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Speaker 1: My baby daddy chill.

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Speaker 2: But I'm gonna keep it real. We didn't work out

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Speaker 2: because you don't pay bills, baby.

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Speaker 1: On my hips.

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Speaker 2: So I don't wear heels, zip block bags and it

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Speaker 2: got good seals cold little fridge. I keeps next chill

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Speaker 2: four years old. If she don't stay still, kiss her

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Speaker 2: in the mouth and you might get killed eating in

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Speaker 2: the car, and I know she's gonna spill. My life

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Speaker 2: is a mess. Why did I have kids? Board in

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Speaker 2: school is next? I like born in sex. But I

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Speaker 2: can't get no deep with her. All in my bed, Mimmy.

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Speaker 1: All I ever really hear is Miami. I don't get

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Speaker 1: a chance to breathe. I'm a Mimimi. Welcome back, guys,

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Speaker 1: good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica. I'm Mela.

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Speaker 2: And it is that holiday season, holidays season, almost Christmas.

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Speaker 1: It is, and I have not bought one gift to.

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Speaker 3: Me either, And I feel like I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: like for my kid, yeah, because then I'll be a

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Speaker 3: bad mom.

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Speaker 1: But like I just I hate. I hate Christmas. I really,

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Speaker 1: I'm not the branch.

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Speaker 3: I liked the holiday season, but I'm not into like

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Speaker 3: spending a whole bunch of money to feel the beast

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Speaker 3: on some fake, some fake ass holiday.

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Speaker 2: I do like Christmas somesh but I realized that I'm

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Speaker 2: not like like some of my other mom friends or

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Speaker 2: just friends in general. I go to their house, their

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Speaker 2: shit is like decked out. I'm like, damn, I have

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Speaker 2: like literally just put the Christmas up tree up yesterday.

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Speaker 2: I pulled it out the garage. Yep, it's fake. And like,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, go to my friend's house. They have like

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Speaker 2: fucking twine wrapped around shit and like just fake snow

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Speaker 2: in corners.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I think I had like a bomb ass

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Speaker 3: house maybe, but like.

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Speaker 1: I like low key.

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Speaker 2: It's not that I don't now I'm like I should

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Speaker 2: have done that, Like that's cute, but I forget. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like what's happening anyway. We have a special guest today.

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Speaker 2: We have Jessicaro So And you know, it's so crazy

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Speaker 2: because you don't how many of our followers sent your video,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, so many people just kept sending me your

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Speaker 2: video and I was.

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Speaker 1: Like, wait, I know her.

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Speaker 2: She we were following each other, but like it was

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Speaker 2: before you made that video, but I know you had

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Speaker 2: other videos too, but that one kind of like blew

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Speaker 2: up crazy and.

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Speaker 1: All the moms like mom just keep sending me that that.

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Speaker 3: So if you don't know Jessica Carrose, she like recently

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Speaker 3: was on the Shade Room.

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Speaker 1: I didn't make it a shade room. What's not quite yet?

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Speaker 1: If I do in the shade Room, it's an I

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Speaker 1: thought you did make it to the shore. I didn't

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Speaker 1: make the show.

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Speaker 4: I made it quite a few different little popping pages,

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Speaker 4: but not quite the share Room.

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Speaker 1: They hated. They hated on me a little bit. It's okay,

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Speaker 1: loo key, we're about to cement. Yeah, let me do that.

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Speaker 1: If I's in share room, that would be legity. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: She made a parody of like a Cardi song with

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Speaker 3: her daughter, like a cool ass, cute ass video thank

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Speaker 3: You the Money song Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Is talking about yeah we open up the show. So

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Speaker 1: basically what you just heard right.

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Speaker 2: Now, guys, that's Jessica Roes and it's hilarious and it's

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Speaker 2: basically a parody of Cardi. Yeah, but talking about motherhood,

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Speaker 2: and I think, yeah when we when I saw it,

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Speaker 2: I was like, Yep, can relate to that?

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Speaker 1: Yep?

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Speaker 2: Yeah that yep, that's my life, yep, yep, yep, yep,

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Speaker 2: can't get no deep.

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Speaker 1: Yep, yep, that's the worst part.

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Speaker 4: You know, a lot of the songs and stuff that

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Speaker 4: I do, like, I really I'm a mom that loves

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Speaker 4: like aggressive, like really bad music with lots of cussing,

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Speaker 4: Like I love hip hop and rap. So it's just

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Speaker 4: fun to me to like put like a clean, fun

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Speaker 4: spin onto it and make it like motherhood related and.

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Speaker 2: See people relate to it. So it's pretty I love it.

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Speaker 2: A bunch of people relate to it. I know that

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Speaker 2: ship is going crazy, you know, even my like little

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Speaker 2: white I'm in, like my white homegirls from high school.

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Speaker 2: It's like our group chat looky to be annoying me

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Speaker 2: because they'd be saiding like cat shit shit yeah, like

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Speaker 2: just like stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, kids are like the most popular ship

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Speaker 1: watched on YouTube.

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Speaker 2: Really I don't like cats too, so it's probably not

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Speaker 2: actually has nothing to do with being white.

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Speaker 1: I just actually hate cats.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and people and this, but specifically in this group

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Speaker 2: of mine, they just keep sending catch it and like

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Speaker 2: a lot of funny ship that goes over like ship

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Speaker 2: not funny.

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Speaker 1: That goes over my head because I'm like what don yeh?

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Speaker 2: So confused, but they sent me your One of the

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Speaker 2: girls sent your video was like, man, I love being

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Speaker 2: a mom, but like I feel this so hard, and

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Speaker 2: she said and I.

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Speaker 1: Was like, oh my god. I was like, she's coming on,

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Speaker 1: She's coming on our show. And she's like what. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I know a lot of people, really,

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Speaker 4: a lot of people say like you know, like you're

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Speaker 4: saying stuff that people feel like they're not allowed to,

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Speaker 4: like say like I'm trying to get some dick and

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Speaker 4: I can't get none with like God forbid in mind that, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: because it's not like I didn't have sex to have

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Speaker 4: so stuff like that. But yeah, welcome to our world.

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Speaker 4: I like you guys to show like a couple of

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Speaker 4: things that I that I've been able to catch and

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Speaker 4: watch have been like super funny, entertaining.

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Speaker 1: You guys keep it real.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I think we're I think we're we're like

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Speaker 2: on the same girl, like, we just want to say things.

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Speaker 2: We just want to have these conversations that I think

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Speaker 2: a lot of women either have behind closed doors or

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Speaker 2: just are even afraid to have or have never had

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Speaker 2: and are like it just had it in their head

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Speaker 2: and they're like, oh.

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Speaker 4: Shit, I'm about to say that ship yeah, exactly, No,

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Speaker 4: for sure. Even baby Daddy thinks it's funny. Even baby

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Speaker 4: Daddy thinks it's funny. So yeah, like so who filmed?

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Speaker 4: Who films it?

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Speaker 1: You? Actually my friend? Well okay, so this was the

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Speaker 1: first time, which this was like we got a little

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Speaker 1: in downtown La, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: Like my homegirl Tsha, she did the video. She's like

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Speaker 4: a she does film and photography and stuff. So she

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Speaker 4: hooked it up for me and she h out the teacher.

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Speaker 4: She really had like a good idea. She was like,

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Speaker 4: because I'm not. She was like, little bitch, you need

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Speaker 4: to get like a little laundry ride. Then going we

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Speaker 4: need you with the one. Then you go and switch

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Speaker 4: into the mom stuff. It's gonna be lit.

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Speaker 1: I was like, all right, girl, and she really did

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Speaker 1: her thing.

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Speaker 4: But before that, the first video that I ever did

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Speaker 4: was actually me just fucking around to Bodak Mommy, and

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Speaker 4: that one went viral too, but it went viral on

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Speaker 4: Complexes platform in comparison to mine because I was just

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Speaker 4: messing around. So I just threw a Snapchat filter on

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Speaker 4: and recorded me and my daughter Nyla and it took off.

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Speaker 4: But since I didn't have no tags on it or

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Speaker 4: nothing like that. No one knew where to find.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got like a couple thousand followers off of it,

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Speaker 1: but it wasn't like anything crazy.

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Speaker 4: But this one was like legit tagged and it took off,

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Speaker 4: and especially because it was done professionally. But just for

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Speaker 4: the past year, I've just been kind of like standing

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Speaker 4: up my little light, where do you record?

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Speaker 1: Girl in my apartment? Like the mute the song you record?

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Speaker 2: Like that's actually Tisha's brother, my homeboy to the.

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Speaker 1: Girl over there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my friend Anddred he does music and he does

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Speaker 4: acting and stuff, and he's like this is funny, like

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Speaker 4: I'll help you out come record and we.

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Speaker 1: Did it that way. But yeah, have you always are

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Speaker 1: you into music? Like is that something that used.

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Speaker 4: So it's not, no, it's not like I've always kind

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Speaker 4: of like messed around like on some like drunk stuff

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Speaker 4: even before like my daughter, like freestyling and messing around

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Speaker 4: like that.

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Speaker 1: But for the most part, I just think that it's

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Speaker 1: I'm actually.

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Speaker 2: Just really good at like rewriting stuff to make it

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Speaker 2: like funny, like parodies.

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Speaker 1: Maybe comedy is in your future, yeah, like comedy would

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Speaker 1: be dope.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, or even like It's interesting that it's taken off

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Speaker 4: the way that it is because I never I'm not

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Speaker 4: really comfortable being like the front person, right, Like, I

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Speaker 4: feel like I'm a content creator. I would be happy

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Speaker 4: if I could like make a living creating content for

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Speaker 4: anyone else. So if anyone wants me to write some

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Speaker 4: stuff for them, like I'm your person opposed to being

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Speaker 4: being the one in the center in the spotlight. But

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Speaker 4: I mean it's it's doing this thing. People are really

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Speaker 4: messing with it. So that's so dope. But even then,

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Speaker 4: still people care more about Nila. I'm sure you guys

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Speaker 4: have no like people care more about your kids and

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Speaker 4: they care more, Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: So like you know that top you know, top whatever

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Speaker 2: thing people are doing, the top top nine, like your

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Speaker 2: top nine like photos people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I always at the end of the year, if

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Speaker 1: I yeah, I start at the end of the year.

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Speaker 1: I as your kids. Yes. I was like, let me

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Speaker 1: go and see what this is. I want to look.

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Speaker 2: Literally it was two pictures of me. The rest were

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Speaker 2: of ire and her dad.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I was like this, I can't escape this motherfucker right

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Speaker 2: exactly how you don't get on my Instagram? And yeah,

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Speaker 2: them and him, I'm like, the fuck.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they work photos.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they love them, they love them, Yeah, I love them.

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Speaker 1: I love my little mug getting married. I love my

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Speaker 1: daughter too. She's a lot. But you said my daughters

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Speaker 1: for your birthday May night. Okay, so she turned me

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Speaker 1: this year, then five and next May.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, all kids are different.

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Speaker 1: It's a learning curve. Oh my god, do you guys

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Speaker 1: want more kids? I'm seriously wondering. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. So I go back to you, like one.

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Speaker 2: Or two, I thought, you know what, I want more

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Speaker 2: kids if I found a partner that I could like

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Speaker 2: that whole. But you can't predict that, but I would

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Speaker 2: if I could find next time around, Like that's why

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Speaker 2: I'm doing the work on myself now, so that hopefully

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Speaker 2: I can find and make better choices and attract better

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Speaker 2: you know, partners in my life that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like would be it would be around. Like

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Speaker 1: my my.

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Speaker 2: Baby dad has been on tour for a whole month,

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Speaker 2: so you know, it's difficult. Like, first of all, we're

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Speaker 2: not together, so he doesn't live here anyway, and then

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Speaker 2: on top of it, he's gone. He's been gone consistently

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Speaker 2: for a while now, so I would. I think if

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Speaker 2: I did, it would hopefully hopefully be a situation where

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Speaker 2: I was with that person.

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Speaker 1: Hopefully. Girl.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so if you give me knocked up and we're

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Speaker 3: signing a contract him traumatized this several times, Like it

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Speaker 3: would absolutely like it would have to be that either

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Speaker 3: like I'm the sugar mama and you're up and I

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Speaker 3: want to keep it and then that's one option, or

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Speaker 3: like we're totally definitely going to be together and hopefully

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Speaker 3: you're rich.

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Speaker 1: No money. Money is a factory. Is a fact.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a soldier by any means, but it takes

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Speaker 2: a certain amount of money to maintain a certain type

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Speaker 2: of sanity. Look, you need money just for convenience, because

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Speaker 2: sometimes sometimes it's just like oh my god, just let's

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Speaker 2: post its five times a row.

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Speaker 1: I can't I can't go anywhere. I don't use too much.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you gotta have money, and I need your money

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Speaker 3: to entertain your kids properly, you know, like Disney World

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Speaker 3: costs a lot of fucking money, Like.

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Speaker 4: First of all, and then someone to take the kids

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Speaker 4: to Disney World, because I don't even want to go,

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Speaker 4: right every time that I want every time that I

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Speaker 4: went to Disneyland.

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Speaker 1: I've just been thoroughly annoyed the entire time, Like it's

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Speaker 1: I had a year, I want to go about myself.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think it's expired now.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to you need to also take nanny's

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Speaker 3: on trips. Yeah, if you want a successful marriage, yeah,

250
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Speaker 3: and a successful life, like for sure. It just costs money.

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Speaker 3: And I've done like I'm doing it financially low key alone,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, it sucks, this is annoying, Like I

253
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Speaker 3: don't I don't want.

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Speaker 1: To do this again.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I get help, but it's like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I love my baby daddy, but he's still just a

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Speaker 4: regular nigga. So he gives me a regular child supportonaire. Yeah,

258
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Speaker 4: so it's still and but it was an agreed upon

259
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Speaker 4: thing though he said please do that. He did because

260
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Speaker 4: he developed a gambling problem when I got pregnant. So

261
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Speaker 4: he was like, if it's just taken from me, I

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Speaker 4: think that I'll do better than telling you I'm going

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Speaker 4: to have it and then.

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Speaker 1: I don't have it on that day. At least he's thirty.

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Speaker 1: He just turned thirty. Yeah, no, he's definitely not.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's just that one. It was just that

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Speaker 3: one situation. No, I like, I'm not gonna give it

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Speaker 3: to you. If it's up to me, it's not going

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Speaker 3: to happen. He's getting so much better, and I feel like,

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Speaker 3: especially with the things that I say.

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Speaker 4: And do online, I have to be really careful sometimes

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Speaker 4: about like being clear.

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Speaker 2: Like my daughter has a father and he's involved. He's

274
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Speaker 2: not a piece of ship. As a dad, he was

275
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Speaker 2: a horrible partner.

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Speaker 1: He was also his family background is at their mother.

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Speaker 1: His dad has like hell kids with like men.

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Speaker 4: Hella different women, and monogamy was always an issue like

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Speaker 4: from the jump. So I know that he loves and

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Speaker 4: cares about me, and I think that's why we have

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Speaker 4: like a decent relationship. But as far as like being

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Speaker 4: able to be together and him just committing to me

283
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Speaker 4: as an individual person, Like I think the last time

284
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Speaker 4: that we tried to be together and we broke up

285
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,520
Speaker 4: was because he was like, I don't understand why I

286
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Speaker 4: can't have plenty of fish for conversations.

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Speaker 1: And I was just like what fell? And then I'm

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Speaker 1: like low key crazy too because I saw that he.

289
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Speaker 4: Had the app on his phone and I was trying

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Speaker 4: to like break into his phone and if you slide

291
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Speaker 4: right on iPhone, there's four apps techno, yeah, take notes, listen,

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Speaker 4: I am a I get in phones. Okay, so if

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Speaker 4: you slide right, the four apps that are on the.

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Speaker 1: Side are your most recently used applications.

295
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Speaker 4: So even though I had been having a difficult time

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Speaker 4: breaking into the actual phone, I saw that plenty of ficials.

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Speaker 1: You have proof that at least the nigga was on that.

298
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Speaker 4: But I didn't want but because but because it wasn't

299
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Speaker 4: solid enough evidence.

300
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,560
Speaker 1: It was like solid enough, It wasn't that good that

301
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,679
Speaker 1: I could just bring it up.

302
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Speaker 4: So I was like, okay, cool. So I see that

303
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,560
Speaker 4: he's in there. Let me do this boot lock the phone,

304
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,040
Speaker 4: closing down. He gets out the shower. So I said

305
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,120
Speaker 4: a little this is gonna make me sound so crazy,

306
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,480
Speaker 4: So I said, at I said a little thing on

307
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Speaker 4: my phone, and my phone things like I get a

308
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,959
Speaker 4: text and I'm looking and then I'm like wow.

309
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:27,640
Speaker 1: He's like what.

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00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 4: I'm like, someone just sent me a screenshot of your

311
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,720
Speaker 4: profile on plenty of Fish and they just said is

312
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,959
Speaker 4: this your baby? Not even a question mark? I was like, nigga,

313
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,240
Speaker 4: do you have a plenty of Fish count?

314
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:47,000
Speaker 1: He was reverse psychology. The he was like, yo, I've

315
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,760
Speaker 1: done this before you. He was like, hey, like that

316
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:50,720
Speaker 1: ship is old.

317
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,640
Speaker 4: He was like, God, must be some old stuff. I'm like, cool,

318
00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,719
Speaker 4: because I still don't have enough evidence, so I give

319
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,079
Speaker 4: it a week. I'm like, maybe that scared him. And

320
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,400
Speaker 4: the next Saturday, I look, that ship is still a

321
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,560
Speaker 4: recent application, like nigga, you're still on plenty of Events.

322
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,960
Speaker 4: So I literally bring it up again. I'm like, so

323
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,080
Speaker 4: I made it plenty of Fish and I was on

324
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,520
Speaker 4: there and I came across you because you know, it's

325
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,600
Speaker 4: like a radius, so yeah, eventually, because I didn't come

326
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,360
Speaker 4: across a couple of niggas that I done, you know,

327
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:28,160
Speaker 4: like if you have a radius, yeah, yeah, they come through.

328
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,880
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I saw you, and you know that

329
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,000
Speaker 4: it tells you that it's like a recent thing. Like

330
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,520
Speaker 4: it'll show you like if they're online, or it'll show

331
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,240
Speaker 4: you a certain amount of minutes depending on the dating

332
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:39,800
Speaker 4: after you're.

333
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,040
Speaker 2: And he was like yeah, like like how many minutes

334
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,080
Speaker 2: away you are from somebody else?

335
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,920
Speaker 1: Know how long you've been on me? Like how active?

336
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,480
Speaker 1: Like active? Like yeah, exactly. Sometimes I think the Spacebook

337
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,680
Speaker 1: or Instagram Instagram did. But then people were like, yeah,

338
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. They were like, I don't think they're

339
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:00,520
Speaker 1: Like I.

340
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:03,720
Speaker 3: Used to be scared if I didn't answer some sex

341
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 3: and then I wanted to turn like suck, They're gonna

342
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 3: stay active.

343
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,160
Speaker 1: Yeah see, I let go and stuff.

344
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 4: Like that, like even like with my red receipts, like

345
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,120
Speaker 4: I leave my red receepts on for everybody now and yeah,

346
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,640
Speaker 4: because I just feel like I don't know, like I guess,

347
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,680
Speaker 4: I guess it's a I guess it's a petty thing.

348
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,800
Speaker 1: But I'm never I'm never gonna feel bad about.

349
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,600
Speaker 4: You being able to physically see that I read something

350
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,600
Speaker 4: and didn't respond versus the fact that people read stuff

351
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,360
Speaker 4: and don't respond all the time.

352
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,680
Speaker 1: But just because your redversat.

353
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,920
Speaker 2: Thrown on, like it's not like it's the same ship,

354
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 2: Like I don't I don't care, Like I just couldn't

355
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,200
Speaker 2: respond or I didn't want to respond, Like that's the

356
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 2: end of it.

357
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,360
Speaker 1: I thought about that recently because for what, like, I

358
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 1: know you've seen my text, whether you have your reverceats

359
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:41,720
Speaker 1: on or not.

360
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:45,480
Speaker 3: I mean it's like your mind prioritizes the way it's

361
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,440
Speaker 3: supposed to do, and sometimes I do forget shit I

362
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 3: do a lot and most of my friends happens.

363
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,800
Speaker 1: My friends know that, but like.

364
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,920
Speaker 3: I get I get guilted and doing a lot of shit.

365
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,240
Speaker 3: But I thought about that like this week, like maybe

366
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,320
Speaker 3: should I read receipts on you? Should?

367
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,440
Speaker 2: I think it's I think that it's a good Uh

368
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,720
Speaker 2: let's see all saying nobody won't know.

369
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,320
Speaker 1: I literally wanted someone to say never saw the text.

370
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:13,400
Speaker 1: I don't even know what Textah. Yeah, you know what

371
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 1: it does.

372
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 2: It forces you to be accountable for the fact that

373
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,400
Speaker 2: you don't owe anybody anything.

374
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's what it is.

375
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,920
Speaker 4: It's like I love all my friends dearly, but like

376
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,840
Speaker 4: I don't I don't have to always respond to you

377
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 4: like you're not.

378
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,840
Speaker 1: No and you know what, and that is that's huge.

379
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,040
Speaker 3: I think that's a big deal, like knowing Like I

380
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 3: think it's a part of growing up and remembering to

381
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 3: be selfish, because I think we're all learning that, especially

382
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,520
Speaker 3: having kids and like having to like divide your time

383
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,840
Speaker 3: that way. But I feel like being selfish and not

384
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,520
Speaker 3: not giving a fuck about people's expectation of you is

385
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 3: a huge thing because I'm not going to be able

386
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,600
Speaker 3: to please everyone all the time and you should know

387
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 3: that as my friend, and you should know that I

388
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,160
Speaker 3: don't really give a fuck.

389
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:59,320
Speaker 2: Erica is like this naturally, Yeah, this is es she

390
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,880
Speaker 2: doesn't want people. You're right, Yeah, my best friend is married.

391
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,760
Speaker 4: She got a whole husband, they have their whole own

392
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:11,760
Speaker 4: like child together. She is my best friend, and like

393
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,159
Speaker 4: we cannot always talk and we leave each other on

394
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 4: red all the time, no explanation, like sometimes that should

395
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,919
Speaker 4: be irritating to me, but like I'll be honest, Like,

396
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 4: but you you're forced to realize, like everyone has their

397
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,400
Speaker 4: own lives going on, Like I'm the only one raising

398
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:27,800
Speaker 4: my child.

399
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,080
Speaker 1: She's the only one raising her child, like she happens,

400
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,560
Speaker 1: Like we all have jobs, we're all grown. There's too

401
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:33,240
Speaker 1: much going on.

402
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 3: And I've had friends that guilt you and make you

403
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 3: feel bad and they're not gonna be a friend anymore.

404
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 1: In fact, they have a friend like that right now.

405
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:39,719
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

406
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 3: I hope she doesn't listen, because this is why I was.

407
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,200
Speaker 3: People are to think I'm own a high bitch, like

408
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,480
Speaker 3: level ten. She got in a car accident like a

409
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 3: week ago, and I was like, I'm gonna try and

410
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 3: come out this already sounds like you're rich.

