1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know, 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 1: it could be yours. It could be yours. Buggle up 8 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got it for you. Here 9 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you nephew. Subject. It was 10 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 1: all recorded on her iPad. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a 11 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: thirty eight year old married woman. This is my second 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: marriage and my husband's first marriage. I have a twenty 13 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: one year old child and an eighteen year old child, 14 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: but I felt obligated to have a child with my 15 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: husband because he didn't have any kids. We've been married 16 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: four years and we have a three year old daughter. 17 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: He used to be my world, but now my children 18 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: are my world. After my daughter's iPad exposed my husband 19 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: as a cheater, it was caught on videos, so there's 20 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: no way he can make me believe what I heard 21 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: was not what I heard. My husband runs a tax 22 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: prep business and he does the payroll for his brother's business. 23 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: His office is down in our basement, so our daughter 24 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: stays home with him every day. It has saved money 25 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: on daycare, so we have a tutor come by two 26 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,759 Speaker 1: days a week to do activities with our daughter on 27 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: her iPad. But most of the time my daughter is 28 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: in the basement making videos of herself, cooking, doing her 29 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,199 Speaker 1: doll's hair, and trying to do TikTok dances. Last week, 30 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: she was doing a cooking video and my husband was 31 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: in the background on the phone. My daughter shushed him 32 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 1: in her sweet little way, and he winked at her. 33 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: Then he told whoever he was on the phone with 34 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: that he had to go and he'd see her At 35 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: twelve thirty. While the baby was taking a nap, he 36 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: was grinning from ear to ear. He also told the 37 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: person to bring her bonnet so she wouldn't sweat her 38 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 1: hair out like last time. That evening, my daughter wanted 39 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: to show me her video, but all I heard was 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: my husband talking to his side chick. The people closest 41 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: to me think we can get past this. So does 42 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 1: he can a cheater? Ever? Change? Do I owe him 43 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: a second chance? First of all, I got to say 44 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: this about your little three year old daughter. She's amazing. Okay, 45 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 1: she's quite advanced with her technical skills and all that 46 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: filming herself, cooking during Odal's hair, doing TikTok dances. I 47 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: like that. But no, you don't owe your husband a 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: second chance. Why don't you owe him a second chance 49 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: because he's cheating on you and you have the receipts period, 50 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: And where's he going at twelve thirty when your daughter 51 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: takes a nap. I mean he's supposed to be watching 52 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: her write? Can cheaters change? You ask? I believe people 53 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 1: can do whatever they put their minds to. The problem 54 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:58,959 Speaker 1: is will he change? Can he control himself? Or does 55 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: he even want to stop cheating? Those are the questions. 56 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: And it's not a matter of him changing. It's not 57 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: even that he broke the trust you had in him. 58 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: So it's about you now. Do you want to give 59 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: him a second chance? Do you want to do that? 60 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: Will you ever be able to trust him again? You 61 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: don't want to be constantly worried about him cheating and 62 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: whatever else he's doing. He said, he believes you guys 63 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: can get past this, just like family members did. So 64 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: What is he willing to do to make sure of that? 65 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: Do you want to give him another chance? Like I said, 66 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: will he stop cheating and do the hard work it's 67 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: going to take to fix this marriage? If it can 68 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: be fixed, how does he plan to make it up 69 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: to you? These are more of the questions that you 70 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 1: need to ask him if you decide to try and 71 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: work this marriage out. I will caution you to be 72 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: careful though, because at this point I'm sure he's going 73 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: to say anything he thinks you want to hear. So 74 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: trust what he does, not what he says. Steve, he 75 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,040 Speaker 1: was caught at. 76 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 2: Well, oh, let me just start by saying, damn dog. Yes, 77 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 2: I mean, just damn dog. 78 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: Uh. 79 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 2: First of all, why are you talking in front of 80 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 2: your child, y'all? I mean, and how loud were you 81 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 2: talking that whatever your daughter was doing on the iPad 82 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:37,239 Speaker 2: you could be heard in the background. None of this letter, 83 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 2: none of this information in the in the letter is 84 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,159 Speaker 2: important about her being married before this. 85 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: His first marriage. 