680 not old, and I'm like, am I here? Like are 0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:27.440 we all like are we in the same house right now? 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.800 Are we all hearing what she just said? Or like 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:34.080 I said, I'm old too, or something like that. Can 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:37.239 I preface this by saying, if Medina had come up 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:40.200 to me and said, Maria, I'm feeling insecure about my age, 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.359 can we talk? I wouldn't sit there and be like 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:45.320 own it. You're hot, Like what are you thinking? Like 0:17:45.400 --> 0:17:47.119 get over it, I would be like, well, tell me 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:48.600 how you feel like, if that's how you feel, like, 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:51.399 I'm here for you. But it was me just talking 0:17:51.440 --> 0:17:53.440 to I don't know who was Lauren Allison. I get 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.320 apparently we're all getting confused with all the black haired girls. 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.520 But I was just like saying her, I'm like, this 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:01.120 is what happened earlier, Madina this, and I don't even 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.280 think that she should feel this way because but I 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:06.080 was talking to one girl. Yes, I was talking to 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:08.399 her aside from everyone else, but I didn't think that 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:09.960 wasn't gonna be that was gonna be hurt. I was 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:11.879 just saying she shouldn't want to just saw you know, 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.280 like it's great. But if Medina had come to me 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:16.960 and was like opening up about that stuff, I would 0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:18.719 be there for her. I wouldn't. I would put my 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.840 feelings towards how I feel about the situation aside and 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:23.879 actually just be there for her as a friend. And 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.879 I think that's where I was like kind of like 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.080 hurt because I was like, I'm not shit talking to 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:30.280 this woman. I'm really not. 0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:33.359 And so yeah, I remember when it when it happened, 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:37.600