411
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,400
Speaker 1: I didn't start good. I'm going myself out there for anybody. Now,

412
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,680
Speaker 1: streaming can be this is, but this is a part

413
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 1: of it.

414
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,040
Speaker 2: Like shit happens and everybody's lives right exactly we're.

415
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,119
Speaker 1: Told or not for told.

416
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 3: I told her I didn't come out there. Granted she

417
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,879
Speaker 3: lives in Testine. Okay, Okay, she got an accident in Torrents.

418
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,159
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm in the house on Torres but she

419
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:21,400
Speaker 3: had her little girlfriend there or whatever. Okay, you're good,

420
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 3: Like I'm I'm moving this week. I'm gonna try and

421
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,399
Speaker 3: get out there on Thursday, which I just took a

422
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 3: nap today from Monday.

423
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 1: You moved Wednesday, I know.

424
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 3: But I told her put yourself up though I know,

425
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,920
Speaker 3: I know I did, and I do that a lot.

426
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,679
Speaker 3: And today I was doing something. I was doing lashes

427
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:40,239
Speaker 3: and I had like a wave of remembrance, like I

428
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,320
Speaker 3: did go see this, And she texted me and I'm

429
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,439
Speaker 3: I'm about to text her back because I was supposed

430
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 3: to drive up north for like to do some shit

431
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,040
Speaker 3: and I did it and I was like, oh no,

432
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,880
Speaker 3: what lie am I gonna make up to tell her

433
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 3: like I didn't see it because I'm literally saying, and

434
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,199
Speaker 3: I was like, why should I feel like this. I'm like,

435
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 3: I'm in a fucking dog and I get this is

436
00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 3: a very emergency situation and it is.

437
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,199
Speaker 1: And of course I'm there for her and I love

438
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 1: her and she would be there for me absolutely. And

439
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,359
Speaker 1: that's another thing. I try to be a really good friend.

440
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 1: I am a good friend. I'm not trying. I'm a

441
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 1: good friend.

442
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,199
Speaker 3: So like the fact that I was feeling all this

443
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 3: guilt because it's Sunday, and I'm like, well, now I

444
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 3: have to go through this at five, And then I

445
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 3: was thinking about driving up there tonight, but.

446
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,919
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, yeah, so I pull it. No, She's okay,

447
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 1: She's right, Yeah she is. But I know this particular person. Yeah,

448
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: but that's on her. She's like the same science, but

449
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,920
Speaker 1: on the Leo cus.

450
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 3: Not the Gemini couch, which makes her I'm just doing

451
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,160
Speaker 3: twenty second.

452
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,160
Speaker 1: I'm cancered Gemini couch, which I'm very cool, calm, collected.

453
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 3: Right, Just in case anybody's wondering right now, if you're

454
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 3: on the cancer Leo side, you look crazy.

455
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm cancer Leo, I don't know

456
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 4: that deep with the astrology. I'll tell you at August twelfth. No,

457
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 4: you're Leo, So I know, I know, I'm a Lee.

458
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 2: You're talking about it because you're sack deeply, you're deep

459
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: in there.

460
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 3: But she's sensitive and psycho. Yeah, so it's like, don't

461
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 3: cross her like it's a big deal.

462
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 1: Wooo. Why you didn't call me for my birthday on

463
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 1: the twenty eighth and I'm like, but I forgot. Yeah.

464
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 3: And also you have to realize, like what friends take

465
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 3: too much? Because if you don't call.

466
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,199
Speaker 2: Me, Mila, honestly, you have a You've had a lot

467
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,880
Speaker 2: going on this week, we had a meetup, you were

468
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 2: moving that day. You just got back from New Disney

469
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 2: World the day before. My wallet you lost your wallet.

470
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: You're trying to, you know, figure out, you know, your

471
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,119
Speaker 2: living situation, and you're like, you know, doing lashes and working.

472
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: You're good.

473
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 2: You don't owe anybody an excuse. But did you have

474
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 2: a part where you got a car accident? Yeah, but

475
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 2: you started that, but you checked on her and something.

476
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: Her girlfriend was there for her and she's okay. But

477
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 2: but that's what I'm saying, and you'll get there. It's

478
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:39,120
Speaker 2: not that you don't love her.

479
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 3: Well, but I'm realizing that now, like you can only

480
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 3: spread yourself.

481
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 1: So much and your real friends.

482
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying she's not my real friend, because

483
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 3: she is and I'll deal with that, but like I'm

484
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 3: totally gonna hear about it, like real friends are gonna

485
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,919
Speaker 3: know that if you're not going to be a big

486
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 3: like whoo who Arah, who are I'm got to kiss

487
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 3: your ass because of it.

488
00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: It's just like.

489
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 2: Okay, but you you got going here too, learn to

490
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 2: be a car accident. But still, like it's you have

491
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 2: other ship going on. That's that's hard to I feeling guilty.

492
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:14,200
Speaker 2: I feel guilty because you want to you you want

493
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 2: to please people.

494
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 3: Yes, people pleasing ship and it's crazy.

495
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you also care for people deeply too. I

496
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 2: think it's my empathy. Yeah, so I say those two

497
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 2: pair together make you feel like, oh my god, but

498
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 2: I need to try to You got to learn to

499
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 2: not offer ship. That's what I did. That's what I

500
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:31,360
Speaker 2: had to.

501
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:34,159
Speaker 4: Realize that like a part of me feeling obligated to

502
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 4: people was me over or even mean you know what

503
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 4: I mean, because you you didn't have to say I'll

504
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 4: go see Thursday, like I'm good for let me.

505
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 1: I don't know what you need.

506
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 4: I'm not going I can't make any commitments to anyone else.

507
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 4: It's too much going on.

508
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 1: Like I can't I can people self.

509
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'll never feel bad about Nachala for someone

510
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 4: that don't even know what's going on with me, true,

511
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 4: do you know what I mean?

512
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 1: And like everyone had like you just had so much

513
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: shit going on? Girl, you did. I had a little

514
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 1: lookig with this chick. Yeah.

515
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 3: I lost my wallet did like night before and I

516
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 3: pulled in the gas station and I have no gas.

517
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna be able to come

518
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,680
Speaker 1: because I had my wallet. Yeah.

519
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 3: She's like, it's your last day. I'm like that's fine.

520
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 3: I'm gonna come pick up my license and I'll see

521
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 3: this week. And I'm like I was going to come

522
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 3: into quit anyway. Yeah, and you quit?

523
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wait when'd you quit?

524
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 3: When she got a bad attitude because I couldn't make it,

525
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 3: She's like, I need the uber Like I'm not ubering

526
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,320
Speaker 3: to make forty dollars.

527
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 1: It's not yeah exactly, And.

528
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,440
Speaker 3: I don't like this anyway, and I'm gonna I was

529
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 3: gonna come there literally to be a good person and quit.

530
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: But now that you've you've.

531
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 3: Said it even better like and then and there would

532
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 3: be times in my life where I had jobs.

533
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 1: Another reason jobs are not for me.

534
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm like feeling like anxiety about like being late,

535
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 3: anxiety about calling in, but like this is because I'm

536
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 3: not supposed to be in that type of like, no,

537
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be told what to do.

538
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,160
Speaker 1: I feel neither mine either mine like should happened.

539
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 4: I finally like my job, and I still get the

540
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 4: anxiety over that. I feel like, especially when you're a

541
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 4: creative individual, I spend a lot of time, even at

542
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 4: my job, thinking about what I really want to be doing.

543
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,280
Speaker 4: So that's frustrating and it's stagnating. But I also like

544
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 4: just try to this is what's funding what you want

545
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 4: to do that I that I'm trying to prefell forward with.

546
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 4: So but but it's true, when you have a lot

547
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: going on in your head and you know that you're

548
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 4: capable of more, it could be.

549
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 3: Hard to like have someone pay you under under the

550
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 3: under wages right for your time, my precious time creating

551
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 3: some cool ship like you know, a new rap song, Yeah.

552
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,360
Speaker 1: Exactly, you know.

553
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 4: And then the way that I am is you know,

554
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 4: especially when my daughter getting to the age when she's

555
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 4: repeating shit, like she's like dropping stuff and being like oh.

556
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: Ship, and I'm like, oh god.

557
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 4: I the way that I speak is very like I'm

558
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 4: having to stop myself and being like, what's up, nigga.

559
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 1: It's like my coworkers, like you know, because.

560
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 4: Like the way that I'm just very who are Yeah,

561
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 4: Like I just am who I am? Like I cuss

562
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 4: a lot of Yeah. It's like but I'm almost like

563
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 4: code switching for corporate environment.

564
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: But you're not supposed to do that naturally. Naturally we're

565
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 1: not supposed to do it.

566
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 2: So it is difficult, but you can you find some people,

567
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 2: Yeah in a corporate yeah, you're not supposed to or not.

568
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: Yeah you have to. Yeah, but.

569
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 3: Do you feel like, as like black women, and especially

570
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 3: in a corporate setting or not just in a corporate setting,

571
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 3: but just amongst like less black people, you find yourself

572
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 3: having to come off a certain way or talk a

573
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 3: certain way because it's going to be like perceived, more

574
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 3: accepted more easily.

575
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: I don't be too loud, don't be too attitude it

576
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: because because like Okay.

577
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,920
Speaker 3: One time Beyonce wrote that that really deep article she

578
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 3: wrote about her son or whatever. But she was saying

579
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 3: something like one of the things she says like I

580
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 3: pray that like you can grow up to be a

581
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,640
Speaker 3: person that can be yourself no matter what, in any

582
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 3: sort like unapologetically yourself. And I feel like that's that's

583
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 3: kind of like I mean, obviously we can't be going

584
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 3: to the job like yeah, fuck she was that thinking.

585
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like why not not? Not? Why not?

586
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 3: I don't want to be I don't want to have

587
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,920
Speaker 3: to tone and tone down myself a lot, because then

588
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 3: what else am I toning down?

589
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? What I mean?

590
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 4: Like, no, it's definitely awkward, honestly, like being a black

591
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 4: person in a corporate environment period, Like it just is.

592
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 4: I have one other black person with me on my team,

593
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 4: and he's like super cool. He he has like an

594
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 4: actual afro, and like we sit next to each other,

595
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 4: and one of our supervisors like walks by every day

596
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 4: and it's.

597
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: Like, who'se afro is bigger than that?

598
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 4: And I'm just like, you're so fucking awkward, And like

599
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 4: one of my other white supervisors is like, man, I

600
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 4: wish I had an afro, Like can we like not

601
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 4: talk about acara or blackness for like five seconds. I

602
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 4: also usually have like Hella long nails, like but a

603
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,959
Speaker 4: bitch types eighty words per minute. I'll go fuck with

604
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 4: my acrylics or not mind your business every day. It's

605
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 4: like whenever I have them on, they're like those like

606
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 4: just do I don't know? So like stuff like that

607
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 4: can be awkward, but like you were saying, like there's

608
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 4: some stuff that you just.

609
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: Have to do in those kind of environments. Period, It's just.

610
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 4: How I make my money, Like yeah, yeah, I gotta

611
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 4: tell you look in a perfect world.

612
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 2: No, but that's we don't live in a perfect world. Yeah,

613
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 2: And even work, I work by the brand that I

614
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 2: work for is by my mom, so I can actually

615
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 2: navigate through that company and a little more relaxed than

616
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: I would in any other circumstances I have ever had

617
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 2: in my life, right, because that haven't always worked there,

618
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,959
Speaker 2: and I've definitely worked in other corporate environments where I've

619
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: had to be talk a certain way. And but I

620
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,640
Speaker 2: also feel like I don't know, like I don't feel

621
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 2: the need to talk a certain way. I talk a

622
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 2: certa way with my friends because I'm comfortable and I'm

623
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 2: with them. I don't necessarily feel comfortable anyway with you anyway.

624
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: So I'm not gonna I'm not gonna like be like yeah, nigga.

625
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 3: But I also do like I appreciate about us, all

626
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 3: of us. I mean, it's probably a lot because we're

627
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 3: like from the valley.

628
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 1: We're educated. But like I do, I do kind.

629
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,400
Speaker 3: Of like like the gift of gap and being able

630
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 3: to switch it up because I feel like people people

631
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 3: can hear you better. Yeah, if you can communicate effectively

632
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 3: in a certain way like you can, you can hit

633
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 3: a range of people.

634
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: Because I can, I can. I know this is the language.

635
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 3: You understand, you know what I'm saying, Like, don't come

636
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 3: at me that way, or you.

637
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 2: Know you're already putting you're already putting up. They're already

638
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: allowing people to judge you in whatever way. You might

639
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: be the most intelligent person who ever, but if you

640
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 2: come at someone in a corporate environment talking a certain way,

641
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 2: they're going to automatically think you're done.

642
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, So can I do that?

643
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 2: Sometimes I hear like you I would too, you know, yeah,

644
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: if the tables were turned, we probably would too, you

645
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: know what I mean, if we owned a business, we'd

646
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 2: be like, don't come up in here anything like that.

647
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, let keep it down. I'm liable. Just not talk

648
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 1: to niggas either. Sometimes I'm not just waiting for people

649
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 1: to speak. How you doing.

650
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 2: I've always been that type of person at work that

651
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 2: keeps work and my personal life separate. Like a lot

652
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 2: of my Like I have a friend who it's like

653
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 2: he can't every time he gets a job, like he

654
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: always has a drama. Yeah, I'm like, why are you?

655
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 2: Why are you so emotional about this? Y'all hang on

656
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 2: the weekends. Hanging out on the weekends. Don't behind on weekends.

657
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,120
Speaker 2: I literally, hey, what's up girl?

658
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:02,400
Speaker 1: Cool?

659
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 2: Cool, cool, We'll make the money and a piece. Let's

660
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: like even like, I've met some really cool people. I

661
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 2: don't know, there's something within me that I just like,

662
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,160
Speaker 2: I don't like to cross that line with people.

663
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't like.

664
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 2: I was good like until the past like two weeks though,

665
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 2: because no for real, because like my supervisor no, because

666
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 2: like my videos started doing really well and I walk

667
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: into work and I'm like dan kneel.

668
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 1: I can tell by the way, like a couple people

669
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: were looking at me judging.

670
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 2: Or just like especially when you know that concept right

671
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: well they Instagram I'm saying, so now they see you,

672
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 2: yea who you are outside, and then it's like such

673
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 2: a random circumstance that of you that's going crazy.

674
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 4: As later, my tits are to my neck right like

675
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 4: I haven't pushed up. My supervisor walk in like nope,

676
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 4: I don't even know about ship. I have a different

677
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 4: work name. They're walking up to me like.

678
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I didn't know that you uh do boop.

679
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: I had one of my.

680
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 4: Supervisors like pulling up the video like at we like

681
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 4: playing it for like one of my other supervisors. And

682
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 4: then you have to understand like them not even understanding

683
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 4: the concept, like these are people that I know don't

684
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 4: even probably understand that it's a.

685
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 2: Like she made it because they don't even listen. There

686
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 2: no part, so they're just like this bitch is just.

687
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 1: Like here like no, yeah.

688
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 4: So stuff like that can be awkward, especially now because

689
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 4: now I'm like damn, like I don't even know who's

690
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 4: really following me out, so I can't even like their

691
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 4: actual name is in Jessica, No, my name is not

692
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 4: at work.

693
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: I have a different phone name.

694
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 2: But at work though they know you. Yeah, okay, they do,

695
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: but everyone calls each other by their phone name, because

696
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: you have to get accustomed to like being.

697
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, definitely stock Air progressis No.

698
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: That's because the company culture is basically they never want

699
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 2: one if there, it's like a luxury situation. They never

700
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 2: want a client to call in and not be able

701
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,640
Speaker 2: to only remember someone's first name and not be able

702
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 2: to get to that person. So, because my name is

703
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: very common Jessica, there's already a Jessica that exists within

704
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 2: the company, So I had to come up with another

705
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 2: name that no one else has also to avoid Yeah,

706
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: did you make it?

707
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: Don't? Yeah? No, no, no. It was kind of like

708
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: well to.

709
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 4: A certain extent, like they had us like list out

710
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 4: like ten different names, and all the names that I listed.

711
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: Were people that were already there, already there. There's someone

712
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: was like, why don't you do this? I was like,

713
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: very cool. Interesting, it's kind of cool, like like an Aliens. Yeah,

714
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: it's kind of cool, ye Aliens.

715
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 2: So being that, like, you know, you're getting all this

716
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 2: attention on social media, do you what do you How

717
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 2: do you feel about social media?

718
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: It's something that you're on all the time.

719
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: Are you like one of those people that's like checking

720
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 2: your comments all the time I think that, yeah, I've really.

721
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 1: I struggled really bad things already in depression.

722
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 4: So like with the the the stuff taking off the

723
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 4: way that it is, like it's getting traffick to like everything,

724
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 4: so like all my accounts are kind of constantly blowing up.

725
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 4: So at first it was just watching it happen. Then

726
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 4: it didn't become necessarily obsessive with like checking stuff for

727
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 4: positive stuff. It was almost like checking stuff to like

728
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 4: make sure that like nobody didn't like it or do

729
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 4: you know what I mean like that because people were saying, yeah,

730
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 4: like it was. It still is, like it's an overwhelming

731
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 4: feeling to I have to have more control over going

732
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 4: to it because I wasn't like that before because.

733
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: I will not be on Instagram all day.

734
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 4: But the fact that I work a regular full time job,

735
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 4: I'm sitting there and I know this video, I'm like,

736
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 4: oh shit, like I wonder what's happening right now with it,

737
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 4: Like it became more obsessive to the point that, like

738
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 4: I think last week, I like turned my phone.

739
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: Off for like two or three days because I was like,

740
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: this is not it was too much. I was like,

741
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: this is not where it's at, you know, what I mean.

742
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 4: But then it's also kind of frustrating because I feel

743
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,959
Speaker 4: like I'm starting to understand social media a little bit

744
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 4: more as far as like a strategy and so knowing

745
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 4: that like to maintain a certain amount of engagement and

746
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 4: like keep things like going or do you know what

747
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 4: I mean, like trying to do Yeah, no, I'm sure

748
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 4: it's it's it can be a job to maintain stuff

749
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,480
Speaker 4: and it is a job, yeah, and then making sure

750
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 4: that things are a certain quality and then putting it

751
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 4: out the right way, putting the right timing.

752
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: Is this is this caption good?

753
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, right exactly, like using certain hashtags. And but I

754
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 4: found this thing I don't know if you guys do this,

755
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 4: called like hoot sweet or something. So it kind of

756
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 4: helped me because I just like dedicated like an hour

757
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 4: to sitting down and is she.

758
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 2: GOODA someone mentioned I heard that.

759
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, So it's like a platform. It's h.

760
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's like it has owls owls, sweet sweet sea.

761
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 4: And so you go onto it and you you schedule. Yeah,

762
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 4: I know, there's definitely a lot of because if you

763
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 4: dedicated to that, you can kind of just work. You

764
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 4: guys do a lot of like videos and stuff too.

765
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 4: Same with me, that could be frustrating because it doesn't

766
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 4: allow for.

767
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 1: Like video scheduling, so it's like little stuff, not the

768
00:32:58,680 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: at least not the one that I'm on.

769
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 2: Well I can handle that, yeah, yeah.

770
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 4: But so it's a lot. So I felt like I

771
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 4: was getting a little obsessive with it. So I'm trying

772
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 4: to trying to dial back from that. Then also knowing

773
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 4: like this is the time, like I mean, the most traffic,

774
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 4: This is when I need to be sending out like

775
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 4: media kits and shit, Like people aren't mailing me stuff

776
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 4: right now, Like I need to be in constant contact

777
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 4: with people.

778
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: So it's like, but it's not healthy. Yeah, it's not healthy.

779
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 4: It's not healthy because it's a bunch of other people's

780
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 4: opinions basically, and some of them are positive. But I

781
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 4: don't even want to engage too much in that because

782
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 4: I don't want that to start to impair what I'm

783
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 4: actually doing.

784
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: It's hard, it's hard to not let people's either positive

785
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: affirmations or negative affirmations or whatever you're doing, affect what

786
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: you do creatively. Yeah, because I've met like even now,

787
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 2: like I don't know what you're working on if you're

788
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 2: working on your next parody, but like you might start

789
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 2: overthinking it because top the next one.

790
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 4: Were supposed to shoot the next parody tomorrow, And like

791
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 4: I feel, like I said.

792
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: When I was originally doing them, it was a ring

793
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 2: light and like my camera like at my house and

794
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 2: just me editing it. Now, because I've done something to

795
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 2: a certain amount of quality, I don't feel like I

796
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:15,440
Speaker 2: can go backwards for certain stuff.

797
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 1: But like you don't you want to keep going for it.

798
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: You also want to stop put putting out new ship.

799
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 4: That's the other thing too, that's just so much for

800
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 4: a production YG Like it's a whole planning process now

801
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 4: for everything, because sometimes I was just recording on my computer.

802
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 4: Everyone I'm like, Okay, I gotta go to this studio

803
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 4: now make everything like sound a certain type of way.

804
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 4: And then it can feel stagnant because it's not even

805
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 4: what I want to do. I'm a writer, do you

806
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 4: know what I mean? But like seeing what's getting me

807
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 4: the attention to build up like an audience or or

808
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 4: or anything to start pitching what it is that I

809
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 4: really even want to do, the fact that it has

810
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 4: to be this can be overwhelming sometimes too, especially because

811
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 4: like I said, like I have to be the main

812
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 4: person on the forefront, and then my daughter like she

813
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 4: not even really with the ships like that, like sitting

814
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 4: there like dog like are we done?

815
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: Like what are we doing like with the ships? Yeah?

816
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: So yeah, but but it's cool U.

817
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 3: Speaking of daughters, Hi, baby, I think it's cool though

818
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 3: that uh, how like the journey kind of kind of

819
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 3: like you didn't I'm sure you didn't know you're going

820
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 3: to be doing this like years ago, so like sometimes

821
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 3: the journey kind of tells you what you're gonna be doing.

822
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 2: All right, what's up, I'm almost done, go in there,

823
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 2: and then well we're going to decorate the tree.

824
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: Okay, oh come here, Oh you don't how to do it?

825
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: Zip yourself down? Go on? Oh. Speaking of like.

826
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 3: Your social media engagement and backlash and positive and negative,

827
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 3: before we started, I know you mentioned you're gonna like

828
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,439
Speaker 3: mostly your negative comments are from like men.

829
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

830
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 3: What is like like the top three negative comments because

831
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 3: I can't actually what a man has to say about

832
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 3: a woman discussing motherhood and you you have to know,

833
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 3: there's no.

834
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: Perspective on that for a man with penis.

835
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 4: A lot of like men just like run off with

836
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 4: the notion that like because of the little punchlines that

837
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 4: I do about baby Dad.

838
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: That like, baby Dad isn't involved. So a lot of

839
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 1: it is girl like, let your let that man be.

840
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,439
Speaker 2: A part of it, like you really like they ran

841
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,959
Speaker 2: with this, like your video the whole story.

842
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, you built a whole narrative around what you even

843
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,879
Speaker 4: think is happening here, do you know what I mean?

844
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 4: And so that's one you need to like, let that

845
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 4: man be a part of that child's life.

846
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: Another one is if I am.

