Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature feature production of I Heart Radio. I'm
Speaker 1: your host of Many Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology
Speaker 1: and evolutionary biology, and today on the show we're talking turkey.
Speaker 1: It's that time of year when everyone puts a turkey
Speaker 1: inside their mouth. This year, I know a lot of
Speaker 1: you responsible folks are modifying your normal holiday season to
Speaker 1: be safer by staying isolated. But we don't have to
Speaker 1: isolate from turkeys. So I'm gonna invite a whole flock
Speaker 1: of turkeys in your home. We're gonna talk turkey facts,
Speaker 1: turkey romance, turkey history, and alternative turkeys. To discover this
Speaker 1: and more as we answer the age old question, is
Speaker 1: that a snoot on your forehead? Horror? You just have
Speaker 1: you to see me. Joining me today is comedian and
Speaker 1: creator of the Audible original Like Mother, Alison Stevenson. Welcome. Hi.
Speaker 1: I am excited to have you. I've been following you
Speaker 1: on Twitter for a while and you were very funny
Speaker 1: and this is a dream come true. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Thank you. So we are talking about turkeys today. What's
Speaker 1: your relationship with turkeys? You know, not a strong one,
Speaker 1: I'll admit, I never really had like a lot of
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, it's kind of sad, but I
Speaker 1: think everybody's biggest relationship with turkey is Thanksgiving, and I
Speaker 1: never had that many like traditional Thanksgivings growing up. My
Speaker 1: mom's very Jewish, and like she always associated Thanksgiving to
Speaker 1: be like a Christian holiday. She didn't really view it
Speaker 1: as like non denominational, so she'd always be like, why
Speaker 1: would we do that. We're Jewish, Like that's just not
Speaker 1: we don't do Thanksgiving. And so that was kind of
Speaker 1: like the turkey thing, and I didn't really have a
Speaker 1: lot of turkey in my life. I guess as a
Speaker 1: meat as as I would say as a food. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be too controversial here, but I don't
Speaker 1: think it's like the best meat, to be honest, So
Speaker 1: I would agree with that it's really hard to make
Speaker 1: without turning it into chalk. I think it is an
Speaker 1: interesting thing because we have this relationship with turkeys, which
Speaker 1: is there the food animal or sometimes we make pictures
Speaker 1: of them using our hand and trace our hand and
Speaker 1: it's like that's a turkey. But turkeys have a whole
Speaker 1: other life to them that I think is important to know.
Speaker 1: And especially if like we're going to eat them. I
Speaker 1: think I think it's like, you know, it's important to
Speaker 1: know the animal that we that we use, and like
Speaker 1: how important they are and some of the dangers that
Speaker 1: they've faced, and what their lives are. Like, how can
Speaker 1: we have something that we glibally called Turkey Day without
Speaker 1: really getting to know the turkey as individual. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to this whole episode We're gonna talk about turkeys.
Speaker 1: Part one. We're talking about turkey facts, just straight up
Speaker 1: turkey facts about traditional turkeys that we know and love.
Speaker 1: The wild turkeys of America, which I say America not
Speaker 1: because I'm like USA focus, because it is actually from
Speaker 1: the entire continent of America. Wild turkeys evolved over eleven
Speaker 1: million years ago, and the first evidence of domestication was
Speaker 1: around two thousand years ago in Central America, which you know,
Speaker 1: so these these birds have been around a lot longer
Speaker 1: than dumb columnists decided to, like, Hey, let's just do
Speaker 1: a holiday where we put our hands on a piece
Speaker 1: of paper and trace it on construction paper. Right. I
Speaker 1: wonder what a turkey would think looking at a hand
Speaker 1: drawing of the turkey, what their take would be on
Speaker 1: that representation of themselves. I mean, if cartoons are anything
Speaker 1: to go buy, all you need is a little like
Speaker 1: a bow and some long eyelashes, and the male turkeys
Speaker 1: are going to be sexually attracted to it, no matter
Speaker 1: like how shoddily created it is. Uh So. The Latin
Speaker 1: name of the turkey is gallopavo, which means chicken peacock. Oh,
Speaker 1: which look, I think it works. Yeah, yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: If you're not convinced, I think we should look at
Speaker 1: another species of turkey, one that's less less known, which
Speaker 1: is called the oscillated turkey. Now, Alison, I have shared
Speaker 1: with you an image of this turkey. This is a
Speaker 1: turkey that is beautiful, bright vivid colors like iridescent green
Speaker 1: and powder blue, kind of like peacock colors. It's got
Speaker 1: this bright blue head and bright red rings around its
Speaker 1: eyes and these bright orange what are they look like warts?
Speaker 1: They're actually called car uncles. It's like chicken pox chic. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do kind of look like ornamentation because they are
Speaker 1: They're meant to be attractive. So car uncles are fleshy,
Speaker 1: warty growths that you'll find on turkeys. And for the
Speaker 1: oscillated turkey. These bright orange warts on the male's heads
Speaker 1: are sexually attractive to the females, and the brighter they are, uh,
Speaker 1: demonstrates their physical health to the females. I wish this
Speaker 1: is how it was for people, because my acne would
Speaker 1: be super hot, you know that, I I do. I
Speaker 1: genuinely wish that we could get past this idea that like,
Speaker 1: oh acne is like, you know, is an attractive is normal?
