1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie and this is Keon, your favorite 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got great stories coming right up. 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 4 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show alive. My girlfriend 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,240 Speaker 2: texted her boss that she wished he was her dad, 6 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 2: and I laughed. My girlfriend started a new job about 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,759 Speaker 2: six months ago. She always talks about her boss. She 8 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 2: has a good relationship with him, and it was a 9 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,639 Speaker 2: great first job. And it was the first job she 10 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,479 Speaker 2: landed after leaving college. By the way, this comes from 11 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 2: Bubbly Principal ninety eight thirty four. And if you want 12 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash. 13 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 2: Okay Storytime is subburn it and I'm Angie, I'm Dakota, 14 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 2: and we're here to give you good advice. Goofly, But 15 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers. We just know what 16 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 2: we would do in this situation, So let us know 17 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments and op sets. 18 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 2: We were getting wasted and I was almost asleep when 19 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 2: she texted her boss that she wished she had been 20 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 2: her dad. She then realized what she had done and 21 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 2: shook me awake and showed me the text I couldn't 22 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 2: stop myself from laughing loudly. Her boss saw the text 23 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: and texted back, okay, thanks, and I saw that and 24 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 2: laughed again. I mean, what else is there to do. 25 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 2: We went to sleep and she woke up and apologized 26 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 2: to him. She is very upset with me, and she 27 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: is even more embarrassed now. She is mortified about what 28 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 2: he will think of her if even her own girlfriend 29 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 2: laughed at her, and she said she hated how I 30 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 2: reacted and it was not funny at all. I feel 31 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 2: really guilty because I know that her relationship with her 32 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 2: dad is terrible, and even if I was wasted, I 33 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 2: should have had the sense to not laugh like a 34 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,119 Speaker 2: child when she was showing me something like embarrassing am 35 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 2: I the a whole judgment from the comments is that ope, 36 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 2: he is not the A hole. But here are some 37 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: of those comments. Asian in Germany says, not the a hole. 38 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 2: You were both wasted. I think she just doesn't want 39 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 2: to blame her wastedself for the embarrassment, and it's just 40 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 2: easier to redirect her anger towards your reaction. Soggy Landfill says, 41 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 2: I'm riding off the back of this response. She made mistake. 42 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 2: She just doesn't want to admit fault because it's embarrassing. 43 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 2: The more she makes it a thing, the longer it 44 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 2: will take for the weirdness to calm down. Rule number 45 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 2: one in drinking is ditch your phone anyway, Please call me. 46 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 2: Rain says she said she hated how I reacted and 47 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 2: it was not funny at all. 48 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 3: Yes it was. 49 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 2: This One comment says you are the a hole. This 50 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,640 Speaker 2: is an embarrassing story you laugh about in a few years, 51 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 2: not as it's happening while your girlfriend is freaking out. 52 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,519 Speaker 2: I get you were tired and probably hungover, so probably 53 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 2: not thinking straight, but you should definitely apologize. Yeah, I mean, 54 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: we've got an update, but I don't think you need 55 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 2: to wait a few years for this. You don't I 56 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,680 Speaker 2: think that's funny, don't And if you don't think it's funny, ah, Well, 57 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 2: And I. 58 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 4: Don't think you need to be an a hole to 59 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 4: like feel like you can apologize for something. It's like 60 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 4: you can be like, well, I'm sorry that you know 61 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 4: I reacted that way and it upset you, and I 62 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 4: don't want to upset you. But I don't think you're 63 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 4: an a hole for reacting that way, because that's just 64 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 4: a normal way to react to something. 65 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, no, exactly exactly. 66 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 4: She's just like, man, it takes a lot to tell 67 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 4: your boss I feel like you're my father right right. 68 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 3: And then be like, mmm, well that's great. 69 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like okay, palay. We do have an update 70 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 2: from six days later. I did apologize for laughing, and 71 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 2: she said it wasn't my fault and she was just embarrassed. 72 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: She really didn't want to go back to work, but 73 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 2: forced herself to go to work. He did speak about 74 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,799 Speaker 2: it with her. He told her that she was a 75 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 2: great employee and he liked her and told her to 76 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 2: forget about it. He also gave her some personal advice. 77 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: He told her that he understands why she felt that way, 78 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 2: as he had a bad relationship with his parents and 79 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 2: he had often been happy when people didn't yell at 80 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 2: him or and treated him with a modicum of respect. 81 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 2: He also told her that she needed to understand that 82 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 2: people treating her with respect in basic decency was not 83 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 2: a huge act of kindness or a favor she should 84 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 2: be grateful for, and it was very important to understand 85 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 2: that when people don't do that, it is usually their 86 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: fault rather than something inherently lacking in her perfect dad 87 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 2: response per perfect dad response, not beating the dad allegations 88 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 2: that we're here, mister boss man. Whatever. Yeah, he's you know, 89 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 2: I first of all, great response in general. So that 90 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 2: is that is speaking facts right there, and that's very 91 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 2: nice of him to say that. Still seem very dad 92 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 2: type move. So you know, I feel like, can't can't 93 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 2: blame her for one of him as her Yeah, it 94 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 2: is what it is. Text was said, and I own it. 95 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 2: You just we gotta move on. 96 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 3: You reply, thanks Dad. 97 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: Thanks literally, Yeah, there is a little bit more to 98 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 2: the story. I think I love her boss now. She 99 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: is so grateful and thankful when I do the most 100 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: basic good girlfriend crap with her. She is surprised and 101 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 2: happy when I don't yell when she f's up or 102 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 2: comfort her when she is sad. I have been telling 103 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 2: her the same thing, and so has her therapist, and 104 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: I think another person telling her that she deserves to 105 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 2: be treated well will help her. And there are a 106 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 2: few more comments. It says, wow, what a sweet update. 107 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 2: Thank you. Yes, your girlfriend hearing from multiple sources that 108 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 2: she is worthy of being respected and treated with dignity 109 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 2: is going to be helpful. Love self esteem is some 110 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 2: lifelong piece of baggage which is going to challenge us 111 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 2: at times. So having those great social supports significant other 112 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 2: therapists great boss is wonderful, and another commentaer says to 113 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 2: add having it come from her boss might help even more. 114 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 2: If she's in the mindset of my significant other therapists 115 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 2: have to say that there my significant other therapist, then 116 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 2: hearing it from someone who is under no perceived obligation 117 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 2: to say it might let the message sink in better. 118 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 2: Opie responds, Yeah, she doesn't believe me when I tell 119 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,240 Speaker 2: her how great she is. Another commentary says he is 120 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 2: an excellent human being. I totally would have passed away 121 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 2: if I was your girlfriend, though Opie said she did 122 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,720 Speaker 2: pass away a little bit and I had to convince 123 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,679 Speaker 2: her to go to work. Alert Potato says, I missed 124 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 2: the original and just went back to it. I laughed 125 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 2: out loud at it. It's sad that her relationship with 126 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,799 Speaker 2: her dad blows, but it's adorably heartwarming that her instinct, 127 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 2: when wasted, is to send a text basically telling her 128 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,719 Speaker 2: boss how great he is. I also think I love 129 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 2: her boss. Opie says she is heart warming. I love 130 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 2: her so much. Seemingly Legit says, you know, her boss 131 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 2: does sound like a good guy. I get why she 132 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 2: wishes he was her dad. No, seriously, she shouldn't feel 133 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:21,800 Speaker 2: bad about texting that. It's not like she was making 134 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 2: a drug tempt to flirt with him. That would be embarrassing. 135 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,799 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, agreed, that would be much worse. 136 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, this was totally wholesome and harmless. And that is 137 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 2: the end of that story. 138 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 4: I dumped my boyfriend because of the Barbie movie, and 139 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 4: everything that followed was chaos. 140 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 2: I'm so excited to find out why. 141 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 4: Am I twenty three female the ahole for breaking up 142 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 4: with my boyfriend twenty. 143 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 3: Three male over the Barbie Movie. 144 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 4: I literally don't know what to do right now, and 145 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,679 Speaker 4: I feel so helpless turning to the internet for advice 146 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 4: or validation. But three days ago, my boyfriend and I 147 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 4: went to see the Barbie Movie. 148 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user. 149 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 4: Not Alaska Kid, And if you want to submit your 150 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,719 Speaker 4: own story, go to the r slash Okay storytime. So Brette, 151 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and we are here to give 152 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 4: you good advice. 153 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 3: Goofy, But we don't have all the answers. 154 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 4: We only know what we'd do, So let us know 155 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments, and OP says. 156 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 3: I had been really excited. 157 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 4: As I'm a huge Greta Gerwig fan, and my boyfriend 158 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 4: liked Ryan Reynolds. 159 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 3: I'm sorry he liked who that's the wrong Ryan. 160 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 4: Other than Ryan Gosling being in the movie, my boyfriend 161 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 4: didn't know anything else about it. I, on the other hand, 162 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 4: was aware of its feminist themes and was secretly hoping my. 163 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 3: Boyfriend would get the message. 164 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 4: Over the duration of the movie, I could tell he 165 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 4: was getting more and more uncomfortable and upset, and I 166 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 4: was getting really sad, both from the movie and his reaction. 167 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 4: I knew we would end up having a conversation about 168 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 4: it afterwards. He didn't talk to me until we got 169 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 4: in the car. He then told me that he was 170 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 4: really offended by the movie and said that it was 171 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 4: the kind of thing I should have watched with my 172 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,600 Speaker 4: girlfriends and not him. I understood where he was coming from, 173 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 4: but I'm not even going to start explaining why I disagreed. 174 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 4: We'd been having problems with his weird comments and stuff 175 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 4: he would deem it a witch crap. Maybe it was 176 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 4: a long time coming, but this was the straw that 177 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 4: broke the camel's back. I was tired of having to 178 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 4: always deal with his attitude and disrespect, and was also 179 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 4: maybe on this girl power high, so I told him 180 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 4: it was over. The complicated part is this, he lives 181 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 4: with me, or lived He has been in between serving jobs, 182 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 4: and since he was my freaking boyfriend, I let him 183 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 4: move in with me six months ago. Living with him 184 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 4: as a whole other story. But I couldn't take it 185 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 4: anymore and had him leave my apartment. 186 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 3: The next day. 187 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 4: I stayed at my friend's house while he packed up 188 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,559 Speaker 4: his stuff. He said he understood and that he didn't 189 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 4: want to live with me another second. Anyways, I assumed 190 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 4: he had a place to go, but apparently he didn't. 191 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 4: His brother called me a few hours ago saying he's mia. 192 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 4: His friends are blowing up my phone saying the same thing. 193 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 4: I feel like this is. 194 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 3: All my fault. 195 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 4: No one has heard from him in twenty four hours. 196 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 4: I did think it was weird when I came home 197 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 4: and all the food in the fridge was gone, all 198 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 4: the batteries in our electronic drawer was gone. He took 199 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 4: my phone charger and half the blankets. I now know 200 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 4: he he did not, in fact have anywhere to go 201 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 4: or a car. He had been using mine since his 202 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 4: engine busted last month. The worst part is we still 203 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 4: have his location and it's saying he has two states away. 204 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,959 Speaker 4: I don't know how he got there. I can't believe 205 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 4: this is all because of the freaking Barbie movie? 206 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 3: Am I the a hole? And there's an update? But no, 207 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 3: you're not. No, you guys broke up, Like you said, 208 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 3: it was probably a long time coming. 