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Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here.

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Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry Letter, all right. Subject my neighbor

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Speaker 1: wants to borrow a few things. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm

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Speaker 1: a thirty four year old male who is currently dating

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Speaker 1: a female that lives two hundred miles from me. We

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Speaker 1: make an effort to meet three times a month, mostly

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Speaker 1: on weekends. I do love her, but I have a

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Speaker 1: big problem that will interfere with the progression of our relationship.

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Speaker 1: You see, I deal with multiple girls on the side.

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Speaker 1: During weekdays. The girls come to my place and we

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Speaker 1: keep it strictly sexual and nothing more. The girls are

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Speaker 1: not the problem. They all know that I have a

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Speaker 1: girlfriend and they are all okay with it. My problem

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Speaker 1: is with my nosy meddling neighbor. He lives right across

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Speaker 1: from me and has met my girlfriend and chatted with

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Speaker 1: her a few times in passing. The other day, my

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Speaker 1: neighbor and I were leaving at the same time and

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Speaker 1: he let me know that he is not pleased with

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Speaker 1: the fact that I have so many women coming in

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Speaker 1: and out of my apartment and when I have sex

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Speaker 1: in my living room he can hear it all in

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Speaker 1: the hallway. He said, I should feel like crap for

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Speaker 1: being a cheater, and my girlfriend doesn't deserve that. Then

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Speaker 1: I couldn't believe what this clown said. Next, he asked

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Speaker 1: me to hook him up with some of my girls

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Speaker 1: that come by, and if I didn't, if I didn't,

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Speaker 1: he's going to have to talk to my girlfriend about

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Speaker 1: me cheating on her. He said. He has pictures of

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Speaker 1: the girls going in and out of my apartment. And

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Speaker 1: how on earth should I handle this mess? Should I

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Speaker 1: tell my girlfriend about what's going on and be man

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Speaker 1: enough to accept it if she breaks up with me?

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Speaker 1: Or should I go over and whoop this guy's behind.

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Speaker 1: I don't do well with snitches, and I'm definitely not

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Speaker 1: going to supply girls for him. Well, you know what,

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Speaker 1: writer of this letter, sir, If you guys do break

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Speaker 1: up my chant, please let the record show right here

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Speaker 1: that I will not be shedding one tier for you,

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Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, You'll just be getting what

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Speaker 1: you deserve. Cheater, cheater, all right, this is what you

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Speaker 1: do to someone you claim to love. Come on now, So,

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Speaker 1: so if you love her, hate hate her, hate me, okay,

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Speaker 1: because I don't want your love because this is what

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Speaker 1: if this is what you do now? As far as

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Speaker 1: your little extortionist, blackmailing, nosy neighbor is concerned, he's dead wrong.

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Speaker 1: We all know he's dead wrong. He needs to mind

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Speaker 1: his very own business, leave yours alone. Of course, he's

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Speaker 1: probably at the door listening. He can't hear all in

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Speaker 1: the hallway. He's nosy like that. He's probably at your door. Uh.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if whether he agrees with

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Speaker 1: what you're doing or not. He's just wrong. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he's just out of order. I don't think you should

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Speaker 1: beat him down, though. I don't think that because this

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Speaker 1: neighbor sounds a little cuckoo. So he could get the

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Speaker 1: police involved, he could file charges. You don't want that,

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Speaker 1: um I I know you don't want that, and you're right, Uh,

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Speaker 1: don't give him any girls. You're not a pamp or

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Speaker 1: anything like that. I mean, really, he's trying to blackmail you.

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Speaker 1: Come on now, I think a good old fashioned, like

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Speaker 1: you know, intimidating like conversation with some of your mean

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Speaker 1: mugging boys. I think that might help this situation. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to call his bluff. I don't think he's

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Speaker 1: going to tell your girlfriend. I just don't feel he's

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Speaker 1: going to do that. But I just think you should

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Speaker 1: take a couple of your boys over there and intimidate him.

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Speaker 1: Call his bluff. He's probably real scary. He'll probably back

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Speaker 1: down after that. I think he will. Junior Um, I

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Speaker 1: don't really condone his behavior with all the girls and everything.

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't. You don't, I don't can about

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Speaker 1: all that. Now I'm canting about all that. I don't.

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Speaker 1: That's the threat, is what I'm talking about. The threat.

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Speaker 1: I feel he should forget what I'm doing this, just say,

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Speaker 1: you go, you gonna tattle on me? Oh no, whoop him?

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Speaker 1: Tell who what what did you even do? And talk

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Speaker 1: to my girl? You ain't gonna bid him talking to now?