86 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,599 Speaker 2: Uh, he never he never had a child, so you 87 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 2: felt obligated to have a baby. And now y'all got 88 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 2: a three year old, You got a twenty one year 89 00:04:54,080 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 2: old and eighteen year old, and you know that's not important. 90 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 2: It ain't even important that his husband runs a tax 91 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 2: prep business. That your husband runs a tax prep business 92 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 2: and he does payroll for his brother's business. What do 93 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 2: that got to do with anything? All this information is 94 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 2: so irrelevant. It has nothing to do with the letter. 95 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 2: His office is down in our basement. Now this is 96 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 2: what becomes important. The office is in the basement, so 97 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 2: our daughter stays home with him every day. It has 98 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: saved money on daycare. So we have a too to 99 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 2: come by two days a week to do activities with 100 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 2: our daughter. 101 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: On her I pad. 102 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 2: You have what so you pay somebody to come by 103 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 2: the house two days a week, not to study, but 104 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 2: to do activities with your daughter on how I pad? 105 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,679 Speaker 2: So I guess you're supporting the daughter. 106 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: It's probably educational stuff. 107 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 2: No, no, no, we have a tutor come by two 108 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 2: days to do activities on our daughter's iPad. Yeah. For 109 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 2: most of the time, my daughter is in the basement 110 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 2: making videos of herself cooking, doing her doll's hair, or 111 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 2: trying to do TikTok dance. At what the hell I 112 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 2: need a tutor to come by for that for two days? 113 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: What I think it's educational. 114 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, anyway, she was doing a cooking video and 115 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 2: my hunt was in the background on the phone. This 116 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 2: is where the letter gets good. This is all we 117 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 2: need to do, and after that, I'll tell you whatever. 118 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: All right, we'll have part two of Steve's response coming 119 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's strawberry letter. 120 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 1: Subject is it was all recorded on her iPad. We'll 121 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:54,239 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening Morning show. 122 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. 123 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: The subject is it was all recorded on her iPad. 124 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 2: The first part of this letter is unimportant. She's been married, 125 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 2: Her husband has it. They've been married four years. She 126 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 2: got two kids that's grown eighteen twenty one. He wanted 127 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 2: a child, felt obligated. They got a three year old daughter. 128 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 2: He works from his basement. He do his brother's taxes. 129 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 2: The daughter stays home with them to save money on daycare, 130 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 2: and she do TikTok videos. And y'all got a two 131 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 2: to come by twice a week to do activities on TikTok. 132 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 2: They ain't got damn thing to do with this letter 133 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 2: except set us up. Your baby is always doing stuff 134 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 2: on TikTok. Now, last week she was doing a cooking video. 135 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 2: She's three years old. Yes, y'all gonna set the house 136 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 2: on fire. And my husband was in the background on 137 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 2: the phone. My daughter shshed him in her sweet little way, 138 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 2: and he winked at her. Oh, some daddy daughter time. 139 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 2: Then he told whoever was on the phone with that 140 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 2: he had to go and he would see her at 141 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 2: twelve thirty. Now, whoever he was on the phone with, 142 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 2: you don't know. So we got a small out here, 143 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 2: We got a loop, a chance to lie, you said, 144 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: he told her. But you don't know it was her 145 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 2: because all he said was I'll see you at twelve 146 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 2: thirty while the baby is taking a nap. It could 147 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 2: have been a business meeting, it could have been anything. 148 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 2: We had it opening. But now your ass stayed on 149 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 2: the phone and gave the incriminating evidence. 150 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: Yes, he was grinning here the end. 151 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 2: Well, if I'm gonna make some money, I'm grinning too. 152 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 2: He also told the person to bring your bonnet so 153 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 2: you donna sweat your hair out like last time. What 154 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 2: is you saying this for? In front of the damn baby. 155 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 2: That evening, my daughter wanted to show me her video. 