Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
Speaker 1: takes break Free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
Speaker 1: Ben Maller starts right now. That it does. We are
Speaker 1: in the air everywhere, the vast power of podcasting, the
Speaker 1: global reach of the download as we are bluviating the
Speaker 1: day away. This our Sunday podcast, a spin off of
Speaker 1: the Ben malla radio show. We tap Dance on the
Speaker 1: third Rail. We do things we don't do on that
Speaker 1: show that are only available on the podcast. To us.
Speaker 1: Here we have a little more freedom. The FCC does
Speaker 1: not oversea podcast, so we can say bad words, which
Speaker 1: I'm trying to avoid that as much as I can.
Speaker 1: But the GUESTCN has no problem dropping a F word
Speaker 1: now and again. But not that not that F word,
Speaker 1: Tom Brandon, and no, no, no, the other F worts
Speaker 1: the other F word, uh so and in this podcast
Speaker 1: heard it originally was weekly, just once a week, and
Speaker 1: now it is morphed into a multiple podcast and I'm excited, guest.
Speaker 1: We've got some big things coming up that you know
Speaker 1: in other platforms as well, that will be happening soon,
Speaker 1: and I'm looking forward to that. Yes, I got I
Speaker 1: got some new toy. I gotta some new toys, some
Speaker 1: new things in the arsenal. I'm I'm looking forward to
Speaker 1: uh taking those things out of the garage, if you will.
Speaker 1: And uh, yeah, I think you know, we'll have to
Speaker 1: have a meeting off the podcast because I think there's
Speaker 1: something I probably need to get that I don't have, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that I don't have. How about this? Do you do
Speaker 1: you have? And I'll be quick with us. Do you
Speaker 1: have a propane tank? Yes? I have a barbecue propane?
Speaker 1: So how about you fucking use it and cut that
Speaker 1: fucking state that's been sitting in a freezers. It's a
Speaker 1: hundred you know it's gotta be like temperature. It's too hot. Dude,
Speaker 1: You want me to sit outside of barbecue in a
Speaker 1: Are you out of your freaking mind? You walk last
Speaker 1: week six miles in a hundred degree weather to go
Speaker 1: take a ship in a vacant park. I didn't get
Speaker 1: I didn't play when I left, I did not plan
Speaker 1: on taking that ship in the in the park like that.
Speaker 1: I did not think I would have the Tennessee Trots,
Speaker 1: which is exactly what happened there. That was not my intention.
Speaker 1: But cheese. There's a difference between walking in a hundred
Speaker 1: ten degree weather and standing over a freaking barbecue which
Speaker 1: is six hundred degrees that thing gets up to and
Speaker 1: cooking it. But you know, maybe I will finally, just
Speaker 1: so you don't have that to bitch about, I I
Speaker 1: will consider doing. But we gotta get going here. Guess
Speaker 1: this is very important this podcast. We pushed some things back.
Speaker 1: So we've got pop Quiz, the mail bag, b or
Speaker 1: Not to Be, and whatever else we get to. So
Speaker 1: let's start with pop quiz here, and before we do that,
Speaker 1: cameo dot com, cameo dot com, cameo dot com, type
Speaker 1: my name in Ben Maller, personalized video message, birthday's, weddings,
Speaker 1: bar Mitzvah's funerals, pep talks, you name it. I'm there
Speaker 1: for sex capades, all right. According to research, we do
Speaker 1: this about more on weekends than on week days. What
Speaker 1: is it? Drink uh no, smile smile guess guns you
Speaker 1: smile more on the weekend. What if you work on
Speaker 1: the weekend. I got I uh, I used to work
Speaker 1: on the weekend. I smiled more on the weekend. Of course,
Speaker 1: I work on the weekend. Like I'm in the studios.
Speaker 1: I'm working. I drive to work. I make the sacrifice.
Speaker 1: I drive a long way is away to get to work.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I smile when I weekends. All right now.
Speaker 1: People were asked what they would give up for I
Speaker 1: noticed what you heard. You said, They're dummy. People were
Speaker 1: asked what they would give up forever if they never
Speaker 1: had to pay tax. Again. What came in at number one?
Speaker 1: There's significant other, So they would give up their spouse
Speaker 1: if they never had to pay text? Yes, boy, that
Speaker 1: is a that explains a lot about how you're swinging
Speaker 1: bachelor there. It could be the dog, it could be
Speaker 1: a cat. They're significant others a dog or a cat.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've noticed. Are you watching beast
Speaker 1: reality porn? What are you doing here? Yes? I was
Speaker 1: watching the never mind? Um um, go ahead? What do
Speaker 1: you got all right? Watching sports? No? Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: the number one you would stop watching? Well, this this
Speaker 1: is been I opening because we've all stopped watching sports
Speaker 1: for months four months, uh, five months with some of
Speaker 1: the sports no sports. Actually like four months with no sports.
Speaker 1: Hundred and thirty four days without the major professional sports leagues. Actually,
Speaker 1: yeah it was. It was from March. The last were
Speaker 1: played on March eleven, I like Kings and Ottawa Senators.
Speaker 1: That was the last game of professional sports. And then
Speaker 1: it started on July a. Hundred and thirty four days
Speaker 1: without sports. The industrial complex of sports shut down, shutdown.
Speaker 1: We all survived. We're all here, you know, We're still
Speaker 1: here hanging out, you know, still talking. We still did
Speaker 1: a daily sports talk radio show. With no sports. We
Speaker 1: had more people listening during the pandemic, during the apocalypse,
Speaker 1: uh than ever. It's crazy, all right, experts say, the
Speaker 1: smell of this makes you feel happy and relaxed. Flowers. No,
Speaker 1: it's close though. It's in that John, And this is
Speaker 1: something I like the smell of a lot. I love
Speaker 1: the smell of gas, but this is not gas fresh
Speaker 1: cut grass. That's good. Yeah, it's something like magical about you.
Speaker 1: When I remember I was flashes back to that I
Speaker 1: was a kid, a little league, and I remember being
Speaker 1: out in the outfield because they put the fat kids
Speaker 1: out in the outfield. You put the fat kid out
Speaker 1: in left field and smell the grass and just felt great.
Speaker 1: It's something fresh cut grass. It's really good. Even of
Speaker 1: people with a smartphone have this. By the way, I'm
Speaker 1: included on this. They have a secret compartment for pictures. No,
Speaker 1: they have a crack screen. Yeah, my screen is cracked.
Speaker 1: I gotta get a face bucks for an iPhone six. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a spot next to the Geico studios that does
Speaker 1: it for pop. Is that a good price? I don't know. No,
Speaker 1: I don't think so. It's probably more expensive than it
Speaker 1: needs to be, right, Yeah. L A D l A
Speaker 1: D screens are are double the price though, so if
Speaker 1: you're gonna droid, it's double the price. Oh so iPhones cheaper? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh good, Okay, thank you for that. Yeah, I need
Speaker 1: to get that fixed. About thirty people never experience this.
Speaker 1: Um heartbreak? Uh no, wisdom teeth? Oh how were you
Speaker 1: when you get your wisdom teeth pulled? I don't remember.
Speaker 1: It's all the same, I you know, I don't I
Speaker 1: have I just remember having recollections of eating ice cream
Speaker 1: and things like that, But I don't remember exactly how
Speaker 1: old I was. Almost sixty. Of moms say this is
Speaker 1: the best way to discipline their kids. I think this
Speaker 1: number should be higher, in the sixty percent. I think
Speaker 1: the moms are doing a bad job on this because
Speaker 1: moms ought to do better than slapping them. Yes, corporal
Speaker 1: punishment to slap got my ass kicked. When I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I had the one time I had the belt.
