1 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, I am Dramas And this is the Street 2 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: Stoic Podcast, bringing your daily dose of timeless stoic philosophy 3 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: remix for the hip hop generation. Now, with that in mind, 4 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: let's get things started with your daily shot of inspiration. 5 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 1: Now today we are going to be talking all about 6 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: the stoic idea of practicing resilience, but particularly when it 7 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 1: comes to the haters in our lives, because sadly everybody's 8 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: got one. Anybody who's trying to do something is always 9 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: going to have some naysayer in the background telling them 10 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,279 Speaker 1: why they can't do something, critique and everything they do. 11 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: And if we're not careful, if we are not mentally strong, 12 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: these people can easily chip away at the confidence that 13 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: we need to get our stuff done at the end 14 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: of the day. Right. And I love this record from 15 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: Lil Wayne Love Me a Hate Me and the line 16 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: that he says in it, you can love me or 17 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 1: hate me, I swear it won't make me or break me. 18 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: And point blank he's saying, you don't affect me, your 19 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: opinion of me, does it make me, nor does it 20 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: break me, declaring he's the one in power. Right, Obviously, 21 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: this is easier said than done. If you have people 22 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: talking bad about you, it's frustrating. You have people making 23 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,680 Speaker 1: up lies about you, people viewing you differently than you 24 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: see yourself, or viewing you in a way that you 25 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: know is not truly accurate to who you are and 26 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: what makes you the incredible person that you are. But 27 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: I think when we take the emotion out of it, 28 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: when your rational mind thinks about this, the reality is 29 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: yet this person's opinion, it won't make you, nor will 30 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: it break you. They don't have that much control or 31 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: power over your life. Right, even the most powerful and 32 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: most influential people in this world, you're going to be 33 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: hard pressed to find one person who could truly end 34 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: your dreams or stand in the way of your goals, 35 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: you know, and not allow you to achieve them. Right. 36 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: And Seneca has a great quote about this where he says, 37 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: all cruelty springs from weakness. So I think that I 38 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: find to be very powerful when I see a negative 39 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: comment pop up on like my Instagram comments or something 40 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: like that, right, I'll view it. At times they might 41 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: hit a nerve, right, they might say something and I'm 42 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: feeling like I'm going to go ahead and respond, But 43 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 1: I just have to remind myself where is this person 44 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 1: coming from, right, because it's not from a good place. 45 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: A happy and fulfilled person who is loving their life 46 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: is not going to waste time being in my comments 47 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: critiquing me for some stupid thing. That's first and foremost. 48 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: And I think that's a lot of what Seneca is 49 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: talking about. People who are cruel, people who are being 50 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,839 Speaker 1: negative and trying to bring you down. All of that 51 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: is coming from their own internal wound somewhere. They see 52 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: something that you have, they want it, they don't have it. Therefore, 53 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: they're going to find a reason to hate on you 54 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: because it makes them feel better in some sort of way, right. 55 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: And I relate to this on so many levels. You know, 56 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: I think back to old jobs that I had, old 57 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: co workers, old friends, and sprinkled in amongst all of 58 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: those experiences throughout the course of my life, you know, 59 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 1: there are people along the way who were haters, people 60 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: who critiqued me when I went and tried something new, 61 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: People who you know, felt some type of way when 62 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: I surpassed them, people who felt some type of way 63 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: when I decided to go and try something new. And 64 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 1: at times it hurt because these were people that I 65 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: was close to, be it friendships that I had for years, 66 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: be it co workers, be it people that I may 67 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: have looked up to. Right, Like, I've been lucky to 68 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: have met a plethora of people throughout the course of 69 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: my life, and you know, not all of those relationships 70 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: ended well, right. And I had to remind myself that 71 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: if somebody has something negative to say about me, if 72 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: they're taking shots at me, it's less about me and 73 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 1: more about their own ego and their own insecurities. Right, 74 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: Because again, if they were confident in themselves completely and 75 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: weren't worried about me, or weren't feeling some type of 76 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: way about me in regards to what it sort of 77 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: means about them and their value, they wouldn't even be 78 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: taking the time to address me in that way, right. 79 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: And I always try to take the high road with that. 80 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: I don't react. I don't publicly take shots at people. 81 00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: You know. I'm not sitting here arguing with people, you know. 82 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 1: I try to always take the high road in knowing 83 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: that A it's not worth my time, but B nothing 84 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: that anybody says or does in regards to me is 85 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: going to affect the path that I'm on obviously, anybody 86 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: not believing in you, anybody's saying something harmful, negative, hurtful. 87 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: We're all human beings. We're going to have a nerve 88 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: get touched every once in a while. Right, But when 89 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: we slow down, we think about it from that rational brain. 