847
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 4: So upset with being a mom, then I should have

848
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,399
Speaker 4: just never had a kid. So that's a big one,

849
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 4: which is crazy to me because if I would have

850
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 4: had an abortion, y'all.

851
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: Would have had he say about that too.

852
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: A that even lets you either lets you know they

853
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,399
Speaker 2: don't have kids, yeah, or be there they should they

854
00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 2: they're not involved in their children. I can tell you no,

855
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 2: they're not involved in the children's life, so they have

856
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,760
Speaker 2: no idea. They can't relate to what you're saying because

857
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 2: I immediately related to what you're saying. And I love,

858
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 2: we love our children. But everybody needs a break and

859
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 2: sometimes you're overwhelmed, and I get some d and everyone right,

860
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, Like I literally have been sleep

861
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 2: trying to get Iria while she's doing it out of

862
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 2: sleep in her room literally because I need to have

863
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 2: my bed at some point when I start dating someone

864
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 2: more seriously and I want them to come over, my

865
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,359
Speaker 2: daughter won't be in the fucking room.

866
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 1: Literally, That's why I did it.

867
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that means planning effectively, and also she needs

868
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 2: to be independent sleep in the room. But it's like,

869
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 2: if you can't relate to what you're saying, then either

870
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 2: like you're not involved in your child's life, or you're

871
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: not a parent, or you're in denial. Yeah, and I

872
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 2: think it's fair that every woman doesn't feel the way

873
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 2: that I do. Maybe not you can't relate to every

874
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,879
Speaker 2: single thing. There's something in there every woman can relate

875
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: to at least seventy five percent.

876
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.

877
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 3: And even if they can't, they're lying and secretly they can.

878
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 1: Do you think that do you think the the.

879
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 3: Men saying like let that man go, or like thinking

880
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 3: that the assuming that the man's not present, Do you

881
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 3: think that has anything to do with like, I don't know,

882
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 3: like do you think other cultures, like other cultures experience,

883
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 3: like people making that assumption. I feel like, as a

884
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 3: black woman people it could be just like me being

885
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 3: as like a product of my environment and assuming that

886
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 3: because maybe I'm quite per sensitive about it because I

887
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 3: am a single.

888
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 1: Black mom, But do you think like other like other people,

889
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: it's just as it is.

890
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,400
Speaker 3: It's a thing, like I said, like the dad's not present,

891
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 3: so they assume that.

892
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I wonder if it was a white

893
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: girl doing like.

894
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 3: A Cardi b Mom parody with people as assuming that, oh,

895
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 3: the dad must not be around.

896
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 4: Right, Probably not probably I mean that, but that's kind

897
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 4: of just yeah, that's kind of just what it is.

898
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 4: But it's either an assumption about him not being involved

899
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 4: in that obviously just being my fault.

900
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: God forbid, he wasn't involved, that's my fault, right, you

901
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 1: know what I mean, you're.

902
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 4: Not letting him see the exactly, or just not you

903
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 4: shouldn't have had the kid, or I don't know, just

904
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 4: like really negative things. I mean, I even got a

905
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 4: lot of stuff about just being fat, so but I

906
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 4: felt that coming. But it's like, look for every five

907
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 4: fat comments, like I had like six other weird niggas

908
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 4: trying to.

909
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 1: So like you know what you're asking me? Yeah, weird.

910
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: It was really weird stuff.

911
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:47,719
Speaker 4: I actually had a couple of people reach out to

912
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,720
Speaker 4: me to tell me that they actually wrote that song

913
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 4: that they wanted their credit for it. Yeah, I had,

914
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,760
Speaker 4: like I actually have people like sending me voice recordings

915
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 4: of their raps.

916
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm like just asking me for money. What I was like,

917
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 1: I don't know what impression this video game? Like, can

918
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 1: you like I don't have no donation? Did you not

919
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: get the fact that I'm a single parent.

920
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I'm hell single farthermore, I don't like a

921
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 2: home girl shot.

922
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:19,479
Speaker 1: This for the free, Like it's not what do they say, like, yeah,

923
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh wow that's interesting.

924
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah I'm coming, but yeah, can I have some

925
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: Yeah I.

926
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: Have to do that. It's interesting.

927
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 3: You know what I think the coolest thing about like

928
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 3: right now and our like our era of how that works, but.

929
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 2: Like we we can literally saying that no, actually people

930
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 2: young because Okay, I.

931
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, because like right now in space

932
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 3: and time, like we are actually in a place socially

933
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 3: like maybe like we're the beginning of it, but like

934
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 3: we are making our own life. Yeah, and like who

935
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, Like you're literally blowing up

936
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 3: over something like fun and witty and honest and like

937
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: who knew that there could be laying for like you

938
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,279
Speaker 3: know what I mean. So it's kind of even this

939
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 3: shit like that's always been.

940
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 4: The goal though, right, So like for me, that's always

941
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,240
Speaker 4: been the goal.

942
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:20,760
Speaker 1: Like my blog is she really.

943
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 4: Had a baby, And it's because who I was before

944
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 4: my child is like was that stereotype of not even stereotype,

945
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 4: Like I was a miss like you know what I mean?

946
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 4: And sometimes I still am, and I feel like that's okay,

947
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 4: But it's like when people knew that I was going

948
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 4: to become a mom.

949
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 1: And is like Jessica's about baby like I have. One

950
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: of my homegirls.

951
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:40,799
Speaker 4: Asked me when I was pregnant, like, so, have you

952
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,359
Speaker 4: really been noticed stop drinking.

953
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 2: I'm pregnant, Like yes, Like do you think I was pregnancy?

954
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 2: Like I was, okay, So like I knew that I

955
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 2: was like doing something relatable, like I know there's people

956
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 2: that are like me, like I was saying.

957
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 4: Like it's not every mom, but I don't. I love

958
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 4: my her so much. She's the best thing that's ever happened.

959
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 4: To me like I swear to God. But at the

960
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,839
Speaker 4: same time, like I do not feel like had I

961
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 4: known what I know now, that I still would have

962
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 4: had a child and I and I had to like

963
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 4: work through not being guilt, not feeling guilty about that anymore,

964
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 4: because I still do a damn good job at like

965
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 4: raising her, making sure that she's okay.

966
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 2: But I don't feel like motherhood was my calling. I know,

967
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 2: bitches that love just you have to follow, you have

968
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 2: to figure your face.

969
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just like, oh my god, this is my goal. Yeah,

970
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: like bitches are like knew, like I just want to

971
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: be a mom when I grow up. Like, no, like

972
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 1: this is wild.

973
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,800
Speaker 3: I think more women feel like that than you think.

974
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 3: Sure women are afraid to say it. And I'm not

975
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 3: saying all women are likeness because.

976
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 2: You get like I would never take my back, but yeah,

977
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 2: of course, yeah, there's no way that I could. First

978
00:42:57,719 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 2: of all, there's no way you know what motherhood is

979
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 2: like until you actually do it, Like there's no way

980
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 2: to prepare, there's nothing.

981
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 1: But yeah, like if I knew.

982
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 2: What I do now, like not, I would still I

983
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,280
Speaker 2: would still have one hundred more times.

984
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 1: But I think circumstance, I would be I would have

985
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: been even more scared, horrified, like can im That's why

986
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:18,320
Speaker 1: that's why that's not possible.

987
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:26,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, because if that was the way.

988
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,479
Speaker 1: If we knew the reality, but the themselves. But that's

989
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 1: what's so.

990
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 2: Beautiful about women, though, is because we're strong, we are

991
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 2: built for this.

992
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: We can't do it.

993
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 2: But but sometimes we doubt ourselves because it's it's hard

994
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: and it's difficult.

995
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: Especially doing it, you know, on your own. Here shit

996
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: comes again? Cute.

997
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I saw the funniest meme. It was

998
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 4: like my kids asked me what it was like to

999
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 4: be a mom, so I woke them up at three

1000
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 4: am to tell them that my stock came off.

1001
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: Right my gosh.

1002
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, well getting into It's the most difficult time for

1003
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 4: me for mothering is when I'm like half sleep and

1004
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 4: there's shit going on and I'm like for real, like.

1005
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: I'm literally sleep, like go to sleep, like what is

1006
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: going on?

1007
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 3: You know?

1008
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: How to watch yourself? Yeah, that was.

1009
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 2: That's why I feel like the first year of mothering

1010
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 2: is like a that Ye're like exhausted first like three

1011
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 2: months you need to go to sleep, like why are

1012
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: There's no reason blur. But that's I think that gets

1013
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 2: us into today's topic, which you know, last week I

1014
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 2: posted on social media a video of Iri having a meltdown.

1015
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 2: I saw that, Yeah, and Iri has been having more

1016
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 2: meltdowns over the last two weeks. I've been like noticing

1017
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 2: it more and more.

1018
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1019
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 2: And at first I thought it was because I've been

1020
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 2: at a I work a lot out of YEWN, So

1021
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 2: I was like, maybe it's just maybe I'm going to

1022
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 2: be here more so now I'll be fine. But I've

1023
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: been here and it's still happening, So I think it's

1024
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 2: she's just entering into this phase of terrible whatever.

1025
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: What they call terrible twos, what I really think is

1026
00:44:57,239 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: like terrible three, four, five, Yeah.

1027
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 2: And and I just felt like that day she had

1028
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 2: a meltdown like at least four yeah, back to back

1029
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 2: to back all day, and I felt like.

1030
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: I was handling. I was like, Okay, I got that

1031
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,839
Speaker 1: one under control. We're good. Yeah, I got that one

1032
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: under control, We're good. Yeahs to fucking kill you. Yeah.

1033
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 2: And then the last one, I was at the mall

1034
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 2: and she wanted me to pick her up, and I

1035
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 2: literally I just couldn't.

1036
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: Take it anymore.

1037
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 2: She was just crying and crying. Yes, baby, Yes, she

1038
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 2: was just crying and crying. And then people around started

1039
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 2: looking at us because I wasn't feeding into it. I

1040
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 2: was like, I'm not picking you up, but like when

1041
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 2: you want to stop talking, we can talk, but I'm

1042
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 2: not picking you up. And I was like, you can

1043
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: sit here. There's a chair right here for you to

1044
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 2: sit down. Like it's not like I'm not like I don't,

1045
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 2: I just don't. I can't pick you up. You're too heavy.

1046
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 1: She's like tall.

1047
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,400
Speaker 2: I have a really tall three year old and she's heavy.

1048
00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 2: And so this woman came up to me and was like,

1049
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: does she need water?

1050
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 1: Like water? Yeah?

1051
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 2: She came to me and I was like, does she

1052
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 2: need water? And I was like, no, it's fine in

1053
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 2: the mally.

1054
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: What do you have a water in your back pocket?

1055
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 4: But I was like I need water right, actually, I'll

1056
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 4: take a fucking glass of wine.

1057
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 1: But I could tell that she felt bad for her,

1058
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

1059
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 2: And it was just like and like, I don't know,

1060
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 2: I might have met bread into it, but I felt

1061
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 2: like she was judging me. And they were all I'm

1062
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 2: just looking around, like why isn't she picking her up.

1063
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 2: Why won't you pick her up? Not knowing the day

1064
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 2: that I've had with her? Right, And that's what I like.

1065
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 2: So I went so anyway, I went in the dress

1066
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 2: room to put these clothes on that I had that

1067
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 2: I was there to buy for work, and I just

1068
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 2: like cried and I was like and she sat there

1069
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 2: and watched me in silence and kind of like curled

1070
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 2: up in a ball like yeah, like a wounded animal,

1071
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 2: Like she like she didn't inflict this, yeah, And then

1072
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:54,320
Speaker 2: she was like, why are you crying?

1073
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 1: What's wrong? And I was like, you hurt my feelings.

1074
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm like I've had a really long day with you,

1075
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 1: irie like I'm tired. Why are you treating me? Like yeah,

1076
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 1: straight up?

1077
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 4: And she was just like it's crazy because like I

1078
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 4: saw that you asked like what would you guys do,

1079
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 4: like or like what suggestions you have?

1080
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 2: And to me, like you saying that like that was

1081
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:19,360
Speaker 2: the perfect thing, I mean, being transparent with your children.

1082
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 2: Like I feel like I grew up and I've been

1083
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 2: in a couple of situations with my own mom and

1084
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 2: like seeing her cry, and something I was super harmpressed

1085
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:26,919
Speaker 2: about when I was pregnant is like I'm never gonna

1086
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 2: let my my kids see me cry, and like sometimes

1087
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 2: you just have to break down and be like yo,

1088
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 2: like you're a lot right now, Like they need to

1089
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 2: know you're not superhuman.

1090
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think so. So then after that, she

1091
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 1: came to me.

1092
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 2: And my daughter is also very bad at apologizing, sound

1093
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 2: that too, but she came to me and just like

1094
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:47,879
Speaker 2: kind of pet me.

1095
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: And then looked at me. And then we.

1096
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:53,399
Speaker 2: Got dressed and we came outside. I was still mad

1097
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:55,520
Speaker 2: at her, and she was like trying to kiss me,

1098
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 2: but she walked.

1099
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: She was finally walking. Did not ask to be picked

1100
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: up the whole time after that, because they need to know, like,

1101
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: oh damn, I'm being related.

1102
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 2: She was ridiculous, and even the other day she'd have

1103
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 2: meltdown earlier that day.

1104
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 1: And then I was.

1105
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 2: Putting her to bed and she said, Mommy, tomorrow I'm

1106
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:21,799
Speaker 2: gonna be better. Oh yeah, yeah, it's like talking about you.

1107
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:25,680
Speaker 4: No, it's it's a really good feeling when you when

1108
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 4: you see that like you actually being transparent with your

1109
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 4: children is working though, because like you're teaching them that

1110
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 4: compassion and that empathy, and it takes a lot, like

1111
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 4: you are, this is the most difficult thing about me

1112
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,479
Speaker 4: for as far as being a mom is I'm literally

1113
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 4: responsible for building someone into a person. Like that's some

1114
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 4: ship when you think about, like I have to teach

1115
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 4: you what's wrong, what's right, and like how to also

1116
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 4: process your emotions, and the fact that I feel like

1117
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 4: a lot of us have.

1118
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 1: Probably had children before we've even dealt with a lot

1119
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,320
Speaker 1: of our own ship. It's okay, so I'll have to

1120
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 1: teach you how to be a woman.

1121
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 2: And I like, don't kids kind of like are that mirror?

1122
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,239
Speaker 1: You know, even if you think you got it all.

1123
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 2: Figured out, they'll show you you don't know. But what

1124
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,279
Speaker 2: I will say that was so amazing. After I was

1125
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 2: hesitant to even post Ira having a meltdown because are

1126
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 2: people going to think, like feel bad for her, or

1127
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 2: like think I'm a bitch for posting that my kid

1128
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 2: having this meltdown.

1129
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 1: And then I was hesitant about like I was like

1130
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: when I was crying, I.

1131
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 2: Was like and like, it's this weird that I would

1132
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 2: post a photo of myself in distress. And I thought, no,

1133
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 2: because I know that someone out there can relate, it's

1134
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: going to relate to this exact and maybe I need

1135
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,600
Speaker 2: I need some I need some affirmation or I.

1136
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: Need help because I don't know what to do. I

1137
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 1: really don't know what to be a therapeutic.

1138
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 2: We got so many messages from different women, and I

1139
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 2: felt that it was that moment where I was like wow, Instagram,

1140
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 2: like it can be the devil, but in that moment,

1141
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 2: it was like a healer for me. And I got

1142
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 2: so many messages from so many amazing women like just

1143
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 2: supporting me, telling me like I've gone through this, I

1144
00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 2: know how you feel you have to cry. And what

1145
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:08,759
Speaker 2: I realized through reading all these messages and getting a

1146
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,919
Speaker 2: lot of advice, which we'll talk about, but is that I.

1147
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: Think I do I need to cry more. I'm all

1148
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 1: I do.

1149
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,400
Speaker 2: I try to be strong all the time for in

1150
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,320
Speaker 2: front of for Iri, and I don't want to. I

1151
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 2: don't want her to see me cry. But I think

1152
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,320
Speaker 2: I do, And not that I'm gonna sort of balling

1153
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 2: and shit all day long from but I do think

1154
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 2: that I need to cry more. Absolutely, after I've after that,

1155
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: I felt better. Yeah, yes, baby, Merry Christmas. She's like

1156
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 2: a bitch, are we going to decorate this tree? She

1157
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:41,880
Speaker 2: was specifically about the tree or like we're going to

1158
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 2: decorate the tree. I've been telling we're gonna decorate it

1159
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 2: early two days, right tonight's night. But yeah, so I

1160
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 2: got so many messages from different women with really good

1161
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: advice that I didn't even think about that. I'm like, huh,

1162
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:57,440
Speaker 2: that sounds interesting, or that that might work. And we

1163
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 2: got a lot of messages too from where's my phone.

1164
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 2: I don't even if any responded to the post I

1165
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 2: put to outd but I just wanted I wanted to

1166
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 2: see like what other women like, what are like? First

1167
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,359
Speaker 2: of all, I've asked today what is the worst thing

1168
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,439
Speaker 2: that's like, what's the worst terrible three experience you've ever had?

1169
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 2: Because one of the girls that reached out to me

1170
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 2: told me, like, girl, this is totally normal. The other

1171
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 2: day I was walking down the street outside and there

1172
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 2: were Christmas lights up everywhere on our street and one

1173
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 2: of the houses lights she had them, but they weren't

1174
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 2: turned on.

1175
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: Melt down. Yeah, I was like, out of my control.

1176
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 2: She's mad that the person's houses Christmas lights And you

1177
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 2: would have thought like I was dragging her down the

1178
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:43,800
Speaker 2: street her hair.

1179
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: I was like, what the I'm like, that's crazy.

1180
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:49,400
Speaker 3: But you know what a part of it is, And

1181
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 3: I think we failed to realize because we're stressed out,

1182
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 3: we have other like adult factors contributing to like in fact,

1183
00:51:55,840 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 3: like these little people asking like assholes, is that they're

1184
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 3: just emotionally developed.

1185
00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's literally a psychological thing.

1186
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 3: Like yeah, they are developing their emotional boundaries and they're

1187
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 3: like everything's extreme. So like from like and I thought,

1188
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 3: we're not really we're not like educated enough on that

1189
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,280
Speaker 3: because like I use a lot of different people's slashes,

1190
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 3: a lot of moms because I'm mobile. Yeah, and like

1191
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 3: I do one lady's slashes and she's white, and she's

1192
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 3: like I think she's like an extreme, over the top mom.

1193
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 1: That's because I'm just really relaxed.

1194
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 3: And she like paid thousands of dollars, so like baby

1195
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 3: proved her house.

1196
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 1: I told my friend. I told my ex that, and

1197
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,839
Speaker 1: he's like, you're still like an asshole, and I was like.

1198
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 3: Oh, it's gonna pay thousands of dollars and baby prove

1199
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 3: up fucking out.

1200
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm an asshole, but yeah, I was gonna say.

1201
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,040
Speaker 2: I think that's another one of those things where it's like, okay,

1202
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 2: like if I had thousands of dollars, well I already

1203
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 2: had a baby, and yeah it was fine and baby,

1204
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 2: Yeah that's true.

1205
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: But she she was basically telling me, like there's certain.

1206
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: Things and she's like in the field too, but there's

1207
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:59,120
Speaker 3: like developmental like age, there's an age group for certain

1208
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 3: developed e mental like points that you know, she's so

1209
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 3: aware of that I'm not, you know. And it was

1210
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 3: like about I was asking, like ping in the bead

1211
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 3: and like and like if I if I put a diaper, is.

1212
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 1: It goin to like you know, do this or do that?

1213
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 3: But then like just emotionally, our kids' brains don't develop

1214
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 3: until a certain age, and there's things that psychologically, physically,

1215
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 3: scientifically they're still learning.

1216
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 1: So they can go from like ten to one hundred

1217
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: real quick.

1218
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 3: And it's and the more you're like aware of that,

1219
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:30,000
Speaker 3: it's it's totally out of your control because they're not

1220
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 3: only they really acting psycho they are, it's because they're

1221
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:34,879
Speaker 3: not developed, you know what I mean. So it gives

1222
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 3: you a better perspective to like step back and understand

1223
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 3: that they can't really help it, you know what I mean.

1224
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 1: But if we're not like given the given that.

1225
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 5: Information, yeah, it's gonna be a little bit I mean

1226
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:49,400
Speaker 5: obviously no matter if if you know it or not,

1227
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:51,359
Speaker 5: because I know that, and it's still like I'll kick you.

1228
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,920
Speaker 5: But you know, a part of that is like, you know, researching,

1229
00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 5: knowing and understanding, you know where they're at and their

1230
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 5: development and then their age group.

1231
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 2: And I think it's funny, like even just circling back

1232
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 2: to what Eric was saying, as far as people were

1233
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 2: judging you for not reacting when she was having the meltdown,

1234
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 2: I'm kind of I kind of feel like I get

1235
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 2: in a lot of situations where I get judged because

1236
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 2: I'm I know everyone's parents differently, but I'm super hardcore

1237
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 2: about I don't believe in hitting my kid at all,

1238
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:24,799
Speaker 2: so like, and I know everyone is different with that,

1239
00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:28,279
Speaker 2: but I had such a bad experience being raised being

1240
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 2: hit that like, I just.

1241
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,240
Speaker 1: Believe that my child is capable of.

1242
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 2: Understanding and I want to build a healthy sense of

1243
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:40,439
Speaker 2: communication within her, and my child reacts the same way

1244
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 2: to being put on time out that I see other

1245
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 2: kids react to literally being hit, So like, that's just

1246
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:52,239
Speaker 2: my parenting style. So when Nila is freaking out, I've

1247
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 2: been with people that I feel like have been like

1248
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 2: if you don't smack the shit out of her, and

1249
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 2: I'm just like, yo, like I don't know what that

1250
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:01,760
Speaker 2: would do right.

1251
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 1: Now, right, Like I don't really help, yeah, Like I

1252
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 1: don't know how effective like that would even be in

1253
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 1: this situation. And there have been times I have to

1254
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: catch myself because I just feel like.

1255
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 2: Girl, oh really right now, like stop playing with me.

1256
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 4: But it's I think I don't know if you guys

1257
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 4: are familiar with the five love languages, but there's like

1258
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 4: a book that's specific to the five lovely it's just.

1259
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 1: Of children and for children. Yeah, I read that.

1260
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 4: One, and like paying attention to the things that your

1261
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,240
Speaker 4: child is doing, even within their tantrums, I think teaches

1262
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 4: you a lot about like their personality in general, because

1263
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 4: like it does seem super stupid, like wow, like she's

1264
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 4: melting down because of like lights, but on someone like

1265
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 4: super annoying deep shit, like maybe like that's like her thing,

1266
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,320
Speaker 4: and like you have to look deeper into that. It

1267
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 4: got to the point where while I was reading the book,

1268
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 4: even if she's on her iPad and I'm reading a book,

1269
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 4: like I've seen her like completely light up, just me

1270
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 4: like repositioning her so she's laying on me while we're

1271
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 4: both doing those kinds of things, do.