Speaker 1: That's it. But I have the belt. Uh. The answer, though,
Speaker 1: guests gun is to take away their video games. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but see, just be higher than six the video this
Speaker 1: is this is the punishment. But see, this is tough
Speaker 1: though for parents nowadays, because not only do you need
Speaker 1: to take away either a PlayStation or an xbox, but
Speaker 1: then you gotta take away the cell phone, and then
Speaker 1: you got to take away the iPad, and then you
Speaker 1: gotta take away like a Mac or a PC. And
Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but when I got busted,
Speaker 1: my parents would try to hide that stuff. I'd find
Speaker 1: it eventually, but you know, you got you gotta hide
Speaker 1: alsh it. Need to have a great hiding place, a
Speaker 1: vault somewhere you can hide stuff. All right. This happens
Speaker 1: about seventy five times a year to the average household.
Speaker 1: What is it? I think we might have had this
Speaker 1: one before, but it's I forgot so seventy five times
Speaker 1: of your average household. This happens a lot in the
Speaker 1: Mallard mansion. But I don't do it. Um toilet flooding
Speaker 1: seventy five times the other toilet. Uh no, it's you
Speaker 1: can lose a remote control. You know what happens. You
Speaker 1: don't have a remote on your phone? No, no, we
Speaker 1: have the remote with the TV, and uh you use
Speaker 1: your phone as the remote? Is that? I don't know,
Speaker 1: but but I used to have one with my Android
Speaker 1: and yeah, yeah, I remember when I at Staples Center
Speaker 1: the I I would sit near the pearly gates at
Speaker 1: the games there and they it's very hard to turn
Speaker 1: the chances you would have the remote control and the guy,
Speaker 1: one of the guys who worked at Staple Center side,
Speaker 1: you'd be downloads this app. You can, you know, connect
Speaker 1: to any TV and you can. You can as a
Speaker 1: remote control. I could never figure it out. I don't
Speaker 1: think I had the right kind of phone. I think
Speaker 1: my phone was too old at the time and it
Speaker 1: wouldn't work with the phone. But yeah, that's pretty cool
Speaker 1: that you can do that. But I my trick is
Speaker 1: and I learned this recently because my lovely wife loves
Speaker 1: to lose the remote control. I'm gonna put it back
Speaker 1: the same place. Guy, I'm gonna put it back the
Speaker 1: same place. Guy. Uh, my wife is not um and
Speaker 1: so so'll lose it. And last time we're let me.
Speaker 1: The last time it broke because he got dropped. And
Speaker 1: so this is a veteran savvy move. Now a lot
Speaker 1: of people just go to the story said, well, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna buy a universal remote. Don't do it. You look
Speaker 1: up the brand of your television, all right, I've Samsung TV.
Speaker 1: Like Samsung makes the greatest TV. So I I will
Speaker 1: go on the internet and go into like one of
Speaker 1: the way websites and find the remote control that goes
Speaker 1: with the television and buy a replacement because they I
Speaker 1: used to buy the universal remote, but they never worked, right,
Speaker 1: they were never the same. And if you can find,
Speaker 1: and you can now because of the Internet, you can
Speaker 1: find is the exact remote control? What color? What colors
Speaker 1: are remote control? It's black? Okay, mine's white. I gotta
Speaker 1: have the white because I'll lose that ship really quick.
Speaker 1: I do that with my cell phone. Bet on black.
Speaker 1: Come on, man, what's wrong? With you. Alright, Uh, due
Speaker 1: to the current pandemic. There is a shortage of this
Speaker 1: food item. Did you see this this week? No? I
Speaker 1: guess the obvious answer would be meat, right, well, it
Speaker 1: is a meat product, but not that's kind of a general,
Speaker 1: all encompassing answer. Pepperoni, pepperoni. There's a shortage of pepperoni.
Speaker 1: I've also noticed the shortage of coins. I've seen more
Speaker 1: signs recently that they are not a lot of stores.
Speaker 1: I go to Walmart, they are demanding that you give
Speaker 1: of the exact If you pay with cash, you have
Speaker 1: to give the exact amount of Boy, there's a restaurant
Speaker 1: I pick up food from they did the same thing.
Speaker 1: They're like, no, you gotta play with the exact. No,
Speaker 1: no cash only credit cards. Isn't that bad? Really? All right?
Speaker 1: The average US family of four will save about four
Speaker 1: hundred dollars on this activity in compared to last years.
Speaker 1: It's said more than that's got to be higher than
Speaker 1: four hundred. But the answer is birthday parties. Hard to
Speaker 1: have a birthday party when if you have a party,
Speaker 1: the mayor of Los Angeles will turn off your power
Speaker 1: and all that a little difficult to do that all right.
Speaker 1: It's hard to believe, but two of Americans say they
Speaker 1: have never eaten one of these. It's a delicious item.
Speaker 1: I eat this at least once a week, and I've
Speaker 1: done it for years. Once a week. Yep, um, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. I'm gonna go off the A little bit
Speaker 1: a peanut butter and jelly salvwich. I love the peanut
Speaker 1: butter and jelly, but I don't eat that. Let me
Speaker 1: give you a clue. I usually eat this, not Monday,
Speaker 1: not Wednesday night. I eat on Tuesday. Tuesday. Yeah, um man,
Speaker 1: uh do do do do do? Do Do a bagel? Yes,
Speaker 1: bagel Tuesday, Taco Tuesday. You dummy was Hoco tuo. I
Speaker 1: thought you save your Mexican food for the weekends. No no,
Speaker 1: I eat well. I have a usually a two day fast.
Speaker 1: Sunday I don't eat. Monday I don't eat, and then
Speaker 1: Tuesday I eat, and then I don't eat on Wednesday.
Speaker 1: I eat on Wednesday, I don't eat on Thursday. It
Speaker 1: was usually how that goes? All right? Yeah, I thought you.
Speaker 1: I thought you purposely save your Mexican food for the weekend.
Speaker 1: No no, I eat that once during the week and
Speaker 1: then I'm usually make some different stuff on the weekends.
Speaker 1: But how about that two percent of people have never
Speaker 1: had a taco. That sucks? What do they all live?
Speaker 1: What are they live in? Like Wyoming? Yeah, South Dakota.
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, live a little bit. It's not
Speaker 1: that hard easy to make. Be sure to catch live
Speaker 1: editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am
Speaker 1: Eastern Pacific. All right, thanks to the pandemic, this popular
Speaker 1: summertime treat is piling up in warehouses. People not eating it.
Speaker 1: Cotton candy, no peanuts? Really, yeah? Do you think baseball
Speaker 1: games peanuts? You think all the fairs? Yeah, all that
Speaker 1: roasted peanuts, you name it. Honey roasted peanuts is a
Speaker 1: go to. It's like honey roasted peanuts, corn nuts, and
Speaker 1: maybe sunflower seeds. Honey roasted peanuts because they're covered in sugar, salt,
Speaker 1: cover anything. Yeah, this sugar salt fat dimension is good
Speaker 1: on that. All right. You know the ten percent of
Speaker 1: people say this is something they never like to do,
Speaker 1: no matter what, no matter what, brush their teeth flies.
Speaker 1: No hug someone, I'm a hugger. Yeah you are. I
Speaker 1: like to hug. Yeah, you're not a hugger. It depends
Speaker 1: on you're not depends on what she looks like. Wow,
Speaker 1: all right. A new survey asked Americans to name one
Speaker 1: purchase that gave them buyers remorse. What was the most
Speaker 1: popular answer, An engagement ring, An engagement ring. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I know, a new car. I was gonna say a car.
Speaker 1: That's the obvious. So every car that you've gotten, though,
Speaker 1: have you gotten off the lot or have you bought
Speaker 1: it used? Well, the last car I got was used.