209 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, he was living with you, that was already a 210 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 4: strained situation, I'm sure. 211 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 2: Yeah. 212 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,440 Speaker 3: And yeah, if you were. 213 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 2: Already scared of what his reaction to the Barbie movie 214 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 2: would be, I feel like that's already someone that you 215 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 2: shouldn't be around, like much less date. That's someone that 216 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 2: you should just stay far away from in general, even 217 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 2: if you were just friends, you know. 218 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it's. 219 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 4: Like, look, does the Barbie movie have like man bashing 220 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 4: in it or patriarchy bashing in it? 221 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,559 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, if you can't let that. 222 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 4: Just roll off your back because it's a freakin' movie, right, 223 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 4: and that's it. If you're personally offended by the Barbie 224 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 4: movie and your girlfriend's enjoyment of it. 225 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:02,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, just be alone, Like, take a second on the corner. Okay, 226 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 2: you have to sit in the what you want your 227 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 2: mojo dojo coss house to do? 228 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna have to sit in the mojo dojo, 229 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 4: the mojo dojo corner, Yeah, is where you belong right now. 230 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 4: Update before anything else. I wrote that post in a 231 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 4: frenzy of panic and guilt. With a clearer head, I 232 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 4: can recognize that, yes, we broke up because we were 233 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,679 Speaker 4: incompatible and I was at my limit. 234 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 3: Not because of a movie boom. 235 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 4: Some people were saying I maybe needed the Barbie movie 236 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,800 Speaker 4: more than he did, since I was clearly dating a bigot, 237 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 4: and to that I agree. I was convinced I loved him, 238 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 4: but I think I just didn't really understand my value 239 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 4: or feel deserving of someone bettered. I've learned my lesson, 240 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 4: and as a woman of color, we'll never let myself 241 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 4: be treated like that again. My biggest regret is that 242 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 4: my loved ones had to endure him as well. 243 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 5: Well. 244 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 4: I've been cheated on before, but I usually find out 245 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 4: and then we break up. Since I found out about 246 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 4: my exes cheating after I broke up with him. I'm 247 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,080 Speaker 4: not exactly torn up about it. I feel like I 248 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 4: skipped the questioning in sadness and went straight to the 249 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 4: over it. But since I have everyone's attention, I'm just 250 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 4: going to put him on blast right now. 251 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 2: Oh my God, name drop him. 252 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:05,960 Speaker 3: Let's do it. 253 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 4: I can confidently say his beliefs were the worst part 254 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 4: about him, and I'm not extremely surprised that he didn't 255 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 4: respect me enough to be loyal, but the way I 256 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 4: found out was actually kind of funny. His brother has 257 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,679 Speaker 4: been keeping me semi updated on the missing Ken situation, 258 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 4: but I haven't really been asking any questions other than 259 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 4: how he and his family are doing. They're not mad 260 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,120 Speaker 4: at me, as they're aware of the situation. His brother 261 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 4: even thanked me for taking care of him for as 262 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 4: long as I did. He texted me this morning around 263 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 4: nine saying we don't need to worry anymore because he's 264 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,319 Speaker 4: at their cousin's house in Colorado Springs. Then around twelve 265 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 4: in the afternoon, I got multiple calls from a friend 266 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 4: of his saying that he heard from my ex. His 267 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 4: friend sucks so much. I'm not even going to get 268 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 4: into it. I really supremely regret giving him my number. 269 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 4: He was obviously under the influence of some sort Not 270 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,439 Speaker 4: to judge, but it was literally twelve pm at this point, 271 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 4: and he's telling me stuff like he is literally so 272 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 4: much happier now that you let him go, and that 273 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 4: he just felt bad for me and that I was 274 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 4: charity work. 275 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 3: Then he said, now he can be with his mane 276 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 3: for real. Uh, your ex is getting some real kitty now. 277 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,679 Speaker 4: I asked him to clarify, and he gave me that 278 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 4: oh she laughing guy thing they do and they say 279 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,319 Speaker 4: something they weren't supposed to. 280 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 3: Then he said f me and hung up. 281 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 2: This is like so just like deeply annoying. 282 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, just what an annoying guy. 283 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 2: I know, like exactly the type of guy that this is. 284 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 2: And I feel nauseous you're about it. 285 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:30,880 Speaker 5: Yeah. 286 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 4: The potentially craziest part that it's been getting to me 287 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 4: is that he is definitely at his cousin's house. 288 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,479 Speaker 3: His brother confirmed. 289 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 4: I think I'm going crazy because I've seen his cousin 290 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 4: on his Insta feed before and she's literally stunning. He said, 291 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 4: she's his second cousin, and I don't really know how 292 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 4: related they are. If this is real, I can't even 293 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 4: comprehend what this means. Maybe it's not real, I don't know, 294 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 4: but I think it's the perfect ending to this story. 295 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,079 Speaker 4: He's getting a little cousin loving, going. 296 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 2: On h ooh, stating on you with his cousin. Yes, 297 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 2: oh my god. 298 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 4: But hey, you're you're, you're moving on you You're you're 299 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 4: gonna forget about this guy, yeah, and everything. 300 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 3: Your life's gonna be better for it. 301 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,839 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you need to just be thankful of 302 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 2: the Barbie movie. I think if Greta Gerwig found out 303 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 2: that people have broken up with their boyfriends over that movie, 304 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 2: I think she would be like, ah, my work is done. 305 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 2: It was that was that was the purpose of my 306 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 2: aunt is to all the bad boyfriends. 307 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 3: Let's finish this story. 308 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 4: I'm not gonna update anymore after this because I feel 309 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,840 Speaker 4: like I'm already gonna regret this update. But final notes, 310 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 4: he must have taken all the stuff from the house 311 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 4: out of spite. I found out he took the batteries 312 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 4: from the remotes and. 313 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,400 Speaker 3: My hair dryer too. 314 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 4: I don't know how he got to his cousin's house. 315 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,679 Speaker 4: I didn't ask or what happened to my dice in 316 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 4: air rap. But maybe his cousin or girlfriend is using 317 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 4: it now. In the spirit of Barbie, she can have it, 318 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 4: I guess. And yes I know, I said Ryan Reynolds 319 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 4: when it was Ryan Gosling like that. One comment said, 320 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,480 Speaker 4: facial blindness is real. 321 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 3: That's all. I still don't for give you for that, 322 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 3: but that is the end of that story. 323 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 2: That's so funny because I didn't even like catch it. 324 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 2: My boyfriend tried to control what I wear, so I 325 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 2: dumped him, get him out of there. Me, eighteen female 326 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 2: and my boyfriend, eighteen male, have been in a relationship 327 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 2: for nearly a year. I know he can be jealous sometimes, 328 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 2: but I didn't think it could be bad. At times, 329 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 2: all I thought was that he was taking care of 330 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: me and that he loved me. By the way, this 331 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 2: comes from Larer bar one hundred thousand and if you 332 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 2: don't submit your own stories, go to the r slash 333 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 2: Okay storytime severed it and I'm Angie, I'm Dakoto, and 334 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 2: we're here to give good advice Goofley. But we don't 335 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 2: have all the answers. We just know what we would 336 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 2: do in this situation. So let us know what you 337 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: would do in the comments, so Opie says. Now, as 338 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: it was my eighteenth couple weeks back, I decided I 339 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 2: wanted to go to a club and have my first 340 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 2: legal drink out with some of my friends. Yesterday, my 341 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 2: boyfriend told me to cover up as my outfit was 342 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 2: way too revealing. It was a Hollister green dress. The 343 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 2: strap on the dress was two to three fingers wide 344 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 2: and it was the middle of my upper thigh, so 345 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 2: I thought it wasn't that bad. I told him that 346 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 2: i'd cover up in a second to soothe his mind, 347 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 2: as I was doing my makeup at the time and 348 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been able to do it if I 349 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 2: was wearing the jacket he asked me to wear. He 350 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 2: left my house my parents were away on holiday and 351 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 2: he was staying at mine, and went to go around 352 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: his friend's house for the night as I wouldn't be 353 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 2: home for a while. Before he left, he told me 354 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 2: again to cover up. I told him I would and 355 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 2: not to worry. At around eight thirty, my friends came 356 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 2: to my house for shots before we went out, and 357 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 2: we ended up leaving the house tipsy. I forgot to 358 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 2: bring the jacket he asked me to bring, but I 359 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 2: brought a cardigan that was smaller yet had the same 360 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 2: qualities as the jacket, and complimented my outfit better. I 361 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 2: had a lovely time out with my friends and came 362 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 2: back home around three am. I slept in until one 363 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 2: pm when I heard banging on the door. It turned 364 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 2: out to be my boyfriend, as he had seen one 365 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 2: of my friends instaposts from last night. He saw me 366 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 2: wearing the cardigan and not the coat, and he flew 367 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 2: into a rage about me disrespecting his boundaries. Okay, I 368 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 2: will throw this phone. 369 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 4: You say bye, and I can't wait for you to 370 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 4: say bye to this little boy. 371 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 2: I told him that I wore something to cover myself 372 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 2: up and asked why he was so mad. He told 373 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 2: me that I didn't wear enough and that I was 374 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 2: just trying to sleep with all the guys in the globe. 375 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 2: The argument carried on like this, with him saying that 376 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 2: I wanted to sleep with everyone. I ended up saying 377 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: to him that he was too controlling and that I 378 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 2: had covered up, but he was still annoyed, so what 379 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 2: should I have done? He stopped speaking and told me 380 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 2: that I wasn't thinking straight in that situation. He said, 381 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 2: calling him controlling was out of line and that I 382 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 2: needed to learn a lesson. 383 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 3: Heyo. 384 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 2: I told him to get out of my house and 385 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 2: that we would talk later about this. He has now 386 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 2: told everyone that I'm a B word, and I've had 387 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 2: some nasty messages from some of my friends. Amma the 388 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 2: able for calling him controlling about me covering up. Advice 389 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 2: is needed to know what to do next, as I 390 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 2: want to salvage the relationship, but I don't know if 391 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 2: I'm able to by the way, things like this have 392 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 2: happened before, and there are some comments coming. Number one says, 393 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 2: don't try to salvage this. This is a giant red 394 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 2: flag and he will only get more controlling. Run and 395 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 2: someone else responds, Also tell your parents so they know 396 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 2: to change the locks and get extra security. Not only 397 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 2: did he come by practically trying to knock your door 398 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 2: down because checknotes you were wearing eight card again, but 399 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 2: then when you set the relationship can't continue. He sent 400 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 2: his flying monkeys after you op. He says, I've punted 401 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,200 Speaker 2: him out and he's not got any keys. If I'm 402 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 2: in the house with him, I will text my friends 403 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 2: to come get me. Comment number two. Learn this when 404 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 2: you're eighteen and save yourself decades of being with him. 405 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,439 Speaker 2: Jealousy is never taking care of you and loving you. 406 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,160 Speaker 2: It's about taking care of himself and possessing you. Never 407 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 2: be with someone who thinks they can tell you what 408 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 2: to do or where someone else responds yes, and it 409 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,879 Speaker 2: isn't about love. They want to possess you. It's about 410 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,159 Speaker 2: having power over you. When they act like this, it 411 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 2: demonstrates just how much these men don't think women are 412 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 2: fully human and have full autonomy over themselves. Someone else responds, Also, 413 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 2: a person can have boundaries to protect themselves. Ask yourself 414 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 2: why he needs a boundary that involves your clothing. There 415 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,159 Speaker 2: is an edit. After seeing some of your reactions to this, 416 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 2: I decided to break up with him. I told him 417 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: that he was too controlling and that if he wanted 418 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,199 Speaker 2: to keep me, then he'd have to work on that. 419 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 2: He got mad at me and told me that I 420 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,199 Speaker 2: had no place breaking up with him when I was 421 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 2: dressing like a like a or uh oh. 422 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:42,879 Speaker 4: You and your Harlot Cardigain have no place breaking up 423 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,159 Speaker 4: with me. 424 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 2: It is I who break up with you. I was 425 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 2: too stunned to speak. It just blocked him. Over the 426 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,640 Speaker 2: last few minutes, I've had a barrage of messages from 427 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,880 Speaker 2: his friends who I've also blocked. I'll block him later 428 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 2: after I've spent some more as I have a hangover. 