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Speaker 1: Then what he should do? He should tell him, man,

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Speaker 1: I got one fake. Come on over and when you

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Speaker 1: get in there, that's when you can whoop him. Because

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Speaker 1: now he in your house. See now, you ain't your

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Speaker 1: word about the point of charge. He ain't your house

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Speaker 1: now you scot Now you scot free. Now when he

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Speaker 1: see you, he don't have nothing to say now now

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Speaker 1: because you're not already to handle the business now. So

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Speaker 1: I feel that's his best way to go about doing it.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel no other kind of way about to

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Speaker 1: forget all the other stuff. It's just the threat you made,

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Speaker 1: the threat you made to another man about his own lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: And you don't pay now bill in my house. You

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Speaker 1: don't pay no bills over there. That's true. That ain't

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Speaker 1: got nothing do with you. Oh care what are I'm

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Speaker 1: doing over here? That ain't got nothing to do with you?

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Speaker 1: And you needn't mind damn business or this as gonna

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Speaker 1: be a real lifestyle lifes I like it invite him

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Speaker 1: to see. I learned that from my grandmother. When you

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Speaker 1: come in this yard and you didn't ask you, you

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Speaker 1: called police, but you was in him. We got then

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Speaker 1: she was in here, and that way you can avoid

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Speaker 1: getting in trouble with the police. Yeah, okay, I definitely

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Speaker 1: think he'll call. Oh here's gonna call it. Huh. But

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Speaker 1: if anybody Junior learned from his grandma, Yeah, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what I like. Oh yeah, yeah, called him over to

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Speaker 1: your house. Yeah, that's how you start at a trouble.

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Speaker 1: Call and call him over to your house. Then take

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Speaker 1: care of your business, and you ain't got to worry

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Speaker 1: about the policy because they own your property. That's what

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Speaker 1: you got to do. That's what you got to do.

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Speaker 1: I just ask you, since since Carla brought it up,

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Speaker 1: what what precipitated this lesson? From your grandmother's story. Four

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Speaker 1: girls had jumped my sister and my grandmother got in

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Speaker 1: the car and drove around one by one for my

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Speaker 1: sister could get revenge. The last girl came over to

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Speaker 1: the yard. Grandma said, let her in now. She let

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Speaker 1: it in there, and my sister went to waxing this

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Speaker 1: girl behind I'm talking about now her mama with her.

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Speaker 1: And I've never seen a parents say I will protect you,

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Speaker 1: but you can't protect her right now because my grandmother

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Speaker 1: will let hr come to y'all and my sisters over

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Speaker 1: there whooping your daughter behind and she's saying, mom, and

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Speaker 1: you ain't came in there. So that's how I learned

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Speaker 1: get him into your I love it all right. So

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Speaker 1: far our subject, my neighbor wants to borrow a few things.

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Speaker 1: Thirty four year old male rights in. He's dating a female.

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Speaker 1: She lives two hundred miles from him. They make an

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Speaker 1: effort to meet about three times a month, but and

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Speaker 1: it's mostly on weekends, but on the week days he's

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Speaker 1: got women coming in and out of his apartment. He

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Speaker 1: says he deals with multiple girls on the side during

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Speaker 1: the week days they come to his place. These women

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Speaker 1: do they keep it strictly sexual nothing more, he says.

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Speaker 1: But the girls aren't the problem. They understand that he

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Speaker 1: is a girlfriend, and they understand his relationship and everything.

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Speaker 1: The problem is his neighbor across the hall, and he

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Speaker 1: says his neighbor is spying on him. He's he's chatted

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Speaker 1: it up a bit with his girlfriend, so he feels

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Speaker 1: like he knows her. He feels like if the guy

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Speaker 1: doesn't stop disrespecting his girlfriend, he's going to tell his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend what's going down. And not only that, if he

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Speaker 1: doesn't supply him with some girls, he's going to tell

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend too. So the guy wants to know should

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Speaker 1: he go over there, should he whip the guys behind?

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Speaker 1: Should he himself tell his girlfriend and just be a

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Speaker 1: man and accepted if she breaks up? What should he do?