Speaker 1: Everyone gets a totally normal yeah. Yeah, And like I'm
Speaker 1: looking at this turkey with these big, bright orange bumps
Speaker 1: all over its face, and I think it's cool. I
Speaker 1: think it's a good look. It is, honestly, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean some some are a little nicer than others, I'll admit, right,
Speaker 1: you have you can have your taste in like turkeys,
Speaker 1: like in which ones you find more attractive, in which
Speaker 1: turkey are more sexually attracted to. Yeah, but even are
Speaker 1: what most people know to be the turkey, So not
Speaker 1: just the oscillated turkey, but the wild turkey found in
Speaker 1: the US and North America. It also has cour uncles,
Speaker 1: so it has, you know, all those bumps all over
Speaker 1: his face, which are also sexually attractive to the females.
Speaker 1: Also a feature of the turkey is the snood. Guess
Speaker 1: what part of the turkey is the snood? Uh? Is
Speaker 1: it that neck thing? E cloe close? The next thing
Speaker 1: is the wattle. So the snood is that like a
Speaker 1: big dangly, foulat like thing that hangs off of its beak.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what I'm talking about. Mm hmmm,
Speaker 1: let me add it. Let me add an actually, let
Speaker 1: me add an actual turkey picture or a North American
Speaker 1: turkey picture. Can I Can I get one Hiras turkey snood? Please?
Speaker 1: Just like one if I had a nickel. Yeah, every
Speaker 1: time I feeing Hiras turkey snood. All right, that was
Speaker 1: an adventure, but I found you the most attractive turkey.
Speaker 1: Whoa yeah goodness. So the snood is that flap of
Speaker 1: skin coming. It looks like it's coming from between its
Speaker 1: eyes and down its beak, and it's just this long,
Speaker 1: pendulous sort of alice of skin and it is You
Speaker 1: were not joking when you said fallus. It looks it
Speaker 1: looks like this turkey's beak is not circumcised. Well, I mean,
Speaker 1: the comparison does not stop there, because these snoods can
Speaker 1: actually become erect so when they know when they are
Speaker 1: sexually excited, it will fill with blood, turn brighter red,
Speaker 1: and become engorged. So you know, a little bit of
Speaker 1: a face wiener. Oh my god. So if you call
Speaker 1: him a dickhead, it's actually a compliment. Yes, that's perfect exactly.
Speaker 1: So the longer the snood, the healthier the male in general,
Speaker 1: which is, you know, I mean what I like to
Speaker 1: think as well. Yeah, sure, I'm sorry man, but if
Speaker 1: you don't got a snood, uh you snoo? Do you
Speaker 1: lose no snood, no mood. So in addition to the
Speaker 1: snoode to attract females is the wattle. So the wattle
Speaker 1: is that gathering of bare flesh at the turkey's neck,
Speaker 1: that just brilliant red globular beard of wrinkled flesh. And
Speaker 1: the lady turkeys love it. It's just so attractive to them.
Speaker 1: You see a guy with a good beard, it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: that's nice. I like that beard. It's nice beard. But
Speaker 1: just imagine that but smell it out of flesh. It's
Speaker 1: like if a beard and a ball sack were became one.
Speaker 1: It's a bits, it's a bit scrotal, it is a
Speaker 1: bit scrotal. I will admit that it's typically bright red
Speaker 1: and scarlet. Uh, and it gets brighter and redder when
Speaker 1: the males are trying to attract a mate, So that's cool.
Speaker 1: Wattles also have over just sort of their sexual function.
Speaker 1: They also helped cool the birds down by creating some
Speaker 1: bear skin surface area where heat can dissipate. So you know,
Speaker 1: just kind of like I just got to air out
Speaker 1: your wattle to stay cool in the heat. I know,
Speaker 1: I do that. Yeah, Yeah, I can do. I can
Speaker 1: get a wattle sometimes if I just gotta just like
Speaker 1: if you hold your neck back, yeah, you know, like
Speaker 1: there's that little thing my chin is just like a
Speaker 1: little too relaxed, my wattle, my bottles showing. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: here's another cool turkey fact. If you thought you could
Speaker 1: escape the podcast without learning about turkey poop, you were wrong.
Speaker 1: So turkey poops come in hymns and hers, So female
Speaker 1: turkey poops come in curly spiral shapes. Male poops come
Speaker 1: in long strands or fish hook shapes. So so male
Speaker 1: and female turkeys are pretty sexually dimorphic, like female turkeys
Speaker 1: are brown or they don't have all these like weird
Speaker 1: erectile snoods and and super red and gorged wattles. But
Speaker 1: so you can like tell them apart. But if you
Speaker 1: really want to tell the birds apart just by their
Speaker 1: poop alone, you can't. Congratulations you find you find curly poops,
Speaker 1: it's a female. You find long poops, it's a male.
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe you're about to go into it. But
Speaker 1: why how is it? What? How does that? Why? Well,
Speaker 1: it is due to the shape of the cloaca. So birds,
Speaker 1: they got cloaca. It's the whole that does it all.
Speaker 1: So both males and females have a cloaca that they
Speaker 1: use for sex, peeping and pooping. Female turkeys lay eggs,
Speaker 1: so their cloaca is stretchier and when they poop it
Speaker 1: a lot because their cloaca kind of stretches out. It
Speaker 1: allows the poop to clump into little spirals, whereas males
Speaker 1: have narrower, less stretchy cloacas because they do not lay eggs.