429 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,680 Speaker 3: Or of times. Why why unblock him? 430 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,639 Speaker 2: Just keep him blocked, it says, to see if the 431 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,399 Speaker 2: relationship is salvageable after he's cooled down. No, but the 432 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 2: relationship will not stay this way. 433 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 3: No, don't no, No, it's not it's over. It's over. 434 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 2: He broke up. 435 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 3: It's over. 436 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 2: Don't salvage it, because, yeah, this isn't something that's just 437 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 2: gonna like magically change. Yeah, especially after like a few 438 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 2: days after your hangover is done. He's not gonna When. 439 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 4: You salvage like a totaled car, it's because you can't 440 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 4: repair it. You rip it apart and you sell the 441 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 4: components that can be sold and still used. 442 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 3: Exactly, there is no need to fix this. 443 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's just no no ability. He doesn't. It's all 444 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 2: about the self soothing. 445 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you go, if you go back after this, 446 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 3: it's gonna get worse. 447 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 2: Truly, because it's just like that's just what happens when 448 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,120 Speaker 2: people get jealous. It's like it's not it truly isn't 449 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,080 Speaker 2: about you, like the commenters were saying, but like like 450 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,439 Speaker 2: it's truly just Oh, he feels insecure about himself, so 451 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,880 Speaker 2: that means you need to change, not him. He doesn't 452 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 2: to change, even though it's his own insecurity, right, and 453 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 2: that's that's not going to change if you give him 454 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,879 Speaker 2: another chance, he's just going to fall into. 455 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:08,879 Speaker 3: You're in a double down. 456 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, I will keep you updated if anything happens. Thank you. 457 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 2: Edit number two. I've slept better now and read all 458 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 2: your comments about the situation. I still have a headache, 459 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,400 Speaker 2: which is funny as I got rid of a five 460 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 2: to eleven Brunette one yesterday and I saw all the comments. 461 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 2: I saw all the comments about not blocking him, so 462 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 2: I have deleted his number. 463 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 3: Let's go. 464 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 2: But of course with guys like him, he'll try to 465 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,719 Speaker 2: get through to me some way or another. He texted 466 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 2: me begging for another chance on every social account. This 467 00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 2: was in private, but I looked on his account and 468 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 2: it was all the life is better now without her 469 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 2: type posts. I blocked him on everything except for the 470 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 2: yellow app because I needed the snapscore. Lol. You keeping 471 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 2: your snapscore with him means that you have to snap 472 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 2: him every day. Yeah, don't feel like that's the complete 473 00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 2: opposite of blocking him. 474 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,159 Speaker 3: Don't don't be doing that. 475 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 2: Just you, I know you're eighteen. Yeah, you don't need 476 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 2: a snapscore. You do not. There's nothing that will come 477 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 2: of it. Who are you gonna tell? Oh, look, friends, 478 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 2: I have a two year long record with my ex boyfriend, 479 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,400 Speaker 2: my terrible ex. Yeah, no, no, this is. 480 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,200 Speaker 4: This is a great lesson to learn at eighteen about 481 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 4: when to cut your losses. 482 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 3: Yes, this is where you cut them. And you know 483 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 3: what if you lose the napscore? 484 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,440 Speaker 4: Oh well, oh well, that is a thing that doesn't 485 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 4: matter to any real degree ever at all. 486 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 2: It doesn't and it shouldn't matter to you. Please block him. 487 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 2: But there's a little bit more to the story. I've 488 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,000 Speaker 2: told my parents about the situation, and they've paid to 489 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 2: get the locks changed just in case he printed a 490 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 2: key that we don't know about. They told me that 491 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,400 Speaker 2: they were so proud of me for breaking up with him, 492 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,440 Speaker 2: and that they'd shower me with presents when they get back. Now, 493 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,680 Speaker 2: for my friends, I told them about the situation and 494 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 2: how it all went down, and they were all just 495 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,239 Speaker 2: so supportive of me. But I have to tell you 496 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 2: something so disgusting. But I got told by one of 497 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 2: my friends we had been followed by one of my 498 00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 2: ex boyfriend's friends. 499 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 1: Ugh. 500 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 2: In all of the photos from that night, the friend 501 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 2: was in the background. This is the same friend he 502 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 2: went to hang out with. So I'm pretty sure I 503 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 2: was being stalked by my ex that night. And that's 504 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 2: the end of this story. We're going on to the 505 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 2: next one. 506 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 4: I refuse to wear my engagement ring because it lost 507 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:18,640 Speaker 4: its purpose. 508 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're not getting married, don't wear it. 509 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 4: I thirty two female, love my boyfriend forty male, and 510 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 4: we have been together for five years, living together for 511 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 4: four We have a nice relationship. 512 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 3: I love him deeply and I know he loves me. 513 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,880 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user unusual Candy eighty 514 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 4: four oh seven. And if you want us to meet 515 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slashowcase storytime sub 516 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,159 Speaker 4: burd it. I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and we're here to 517 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 4: give you good advice. 518 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 3: Goofully. 519 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,199 Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 520 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 4: what we do, So let us know what you would do. 521 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,640 Speaker 4: In the comments, and op says, I have been through 522 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,439 Speaker 4: heck and back over the past two years after my 523 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,720 Speaker 4: mom passed, and he has truly shown me what being 524 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 4: loved and supported feels like. However, if I had to 525 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,960 Speaker 4: pick what bothers me the most about it, it is his 526 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,399 Speaker 4: lack of initiative to move our relationship forward. When we 527 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,439 Speaker 4: had been dating for a year and he slept at 528 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 4: my place every night, I was the one who suggested, Hey, 529 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 4: why are we both paying rent? Let's just pick a 530 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 4: place that way we can save up for a down payment. 531 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 4: He was hesitant, but ultimately agreed and now constantly says 532 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,679 Speaker 4: it was the best decision of his life. Then, for 533 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 4: talking about having children, I was the one who brought 534 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 4: it up every difficult conversation or thing that needs to 535 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 4: move us forward to that life that he always says 536 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 4: he also wants. I have to initiate, otherwise it seems 537 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 4: like it would never happen. He just says he wants things, 538 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 4: but then doesn't do anything to make them happen until 539 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 4: I ask. The engagement ring is where I draw the line. 540 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,879 Speaker 4: I'm not going to ask for an engagement ring, especially 541 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 4: after five years. He keeps mentioning that he's looking and 542 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,360 Speaker 4: that he's saving. I always tell him whatever is fine, sweetie. 543 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:54,159 Speaker 4: I just want you to reassure him. I know, unless 544 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 4: I specifically ask for it, he will procrastinate. This to 545 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 4: the day before the wedding, if at all. We talked 546 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 4: about getting married next year. We hired a planner, have 547 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 4: discussed things with family, and he told his siblings and 548 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,239 Speaker 4: closest friends, and he calls me his fiance. I know 549 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 4: it may be shallow, but it bothers me that people know. 550 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,199 Speaker 4: He never gave me a ring. Three months ago. He 551 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,200 Speaker 4: said he was going to see rings the next weekend 552 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,919 Speaker 4: and I told him, what for now, it kind of 553 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 4: lost its purpose. He said he wanted to give me 554 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 4: something special, so he saved a lot, and that after all, 555 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 4: it was just a present, so I should be grateful. 556 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 4: The minute he said it, he knew he screwed up. Yeah, 557 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 4: I told him, don't bother. I'll never wear the stupid ring. 558 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 4: He bought it anyway, got me flowers and apologized. I 559 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 4: accepted the apologies, but I told him I meant it 560 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 4: about the ring. He can keep it. I have not 561 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 4: even seen the box opened. It is still in my nightstand. 562 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,159 Speaker 4: My sister says, I'm being shallow and low key a 563 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 4: fool because the ring is expensive, so I should just 564 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,200 Speaker 4: tank at even though I'm not hurting for money. 565 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 3: I do not want that ring. 566 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,920 Speaker 4: It is a symbol that I fell in love with 567 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 4: a guy who leaves the responsibility of initiating everything to me, 568 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 4: which is painful because it feels like he doesn't want 569 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 4: those things. However, he seems truly offended by me not 570 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 4: wearing it. Am I being shallow? And there are comments? 571 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 4: Comment one unclear why you would want to get married 572 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,399 Speaker 4: give in this situation. You seem unhappy, he seems unhappy. 573 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,959 Speaker 4: It sounds like you planned to get married because it's 574 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 4: the next thing to do. Comment two says you should 575 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 4: not get married. It seems you have some sort of 576 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 4: resentment towards him. You wanted the ring but gave him 577 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 4: mixed signals because you wanted him to be the one 578 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 4: to get it for you, as you can't say one 579 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 4: thing and mean another and expect him to be a 580 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 4: mind reader. This seems so petty that it must be 581 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,159 Speaker 4: something deeper that is pissing you off. Comment three Honestly, 582 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 4: if you plan on spending the rest of your life 583 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 4: with him, you need to get over it and wear 584 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 4: the ring you fell in love with him, warts and all. 585 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,479 Speaker 4: Just enjoy your life and let this go. And if 586 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 4: you can't, maybe you shouldn't marry him. I wish you 587 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,560 Speaker 4: good luck and hope it works out for you. A 588 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 4: reply says, I think she is probably thinking he doesn't 589 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 4: really want to do this reply. I think he doesn't 590 00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 4: feel he'll meet her expectations. And there's an update that is, 591 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:01,600 Speaker 4: y'all are giving this. 592 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 3: Guy too much grace. 593 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I can I see this guy. 594 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:04,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 595 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 4: I was a floater. Yeah, I was a floater, and 596 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 4: this guy's floating floating. This guy's just saying, oh whatever, Hey, 597 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 4: I'm just going with the flow man. 598 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 599 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 4: And uh, you gotta be you know, you gotta you 600 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 4: gotta have a little enthusiasm about I don't know, finding 601 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 4: your life partner. 602 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:27,720 Speaker 2: Right, you gonta like mash the vibe. We gotta go 603 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 2: with the flow, no mo. 604 00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:31,959 Speaker 4: Yeah, there is an update. I asked the internet and 605 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 4: the Internet delivered. 606 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 3: Lol. 607 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 4: My partner is wonderful, and I would not have enough 608 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 4: space here to describe how wonderful. But he has this 609 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 4: flaw and I have others that drive me crazy and 610 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 4: I probably do not know how to handle it. He 611 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 4: is like this with decisions in his life in general, 612 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,600 Speaker 4: not just with me, but of course it only bothers 613 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 4: me this much with things related to our relationship. His mom, 614 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 4: who I have a great relationship with, is the one 615 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 4: who suggested having a wedding in spring for the first time. 616 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 4: I didn't suggest that because the priests who married her 617 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 4: would be back in town. We both thought this was 618 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 4: a cute idea. I am not planning a wedding on 619 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 4: my own. He is very much into it, pushing for 620 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 4: it and picking the band and paying extra because he 621 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 4: wants a cigar station, and fighting because I do not 622 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 4: want kids there and he wants kids and dogs. He 623 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 4: is happy and excited about this wedding, but again, without 624 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,920 Speaker 4: his mom's intervention, this would not be happening. The same 625 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,720 Speaker 4: goes for his career, his health, and every major purchase. 