Speaker 1: I will never buy a new car, but I always
Speaker 1: bought new cars. And then somebody took me aside and said, hey, stupid,
Speaker 1: what are you doing. You get a pre owned car
Speaker 1: that doesn't have that many miles on it. That's the
Speaker 1: way to go. So what is it? It's it's buying
Speaker 1: a car new and buying a boat. Those are your
Speaker 1: two worst significant investments. Right. Yeah. I will never drive
Speaker 1: a new car again unless the people that Premiere Networks
Speaker 1: decided to give me a Colin Cowherd like contract, and
Speaker 1: then I will buy new cars. New car. That's all right,
Speaker 1: Come on down the showcase, showdown, all right? Last one
Speaker 1: on popcut of men do this when they're having a
Speaker 1: bad day. What is it only okay, so it can't
Speaker 1: be drinking. Now, that's not drink Um. I'm gonna say,
Speaker 1: pick a fight. It's in that same family, but not
Speaker 1: pick a fight. It's breaks something, okay, like you know,
Speaker 1: take a cup and shatter it or you know that
Speaker 1: kind of yeah, break something. Yeah. Um. So that that's
Speaker 1: the answer, right, that's the last part. We have a
Speaker 1: few study there's a lot of these coronavirus things. You're
Speaker 1: interested in any of that are You're like, are you over?
Speaker 1: Are we getting better? No, we're getting dumber. There's a
Speaker 1: there was a new survey out that found Americans believe
Speaker 1: people aged fifty five and older made up about half
Speaker 1: seven point seven percent of the total coronavirus desk. It's
Speaker 1: actually nine but people below that age are convinced that
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's like fifty fifties not. They also
Speaker 1: found the same study found that Americans believe people aged
Speaker 1: forty four and younger made up about thirty percent of
Speaker 1: the total coronavirus desk. It's less than three percent. Now,
Speaker 1: it's sad when people young, and there are young people
Speaker 1: that have died from this, but statistically speaking, it's anecdotal,
Speaker 1: you know, what I mean, it's it's an anecdotal number,
Speaker 1: but people you know, can give them the facts and
Speaker 1: they people can't handle It's like we talked about with
Speaker 1: the nuance with you and basketball. People can't handle the
Speaker 1: new once they don't deal with it. There's a reason
Speaker 1: why the younger group is magnified. It's it's because it's
Speaker 1: driven to be polarizing. That if you get someone that's
Speaker 1: in their teens or twenties that contracts it and dice
Speaker 1: from it, then that obviously means it's the same as
Speaker 1: an individual that's in their sixties and seventies. So they
Speaker 1: want to obviously canvass the scope of Americans dying from
Speaker 1: this thing. Yeah, and then they're doing a heck of
Speaker 1: a job. But it's pretting the spreading the word. Now
Speaker 1: the other thing here, uh, wearing a mask, not wearing
Speaker 1: a mask? They said, flying, you know you you have
Speaker 1: not flown, right, A lot of people have not flown.
Speaker 1: No one's flying. So there was a study out which
Speaker 1: I assume was done by the airline industry, but who
Speaker 1: knows it says, assuming everyone wearing it was wearing a mask,
Speaker 1: the risk of contracting the coronavirus on a flight is
Speaker 1: just one in four. The odds are lower to one
Speaker 1: in seven thousand, seven hundred if the airline has adopted
Speaker 1: the no middle seat policy. Well that makes sense because
Speaker 1: obviously you're having less traffic and less air circulating through
Speaker 1: the cabin. Let me tell you something, gas Scott, I
Speaker 1: was an advocate for the no middle seat having that
Speaker 1: empty prior to prior to co morbidly obese, I had
Speaker 1: been completely supporting that. And yes, that was that was
Speaker 1: the dread the dreaded middle seat. When you get on
Speaker 1: the plane there, Oh my god, that was when we
Speaker 1: launched what we need to launch in a few months
Speaker 1: and we get that big pay day. We can talk
Speaker 1: about this on a on a flight. Oh is all right,
Speaker 1: we're going to fight. Let go look, go to Europe
Speaker 1: or some bullshit, some bullshit like Europe, go to Italy.
Speaker 1: Hang on if we're allowed to though Americans, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed right now in Europe. So how many
Speaker 1: countries are we banned from? Uh? Well, we got New Zealand,
Speaker 1: we got Australia, and we got I imagine the entire
Speaker 1: European Union. Right, we'll go to Syria. Are we allowed Syria?
Speaker 1: I can't even know if we can go to Japan
Speaker 1: right now, to be frank, really, yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't know if we can go to Japan. All right?
Speaker 1: What about China? Ron? And yeah, remember that job you
Speaker 1: wanted me to go apply for and go to China
Speaker 1: a few years ago? That would have been It was great, dude,
Speaker 1: he would have run China. You would be like, he'd
Speaker 1: be like right there in the comment a little bit
Speaker 1: shot dead. Oh no, not at all. They would have
Speaker 1: loved you. Yea. I guess scan was up for a
Speaker 1: job in China. Yeah, you didn't you talk to somebody
Speaker 1: about that, did recruiter? Oh? Jeez? How man? It paid
Speaker 1: a lot, right, Yeah, it paid pretty well. Go there
Speaker 1: and do it for a couple of years. You know,
Speaker 1: why not magnify your name a little bit. You could
Speaker 1: become like the Stefan Marbury, a broadcasting stefn Marbury failed
Speaker 1: out as an NBA player, never became as great as
Speaker 1: he was supposed to be. And then I went to
Speaker 1: China and they had a fucking museum for him. Remember
Speaker 1: that they worshiped him. They genuflected to stef Stefawn Armbor,
Speaker 1: making some some sneakers in the cheap too. That's right,
Speaker 1: the starbarrs speaker sneakers. Let's see what else do we
Speaker 1: have here. We don't have too much time. We're gonna
Speaker 1: keep the train of moving as they stay. All right,
Speaker 1: why don't we move on? You want a mailbag? You
Speaker 1: got be or not to be? Here? You want to
Speaker 1: be or not to be, So let's do a mailbag first.
Speaker 1: Before you do that, I gotta give a good shout out.
Speaker 1: And I gotta ask you this. Anthony and Anaheim twittered
Speaker 1: out a picture to to me and a couple other
Speaker 1: people a few days ago. And I want to ask
Speaker 1: you if you've ever had this, because we were talking
Speaker 1: about dessert. I think you and I like a week
Speaker 1: or two ago. Um, it's a dessert called It's it? Oh?
Speaker 1: Is that the they used to sell at Dodger Stadium?
Speaker 1: Is that an ice cream sandwich covered chocolate? Yes? Have
Speaker 1: you called it a Coola coup? They used to call
Speaker 1: I think the Coola coup? Yes, that thing is great.
Speaker 1: And I I let a campaign when I did the
Speaker 1: Ben and Dave Show locally. Yeah, I let a campaign
Speaker 1: because Dodger Stadium changed concessions contors and they got rid
Speaker 1: of the cool coup the greatest ice cream sandwich. Well,
Speaker 1: and I think greatest. It's the second greatest ice cream
Speaker 1: sandwich behind the traditional chocolate chip cookie vanilla ice cream
Speaker 1: jumbo sized ice cream sandwich. But that is an amazing
Speaker 1: treat on a hot summer day at Dodger Stadium when
Speaker 1: it's like ninety five degrees out and that sun is
Speaker 1: burning down and you're sitting there and you're burning up
Speaker 1: watching the game, and you get one of those cool coos.
Speaker 1: Oh man, now I call it. It is available around here.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's national, I don't know about that,
Speaker 1: but it is available. Yeah, I asked, like Smart and Final.
Speaker 1: I think they sell yes, okay, yeah, because he said
Speaker 1: of getting out in your Belinda, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not driving out there for that, but yeah, I think
Speaker 1: you can get it at Smart and Final and maybe
Speaker 1: even some Walmart locations in southern California. It looks awesome.
Speaker 1: That's good sandwich. That's good. Why did he send that
Speaker 1: to you? That's kind of weird, is he? It might
Speaker 1: have been because we were talking about Yeah, we were
Speaker 1: talking about No, we weren't talking about it. Steve Hartman.