1272
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

1273
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 4: So just trying to find different ways to be and

1274
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 4: once I started doing stuff like that, I feel like

1275
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 4: her outburst, which could have a lot to do with

1276
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,759
Speaker 4: her just like getting older. Like you said, it's a

1277
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 4: developmental thing, but just really paying attention to who she

1278
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:17,440
Speaker 4: is as a person kind of will start to prevent

1279
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 4: certain things like that, Like what if it's like not

1280
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,440
Speaker 4: even her being picked up, like maybe like if you

1281
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 4: just held her hand, like maybe she just wanted to

1282
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 4: be touched, do you know what I mean? Like, I

1283
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 4: know it sounds stupid, but that could just be her thing.

1284
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 4: And then other times they're just annoying. They're just being

1285
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:35,399
Speaker 4: fucking annoying. No, there's nothing that you can do, but.

1286
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, trust me, girl, I try to try to try everything.

1287
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 1: She was just being annoying. I think maybe maybe she

1288
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 1: was tired. I don't know. We you know, I honestly

1289
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 1: don't know.

1290
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 2: I felt like we had a pretty good day, like

1291
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 2: she was rested, she was fed. Like you know, I'm

1292
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 2: I'm a very affectionate parent. I tell her I love

1293
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 2: her all fucking day long, because every day I look

1294
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 2: at her and I'm like, you're amazing, right, but uh

1295
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,800
Speaker 2: I did. I was getting mad and I was yelling

1296
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 2: at her and because I had like reached my limit, Yes, baby,

1297
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 2: come in, if you're going to come in, I.

1298
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 1: Had like just reached my limit with her.

1299
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,480
Speaker 2: But I got a lot of like people telling me

1300
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 2: you need to get down to her eye level and

1301
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 2: talk to her, like, don't try to talk to her

1302
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 2: from above. It's intimidating. It's it's not you don't feel.

1303
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 2: She doesn't feel like you're equal. And of course, like

1304
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 2: we you know, we're taught I think even like I

1305
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 2: think most people are taught this, but I think a

1306
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 2: lot of even within like the brown and black community,

1307
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 2: is like you are not my equal.

1308
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 1: Yep, you know what I mean. We're not equals because

1309
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 1: I said so you know that. Yeah, when adults are

1310
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 1: children are to be seen, not her. And it's hard

1311
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 1: to come out of that because that's what always been taught.

1312
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: Even like this thinking thing.

1313
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 3: I don't want to think, but sometimes I'm like I

1314
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 3: do because you're trying me.

1315
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 1: But I know you know better and see this is

1316
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 1: how I know to discipline you. Yeah, but see, but

1317
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 1: then it's like, why is.

1318
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 2: She trying you though, what is she trying to get

1319
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,280
Speaker 2: from you? What is the attention? And speaking time I've

1320
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:04,919
Speaker 2: ever wanted to hit my daughter, it has been more

1321
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 2: about my level of emotion than her actual action, because

1322
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 2: she's done the same ship and it was depending on

1323
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 2: what and depending on what mood I was in, depending

1324
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:19,920
Speaker 2: on it didn't trigger you exactly.

1325
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: So like when I started.

1326
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 4: Thinking about it that way, I was like, okay, you know,

1327
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 4: and then it's something her dad is on the same

1328
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 4: page as me about too.

1329
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: I think that.

1330
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:32,560
Speaker 4: We Yeah, I think we both had experiences growing up

1331
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 4: where it was like overly.

1332
00:58:34,840 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 1: Over over, it was over the top.

1333
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 2: It's not and so no, I think that's true. I

1334
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:45,640
Speaker 2: think for me, like I think my mom was, she

1335
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 2: was really patient with me. I only I can remember

1336
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 2: getting spanked only a few times with my mom. I

1337
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 2: only took a few times and I was like, oh, nope,

1338
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 2: I'm not doing that again. But I was a very

1339
00:58:54,560 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 2: mouthy child an adult. But I think just a few tips,

1340
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 2: like the getting down to their level and also not

1341
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,919
Speaker 2: giving into the tantrum too, which which can be hard

1342
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,120
Speaker 2: to because you just want it to stop, so you're like,

1343
00:59:12,120 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 2: what do you want?

1344
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: Just the physical sound of crying is nooying. No, it's like,

1345
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: what do you want? Just let me give you a chance, child.

1346
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 3: I mean sometimes I could like bonk it out, but

1347
00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 3: sometimes it's you're hypersentive to it, especially in public places,

1348
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 3: because you feel everybody else's energy towards you, and then

1349
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 3: you feel like even more hypersensitive about it, more irritable.

1350
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 1: So I looked up.

1351
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 2: I was like, let me look up, like, what are

1352
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,560
Speaker 2: the tifferent tricks online? And because that's like something I've

1353
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 2: never even I google shit all day long, I never

1354
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 2: looked up terrible threes and actually, like what I found

1355
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: was really, I feel like, really helpful. And a few

1356
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 2: of the things on this list were suggestions that I

1357
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 2: got from a lot of a lot of our listeners

1358
00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 2: or followers or whoever saw my story. The first one

1359
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 2: was yell, yell less and love more and it says

1360
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 2: that I guess it said there's been a study showing

1361
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:12,919
Speaker 2: that yelling actually affects a child's brain and you need

1362
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 2: positive parenting for brain development, and that positive parents. They

1363
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 2: studies have shown that positive parenting increases the size of

1364
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:21,320
Speaker 2: your child's brain.

1365
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 1: I am having a heart attack, but do you want

1366
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:26,480
Speaker 1: to know.

1367
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 4: What's also interesting is that that type of stuff if

1368
01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 4: you look at the actual statistics of it, Like I

1369
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 4: was in a psychology class room, we were talking about

1370
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 4: it and just the education and income gap, which obviously

1371
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 4: affects like the minority skill face makes a difference.

1372
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 2: I love it people like wealthier people primarily like Caucasians.

1373
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 2: As much as we like to say like that's some

1374
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 2: white mom shit, like it really has a lot to

1375
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 2: do with like a lack of education, because like you're saying,

1376
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 2: you don't think to look these kinds of things, you

1377
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 2: don't know better. And they don't yell their cues, they

1378
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:05,360
Speaker 2: don't hate. I have homegirls that have like been like, yo, you.

1379
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 1: Your mom used to like yank extension for out the

1380
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 1: wall and get actually like and then you get older,

1381
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 1: Oh that's not normal. That actually is crazy exactly.

1382
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, Yeah, and yelling, I think when you're yelling,

1383
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:23,280
Speaker 2: I'm upset ifying yelling, right, So I don't you feel

1384
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 2: more rouled up afterwards?

1385
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? You My blood pressure gets raised and I don't

1386
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: want to do anything that I do. I feel like

1387
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm apologizing.

1388
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 4: Literally when I was anytime I've ever yelled at my

1389
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 4: daughter like if that might be a negative thing too,

1390
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 4: that I was trying to enforce something and then I'm like,

1391
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 4: come here, Like.

1392
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 2: When I was in that dressing room and I had

1393
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:44,040
Speaker 2: just yelled at her, like my heart was racing, yeah,

1394
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 2: and I felt like I was about to Like I

1395
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:47,320
Speaker 2: felt like I just got in a fight.

1396
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 1: Looking That's how I.

1397
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 3: Think part of the the like the income gap and

1398
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:58,240
Speaker 3: the education levels, which I mean unfortunately correlates with like

1399
01:01:58,280 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 3: ethnicity and minorities.

1400
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 1: Is that the fuck?

1401
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 3: That part about it is like when you're in a

1402
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 3: certain income bracket.

1403
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: Or you're like even more educated about childcare or whatever, you.

1404
01:02:09,160 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 3: Have a lot more patience you do, you have a

1405
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,560
Speaker 3: you have a lot less ship to deal with resources.

1406
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 3: You maybe have more help because you can help, you

1407
01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: can you can buy help.

1408
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 1: You don't.

1409
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:20,440
Speaker 3: You're not worry about bills and if so and so

1410
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:22,480
Speaker 3: is coming home on time, and what we're eating for

1411
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 3: dinner and then I did a meal prep and that

1412
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 3: you know, like maybe don't have to go to work

1413
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 3: at six o'clock.

1414
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 1: I am. So those things all correlate to.

1415
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 3: How you parent, because it's like, not only is it

1416
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 3: our child, but it's our roommate it's our friend, it's

1417
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 3: our it's our kid, it's someone where worth twenty four

1418
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:41,960
Speaker 3: fucking seven for the most part. And so all those

1419
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 3: like life, life burdens and ship when automatically interfere with

1420
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 3: how you parent and you're not you may not have time.

1421
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: To google it. Yeah, and you know you're just gonna

1422
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 1: blame Yeah, you know it's it's Oh, it's beautiful. I

1423
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:57,360
Speaker 1: love it.

1424
01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 2: It's okay one second, but yeah, the yello one really

1425
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:06,120
Speaker 2: affected me because I don't feel like I definitely yell,

1426
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 2: but I don't think I do it often, but I

1427
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 2: know that I don't feel good when I do it,

1428
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 2: and I feel bad or I feel like I lost

1429
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:18,000
Speaker 2: my temper.

1430
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, why did I do that? Anyway?

1431
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So the next the next one was label behavior. Now,

1432
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 2: this was another tip that another parent gave me too.

1433
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:31,919
Speaker 2: She's like, when I when me and my child I read,

1434
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 2: you have to do that over there. Okay, we're recording

1435
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 2: right here, so you can't do that.

1436
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:44,720
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, we'll get that book right there. We'll get

1437
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 1: in one of those books and you can put it

1438
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 1: on top of the book. Very innovative. Look at that,

1439
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 1: Look at that you can draw again. Okay, so I

1440
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:57,120
Speaker 1: think labeling behavior.

1441
01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:59,480
Speaker 2: That's what she was saying, was that, you know, she

1442
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 2: she looks her son in the face and says, this

1443
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 2: is unacceptable behavior, like and talking it through, like using

1444
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:11,240
Speaker 2: big words, not like mommy, mommy doesn't like this, you

1445
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,240
Speaker 2: know what I mean, like saying this is unacceptable.

1446
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:14,240
Speaker 1: You're not gonna get anything.

1447
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:17,080
Speaker 3: You're not gonna get anything accomplished like this. You actually

1448
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 3: like this. It's not going to change anything.

1449
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:20,720
Speaker 1: You use your words, I don't understand, or like, this

1450
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:23,240
Speaker 1: is disrespectful? Do you like? You know what I mean?

1451
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:26,680
Speaker 2: And I was like, I actually started to implement this

1452
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,520
Speaker 2: in the last few days, and I've noticed, I've noticed

1453
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 2: that she reacts to it.

1454
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 1: Now. Is she just not melting down all the time. No,

1455
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 1: But when I get.

1456
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 2: Down to her level and I tell her, thank you,

1457
01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 2: this is disrespectful behavior. Didn't we talk about this? Did

1458
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 2: you say you're not going to didn't we talk about

1459
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 2: not disrespecting your mom? You respect your mother. I listened

1460
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:48,640
Speaker 2: to you. Now you have to listen to me. And

1461
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 2: I think a lot of parents like think that their

1462
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,280
Speaker 2: kids can't fully understand that, but they understand, they understand

1463
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 2: attention you.

1464
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 1: Go through a phase when you have a bit.

1465
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 2: This was a big thing for me, A part of

1466
01:04:57,080 --> 01:05:00,360
Speaker 2: like even just being sad originally having a very small

1467
01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 2: child was not knowing what to say because she was

1468
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:06,920
Speaker 2: a baby, and feeling like, I know, I'm supposed to

1469
01:05:06,960 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 2: be talking to my kid, but what should say? It

1470
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:12,919
Speaker 2: is like not talking back to me, like hey, like awkwardness.

1471
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 2: But now, but now she's old enough where I know

1472
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 2: that she understands what I'm saying. So I let her

1473
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 2: have her her melt down and then it's like, look,

1474
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 2: you're you know that's not okay, right. I asked her

1475
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:31,480
Speaker 2: a lot of questions, like after she's a little bit

1476
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 2: more relaxed, I kind of like try to work through

1477
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:35,600
Speaker 2: it with her, like do you think that.

1478
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 1: That was okay?

1479
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 4: Like do you know how that makes me feel? Do

1480
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:41,720
Speaker 4: you know how that makes you look? How that makes

1481
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:45,240
Speaker 4: us look? Like I'm liable for if Nila has a

1482
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:49,120
Speaker 4: fit like that, cool, Like I'll keep a good distance

1483
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:51,280
Speaker 4: on her, but I'm I'm liable to walk away and

1484
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:53,360
Speaker 4: target over there.

1485
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:54,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've walked away.

1486
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 2: I've kept a good distance, and I feel people looking

1487
01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 2: at me like I'm crazy, Like she's gonna be all right.

1488
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:01,120
Speaker 1: I mean clearly y'all all paying attention, y'a watch her too, right,

1489
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 1: because you care some you know what I mean.

1490
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 4: And like when you put your kid in situations where

1491
01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:09,919
Speaker 4: they have to have their own reality checks, like that's

1492
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,760
Speaker 4: when she snapped out of it, like wait, you're about

1493
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:14,360
Speaker 4: to about to leave and target you.

1494
01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:17,600
Speaker 1: Want to leave me over here? You've I got.

1495
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 4: My wine, I'm out, so you want to sit here

1496
01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 4: and trip out. That's getting exactly exactly about the toy

1497
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 4: that you're not getting. But I do think that our

1498
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:28,880
Speaker 4: children understand and I just do.

1499
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,400
Speaker 2: It takes the patience, and it takes like taking that

1500
01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:38,760
Speaker 2: time to to to sit down and say, hey.

1501
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:40,920
Speaker 1: You don't don't do that, like that's out. We're not

1502
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:41,640
Speaker 1: even like.

1503
01:06:41,640 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 3: These little small conversations just like oh you know what,

1504
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 3: that's that's the one way to look at it.

1505
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 1: Let me try that.

1506
01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 3: Like even like I mean, I guess when you're young

1507
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:52,320
Speaker 3: and you have kids and maybe the only one has

1508
01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:55,120
Speaker 3: kids and maybe nobody really knows what to do, you

1509
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 3: you have these type of conversations lest so you don't

1510
01:06:57,160 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 3: have the suggestions.

1511
01:06:58,040 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 1: And I'm grateful for this unity because we.

1512
01:07:01,360 --> 01:07:03,440
Speaker 2: Could be real with each other like community is everything

1513
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:06,600
Speaker 2: and everything and that and this a little bit of

1514
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:08,200
Speaker 2: advice because I told you a couple of weeks ago,

1515
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 2: I told a story that Luna like remembered that I

1516
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:13,600
Speaker 2: was calling her bad, like you're being bad right now,

1517
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:15,560
Speaker 2: and she's like, I was like, I love you.

1518
01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:17,560
Speaker 3: I think you're so amazing, and she was like you do.

1519
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:20,720
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, why do you not think that?

1520
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:22,840
Speaker 3: Why would you say that? Because she said I was

1521
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 3: bad and that I remember fucked me up and.

1522
01:07:28,760 --> 01:07:31,919
Speaker 1: Take it literally. And since then, I've really been trying

1523
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 1: to be more careful.

1524
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 3: With my language and when I'm saying And I also

1525
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 3: noticed like I'll be here like around her dad, dropping

1526
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:38,800
Speaker 3: her off, picking her up or whatever.

1527
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:41,240
Speaker 1: And he'll like want me to hit you. You better

1528
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:41,920
Speaker 1: stop doing that.

1529
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:44,760
Speaker 3: I just talked about that, like like reacting a certain way,

1530
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:47,200
Speaker 3: and it's easier for me to recognize that poor behavior

1531
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:48,520
Speaker 3: and when.

1532
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 2: I see him doing it, see someone else doing it,

1533
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:53,560
Speaker 2: aside from the point that sometimes I react the same way,

1534
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:56,680
Speaker 2: and so I had to check myself and those things too,

1535
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 2: because it's obviously easier to point the finger, but also like, yeah,

1536
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 2: explain to him and also take the time to be better. Yeah,

1537
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 2: and and and like implement those changes in my and

1538
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 2: my delivery. But also like do you guys, I know

1539
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:13,600
Speaker 2: you will do follow like Derek Grace Tribe, he has

1540
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:14,600
Speaker 2: the tattoos on his face.

1541
01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:16,519
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I love him, I love him, I

1542
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:19,000
Speaker 1: love I want. I keep saying I'm like bye, book,

1543
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,240
Speaker 1: I'm going to the past. But it never happens, never happened,

1544
01:08:21,280 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 1: but you like, please come on the podcast Grace.

1545
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:28,680
Speaker 3: But he he there was like a clip on his

1546
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,839
Speaker 3: Instagram because I'm also about like survivor of the fitness

1547
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:34,240
Speaker 3: and like loading the guns some with it that he was.

1548
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:35,080
Speaker 1: Like saying, like.

1549
01:08:36,640 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 3: How often do we tell our kids like don't talk

1550
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,000
Speaker 3: to adults this way or because I said so? And

1551
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 3: you know, one point he made and I agree, is

1552
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,680
Speaker 3: like don't be, don't give, don't tell your kids that

1553
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 3: they need to be afraid of authority because in any situation,

1554
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:52,960
Speaker 3: any circumstances, at any age in school, when you're not

1555
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,680
Speaker 3: present a fucking relative, they need to be able to

1556
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:56,960
Speaker 3: know I'm not afraid of you.

1557
01:08:57,479 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 1: And if I don't.

1558
01:08:58,040 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 3: Feel right with something, no, don't talk to me that way.

1559
01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 3: Don't do this like you're you're a human and you

1560
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:06,360
Speaker 3: deserve to be respected as though. And it's it's not

1561
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:08,160
Speaker 3: a good I realized it's not a good message, but

1562
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 3: it's is an adult you speak to so, and so

1563
01:09:10,439 --> 01:09:12,479
Speaker 3: you talk to this person, you listen or just because

1564
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,960
Speaker 3: I said so, because they're an adult, because I even,

1565
01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:17,640
Speaker 3: like I said this earlier, like for so long I

1566
01:09:17,680 --> 01:09:21,080
Speaker 3: had jobs, I'd be afraid to call in. I'd be

1567
01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:23,599
Speaker 3: afraid to have conversations with people, and I could feel

1568
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,920
Speaker 3: my body tense up like over like certain conversations with

1569
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:30,840
Speaker 3: people who are human, you know, yet, but we're socialized

1570
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:31,200
Speaker 3: that way.

1571
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:33,360
Speaker 1: Because like you've put them, you've put.

1572
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:36,040
Speaker 3: In our minds, in their minds that there's a hierarchy

1573
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:39,759
Speaker 3: and there's this superiority and and in fact that's not true,

1574
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,240
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, Like if someone's telling you

1575
01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:43,439
Speaker 3: something wrong, it's wrong. And a lot of that comes

1576
01:09:43,439 --> 01:09:47,160
Speaker 3: with just communication and explaining and using those words so

1577
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:48,000
Speaker 3: that you understand.

1578
01:09:48,040 --> 01:09:50,240
Speaker 1: Like you listen to mommy because I'm your mom and

1579
01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:52,719
Speaker 1: I have your best interests in mine. And this doesn't work.

1580
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:53,960
Speaker 1: But not like just in.

1581
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:56,200
Speaker 3: General, or not I hit you or like to fear me,

1582
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:59,280
Speaker 3: because when there's fear instilled in children at a young

1583
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 3: age from authority or from adults.

1584
01:10:01,479 --> 01:10:04,080
Speaker 1: Don't carry that shit into adulthood much like I have.

1585
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:05,760
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, And I've always been a

1586
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:08,880
Speaker 3: very mouthy person, and I'm very like, I know what

1587
01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,680
Speaker 3: I like, I know who I am what I am,

1588
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:13,240
Speaker 3: and like not think many things scare me. But even

1589
01:10:13,479 --> 01:10:16,800
Speaker 3: knowing that in so many corporate situations or drop situations

1590
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:20,439
Speaker 3: or you know, awkward situations, I felt that anxiety. And

1591
01:10:20,479 --> 01:10:22,960
Speaker 3: I don't want to like put that fear in my child,

1592
01:10:23,240 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 3: not with myself and definitely not with other adults because

1593
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:27,000
Speaker 3: it's not real.

1594
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:29,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that that could shift so much into child's

1595
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:30,880
Speaker 1: like and in.

1596
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:32,920
Speaker 3: School, you know, many times I've heard teachers say sh

1597
01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:35,240
Speaker 3: to me that were like racist or like weird or

1598
01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:38,559
Speaker 3: like totally inappropriate, and I was afraid to say anything.

1599
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 2: I know, if you switch fear for respect and you

1600
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:47,960
Speaker 2: switch the thought of my child is not my property, yes,

1601
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:52,920
Speaker 2: you're cutan Once you accept that, I think that you'll

1602
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:55,240
Speaker 2: start to communicate with them the same way that I

1603
01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:58,040
Speaker 2: would communicate with you if you're irritating.

1604
01:10:57,520 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 1: Me right now.

1605
01:10:58,280 --> 01:10:59,640
Speaker 2: And I'm just glad to show you that would be

1606
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:02,240
Speaker 2: an appropate right, or if I was, like if I

1607
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 2: started screaming, that would be inappropriate to do.

1608
01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:05,920
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

1609
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:14,480
Speaker 4: So I want to communicate with my child, with my homegirls, yeah,

1610
01:11:14,520 --> 01:11:16,120
Speaker 4: like I'm not gonna lie. I have friends that I

1611
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 4: feel like they hit their kids, and like my daughter

1612
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:19,120
Speaker 4: used in situations.

1613
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 2: My daughter doesn't hit other kids. That's something she doesn't do.

1614
01:11:22,720 --> 01:11:24,519
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't see it when she's at school, like

1615
01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:25,639
Speaker 2: kids are gonna be kids.

1616
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:29,320
Speaker 1: I know that she has an attitude for sure, but I.

1617
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:31,559
Speaker 4: Think that it not being a huge hitting thing has

1618
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:34,519
Speaker 4: a lot to do with like me not passing that

1619
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:35,880
Speaker 4: that hitting stuff along to her.

1620
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:38,400
Speaker 3: And absolutely because I hit, and I know her dad hits,

1621
01:11:38,439 --> 01:11:41,240
Speaker 3: and I don't hit often because my daughter tries me

1622
01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:43,800
Speaker 3: and I know she's mature and stands and pisces me off.

1623
01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:45,759
Speaker 3: But then I see her hit and I'm like, Okay,

1624
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:47,639
Speaker 3: this is where this is where this is, this is not.

1625
01:11:47,520 --> 01:11:49,639
Speaker 1: But she tries and pisces you off, but she still

1626
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:50,519
Speaker 1: is not meant.

1627
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 2: She understands to a point that she's not supposed to

1628
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:54,920
Speaker 2: be doing something, but.

1629
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,639
Speaker 1: She's still she's still a child.

1630
01:11:56,720 --> 01:12:03,320
Speaker 2: She still doesn't have full like understanding of consequence and

1631
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:06,680
Speaker 2: you're how deeply she's affecting you in that moment, you

1632
01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:09,160
Speaker 2: know what I mean, it's not she doesn't understand.

1633
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:12,240
Speaker 1: That, and so me smacking or hitting or threatening to hit.