156 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 2: All I heard was my husband talking to his side chick. 157 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 2: Now it wasn't a side chick until he's saying, bring 158 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 2: your bonnet so you don't sweat your hair out come 159 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 2: on like last time. God, this is the information that 160 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:32,199 Speaker 2: is incriminating and the part that we must deal with immediately. 161 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: I have a solution. No way, Yes, no way, Steve. 162 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 2: That evening, my daughter wanted to show me the video 163 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 2: and I heard my husband talking to his what you say, 164 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: this side chick. The people closest to me think we 165 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:53,079 Speaker 2: can work past this, and so does he cound of cheetah? 166 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 2: Ever change? Do I owe him a second chance? Now, 167 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,119 Speaker 2: First of all, you left out a lot of information 168 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 2: what he said about the phone call, how he explained it, everything. 169 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 2: But obviously he must have told her that it was 170 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 2: a chicken. Surely's ridiculous question was where is he going 171 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 2: at twelve thirty? He ain't going nowhere. He leaving that 172 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 2: baby at home about himself, it's twelve thirty. When the 173 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 2: baby take a nap, he don't leave the house. She 174 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 2: need to bring that bonnet so she don't swear her 175 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 2: hair and lead no hand on these sheets that he's 176 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 2: going nowhere. His dumb ass is at the house. What 177 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 2: he should have said was that was not a woman 178 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 2: on the phone. I did say, come over at twelve 179 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 2: thirty so the baby could be sleep. And I told 180 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 2: him to bring his bonnet because sometimes he goes to 181 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,200 Speaker 2: the soner. It was my brother, and my brother go 182 00:10:56,360 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 2: to the soner and I told him to bring his 183 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 2: bonnet with him because what you don't know was my 184 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 2: brother just got a parent. 185 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: Uh uh No, nobody's buying that. Well, what else she got? 186 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:16,680 Speaker 1: What else she got? 187 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 2: But she at least he would have had it because 188 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 2: you didn't know who he was talking to when he 189 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,959 Speaker 2: said come by a twelve while baby sleep. The problem 190 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 2: he had was he told her to bring a bonnet 191 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 2: so she wouldn't sweat her hairt man, all we got 192 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 2: to do is cover this bonnet and sweating hair. And 193 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 2: that would be a man who has a James Brown 194 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 2: parent that he was perm in his hair. And that's 195 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 2: all it got. 196 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 1: All you got gonna work. 197 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 2: Absolutely, not absolutely, but you need to have a shadow 198 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 2: of doubt because in Nigeria of twelve, you just need. 199 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 3: One reasonable You just need one for reasonable doubt is 200 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 3: the key word reasonable That didn't work. Yeah, and everybody 201 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 3: people closer. You think y'all could get past that. And 202 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 3: so does he kenne Cheetah ever changed? She just changed 203 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 3: all the time. Do I owe him a second chance? 204 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 3: I don't know that you owe him anything. It's just 205 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 3: a matter of do you want to? But you left 206 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 3: a lot of information out of this. I'm assuming you're 207 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 3: writing because you want to work it out. If you 208 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 3: didn't write us, you would just say I'm done. I'm 209 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 3: going boom boom boom, boom boom. But you have some 210 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 3: doubts and you want to try to work it out 211 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 3: with this man because he used to be your world. 212 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: She was thinking in her head that it could be 213 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: the brother with the perm. 214 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 2: No, she's not thinking that at all. Because you are 215 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,719 Speaker 2: smart enough to interject that doubt early on, it's too 216 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 2: late to double back. 217 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: He's already ever, there's no doubt he did it. 218 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 2: He's already admitted it. 219 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 1: Charley. 220 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 2: Why don't you listen sometime? Oh we just go with 221 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,199 Speaker 2: your home wrecking advice. 222 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: And you're just mad because he got caught, and you know, 223 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: I have a life for it. 224 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 2: I'm man because he didn't think anyhing about that. 225 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: Dro I known a day's letter on Instagram at Steve 226 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 1: Harvey FM and check us out on the Strawberry Letter 227 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,760 Speaker 1: podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up next to 228 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: his Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening 229 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show