626 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 4: His family is aware of this and constantly pushing him, 627 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,439 Speaker 4: but apparently I cannot do it without keeping resentment. I 628 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 4: have discussed this with him in the past to try 629 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 4: to understand. He says it is not on purpose and 630 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 4: that I read too much into things. Floater floating, floater 631 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,359 Speaker 4: fluter You can't just go, oh, I don't mean to 632 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 4: do this. Yeah, you have to go, oh, well, I 633 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 4: don't mean to do this. So I will make changes, Yeah, 634 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 4: to be more aware of when I do this. 635 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,880 Speaker 2: Also what I mean with my actions. 636 00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:00,159 Speaker 4: I will take steps to change my behavior. Yeah, be 637 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,120 Speaker 4: more proactive in my own life. 638 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, clearly not doing that. 639 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,400 Speaker 4: When we bought our home, after his dad suggested many 640 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 4: times we could afford it and to stop renting, he 641 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 4: came to the house saying, Babe, let's not renew the lease. 642 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 3: What do you think if we look for a place. 643 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,840 Speaker 4: I got so happy and then disappointed when I later 644 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 4: learned it was his dad's idea. Of course I had 645 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 4: to get the realtor and find the house and schedule 646 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:23,640 Speaker 4: the viewings. 647 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 3: Et cetera. 648 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 4: Because all he did was complain about the lease is 649 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,680 Speaker 4: about to be over and we have nothing without actually 650 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 4: making it happen. I think you might not want to 651 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,160 Speaker 4: break up, but I think marriage needs to be put 652 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:33,600 Speaker 4: on hold. 653 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 2: I agree, because then, I mean, you know, if you 654 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 2: get married, you're gonna probably be thinking about a family. 655 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,520 Speaker 2: I'm assuming you guys want kids. I mean imagine if 656 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 2: he's like, oh my god, the kids don't have their 657 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 2: bags together for school and you're like, okay, do something 658 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 2: about it. Then, like that's your their dad. 659 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 3: I think we need to find a more Uh. 660 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 4: There needs to be more equity in terms of the 661 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 4: responsibility in the relationship. And he needs to be able 662 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 4: to take responsibility for his own personal stuff before he's 663 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 4: ready to be married. Like, you know, it's not something 664 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 4: you should just do because it's like the thing you 665 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 4: do now. It's like it needs to be it needs 666 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 4: to make sense, it needs to be feel right right, 667 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 4: it's so far it feels wrong autely, and I'm sure 668 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 4: you know you're saying he's a good partner in all 669 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 4: these other ways. 670 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 3: That's fine. 671 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,760 Speaker 4: I again, I don't think you need to necessarily break 672 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 4: up over this, but like I don't think that it's 673 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 4: like all right, we need to be married. 674 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 3: And sign up for that for life. 675 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, if he's you know, just not able to I 676 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 4: don't even know what that like, pull his own weight, 677 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:35,760 Speaker 4: you know. 678 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 2: Like just practically like in any sort of way, he 679 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 2: needs to be able to take care of himself. 680 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's finish this story. 681 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,400 Speaker 4: My mom, who also loved him, used to tell me 682 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 4: to accept him as he is because he accepts me 683 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,960 Speaker 4: and I am no walk in the park either. 684 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 3: I understand this. However, it bothers me. I do not 685 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,440 Speaker 3: know why to this extent, but it does. He is 686 00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 3: hard working and does his house. 687 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 4: By the way, before anyone calls him lazy, the thing 688 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 4: is that I also work very hard and do my 689 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 4: house chores. Why do I also have to plan vacations 690 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 4: or be the one who has the idea in the 691 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 4: first place. He doesn't initiate things. That is the issue, 692 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 4: not any of the other stuff suggested in the comments. 693 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 4: I still appreciate the responses, though superficial, and that is 694 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 4: the end of that story. 695 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: I accidentally proposed during New Year's Eve and now I 696 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: want the ring back. 697 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 2: It's too late. 698 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,840 Speaker 1: I'm seeing someone else and wanted to break up with her. 699 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: That's how you're starting this, Okay. I bought the ring 700 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 1: for a work colleague, wasn't planning to propose until the 701 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: holiday we planned. By the way, this comes from user 702 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 1: proper mistake, regret, and if you want to submit your 703 00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: own stories, go do the r slash. Okay, story time 704 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: zub bred it. I'm key on, I'm Carly, and we're 705 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 1: here to give good advice goofily, But we don't have 706 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we do, So 707 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: let us know what you do in the comments, pretty 708 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: pretty please. During New Year's Eve, I have proposed to 709 00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 1: my girlfriend. It's been posted on my friends social media, 710 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:05,160 Speaker 1: my girlfriend's social media, and everywhere else. I saw people proposing, 711 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 1: so I wanted to go with the flow and propose 712 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 1: to my girlfriend, whilst partially pissed. Can I get the 713 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 1: ring back? And canceled the engagement? 714 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 2: Please? 715 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 1: We have some comments? Yea, right, what is this? 716 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:21,719 Speaker 5: So he was seeing somebody else? Yes, but proposed because 717 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 5: everybody else was doing it. Yeah, and now like really 718 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 5: doesn't want. 719 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 1: To and you and now you're upset with your decision 720 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: to do this. 721 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, I say, boohoo, break up with her, Let her 722 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:34,480 Speaker 5: keep the dang ring. 723 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 1: I say, what are you doing? 724 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 5: Uh? 725 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: Top comment here by deleted. Not been bothering with you know, 726 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 1: online over the holidays. But it's nice to come back 727 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 1: to an early nominee for stupidest post of the year, 728 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,959 Speaker 1: especially so early on. Let me check it if I 729 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,000 Speaker 1: got this straight. You were planning proposing to a work 730 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 1: colleague when you go on holiday, despite the fact you're 731 00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 1: still seeing someone you class as your girlfriend. Hover in 732 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 1: a twist of fate, you took the engagement ring out 733 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,360 Speaker 1: with you on New Year's Eve. Either that or you 734 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: took the wrong girlfriend out. Either way, mistakes were made, 735 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: and those mistakes were compounded when you got caught up 736 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 1: in that the heat of the other people's affection and 737 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 1: proposed to your wrong girlfriend. 738 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 5: Crazy thing though, is that, like, honestly, it's kind of 739 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 5: crazy to me that she said yes then, because that 740 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 5: just implies that they actually were like probably pretty deep 741 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 5: into a relationship and probably had like potentially talked about 742 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 5: this before. 743 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: I'm also thinking potentially because because it's New Year's Eve, 744 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 1: a little bit of you know, adult beverages were involved 745 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: and excitement, but still besides the fact you're gross, dude. Yeah, 746 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: and now you want legal advice on whether you can 747 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 1: get the ring back so you don't have to buy 748 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,520 Speaker 1: another ring and cantad give your intended fiance your accidental 749 00:32:56,520 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: fiance's ring. Well, from a legal perspective, your crap out 750 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: of luck, because a gift is a gift, even when 751 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 1: you give a gift from a moron. However, there is 752 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:11,640 Speaker 1: a solution. Tell your current accidental fiance about the mistake. 753 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,880 Speaker 1: Honesty may actually be your best Pausey here, because I 754 00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,840 Speaker 1: suspect that the realization that you are such an utter 755 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: fungus of a person will lead her to take the 756 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,959 Speaker 1: ring off and fling it. 757 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, honestly true. I think the only way you're getting 758 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 5: that ring back is by actually telling her that you're 759 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 5: cheating on her. 760 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: What if she's into it, She's like, you're gross, I 761 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: want to marry you more. If you're lucky, you may 762 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,959 Speaker 1: be able to find it and then can give your 763 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 1: ex fiance sloppy seconds to your bit on the side, 764 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: and what a lucky girl she will be. Another relevant 765 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:46,520 Speaker 1: comment here by Dusty Pilgrim. Legally the ring belongs to 766 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 1: drum Roll her unless you place conditions on it when 767 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 1: giving it to her. If you were so wasted that 768 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: you lack legal capacity to make a gift, then that 769 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:00,960 Speaker 1: could be grounds for getting it back. Unless the ring 770 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 1: cost a fortune, lawyers aren't going to get involved, and 771 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 1: you will have to resolve this between you. OPI responds with, 772 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,160 Speaker 1: I spent about eighteen hundred on the ring and I 773 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,640 Speaker 1: can't get it back. What's legal capacity? I wouldn't be 774 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,680 Speaker 1: able to drive in terms of how wasted I was? 775 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: I fed myself, haven't I? Another commenter says, cy JG 776 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 1: eight says the common law test for capacity to make 777 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 1: a gift was set out in Ra Beanie nineteen seventy 778 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: eight one WLR seven seven zero. Look that up if 779 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,439 Speaker 1: you want him. The question is whether the person making 780 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: it was capable of understanding the effect of the deed 781 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:40,839 Speaker 1: when its general purpose had been fully explained to him. Furthermore, 782 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:44,439 Speaker 1: in other legal terms, you understood the gift was given 783 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:47,479 Speaker 1: as an engagement ring, you were of legally sound enough 784 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: mine to have made the gift. In my view, Opie says, 785 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,000 Speaker 1: how am I going to propose to my work colleague? Then, Bro, 786 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,399 Speaker 1: you're an idiot, that's your thing? 787 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,839 Speaker 5: That's like, well, yes, his only were he doesn't want 788 00:34:58,840 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 5: to buy another. 789 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 1: Little The only question is said, wait, with all that 790 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 1: mumbo jumbo you just told me, how am I going 791 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 1: to propose to my work call? 792 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,320 Speaker 5: Accidentally take a ring out and propose to the wrong person? 793 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: Hope, he says, We're going on holiday and I won't 794 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,160 Speaker 1: have a ring. What happens if I take the ring 795 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,879 Speaker 1: from her without her knowing? We live together at the moment, 796 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,359 Speaker 1: so I could easily do it. It's not theft, really 797 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,319 Speaker 1: is it? I mean I bought it? Side JG responds with, 798 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,359 Speaker 1: it's not theft. Really isn't it? One of theft AC 799 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:26,359 Speaker 1: nineteen sixty eight. 800 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 2: This guy knows. 801 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: This guy's a lawyer. Okay, this guy has to be 802 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: a lawyer. A person is guilty of theft if he 803 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 1: dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of 804 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: permanently depriving the other of it. It means the definition 805 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,319 Speaker 1: the ring is no longer your property since you gave 806 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 1: it away, And I frankly see a jury swinging that 807 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: was fairly easily I hope. He responds with, doesn't seem 808 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 1: fair to me. That's something I bought which I accidentally 809 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,320 Speaker 1: gave can be classified as theft. I spent eighteen hundred 810 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 1: pounds on the ring. Doesn't the law take that into 811 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: a fact of accidents mistakes? 812 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 6: What if I honestly thought that the ring was you 813 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,239 Speaker 6: actually thought that the ring sized down to a woman's 814 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,840 Speaker 6: finger that looks like an engagement ring that was called 815 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,640 Speaker 6: an engagement ring, that was given as an engagement ring 816 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 6: that she knows to be an engagement ring or suddenly 817 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 6: is yours. 818 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 1: Either this is the biggest rage bait ever or Opie, 819 00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,560 Speaker 1: you are one of the most cluelest people out there. 