Speaker 1: And also their penis takes up a good amount of
Speaker 1: space when she's in the cloaca, because like you know,
Speaker 1: male birds, they do have penises, but they're like tucked
Speaker 1: in the cloaca unless they're having sex. So yeah, so
Speaker 1: like because there there's basically max capacity in the cloaca,
Speaker 1: and so when you have only when you have one
Speaker 1: hole that does it all, it is efficient, but storage
Speaker 1: can be an issue, right, So basically their poop comes
Speaker 1: out a lot narrower and straighter because it's being squeezed
Speaker 1: out of a tighter cranny. I'm so glad I know
Speaker 1: this really very welcome. Welcome to the show, Elise. In
Speaker 1: your first creature feature, yeah, no, was a wonderful way
Speaker 1: to bed. Yes, yeah, it's a cloaca. A cloaca all
Speaker 1: birds got them. It's the it's the magical hole that
Speaker 1: does it all. I love. It's like a sales pitch.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, and it's like it's not just birds, it's reptiles.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's uh, you know, we are actually mammals
Speaker 1: are kind of weird for having more than one hole,
Speaker 1: if you think about it. I've always thought that, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, though we got too many, too many got
Speaker 1: a consolidate. A myth about turkeys is that they are
Speaker 1: flightless birds because they look like they shouldn't fly. Right there,
Speaker 1: these big chunky things with like weird snoods and wattles
Speaker 1: just going around. But they can actually fly, so and
Speaker 1: they can also run and swim, so these are like
Speaker 1: bird athletes. Yes, so they can fly up to fifty
Speaker 1: aisles per hour, which is about eighty kilometers per hour.
Speaker 1: They only fly for short distances. They don't do long
Speaker 1: distance flying that much, but they can. They can fly
Speaker 1: like a little while. Yeah, like for a few minutes.
Speaker 1: That's pretty fast. Yeah. Yeah. They can also run up
Speaker 1: to twelve miles per hour, which is about nineteen kilometers
Speaker 1: per hour, which I think is probably more than me,
Speaker 1: which is bad news if I'm faced with a turkey, Um,
Speaker 1: if you have to race one, right or escape one.
Speaker 1: And you're also not going to be safe if you
Speaker 1: try to escape a turkey by diving into a lake,
Speaker 1: because turkeys can swim by folding their wings and kicking
Speaker 1: their back legs. So like I never knew that. I
Speaker 1: always thought of them as pretty defenseless animals, right, Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: they We're going to talk about it later, but they
Speaker 1: are certainly not defenseless. Uh. In fact, yeah, it's some
Speaker 1: people share areas with wild turkeys probably know how aggressive
Speaker 1: they can be and frankly kind of scary because you know,
Speaker 1: like you think about when you have a whole turkey, right,
Speaker 1: like the big, big Thanksgiving turkey. I mean that usually
Speaker 1: comes from a pretty young turkey and it's huge. Like now,
Speaker 1: imagine that covered in feathers, with the head and legs
Speaker 1: attached with a wattle and a wattle and just like
Speaker 1: quivering with anger. So before we go to break, I
Speaker 1: do want to play some turkey sounds, because of course
Speaker 1: we know the classic turkey gobble, which I wish I
Speaker 1: could do a good turkey gobble. Unfortunately, I'm actually really
Speaker 1: bad at doing bird sounds. I know, it's like in
Speaker 1: congruent with my brand is like a bird lover, but
Speaker 1: I just can't. I'm I can't do human accents and
Speaker 1: I can't do bird sounds. That it it's uh, it's
Speaker 1: really cramping my style, both as a comedian and as
Speaker 1: a bird lover. So it's like, oh, you're a bird
Speaker 1: lover who's a comedian, but you can't do accents and
Speaker 1: you can't do bird sounds. Well, all right, but here's
Speaker 1: I think this is their classic sound, classic turkey gobble,
Speaker 1: but they also do other sounds. They do purrs, they
Speaker 1: do klucks. Here's a sound. I think this one's a
Speaker 1: pearl and to make sure they're angry little kittens. That
Speaker 1: does seem like a hard in your defense, it's a
Speaker 1: difficult sound to imitate. Yeah, like the throat work involved. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have a wattle and I don't have a snood.
Speaker 1: And then this is another call. It's I think we're
Speaker 1: starting to get into like Jurassic Park noises and it
Speaker 1: rhins you like, yeah, these are dinosaurs. They're literally I
Speaker 1: mean birds are literally dinosaurs. We know the whole turkey
Speaker 1: like gobble noise. But then once they start making these
Speaker 1: chirps and weird sort of dinosaur like noises like oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're dinosaurs that we just pretend that are never going
Speaker 1: to rise against us. And here's an alarm call. A
Speaker 1: little underwhelming. I have to say. It's like when I
Speaker 1: thought of a turkey alarm call, I'd think like basically
Speaker 1: a car alarm screaming at me. Very subdued. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just sort of like a yeah, before we go
Speaker 1: to break, I'm gonna try to do a turkey lovel
Speaker 1: But then you also have to try to do one too.
Speaker 1: That is that fair? I'll you know, I'll give it
Speaker 1: a shot. Yeah, Okay, I mean no judgment, like, I'm
Speaker 1: not mine is not gonna be that great either. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to create a wattle for myself and
Speaker 1: like grab my throat skin. Okay, okay, I'm gonna steal
Speaker 1: your method. Okay, step a shot. What like you? That
Speaker 1: was good? Guys, I feel like that's better than mine.
Speaker 1: Let me let me try mine again. No, no, no no, no,
Speaker 1: little yeah, yeah, getting the If I get the tongue
Speaker 1: action in there with it, it starts to sound a
Speaker 1: little better, like, oh oh that was good. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: pretty good. I feel like we're gonna start attracting turkeys
Speaker 1: to us. My window just forced turkey to show up.
Speaker 1: You look out correct, onto a horny turkeys. I mean,
Speaker 1: at this point, I've been pretty sure I've had no
Speaker 1: action for eight months. They say we have to be
Speaker 1: isolated from other humans, not from turkey. The dating tip
Speaker 1: from Creature feature. Needless to say, our relationship to turkeys
Speaker 1: has been complicated. We love turkeys, we love to eat them,
Speaker 1: and we nearly drove them to extinction in North America.