Speaker 1: Steve Hartman's ex wife, Denise, who's up in the valley.
Speaker 1: Then she's a smoke show first of all. Second of all,
Speaker 1: she's an amazing cook. And so every weekend Steve has
Speaker 1: had his ex wife that he lives with bake something
Speaker 1: for the staff, like she's made brownies, banana bread muffins
Speaker 1: and Friday cookies. His ex wife is his together. No,
Speaker 1: Steve's got a very successful past life. Now our our
Speaker 1: new life now that he's divorced. But his ex wife
Speaker 1: is an amazing cook. It's like the stuff that she's
Speaker 1: baked is tremendous. So anyway, so she's supposed to be
Speaker 1: making some some cookies that are are heavily based in
Speaker 1: in mint. And that's why Anthony had tweeted this thing
Speaker 1: out because an ice cream sandwich in mint. So oh
Speaker 1: all right, well that's listen. I love the cool cool
Speaker 1: that's a good looking sandwich right there at the time.
Speaker 1: I haven't not had one of those in years. I'm
Speaker 1: leaning me now, as you know, man, I'm leaning me, man.
Speaker 1: But then see, I blame the wife on this because
Speaker 1: she bought some some clothes that are a little uh
Speaker 1: lower size, you know, and all that and so so
Speaker 1: now every time I eat, I feel like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna fit my clothes. I told her, I said,
Speaker 1: keep my fat close. I'll be back in the my
Speaker 1: fat clothes. I'll be back. I'll fall off the wagon
Speaker 1: at some point, I'll be back as long as you're
Speaker 1: not swimming in your clothes. And it's all good. They
Speaker 1: don't want him like too baggy on you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. All right, let's get to the mail bag.
Speaker 1: These are questions send and remember follow the show, like
Speaker 1: our our Facebook page. That really helps us out on
Speaker 1: their Ben Maller's show on Facebook. Like our page, and
Speaker 1: you can be a contributor. That's really a key part
Speaker 1: of being in the Mallar militia. Right. You can consume, consume, consume.
Speaker 1: But the cool thing about it is you can add
Speaker 1: the content with questions and you don't even have to
Speaker 1: call in anymore. You can just post things on social media.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of cool. All right. So the mail
Speaker 1: bag also Real fifth Hour at gmail dot com at
Speaker 1: a little light on the email this week, Real fifth
Speaker 1: Hour at gmail dot com. So this one comes from
Speaker 1: Dolphin Mike who's in Pennsylvania's is my ten and twelve
Speaker 1: year old sons. I would like to know why you
Speaker 1: talked for twenty minutes about dropping a deuce on the
Speaker 1: toilet seat on your number one fifth hour podcast. That's
Speaker 1: signed Mallard Troll Dolphin Mike with Dolphin Mike. First of all,
Speaker 1: you want to you Wanta, You're you're a bad parent.
Speaker 1: You're a freaking Dolphin fan. All right, that's a bad
Speaker 1: job by you with the Miami bleep in dolphins. Okay,
Speaker 1: what a freaking joke that is. And you're gonna that's
Speaker 1: child abuse because you're gonna force your kids to be
Speaker 1: Dolphin fans, and I hope they become Patriot fans. Just
Speaker 1: to rub it in your face, how about that, Dolphin Mike.
Speaker 1: All Right, you don't worry about my ship habits, Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean I am out there busting my ass. I am.
Speaker 1: I'm relatable like Gascon and these people west of the
Speaker 1: four or five. Do you think guess Gunn has problems
Speaker 1: all the time and he didn't talk about this. He
Speaker 1: doesn't talk about these kind of issues that make him relatable.
Speaker 1: Every other day he has some kind of diarrhe or
Speaker 1: constipation or something like that, and he doesn't bring it up.
Speaker 1: But when I have mone Zuma's arrange, I talked about
Speaker 1: it because I am relatable to the common man. Dolphin like,
Speaker 1: That's why I do it. False fan Jimmy writes in
Speaker 1: says from Big Orange Country. I says, Ben, do you
Speaker 1: think now that you have uncontrollable bowel syndrome it is
Speaker 1: time for adult diapers? Yes, yes, yes, it's only happened twice.
Speaker 1: I had my gallbladder taken out November three of twenty nineteen,
Speaker 1: and ever since then, it's happened two times where I've
Speaker 1: had a little situation where I did not make it
Speaker 1: to the finish line and I had a little premature
Speaker 1: situation that came out there. And so I'll be all right,
Speaker 1: I I I I just think once in a while,
Speaker 1: this is gonna happen. This is my new life, and
Speaker 1: I'm okay with it. I don't like it, but that's
Speaker 1: just the way it is, so I'll deal with it.
Speaker 1: I should set up a go fund me account. My
Speaker 1: wife Will said that I should pack when I go
Speaker 1: on these long walks, toilet paper, just in case, Just
Speaker 1: in case. Uh, phil in oswego right, So he says,
Speaker 1: what is an embarrassing moment in your professional radio career
Speaker 1: that you still think about to this day. Shooting yourself
Speaker 1: ten minutes before a show does not apply. Well, that
Speaker 1: did happen, as you know, Phil, that's a previous podcast,
Speaker 1: the Fateful ten minute Clock. And I had to clean
Speaker 1: up and I had to wash my hands in the
Speaker 1: washroom and then you pretend like nothing happened and do
Speaker 1: the show. But I, as a trained professional, I was
Speaker 1: able to pull that off. But let me think I'll
Speaker 1: give you a story, Phil. Years ago, I was doing
Speaker 1: local radio at Extra Sports eleven fifty, soon to become
Speaker 1: Sports Radio eleven fifty. Uh, And they had a party
Speaker 1: for the remember the movie Animal House, old movie Animal House.
Speaker 1: It's a classic Hollywood classic and Belushi and all that.
Speaker 1: So so anyway, this was like the h I don't know,
Speaker 1: twentieth anniversary of Animal House, and they had a DVD
Speaker 1: release party with footage that had never been seen before, right,
Speaker 1: And so they the movie studio hired us to promote
Speaker 1: the DVD and there was a party with the living actors.
Speaker 1: Belushi was dead at this point, but the people that
Speaker 1: were still alive that had been in the Animal House
Speaker 1: got together at a swanky bar on Westwood Boulevard, just
Speaker 1: down from the U c. L A campus, And so
Speaker 1: we were doing a remote and we were supposed to
Speaker 1: interview these actors who were not really acting anymore because
Speaker 1: they passed their prime. But but then an animal house
Speaker 1: and so I'll never forget the boss, the Great Mike Thompson.
Speaker 1: He said, listen this to make this promotion really good.
Speaker 1: It was the Ben and Dave show. Dave Smith, We're
Speaker 1: gonna get you guys to wear togas and do the
Speaker 1: show wearing togas. So I showed up to do the show,
Speaker 1: go in the bathroom, have to strip down in my underwear,
Speaker 1: put on a toga. And then he had the idea
Speaker 1: to try to get some excitement before we started the show,
Speaker 1: to go out on Westwood Boulevard in the fucking toga
Speaker 1: and uh and wave at people to to create some excitement.
Speaker 1: So of course we did, and it was it was
Speaker 1: very embarrassing, very remember we were having a conversation. We
Speaker 1: were like we walked out together, like you were so embarrassed.