1634
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,840
Speaker 2: And that's another thing that was saying is that don't

1635
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:18,240
Speaker 2: have don't the warning ship like And that's what I

1636
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:20,240
Speaker 2: do is I do a lot of warning, Ferry, and

1637
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:20,800
Speaker 2: it's not good.

1638
01:12:21,439 --> 01:12:24,320
Speaker 1: What do you mean no? One? Two three? I think,

1639
01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:28,400
Speaker 1: I think because it loses its power.

1640
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:32,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm not saying like, and that's why we're

1641
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:34,840
Speaker 2: because when you talk about warning, you think automatically, okay,

1642
01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:38,840
Speaker 2: well no warning. Well the opposite of warning is punishment. Yeah,

1643
01:12:38,880 --> 01:12:41,040
Speaker 2: So I think you have to kind of shift that

1644
01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:43,639
Speaker 2: idea and like, or at least I'm trying to. I'm

1645
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:45,439
Speaker 2: trying to because I give her a lot of warnings

1646
01:12:45,880 --> 01:12:47,840
Speaker 2: because I'm like, Okay, you know that this is not

1647
01:12:47,840 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 2: always to do warning, warning, warning, horning.

1648
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:54,400
Speaker 1: Is bad without sticking to what the consequences. But it's

1649
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:55,120
Speaker 1: easy to do.

1650
01:12:55,040 --> 01:12:57,599
Speaker 4: That when you're constantly just trying to like make it

1651
01:12:57,640 --> 01:13:00,400
Speaker 4: through that situation. It's almost like you talk it out

1652
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:03,240
Speaker 4: and saying it is kind of helping you relax, Like yo,

1653
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,400
Speaker 4: A healthy.

1654
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:04,839
Speaker 1: Amount of warnings.

1655
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:07,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, warnings in every situation. I think, I think a

1656
01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:10,559
Speaker 2: culmination of all these things, which is like like it's

1657
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,639
Speaker 2: as yell less, love more, all these things working together,

1658
01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:16,679
Speaker 2: Like you won't have to have as many warnings because

1659
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:19,240
Speaker 2: your kid already knows, Oh, mommy's getting down on my level,

1660
01:13:19,240 --> 01:13:20,240
Speaker 2: we're about to have a talk.

1661
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:23,840
Speaker 1: She knows what's up, Like, oh shit, okay, Like that's

1662
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:27,040
Speaker 1: the warning. It's you know, being consistent, That's what it is.

1663
01:13:27,520 --> 01:13:29,360
Speaker 2: And then so then the next thing on the list

1664
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 2: was actually something you said to me, you know, giving

1665
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:36,720
Speaker 2: giving your child attention and doses, so like when you

1666
01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:38,200
Speaker 2: were saying, like maybe she just wanted to hold your

1667
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:39,880
Speaker 2: hand in the mall, even though that was not the case.

1668
01:13:41,120 --> 01:13:45,760
Speaker 2: But like you know, we live busy lives and you

1669
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:48,280
Speaker 2: know sometimes like you know, our kids are banging remote

1670
01:13:48,280 --> 01:13:51,479
Speaker 2: controls on the table and it's annoying us, and you

1671
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:53,360
Speaker 2: know they want it's because they want our attention. So

1672
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 2: like they were saying, as a tip, like look at

1673
01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:58,720
Speaker 2: your kid and I make icons with them, talk with them,

1674
01:13:58,760 --> 01:14:01,000
Speaker 2: have a conversation with them, and then go on doing.

1675
01:14:01,439 --> 01:14:03,479
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's all they need at least for that moment.

1676
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:05,599
Speaker 2: But doses of attention and I do, and I noticed

1677
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:07,200
Speaker 2: that with Iri. I'll do that with her and she'll

1678
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 2: be satisfied. Like right now, she just came in here.

1679
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:12,040
Speaker 2: We had a little talk. Yeah, now she's like, all right, cool,

1680
01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:14,160
Speaker 2: I'm back. I'm out right, you know. So like giving

1681
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:18,880
Speaker 2: giving those small doses of attention and just and also

1682
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:21,880
Speaker 2: touching your child and like telling them that you love

1683
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:22,719
Speaker 2: them all the time.

1684
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:24,000
Speaker 1: They need that affirmation.

1685
01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:27,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's hard. It's hard to I mean, it's

1686
01:14:27,520 --> 01:14:29,360
Speaker 2: hard to remember all these things, you.

1687
01:14:29,439 --> 01:14:31,519
Speaker 1: Know, it really is. But it's nice. It's important.

1688
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:34,160
Speaker 3: It's nice to know that at any point, doesn't matter

1689
01:14:34,160 --> 01:14:36,639
Speaker 3: if your kid's six or eight in some cases too,

1690
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:38,679
Speaker 3: or you haven't had a baby yet whatever, Like, yeah,

1691
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:40,960
Speaker 3: it's it's satisfying to like sometimes I'm like, fuck, I've

1692
01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:41,400
Speaker 3: supped her.

1693
01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:42,559
Speaker 1: I'm already fucking up.

1694
01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:46,639
Speaker 3: But there's no there's no late time to start implementing.

1695
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:48,680
Speaker 3: There's no late time to start being better and then

1696
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:49,639
Speaker 3: and there's never a.

1697
01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:52,439
Speaker 1: Bad time to have these conversations. But there's no late time.

1698
01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:55,800
Speaker 2: I do think there's there's times that I mean I

1699
01:14:55,840 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 2: think I.

1700
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:58,040
Speaker 4: Don't think so, I don't think something I'm twenty seven

1701
01:14:58,080 --> 01:15:00,960
Speaker 4: and me and my mom are just now I know,

1702
01:15:01,160 --> 01:15:05,520
Speaker 4: Like as far as like damaging me mentally.

1703
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:06,240
Speaker 1: It's done that.

1704
01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:14,200
Speaker 2: Though, Yeah, caring I feel like right now, I think crucial.

1705
01:15:14,360 --> 01:15:15,320
Speaker 1: Yeah right now.

1706
01:15:15,439 --> 01:15:18,800
Speaker 3: But like women who had these conversations because they haven't

1707
01:15:18,840 --> 01:15:21,360
Speaker 3: thought to and now their kid is seven or eight,

1708
01:15:21,439 --> 01:15:23,600
Speaker 3: I don't think it's too late if you want to

1709
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:24,240
Speaker 3: start talking to.

1710
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:26,920
Speaker 1: Your kid better and maybe not hit them. Yeah.

1711
01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:29,880
Speaker 2: No, It's all relative though, because everyone has their their

1712
01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:31,920
Speaker 2: weak spots and their strong spots. For one, I don't

1713
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:33,600
Speaker 2: hit my daughter. I tell my daughter I love her

1714
01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 2: every day, tell how beautiful she is. I give her

1715
01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:36,920
Speaker 2: lots of cases and hugs. She's at the point where

1716
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:38,760
Speaker 2: she like pushs me off, like they stop touching me.

1717
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:40,320
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? Like I don't want

1718
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:42,120
Speaker 2: nothing to do with you. But at the same time,

1719
01:15:42,520 --> 01:15:44,640
Speaker 2: I lack in the I can't get down on the

1720
01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:48,000
Speaker 2: floor and play barbies. I can't, Like it's not I

1721
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:50,720
Speaker 2: don't that's like her dad's thing, Like you know what

1722
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:53,519
Speaker 2: I mean? This nigga can set up toys all around

1723
01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:56,040
Speaker 2: the house and run around in circles like we all

1724
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:58,439
Speaker 2: go to the park, Like get that all out of

1725
01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:01,479
Speaker 2: here the same way people. Other people don't hit their kids,

1726
01:16:01,479 --> 01:16:03,000
Speaker 2: but they never tell them that they love them. Like,

1727
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:05,439
Speaker 2: everyone has their different things that I feel like are

1728
01:16:05,680 --> 01:16:08,200
Speaker 2: No one can be the perfect, fulfilled.

1729
01:16:07,680 --> 01:16:10,160
Speaker 4: All around parent because you have your own internal things

1730
01:16:10,160 --> 01:16:12,719
Speaker 4: that you're dealing with. But I think that the most

1731
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:15,639
Speaker 4: important thing is to be conscious of it. I'm conscious

1732
01:16:15,640 --> 01:16:18,120
Speaker 4: of it, So sometimes i might need a couple of glasses,

1733
01:16:18,120 --> 01:16:18,840
Speaker 4: but I'll get down there.

1734
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:20,480
Speaker 1: I for like twenty minutes, right.

1735
01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:23,880
Speaker 2: I think now, like now that she's entered into this space,

1736
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:26,160
Speaker 2: I'm definitely more conscious of it. It's like I thought

1737
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:27,679
Speaker 2: I had, Like I thought I was in the clear,

1738
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:30,880
Speaker 2: Like I got past the baby part. Like now she's

1739
01:16:30,920 --> 01:16:33,360
Speaker 2: like self sufficient. She can like go get the remote

1740
01:16:33,400 --> 01:16:36,960
Speaker 2: for me, and shit, she loves me unconditionally. Like, but

1741
01:16:37,080 --> 01:16:39,479
Speaker 2: now I've entered into this phase where there's still all

1742
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:42,000
Speaker 2: of that. But then there's a lot of tantrums happening

1743
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:45,480
Speaker 2: where I'm like, oh, this is this is s phase two. Yeah,

1744
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:47,439
Speaker 2: And I'm like, Okay, so how do I deal with

1745
01:16:47,479 --> 01:16:49,720
Speaker 2: phase two? Because Phase one I had no idea what

1746
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 2: the fuck I was doing. Yeah, And now I'm I'm

1747
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:56,559
Speaker 2: better prepared, and I think when I post that video

1748
01:16:56,560 --> 01:16:59,280
Speaker 2: on having people give me tips. I'm like, Okay, that

1749
01:16:59,439 --> 01:17:03,679
Speaker 2: seems like a like a like a positive, level headed

1750
01:17:03,680 --> 01:17:06,240
Speaker 2: thing to do. Maybe, yeah, yelling at her and like

1751
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,599
Speaker 2: screaming at her because it's not making it better, She's

1752
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:11,200
Speaker 2: just crying more. I'm getting more angry because now she's

1753
01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:14,840
Speaker 2: crying more, and now I'm gonna spank her. And it's

1754
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,920
Speaker 2: just like nothing is getting no lesson is being learned here.

1755
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:19,000
Speaker 1: Nothing is getting.

1756
01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:24,320
Speaker 2: Accomplished except spanking, they say, yelling and spanking yelling is

1757
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:27,320
Speaker 2: like it's a very it's a it's a quick fix

1758
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:29,479
Speaker 2: because they'll get their attention for a second, but they're

1759
01:17:29,479 --> 01:17:32,599
Speaker 2: gonna do it again, and there's they're not learning anything

1760
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:33,200
Speaker 2: from it, you know.

1761
01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:35,320
Speaker 1: And don't get me wrong, we're gonna ye, I'm gonna

1762
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:35,880
Speaker 1: yell again.

1763
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:39,559
Speaker 2: I will, I know it, but like it's inevitable. Now

1764
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:42,200
Speaker 2: that I I just feel like I have more like

1765
01:17:42,960 --> 01:17:45,960
Speaker 2: I just have better tools hopefully that I can be using.

1766
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:49,200
Speaker 2: And like also being in tune with your child, like

1767
01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:51,719
Speaker 2: like you said, like with the with the little girl

1768
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,840
Speaker 2: with the Christmas lights, Like what is it like? Why

1769
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:56,360
Speaker 2: is this so like why is this affecting her so much?

1770
01:17:56,400 --> 01:17:59,320
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, like trying to really step outside of

1771
01:17:59,320 --> 01:18:01,880
Speaker 2: your angering annoyance because you're trying to get something done

1772
01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,760
Speaker 2: that moment and she's holding you back from that and

1773
01:18:04,840 --> 01:18:05,800
Speaker 2: really understanding like.

1774
01:18:05,800 --> 01:18:08,000
Speaker 1: Okay, why is this so big of a deal right now?

1775
01:18:08,240 --> 01:18:10,639
Speaker 2: Like for Iri, like she really wants cranberries all the time,

1776
01:18:10,680 --> 01:18:12,280
Speaker 2: she has to have a lot of meltdowns about the

1777
01:18:12,280 --> 01:18:13,040
Speaker 2: specific food.

1778
01:18:13,680 --> 01:18:17,920
Speaker 1: Okay, cramp, she wants to eat them, yes, sweet.

1779
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:21,760
Speaker 2: Even yesterday actually yesterday at the game I was going

1780
01:18:21,760 --> 01:18:23,719
Speaker 2: to my brother's football game. She wanted to wear sandals

1781
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:25,599
Speaker 2: and it's like it was like forty degrees out, yes, yeah,

1782
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,040
Speaker 2: And like I was like, no, you're not gonna wear sandals,

1783
01:18:29,040 --> 01:18:33,000
Speaker 2: and she straight meltdown for like fifteen minutes, and I

1784
01:18:33,080 --> 01:18:35,439
Speaker 2: was just like I'm trying to understand, like, Okay, is

1785
01:18:35,479 --> 01:18:38,599
Speaker 2: this because like I'm interfering with her fashion sense, like

1786
01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:42,040
Speaker 2: I just let her wear I know, like I know

1787
01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:44,640
Speaker 2: not every meltdown is going to be this deep. It's not,

1788
01:18:44,840 --> 01:18:48,200
Speaker 2: but that's something like isn't that deep? And every you

1789
01:18:48,240 --> 01:18:49,200
Speaker 2: just don't know what the fucking talk?

1790
01:18:49,320 --> 01:18:50,240
Speaker 1: But I think some are.

1791
01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:52,360
Speaker 2: And that's like our job as parents is to get

1792
01:18:52,720 --> 01:18:55,720
Speaker 2: like are you tired, yeah, out all day, right, Like

1793
01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:57,960
Speaker 2: you know, you don't have the same stamina as mommy, right,

1794
01:18:58,040 --> 01:19:00,640
Speaker 2: you know, like just because mommy has a schedule, you know,

1795
01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:02,559
Speaker 2: like you're gonna be on my schedule all the time.

1796
01:19:02,560 --> 01:19:05,040
Speaker 2: And I have to understand that too, just because I

1797
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:06,559
Speaker 2: have to get a lot of shit done. I have

1798
01:19:06,600 --> 01:19:08,720
Speaker 2: to be like, you know what, let's go take a

1799
01:19:08,760 --> 01:19:10,439
Speaker 2: break because you need a break.

1800
01:19:10,600 --> 01:19:13,360
Speaker 1: You're four. That's the hardest thing like that balance. It's

1801
01:19:13,439 --> 01:19:15,280
Speaker 1: like because your kid can't always be on your schedule

1802
01:19:15,280 --> 01:19:18,120
Speaker 1: because my schedule sucks. And I'm like I would be like, just.

1803
01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:20,000
Speaker 3: Come to work with me for two clients and then

1804
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:23,280
Speaker 3: me in the car, and it's like she's not she

1805
01:19:23,360 --> 01:19:25,240
Speaker 3: can't do what I do and she's not going to

1806
01:19:25,320 --> 01:19:26,080
Speaker 3: be happy.

1807
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:26,320
Speaker 1: If we do it.

1808
01:19:26,360 --> 01:19:29,679
Speaker 3: And and even me changing my my routine to be

1809
01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:32,920
Speaker 3: you know, to maintain her attitude better. Is is something

1810
01:19:32,960 --> 01:19:34,479
Speaker 3: I have to be more conscious of. I can go

1811
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,240
Speaker 3: all day without eating. I don't need to eat breakfast.

1812
01:19:36,240 --> 01:19:38,439
Speaker 3: This bitch breaks up talking about I'm hungry.

1813
01:19:38,479 --> 01:19:43,040
Speaker 2: I'm my girl over one eye like best I want

1814
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:49,960
Speaker 2: to eat, like you know, the go GURTs are.

1815
01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:50,920
Speaker 1: It takes her forty five minutes eata bowl of cereal.

1816
01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:57,160
Speaker 3: To know my kid eats like a fucking elephant and

1817
01:19:57,960 --> 01:19:59,840
Speaker 3: white eggs like I don't want y'all.

1818
01:20:00,080 --> 01:20:04,000
Speaker 1: I went, what, Yeah, my daughter is a trying sausage.

1819
01:20:04,439 --> 01:20:12,200
Speaker 4: I'm like, you eat way too much. I cannot get

1820
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:17,600
Speaker 4: my kid to eat. I cannot eat. I give her

1821
01:20:17,640 --> 01:20:20,160
Speaker 4: a sandwich with the toss.

1822
01:20:19,960 --> 01:20:23,439
Speaker 1: Of the bread. Ye, my kid literally a sandwich.

1823
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:26,479
Speaker 2: Went in there to check out irin nothing is removed

1824
01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:30,000
Speaker 2: from her plate. I've my child is like a man.

1825
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:32,559
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like, damn, I want to eat this last fight?

1826
01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:33,240
Speaker 1: Am I a bitch?

1827
01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:33,439
Speaker 2: Like?

1828
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:35,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, we have to get separate full meals, like

1829
01:20:36,040 --> 01:20:36,800
Speaker 1: not kid meals.

1830
01:20:37,200 --> 01:20:41,360
Speaker 2: I used to order a nila my daughter her own stuff,

1831
01:20:41,640 --> 01:20:43,000
Speaker 2: and I don't anymore.

1832
01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:46,680
Speaker 4: I'll save many a piece of whatever. You know what

1833
01:20:46,720 --> 01:20:48,760
Speaker 4: I started doing though this This might be something that

1834
01:20:48,840 --> 01:20:53,000
Speaker 4: sounds crazy. People too, nigga dinner will come out for breakfast.

1835
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:56,240
Speaker 4: You're not about to keep wasting food, kid.

1836
01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,479
Speaker 1: You don't want to eat this? Uh this rice?

1837
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:03,360
Speaker 4: Welcome to good morning. It's rice and chicken. Because I

1838
01:21:03,600 --> 01:21:06,840
Speaker 4: can't have her being that piggy, because that drives me crazy.

1839
01:21:07,200 --> 01:21:09,200
Speaker 4: I'm more relaxed about stuff like Okay.

1840
01:21:09,040 --> 01:21:12,559
Speaker 2: Everybody don't like onions and mushrooms, like not specific details,

1841
01:21:12,600 --> 01:21:14,640
Speaker 2: but you're not just about to just be choosing.

1842
01:21:14,640 --> 01:21:15,880
Speaker 1: Because back in the day, it's like, this is what

1843
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:18,680
Speaker 1: we eat, this is what we got, made me set

1844
01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:25,720
Speaker 1: at the table. But my mom's cooking was also yeah,

1845
01:21:25,800 --> 01:21:28,320
Speaker 1: she just like sliced potatoes and put American cheese over.

1846
01:21:31,320 --> 01:21:36,439
Speaker 1: I made no yeah, literal requests. Fried rice in the morning,

1847
01:21:36,520 --> 01:21:39,360
Speaker 1: shrim fried rice early morning. I'm like, good, we had

1848
01:21:39,439 --> 01:21:44,439
Speaker 1: last night, right exactly. That's so. But I think we're

1849
01:21:44,439 --> 01:21:48,080
Speaker 1: gonna saying no, I'm not telling you. I'm gonna say,

1850
01:21:48,120 --> 01:21:52,920
Speaker 1: mommy is fucking hard. I have more tips, Okay, we

1851
01:21:53,040 --> 01:21:55,120
Speaker 1: need we need them all.

1852
01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:57,439
Speaker 2: Which I think I always say I'm gonna do, but

1853
01:21:57,479 --> 01:22:01,759
Speaker 2: I need to do is positive reinforcement like sticker, sticker,

1854
01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:05,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I have one one, like to create

1855
01:22:05,520 --> 01:22:07,639
Speaker 2: a chart, and like you get a stick it makes

1856
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:09,719
Speaker 2: them exciting, like, oh my god, we get a sticker.

1857
01:22:09,760 --> 01:22:11,280
Speaker 2: I did something good, stick or sticker, and then oh,

1858
01:22:11,320 --> 01:22:12,760
Speaker 2: if you did something bad, we're taking that stick for

1859
01:22:12,800 --> 01:22:15,280
Speaker 2: a way, like oh shit, I gotta keep stickers.

1860
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:17,559
Speaker 1: Up, you know that. And like even like her school,

1861
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:19,479
Speaker 1: like they'll give her ire comes home with tickets, so

1862
01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:21,559
Speaker 1: she'll have like tickets and she's like, I got a ticket,

1863
01:22:21,640 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 1: and is she in school school she's in prety school.

1864
01:22:24,040 --> 01:22:27,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, and she'll be like her teacher was like,

1865
01:22:27,000 --> 01:22:28,920
Speaker 2: you should take these tickets home and put them in

1866
01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:31,080
Speaker 2: a jar and then you know, use them. Like when

1867
01:22:31,120 --> 01:22:32,960
Speaker 2: she does something good, she can take it, make it

1868
01:22:33,080 --> 01:22:35,479
Speaker 2: reinforce that the home. Yeah, and like I haven't done

1869
01:22:35,520 --> 01:22:37,600
Speaker 2: it and I should, and like she's like with the

1870
01:22:37,640 --> 01:22:40,439
Speaker 2: fun of these tickets for that or even like floor.

1871
01:22:40,240 --> 01:22:42,439
Speaker 1: Has Eminem's in there, but I don't. I'm not reinforcing her.

1872
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah one one Eminem, but yeah, just positive reinforcement in

1873
01:22:48,400 --> 01:22:50,400
Speaker 2: that way. That's something that I also, I think, I'm

1874
01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:52,760
Speaker 2: I'm down for anything at this point, Like I can't

1875
01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:54,519
Speaker 2: this space, Like we're gonna we'll have to nip this

1876
01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:56,479
Speaker 2: shit in the but real quick, try or try at

1877
01:22:56,560 --> 01:22:59,000
Speaker 2: least to get it in check. I know that's wishful thinking,

1878
01:22:59,520 --> 01:23:02,880
Speaker 2: but it's just gonna transcend into like the next level

1879
01:23:02,920 --> 01:23:05,760
Speaker 2: of bullshit because I feel like my daughter is less

1880
01:23:05,880 --> 01:23:09,800
Speaker 2: tantrum me now, but it's more like I said, I

1881
01:23:10,000 --> 01:23:11,320
Speaker 2: was watching my iPad.

1882
01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:13,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, looks like that that nousie.

1883
01:23:14,280 --> 01:23:19,080
Speaker 4: I don't have to stop like okay, well I said,

1884
01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:22,439
Speaker 4: and it's that threatening stuff without following up with.

1885
01:23:22,479 --> 01:23:24,960
Speaker 1: It, because that's like really big with the with the tablet.

1886
01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:27,000
Speaker 4: For me, I'd be like, you're not gonna watch a

1887
01:23:27,040 --> 01:23:29,640
Speaker 4: tablet And I feel like I was saying that so much,

1888
01:23:29,720 --> 01:23:30,760
Speaker 4: and she woul still always be on.

1889
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,760
Speaker 1: The tablet that the only way to catch up on

1890
01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:36,640
Speaker 1: it was like that's I unplugged the TV and to

1891
01:23:36,760 --> 01:23:39,080
Speaker 1: the tablet and we both struggle.