Speaker 1: It wasn't until the nineteenth century, however, that they became
Speaker 1: associated with the holidays. Before then, pork was a more
Speaker 1: popular holiday food as it was a more rare source
Speaker 1: of meat, whereas turkey were eaten year round too great consequences,
Speaker 1: as we will soon discuss. Allison, have you heard that
Speaker 1: story about how Benjamin Franklin wanted the official United States
Speaker 1: bird to be a turkey? I don't think I have.
Speaker 1: So there is this story that, well, like I said,
Speaker 1: Benjamin Franklin wanted the official USA bird to be the
Speaker 1: turkey instead of the bald eagle. And it is the
Speaker 1: ideas taken from this quote from Benjamin Franklin himself, where
Speaker 1: he says, for my own part, I wish the bald
Speaker 1: eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country.
Speaker 1: He is a bird of bad moral character. He does
Speaker 1: not get his living honestly, for in truth, the turkey is,
Speaker 1: in comparison, a much more respectable bird and with all,
Speaker 1: a true original native of America. So um, I think,
Speaker 1: like I read this thing about like how true was it?
Speaker 1: Like was he really a champion of the turkey to
Speaker 1: be the symbol of America? And it's unclear. I think
Speaker 1: like he did genuinely dig the turkey as a symbol.
Speaker 1: I don't think he was he didn't run like a
Speaker 1: super hard campaign against the bald eagle as the symbol.
Speaker 1: But really what the actual story is actually really interesting
Speaker 1: because the reason he lashed out at the eagle was
Speaker 1: the bald eagle was being used symbolically amongst these like
Speaker 1: nouveaux aristocrats in early America that Benjamin Franklin really disliked strongly.
Speaker 1: So the Society of Cincinnati, a group of officers serving
Speaker 1: under George Washington in seventeen eighty three, wanted to establish
Speaker 1: a nepotistic hereditary order of merit passed patrilineally from oldest
Speaker 1: son to oldest son, and they wanted the eagle to
Speaker 1: serve as their symbol. And Benjamin Franklin scoffed at them
Speaker 1: for being an aristocratic institution and for like to symbolism,
Speaker 1: and like he really bristled at all that, and great,
Speaker 1: so we never did it again. Oh man, this is
Speaker 1: making me right. I mean, to be fair, I think
Speaker 1: bald eagles are super cool. There's a lot of gender parody.
Speaker 1: Like they when they're selecting a mate, they both compete
Speaker 1: for each other, and then they as they're flying in
Speaker 1: the air once they've found a mate, they think they
Speaker 1: like they lock claws together and go into a death
Speaker 1: spiral towards the ground to make sure that each one
Speaker 1: of them is like metal enough to truly be their partner.
Speaker 1: And then they are monogamous. So it's like it's really cute.
Speaker 1: So it's nothing like being a woman dating in her twice.
Speaker 1: The turkeys whole system is a little different from the
Speaker 1: bald eagle. Like, I am going to talk about turkey romance,
Speaker 1: so do not worry. I know everyone's like holding her breath, like,
Speaker 1: please please talk about the sex lives of turkeys. If
Speaker 1: you do not, I will never listen to your podcast again. Um,
Speaker 1: but no, we will talk about the sex lives of turkeys,
Speaker 1: So please do not leave me an angry review. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so I think it is interesting that Benjamin Franklin was like,
Speaker 1: we should have the turkey? Is this down to earth symbol?
Speaker 1: Like he was kind of worried about the symbol of
Speaker 1: the eagle being used to like pump up the the
Speaker 1: egos of nepotistic sort of aristocratic institution. I think he
Speaker 1: was right, yeah, but of course we don't have that
Speaker 1: problem in America, do we. First it's like wait a minute,
Speaker 1: it's like everything's coming together. All the woods are connecting, like,
Speaker 1: oh my, this is how Trump happened. Oh yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: yeah because of the eagle. I do wonder like if
Speaker 1: the psychology of America would have been different had the
Speaker 1: turkey been our national symbol right like like could have been.
Speaker 1: Would we have started so many wars if we are
Speaker 1: national symbol? Was the humble turkey? I never thought so.
Speaker 1: I honestly don't think so. I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: it would have kind of been like a little more
Speaker 1: humble and a little more like, hey, you know what,
Speaker 1: we don't have to be badass. Having warts on her
Speaker 1: face is fine, like, you know, just like a little
Speaker 1: more chill. We would be a much better society, I think.
Speaker 1: I think so giving. I think so Thanksgiving every day.
Speaker 1: We would decimate the turkey population. Actually we almost did,
Speaker 1: which we'll talk about right now. Actually perfect wild turkeys
Speaker 1: in the US were almost hunted to extinction at one point.
Speaker 1: Another thing I think people are not aware of. They
Speaker 1: had been driven to extirpation, which is like a local extinction.
Speaker 1: So when an animal is driven out of an area
Speaker 1: and no longer found there, but it still exists in
Speaker 1: other locations Like that, is called extirpation. So this happened
Speaker 1: in Connecticut and Vermont in the early eighteen hundreds, and
Speaker 1: by the nineteen thirties they were extirpated in eighteen states
Speaker 1: and their population was down to two percent of its
Speaker 1: original size, from ten million wild turkeys to only two
Speaker 1: hundred thousand. Due to hunting regulations starting in the nineteen
Speaker 1: forties to fifties and conservation efforts where conservationists would release
Speaker 1: wild birds into areas that they had been driven out of.
Speaker 1: Their population is starting to recover and actually has partially recovered.