Speaker 1: It was like, oh man, we both want to be
Speaker 1: in radio. We want to be on the air, and
Speaker 1: this is what we're doing. This is where we are
Speaker 1: a fucking toga on Westwood Boulevard. Ridiculous. Was it a
Speaker 1: windy day? I was evening time because we were doing
Speaker 1: a night shows like it was evening time. But it
Speaker 1: was yeah, I mean it wasn't. Wasn't Wendy, wasn't Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: it wasn't. It wasn't cold, it wasn't hot. It was
Speaker 1: kind of mild, you know, a typical Westwood whether as
Speaker 1: I remember. Did you get hit on by anybody? Oh? God, no, no, please,
Speaker 1: It's got a very eclectic group of people to hang
Speaker 1: on that area. Oh, I see what you're saying. I
Speaker 1: see what you're saying. Be sure to catch live editions
Speaker 1: of the Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern
Speaker 1: eleven p m. Pacific, uh Pierre in Springfield, Mass Right
Speaker 1: soon there's any chance that Gagon has any furlough time
Speaker 1: due to miss the podcast anytime soon, maybe you could
Speaker 1: bring Eddie off his took isn't go away from the
Speaker 1: Punk podcast to fill in. All right, whatever you do,
Speaker 1: don't bring in Finley a k A. Gag On after dark.
Speaker 1: Well let me answer that question for you. Um. First
Speaker 1: of all, I don't make as much money. As ben,
Speaker 1: so I'm not subject to the furlowing hours that not
Speaker 1: all of us can make seven digit salaries. Um, so
Speaker 1: I I do not. And also I I very generously
Speaker 1: kindly volunteer my time to be a part of this podcast.
Speaker 1: So I don't think you're gonna find another sucker here
Speaker 1: that'll do that. So, so, to rephrase with Gascon just
Speaker 1: said that he's a martyr, Right, he's a martyr, he's
Speaker 1: the he's the victim. Oh, it's poor me, team play.
Speaker 1: Oh it's so bad. I'm a victim. I'm a victim.
Speaker 1: My God, ever will ever quit with the SOB stories?
Speaker 1: He asked the question, I'm answering the question, what do
Speaker 1: you want from man? God? What all right? Moving? Listen?
Speaker 1: Many people would like Gagon gone, but he's here every week.
Speaker 1: Carlos in Bang Bang Whistle Whistle, Houston, Texas Home of
Speaker 1: the Cheaters, says, you've taken a lot of bad financial
Speaker 1: advice from people. Why don't you take some advice from Gagon?
Speaker 1: You have nothing to lose. Well, actually I have everything
Speaker 1: to lose. I have everything left to lose. So I
Speaker 1: haven't given you any bad advice. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I actually did talk, I said the other day, I
Speaker 1: talked to a real financial person, So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know who everyone's got hot takes. Who the
Speaker 1: hell knows? Okay, I told you Apple, and we did
Speaker 1: Apple at the same time and got the same payout.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm actually tempted to sell No, no, no,
Speaker 1: because it's already gone up, and I believe it was
Speaker 1: gonna go down once the split happens. My theory is
Speaker 1: it's gonna go down. How about that. That's fine, make
Speaker 1: some money right now, get in, get out. Well, if
Speaker 1: that's your goal, like if that was your idea to
Speaker 1: get in and make it was my idea originally. But
Speaker 1: oh man, look at that. Wow, I don't Another big
Speaker 1: day today is we are doing the podcast in real time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's shut up like ten percent. It's a pretty good
Speaker 1: return on investment right there. It's a pretty good return
Speaker 1: on investment. I'll tell you that. Alright. Let's see here,
Speaker 1: I didn't realize. Maybe I'll hold on to it all right,
Speaker 1: Clayton Wright saying we're doing the mail back Clayton writes,
Speaker 1: and he says, when you first began fasting, how long
Speaker 1: did it take you to get a to a twenty
Speaker 1: four hour fast than forty eight hours. That's a good question, Clayton.
Speaker 1: I started doing sixteen hour fast, and I went up
Speaker 1: to eighteen hours after a couple of weeks, and then uh,
Speaker 1: twenty four. I drink a lot of water. I just
Speaker 1: don't eat. I feel like if I can fill my
Speaker 1: stomach up, it's like a mine trick. I can feel
Speaker 1: I can feel like I'm full because my stomach is
Speaker 1: filled with water, and then I don't really worry about it.
Speaker 1: But the other problem is I'm a type a Clayton
Speaker 1: personality where I I'm very competitive, which is a blessing
Speaker 1: and a curse. So I'm like, well, I can keep going.
Speaker 1: I don't have to stop. You know, mind over matter,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't mind, If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: So that kind of thing. But my advice is, and
Speaker 1: you should never listen to somebody on the radio or
Speaker 1: a podcast on how to do this. You should consult
Speaker 1: with a professional. But my theory on how to do
Speaker 1: the fast thing is you start out. It's baby steps.
Speaker 1: You know, if you can't even do sixteen hours, start
Speaker 1: out with ten hours, and then a week later cranking
Speaker 1: up to twelve a week later cranking up to fourteen,
Speaker 1: then a week later cranking up to sixteen, and then
Speaker 1: slowly and surely you'll you'll be able to do it.
Speaker 1: But you know, it takes I think it's sixty six days,
Speaker 1: I believe is the number to change the habit. We've
Speaker 1: talked about that before, according to research, So it takes
Speaker 1: more than two months before it becomes just AUTOMATICA Well,
Speaker 1: if you want a couple of quick hacks on this um,
Speaker 1: there's two things right out of the gate. One is
Speaker 1: don't eat after seven o'clock at night, and two, try
Speaker 1: to get eight hours to sleep. So if you're getting
Speaker 1: eight hours of sleep and your goal is too fast
Speaker 1: for eighteen hours, then you're nearly halfway there. Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: really only fasting ten hours while you're awake, right, So
Speaker 1: it's yeah and there. So there's ways to get around that. Obviously.
Speaker 1: What I do, of course, with the four or five
Speaker 1: hours of sleep makes it the degree of difficulty goes up. GISCA,
Speaker 1: you cheat, you take? How do I cheat? I have
Speaker 1: to deal with your dumbass enemy. Photos of delicious pizza,
Speaker 1: cheeseburgers and all kinds of wonderful food you take and
Speaker 1: don't you take some pills. Don't you take some caffeine
Speaker 1: pills only on Thursday into Friday, because that's the worst.
Speaker 1: I get like three hours of sleep to to do
Speaker 1: these podcasts. It's cheating. It's not cheating. How is that cheating? Man?
Speaker 1: P DS? Yes, all right, Chris in my Cocona Cocona,
Speaker 1: he says, what is your worst bathroom experience at a game?
Speaker 1: Can't be as bad as your park story. I'm still
Speaker 1: traumatized from Wrigley's p troughs. Uh yeah, I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't remember any really bad situations, although at the
Speaker 1: Sports Arena when the Clippers played there, and they nobody
Speaker 1: ever went to those games except when they would play
Speaker 1: like Larry Burton the Celtics, or Jordan and the Bulls,
Speaker 1: or you know, you Wing and the Knicks and those
Speaker 1: big or the Lakers would come in with magic in
Speaker 1: that group. So whenever a good team would come in
Speaker 1: to play the Clippers, the Sports Arena infrastructure was such
Speaker 1: where it couldn't handle the crowd, so the toilets would flow,
Speaker 1: they would flood, and so you'd be standing there at
Speaker 1: the trough to do your business or go into the
Speaker 1: stall and you'd be standing in about an inch or
Speaker 1: two inches of piss water. So, but that's not really
Speaker 1: something that I did. That's just what the arena did.
Speaker 1: And then I also remember when I was a kid,
Speaker 1: I was an Angels game. My dad took me to
Speaker 1: an Angels Tigers game. Tigers has some really good teams
Speaker 1: in those days, like chet Lemon and Gibson and those guys.
Speaker 1: And uh, and I'm sitting in the stadium and someone
Speaker 1: from the upper deck hit through a cigarette and landed
Speaker 1: on my head and burned my head. But that's not
Speaker 1: really a bathroom. So I just I just popped into
Speaker 1: my head for some reason. It's a non sequitary. I
Speaker 1: apologized Chris and cocon it's a bad job by me.