820 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:21,719 Speaker 5: No, this has gotta be rage bait. I refuse to 821 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 5: believe this is real. 822 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 1: It's like saying, you know, I had a car for 823 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,080 Speaker 1: my girlfriend, but I gave the car to my work 824 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,240 Speaker 1: girlfriend and she drove off with it. But it's my car, 825 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,959 Speaker 1: but I put her name and everything in her name. 826 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 1: It's her car, but I bought it. Can I get 827 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:40,919 Speaker 1: it back? 828 00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:42,640 Speaker 5: So dumb? 829 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,879 Speaker 1: Another comment here by is that Afinka Wan says nothing 830 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 1: accidental about it. You got pissed and made a stupid decision. 831 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 1: Taking something that belongs to someone else without their permission 832 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 1: is theft. Dusty Pilgrim also says, of course it would 833 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,080 Speaker 1: be theft, and Opie says, but I bought it. It 834 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,360 Speaker 1: sounds like a child I think. Gowan says he is lpt. 835 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 1: If you don't want someone else to have something, don't 836 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,799 Speaker 1: give it to them. Opier says, gave it to her 837 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,640 Speaker 1: while I was wasted. Sounds like a youth problem. My guy, 838 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,400 Speaker 1: I Finko Wan says, probably best to avoid getting wasted 839 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 1: with eighteen hundred rings in your pocket in the future. 840 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,680 Speaker 1: Update on wanting to cancel the engagement with my girlfriend 841 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,800 Speaker 1: and getting the ring back. I have had a long 842 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,399 Speaker 1: and hard think to myself, and I decided to hand 843 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,000 Speaker 1: in my four week notice to my boss and start afresh. 844 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:29,160 Speaker 1: I think it's best my girlfriend doesn't find out about 845 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 1: the affair I've been having. So I've spoke to my 846 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,920 Speaker 1: colleague and I told her I'm not going on holiday 847 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,439 Speaker 1: with her, and I've ended it with her. I've known 848 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 1: my girlfriend longer, and my mom gave me a call 849 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:43,920 Speaker 1: saying she's happy. She's always wanted grandchildren and whatnot, so 850 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,720 Speaker 1: I didn't want to disappoint my mom. 851 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 5: No, no, tell this girl and get out. I know 852 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,600 Speaker 5: it's so rage bay, I know it's fake, little effing 853 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:53,239 Speaker 5: mommy's boy. 854 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to marry my girlfriend. Why you don't 855 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:57,239 Speaker 1: even want to? 856 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 2: Don't do that to her. 857 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:02,160 Speaker 5: You're achey, gross, and she's probably hot. 858 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 1: She already planned out the wedding venue on her MacBook 859 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:07,920 Speaker 1: and she hid it from me, so I didn't want 860 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: to upset her. I'm losing brain cells reading this. 861 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, his dumb incompetence is making me stupider. By the second, 862 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:17,720 Speaker 5: so let's. 863 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 1: Go ahead and finish this. Genuinely, I feel bad if 864 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,200 Speaker 1: I were to break up with her. She's been buzzing 865 00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,320 Speaker 1: all day, calling all her friends saying she's getting married 866 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,480 Speaker 1: and taking photos over her ring, etc. I think this 867 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,239 Speaker 1: is the right thing to do, just worried that my 868 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,640 Speaker 1: colleague will somehow get a hold of my girlfriend and 869 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 1: tell her about the times we've slept together. That's my 870 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: final decision, and I think I'll stick to that. 871 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 5: I think you might actually be the dumbest person I've 872 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:41,760 Speaker 5: ever heard speak. 873 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: And we have some final comments. Lord of the Peso says, 874 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 1: if you don't own your truth now, be prepared for 875 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 1: it to come back and own you on later. Blythe 876 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,560 Speaker 1: Objective says, I just can't put into words how terrible 877 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:59,600 Speaker 1: Opiece decision is. It's like the worst possible outcome. Imperial 878 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,920 Speaker 1: Seals says, really feel for his fiance, cowardly piece of crap, 879 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 1: move from op here. All it takes for it to 880 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,799 Speaker 1: all come crashing down is the other woman to get 881 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,160 Speaker 1: a little jealous after they're married. But it will be 882 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:15,320 Speaker 1: his fiance who gets hurt the most. Desdemona says, imagine 883 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:17,520 Speaker 1: this guy's children asking him how he proposed to his 884 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:21,200 Speaker 1: wife and I respect females one two three, What a 885 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: lucky woman she is. That is the end of that story. Yikes, 886 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,319 Speaker 1: I hope it's I hope that's all rage bait, because. 887 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 5: Boy oh boy, I think the only way I can 888 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,800 Speaker 5: possibly I can only view that on with the story 889 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 5: is rage bait. And that's the end of this story. 890 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,359 Speaker 5: We're gonna go to the next one. 891 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,000 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite short king. We're going to 892 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,719 Speaker 1: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of 893 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:42,880 Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors. 894 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 5: My girlfriend tested me and it didn't sit. 895 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:46,920 Speaker 2: Well with me. 896 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,359 Speaker 1: Maybe you should stand up for it. 897 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,280 Speaker 5: My girlfriend told me that she tested me by canceling 898 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 5: a date when we first started to go out. It 899 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,960 Speaker 5: was the date where we were kind of planning to 900 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,239 Speaker 5: hook up for the first time for contact. She lives 901 00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 5: in the city while I have an hour drive by 902 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,319 Speaker 5: the way. This comes from Horror Intelligent three four eight 903 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 5: And if you want us to make your own stories, 904 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,360 Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime subread it. I'm Carly, 905 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:13,520 Speaker 5: I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, 906 00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:15,320 Speaker 5: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 907 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:16,560 Speaker 5: what we would do, so let us know what you 908 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:20,200 Speaker 5: would do in the comments, and NOP says she waited 909 00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 5: until I was halfway to the city before canceling. I 910 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,200 Speaker 5: remember texting her as I got into the car and 911 00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,320 Speaker 5: telling her I was on my way, and she still 912 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,399 Speaker 5: waited until I was halfway to the city. She had 913 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,920 Speaker 5: a lot of opportunity to cancel before I had driven 914 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 5: half an hour. The date being canceled sucked, but she 915 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,839 Speaker 5: told me she was feeling sick, and I told her 916 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 5: it was okay and told her to get better. I 917 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,160 Speaker 5: had also asked her if she wanted me to come over, 918 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,680 Speaker 5: and she said she didn't want to. She told me 919 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,160 Speaker 5: that it was a big moment for our relationship as 920 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,080 Speaker 5: she found out that I am very considerate. But honestly, 921 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,520 Speaker 5: I get why she wanted to test me, but I'm 922 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,719 Speaker 5: really pissed off in the way she tested me. She 923 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,960 Speaker 5: had no consideration for my time and effort. It was 924 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,880 Speaker 5: as if she really wanted to inconvenience me to see. 925 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 2: How I would react. 926 00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:04,920 Speaker 1: Also, your gas. 927 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, more so than gass. I told her that it 928 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:10,360 Speaker 5: was pretty inconsiderate to wait until I had driven halfway 929 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,920 Speaker 5: to cancel, and she had been really inconsiderate in the 930 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 5: way she tested me. She apologized half heartedly and then 931 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,200 Speaker 5: said it was not a big deal, and it has 932 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 5: been four months. I told her it was a big 933 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,960 Speaker 5: deal to me, and we had an argument about it. 934 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,520 Speaker 5: I feel like an a hole because it feels really 935 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 5: small to get mad about. Am I the A whole judgment? 936 00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,239 Speaker 1: Not the A whole I would be upset about it. 937 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:35,279 Speaker 5: Top relevant comments interesting CE seventy eight fifteen. Not the 938 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 5: a hole. I'm a woman, and women who test men 939 00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 5: piss me off. If you need to see how a 940 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,240 Speaker 5: dude would respond to a certain situation, you can always 941 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 5: pose a hypothetical. Hey, so the other day my friend 942 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,719 Speaker 5: had to cancel on a guy who was honest way 943 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 5: to see her, and he got all mad. At least 944 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,440 Speaker 5: she's seeing the red flags now, then see what the 945 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:56,760 Speaker 5: guy says. It's not rocket surgery. Testing is another word 946 00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,160 Speaker 5: for manipulating, and it's gross, Opie says. I'm I mean, 947 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 5: I kind of get it though some people say all 948 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,759 Speaker 5: the right things but never carry through. I wouldn't mind 949 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,320 Speaker 5: if she had canceled that date before I left my home. 950 00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:10,080 Speaker 5: It's just that she waited until I had left home 951 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:14,240 Speaker 5: and driven halfway over till she canceled. That I feel 952 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 5: is an issue for me. Loved me long time, says 953 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 5: she should have kept quiet about her little test. Your 954 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:23,160 Speaker 5: behavior on that day was appropriate and consider it good 955 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,359 Speaker 5: for you. Obviously you passed. But now going forward, when 956 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,360 Speaker 5: anything comes up, you may be wondering, is this a test? 957 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:33,000 Speaker 5: And is this a test? And is this a test? 958 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,840 Speaker 5: Because yeah, it might be. You need to have a 959 00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,640 Speaker 5: little discussion about this. This is not a small thing 960 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:39,440 Speaker 5: to get mad about. 961 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:40,480 Speaker 2: Not the a hole. 962 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,600 Speaker 5: Storm Grin says this right here, She's now admitted to 963 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,520 Speaker 5: lying to test you. So how the heck could you 964 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,960 Speaker 5: possibly rely on what she says? Now? You could make 965 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 5: yourself go crazy second guessing her actions. Not the a hole. 966 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:52,839 Speaker 5: There's better women out there. 967 00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:54,120 Speaker 1: Break up. 968 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:56,600 Speaker 5: Everybody in these homents are saying break up. I'm kind 969 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,720 Speaker 5: of like, listen, you're four months in, things are fresh. 970 00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,399 Speaker 5: This was a while ago. You sit down and you say, hey, 971 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,759 Speaker 5: really didn't like that. It's kind of still upsetting me. 972 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 5: Can we like make a promise that if you ever 973 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,160 Speaker 5: feel the need to like test me again, we. 974 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:12,520 Speaker 2: Just like talk about it. 975 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, And also like you're now everything feels like it 976 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:16,839 Speaker 1: might be a test from here on out. 977 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,040 Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying. That's why you're like, we promise 978 00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:19,680 Speaker 5: no more tests. 979 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. This is I think is a conversation. But 980 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 1: the thing I don't like is how she responded. It 981 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,799 Speaker 1: was like it wasn't that big of a deal. 982 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,799 Speaker 5: I just don't think. Yeah, that's why I might sit 983 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,320 Speaker 5: down and tell her that it actually was. 984 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,120 Speaker 1: Waits it four months in, it's a big deal. 985 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,279 Speaker 5: Throw it away, though, says not the A Hop. People 986 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,759 Speaker 5: who test their significant others in any way are walk 987 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:39,279 Speaker 5: in red flags the elite, it says, not the A Hop. 988 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:41,880 Speaker 5: I dump a girl who fed with my time just 989 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,439 Speaker 5: to test me in a heartbeat, I'm not a guinea pig, 990 00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,120 Speaker 5: and you don't have the right to toy with me 991 00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,319 Speaker 5: such disrespect. 992 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,319 Speaker 1: I think the comments are coming a little aggressive here. 993 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,360 Speaker 5: I think the comments are a little bit aggressive to 994 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,680 Speaker 5: the situation. I think that it can warrant a conversation 995 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,200 Speaker 5: that's hopefully leading to an apology. First, if she continues 996 00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 5: to like double down and still test you, then sure, 997 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,240 Speaker 5: then that's like girl, what are you doing? 998 00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 2: Oh? 999 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:04,719 Speaker 5: Yeah? 1000 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,680 Speaker 1: That And I would also agree again when she how 1001 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,680 Speaker 1: she responded so not that big of a deal, then 1002 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,120 Speaker 1: I'd be like, all right, we have to have a 1003 00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,919 Speaker 1: real conversation because not okay, the way she did the test, 1004 00:44:15,239 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 1: doing the test, all of it not not great in 1005 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,279 Speaker 1: any pi. Yeah, it's very very dumb, and the way 1006 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,359 Speaker 1: she did it and the way she went about it 1007 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:24,440 Speaker 1: very dumb. 1008 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:28,240 Speaker 5: Update two months later, my post received a lot of attention, 1009 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,160 Speaker 5: and I saw a lot of people supporting me and 1010 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,239 Speaker 5: a few giving a different perspective. I decided I need 1011 00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,719 Speaker 5: to have one more conversation about it with her, but 1012 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 5: she didn't respond well and got defensive and started to 1013 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 5: try to make me seem like a crappy boyfriend. 