Speaker 1: Now there are about six million wild turkeys in the US,
Speaker 1: so that's a bit of a conservation success story. I
Speaker 1: mean it's far like we still haven't reached ten million
Speaker 1: turkeys for the turkey reckoning to happen, but we're almost
Speaker 1: Is that the number that needs to be met for
Speaker 1: the turkeys to critical turkey math for the uprising? And I,
Speaker 1: for one, welcome it. Yeah, yeah, it would be another
Speaker 1: thing on the if it happened. Ye, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: I feel like humans had our shots to run society.
Speaker 1: I'm ready for turkeys to run our society for us.
Speaker 1: I love the idea of dinosaurs coming back to be
Speaker 1: in charge of earth. It's it's just turkeys and chickens.
Speaker 1: I know joke was thinking about running a D and
Speaker 1: D campaign like that. I may still do it, so
Speaker 1: we'll see. Uh. Speaking of turkeys getting their revenge in Massachusetts,
Speaker 1: there is revenge of the turkeys, revenge of the TURKEI yeah,
Speaker 1: that sounds right, that sounds star wars. Star wars with turkeys.
Speaker 1: Turkeys can be very let's say, assert of Some might
Speaker 1: call it aggressive. I would say confident. Male turkeys have
Speaker 1: a social hierarchy that they established through acts of dominance.
Speaker 1: So like you may have heard of a pecking order,
Speaker 1: this is essentially what that is. So typically you have
Speaker 1: a group of male turkeys called gobblers. Sorry trying to
Speaker 1: have a serious discussion about turkey hierarchy. And like the
Speaker 1: male turkeys called gobblers associate in familial groups, amongst which
Speaker 1: there is one dominant gobbler. Their nature documentary like that
Speaker 1: our new Attenborough. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I want to hear
Speaker 1: Attenborough say gobblin the beautiful side of the magnificent Gobblin.
Speaker 1: So the dominant male is the most successful at mating,
Speaker 1: whereas the less dominant males are basically waiting for their
Speaker 1: chance to become the top turkey at some point. So
Speaker 1: by coming together, actually, these groups of related turkeys have
Speaker 1: a better chance at passing on their genes than when
Speaker 1: they are just working alone. Females also have a social hierarchy,
Speaker 1: but unlike the males, where their social hierarchy is constantly changing,
Speaker 1: like someone's going to be on top the next day,
Speaker 1: the other person is on the bottom, which is how
Speaker 1: I imagine like Real Housewive was never watched the show,
Speaker 1: but I assume it's similar to male turkeys, like fighting
Speaker 1: for dominance, where it's like one week, it's pretty accurate, right,
Speaker 1: one week, Bethany's on top of the next week, Cheryl
Speaker 1: Bethany is the only name I know from the show.
Speaker 1: I've seen a few different ones, and you're pretty accurate.
Speaker 1: Is there a Cheryl Sharon there, Megan, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: it's Sharon Tiffin al Tiffin. Al Tiffin als very controversial.
Speaker 1: She's she says what's on her mind, no matter what. Now. Essentially,
Speaker 1: male turkeys have like a reality show of turkey dominance,
Speaker 1: whereas female turkeys they'll establish something of a pecking order,
Speaker 1: but it's very stable, like they don't have to kind
Speaker 1: of like fight for dominance as much because, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: they get to there will be multiple female turkeys mating
Speaker 1: with one dominant male. However, when interact with humans, they
Speaker 1: feel the need to bully us into submission. So if
Speaker 1: you have ever encountered wild turkeys, you may know that
Speaker 1: they can be quite aggressive, quite assertive, and you know,
Speaker 1: always trying to fight. Hold my wattle, Hold my wattle.
Speaker 1: He's like flipping his snood back over his shoulder so
Speaker 1: he can fight you. Animal Control suggests that when you
Speaker 1: are interacting with wild turkeys, which try not to. First
Speaker 1: of all, I think that's like the number one try.
Speaker 1: Try not interacting with wild turkeys is number one. But
Speaker 1: if you find yourself interacting with wild turkeys, be confident
Speaker 1: around aggressive turkeys, make loud noises and assertive movements, and
Speaker 1: never turn your back on a turkey. Don't do it.
Speaker 1: First of all, you're joining the mob or something. First
Speaker 1: of all, they are going to immediately say mean things
Speaker 1: about you the minute you're back is turned, and they'll
Speaker 1: possibly attack you. In Brookline, Massachusetts, there was a typo
Speaker 1: on the town's website where they wrote quote being aggressive
Speaker 1: towards wild turkeys is recommended by state wildlife officials. They
Speaker 1: meant to write quote being aggressive towards wild turkeys is
Speaker 1: not recommended by state wild officials. Before like a little
Speaker 1: while there, everyone in the town of Brookline, Massachusetts is like,
Speaker 1: all right, it's on. It's God, especially in Massachusetts. I
Speaker 1: could see so many drunk men trying to fight turkeys.
Speaker 1: Want to go with me? Turkey, you want to go
Speaker 1: with me? Really? Pocket turkey button Havid Yad. Yeah, there
Speaker 1: you go. That's not bad. That's a pretty good accent.
Speaker 1: I spent some time there. While it is not suggested
Speaker 1: that you'd be aggressive towards the turkey, do not be
Speaker 1: the instigator, but if the turkey starts a fight with you,
Speaker 1: be bold, make loud noises. Just don't try to find
Speaker 1: the turkey, you know, try to deescalate with the turkey,
Speaker 1: like turkey, listen, bro, calm down, think about it, think
Speaker 1: about what you're doing. Man. Yeah, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1: And you know, it encourages knowing the difference between being
Speaker 1: assertive and being an asshole, Like yeah, exactly. You can
Speaker 1: say what's on your mind and not be me right,
Speaker 1: you don't. You can stand up for yourself with a turkey,
Speaker 1: but you don't have to escalate the situation with a turkey. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I like that. I feel like turkeys should be like
Speaker 1: in these corporate sort of conventions or something where they're
Speaker 1: doing workshops on how to turn your back on me.