Speaker 1: Do you have an answer to that? I guess I
Speaker 1: did have one. It was Game five of the Stanley
Speaker 1: Cup Final between the Ducks and the Ottawa Senators. I
Speaker 1: don't know what. Maybe my inner fan got the best
Speaker 1: of me, but I became so sick as soon as
Speaker 1: the Ducks won the Stanley Cup. Grew up as a
Speaker 1: Kings fan. Ben I had this giant rush that I
Speaker 1: needed to go hit the hit the bathroom and it
Speaker 1: was at the end when the cup was being raised,
Speaker 1: I raced right out of the Honda Center because I
Speaker 1: couldn't deduce there. And I the Honda Center. How it's
Speaker 1: a line is that there's corporate buildings behind it and
Speaker 1: on the east side of the building. So I raced
Speaker 1: into one of the vague at buildings and and flash
Speaker 1: like a fake badge, and yeah, I was like, man,
Speaker 1: and I sat there for like twenty minutes. It was
Speaker 1: if that bathroom was I think that's you're like the
Speaker 1: Olden Polonies type. That's an Olden Polonies type move, I believe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: probably the badge. And I'm a big fan. If you're
Speaker 1: driving somewhere and you gotta go, you find a hotel.
Speaker 1: Always find a hotel because they're always hotel lobby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well the hotel restrooms are always keeping there, keeping clean
Speaker 1: keeping plan. So we actually had this conversation the other
Speaker 1: day that Ned Flanders guy the Quaker oats gut, occasionally
Speaker 1: works at the company. He loves to drop a deuce
Speaker 1: at work. I don't understand I complained about this, but
Speaker 1: I want to expand on this more. Like to me,
Speaker 1: one of the cool things about radio is if you
Speaker 1: do a show it's a three or four hour show, yes,
Speaker 1: And it seems like most of the people that work
Speaker 1: in our industry cannot go three or four hours without
Speaker 1: eating a meal, and also can't go three or four
Speaker 1: hours without taking a deuce. Somewhere along the way, it
Speaker 1: is it's unreal. Well, to be fair, guys like him
Speaker 1: and myself are here for nine hours. So what I
Speaker 1: can go nine hours with dropping a pool. I'm better
Speaker 1: than you. I can contain. Well, maybe not now, but
Speaker 1: for the balance of my life when I before I
Speaker 1: became superhuman without my gall bladder, I could do it. Well,
Speaker 1: it depends on what you eat. But just don't eat.
Speaker 1: How about that? Yeah? I could do that. Stick I don't.
Speaker 1: You don't. You don't ship where you make your money
Speaker 1: and eat which is which is work? You shouldn't eat
Speaker 1: it work either. I just if you're there for fifteen hours,
Speaker 1: that's different. But you got coming into a three hour
Speaker 1: show on a Saturday, and you gotta eat a meal.
Speaker 1: I just love how our restrooms have signs on it
Speaker 1: now that says, please wash your hands and please piss
Speaker 1: in the toilet. Some fancy instructional how to use the bathroom?
Speaker 1: Is that right? Is that it's it's embarrassing. The bathrooms.
Speaker 1: I would have designed them differently, you know, as one person,
Speaker 1: one customer at a time. Why not have two stalls?
Speaker 1: How about that? No guys are messy, you know, you
Speaker 1: gotta hurdle trash cans and you're in the studio when
Speaker 1: you're here. Oh, I know. I don't miss that, man,
Speaker 1: I don't miss the Every Sunday night I would come
Speaker 1: into the overnight show and it would smell like a
Speaker 1: rotting dumpster from all the chicken uneaten chicken and the
Speaker 1: fish meat that people would throw in the trash cans
Speaker 1: and the rotting vegetables and all that ship and uh
Speaker 1: it was so annoying as it was ridiculous. And I
Speaker 1: occasionally I would do play by play on what people
Speaker 1: were eating over the weekend in Fox Sports Radio. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's pretty good their habits, you know, and what they
Speaker 1: were doing and all that stuff. So all right, what
Speaker 1: is next year? Chris from Edmonton says Ben. When you
Speaker 1: first started doing takes in sports, what was the hardest
Speaker 1: part of remembering all of the information. Uh, well, Chris,
Speaker 1: I think I don't know that that's the right way
Speaker 1: to phrase it. I think there's an art to learning
Speaker 1: how to break down a game. So I'm trying to
Speaker 1: teach Gascon, you know, Gascons, Lebron fanboy, and when I
Speaker 1: the nuance I have in slicing, I'm very proud of.
Speaker 1: I learned from some legends when I first started that
Speaker 1: taught me how to watch a game and what to
Speaker 1: look for. Uh. I happened to be buddies with a
Speaker 1: lot of the old stat guys that were doing like
Speaker 1: Chick Heernstad guy, Vince Scully's that guy, and they told
Speaker 1: me some things to look for. No, obviously I've taken
Speaker 1: that to the next level. Uh with with the way
Speaker 1: that I break down a game, it's uh, they never
Speaker 1: went full full rogue, but especially like the NBA playoffs,
Speaker 1: I'm having fun with that because I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: really good at the NFL playoffs and fell. You know,
Speaker 1: I think I think I've gotten decent. I don't be
Speaker 1: like a narcissist like Gascon, but I work at it,
Speaker 1: and there there is an art to it to break
Speaker 1: it down because a lot of these guys don't. You
Speaker 1: can tell when they don't watch the game and they
Speaker 1: just read the box score and uh, big game and
Speaker 1: I don't watch you all again. I'm gonna say I
Speaker 1: tell you I do, and I'm I'm a flipper. But
Speaker 1: if it's a big playoff game and I know I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be probably doing a monologue on it, like when
Speaker 1: Lebron's playing or the Clippers are playing or something like that,
Speaker 1: I I'm locked in. I have laser like focus. I
Speaker 1: only turn away. It's TNT. I don't turn away because
Speaker 1: I love Barkley. At halftime, I'll keep it on there,
Speaker 1: but I turn away when they do the activism stuff.
Speaker 1: I'll turn out and go watch a ballgame or something
Speaker 1: like that, and then because I know it takes about
Speaker 1: three minutes, and then I'll be back. Um, but really,
Speaker 1: Chris and Edmonton breaking down a box score and breaking
Speaker 1: down a game in general, watching it and then knowing
Speaker 1: what the key parts are that the untrained I would
Speaker 1: not know that to me is the hardest thing. But
Speaker 1: once you learn it, it's on. It's a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Have a good time with it. Uh, let's see here.
Speaker 1: Will says, Hey, I just want to hear all of
Speaker 1: your nickname. So Will wants to hear the nicknames you
Speaker 1: want to All Right, here we go I am known
Speaker 1: as the spin Master of Misinformation, the bannering Broadcaster, the
Speaker 1: Beethoven of bs, Curmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of Sarcasm, czare Zany,
Speaker 1: the dark Night of Weeknights sports Radio, Mogul of mischief,
Speaker 1: Benny the Brazen, King of Zing, Moneyball Mallard, Facetious Fox,
Speaker 1: Sultan of Insult and Jumping Jack of wisecrack, Insight of
Speaker 1: overnight Medicine, Man Mallard, neigh Bob of Negativity, Sage of Outrage,
Speaker 1: Pinnacle of cynical, Prince of Prepostors, Professor of propaganda, hazar
Speaker 1: If I permably, and the mad Hatter of sports chatter.
Speaker 1: That's only half my nicknames. Gascon, what's that you want?
Speaker 1: The other half? Okay, you know Gascon called for it.
Speaker 1: He just send in my headphones. Give me the other half.