1892
01:23:40,439 --> 01:23:42,560
Speaker 4: Because, you know, because it's a miserable experience when you

1893
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:44,599
Speaker 4: can't let when you're not letting your chalk, because it's

1894
01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:48,519
Speaker 4: the only way I get peace of mind, right, you know.

1895
01:23:48,800 --> 01:23:52,880
Speaker 1: But it also forced me to be more present with her.

1896
01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:55,960
Speaker 2: She made fun of me one day because when I

1897
01:23:56,040 --> 01:23:58,280
Speaker 2: was freelancing, I was just doing freelance writing before I

1898
01:23:58,320 --> 01:24:01,599
Speaker 2: decided to get a real paycheck, and she would make

1899
01:24:01,640 --> 01:24:03,160
Speaker 2: fun of me because the way that I would be

1900
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:03,759
Speaker 2: on my computer.

1901
01:24:04,040 --> 01:24:07,760
Speaker 1: And you realize you can't tell your child something if

1902
01:24:07,800 --> 01:24:08,800
Speaker 1: you're doing it too right.

1903
01:24:08,920 --> 01:24:11,479
Speaker 4: I can't be like you, you're not gonna eat and

1904
01:24:11,640 --> 01:24:14,080
Speaker 4: watch the iPad if I'm standing in front of the watch.

1905
01:24:14,560 --> 01:24:16,400
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean stuff like that. I'll

1906
01:24:16,439 --> 01:24:18,280
Speaker 1: turn around and she'll pretend to be on the computer

1907
01:24:18,520 --> 01:24:22,719
Speaker 1: like I have mommy and notither go watch TV's making

1908
01:24:22,760 --> 01:24:23,840
Speaker 1: fun of me and stuff like that.

1909
01:24:24,360 --> 01:24:26,439
Speaker 4: But taking it away from her actually helps, Like you

1910
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:29,400
Speaker 4: have to actually reinforce it, whether it's positive or negative

1911
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:30,960
Speaker 4: or else.

1912
01:24:30,960 --> 01:24:33,000
Speaker 1: They're not going to believe it. It's not consistent, you.

1913
01:24:33,080 --> 01:24:41,519
Speaker 2: Know, absolutely no, Yeah, yes, very Also I think in

1914
01:24:41,640 --> 01:24:46,120
Speaker 2: conclusion of this is a it's gonna happen again, right,

1915
01:24:46,800 --> 01:24:50,120
Speaker 2: so you can keep you know, And also taking time

1916
01:24:50,200 --> 01:24:53,000
Speaker 2: for yourself because I think, you know, we need.

1917
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:54,599
Speaker 3: A break and it gets you, It gets you more

1918
01:24:54,640 --> 01:24:57,680
Speaker 3: patience to deal with the function that they will put

1919
01:24:57,720 --> 01:24:59,960
Speaker 3: you through. Yeah, when you have taken time for yourself,

1920
01:25:00,439 --> 01:25:03,679
Speaker 3: when you haven't given yourself anything, and then they're wearing

1921
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:05,479
Speaker 3: the funk out of your nerves, you're going to be

1922
01:25:05,760 --> 01:25:08,320
Speaker 3: more easily irritable and easier to snap.

1923
01:25:08,520 --> 01:25:10,840
Speaker 6: When you've given you know, if I've had a good

1924
01:25:10,880 --> 01:25:19,799
Speaker 6: bass one and some yeah, Barbie, I'm like baby mama,

1925
01:25:21,920 --> 01:25:25,000
Speaker 6: and I have lots of time to give you. And

1926
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:27,320
Speaker 6: I'm and I'm and I'm well rested, and I'm dick

1927
01:25:27,439 --> 01:25:31,360
Speaker 6: down and I'm happy, and so I can be a

1928
01:25:31,439 --> 01:25:33,639
Speaker 6: better parent village.

1929
01:25:33,840 --> 01:25:37,680
Speaker 1: Wait wait wait no, no, no, no, no no no,

1930
01:25:38,200 --> 01:25:41,599
Speaker 1: why real hell are you going to say?

1931
01:25:41,800 --> 01:25:41,960
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1932
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:43,559
Speaker 1: I know you know what I'm gonna say. I want

1933
01:25:43,600 --> 01:25:47,519
Speaker 1: to know if she goes, are you really gonna like live? No?

1934
01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:52,240
Speaker 1: We can avoid it for why bringing it back? Okay,

1935
01:25:52,280 --> 01:25:54,040
Speaker 1: well we can talk about you bringing it back. That's fine.

1936
01:25:54,080 --> 01:26:01,040
Speaker 1: I want to know how go ahead? Finish your sentence?

1937
01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:08,200
Speaker 1: La failed the talks? Oh wow, what was it? What

1938
01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:08,479
Speaker 1: was it?

1939
01:26:08,600 --> 01:26:09,519
Speaker 3: Like this?

1940
01:26:10,800 --> 01:26:13,280
Speaker 1: But I suppose how far you guys were in two weeks?

1941
01:26:13,400 --> 01:26:15,760
Speaker 1: Oh two weeks? Well put on the end.

1942
01:26:16,200 --> 01:26:21,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm in a second make up Abruary, right, so

1943
01:26:23,120 --> 01:26:25,320
Speaker 2: just so you guys know, I'm still on it.

1944
01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:28,160
Speaker 1: Okay, Jamila is rekindling it apparently, you know what? You

1945
01:26:28,240 --> 01:26:29,920
Speaker 1: know what? Let me say I have something to say say.

1946
01:26:31,040 --> 01:26:35,800
Speaker 3: I've never discussed this previously on the podcast, but more

1947
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:41,760
Speaker 3: so prior to Luna, I've I felt like I had

1948
01:26:41,920 --> 01:26:45,760
Speaker 3: like low key sex addiction. Okay, and it was like

1949
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:50,479
Speaker 3: I've we discussed this briefly, but like that, it was

1950
01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:52,560
Speaker 3: low key my like escapism.

1951
01:26:52,840 --> 01:26:57,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry about to pull out receipts or something.

1952
01:26:58,320 --> 01:27:02,360
Speaker 1: I'm like one of my like one of my Yeah.

1953
01:27:02,479 --> 01:27:05,760
Speaker 3: My escapisms like some people's food, some people it's yeah,

1954
01:27:06,520 --> 01:27:09,320
Speaker 3: I don't know other better things. But my aunt's always mine.

1955
01:27:09,640 --> 01:27:13,200
Speaker 3: Mine has been alcohol and dick and it's not good.

1956
01:27:13,439 --> 01:27:16,760
Speaker 3: And if my drink dick comes, it's like it's like

1957
01:27:16,840 --> 01:27:19,840
Speaker 3: a downfall. It's like a trickle effect. And I'm not

1958
01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:22,040
Speaker 3: using this as an excuse because I was doing good.

1959
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:25,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I don't know what I thought. You

1960
01:27:25,160 --> 01:27:27,519
Speaker 1: were got stressed and you need Yeah, I got I

1961
01:27:27,560 --> 01:27:30,000
Speaker 1: got stressed. I was moving this week. I was like,

1962
01:27:30,160 --> 01:27:33,400
Speaker 1: this is my last time companionship too. It's okay, So

1963
01:27:34,240 --> 01:27:35,679
Speaker 1: we can talk about this in a different topic.

1964
01:27:35,760 --> 01:27:38,200
Speaker 3: But like, this is one thing that when I first

1965
01:27:38,240 --> 01:27:41,000
Speaker 3: moved back to l A like seven six, seven years ago,

1966
01:27:42,120 --> 01:27:43,360
Speaker 3: I was deeply I had.

1967
01:27:43,240 --> 01:27:44,280
Speaker 1: A couple of things happened to me. I was like,

1968
01:27:44,280 --> 01:27:47,360
Speaker 1: oh my god, I have a problem. Yeah, and I

1969
01:27:47,479 --> 01:27:47,960
Speaker 1: went to it.

1970
01:27:48,320 --> 01:27:52,200
Speaker 3: I went to like a Sex and Love Anonymous meeting,

1971
01:27:52,520 --> 01:27:55,880
Speaker 3: and what I thought was interesting was it's called sex

1972
01:27:55,960 --> 01:27:58,920
Speaker 3: and Love Anonymous, So it's s L A a sex

1973
01:27:59,040 --> 01:28:02,200
Speaker 3: oh addison not so it's SLA and they don't come apart.

1974
01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:07,799
Speaker 3: It's always sex and love addiction. So it's because probably

1975
01:28:07,920 --> 01:28:10,439
Speaker 3: there's not one without the other. Probably, if you want

1976
01:28:10,479 --> 01:28:12,400
Speaker 3: to like sex a lot, it's because you're looking for

1977
01:28:12,479 --> 01:28:15,200
Speaker 3: companionship and love. And I'm not like an addict lover.

1978
01:28:15,360 --> 01:28:18,599
Speaker 3: My friends would say differently, but like I don't get attached.

1979
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:22,400
Speaker 1: I could be. I could be very detached. Anyway, back

1980
01:28:22,439 --> 01:28:25,040
Speaker 1: to the point, I fucked up. Okay, back to the

1981
01:28:25,080 --> 01:28:28,160
Speaker 1: point with my excuses. I did fuck us. I'm so

1982
01:28:28,200 --> 01:28:33,320
Speaker 1: if anyone else fucked up, you can. It's okay. You

1983
01:28:33,360 --> 01:28:36,080
Speaker 1: don't have to keep lying on the GRAM, y'all. No,

1984
01:28:36,360 --> 01:28:39,840
Speaker 1: I didn't lie. No, no, no, I'm not. I'mstn't talking

1985
01:28:39,840 --> 01:28:41,680
Speaker 1: about you, and I don't. I'm justn't trying to out

1986
01:28:41,720 --> 01:28:43,800
Speaker 1: you like that. I just I just feel like this

1987
01:28:43,920 --> 01:28:47,400
Speaker 1: is real, like you know, and like you know, I

1988
01:28:47,960 --> 01:28:48,120
Speaker 1: you know.

1989
01:28:48,520 --> 01:28:51,479
Speaker 2: I felt tempted to be like, you know, fuck it,

1990
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:53,840
Speaker 2: I'm it's over. But then I almost did, because that

1991
01:28:53,920 --> 01:28:54,639
Speaker 2: day I text.

1992
01:28:54,520 --> 01:28:57,240
Speaker 1: My my Bay and I was like, he talked sober

1993
01:28:58,120 --> 01:28:59,599
Speaker 1: and he was like for real. And then the next

1994
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:03,120
Speaker 1: morning I was like, actually, okay, all this Erica.

1995
01:29:04,360 --> 01:29:06,200
Speaker 3: Everybody I told that that bead we had to meet

1996
01:29:06,280 --> 01:29:08,559
Speaker 3: up on Wednesday. Shout out to everybody who came through

1997
01:29:08,800 --> 01:29:10,880
Speaker 3: thank you. I got way too drunk. I had way

1998
01:29:10,880 --> 01:29:15,439
Speaker 3: too much fun. But drinks to that, drinks to that,

1999
01:29:15,520 --> 01:29:16,360
Speaker 3: you gotta come next time.

2000
01:29:16,439 --> 01:29:19,840
Speaker 1: But I know Wednesdays, I'm more of a weekend girl.

2001
01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:21,920
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, we knew that we gotta do a

2002
01:29:21,960 --> 01:29:24,599
Speaker 3: weekend one. Definitely weekend we got definitely need more without

2003
01:29:24,600 --> 01:29:27,639
Speaker 3: the kids. But I wasn't not going to tell Erica.

2004
01:29:27,640 --> 01:29:29,360
Speaker 3: I was taking a couple of days to tell her

2005
01:29:29,520 --> 01:29:32,320
Speaker 3: because I know she's gonna be mad. I'm like, I

2006
01:29:32,439 --> 01:29:34,120
Speaker 3: told my friend, like, how the fun? When was this

2007
01:29:34,240 --> 01:29:36,559
Speaker 3: the night that you slept up night before?

2008
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:38,880
Speaker 1: Oh wow? Because I was at least you could have passed,

2009
01:29:38,920 --> 01:29:41,720
Speaker 1: because like I was like, yeah, iked up. But I

2010
01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:43,800
Speaker 1: was like, I told my friend, like, Erica actually is

2011
01:29:43,920 --> 01:29:49,240
Speaker 1: seeing someone, so like I have no ex well, I

2012
01:29:49,320 --> 01:29:51,200
Speaker 1: mean for me, like okay, So like that.

2013
01:29:51,640 --> 01:29:54,840
Speaker 2: That next day afterwards, I was like, am I going

2014
01:29:54,880 --> 01:29:56,639
Speaker 2: to keep doing this? And I was like, well, I mean, yeah,

2015
01:29:56,680 --> 01:29:58,360
Speaker 2: we did it together, but really, I mean I'm doing

2016
01:29:58,360 --> 01:29:59,000
Speaker 2: this for myself.

2017
01:29:59,520 --> 01:30:01,840
Speaker 1: So I saw Instagram that you guys were doing it,

2018
01:30:02,200 --> 01:30:04,760
Speaker 1: like the content behind like why what was the was?

2019
01:30:04,960 --> 01:30:07,200
Speaker 2: It was just like we as women, I feel like

2020
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:11,719
Speaker 2: prioritize men, so much, we'll like change our rearrange our schedule.

2021
01:30:11,920 --> 01:30:16,320
Speaker 1: I saw a guy suddenly like them, I love them, You'll.

2022
01:30:16,640 --> 01:30:19,439
Speaker 2: You'll rearrange schedule to like get some D or to

2023
01:30:19,479 --> 01:30:21,519
Speaker 2: spend time with a D and they don't do that,

2024
01:30:21,760 --> 01:30:23,600
Speaker 2: and I'll all at all and it's like where's this

2025
01:30:23,720 --> 01:30:25,360
Speaker 2: million dollars that I need? First?

2026
01:30:25,479 --> 01:30:27,160
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to I don't want to be committed,

2027
01:30:27,160 --> 01:30:28,640
Speaker 1: and I just feel like I just felt like a

2028
01:30:28,720 --> 01:30:29,200
Speaker 1: slave to it.

2029
01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:31,240
Speaker 2: And I feel like also like it was like it

2030
01:30:31,400 --> 01:30:33,800
Speaker 2: was just it was just confusing me, like between me

2031
01:30:33,840 --> 01:30:35,520
Speaker 2: and this guy that I'm seeing.

2032
01:30:35,400 --> 01:30:36,880
Speaker 1: And I was like do I really like you?

2033
01:30:37,680 --> 01:30:40,240
Speaker 2: And like also we have a lot going on, and

2034
01:30:40,360 --> 01:30:42,240
Speaker 2: I just felt like I just need a break. And

2035
01:30:42,320 --> 01:30:44,760
Speaker 2: also I feel like once I'm done with this, I'm

2036
01:30:44,760 --> 01:30:47,080
Speaker 2: going to be very selective select about who I share

2037
01:30:47,080 --> 01:30:49,160
Speaker 2: myself with because I'm like, damn, I want all this time,

2038
01:30:49,320 --> 01:30:50,680
Speaker 2: Like I want to make sure like I A'm just

2039
01:30:50,720 --> 01:30:51,000
Speaker 2: giving it.

2040
01:30:51,520 --> 01:30:55,120
Speaker 3: Like that has been my biggest indicator because every even

2041
01:30:55,120 --> 01:30:58,559
Speaker 3: though I fox up, I'm like, bitch, do.

2042
01:30:58,640 --> 01:31:00,160
Speaker 1: I need to up? Was that person was.

2043
01:31:01,920 --> 01:31:04,240
Speaker 3: And it was like but you're old now, Like I

2044
01:31:04,280 --> 01:31:07,080
Speaker 3: can have a lot of detached and granted I've had

2045
01:31:07,160 --> 01:31:10,040
Speaker 3: a lot of detached sack not I like myself, but

2046
01:31:10,600 --> 01:31:11,160
Speaker 3: I don't.

2047
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:17,719
Speaker 4: Like detached checks when I can do the detached text

2048
01:31:17,760 --> 01:31:20,479
Speaker 4: as well. My issue is with a lot of men,

2049
01:31:20,760 --> 01:31:23,439
Speaker 4: I feel like, if that's what it is, just let

2050
01:31:23,479 --> 01:31:25,840
Speaker 4: it be known that that's what it is. When it's

2051
01:31:25,920 --> 01:31:28,439
Speaker 4: like confusing, Like the guy that I recently was talking to,

2052
01:31:29,080 --> 01:31:33,439
Speaker 4: that's about four days, it really did.

2053
01:31:33,600 --> 01:31:35,519
Speaker 1: That's usually because I usually don't have my daughter for

2054
01:31:35,600 --> 01:31:39,479
Speaker 1: about three so I met him, and you know, sometimes

2055
01:31:39,479 --> 01:31:41,800
Speaker 1: I wonder if like, is it a real thing to

2056
01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:45,960
Speaker 1: like have sex with someone like too quickly? Do you like,

2057
01:31:46,000 --> 01:31:49,080
Speaker 1: do you think that's really It just depends because I

2058
01:31:49,080 --> 01:31:54,000
Speaker 1: would be meeting them and giving it, not just me.

2059
01:31:54,840 --> 01:31:56,960
Speaker 1: I meet him and then we're like, I like, yo,

2060
01:31:57,240 --> 01:31:59,880
Speaker 1: you're cool. The last guy I met him cool came

2061
01:32:00,040 --> 01:32:02,040
Speaker 1: at the house. I'm my daughter. He's at my apartment

2062
01:32:02,080 --> 01:32:05,479
Speaker 1: for like I'm not even domesticated, Like it was so good.

2063
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:08,840
Speaker 1: I'm cooking breakfast. I live in a studio, bitch, I

2064
01:32:08,880 --> 01:32:10,679
Speaker 1: cook out of a crop pot. I had a full

2065
01:32:10,760 --> 01:32:16,439
Speaker 1: course meal. It was good, and I'm like, this is cool,

2066
01:32:16,600 --> 01:32:19,840
Speaker 1: you know, And he's asking questions like who have you

2067
01:32:19,960 --> 01:32:24,160
Speaker 1: messed with that. I know, I'm thinking like, okay, right, Like, man.

2068
01:32:24,120 --> 01:32:26,400
Speaker 4: My whole thing is like if we're having these conversations

2069
01:32:26,479 --> 01:32:30,200
Speaker 4: like okay, so you are a little bit more like

2070
01:32:30,320 --> 01:32:31,679
Speaker 4: not necessarily that we know each other.

2071
01:32:31,600 --> 01:32:35,760
Speaker 1: Well enough, but like where you're on track to girl, it.

2072
01:32:35,760 --> 01:32:40,000
Speaker 4: Didn't take about four days for him to just switch

2073
01:32:40,120 --> 01:32:42,280
Speaker 4: up and no responding to certain stuff.

2074
01:32:42,280 --> 01:32:43,760
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, yo, you're the one that I.

2075
01:32:43,760 --> 01:32:46,599
Speaker 2: Would have literally called you in thirty days. I would

2076
01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:50,320
Speaker 2: have I would give you my number. Are you saying

2077
01:32:50,360 --> 01:32:52,559
Speaker 2: that now you regret giving yourself to this person?

2078
01:32:52,920 --> 01:32:55,519
Speaker 1: I do. I do because I feel like I regret

2079
01:32:55,600 --> 01:32:58,400
Speaker 1: the way that I gave you said.

2080
01:32:58,880 --> 01:33:01,560
Speaker 2: That's another thing though, because like I do think like you,

2081
01:33:01,920 --> 01:33:04,880
Speaker 2: you start to see like I think anybody like after

2082
01:33:04,960 --> 01:33:08,759
Speaker 2: you give someone a few months, thirty days, two months,

2083
01:33:08,960 --> 01:33:12,120
Speaker 2: that's a lot. And and mostly I mean, I'm not

2084
01:33:12,760 --> 01:33:15,240
Speaker 2: dating someone, I'm not not gonna obsess them for too month.

2085
01:33:16,000 --> 01:33:18,519
Speaker 3: But when you don't do that, though, you really you

2086
01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:21,160
Speaker 3: realize I don't really like you like that or what

2087
01:33:21,320 --> 01:33:21,960
Speaker 3: you really want.

2088
01:33:22,280 --> 01:33:24,680
Speaker 1: And I think as women, we fuck. And Okay, I

2089
01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:25,880
Speaker 1: don't think there's like this rule book.

2090
01:33:25,880 --> 01:33:27,639
Speaker 3: It's I gotta be like ninety days Steve Harvey because

2091
01:33:27,640 --> 01:33:29,400
Speaker 3: I hate him, but like I don't think.

2092
01:33:29,280 --> 01:33:31,080
Speaker 1: It needs to be. I don't hate him, but you know,

2093
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:34,320
Speaker 1: I mean, men don't have no business own woman issues.

2094
01:33:34,640 --> 01:33:37,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, like period, don't write no book about me, nigga.

2095
01:33:37,200 --> 01:33:39,760
Speaker 3: Yeah we've had two wives, but like I don't, so

2096
01:33:39,840 --> 01:33:42,240
Speaker 3: I don't put rules like that. But I think that

2097
01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:44,639
Speaker 3: as women as much as like I can be detached

2098
01:33:44,680 --> 01:33:47,000
Speaker 3: and I could be very niggish and very manly, like

2099
01:33:47,040 --> 01:33:48,799
Speaker 3: a manish as fuck, and I don't.

2100
01:33:48,640 --> 01:33:51,400
Speaker 1: Have to care. But like, men do this thing when

2101
01:33:51,439 --> 01:33:53,720
Speaker 1: they think that, like if I say this or do that,

2102
01:33:53,840 --> 01:33:55,360
Speaker 1: like she's gonna, I think we all do.

2103
01:33:55,400 --> 01:33:59,960
Speaker 3: It's a manipulation tactic. But like you inevitably were hume.

2104
01:34:00,280 --> 01:34:02,800
Speaker 3: So you open yourself up to someone literally because we

2105
01:34:02,880 --> 01:34:07,200
Speaker 3: have a vaginas, and then there's there's possibilities that seep in,

2106
01:34:07,280 --> 01:34:09,600
Speaker 3: and then you say certain things and we internalize it

2107
01:34:09,640 --> 01:34:11,800
Speaker 3: certain ways, and we interpret it certain ways, and.

2108
01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:13,559
Speaker 1: So we can't help it feel a certain way.

2109
01:34:13,680 --> 01:34:15,800
Speaker 3: And then when you start chip switching up your shit,

2110
01:34:16,360 --> 01:34:20,040
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I'm so dumb, eh, And now my

2111
01:34:20,120 --> 01:34:22,160
Speaker 3: mind's all fucked up because I thought this and I

2112
01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:24,439
Speaker 3: thought that and I thought we were cool and you're not.

2113
01:34:24,600 --> 01:34:26,519
Speaker 3: And I could have kept it in this lane, but

2114
01:34:26,640 --> 01:34:28,920
Speaker 3: you've presented it a different way, and so my mind has,

2115
01:34:29,160 --> 01:34:31,200
Speaker 3: like my feelings, I'm started going this way, and that's

2116
01:34:31,280 --> 01:34:34,000
Speaker 3: what fucked me up. And that's the problem. And I

2117
01:34:34,080 --> 01:34:36,160
Speaker 3: think the whole thing with having sex in general, when

2118
01:34:36,160 --> 01:34:39,720
Speaker 3: you mix sex into the mix. That's what happened inevitably

2119
01:34:39,960 --> 01:34:41,799
Speaker 3: when you said the thing about switching up the schedule.