Speaker 1: Number one, that's number one. Number two, closers get corn.
Speaker 1: Corn corn is only for closers. Number three, number three,
Speaker 1: make sure snoods snoods out always have big big snoot energy.
Speaker 1: I want to see energy. Tony Robbins kind of figure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Turkey Robbins gobbling is good. The presidential pardoning of a
Speaker 1: turkey may seem like a strange tradition, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: always that way. Since ninety seven, the National Turkey Federation
Speaker 1: has presented a turkey to the president not to pardon,
Speaker 1: but to slaughter and eat. It was only until nine
Speaker 1: when the tradition of officially pardoning a turkey began. However,
Speaker 1: before then, Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, and jfk All informally
Speaker 1: pardoned their turkeys, sending them to petting zoos. Of course,
Speaker 1: the official pardoning of turkeys raises the question did all
Speaker 1: those other turkeys get railroaded? When we return, we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about a weird alternative turkey you may have
Speaker 1: never heard of unless you live in Australia. There are
Speaker 1: only two species of actual turkey, the wild North American
Speaker 1: turkey and the oscillated turkey found in Mexico. Oscillated turkeys
Speaker 1: were domesticated in ancient Mexico and were and still are
Speaker 1: a common food in the region. Oscillated turkeys are remarkably
Speaker 1: similar to their North American cousins, other than they're more
Speaker 1: vibrant appearance. They also have a slightly more distinct gobble
Speaker 1: sounding something like this. But to find a truly strange
Speaker 1: so called turkey, we have to travel to Australia. Alright,
Speaker 1: So a lot of people you don't You don't want
Speaker 1: to just go with a conventional thing, right, like the
Speaker 1: conventional turkey. You want an alternative turkey, al turkey. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk about an alternative turkey for you guys
Speaker 1: to enjoy, not to eat, I don't think, but to
Speaker 1: enjoy visually. What is we only eat one kind of
Speaker 1: turkey we eat well, no, I don't think so, I
Speaker 1: mean like, we eat mostly domesticated, farmed turkeys and they
Speaker 1: actually can look different from wild turkeys. We do eat
Speaker 1: wild turkeys, so wild turkeys are hunted and eaten a
Speaker 1: lot of the like of course, like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of regulations around that, Like I said, like they were
Speaker 1: almost hunted to extinction in the US, but now you
Speaker 1: can still, I think, hunt for wild turkeys as long
Speaker 1: as it's it's regulated and you get a license for
Speaker 1: it and there's like a bag limit. But turkeys are
Speaker 1: also farmed, and actually farmed turkeys do not look like
Speaker 1: wild turkeys. They actually have white feathers. And this is
Speaker 1: so when the farmed turkeys are plucked, if they leave
Speaker 1: feathers on, it doesn't look as bad like when you
Speaker 1: like basically the white turkey pin feathers are less visible
Speaker 1: on a turkey carcass, so for consumers it's like less alarming, like, hey,
Speaker 1: this used to be a bird. I wasn't expecting that
Speaker 1: with the feathers. Actually, that's why in our bizarre edition
Speaker 1: of Pardoning a turkey, like that turkey it tends to
Speaker 1: have white feathers. It's it doesn't look like the basically
Speaker 1: the colorful traditional turkey you think of, because that's what
Speaker 1: a farmed turkey looks like interesting, But if you just
Speaker 1: want an alternative turkey to kind of rock to, you know,
Speaker 1: like I want to talk about the Australian brush turkey
Speaker 1: also known as the bush turkey, also known as the
Speaker 1: scrub turkey, which just makes me think of like a
Speaker 1: a scrubs turkey. Yeah, Zach Braff and Donald's place on
Speaker 1: like as turkeys, I thought of TLC no scrubs mmmmmmmmm.
Speaker 1: I thought of a turkey who thinks he's fly mm hmmmm.
Speaker 1: I mean these turkeys are a little fly, if I
Speaker 1: might say so myself. So these are found in the
Speaker 1: forests of eastern Australia. They are beautiful birds with black feathers,
Speaker 1: red bare faces and necks, and males have a bright
Speaker 1: yellow scarf at the base of their neck, which is
Speaker 1: it's made out of skin. I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 1: It's a big flap of wrinkly yellow skin. Uh. This
Speaker 1: is the wattle for these birds. But it looks like
Speaker 1: a fetching scarf to me, like a silk scarf. It does.
Speaker 1: It is very or like a boa like it's like
Speaker 1: a it's like a weird reverse boa because like the
Speaker 1: rest of the birds are covered in feathers except the
Speaker 1: neck part, which looks kind of like a boa, which
Speaker 1: doesn't actually have any feathers on it. It's just skin.