Speaker 1: I am known as the Baron of Balgladesh, the Big
Speaker 1: gall Bladder, Bennice, the Menace, Captain needs your General of Degenerates,
Speaker 1: Tycoon of Tease, Master of Disaster, the Hustler of Philip Buster,
Speaker 1: night Light of night Life, Pummeler of Producers, Benny Brightside,
Speaker 1: Manity of Insanity, mark Cony Mallard Emissary of Embellishment, Weeknight
Speaker 1: win Back, Wizard of Wacky, Slayer of Naysayers, Grant Goober
Speaker 1: of Gap Tower of Babylon, Honest Adonis, Nocturnal Colonel, the
Speaker 1: Underdog of Monologue, and the Holy Pope of the Slippery Slope.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. I'll be here all night. It's
Speaker 1: a long list of the great list of nicknames, original nicknames.
Speaker 1: There's other ones that I I left off. If you want,
Speaker 1: I can give you some of the ones that did
Speaker 1: not make and prefer not. You've You've done God's work
Speaker 1: for the day with that. Alright, Well, let you go.
Speaker 1: You have no nickname. You have one nickname, aggon. You
Speaker 1: know how how come the butcher Finley has more nicknames
Speaker 1: than you? What's up with that? I don't know. There's
Speaker 1: a reason why he's he's giving himself nicknames. The hell
Speaker 1: are you talking about? That is true, he has given himself.
Speaker 1: Well he that's not the buckaroo he earned by uh
Speaker 1: saying something during a news update that you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to say in the backwards cowboy right. Uh, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know I didn't say that. It was something. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was a sexual position that Finley thought was a good
Speaker 1: way to describe the outcome of a game. Bro. It
Speaker 1: was a verse cowgirl, I verse cowgirls. So we gave
Speaker 1: him the nickname Buckaroo. Has Finley said that the butcher
Speaker 1: because he butchers the show because a twenty minute updates
Speaker 1: Ned Flanders because he did he didn't know who Ned
Speaker 1: Flanders was. Yeah, I can't believe that one. I mean,
Speaker 1: rong Button Bob is probably best one that we get. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: that's the great the fact that he's kept his job
Speaker 1: and be promoted by the company when he shut the
Speaker 1: entire thing off. If you don't know the story about
Speaker 1: wrong Button Bob, Bob Garrett, my old producer, we had
Speaker 1: some technical issues with the computer. So I said, hey,
Speaker 1: can you go in the back? Is this hole? To do?
Speaker 1: You have to walk down the hall, turn a corner,
Speaker 1: open a door, turn a corner again, turner and walked
Speaker 1: to the end, turn turn right, holy and so I said, hey,
Speaker 1: can you reset the computer? He said ye, prop So
Speaker 1: he walks away. I'm in the studio getting ready to talk,
Speaker 1: and then like a ten twenty seconds later, everything goes off.
Speaker 1: The entire network went off the air, and thus the
Speaker 1: nickname wrong Button Bob was born. We also found out
Speaker 1: what happens if we get knocked off the air gas
Speaker 1: gun you have. It's it's prior programming, right, like it's
Speaker 1: evergreen programming, but it was evergreen programming from like years
Speaker 1: ago that they had saved in the queue to play
Speaker 1: like just generic random rows that they put in there
Speaker 1: and play. Maybe we should do that again where they
Speaker 1: have to play something generic and it's our podcast. It's
Speaker 1: a great idea that you curse all the time. So
Speaker 1: I don't know they do commercial airways. We could do
Speaker 1: like one evergreen hour of generic boring like nine nineties
Speaker 1: sports talk. You know, they're like FRANCESSA breaking. Here's the
Speaker 1: Yankee lineup. You've got Jetter leading off. You got you know,
Speaker 1: knob blocks in the number two. You know you just
Speaker 1: to go down the list, right, that would be pretty
Speaker 1: damn good. Yeah, exactly? All right? So will I give
Speaker 1: you the nicknames? Trucker Joe double O seven in Pennsylvania. Uh,
Speaker 1: he's a Twitter guy, says for you and gascon or gagon,
Speaker 1: big toes or thumbs? Which one could you live without? Oh?
Speaker 1: I think you would prefer to have if you had
Speaker 1: to choose, you'd rather have normal thumbs and big toes,
Speaker 1: right yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's pretty easy, isn't it. Yuh,
Speaker 1: Although balance is key, that's tough. The thumbs could come
Speaker 1: in handy in some area. But I'll go big toes.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'll go y'all go big toes. Like if
Speaker 1: your boxer and you have big thumps, big fat fumbs,
Speaker 1: you could you can deliver some damage, right yeah. But
Speaker 1: I mean if you're holding like a weapon, opening a door,
Speaker 1: trying to crack a can. Yeah, all right, keep you
Speaker 1: on here, Barry, and Chattanooga says, hey, bet we see
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan and now Clay Travis making great strides on
Speaker 1: web the website arena. Do you wish you had kept
Speaker 1: your website ben mallow dot com going and any chance
Speaker 1: you might start one up? Well, Barry, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: I guess uh, you know, I don't regret getting rid
Speaker 1: of ben dot com because I was I was working
Speaker 1: in radio full time at the time most of that stretch,
Speaker 1: and it just was nonstuff. I had no life other
Speaker 1: than working. I was doing that seven days a week
Speaker 1: and the radio going on, I had no social life.
Speaker 1: I didn't get much attention at all from the kinder
Speaker 1: gentler gender because I was working all the time and
Speaker 1: so that and the fact that I wasn't I had
Speaker 1: made a decent amount of money. I was working with
Speaker 1: Fox Sports and Yahoo. But then after that, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like with social media, the money wasn't really there,
Speaker 1: and so you know, I was like, hey, follow the money.
Speaker 1: But there's there's a guy that one of the bigger
Speaker 1: name guys at ESPN that I know who every time
Speaker 1: he sees me, he said, you should have kept the website.
Speaker 1: You should have kept the website. He always busts my
Speaker 1: balls when I see it. But I might might bring
Speaker 1: it back. I mean, if if the radio thing doesn't
Speaker 1: work out, you know, and that could end at any moment,
Speaker 1: I could bring back the the website. I know how
Speaker 1: to do it. It's a lot different now than it
Speaker 1: was when I did. I think it's easier to do
Speaker 1: it now. It's it's harder in some areas, and it's
Speaker 1: easier in some ways. It was harder. It's harder now
Speaker 1: because everything is just on Twitter. People don't want to
Speaker 1: read stories on a website. But I was an aggregate.
Speaker 1: That's all I did. I aggregated, I put stuff together,
Speaker 1: and then I had the great thing about being an
Speaker 1: aggregator in those days is I had people that would
Speaker 1: reach out to me who actually had information to give
Speaker 1: me stories because they wanted their you know, whatever their
Speaker 1: agenda was to be out there. Tmz Beck. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: got some of that, which was pretty cool. Uh, let's
Speaker 1: see here. And then Barry also says, if Brian Finley
Speaker 1: knows you think his updates drag on, why doesn't he
Speaker 1: make changes to improve his segments? It's baffling to me.
Speaker 1: You want to tackle that one, you do not. I
Speaker 1: cannot speak for the one brand Finley the third rail.
Speaker 1: That's the third rail. Jimbo and Rochester sys men, can
Speaker 1: you add some context to the drop you use on
Speaker 1: the show with the female broadcaster saying, and here come
Speaker 1: the special balls, I can't figure out what game she's describing, well, Jimbo,
Speaker 1: that is uh. Susan Waldman, the Yankee broadcaster with our
Speaker 1: buddy John Sterling. And if I remember correctly, Roger Clemens
Speaker 1: was near some milestone. This is how I remember. I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: but as I remember Roger Clemens, it was some milestone,
Speaker 1: whether it was a strikeout or a wind told it
Speaker 1: was like three wins or something like that, and so
Speaker 1: baseball made some special commemorative baseballs for that game and
Speaker 1: for you know, the moment when he was about to
Speaker 1: break whatever record he was about to break. I think
Speaker 1: it was Clemmens. And so when he when he got
Speaker 1: close to the record, the ball boy would hand to
Speaker 1: the umpire the balls and so she was so excited,
Speaker 1: here come the special balls because it was getting close
Speaker 1: to the re record. So that's the that's the gist
Speaker 1: of this. A right, that's the that's the gist of this. Uh,
Speaker 1: let's see here. You want to get to be or
Speaker 1: not to because I think we're getting little long right now.