1014 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,359 Speaker 1: Ooof and this is where you say, you know what, 1015 00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,000 Speaker 1: this is my test. 1016 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,080 Speaker 5: I broke up with her a week after I posted it. 1017 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:47,839 Speaker 2: Woo. 1018 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:49,799 Speaker 5: I think I would have been able to get over 1019 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,319 Speaker 5: it if she had felt guilty about it and apologized, 1020 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:54,480 Speaker 5: but she didn't think it was a big deal at all, 1021 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,480 Speaker 5: and just tried to make me feel bad that I 1022 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:57,399 Speaker 5: even brought it up. 1023 00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:01,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I, I said, And if she kept 1024 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 1: going with it, she's. 1025 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:06,160 Speaker 5: Gonna double down on that, Like that's she'll always test you. 1026 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,360 Speaker 5: You're just never gonna be able to live in peace. 1027 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,000 Speaker 1: And the fact that she could be like, it's not 1028 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,000 Speaker 1: that big of a deal. It's not that big of 1029 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:12,359 Speaker 1: a deal. 1030 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:17,160 Speaker 5: You made me drive an hour for nothing, almost two hours. 1031 00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:19,680 Speaker 1: It could have been two hours too. Let him fully 1032 00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:21,560 Speaker 1: get it if she Yeah, can you imagine if she'd 1033 00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,920 Speaker 1: let that would be insane. 1034 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 5: If I was actually already there, I'd be like, I'm 1035 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:26,280 Speaker 5: bringing you soup or something. 1036 00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:30,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. Well, you dodged a bullet there. 1037 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:32,879 Speaker 1: Op the fact the fact that she didn't own any 1038 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:37,840 Speaker 1: of that and just blatantly won't take accountability and doesn't 1039 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,960 Speaker 1: see your side of things. You dodged a bullet, so 1040 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:41,960 Speaker 1: good for you. 1041 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:42,239 Speaker 4: OP. 1042 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,400 Speaker 5: Breaking up with her didn't go well. She called me 1043 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:47,520 Speaker 5: names and then accused me of breaking up with her 1044 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:48,560 Speaker 5: so that I could date men. 1045 00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,360 Speaker 2: I am by well. 1046 00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,320 Speaker 5: I am happy that I broke up with her early 1047 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,120 Speaker 5: on instead of wasting my time on her. I seem 1048 00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,080 Speaker 5: to be attracted to and attract the tension of controlling people, 1049 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,480 Speaker 5: and I need to work on that. And I'm going 1050 00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:04,880 Speaker 5: to stay single for a while. Some final top relevant comments, 1051 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,920 Speaker 5: Commenter one says message her in a month and say 1052 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,120 Speaker 5: dumping her was a test, then again an hour later 1053 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,160 Speaker 5: to say the previous message was a test. Obi says, 1054 00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,279 Speaker 5: this is hilarious, but I'm planning to block her and 1055 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,759 Speaker 5: lose her number entire Kangaroo one four eight said that's 1056 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:23,000 Speaker 5: a classier and the right thing to do. The idea 1057 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:27,040 Speaker 5: is still hilarious. Deleted says, dude, don't blame yourself for 1058 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,560 Speaker 5: the crabby people you meet in life. It's not like 1059 00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,080 Speaker 5: you appreciate people who try to control you. You just 1060 00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,480 Speaker 5: happen to find one. Another commenter says, sometimes people do 1061 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,400 Speaker 5: attract certain types. I only realized after quite a while 1062 00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:41,759 Speaker 5: that I attract really needy people, realizing that I was 1063 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,120 Speaker 5: able to make an effort to find different partners. Another 1064 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,759 Speaker 5: commenter says, wow, and she turned out to be biphobic. 1065 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,480 Speaker 5: Good job on leaving that situation. It really was an 1066 00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:55,280 Speaker 5: inconsiderate test. Another commenter says, so let me get this straight. Hey, 1067 00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,040 Speaker 5: she canceled on you when you'd driven halfway there. That 1068 00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:00,719 Speaker 5: alone isn't an issue. People can go from fine to 1069 00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,640 Speaker 5: ill in way less than thirty minutes. It kind of sucks, 1070 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,000 Speaker 5: But the rest of the stuff here makes this seriously 1071 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:09,760 Speaker 5: not okay. B She later reveals it was a test 1072 00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,719 Speaker 5: and she wasn't unwell after all. The fact she said 1073 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,080 Speaker 5: that at all is an issue, and that soon after 1074 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,640 Speaker 5: that fact is a red flag on its own. See 1075 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,440 Speaker 5: she doesn't apologize and gets pissed off about it without 1076 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,879 Speaker 5: realizing she was in the wrong issue too. D Wait, 1077 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,680 Speaker 5: when you are very rightly left the blatant fi phobia? 1078 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:28,720 Speaker 5: Need I say more? 1079 00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:29,480 Speaker 2: If you were to. 1080 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:32,759 Speaker 5: Date a guy after that's not even her effing business. 1081 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,040 Speaker 5: You didn't do anything wrong here obviously, Just block and 1082 00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:38,400 Speaker 5: move on and that is the end of that story. 1083 00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:43,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds like you dodged a bullet, dodged a big one. 1084 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,759 Speaker 1: My friend ruined our resort getaway and made everything about her. 1085 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,600 Speaker 7: Of course she did so. 1086 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:52,040 Speaker 1: I female thirty five, am currently on holiday at a 1087 00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:55,200 Speaker 1: resort with my friend, also female thirty five, who I 1088 00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:56,160 Speaker 1: love dearly. 1089 00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,360 Speaker 7: No, they're both thirty five. 1090 00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:02,400 Speaker 1: At the hotel, there are a few coveted cabanas that 1091 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:06,080 Speaker 1: are first come, first served. This morning, I got up 1092 00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,520 Speaker 1: early and four went breakfast, hoping to get one for us. 1093 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,120 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a user bad Land 1094 00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,759 Speaker 1: on holiday. Wow. And if you want to meet your 1095 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:18,080 Speaker 1: own stories. Go do the r slash okay, storytime, separate it. 1096 00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:20,279 Speaker 1: I'm key On, I'm Riley, and we're here to give 1097 00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:20,800 Speaker 1: good advice. 1098 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:21,440 Speaker 3: Goofully. 1099 00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:23,279 Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 1100 00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 1: what we do. So let us know what you'd do 1101 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:31,200 Speaker 1: in the comments, pretty pretty please. Already we're reserved with towels. 1102 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,640 Speaker 1: The pool manager comes and I ask him about it, 1103 00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,240 Speaker 1: because they have signs all over that if the cabana 1104 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,120 Speaker 1: is unoccupied for more than thirty minutes, they will remove 1105 00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:41,640 Speaker 1: your stuff so someone else can use it. The manager 1106 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,239 Speaker 1: tells me everyone came down at six am, put down 1107 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,719 Speaker 1: their towels and went back to bed. It is a 1108 00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:48,400 Speaker 1: round eight, so I asked him if that means they 1109 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:51,120 Speaker 1: should be free now because of the thirty minute rule. 1110 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,960 Speaker 1: He does agree and freese up one for us. I 1111 00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,480 Speaker 1: lie down. My friend joins me and I tell her 1112 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,399 Speaker 1: the story. We agree that should someone come and try 1113 00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 1: to claim it, we will show them the sign and 1114 00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:05,320 Speaker 1: point them to the manager. An hour later, a woman 1115 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:09,560 Speaker 1: comes up and says where in her kamana. I tell 1116 00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,840 Speaker 1: her that the manager freed it up for us because 1117 00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:14,520 Speaker 1: of the thirty minute rule, but she calls the manager over, 1118 00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,520 Speaker 1: who tells us we can switch to the next one, 1119 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:20,320 Speaker 1: which was also now empty for the last three hours. 1120 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,319 Speaker 1: The woman says no, her friend is reserving that one. 1121 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,600 Speaker 1: I'm a bit annoyed at this point and say again, well, 1122 00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,440 Speaker 1: there's a rule, and I don't think it's fair we 1123 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,640 Speaker 1: have to move. My friend then chimes in and says 1124 00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:36,399 Speaker 1: it's fine, we will leave. I accept, I don't want 1125 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,759 Speaker 1: to argue further, and we pack our stuff, and then 1126 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,040 Speaker 1: my friend walks up to the woman and apologizes. 1127 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,480 Speaker 7: Okay, this better not ruin your your resort thing. 1128 00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,920 Speaker 1: I mean, why are we doing that? We nothing, No 1129 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:50,720 Speaker 1: rules were broken. If anything, we followed the rules. Damn. 1130 00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,360 Speaker 1: Why are we accommodating to this random woman who didn't 1131 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:57,520 Speaker 1: wait her turn or she'd left. Sucks to suck, she says. 1132 00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,600 Speaker 1: The manager said it's okay. We're really sorry. We didn't 1133 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,960 Speaker 1: know it was occupied. The woman says it's okay and 1134 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:07,120 Speaker 1: shoots me a dirty look. Ew Karen, my friend and 1135 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,440 Speaker 1: I are now a different spot with a regular son lounger, 1136 00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:11,640 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to get back to a regularly happy 1137 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,600 Speaker 1: holiday mood. But I'm honestly hurt that she didn't have 1138 00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,680 Speaker 1: my back. She says, I'm ruining our vacation by being 1139 00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,560 Speaker 1: so silent, And I get her point, but I'm trying 1140 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,160 Speaker 1: really hard to not feel hurt. I feel she cared 1141 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,520 Speaker 1: more about that lady she will never see again, not 1142 00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:29,239 Speaker 1: being mad at her and then supporting me. And even 1143 00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:31,520 Speaker 1: though it shouldn't matter, it feels like I'm the angry 1144 00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,160 Speaker 1: black lady while my white friend is the good one. 1145 00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,600 Speaker 1: On the other hand, I understand it's stupid to be 1146 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,520 Speaker 1: mad about a thing with a effing cabana. I know 1147 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:41,600 Speaker 1: I will calm down in a bit. But am I 1148 00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:43,640 Speaker 1: the a hole for needing some space and time to 1149 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,000 Speaker 1: get over feeling unsupported? Sorry, this is longer than I 1150 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:48,880 Speaker 1: thought it would be. There is a consensus, but we 1151 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:49,560 Speaker 1: don't know yet. 1152 00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:51,000 Speaker 7: I'm gonna say you're the a whole. 1153 00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,400 Speaker 1: I think you're overreacting a little bit. 1154 00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 7: Yeah, what do the consistents say? Please do not say 1155 00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:56,120 Speaker 7: not the A whole? 1156 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:57,319 Speaker 1: Not the a whole? 1157 00:50:57,360 --> 00:51:01,440 Speaker 7: Oh my god, that's crazy. She's the ale. 1158 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 1: Yeah whatever, though most people say the manager is and 1159 00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:09,479 Speaker 1: to complain about him. Update one hour later, Oh boy, 1160 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,000 Speaker 1: for one hour later, not even five. Thought i'd give 1161 00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,120 Speaker 1: you a quick update, girl, Why are you giving us 1162 00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,799 Speaker 1: an update? Go enjoy your vacation. Honestly, I'm thankful for 1163 00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,080 Speaker 1: all of your comments and I just read all of them. 1164 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,440 Speaker 1: So my friend and I talked it out. I told 1165 00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:25,239 Speaker 1: her I was hurt by her not having my back, 1166 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:28,759 Speaker 1: and she apologized and explained that this confrontation was just 1167 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:32,319 Speaker 1: very uncomfortable for her. Some of you clocked it. She's 1168 00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:36,319 Speaker 1: in general rather conflict averse. She would rather not have 1169 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,040 Speaker 1: been in the cabana than having to potentially deal with 1170 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,719 Speaker 1: a guest. I told her, I understand this, but I 1171 00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,640 Speaker 1: wish she had communicated this clearly. In me, I would 1172 00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:47,760 Speaker 1: have left with her long before the lady came, because 1173 00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,520 Speaker 1: I think us enjoying the day is more important than 1174 00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,600 Speaker 1: having the softest bed around the pool. She understands why 1175 00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:56,600 Speaker 1: her apologizing felt like throwing me under the bus. Please 1176 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,560 Speaker 1: don't think of her as a bad friend from this 1177 00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,640 Speaker 1: one interaction. You are only getting my point of view. 1178 00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,920 Speaker 1: And also she's been a great friend to me for 1179 00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,120 Speaker 1: twelve years and is amazing in many many ways. 1180 00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:08,839 Speaker 7: Did other people blow this up? 1181 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,600 Speaker 4: Did other people not see that this is just like 1182 00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:14,200 Speaker 4: a little thing and we should not even be here 1183 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:14,640 Speaker 4: right now. 1184 00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:18,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is like one little tiny thing that really 1185 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:22,120 Speaker 1: I don't know why we had to post about this. Yeah, 1186 00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:24,680 Speaker 1: this could have been like okay, girlypop, that sucked. But 1187 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:29,439 Speaker 1: we're on holiday. We go on holiday together every year 1188 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:31,960 Speaker 1: and this is the first time we had any issue 1189 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,279 Speaker 1: with each other. So in summary, we are good and 1190 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,560 Speaker 1: spend a nice day on the sun lounger. We have 1191 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:39,239 Speaker 1: a little left here, just do it. I'm just gonna 1192 00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:39,640 Speaker 1: finish it up. 1193 00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:39,879 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1194 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,719 Speaker 8: Use, I'm like, why, out of all the things that 1195 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:47,320 Speaker 8: I've read on Reddit, this was like a water drop? Yeah, 1196 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:50,799 Speaker 8: like we we didn't spill anything, like droplet hit the floor. 1197 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:54,120 Speaker 1: You're like, okay, cool, Yeah, why are we here? 1198 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:54,640 Speaker 3: Crazy? 