Speaker 1: So it's like an inver, it's a skin boa. It's
Speaker 1: like a nice little statement piece. Yes, exactly. These wattles
Speaker 1: become even brighter during mating season and they swing from
Speaker 1: side to side as the as these birds kind of
Speaker 1: like jog around, um, which just I love the visual,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a statement. Yeah, yeah, it's a powerful,
Speaker 1: powerful look. These birds kind of like their feathers are black,
Speaker 1: so it's sort of like formal from the neck down
Speaker 1: and then from the neck up it is it is glam. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do seem a little more subtle. They're a little
Speaker 1: more like a classic sort of yeah, sort of like
Speaker 1: a theater person who's like got sort of a kerchief, uh,
Speaker 1: in a in a in a nice blazer. Definitely. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So while these are called turkeys, they're actually not super
Speaker 1: closely related to the turkeys found in America, including both
Speaker 1: the wild turkey of um North America and the oscillated turkey,
Speaker 1: which is found in Mexico. But these turkeys, so they're
Speaker 1: in the same order as turkeys phylogenetically, so Galliforms is
Speaker 1: the order that contains turkey, ease chickens, pheasants, quails, partridges, peacocks,
Speaker 1: and a lot of other ground feeding bird species. Turkeys
Speaker 1: are in their own family, so like our wild turkey,
Speaker 1: affilated turkeys are in their own family, um, whereas these
Speaker 1: Australian bush turkeys are in a different family, so they're
Speaker 1: not that close to you related there, Like the wild
Speaker 1: turkey in America is as closely related to a quail,
Speaker 1: actually more closely related to a quail than they are
Speaker 1: to the Australian bush turkey. Would it be like a
Speaker 1: brother in law sort of relation, Like yeah, maybe, like
Speaker 1: sort of like a second cousin twice removed that you
Speaker 1: see like once every other year. And like your Facebook friends,
Speaker 1: but you don't you know, really talk and interact that
Speaker 1: much on Facebook. And you're pretty sure they only like
Speaker 1: message you on your birthday because Facebook sent them a
Speaker 1: reminder and they click the button that like does the
Speaker 1: automatic birthday message right, no personaliz, just happy birthday right
Speaker 1: right exactly, And like they've said l O L to
Speaker 1: one of your posts in five years. Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 1: That's like their relationship okay, okay. But despite the Australian
Speaker 1: brush turkey not being a true turkey, I suppose they
Speaker 1: do look a bit like a turkey. They have this
Speaker 1: similar body shape. They're actually a bit smaller, actually quite
Speaker 1: a bit smaller than the wild turkey, a little over
Speaker 1: half as big. But one of the cool things about
Speaker 1: these turkeys is their turkey society, which to me is
Speaker 1: way cooler than the American turkey society. So Australian brush
Speaker 1: turkeys play a Turkey version of Game of Thrones. So
Speaker 1: a dominant male will build a huge turkey castle, which
Speaker 1: is actually just a giant mound of leaves, earth and
Speaker 1: other forest materials, like just basically a compost heap, which
Speaker 1: is like the turkey throne. And these turkey thrones can
Speaker 1: reach up to five ft high which is about one
Speaker 1: point five meters, and thirteen ft wide which is about
Speaker 1: four meters. And if you have a big pile of
Speaker 1: a big turkey mound, big turkey throne, females will love
Speaker 1: you and they will flock to the turkey mound to
Speaker 1: mate and lay their eggs in the mound. So in
Speaker 1: the game of turkey mounds, you when or you don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: fly that also feels very real housewives, like whoever has
Speaker 1: the biggest mansion wins, right thing, Yeah, exactly right. Turkey cribs,
Speaker 1: Turkey cribs. There we go. He's just like, this is
Speaker 1: where the magic happened, and it's a pile leaves exactly
Speaker 1: exactly so. Because building the mound is so time and
Speaker 1: energy consuming, and he must defeat constant challengers to his throne.
Speaker 1: Fighting off rival males, the dominant male only has a
Speaker 1: short rain over his royal pile of sticks and leaves
Speaker 1: and dirt before he will be overthrown by a younger,
Speaker 1: stronger turkey who will take over the mound, possibly add
Speaker 1: to it, build it up. So you just have this like,
Speaker 1: you know, constant like fight for power. Turkey's taking over
Speaker 1: Turkey KU's I'm sorry, it's it's I didn't mean to like,
Speaker 1: it's not a joke. It's like an actual turkey coup.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not not not being well, no, I'm
Speaker 1: not being topical. I'm not trying to make a pun
Speaker 1: about turkeys going coup because they don't really. Oh but
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to, so just to nor that it's fine.
Speaker 1: So these compost heaps, which the turkeys love, are actually
Speaker 1: really good for their eggs. So females will lay their
Speaker 1: eggs within the mound and cover them up. And actually,
Speaker 1: because it's a basically compost heap, the temperature inside the
Speaker 1: mound is a little bit warm and that helps incubate
Speaker 1: the eggs. The turkeys will actually test the temperature of
Speaker 1: the compost heap with their beaks and if it's like
Speaker 1: two cold, they will add more twigs and leaf and
Speaker 1: dirt and stuff to keep their eggs warmer. And there
Speaker 1: can be several females all using the same mound and
Speaker 1: they can lay up to collectively lay up to like
Speaker 1: almost fifty eggs within a mound. So yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the big old, big old nursery. And of course like
Speaker 1: for predators who love eggs, this is like an amazing
Speaker 1: place to try to scavenge for eggs, right, well, like
Speaker 1: right the sizzler for Goanna's. Goannas are large lizards that
Speaker 1: are found in Australia. Um. Some species can reach up
Speaker 1: to almost seven feet which is two ms in length.
Speaker 1: They are quite big, they are carnivorous. They love to
Speaker 1: eat eggs. Uh do you did you ever watch that
Speaker 1: movie The Rescuers down Under. I I think I did.
Speaker 1: I don't remember it very well, with the little mice
Speaker 1: and the kids sidnapped by a poacher and an eagle,
Speaker 1: a giant eagle that carries the kid around. And I
Speaker 1: always wished when I was a kid that a giant
Speaker 1: eagle would carry me around, but it never happened, so
Speaker 1: my dreams are crushed. You might be thankful for that now,
Speaker 1: knowing what eagles are capable of. I wanted to do
Speaker 1: a death spiral with the eagle Elison. Okay, okay, understandable.
