1 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that just partnered with Life Alert 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: in France to rename their famous monuments the Iffel Tower, 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: and I can't get up the book. You're getaway now 4 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: with Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news 5 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except 6 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: we've got a laser. Those other peris granees just don't. 7 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of Pittsburgh. If you've 8 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: worked in law enforcement long enough, you may believe that 9 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 1: you've seen everything, especially if you work in Florida. But 10 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:43,280 Speaker 1: this criminal in Pennsylvania is a true original. Really. A 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: man named Theo Radson allegedly stole a thirty thousand dollars 12 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: full sized harp last week. Whoa you know the large 13 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: musical instrument? You gonna do with that? Like? Where's the 14 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: market to even resell that? Sneak away and play it crazy? 15 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: He took it down to the river bank because it 16 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: had wheels on it, and then for some reason, Theo 17 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: removed his clothes, jumped into the water with the harp, 18 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:15,400 Speaker 1: and started struggling in the river. He thought he was 19 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: a cherub. Not surprisingly, a few minutes later, the police 20 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,319 Speaker 1: were called about some idiot drowning in the river holding 21 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: a large harp. At first, nine one one thought that 22 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: must be a joke, but nope, it was actually true, 23 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 1: and luckily rescuers were able to get there in time 24 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 1: to pull both to shore, the harp as they pull 25 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: him out. So it's like, why isn't the magic working? 26 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: Come on? Theo's at the hospital now and is in 27 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: stable condition. He did speak with deputies and they found 28 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: out that somehow THEO thought the instrument could float and 29 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: that he could ride it down the river to his 30 00:01:54,040 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: grandpa's house and then sell it on Craigslist. You can 31 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,279 Speaker 1: do that. You can do that with a banjo. Oh yeah, 32 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: it's got enough air in it. The owners are pursuing 33 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: charges related to the stolen harps, so THEO most likely 34 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: will be serving time. Yeah, he's thousand dollars more than 35 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:21,680 Speaker 1: most boats. This next laser story is out of Vancouver, 36 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: British Columbia. Finally a place where my work might actually 37 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: be appreciated because a new museum just opened in downtown 38 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: called the Museum of Personal Failure. How are we not 39 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: a sponsor? I'm waiting so long. It's a pop up 40 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: for now, it's not permanent. So the person behind it 41 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: is a man named Avon Collins. He came up with 42 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: the idea after a recent breakup. So a failed relationship 43 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: and God, wait to show her you bounce back. Yeah, 44 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: he's proud of it. He wanted to put posters up 45 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: around Vancouver with the headline failures. Wanted all right, what 46 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,400 Speaker 1: do they guts? So what's in the museum? Featured items 47 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: include a dead plant, a divorced woman's wedding dress, failed 48 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 1: art projects, an entire wall of rejected job applications, and 49 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:21,280 Speaker 1: a producer's music album that went absolutely nowhere. Well okay, 50 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: there's a place for it now. And I love that 51 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: each one has a little write up next to it 52 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: that explains the entire backstory. One guy just wrote a 53 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: long list of all of his biggest fails in his 54 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: life personally, and that made the cut. He told a 55 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: reporter that having his list of failures accepted into the 56 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: museum felt like a success in a weird way. Ironically, 57 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: I feel like I want to get in here. I know, 58 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: I feel like you'd leave the museum and being like 59 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: not doing too bad? Yeah, yeah, my life could be sadder. Yeah, 60 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: So good for that guy and Avan's message overall is 61 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: that his museum is just a celebration of the fact 62 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: that failure is, okay, just part of the road to success. Jeff. 63 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: Everybody fails. It's the only way you'll actually learn and grow. 64 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: Let's go to your final laser story out of Hibernation 65 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: Heights EO right now. Groundhog Days coming up on February second, 66 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: and you know who is not looking forward to it? Peta, 67 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: where we go? Okay, they've been calling for Punk Satani 68 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: Phil's replacement for years now, and this time they may 69 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 1: have hit on a solution. They want the Groundhog Club 70 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: to quote Chuck its tired tradition of harassing a shy 71 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: animal and instead replace him with a giant three D hologram. 72 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,799 Speaker 1: I thought they were going to for sure do Ai Phil. 73 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: That's Wow. Well that's basically what it is. Oh it is. 74 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: It's an Ai mock up where he's twenty feet tall 75 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: with words over his head that say six more weeks 76 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: of winter or early spring, and they should let him 77 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,279 Speaker 1: talk and can give him like celebrity voices and stuff. 78 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,080 Speaker 1: They said they can make him talk to Wow. And 79 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: just so you know, the Winter version of Punksitani is blue, 80 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: and the spring one is pink with flowers all around icee. 81 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: So that's how you know. It's kind of like a 82 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: gender reveal for the weather exactly summer Phil for the 83 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: first time, George jumps out in a bikini. Yeah, Peta 84 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: says they'll even cover the cost of the hologram projector 85 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: if the Groundhog Club is willing to quote retire Phil 86 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: to a reputable sanctuary with his family. You know, I 87 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: feel like they should take him up on that offer. 88 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: Who's still going to watch the groundhog? Yeah? Is that 89 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: still the train? Don't kill it? And it's inaccurate? How 90 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: dare you say that about Phil? Well, honestly, Brooks is 91 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: looking at him like lunch. If he sees his shadow, 92 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: that means the sun is out, so shouldn't it be early? Okay, 93 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: it's always bothered me. It doesn't make sense. Really, the 94 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: tradition that's two hundred years old is bothersome to you. 95 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: It should be this spring is coming early because the 96 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: sun is out, because if you have a shadow, there 97 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 1: has to be light. But is he obviously this is 98 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: why we just watched a groundhog brook I wouldn't question. 99 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 1: It's just a fun tradition. But the Groundhog Commission is 100 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: not gonna budge on it. And this isn't the first 101 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: time PETE has pitched an alternative option. Last year they 102 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: offered a vegan friendly weather reveal cake cut into it, 103 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: and two years ago they suggested flipping a giant golden 104 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: coin because that would technically be more accurate since Phil's 105 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: only been right on his predictions about forty percent of 106 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: the time. Oh wow, embarrassing. So don't even come out 107 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: of the hole this year, philockingly bad results. I've never 108 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: seen Brook so angry about any stupid OK personally, I mean, 109 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: I do have a different idea. Why not put this 110 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: guy front and center? And if he pokes his head 111 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: out of his shell, it means he's going to be 112 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,400 Speaker 1: horny for six more weeks and that's something I think 113 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: we can all get behind. Sound means Laser Stories has 114 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: come to an end for the day. We'll do it again, 115 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: same time on Friday.