1199 00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:54,840 Speaker 5: To me? 1200 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:57,400 Speaker 1: Was the kamana lady actually walked up to us around 1201 00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,759 Speaker 1: noon and apologized. She said she had no about the rule, 1202 00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,479 Speaker 1: apologized for how angry she was, and said she would 1203 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,080 Speaker 1: have handled it better. She then came up again later 1204 00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,080 Speaker 1: and told us the camanda just freed up and they're 1205 00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:11,960 Speaker 1: holding it for us. We told her, no need thanks, 1206 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:15,799 Speaker 1: but it's really sweet of her. So sometimes people can 1207 00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,440 Speaker 1: really surprise you. And I'm very happy. But how the 1208 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,640 Speaker 1: rest of the day went so thanks Reddit, I'll toast 1209 00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:24,560 Speaker 1: to you with my next adult beverage, and there are 1210 00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,000 Speaker 1: some comments. One of the comments says, oh, man, I 1211 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,920 Speaker 1: would have stayed in the cabana regardless of whether my 1212 00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:31,319 Speaker 1: friends stayed or left. What a crappy thing to do. 1213 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:34,439 Speaker 1: I'm better to enjoy my time following the rules, only 1214 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,840 Speaker 1: to be disrupted by people who don't follow them and 1215 00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,800 Speaker 1: people who buckled with the first sign of trouble. No thanks, 1216 00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:42,680 Speaker 1: I rather stand my ground and ignore the haters coming. 1217 00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:45,600 Speaker 1: Number three says, I'm kind of on the friend's side. 1218 00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,520 Speaker 1: Because the friend apologized and moved, they were able to 1219 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,960 Speaker 1: remain in the pool without this other guest targeting them 1220 00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:54,560 Speaker 1: and making things unpleasant, which she absolutely would have. The 1221 00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:56,880 Speaker 1: only reason the other guest apologized and tried to make 1222 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,920 Speaker 1: nice after was because the friend he escalated to move. 1223 00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,600 Speaker 1: Sticking to their pew pews and insisting would have led 1224 00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,279 Speaker 1: to an entire vacation focused on this other woman having 1225 00:54:06,320 --> 00:54:09,200 Speaker 1: a vendetta whenever she saw them. If the manager hadn't 1226 00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:12,719 Speaker 1: been a goop and been more skillful at running interference 1227 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,080 Speaker 1: with the other guest, it never should have gone to 1228 00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,640 Speaker 1: this point where it was guests versus guest and taking 1229 00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:20,279 Speaker 1: the blame for it, fusting the rules. To say, then 1230 00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:22,840 Speaker 1: the friend's apology and retreat would have not been needed 1231 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:25,800 Speaker 1: and they could have stayed in the first cabana without risk. 1232 00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:30,160 Speaker 1: But he sucked, so the friend's actions weren't necessary. You know, 1233 00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:33,440 Speaker 1: if we were in ten years old and this was 1234 00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:35,200 Speaker 1: the situation, this might have been the end of the world. 1235 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,080 Speaker 1: But we're thirty five years old. 1236 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:39,480 Speaker 7: We found away. That's the first thing I said at 1237 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,440 Speaker 7: the beginning. I was like, no, we are both thirty five. 1238 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:47,279 Speaker 1: And we go on vacation or holiday. We've been doing 1239 00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,200 Speaker 1: it for a while now, and this is the first 1240 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:54,439 Speaker 1: rough patch, and that's the end of this story. We're 1241 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:55,560 Speaker 1: going on to the next one. 1242 00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:00,399 Speaker 5: Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Axelotel host. Here. We're going 1243 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,600 Speaker 5: to get back to the stories. But here's three minutes 1244 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,200 Speaker 5: of ads from our sponsors. 1245 00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:07,319 Speaker 9: My dad forgot my birthday for forty four years, so 1246 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,120 Speaker 9: I finally forgot. 1247 00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,120 Speaker 5: His very happy un birthday. 1248 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,680 Speaker 9: My forty four female dad seventy three male has never 1249 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 9: remembered my birthday. It was slightly covered up when I 1250 00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,640 Speaker 9: was a child because my mom always remembered. But a 1251 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,120 Speaker 9: couple of times when she wasn't around, it fell to 1252 00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,719 Speaker 9: him and he totally failed. By the way this comes from, yep, 1253 00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,840 Speaker 9: it was me, mate, And if you want to submit 1254 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,880 Speaker 9: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. 1255 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:36,040 Speaker 2: I am Savannah, I'm Carly, and we are here to give. 1256 00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,719 Speaker 9: Some advice gulfu lad. But obviously we don't have all 1257 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,959 Speaker 9: the answers. We would just tell you what we would 1258 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,560 Speaker 9: do in this situation. We would love to know what 1259 00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:46,120 Speaker 9: you would do in the comments, as OPI says. So 1260 00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:49,320 Speaker 9: for example, I got nothing on my eighteenth birthday because 1261 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:52,080 Speaker 9: my mom was away for three months. My sister forty 1262 00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:54,960 Speaker 9: six female, had a party with friends, a new dress 1263 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,359 Speaker 9: and lovely gifts when she turned eighteen. Every year it's 1264 00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:02,000 Speaker 9: the same my two SIPs. I also have a much 1265 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,919 Speaker 9: younger brother, thirty three. Male aren't great at this kind 1266 00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,560 Speaker 9: of thing, but I always remind them it's dad's birthday 1267 00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,040 Speaker 9: so they can send him a card and call. Since 1268 00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,600 Speaker 9: my mom passed away a decade ago, I usually take 1269 00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:14,360 Speaker 9: him out to dinner and give him a gift so 1270 00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,799 Speaker 9: he's not alone. A couple of times I've thrown him 1271 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,560 Speaker 9: a surprise party and for his seventieth, I threw a 1272 00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:23,160 Speaker 9: big event where his extended family flew in. I always 1273 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,719 Speaker 9: point out to him when he has forgotten mine. I've 1274 00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:28,480 Speaker 9: told him I find it very hurtful. He just shakes 1275 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,040 Speaker 9: it off and says it isn't important, even though I 1276 00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,839 Speaker 9: just told him it wasn't important to me, and then 1277 00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:37,440 Speaker 9: he forgets it again every year. This year, at Christmas, 1278 00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,960 Speaker 9: he was talking about something relevant, so I took the 1279 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,960 Speaker 9: opportunity to tell him that he needs to make the effort. 1280 00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,560 Speaker 9: Then I asked him when I was born. He couldn't 1281 00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:47,080 Speaker 9: even come up with the year. 1282 00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:48,920 Speaker 2: All yikes. 1283 00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:53,640 Speaker 9: He mocked me for being sensitive, and inside I just 1284 00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,879 Speaker 9: let it all go. He has a phenomenal memory. It's 1285 00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,560 Speaker 9: ludicrous that he won't do this for me. I don't 1286 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,359 Speaker 9: even want a gift, though I won't lie. It would 1287 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,760 Speaker 9: be nice, just a happy birthday call or a card. Well, 1288 00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:09,400 Speaker 9: his seventy third birthday just rolled around. I didn't remind 1289 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:12,120 Speaker 9: my siblings about it, so they both forgot. He rang 1290 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,520 Speaker 9: me the day before. I knew why, but I chatted 1291 00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,000 Speaker 9: about random things and then said I had to run 1292 00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:19,959 Speaker 9: and quickly ended the call. On his birthday, I turned 1293 00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:23,720 Speaker 9: off my phone and went out. He rang me the 1294 00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:26,360 Speaker 9: next day and said that no one remembered his birthday, 1295 00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,520 Speaker 9: not even a card or a phone call, and he 1296 00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:31,400 Speaker 9: spent it alone. I guarantee that's and. 1297 00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,160 Speaker 5: Was he sad and sensitive about it? 1298 00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:36,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive. 1299 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,640 Speaker 5: Dad, Yeah, come on, it's just your birthday, Dad. 1300 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a big deal. 1301 00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,600 Speaker 9: I told him he had made it abundantly clear that 1302 00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,240 Speaker 9: birthdays were not important and that he was reaping what 1303 00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:48,880 Speaker 9: he sewed. He grumpily agreed with me, but he's still mad. 1304 00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,720 Speaker 9: I'm sorry his feelings got hurt because I do love him, 1305 00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:53,440 Speaker 9: But I think this is the way it's going to 1306 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,479 Speaker 9: be from now on unless he steps up and gets 1307 00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,040 Speaker 9: me flowers, a kitten, and some Turkish delight for my 1308 00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:01,640 Speaker 9: forty fifth, in which that case we're all good. 1309 00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,720 Speaker 2: Honestly, you deserve it, though for all the times you've 1310 00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:07,919 Speaker 2: missed it. I would ask for all of those as well. 1311 00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, I would ask, though, Like he's gotta know, I'd 1312 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:13,840 Speaker 5: send him a list, yeah, like this demands. 1313 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,800 Speaker 9: This is what I'm demanding for my forty fifth. Just FYI, 1314 00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,760 Speaker 9: I don't neglect him. I order his groceries every week 1315 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,680 Speaker 9: and bring him around to dinner every Monday, and this 1316 00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,320 Speaker 9: is a blind spot for him. He's honestly a nice 1317 00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,600 Speaker 9: man and can be very generous when it. 1318 00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:29,200 Speaker 3: Occurs to him. 1319 00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:33,480 Speaker 9: Consensus not the a whole comments by Opium. I mean, 1320 00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,360 Speaker 9: I won't lie. It did feel a little bit good, 1321 00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,520 Speaker 9: and that made me feel guilty, hence this post. And 1322 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:41,080 Speaker 9: there is a comment. 1323 00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:44,120 Speaker 5: You showed him what you feel like every year. 1324 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:46,680 Speaker 9: Yeah, it's kind of just giving him a taste of 1325 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,240 Speaker 9: his own medicine. And even though he is like old 1326 00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:51,160 Speaker 9: and like, I do feel bad for being mean to 1327 00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,240 Speaker 9: old people, but like, I don't know, it's one thing 1328 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:56,680 Speaker 9: to like forget it maybe once or twice, but like 1329 00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,280 Speaker 9: every year for like forty years is crazy. 1330 00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:00,400 Speaker 2: That's what it's like. 1331 00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,320 Speaker 9: Okay, you obviously don't care about me, so why should 1332 00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:04,080 Speaker 9: I care about you? 1333 00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:04,919 Speaker 3: You know, type of thing. 1334 00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,560 Speaker 2: I get where you're coming from, Opie. 1335 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:10,280 Speaker 5: I have one thousand percent matched people's energies on their 1336 00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,800 Speaker 5: lack of birthday messages before for sure. 1337 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,800 Speaker 9: Yeah I've matched the lack of and I've also matched 1338 00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:17,760 Speaker 9: the abundant. 1339 00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:18,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1340 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, I don't know. 1341 00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:20,920 Speaker 5: I think, Yeah, he should step up. 1342 00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,200 Speaker 2: He should realize how bad he felt about this. 1343 00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:28,240 Speaker 5: Time and then yeah, actually remember his child's birthday. 1344 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,200 Speaker 9: I also think it's funny that like he remembers like 1345 00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:33,120 Speaker 9: the other kid's birthdays right. 1346 00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:35,720 Speaker 2: And they don't even remember it like she reminds them, right. 1347 00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,040 Speaker 9: So it's like, Dad, I actually do care about you, 1348 00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:42,040 Speaker 9: and this is what you do every single year. So like, 1349 00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,120 Speaker 9: just let that sit with you. I don't know you 1350 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:46,840 Speaker 9: the a hole, but you regret this when he's gone. 1351 00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,760 Speaker 2: Oh A few people have said this. 1352 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,320 Speaker 9: I've thought it through, and it's not like I'm missing 1353 00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,280 Speaker 9: the chance to see him one last time before he 1354 00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,560 Speaker 9: blows away, like freaking' this sold down? Yeah, So I 1355 00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,880 Speaker 9: see him twice a week and do his shopping and 1356 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:03,200 Speaker 9: for him at least once each week. I took him 1357 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,360 Speaker 9: on holiday for ten days last year and fourteen the 1358 01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:09,240 Speaker 9: year before, and we have a break in Devin planned 1359 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:12,600 Speaker 9: in April. I'm a good daughter. I phone him most days. 1360 01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,120 Speaker 9: I am just sick of being treated as the lowest 1361 01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:18,360 Speaker 9: ranked child. I'm after a mutual respect here, and I'm 1362 01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,560 Speaker 9: worth it. I wouldn't snub anyone, let alone a daughter 1363 01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:24,760 Speaker 9: like this, And yet he thinks it's okay. I've read 1364 01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:28,360 Speaker 9: what about two hundred people have said, and I accept 1365 01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:29,520 Speaker 9: what they are telling me. 1366 01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,200 Speaker 2: This is deliberate. Why. 1367 01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:34,000 Speaker 9: I don't know, but it is. He has a brain 1368 01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:38,280 Speaker 9: like a computer. He remembers everything, everything, so he is 1369 01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:40,440 Speaker 9: choosing to do this and it sucks, and I am 1370 01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:43,240 Speaker 9: giving it back to him now it's from Opie. When 1371 01:00:43,400 --> 01:00:46,800 Speaker 9: asked why op he waited until now, OPI responds, I 1372 01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:50,560 Speaker 9: don't know. I genuinely don't know why this one broke me. Also, 1373 01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,360 Speaker 9: it wasn't just my eighteenth. I just brought that up 1374 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,760 Speaker 9: because it's a big one, and the contrast with my 1375 01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:57,360 Speaker 9: sister was so profound. 1376 01:00:57,560 --> 01:00:59,000 Speaker 2: There were other birthdays. 1377 01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,560 Speaker 9: When I was a child that were forgot because my 1378 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,880 Speaker 9: mom wasn't always around. I'm from the UK and she 1379 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:07,120 Speaker 9: was from Eastern Europe and occasionally went to visit her 1380 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,200 Speaker 9: wider family for a while when we were kids. It 1381 01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:13,520 Speaker 9: was Christmas Day after lunch when we had the chat 1382 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,520 Speaker 9: I mentioned, and I'd spent the whole of Christmas Eve 1383 01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,080 Speaker 9: cooking and I'd worked so hard to make it a 1384 01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:22,840 Speaker 9: beautiful day. I chosen, bought and wrapped all his presents 1385 01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:25,400 Speaker 9: to quite a few people. And he just gives me 1386 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,880 Speaker 9: a budget for everyone and a check, and he gives 1387 01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:30,120 Speaker 9: my sister a check to do the same for some 1388 01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:32,160 Speaker 9: of the rest of the family, and I was chatting 1389 01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:34,200 Speaker 9: with my sister and found out that the budget for 1390 01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:37,800 Speaker 9: my baby brother's Christmas gifts is twice the budget for mine. 1391 01:01:38,120 --> 01:01:43,360 Speaker 5: All so there's no reason why Ope should be treated 1392 01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,240 Speaker 5: so differently from her siblings. 