Speaker 1: There was this lizard that was like the pet of
Speaker 1: the poacher, and he would call this lizard the go anna,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was just like the name that
Speaker 1: he called this lizard. But it's actually the name of
Speaker 1: the type of lizard that it is. There's a bunch
Speaker 1: of species of goannas and they are big, old, big
Speaker 1: old lizards. I think they're kind of cute. Any naming
Speaker 1: your dog dog, yeah, or even like more like naming
Speaker 1: your dog canine, like even more generic than that. It's
Speaker 1: not even a specific species of go ona, just like, hey, canine,
Speaker 1: whoa yeah? Interesting, Well it is a it is a
Speaker 1: it is like a direct direct to VHS Disney movie.
Speaker 1: So what you say, Um, so go on, as we'll
Speaker 1: try to get some of these eggs. And it seems like,
Speaker 1: you know, like these pretty not like huge birds, smaller
Speaker 1: than a turkey. Like, what's the problem. Well, the brush
Speaker 1: turkeys are extremely aggressive and they will completely go ham
Speaker 1: on anyone trying to take their eggs. And there are
Speaker 1: go ho is that actually have severe injuries that are
Speaker 1: found like with all these scars because of the brush
Speaker 1: turkeys just mercilessly pecking the hell out of them because
Speaker 1: they try to steal their eggs. So yeah, it's um,
Speaker 1: I think we have come to basically the moral of
Speaker 1: the episode, which is don't work with turkeys. I believe that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is uh yeah. If you if you learn one
Speaker 1: thing from this podcast, it's don't don't screw around with turkeys,
Speaker 1: do you not? No, No, it's just not It's not
Speaker 1: a situation you want to be in. You don't want
Speaker 1: to put yourself in the situation of having to talk
Speaker 1: down a turkey that is about to attack you. Hot
Speaker 1: headed right right, Yeah, any questions, Well, I know not
Speaker 1: to funk with turkeys, So that's good. The main point,
Speaker 1: I guess if I Okay, there was one thing that
Speaker 1: I was wondering about when you're talking about the eggs.
Speaker 1: Could they be eating like chicken eggs? Sure? Maybe, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. Actually, people do eat turkey eggs. I
Speaker 1: don't know about probably brush turkey eggs. That happens sometimes.
Speaker 1: You know, they could be used as sort of like
Speaker 1: a local, local food source. I'm not I'm not too
Speaker 1: certain about it, but it seems as long as you
Speaker 1: don't get packed to death by them. Yeah, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: any bird egg can be eaten like a chicken egg
Speaker 1: because they all start out with really yeah, yeah, ostrich
Speaker 1: egg you can. You can make a giant omelet if
Speaker 1: you want. From from a quail egg to an ostrich egg,
Speaker 1: you can make an omelet. That's true. Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: had quail egg and that's pretty wonder With the hummingbird egg,
Speaker 1: I feel like you if you had to make an
Speaker 1: omelet with an hummingbird egg, you would need to do
Speaker 1: it over like a tea tea light candle, like a lighter,
Speaker 1: put it in a spoon like like over a lighter,
Speaker 1: make a tiny hummingbird omelet. Don't eat hummingbird eggs, you
Speaker 1: guys don't do it. There's sweet and cute, but I
Speaker 1: honestly I'd kind of like to see somebody try, just
Speaker 1: because I'd like to see an episode of Like Hell's
Speaker 1: Kitchen where they have to cook an omelet with an
Speaker 1: ostrich egg and then a hummingbird egg, and then Gordon
Speaker 1: Ramsey just like brates them endlessly. Yeah, I would watch that. Well,
Speaker 1: I think we've cracked the case on turkeys, don't you.
Speaker 1: I think so too. Yeah, and I've learned a lot. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining me on my My
Speaker 1: Turkey episode special? Where can people find You? Where can
Speaker 1: the Turkeys find you? Any hot eligible angle turkeys you
Speaker 1: want to find me, I'm on Twitter at just about
Speaker 1: glad uh. And also you have an audible original, right
Speaker 1: you want to talk a little bit about the Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wrote it and it's on Audible right now. It's
Speaker 1: called Like Mother, and it's a scripted podcast loosely semi
Speaker 1: autobiographical based on my relationship with my mother, and it
Speaker 1: stars me and Susie Esman of Curb Muenthsiasm. So pretty exciting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is exciting. And you can find us on the
Speaker 1: internet at Creature Future Pod on Instagram at Creature feet
Speaker 1: Pot on Twitter. That's f E A T not f
Speaker 1: ET has something very different. You can find me on
Speaker 1: Twitter at Katie Golden kat I E G O L
Speaker 1: d I N. You know, just for Katie thoughts. Not
Speaker 1: always about animals, but sometimes about animals. Sometimes I do
Speaker 1: threads where I roast your pets, so you know, look
Speaker 1: out for that. If you want to directly send me
Speaker 1: a picture of your pet or question for the podcast
Speaker 1: or episode idea or whatever, you can email me at
Speaker 1: Creature Feature Pod at gmail dot com. Yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: guys so much for listening. I really appreciate it. I
Speaker 1: hope everyone is staying safe. Try to, you know, keep
Speaker 1: it safe this holiday season. You know, like COVID is
Speaker 1: still out there, it's still still lurking. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: just just try try to try to keep it safe,
Speaker 1: keep it tight. He's just personal. Consider just ordering pizza
Speaker 1: and college. Yeah, save a turkey, order a pizza. Thank
Speaker 1: you to the Space Classics for their super awesome song Excelumina.
Speaker 1: Creature Feature is a production of I Heart Radio. For
Speaker 1: a more podcast like the one you just heard, visit
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app Apple podcast or Hey Guess
Speaker 1: what Wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you
Speaker 1: next Wednesday. It's just one more and maybe one more.
Speaker 1: Turkey go walking on it. Canna be thusty. That's good.
Speaker 1: H