2120
01:34:41,920 --> 01:34:43,760
Speaker 3: That's why I was like mind blowing, because like I

2121
01:34:43,840 --> 01:34:45,600
Speaker 3: knew this thing for like a week, and he was like,

2122
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:46,839
Speaker 3: I want to see you on a Tuesday.

2123
01:34:46,880 --> 01:34:48,879
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I hell have my daughter on Tuesday.

2124
01:34:49,160 --> 01:34:50,720
Speaker 4: But I was like, let me just go drop off

2125
01:34:50,760 --> 01:34:52,920
Speaker 4: with this little thing like pay my little hourly rate,

2126
01:34:53,240 --> 01:34:54,080
Speaker 4: let us stay over there.

2127
01:34:54,200 --> 01:34:56,240
Speaker 1: Did you want to come over here? Make sure that

2128
01:34:56,320 --> 01:34:59,360
Speaker 1: there's drinks and stuff, just like overnight you's been doing it.

2129
01:34:59,439 --> 01:35:01,320
Speaker 1: You've been a little it's just dollars, you.

2130
01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:04,240
Speaker 3: Know, I like, you don't got a full course meal,

2131
01:35:04,439 --> 01:35:06,000
Speaker 3: and you feel like, oh my god, is this all

2132
01:35:06,040 --> 01:35:07,360
Speaker 3: because I need to feel left?

2133
01:35:07,560 --> 01:35:09,840
Speaker 2: And it is, and it is and then and then never,

2134
01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:12,160
Speaker 2: and then we're disappointed when it's when it's not reciprocated,

2135
01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:14,680
Speaker 2: and then we're looking I'm depressed, yeah, and then you're like,

2136
01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:15,719
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm depressed.

2137
01:35:15,720 --> 01:35:18,679
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let baby that sleep over now just play

2138
01:35:21,320 --> 01:35:27,439
Speaker 1: that was him. Yeah, anyway, I fucked up. I'm disappointed

2139
01:35:27,479 --> 01:35:29,479
Speaker 1: at my funck ups. Don't funk up if you haven't.

2140
01:35:29,560 --> 01:35:30,679
Speaker 1: If you have, we can reset.

2141
01:35:30,840 --> 01:35:33,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can always reset. And I'm not here to

2142
01:35:33,920 --> 01:35:36,160
Speaker 2: judge you, Jamila. I have you an artists, and I

2143
01:35:36,240 --> 01:35:39,560
Speaker 2: get it because he was fine, No, for real that

2144
01:35:39,640 --> 01:35:41,360
Speaker 2: that counts for something too. I'm about to show you

2145
01:35:41,479 --> 01:35:43,439
Speaker 2: he was real fine, real fine.

2146
01:35:43,560 --> 01:35:46,120
Speaker 1: I'm excited, but I just like, I don't know for me.

2147
01:35:46,280 --> 01:35:48,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I'm doing it to try to focus, which

2148
01:35:48,360 --> 01:35:50,599
Speaker 2: I think it's actually making me realize a lot of things,

2149
01:35:50,720 --> 01:35:53,800
Speaker 2: like I'm actually caring less about Like today, happy Baby

2150
01:35:53,800 --> 01:35:54,160
Speaker 2: pissed me.

2151
01:35:54,200 --> 01:35:56,040
Speaker 1: Off, and I'm just like, you know, I'm glad I'm

2152
01:35:56,040 --> 01:35:58,519
Speaker 1: not sleeping with you right now. M don't get right here.

2153
01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:03,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, he pissed me off today, and Loki, I'm

2154
01:36:03,439 --> 01:36:05,840
Speaker 2: happy that I'm sleeping with him right now. I was

2155
01:36:05,880 --> 01:36:07,120
Speaker 2: like this, and I was like, that's why I am

2156
01:36:07,120 --> 01:36:08,760
Speaker 2: saying what you are yes right now, I'm not even

2157
01:36:08,800 --> 01:36:11,559
Speaker 2: I'm actually less mad, like had I like been sleeping

2158
01:36:11,600 --> 01:36:14,920
Speaker 2: with you, more emotional, more emotional about.

2159
01:36:15,080 --> 01:36:20,880
Speaker 1: Like you know what happened today? But he was late, real, real, real,

2160
01:36:21,000 --> 01:36:25,040
Speaker 1: real late. It's always late. Also pisses me off telling

2161
01:36:25,040 --> 01:36:28,320
Speaker 1: each other's business. Oh, not like an hour late, not

2162
01:36:28,520 --> 01:36:30,599
Speaker 1: like thirty minutes late, like an hour and a half late.

2163
01:36:31,280 --> 01:36:33,880
Speaker 1: And he met I read for the first time. Oh

2164
01:36:34,000 --> 01:36:37,200
Speaker 1: so this is a serious day. I mean I like him,

2165
01:36:37,320 --> 01:36:39,479
Speaker 1: like him happy, happy. It was a group it was

2166
01:36:39,479 --> 01:36:41,240
Speaker 1: a group environment. It was oh, that's fine.

2167
01:36:41,479 --> 01:36:44,160
Speaker 3: I wasn't like this is my no, he's not my boyfriend,

2168
01:36:44,240 --> 01:36:48,400
Speaker 3: but no, Like I just felt like, are you affectionate

2169
01:36:48,439 --> 01:36:50,080
Speaker 3: in like, no, okay.

2170
01:36:50,400 --> 01:36:52,360
Speaker 1: I've never been affectionate with the man in front of

2171
01:36:52,400 --> 01:36:52,920
Speaker 1: it that I can.

2172
01:36:53,840 --> 01:36:59,240
Speaker 2: And he was maybe that's unhealthy, but I think that's

2173
01:36:59,280 --> 01:37:00,920
Speaker 2: why I was so because I was like, you know

2174
01:37:01,080 --> 01:37:03,000
Speaker 2: that I'm bringing her to like out here, it is

2175
01:37:03,000 --> 01:37:04,120
Speaker 2: the first time you're going to meet her.

2176
01:37:05,840 --> 01:37:07,240
Speaker 1: Well, then, so I was pissed.

2177
01:37:07,280 --> 01:37:08,840
Speaker 2: He didn't show up for like, and I was like

2178
01:37:08,880 --> 01:37:11,400
Speaker 2: where Actually I didn't even text him. He texted me

2179
01:37:11,600 --> 01:37:14,479
Speaker 2: like an hour into the brunch and was like, hey,

2180
01:37:14,520 --> 01:37:16,200
Speaker 2: I'm about to hop in the shower. I'll be down

2181
01:37:16,360 --> 01:37:19,120
Speaker 2: there and I was like, don't bother. Yeah, and then

2182
01:37:19,160 --> 01:37:21,280
Speaker 2: he was and then he didn't answer respond and he

2183
01:37:21,320 --> 01:37:22,840
Speaker 2: called me. I didn't answer, and then he texted me

2184
01:37:22,960 --> 01:37:24,320
Speaker 2: like I was out getting her a gift.

2185
01:37:24,360 --> 01:37:24,800
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

2186
01:37:24,880 --> 01:37:26,880
Speaker 2: I didn't like I didn't want to come empty handed

2187
01:37:27,479 --> 01:37:31,160
Speaker 2: and like, I'm sorry, and I was like, well, we're

2188
01:37:31,200 --> 01:37:31,880
Speaker 2: still here, son.

2189
01:37:31,880 --> 01:37:34,160
Speaker 1: He came with the gi the gifts made up, but

2190
01:37:34,280 --> 01:37:37,160
Speaker 1: I was so annoyed. But then he was like, you know,

2191
01:37:37,240 --> 01:37:38,640
Speaker 1: I didn't know I was invited to the brunch that

2192
01:37:38,720 --> 01:37:40,439
Speaker 1: I just wanted me to stop by. I'm like, these

2193
01:37:40,479 --> 01:37:42,559
Speaker 1: things other are so dumb, like you felt things.

2194
01:37:42,360 --> 01:37:45,439
Speaker 2: Out like I invited you to brunch, not to roll

2195
01:37:45,520 --> 01:37:47,800
Speaker 2: by the brunch, so I need to say, like come

2196
01:37:48,000 --> 01:37:49,559
Speaker 2: eat with us at the brunch.

2197
01:37:49,800 --> 01:37:50,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's why I said to them. I'm like,

2198
01:37:51,040 --> 01:37:52,960
Speaker 1: is that how specific I need to be? Because that's

2199
01:37:53,080 --> 01:37:54,840
Speaker 1: you're ridiculous. He's like, well, I thought you want to

2200
01:37:54,880 --> 01:37:56,920
Speaker 1: hang with your friends. I'm like, we're all friends. You're

2201
01:37:56,960 --> 01:37:59,680
Speaker 1: my friend too, Like you're not my man, right, so

2202
01:38:00,160 --> 01:38:06,920
Speaker 1: your friends, like I don't know. Anyway, we forgot to talk.

2203
01:38:06,800 --> 01:38:08,400
Speaker 3: About our current events, but I don't we didn't really

2204
01:38:08,479 --> 01:38:11,320
Speaker 3: understand them anyway. So I feel like we're going to

2205
01:38:11,360 --> 01:38:13,400
Speaker 3: talk about Kanye and like the king of R and B,

2206
01:38:13,600 --> 01:38:14,160
Speaker 3: but we don't really.

2207
01:38:14,200 --> 01:38:15,080
Speaker 1: I mean, let's be really.

2208
01:38:15,120 --> 01:38:16,559
Speaker 2: All I wanted to talk about was Cardi B Cardi

2209
01:38:16,640 --> 01:38:18,840
Speaker 2: by Oh, I just I just feel like that whole

2210
01:38:18,880 --> 01:38:21,680
Speaker 2: situation is strong. Yeah, I just am so annoyed by

2211
01:38:21,720 --> 01:38:25,519
Speaker 2: everybody's strong telling her to take him back, Like why he.

2212
01:38:25,680 --> 01:38:29,360
Speaker 1: Disrespects her constantly? Why why would you say this is

2213
01:38:29,439 --> 01:38:33,080
Speaker 1: not the first, this is not It was on the internet.

2214
01:38:33,200 --> 01:38:36,599
Speaker 1: She yea the whole girl and she talked about storysome

2215
01:38:36,840 --> 01:38:42,240
Speaker 1: is not the only situation. No, I don't know about this, yo, girl.

2216
01:38:42,560 --> 01:38:44,600
Speaker 1: I only saw one girl crying, so I didn't know

2217
01:38:44,640 --> 01:38:46,400
Speaker 1: there was We had a girl crying. But what was

2218
01:38:46,400 --> 01:38:47,120
Speaker 1: the girl crying about?

2219
01:38:47,360 --> 01:38:50,320
Speaker 3: Because she's like, oh, I think I saw that. Well,

2220
01:38:50,320 --> 01:38:51,880
Speaker 3: I thought she was supposed to have a threesome with

2221
01:38:51,960 --> 01:38:54,120
Speaker 3: her and another another girl and.

2222
01:38:54,280 --> 01:38:56,920
Speaker 1: Said, I remember the last time that I saw them

2223
01:38:56,960 --> 01:38:57,559
Speaker 1: having THO was on.

2224
01:38:57,600 --> 01:39:02,479
Speaker 2: Twitter and the girl liked yeah while she was pregnant

2225
01:39:02,560 --> 01:39:03,960
Speaker 2: after the bab while she was pregnant.

2226
01:39:04,000 --> 01:39:07,439
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, Well it's like why why should she take

2227
01:39:07,720 --> 01:39:12,280
Speaker 1: endore this. She kind of made that people use the

2228
01:39:12,360 --> 01:39:14,240
Speaker 1: baby thing like people are like, y'all got a little bit,

2229
01:39:15,479 --> 01:39:17,719
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, so because you have a baby somewhere,

2230
01:39:17,720 --> 01:39:20,000
Speaker 1: you're supposed to allow them to continue to disrespect you.

2231
01:39:20,760 --> 01:39:22,760
Speaker 2: She's I mean, I don't know the girl at all,

2232
01:39:22,840 --> 01:39:26,719
Speaker 2: but she seems like a really cool girl, like side Chicks.

2233
01:39:26,760 --> 01:39:31,080
Speaker 1: No Hardy, Oh yeah, Cardi Yeah, thats like a cool girl.

2234
01:39:32,880 --> 01:39:37,599
Speaker 1: One loving happy, like go be happy. Yeah. Like he's

2235
01:39:37,680 --> 01:39:39,439
Speaker 1: not going to change and he's not gonna get that

2236
01:39:39,520 --> 01:39:42,320
Speaker 1: anywhere else. And it's like to keep it real and

2237
01:39:42,400 --> 01:39:44,800
Speaker 1: not to be annoying. It's like, y'all both got money.

2238
01:39:44,880 --> 01:39:47,360
Speaker 1: It's not like no one's struggling if this doesn't work out.

2239
01:39:47,439 --> 01:39:49,919
Speaker 4: No one's struggling if this doesn't work out, because sometimes,

2240
01:39:50,040 --> 01:39:52,080
Speaker 4: like especially just living in La I know, hell, people

2241
01:39:52,120 --> 01:39:53,559
Speaker 4: in relationships to maintain rent.

2242
01:39:54,560 --> 01:39:56,519
Speaker 2: So they're like, and you don't want to do that either,

2243
01:39:56,760 --> 01:39:58,920
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like, y'all both good without

2244
01:39:58,960 --> 01:40:01,679
Speaker 2: one another. You're here is gonna be fine without.

2245
01:40:01,520 --> 01:40:04,400
Speaker 1: Him, period. He's gonna be fine. Yeah, But men, but

2246
01:40:04,560 --> 01:40:06,120
Speaker 1: a man will make you feel like you need them

2247
01:40:06,240 --> 01:40:08,400
Speaker 1: in your career and and you.

2248
01:40:08,439 --> 01:40:10,719
Speaker 3: Know, life and whether or not you're Cardi or a rapper,

2249
01:40:10,960 --> 01:40:13,640
Speaker 3: or or a fucking podcast, you're a parody rapper or

2250
01:40:13,640 --> 01:40:15,960
Speaker 3: a right your job, whatever the fuck you got going on,

2251
01:40:16,560 --> 01:40:21,280
Speaker 3: No nigga, no man is like worth being disrespected, not

2252
01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:23,719
Speaker 3: for a bill, not for your sake, for your child.

2253
01:40:24,080 --> 01:40:26,160
Speaker 3: In fact, that only makes you more miserable because now

2254
01:40:26,160 --> 01:40:28,160
Speaker 3: you're living in a house with a person you don't

2255
01:40:28,240 --> 01:40:31,040
Speaker 3: fucking like. It's gonna make you a worse mom, a

2256
01:40:31,120 --> 01:40:34,679
Speaker 3: worst person, a worst cowdre and insecure as fun.

2257
01:40:35,160 --> 01:40:38,839
Speaker 4: Since the first thing that happened with them, that's been miserable,

2258
01:40:39,000 --> 01:40:42,760
Speaker 4: Like my daughter's father cheated on me, and then after that,

2259
01:40:42,960 --> 01:40:46,280
Speaker 4: like we stayed together for a certain amount of time.

2260
01:40:46,400 --> 01:40:52,040
Speaker 1: I was a psycho FaceTime me let me see your background. Yeah, okay,

2261
01:40:52,120 --> 01:40:54,360
Speaker 1: I bought a tracker on an Amazon and I dropped

2262
01:40:54,360 --> 01:40:57,439
Speaker 1: the tracker on his car like under the seat. Yeah.

2263
01:40:57,600 --> 01:40:59,040
Speaker 2: Like nobody wants to live out life, Like you know,

2264
01:40:59,120 --> 01:41:02,000
Speaker 2: it's like, what's the like being this obsessed, Like you're

2265
01:41:02,640 --> 01:41:05,640
Speaker 2: I personally feel like people are gonna cheat and then

2266
01:41:05,680 --> 01:41:08,120
Speaker 2: there's a fine line between that, Like you know, back

2267
01:41:08,160 --> 01:41:10,160
Speaker 2: in the day, people would stay together for an extending

2268
01:41:10,160 --> 01:41:12,679
Speaker 2: amount of time, no matter what happened, just to maintain

2269
01:41:12,760 --> 01:41:13,360
Speaker 2: their household.

2270
01:41:13,520 --> 01:41:17,519
Speaker 1: But I also know that like seeing that like as

2271
01:41:17,560 --> 01:41:19,920
Speaker 1: a child growing up, that's not healthy.

2272
01:41:20,200 --> 01:41:22,799
Speaker 3: That's why I can't be committed as an adult because

2273
01:41:22,800 --> 01:41:24,920
Speaker 3: it's all type of function and her all type of

2274
01:41:24,960 --> 01:41:27,480
Speaker 3: function between my parents, cheating and infidelity.

2275
01:41:27,600 --> 01:41:28,479
Speaker 1: As as a child, I.

2276
01:41:28,439 --> 01:41:31,360
Speaker 2: Almost feel like if this was if she had cheated

2277
01:41:31,439 --> 01:41:34,280
Speaker 2: on him, like, oh, so different the conversation.

2278
01:41:37,160 --> 01:41:39,479
Speaker 1: Do you know she used to be a stripper? Yeah, exactly.

2279
01:41:39,479 --> 01:41:41,080
Speaker 1: They would have pull that stripper card so fast. What

2280
01:41:41,160 --> 01:41:44,720
Speaker 1: did you expect? You know, I just don't know what's

2281
01:41:45,479 --> 01:41:47,759
Speaker 1: to me. It's so like Black Love.

2282
01:41:47,760 --> 01:41:50,920
Speaker 3: Like they're not they're nothing to fucking poster children from

2283
01:41:50,960 --> 01:41:53,120
Speaker 3: Black Love. First of all, like you said, Eric made

2284
01:41:53,120 --> 01:41:55,880
Speaker 3: a good point, like they're both fucking babies, they're both young.

2285
01:41:56,280 --> 01:41:59,400
Speaker 4: I'm just tired of expectations of women, Black women specifically

2286
01:41:59,479 --> 01:42:02,040
Speaker 4: being so tires than the standards of the black men

2287
01:42:02,600 --> 01:42:06,679
Speaker 4: that you think for mothers too. You know, God forbid,

2288
01:42:06,760 --> 01:42:09,000
Speaker 4: I'm out somewhere and people don't know where my child is.

2289
01:42:09,080 --> 01:42:10,880
Speaker 1: Oh you don't have like your daughter with you, Like

2290
01:42:11,040 --> 01:42:14,720
Speaker 1: my baby I can go through like weeks. Do you

2291
01:42:14,800 --> 01:42:17,880
Speaker 1: think his friends be like, where's your daughter? No, we don't.

2292
01:42:18,080 --> 01:42:20,360
Speaker 1: Baby mom is holding it down, like, yeah, you do

2293
01:42:20,479 --> 01:42:22,519
Speaker 1: your shit though when you take her to the park, right.

2294
01:42:22,880 --> 01:42:25,160
Speaker 1: We need to be more accountable as a community.

2295
01:42:25,360 --> 01:42:27,360
Speaker 3: We need to be more account of those community because

2296
01:42:27,439 --> 01:42:30,080
Speaker 3: for real, like for me, I don't have any girlfriends

2297
01:42:30,160 --> 01:42:33,599
Speaker 3: that are shitty moms. It's never happened because guess what, bitch,

2298
01:42:33,640 --> 01:42:35,880
Speaker 3: if you're a shitty mom, you can't be a shitty friend.

2299
01:42:35,960 --> 01:42:38,400
Speaker 1: You can't be a good friend because that's your blood.

2300
01:42:38,439 --> 01:42:40,160
Speaker 1: It came out of your pussy. If you don't take

2301
01:42:40,200 --> 01:42:40,760
Speaker 1: care of your kid.

2302
01:42:40,640 --> 01:42:42,000
Speaker 3: And I don't see you with your kid, like not

2303
01:42:42,080 --> 01:42:44,280
Speaker 3: that I'm judging, but like someone who loves their kid

2304
01:42:44,360 --> 01:42:46,920
Speaker 3: live with their granny and you live perfectly down the

2305
01:42:46,920 --> 01:42:48,760
Speaker 3: street and you see a niggas more than you see

2306
01:42:48,760 --> 01:42:51,800
Speaker 3: your kid, we are not going to be friends. Same

2307
01:42:51,880 --> 01:42:54,000
Speaker 3: with the man, we're not going to be fucking homies.

2308
01:42:54,080 --> 01:42:56,760
Speaker 3: If I don't like, where's your kid? I immediately if

2309
01:42:56,760 --> 01:42:59,000
Speaker 3: I'm dating soon on a date, where's your kid live?

2310
01:42:59,040 --> 01:43:01,080
Speaker 1: How often do you see them? Howl? You guy shouldn't

2311
01:43:01,080 --> 01:43:03,920
Speaker 1: say baby mama, do you can? Because if you don't,

2312
01:43:04,080 --> 01:43:07,160
Speaker 1: I don't, you don't I prefer it. I can't. I can't,

2313
01:43:07,200 --> 01:43:09,439
Speaker 1: I don't. Maybe I'm just still.

2314
01:43:09,320 --> 01:43:13,080
Speaker 4: Like in the weird phase of like knowing how baby

2315
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:15,920
Speaker 4: daddies act with baby mamas because I see.

2316
01:43:15,800 --> 01:43:18,679
Speaker 1: The way that my bit trying to get the pussy. Yeah,

2317
01:43:18,800 --> 01:43:22,400
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, like you know what I mean.

2318
01:43:22,720 --> 01:43:26,000
Speaker 4: So maybe at a certain age, maybe I'll say that

2319
01:43:26,080 --> 01:43:28,320
Speaker 4: maybe that's not fair. Maybe not anyone with kids, but

2320
01:43:28,479 --> 01:43:31,080
Speaker 4: like if you five and under, if your kid is

2321
01:43:31,120 --> 01:43:31,400
Speaker 4: five and.

2322
01:43:31,439 --> 01:43:32,599
Speaker 1: Under, I'm really that's true.

2323
01:43:32,720 --> 01:43:35,040
Speaker 4: That's true because I just feel like there's too close

2324
01:43:35,120 --> 01:43:39,240
Speaker 4: to the connection. But also same thing, like if you

2325
01:43:39,360 --> 01:43:41,120
Speaker 4: don't see that, that's not.

2326
01:43:41,240 --> 01:43:44,400
Speaker 2: Fair because I don't sleep with my baby daddy. I

2327
01:43:44,479 --> 01:43:48,599
Speaker 2: have not slept with him since your rarity, but it exists,

2328
01:43:49,000 --> 01:43:51,000
Speaker 2: and I'm saying if.

2329
01:43:50,880 --> 01:43:53,639
Speaker 3: You tried, he would definitely sleep with you, of course,

2330
01:43:53,680 --> 01:43:55,920
Speaker 3: but I'm just saying, like he regularly he doesn't.

2331
01:43:56,080 --> 01:43:58,320
Speaker 2: He doesn't though, No, he tries in his own way,

2332
01:43:58,360 --> 01:44:00,360
Speaker 2: but I don't want to, and like I have not

2333
01:44:00,439 --> 01:44:01,679
Speaker 2: slept with him since the day.