1393 01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:49,600 Speaker 9: And like she also does everything that's I'm like, wait, 1394 01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:50,520 Speaker 9: it's like dead. 1395 01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,760 Speaker 5: The reason that they didn't wish you happy birthday was 1396 01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:54,560 Speaker 5: because I usually tell. 1397 01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:55,160 Speaker 2: Them every year. 1398 01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:56,320 Speaker 7: I don't know. 1399 01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:57,880 Speaker 9: I don't know what's going on here. I don't know 1400 01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,120 Speaker 9: why he treats you different, Opie. And then Dad and 1401 01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,840 Speaker 9: I had that crap chat about my birthday. I was 1402 01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,240 Speaker 9: really hurt, but maybe I was looking to grow a 1403 01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:07,120 Speaker 9: spine for a while. 1404 01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:08,040 Speaker 2: I don't know. 1405 01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:10,960 Speaker 9: I saw a therapist recently, and though I didn't bring 1406 01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:12,760 Speaker 9: this up as one of the things I wanted to 1407 01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:15,160 Speaker 9: get on top of, maybe I listened to some of the. 1408 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:16,240 Speaker 2: Life advice he gave me. 1409 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,520 Speaker 9: I've literally been with him on my birthday and he's 1410 01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,040 Speaker 9: given my sister a gift for hers which falls a 1411 01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:22,360 Speaker 9: couple of. 1412 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:27,160 Speaker 2: Weeks before mine, Like this is targeted. Yeah, I know, 1413 01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:28,520 Speaker 2: it's on your actual birthday. 1414 01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,120 Speaker 5: And I know that I'm forgetting and not celebrating your birthday, 1415 01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,440 Speaker 5: but your sisters is in three weeks, so I really 1416 01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,040 Speaker 5: had to get her her gift today. 1417 01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,040 Speaker 9: I just like, I really don't understand, Like, did you 1418 01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,520 Speaker 9: like do something that you're not talking about to him? 1419 01:02:40,520 --> 01:02:44,000 Speaker 2: That just like he was like birthday, he was crazy. 1420 01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:46,640 Speaker 9: Yeah, I need to know what reason because he didn't 1421 01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:47,840 Speaker 9: see her in between. 1422 01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:54,000 Speaker 2: In fairness, she was horrified. I'm definitely his, Okay, cool, 1423 01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:56,600 Speaker 2: See it wasn't just me that question it then we 1424 01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,000 Speaker 2: were just scared. We're scared. I'm definitely his. 1425 01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:03,360 Speaker 9: We have loads of identical physical things, and I look 1426 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,640 Speaker 9: like a freaking twin to his two sisters in pictures 1427 01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:09,240 Speaker 9: where we are the same age. I am queer and 1428 01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:11,920 Speaker 9: didn't give him any grandchildren and he didn't know that 1429 01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,960 Speaker 9: until I was in my late thirties, So that's no excuse. 1430 01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:18,280 Speaker 2: Was that the reason? But he was already missing, but 1431 01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,680 Speaker 2: he was, he was already missing. 1432 01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:21,760 Speaker 3: I don't know. 1433 01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:24,840 Speaker 9: I don't know if he I'm sorry. I know I 1434 01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:28,520 Speaker 9: wasn't planned, but I was always assured. I was very welcome. 1435 01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:30,960 Speaker 9: I have really listened to what people are telling me, 1436 01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:35,160 Speaker 9: and like you, I now realize this isn't accidental, it's deliberate. 1437 01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,200 Speaker 9: This had genuinely never occurred to me. I will wait 1438 01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:40,240 Speaker 9: for a time when we are relaxed in a neutral 1439 01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,960 Speaker 9: situation and ask him why I'm interested in what he 1440 01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:44,600 Speaker 9: says in this whole The. 1441 01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:47,480 Speaker 2: Thread site experience has helped. 1442 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:51,040 Speaker 9: Me move away from being emotionally invested to being curious, 1443 01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:54,080 Speaker 9: which is a huge positive shift. Grateful to all the 1444 01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,840 Speaker 9: strangers who took the time to give me this objectivity. 1445 01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,320 Speaker 9: Though I still love my dad, I think he was 1446 01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:02,640 Speaker 9: genuinely showed that my brother forgot because he's the golden child, 1447 01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:05,560 Speaker 9: et cetera. But I've been reminding my brother for years. 1448 01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,080 Speaker 9: I was pretty sure, without me giving him a heads up, 1449 01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,840 Speaker 9: that he would forget, and I wasn't wrong. In fairness, 1450 01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:13,320 Speaker 9: my dad's attitude has rubbed off on him a bit. 1451 01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:15,960 Speaker 9: I would say that my sister is incredibly overwhelmed right 1452 01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:17,640 Speaker 9: now with life, so I feel a bit bad that 1453 01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:20,400 Speaker 9: I didn't remind her. My sister's an angel and my 1454 01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:22,760 Speaker 9: best friend, and I am lucky to have her. Oh 1455 01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:23,280 Speaker 9: that's good. 1456 01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:25,120 Speaker 2: We are actually good friends most of the time. 1457 01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:27,480 Speaker 9: He is a bit of a dinosaur when it comes 1458 01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,840 Speaker 9: to women and people who like the same gender. So 1459 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,240 Speaker 9: I guess I am never going to be the special one. 1460 01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,120 Speaker 9: But he and I usually get on well together, and 1461 01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,720 Speaker 9: he wasn't a terrible dad. When I was young, he 1462 01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,760 Speaker 9: did not have a son, so I was very much 1463 01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:43,760 Speaker 9: his stand in son and we were very close. That 1464 01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:47,800 Speaker 9: dad sounds neurotypical, says someone. Opie responds, Hmm, he's been 1465 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:51,120 Speaker 9: assessed he has mild OCD. Makes him amazing at scheduling 1466 01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:53,479 Speaker 9: things and remembering dates and details. It's why I won't 1467 01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:54,800 Speaker 9: cut him any slack anymore. 1468 01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:57,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the part that sucks, is like if he 1469 01:04:57,920 --> 01:05:00,680 Speaker 5: has any slight thing, it's something, it should make him 1470 01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:01,520 Speaker 5: remember birthdays. 1471 01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:02,280 Speaker 2: Mark for sure. 1472 01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:05,240 Speaker 5: He remembers every date that meticulously. And he's like, I 1473 01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:06,360 Speaker 5: can't remember her birth I. 1474 01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:09,840 Speaker 9: Am one hundred thousand percent sure that he has a 1475 01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:12,600 Speaker 9: calendar with like everyone's. 1476 01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:15,320 Speaker 2: Birthday and yours is probably on it. Yeah for sure. 1477 01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:18,600 Speaker 2: And he's like, no, not this year, Like he's choosing 1478 01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:19,080 Speaker 2: to do that. 1479 01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:19,400 Speaker 3: And I don't. 1480 01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:20,960 Speaker 2: I don't understand the reason. 1481 01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,040 Speaker 5: Have you just asked him? Can we just be like, 1482 01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:24,760 Speaker 5: why do you hate me? 1483 01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:25,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1484 01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,080 Speaker 9: Well, that's what she's trying to get to She's like, 1485 01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:28,680 Speaker 9: I'm gonna wait till like there's a nutrade. 1486 01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,200 Speaker 2: No, but I need that now. I know, yeah, I 1487 01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:31,920 Speaker 2: would like it. 1488 01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:35,320 Speaker 5: I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, O Pie tell me. 1489 01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:39,080 Speaker 9: He really really doesn't have ADHD. He is superb ad 1490 01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:42,800 Speaker 9: task management, scheduling, planning, I mean really good. He has 1491 01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:45,680 Speaker 9: a great memory and never forgets details or dates. And 1492 01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:48,600 Speaker 9: he had therapy and analysis for his OCD, which my 1493 01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:51,800 Speaker 9: mom also had, so they would have been looking for 1494 01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:54,120 Speaker 9: this kind of thing. I do his groceries because he's 1495 01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:56,320 Speaker 9: too lazy to do it himself on the iPad I 1496 01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:59,320 Speaker 9: bought him. He always has a perfect list waiting for 1497 01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:01,920 Speaker 9: me on Sunday mornings. He knows the contents of his 1498 01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:04,600 Speaker 9: cupboard down to the last slice of bread. He is 1499 01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,880 Speaker 9: excellent at planning. It was hard because I love him 1500 01:06:07,960 --> 01:06:10,000 Speaker 9: and I was brought up to be a generous person 1501 01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:13,000 Speaker 9: who celebrates my friends and family. Not doing that was 1502 01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:15,840 Speaker 9: very hard for me. I mean, realistically, I know he 1503 01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:18,600 Speaker 9: prefers my brother and sister to me. I am just 1504 01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:21,160 Speaker 9: not sure why, because dang, and I am a very 1505 01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:24,080 Speaker 9: very good daughter to him. Yes you are, Opie. I 1506 01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:26,960 Speaker 9: will not take that from you. I will validate that 1507 01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:29,840 Speaker 9: to the end. My sister bought him a paper calendar 1508 01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:32,560 Speaker 9: this year and filled in my birthday and my brothers 1509 01:06:32,760 --> 01:06:35,280 Speaker 9: and all four grandkids. So let's see. 1510 01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:40,040 Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, now it's on the calendar. It's definitely there. 1511 01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:41,439 Speaker 2: Everything's there. 1512 01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:45,120 Speaker 5: If he doesn't say it this year after forgetting his 1513 01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:48,240 Speaker 5: last year, after getting a calendar with it, that's when 1514 01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:50,760 Speaker 5: you immediately go, what the f is? Yeah? 1515 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:55,400 Speaker 9: Yeah, if he just there's no reason for him to 1516 01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:59,320 Speaker 9: excuse it now. Update nine months later. Okay, so I 1517 01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:03,040 Speaker 9: deleted the original threadside account for reasons. I made some 1518 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,640 Speaker 9: foolish comments. People called me out. I panicked, But it 1519 01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:08,400 Speaker 9: was my birthday last week and some people asked me 1520 01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:11,320 Speaker 9: for an update, so I made a new one, and here. 1521 01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:14,600 Speaker 2: Goes drum roll. Okay. 1522 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:17,360 Speaker 9: It was the afternoon of my birthday and the phone rang. 1523 01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:20,240 Speaker 9: It was my dad. We chatted about stuff and did 1524 01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:22,400 Speaker 9: an online grocery order for him together, and then the 1525 01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:26,520 Speaker 9: conversation went kind of like this Dad, oh, and darling me, 1526 01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:27,840 Speaker 9: what Dad? 1527 01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:28,800 Speaker 2: Happy birthday? 1528 01:07:29,200 --> 01:07:29,280 Speaker 6: Me? 1529 01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:30,400 Speaker 3: Where is my father? 1530 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:32,080 Speaker 2: And what have you done with his body? 1531 01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:33,560 Speaker 3: Dad? None of that? 1532 01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:36,600 Speaker 9: So that was nice and later when I saw him 1533 01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:38,720 Speaker 9: the next day, He gave me a glass flower bowl 1534 01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:41,280 Speaker 9: that had been my mom's that he had got my 1535 01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,960 Speaker 9: sister to wrap for me, which was also very nice. 1536 01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:46,240 Speaker 9: So all the people who said I should have played 1537 01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:49,440 Speaker 9: hardball before, maybe you were right. And all the people 1538 01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:51,600 Speaker 9: who said I only get one dad and I should 1539 01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,080 Speaker 9: just love him, I really do. And I haven't neglected 1540 01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:57,960 Speaker 9: him in the last however months, I promise. So whatever 1541 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,000 Speaker 9: the reason for the weird stuff in the past, maybe 1542 01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:02,000 Speaker 9: a bad thing happened to him on my birthday, maybe 1543 01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:04,480 Speaker 9: he always resented the fact that my name wasn't the 1544 01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:06,960 Speaker 9: one he and my mom originally agreed on, or whatever. 1545 01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:10,080 Speaker 9: I seem to have broken the curse. Dad remembered my 1546 01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:13,280 Speaker 9: birthday this year and gave me a nice Skif you. 1547 01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:15,120 Speaker 5: Didn't get the reason, we're fit it. 1548 01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:21,280 Speaker 2: No, no, not get the reason. Just was like, here 1549 01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:24,280 Speaker 2: you go, happy birthday. I mean, it is nice. 1550 01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:27,120 Speaker 5: Mostly none of that when she's trying to be like, 1551 01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:29,439 Speaker 5: oh my god, what have you done. 1552 01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:31,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, like she was trying to like make like a 1553 01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:32,720 Speaker 2: joke out of it, but like. 1554 01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,479 Speaker 5: And he's like no, no, no, no, no, He's like stop. 1555 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,040 Speaker 5: He's like, I'll take my happy birthday back. 1556 01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:38,040 Speaker 3: You know what? 1557 01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:43,759 Speaker 9: Never mind disown you thanks the thread site. Though maybe 1558 01:08:43,800 --> 01:08:47,559 Speaker 9: there maybe we do get you know the reason. After all, 1559 01:08:47,800 --> 01:08:51,479 Speaker 9: I'm not hopeful that we do. I'm not really either, 1560 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:53,920 Speaker 9: but I don't know. Maybe maybe she will be to 1561 01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,559 Speaker 9: put her foot down and be like, listen, dad, tell me, 1562 01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:59,479 Speaker 9: tell me like I want to know and we all 1563 01:08:59,520 --> 01:08:59,880 Speaker 9: want to know. 1564 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:00,759 Speaker 2: Comment Biop. 1565 01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:03,400 Speaker 9: I've been thinking about it since my first post, when 1566 01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:06,519 Speaker 9: the threadsite made me realize there was a deliberate element 1567 01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:08,840 Speaker 9: going on here, and I have decided it was a 1568 01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:12,679 Speaker 9: case of extreme doubling down. He felt guilty about missing 1569 01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:14,920 Speaker 9: my important birthdays when I was young, and it made 1570 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:18,000 Speaker 9: him feel better to take the but it didn't matter 1571 01:09:18,080 --> 01:09:22,000 Speaker 9: because it was an important path than to just apologize 1572 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:25,400 Speaker 9: and improve. I forced a change in quite a harsh manner, 1573 01:09:25,479 --> 01:09:29,160 Speaker 9: and he has buckled. People are complicated creatures, and that's 1574 01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:29,559 Speaker 9: the end.