90 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: Their cruelty is just a symbol of their weakness. They're 91 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: a hurt person trying to hurt other people. Right, So 92 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 1: you have to keep all that in mind and not 93 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: allow it to be something that you react to or 94 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: allow it to be something that deviates you from the 95 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: course of your life and all that you have planned 96 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: for yourself. Now, with that said, we've heard from lol Wayne, 97 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: we have heard from one of the stoics, Seneca. You've 98 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: heard a bit about how I relate to this. Now, 99 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 1: with that said, let's talk about how you can make it. 100 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 1: You a mantra for today. But first's take a quick 101 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 1: break and then we'll be right back. All right, So 102 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,480 Speaker 1: today we've been talking about practicing resilience when it comes 103 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: to the haters in your life. We've heard from Low Wayne, 104 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: we have heard from one of the Stoic Seneca. You 105 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: have heard from myself. Now let's talk about how you 106 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 1: can make it your mantra for today. And I think 107 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 1: for me, one of the mindsets that has really really 108 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: helped me out a lot when it comes to not 109 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: being affected by other people's negativity and the things that 110 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 1: they may say about me is remembering that it doesn't 111 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: really have anything to do with you, and it has 112 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:33,359 Speaker 1: everything to do with them. Once you can understand that, 113 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 1: and you're no longer taking it as a personal attack, 114 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:42,239 Speaker 1: but instead just viewing it as somebody who is hurt 115 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: looking to alleviate their own pain. Obviously, it doesn't mean 116 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: that the cuts you know that they make you don't 117 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: feel them, that the words they say at times may 118 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: not trigger something any Right where are all humans, somebody 119 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: might say the right thing that triggers you in that moment. 120 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: But again, I think you have to take away their power. 121 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: You have to recognize that they have little to no 122 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: effect on you in a real way. Right, if you 123 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: can take your emotion out of it, that person has 124 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: zero effect on the course of your life. All we're 125 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: really trying to do when we create awareness around what's 126 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: actually happening, right, and in this case, it's a hurt 127 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: person just looking for an outlet for their pain. All 128 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: of that awareness, I think creates buffer systems where we 129 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: are able to be less reactive. And I think that's 130 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: the key. Right. It's not about becoming some emotionless zombie 131 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: that is never affected by a negative comment from somebody, Right, 132 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: I think, A, that's impossible. B it's probably not a 133 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: healthy way to live. Right. I think the key again 134 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: is these buffers that we put in place that allow 135 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,239 Speaker 1: us to be far more present, allow us to slow 136 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: down in the moment, and allow us to see things 137 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 1: for what they really are. Right where we can feel 138 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: that emotion that happens, that sort of instant kicking the gut, 139 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: but then that buffer kicks in and separates you from responding, 140 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: separates you from reacting to that particular situation or internalizing 141 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: it in a way that ends up being detrimental to 142 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: you and your mental health or your progress in whatever 143 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: it is that you're trying to do. Right, and a 144 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: recap all we've been talking about today, the words of 145 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,080 Speaker 1: low Wayne right, letting people know they can love them, 146 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 1: they can hate them, It won't make him and it 147 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: won't break him. Right, their feelings about him do not 148 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 1: actually have a real impact on his life. He's the 149 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: one in control. He's the one making the moves, and 150 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: everybody else is sort of just a bystander, right, and 151 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: Seneca reminding you that all cruelty springs from weakness, right. 152 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: Anybody who's being negative, they're being negative from some sort 153 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: of wound or trauma that is unresolved for them. They 154 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: have pain that they need to let out, and unfortunately 155 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: you have found yourself in the crosshairs of that. But again, 156 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: it means nothing about you and even myself. When I 157 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 1: think back to some of the moments that were dark 158 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: as a result of people that I cared about taking 159 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: shots at me or turning their back on me, the 160 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 1: results are I'm still exactly where I wanted to be. 161 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: They didn't slow me down, they didn't stop me from 162 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: doing that. Their opinions of me and maybe their lack 163 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: of belief in my abilities had zero effect on what 164 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 1: I've been able to accomplish in my career, and I 165 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: just have to keep reminding myself of that. Their opinions 166 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: literally have zero effect on my path as long as 167 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: I don't allow them to be something I internalize and 168 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: as a result, don't allow them to be something that 169 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: makes me deviate from my course of action right now. 170 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,839 Speaker 1: With that said, thank you so much for checking out 171 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: The Street Stole Podcast. Do your best to apply these 172 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: concepts that we discussed INTOA everyday life, and I will 173 00:09:49,720 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: catch you next time The Street Stoke Podcast. This is 174 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:09,719 Speaker 1: a production of Iheart's Michael Dura podcast Network. H