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Speaker 1: He says, he's not in the snitches and he's definitely

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Speaker 1: not gonna pimp out girls for this next door nosey

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Speaker 1: next door neighbor. So there you have it, all right, Jay,

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Speaker 1: You're up Okay, this is this is easy fix easy fright,

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Speaker 1: let's hear it. I can't believe how easy this is. Hello,

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Speaker 1: police department. Yeah, my next door neighborhood. The biggest marijuana

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Speaker 1: farm going on inside. I mean he's growing it in

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Speaker 1: his kitchen, all on the balcony. Guy that you can

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Speaker 1: smell it when you pull up to the apartment. It's unbelievable. Now,

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Speaker 1: you got the whole place booby traps, so be careful

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Speaker 1: when you go in there. And there's some wild dogs

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Speaker 1: in there. But I can't smell it. I can't sleep

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Speaker 1: at night from the smell of marijuana coming out of

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Speaker 1: his apartment. Sir, it's unbelievable. He's right across the now

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Speaker 1: you'll know me because I was. You see some fine

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Speaker 1: women going in my apartment. It's cup apartment right across

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Speaker 1: from there. He got so much marijuana, I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: all over the place. You can smell the What I

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Speaker 1: need you guys to do, it's go in there. You know,

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Speaker 1: get some what the things y'all used to tear the

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Speaker 1: door down? What did that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, the ram things.

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Speaker 1: Get a couple of those and them ram things, them

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Speaker 1: ram thing and go in there. And handcuff him. Now,

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Speaker 1: he's very very violent, very violent. He's gonna be cussing

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Speaker 1: a lot, but pay that no mind. Okay, I need you.

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Speaker 1: I need you to go in there and get all

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Speaker 1: that male one that he has in there because he's

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Speaker 1: been growing it for years. I mean, yea, and nobody done.

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Speaker 1: And I can't take it no more. You know, I

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Speaker 1: have leukemia and I can't take Hey, it was not

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Speaker 1: about you, Yes, it is to become about me, but

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Speaker 1: I can't take the smell or male one. So I

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Speaker 1: need you to go over there. Okay, I'm not parting

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Speaker 1: with the fine women. Where you see the fine women

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Speaker 1: going in it's the one across the street to arrest him. Please,

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Speaker 1: thank you? All right, all right, nephew, thank you jay

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Speaker 1: uh because you you were acting like this was you,

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Speaker 1: So I said, yeah, not that one. Go across the hall.

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Speaker 1: My neighbor wants to borrow a few things. What you got, y'all.

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Speaker 1: Not y'all not helping the brother. Y'all. Y'all have yet

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Speaker 1: to step in and actually help him with the issue

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Speaker 1: that he's going through. All Right, the man said, the

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Speaker 1: man is barring stuff. Ain't tek what he's said. He

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Speaker 1: wants to bar or something. Okay, you want to bar

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Speaker 1: a few things. Loan hit him some booty until he

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Speaker 1: get on his feet. You know what I'm saying. The

189
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Speaker 1: man down on his luck right now, Loan him some

190
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Speaker 1: booty until he get on his feet. Two boot is

191
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Speaker 1: a week. That's all you got to do. It ain't

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Speaker 1: got to be yours. Find some ugly booty and sending

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Speaker 1: them down the hall and let that relax that man.

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Speaker 1: The ain't nothing wrong with that. Loan the man some

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Speaker 1: booty until he get on his feet. After about a

196
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Speaker 1: month or two, he gonna fall in love with one

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Speaker 1: of them. He gonna leave you alone. You can keep

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Speaker 1: running what you're running, handling you'll bit. Trust me, the

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Speaker 1: next time he seeing your girl, he's gonna be like, hey, girl,

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Speaker 1: you're doing boo. God, you know where your boy is

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Speaker 1: so cool? I love kicking with him. You know, me

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Speaker 1: and him hang out while you gonna keep sending him

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Speaker 1: booted twice the week. He did have to be hooked up.

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Speaker 1: But that's the girl. He won't. He just he feeding.

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Speaker 1: The man is down on his luck. Loan him some

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Speaker 1: booty till he gets on his feet. That's all, y'all.

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Speaker 1: Act like y'all ain't never been down on your luck

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Speaker 1: before and needed to pick me up. You ain't never

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Speaker 1: need to pick me up? Come on, man, I know

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Speaker 1: I ain't the only one loanly man some booty until

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Speaker 1: he get on his feet. Have you ever called it

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Speaker 1: and got a bootylane you ever had? I'm the only

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Speaker 1: water I hain't the only wom Wait what, Jay, I've

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Speaker 1: never got a booty loane. Ain't nobody loan you no

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Speaker 1: booty thing you got on your feet? Come on, you

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Speaker 1: know you're going through something, Okay, how lone your drought

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Speaker 1: ever been? Jake? Your drought? I have never heard you

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Speaker 1: say when I first that was funny? Been that long jack?

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Speaker 1: Just thinking about it? Man, when I first got the

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Speaker 1: la boy, I'm here to tell you man. Oh alright?

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Speaker 1: Email us or instagram us your thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Who are you people? Bootyland to Bootylan and Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast. Who can

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Speaker 1: check that out on demand? You're listening to the Steve

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Speaker 1: Morning Show