Speaker 1: Guess we did all right to be or not to be?
Speaker 1: This guest had a coron area this week because for
Speaker 1: a few hours, b or not to be vanished. Man,
Speaker 1: it was gone. It was a moment of silence. Although
Speaker 1: I will say I appreciate a lot of people actually
Speaker 1: reached out and sent me snapshots of the Babylon Bee's
Speaker 1: account being suspended. It was it was great. And then
Speaker 1: when it got reactivated it had like five thousand followers,
Speaker 1: so it quickly ramped up right after that though, so
Speaker 1: they only now they have thousand or whatever. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but they had stripped them of their goods. So anyways,
Speaker 1: this is an ode to the Babylon be all satire,
Speaker 1: of course. And these are the five titles Bend that
Speaker 1: did not make the cut. So we've got five stories,
Speaker 1: five titles that did not make the cut. Uh. State
Speaker 1: of California and exploitation of workers for good by banning
Speaker 1: all jobs. I feel like they have banned all jobs.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a that's a sad tire. I
Speaker 1: think that's real. He can't work at restaurants. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're a server at a restaurant, you're fucked. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: usement parks, churches. This is some of the guys. Frank
Speaker 1: in l A Man, that guy, he was a hustler.
Speaker 1: Frank in l A. He worked at Staples Center, Dodger Stadium,
Speaker 1: Man the soccer stadium over near where the USC campuses
Speaker 1: where the sportsman used to be. Uh. And he can't
Speaker 1: work anywhere. I don't know what. I don't know what
Speaker 1: Frank's doing, man, but he worked all he worked at
Speaker 1: Universal Studios. That guy was a hustle. So it is
Speaker 1: Austin that sucks. King Newsom won't allow him to hustle, No, Sarah,
Speaker 1: not in this state. How about this one? Another title
Speaker 1: that did not make the cut. Ignorant moron who doesn't
Speaker 1: follow politics is also really happy with his life. Pretty good.
Speaker 1: That's also true, though you don't followup. Hey, who care?
Speaker 1: You don't get upset about this nonsense. Another one that
Speaker 1: did not make the cut. Famed archaeologist archaeology professor fired
Speaker 1: after photo surface of him wearing a Nazi uniform. That's
Speaker 1: an ode to Harrison Ford in Indiana. Jones believer who
Speaker 1: didn't grow up in Christian culture. Knows nothing about Christianity
Speaker 1: except what's in the Bible. Another one that did that
Speaker 1: did not make the cuts. Uh pull finds most Americans
Speaker 1: would rather jump into volcano of angry geese than watch
Speaker 1: Democratic Convention angry geese. And then last that did not
Speaker 1: make the cut, Hillary Clinton congratulates nominees and asked them
Speaker 1: to come stand on target underneath precarious dangling piano. Uh
Speaker 1: decent for the first couple I thought were the best
Speaker 1: of that. But all right, what do we now? We're
Speaker 1: getting to meet here? Potatoes? How about this one? Local
Speaker 1: man in Tennessee Ben is willing to go on the
Speaker 1: internet to say that Nazis are bad. All right, so
Speaker 1: local man in Tennessee and willing to go. Uh, let's
Speaker 1: see here. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say that's the B.
Speaker 1: Are you sure? Yes? I bet your one for one
Speaker 1: al right? After good, I got to be, I got
Speaker 1: to be. I got an a on the beat. You
Speaker 1: are not shooting at a Paul George Efficiency clip right now.
Speaker 1: So it's a good job by you. Second story the
Speaker 1: B or not to be? Uh, let's see if you're
Speaker 1: accurate on this one. Media criticizes Trump for forcing them
Speaker 1: to tear country apart for last four years. Um, well,
Speaker 1: this is something you would expect to like read on
Speaker 1: CNN dot com or something I would I would imagine.
Speaker 1: But uh, I wanna say that that is I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say that's the B again. I think that's the B.
Speaker 1: Are you sure? I'm not sure? I just I don't
Speaker 1: think that anything. Like the media likes this perception, like
Speaker 1: they don't attack Trump. They like to live in this
Speaker 1: parallel universal. They don't take pot shots at the maybe
Speaker 1: chance they get. But so I don't think they would
Speaker 1: admit to it, you know what I'm saying. No, No,
Speaker 1: we're I've seen clips of people on CNN said no, no,
Speaker 1: nobody attacks Trump here, you know, so I would say
Speaker 1: that's a satire. All right, Ben? Your two for two? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. How about that under the clock right now,
Speaker 1: so we'll go at a blistering pace. How about this one?
Speaker 1: Study finds out Democrats lore progressive voters to polls by
Speaker 1: disguising them as riots. Alright, so they again. According to
Speaker 1: a study, democrats are luring progressive voters to polls by
Speaker 1: disguising them as riots. All right, well this has to
Speaker 1: be that's that's easy. That has to be the Babylon
Speaker 1: bi bet your three for three? Yeah, I was easy.
Speaker 1: Come on, I've already won the game. Alright, sorry, going
Speaker 1: to go four for four. Internet influencers launch donor sperm
Speaker 1: giveaway on Instagram. I think the ones. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: real on this one. I think this one. And if
Speaker 1: people do crazy ship on Instagram and the Internet, so
Speaker 1: I can see some deranged lunatic going down this, I
Speaker 1: want to say, that's legit. Yeah, Benny, you're actually right
Speaker 1: to check this out. A same sex couple launched a
Speaker 1: program basically hyping up that they want to have a
Speaker 1: done a donor sperm giveaway on Instagram. It's two women
Speaker 1: in fact that they announced their partnership with a company
Speaker 1: a few days ago and they have over two hundred
Speaker 1: thousand followers with a chance for a vial of donor sperm.
Speaker 1: Are you in on that? I hope you win. Guess now?
Speaker 1: Could you imagine how much of that to pay be
Speaker 1: great for you? Yeah? All right? Last one, the B
Speaker 1: or not the B. American airline, not American Airlines, but
Speaker 1: an American airline is banning a military officer for not
Speaker 1: sacrificing for the greater good. Uh no, no again, an
Speaker 1: American airline is banning a member of the US military
Speaker 1: for not sacrificing for the greater good. Uh I think
Speaker 1: that's I'm gonna say that's a legitimate ben You would
Speaker 1: five for five check this ship out. Navy Seal Robert J. O'Neill,
Speaker 1: who is a member of the former Navy Seal Team six.
Speaker 1: They banned him Delta Airlines banning he posted a picture
Speaker 1: on on his social media account that said I'm not
Speaker 1: a pussy and not he wasn't wearing a mask on
Speaker 1: the flight. Oh my god. So Delta investigated and the
Speaker 1: picture obviously wouldn't viral. They banned him for not sacrificing
Speaker 1: for the greater good. So the guy that shot Osama
Speaker 1: bin Ladin is banned from Delta because he did not sacrifice.
Speaker 1: So he took the original advice from Dr Faucci to
Speaker 1: not wear a mask, and he got in trouble for that.
Speaker 1: Not the change of position. I got you, all right,
Speaker 1: Uh we ran through the bat or not to be.
Speaker 1: I know you've got places to go, Gascon and things
Speaker 1: to do and all that. So we'll put the baby
Speaker 1: to bed. We'll be back in the Radio Magic Radio
Speaker 1: Box tonight leven pm in the West and two am
Speaker 1: on Monday morning in the East, and we'll be back
Speaker 1: out and talking about all the weekend NBA playoff games,
Speaker 1: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Have a wonderful day.
Speaker 1: Thanks for supporting the show, and we'll catch you next time.