2334
01:44:01,600 --> 01:44:03,320
Speaker 1: We broke up. You know what it is for me?

2335
01:44:03,640 --> 01:44:06,840
Speaker 1: For me, it's that my my I don't think I

2336
01:44:06,880 --> 01:44:08,519
Speaker 1: haven't had to say this more. Maybe Daddy about a year.

2337
01:44:08,520 --> 01:44:13,800
Speaker 4: I absolutely right this year, but like not within like

2338
01:44:13,880 --> 01:44:16,240
Speaker 4: the past year or so. But my whole thing with

2339
01:44:16,360 --> 01:44:22,120
Speaker 4: it is really just it comes down to I know

2340
01:44:22,320 --> 01:44:24,680
Speaker 4: that if I allowed anything that it would be what

2341
01:44:24,920 --> 01:44:28,760
Speaker 4: happens my baby daddy in comparison to other men, he's

2342
01:44:28,800 --> 01:44:31,479
Speaker 4: the only man that I am comfortable with having around

2343
01:44:31,520 --> 01:44:31,920
Speaker 4: my daughter.

2344
01:44:32,360 --> 01:44:34,840
Speaker 1: So sometimes it's easier for stuff to happen.

2345
01:44:35,200 --> 01:44:36,920
Speaker 3: And then low key you see your kids like why

2346
01:44:37,040 --> 01:44:39,200
Speaker 3: that lucky yeah, and be happy like oh, like you

2347
01:44:39,280 --> 01:44:40,880
Speaker 3: woke up with both parents.

2348
01:44:40,920 --> 01:44:42,640
Speaker 2: Another thing, and you date a man with kids, you

2349
01:44:42,720 --> 01:44:44,560
Speaker 2: have to have a certain amount of accountability for like

2350
01:44:44,640 --> 01:44:46,120
Speaker 2: how much more you're willing to take on if it

2351
01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:48,840
Speaker 2: gets serious, And like I personally am not a fan

2352
01:44:49,080 --> 01:44:52,479
Speaker 2: of like thinking about like adding other kids to the situation,

2353
01:44:53,000 --> 01:44:55,280
Speaker 2: and you have to want to genuinely love and care

2354
01:44:55,479 --> 01:44:57,160
Speaker 2: and I'm sure the right person, in the right time,

2355
01:44:57,240 --> 01:44:59,200
Speaker 2: something would happen. I might feel that way, but like,

2356
01:44:59,280 --> 01:45:00,960
Speaker 2: I'm not going to go in the situation with someone

2357
01:45:01,000 --> 01:45:02,840
Speaker 2: that has a child that I'm not thinking like wow,

2358
01:45:02,960 --> 01:45:06,679
Speaker 2: like I'm so like happy, Like I'm kids are annoying

2359
01:45:07,080 --> 01:45:07,800
Speaker 2: for a.

2360
01:45:07,840 --> 01:45:10,800
Speaker 1: Lot of times, belong to you know what I mean?

2361
01:45:11,000 --> 01:45:13,040
Speaker 1: It could just get mess you Like, I mean, I

2362
01:45:13,080 --> 01:45:16,760
Speaker 1: shouldn't have much of a perfect because I.

2363
01:45:16,800 --> 01:45:19,720
Speaker 2: Feel like many if they're good parents and good a

2364
01:45:19,760 --> 01:45:23,400
Speaker 2: good father, they understand accountability. They understand responsibility more than

2365
01:45:23,439 --> 01:45:25,639
Speaker 2: someone who doesn't like happy bad.

2366
01:45:25,880 --> 01:45:28,000
Speaker 1: It all comes down to the trust issue. He doesn't understand.

2367
01:45:28,040 --> 01:45:31,760
Speaker 2: I feel like he doesn't respect my time because I understand, like,

2368
01:45:32,520 --> 01:45:36,439
Speaker 2: like my time literally costs money. Yeah, exactly when I

2369
01:45:37,200 --> 01:45:38,560
Speaker 2: when I go to see you and I let I

2370
01:45:38,840 --> 01:45:40,960
Speaker 2: go over to the Nandy's house, I'm paying her.

2371
01:45:41,479 --> 01:45:44,240
Speaker 1: Okay, I make him start paying. Yeah, you should well go.

2372
01:45:44,479 --> 01:45:46,160
Speaker 1: Do you pay her like that is just like U

2373
01:45:46,680 --> 01:45:49,720
Speaker 1: like a No, I pay her a salary. No, it's

2374
01:45:49,720 --> 01:45:53,320
Speaker 1: some salary. I was like daily. So if I want

2375
01:45:53,360 --> 01:45:55,600
Speaker 1: to drop her off on Sunday, which is not workday.

2376
01:45:55,760 --> 01:45:58,120
Speaker 3: You pay extra Like Monday through Friday you have a

2377
01:45:58,160 --> 01:46:00,519
Speaker 3: set schedule, but on the weekend. And said, that's the

2378
01:46:00,840 --> 01:46:03,519
Speaker 3: thing with the Dick talks, like you you jump into

2379
01:46:03,640 --> 01:46:06,240
Speaker 3: loops to get a baby's I'm saying money de talks

2380
01:46:06,240 --> 01:46:07,080
Speaker 3: is saving money.

2381
01:46:07,360 --> 01:46:08,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true. It's true.

2382
01:46:09,280 --> 01:46:11,600
Speaker 2: You're not going to get you know, your house, I

2383
01:46:11,680 --> 01:46:12,759
Speaker 2: told you annihilate its.

2384
01:46:12,640 --> 01:46:14,479
Speaker 1: Like a bird. So if I'm feeding a whole man,

2385
01:46:15,120 --> 01:46:19,280
Speaker 1: It's like you eat like you actually my paycheck and

2386
01:46:19,320 --> 01:46:20,600
Speaker 1: I don't got time for that. It's just as a

2387
01:46:20,640 --> 01:46:22,640
Speaker 1: matter of trust issues, Like it's really just the.

2388
01:46:22,680 --> 01:46:24,720
Speaker 4: Self healing that I feel like I probably haven't done

2389
01:46:24,800 --> 01:46:27,080
Speaker 4: yet to feel like anyone with a kid might potentially

2390
01:46:27,120 --> 01:46:27,680
Speaker 4: be stepping out.

2391
01:46:27,760 --> 01:46:29,240
Speaker 1: Like that's my own insecurities period.

2392
01:46:29,280 --> 01:46:30,680
Speaker 2: But that's just like where I'm at right now. I

2393
01:46:30,760 --> 01:46:33,519
Speaker 2: don't trust people. So if you have a whole other

2394
01:46:33,560 --> 01:46:34,519
Speaker 2: situation where you're.

2395
01:46:34,360 --> 01:46:39,600
Speaker 1: Tied like that, I know personally my situation that my

2396
01:46:39,720 --> 01:46:40,519
Speaker 1: got has.

2397
01:46:40,439 --> 01:46:42,120
Speaker 4: Been in a whole other relationship with someone when my

2398
01:46:42,160 --> 01:46:43,479
Speaker 4: daughter was three months old, and I said, I don't

2399
01:46:43,479 --> 01:46:44,320
Speaker 4: want you to be with her anymore.

2400
01:46:44,320 --> 01:46:45,479
Speaker 1: I want to be with you. Though I knew I

2401
01:46:45,520 --> 01:46:47,120
Speaker 1: didn't want to be with him. I just didn't like

2402
01:46:47,120 --> 01:46:48,479
Speaker 1: the fact that he was with another person and he

2403
01:46:48,520 --> 01:46:49,639
Speaker 1: broke up and got back together.

2404
01:46:50,280 --> 01:46:51,640
Speaker 4: And you know what I mean to like, just like

2405
01:46:52,280 --> 01:46:56,080
Speaker 4: having that personal experience makes me think about that type

2406
01:46:56,120 --> 01:46:56,760
Speaker 4: of connection in.

2407
01:46:56,800 --> 01:46:59,400
Speaker 1: A different way. That's important to think that way, because

2408
01:46:59,600 --> 01:46:59,960
Speaker 1: it's true.

2409
01:47:00,320 --> 01:47:01,840
Speaker 4: I don't even dn't nobody no. I used to be

2410
01:47:01,880 --> 01:47:04,040
Speaker 4: on my own detox anyway, because I'm wasted daycare. We

2411
01:47:05,040 --> 01:47:06,479
Speaker 4: look an extra food that I don't.

2412
01:47:07,200 --> 01:47:10,000
Speaker 1: Are you trying to join to day one today? Well?

2413
01:47:10,000 --> 01:47:14,040
Speaker 1: I might be one, because you know I was like

2414
01:47:14,040 --> 01:47:19,080
Speaker 1: a couple of hours before you got here. Tomorrow, I'm okay,

2415
01:47:19,080 --> 01:47:21,879
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start tomorrow. What's the day? So it's December sixteenth,

2416
01:47:22,200 --> 01:47:25,800
Speaker 1: December seventeenth, sixty days, so February seventeen. Well, no, you

2417
01:47:25,840 --> 01:47:27,760
Speaker 1: don't have to. You can it's well, I mean, you

2418
01:47:27,760 --> 01:47:30,080
Speaker 1: can do your own sixty finished, or you can end

2419
01:47:30,280 --> 01:47:32,640
Speaker 1: with us. I'll end with you, guys. She's like, we

2420
01:47:32,720 --> 01:47:35,680
Speaker 1: get we get the day, okay, ivery set? What am

2421
01:47:35,680 --> 01:47:37,680
Speaker 1: I going to replace it with? What do you?

2422
01:47:38,160 --> 01:47:38,280
Speaker 3: Oh?

2423
01:47:38,439 --> 01:47:40,520
Speaker 1: You don't have to Oh, we don't have to plasturbation

2424
01:47:40,840 --> 01:47:42,320
Speaker 1: masturbation which I need to work on too.

2425
01:47:42,360 --> 01:47:43,640
Speaker 4: I don't I need to work on I need to

2426
01:47:43,680 --> 01:47:45,680
Speaker 4: get some actual new sex boys because I have my

2427
01:47:45,800 --> 01:47:47,519
Speaker 4: magic wand that's she's about to blow up.

2428
01:47:47,760 --> 01:47:51,640
Speaker 1: What is this in the wall? Oh my god? You magic?

2429
01:47:52,080 --> 01:47:55,519
Speaker 1: You both have plugins? No, she has a massage that, well,

2430
01:47:55,600 --> 01:48:00,320
Speaker 1: mine is literally like a massage massage. It's not a

2431
01:48:00,360 --> 01:48:03,640
Speaker 1: sleep Yeah. I have an actual massager that I was

2432
01:48:03,920 --> 01:48:06,760
Speaker 1: when I was pregnant. So mine plugs in the wall.

2433
01:48:06,880 --> 01:48:08,400
Speaker 1: My BD gave it to me when I was do

2434
01:48:08,439 --> 01:48:09,559
Speaker 1: you need an extinction cord?

2435
01:48:10,120 --> 01:48:13,040
Speaker 2: It's pretty long on its own, okay, well mine, it's

2436
01:48:13,200 --> 01:48:15,360
Speaker 2: very limited, so you have to be in a certain areas.

2437
01:48:15,680 --> 01:48:19,880
Speaker 2: I have to really plan out your location. And it's

2438
01:48:20,040 --> 01:48:24,120
Speaker 2: because it's it's definitely like a massager. Yeah back, but

2439
01:48:24,280 --> 01:48:26,400
Speaker 2: it's is called magic massage.

2440
01:48:26,520 --> 01:48:27,599
Speaker 1: No, but it's low key.

2441
01:48:27,680 --> 01:48:31,280
Speaker 2: It's the strongestporation I've ever experienced.

2442
01:48:31,680 --> 01:48:33,000
Speaker 1: I think that is why I don't enjoy sex with

2443
01:48:33,080 --> 01:48:36,160
Speaker 1: other people. I've had the biggest ohs in my life

2444
01:48:36,200 --> 01:48:38,559
Speaker 1: with it. That day, Air for being such a bitch.

2445
01:48:38,640 --> 01:48:40,880
Speaker 1: We're supposed to work. She's like, I'm mad to get

2446
01:48:40,880 --> 01:48:43,479
Speaker 1: those kids out of the way. Come out. I was like,

2447
01:48:43,479 --> 01:48:45,519
Speaker 1: we're not gonna get anything done, so like a really

2448
01:48:45,560 --> 01:48:48,200
Speaker 1: bad movie. Two hours later, she texts me like, I

2449
01:48:48,280 --> 01:48:52,240
Speaker 1: am mast ate. I'm feeling so much better. She's like,

2450
01:48:52,360 --> 01:48:55,320
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm masturbated. I feel great. That's what

2451
01:48:55,479 --> 01:48:55,960
Speaker 1: mine was.

2452
01:48:56,040 --> 01:48:59,400
Speaker 2: It plugs in the wall, and it's just like primarily

2453
01:48:59,560 --> 01:49:05,600
Speaker 2: like tooral stimulation. I'm sorry, and it just sets it

2454
01:49:05,720 --> 01:49:06,479
Speaker 2: off the right way.

2455
01:49:06,720 --> 01:49:09,320
Speaker 1: But I've had mine for so many years that now

2456
01:49:09,360 --> 01:49:11,200
Speaker 1: when I plug it up like it starts to get

2457
01:49:11,240 --> 01:49:11,920
Speaker 1: hot real quick.

2458
01:49:15,520 --> 01:49:17,479
Speaker 2: Like I don't need you to just wear me down,

2459
01:49:17,600 --> 01:49:19,880
Speaker 2: like even get you when you want to go to

2460
01:49:20,240 --> 01:49:22,640
Speaker 2: I think I need to get something go to romantics.

2461
01:49:23,439 --> 01:49:26,639
Speaker 1: I mean we did. Let we need a sex toy sponsor. Yeah,

2462
01:49:26,680 --> 01:49:30,840
Speaker 1: you guys should toy party. Oh yeah, like that would

2463
01:49:30,880 --> 01:49:36,080
Speaker 1: be fun, That would be fun. Yeah. There's a shop

2464
01:49:36,320 --> 01:49:39,840
Speaker 1: somewhere that was on I think it's like Oxnard in

2465
01:49:39,960 --> 01:49:43,320
Speaker 1: Supvida and that was a lot like a couple of

2466
01:49:43,400 --> 01:49:45,519
Speaker 1: years ago. I went in there to get a jack rabbit.

2467
01:49:46,000 --> 01:49:51,920
Speaker 4: It's like fire and I'm like yeah, but I didn't

2468
01:49:51,960 --> 01:49:54,759
Speaker 4: go back because I got invited to a sex party.

2469
01:49:55,080 --> 01:49:56,880
Speaker 1: When I walked in, it was real they have him

2470
01:49:56,920 --> 01:50:00,200
Speaker 1: in the back. So a sex party. Oh wait, like

2471
01:50:00,280 --> 01:50:03,000
Speaker 1: not everyone's at the party. Yeah, I've only seen that.

2472
01:50:03,120 --> 01:50:05,960
Speaker 4: But you didn't go back because Yeah, I feel weird

2473
01:50:05,960 --> 01:50:09,880
Speaker 4: because honestly, like, I mean, the crowd didn't look like

2474
01:50:09,960 --> 01:50:11,040
Speaker 4: the crowd that I wanted.

2475
01:50:10,800 --> 01:50:14,679
Speaker 1: To have a crowd. Do you want to have sex parties?

2476
01:50:14,720 --> 01:50:16,519
Speaker 1: I was like, look like if it's a bunch of

2477
01:50:17,240 --> 01:50:20,120
Speaker 1: I've been to a couple of sex parties, debons and everything,

2478
01:50:20,200 --> 01:50:26,439
Speaker 1: and you know what I mean like Travis, but Travis. Yeah,

2479
01:50:26,520 --> 01:50:27,760
Speaker 1: it looked like it was gonna be a bunch of

2480
01:50:27,840 --> 01:50:30,280
Speaker 1: Charlie's but it was. It was interesting.

2481
01:50:30,400 --> 01:50:32,519
Speaker 4: But I definitely need to invest in anyone that's funny.

2482
01:50:32,760 --> 01:50:34,160
Speaker 4: I think it's like the same thing, but those are

2483
01:50:34,280 --> 01:50:36,479
Speaker 4: for the best. But really, honestly, after because when she

2484
01:50:36,520 --> 01:50:38,400
Speaker 4: came over, I was really irritable. I was like, I

2485
01:50:38,479 --> 01:50:40,800
Speaker 4: was having anxiety. I couldn't understand why. I was trying

2486
01:50:40,840 --> 01:50:44,040
Speaker 4: to figure out why I felt so anxious. And then

2487
01:50:44,600 --> 01:50:47,280
Speaker 4: I let it loose and I was like that was it.

2488
01:50:47,520 --> 01:50:50,479
Speaker 2: I was like, I mean, I do masterurbright, but I

2489
01:50:50,840 --> 01:50:53,479
Speaker 2: used to do it way more. But that reminded me

2490
01:50:53,600 --> 01:50:56,040
Speaker 2: because I am on the Detoks. I was like, yo,

2491
01:50:56,760 --> 01:50:59,519
Speaker 2: this just literally cured so much ship for me right now,

2492
01:51:00,600 --> 01:51:01,560
Speaker 2: let me just let go.

2493
01:51:01,640 --> 01:51:03,479
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I was mad about anymore,

2494
01:51:03,600 --> 01:51:06,800
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And you always say that

2495
01:51:07,000 --> 01:51:08,920
Speaker 1: I know, I have to just do it on my

2496
01:51:09,040 --> 01:51:11,080
Speaker 1: own then, because like I said, like your girl lives

2497
01:51:11,080 --> 01:51:14,080
Speaker 1: in a stud you have a sex toy? Is it good?

2498
01:51:14,160 --> 01:51:15,320
Speaker 1: Do you need to go get any one? I mean,

2499
01:51:15,400 --> 01:51:18,040
Speaker 1: it's just like a regular pink vibator with you. Guys

2500
01:51:18,080 --> 01:51:23,280
Speaker 1: should really do a sex party. No, we're going everybody

2501
01:51:23,360 --> 01:51:28,200
Speaker 1: came out. We fucking everybody. You guys should do like

2502
01:51:28,240 --> 01:51:32,000
Speaker 1: a toy party. No, toy party would be fun. We're

2503
01:51:32,000 --> 01:51:36,160
Speaker 1: gonna find Yeah, she has a line, right, it's gonna

2504
01:51:36,160 --> 01:51:38,479
Speaker 1: be like a weed and sex party. Yeah that was fun.

2505
01:51:38,600 --> 01:51:43,760
Speaker 1: All right, we'll stay tuned. Okay, anyway, let's wrap this up. Okay,

2506
01:51:43,840 --> 01:51:46,040
Speaker 1: we're done. I have to be really badly. Thank you

2507
01:51:46,200 --> 01:51:49,880
Speaker 1: Jessica for coming. You were having me. You're amazing. I

2508
01:51:50,000 --> 01:51:51,920
Speaker 1: love you. I really love what you guys are doing too.

2509
01:51:52,080 --> 01:51:57,080
Speaker 1: So we're in the same tribe. At your baby know

2510
01:51:57,160 --> 01:51:57,519
Speaker 1: you're so.

2511
01:51:57,680 --> 01:51:59,920
Speaker 2: Close and you said that, I said, wow, she looks

2512
01:52:00,080 --> 01:52:02,679
Speaker 2: five minutes and your kid is the same age as No. Yeah,

2513
01:52:02,720 --> 01:52:05,840
Speaker 2: we should get them together and like out. Yeah, I'm down,

2514
01:52:06,080 --> 01:52:07,480
Speaker 2: I'm super down anytime.

2515
01:52:07,680 --> 01:52:10,400
Speaker 1: Please please, she needs she needs more friend.

2516
01:52:10,320 --> 01:52:15,040
Speaker 2: Everybody very nice, happy holiday, not just happy holidays, happy

2517
01:52:15,080 --> 01:52:18,400
Speaker 2: cons and yeah I have a safe holiday out there.

2518
01:52:19,080 --> 01:52:22,080
Speaker 1: And wait, Jessica, will you please tell everybody where to

2519
01:52:22,160 --> 01:52:25,840
Speaker 1: find you? Oh okay, So my website is she Really

2520
01:52:25,880 --> 01:52:28,360
Speaker 1: had a Baby dot com and my instagram is at

2521
01:52:28,520 --> 01:52:31,519
Speaker 1: this is Jessica Rose. So that's where out her latest

2522
01:52:31,640 --> 01:52:34,200
Speaker 1: video yeah, and we'll have another one coming soon too.

2523
01:52:34,960 --> 01:52:40,040
Speaker 1: It'll be off the Meek album. No, not that one.

2524
01:52:41,040 --> 01:52:45,000
Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna post Jessica's video on so you

2525
01:52:45,080 --> 01:52:47,639
Speaker 1: go and see in all its glory. It's so good. Yeah,

2526
01:52:48,439 --> 01:52:52,160
Speaker 1: We're And the song you're about to hear is from Jessica. Yeah,

2527
01:52:52,720 --> 01:52:54,599
Speaker 1: get with it. Thank you guys for having me than

2528
01:52:55,280 --> 01:52:56,559
Speaker 1: all right, guys, well.

2529
01:52:57,760 --> 01:52:59,600
Speaker 2: In the mouth and you might get killed eating in

2530
01:52:59,640 --> 01:53:01,000
Speaker 2: the car, and I know she gonna spill.

2531
01:53:01,600 --> 01:53:04,040
Speaker 1: My life is a mess. Why did I have kids?

2532
01:53:04,320 --> 01:53:05,280
Speaker 1: Board in school is next?

2533
01:53:05,400 --> 01:53:07,320
Speaker 2: I like born and sex, but I can't get no

2534
01:53:07,439 --> 01:53:09,839
Speaker 2: d with her all in my bad Murmie.

2535
01:53:10,080 --> 01:53:12,280
Speaker 1: All I ever really hear is Murmi. I don't get

2536
01:53:12,320 --> 01:53:13,280
Speaker 1: a chance to breathe on them.

2537
01:53:13,760 --> 01:53:16,759
Speaker 2: All my baby really need is a murn baby wipes

2538
01:53:16,800 --> 01:53:17,559
Speaker 2: for the pop.

2539
01:53:18,160 --> 01:53:21,200
Speaker 1: Don't pull on my hoops, baby wipes for the poop.

2540
01:53:21,880 --> 01:53:23,160
Speaker 2: Let go of my hoops.

2541
01:53:23,640 --> 01:53:24,639
Speaker 1: Damn late to class.

2542
01:53:24,960 --> 01:53:27,160
Speaker 2: She didn't take a nap, but now we gotta go ooh,

2543
01:53:27,360 --> 01:53:28,200
Speaker 2: then I almost nap.

2544
01:53:28,600 --> 01:53:30,439
Speaker 1: She really got me mad. She cried on the blow

2545
01:53:31,120 --> 01:53:34,240
Speaker 1: walking through my front door. I'm like, where's my wine?

2546
01:53:34,600 --> 01:53:37,320
Speaker 1: As soon as she get all my nerves not in

2547
01:53:37,400 --> 01:53:37,880
Speaker 1: that time,