Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
Speaker 1: talked back back, and we back. What's up y'all thinking
Speaker 1: for tuning in for a new episode that we talked back?
Speaker 1: It's your co host A J. Holiday. What's up, Tam? Hey, y'all.
Speaker 1: This is dedicating to you niggas and these homes and
Speaker 1: everybody in between. A J said that, I said it today.
Speaker 1: Hey girl, Hey y'all, what's up, Jack? How you doing?
Speaker 1: I am in recovery mode, ch'ad my first week of three,
Speaker 1: I gotta beat the funk up by some little bug
Speaker 1: I picked up, probably at this house party I went
Speaker 1: to at my home girl house. But I'm recovering. You
Speaker 1: might have had COVID. You might have had COVID. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know what COVID feels like, but I didn't
Speaker 1: lose my taste, smell, none of that ship you know.
Speaker 1: Reminded me of like when I was really young and
Speaker 1: I used to have bronchitis a lot. That's that's what
Speaker 1: it felt like. That's what COVID be feeling like. Bro. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but these things existed prior to COVID. So why why
Speaker 1: you don't like this test? Because I feel like sometimes
Speaker 1: the test can be contaminated. The last time I took
Speaker 1: a COVID test, I got sick. Now, I could have
Speaker 1: very well had COVID at that time. But I literally
Speaker 1: took a COVID test, and in twenty four hours I
Speaker 1: was sick from having stuck some ship out my nose.
Speaker 1: But you was already feeling sick. That's why I was.
Speaker 1: I took the COVID test to travel back from Jamaica.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't know. I don't. I ain't never
Speaker 1: heard of nobody getting sick from the test. You don't know, though,
Speaker 1: you don't know, You're right? That was my weekend, y'all.
Speaker 1: If y'all kid, I was sick, and now I'm back.
Speaker 1: I went to the gym yesterday. I'm here today. That's
Speaker 1: what it is. What's up? I think I stayed in
Speaker 1: my house? Oh no, I'm lying. I went outside. I
Speaker 1: went to U always outside, bit you'd be lying. I
Speaker 1: went to uh see Carlos um Miller. Carlos Miller at
Speaker 1: the Ovens Auditorium here in Charlotte. Y'all. When I tell you,
Speaker 1: this nigga was so funny, This nigga was so funny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he had me like holding on my stomach,
Speaker 1: laughing like like laughing like that. That boy is funny.
Speaker 1: And he also agreed to have me in a j
Speaker 1: on eighty five South, so y'all stay too for that
Speaker 1: this year. So that's a good time. And that's really
Speaker 1: all I did. After I went to the show, we
Speaker 1: all went to um O this place called Tattoos and
Speaker 1: Booze in Charlotte to see the fight Davanta Javante. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we watched the fight there. Well, I only watched a
Speaker 1: few minutes of it because my bullion started hurting on
Speaker 1: my left foot and baby had to go because we
Speaker 1: didn't have the table and I don't do that, so
Speaker 1: I had to get up out of there. But that
Speaker 1: was it. I love Carlos Miller like he one of
Speaker 1: my favorite comedians and that like um, Corey Hokem, Corey
Speaker 1: Holkem and Carlins Miller. Then my people, Corey Holcom definitely
Speaker 1: will go there. He's one of the people who are
Speaker 1: not afraid to say whatever the funk they want to
Speaker 1: say at all. Yeah, and sometimes that ship might have
Speaker 1: it's like nigger, why you say that? Like how do
Speaker 1: you even fix your mouth? It's so embarrassed, Like I
Speaker 1: feel embarrassed. Yeah you said that ship. He yeah, he
Speaker 1: definitely pushed. But Carlos Miller is like he liked that
Speaker 1: funny ass homeboy, that funny ass cousin. This nigked don't.
Speaker 1: I don't even think he does he even write some ship.
Speaker 1: He just be funny and then he just go out
Speaker 1: there and start talking. Yea half of the comedy came
Speaker 1: from the crowd. Like. It wasn't even like him telling
Speaker 1: a joke like you know, yeah, it was like a
Speaker 1: girl in there with a key chain with a blood
Speaker 1: cut on it, and he did a whole set about
Speaker 1: a blood cutter just that quick, you know, And it
Speaker 1: wasn't you know, you couldn't have magic. Yes, magic, he's mad.
Speaker 1: But you know the eighty five South show. They're doing
Speaker 1: prov for that show. Two they don't really like have
Speaker 1: a ski just go up there. I could got their food.
Speaker 1: So it's it. That's that's a real life talent you
Speaker 1: can't get on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah, he asked me. He
Speaker 1: asked me, Uh, if my pussy was played by a
Speaker 1: person in a movie, who would my pussy be? And
Speaker 1: I just could not figure who my pussy would be.
Speaker 1: Like I went. I eventually went with in the beginning,
Speaker 1: my pussy would be Earth the Kid, mocking, and then
Speaker 1: my pussy would be played by Cecily Tyson in the end,
Speaker 1: a strong, strong pussy that all my life I had
Speaker 1: to fight pussy. Stupid. One girl was like, my pussy
Speaker 1: would be played by Ray. He was like, you gotta
Speaker 1: inscutre pussy, Yo, broken pussy. Man. I'm trying to think
Speaker 1: who mine would be played by. I don't know. Earth
Speaker 1: the Kid is a good one, man, I don't know
Speaker 1: that's a good way. All right, let's get into the
Speaker 1: sins of this week stupid internet news. I don't know
Speaker 1: if y'all watch football, I really don't, but I saw
Speaker 1: this on social media that the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the
Speaker 1: Cleveland Brown fourteen and in the celebration they did CPR
Speaker 1: motions to one of the players on the field as
Speaker 1: a victory dance. And you know, last week tomorrow, Hamlin,
Speaker 1: you know, needed CPR on the field because he went
Speaker 1: into cardiac arres and I just thought that was real tacky. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's kind of disrespectful. That guy could have passed away,
Speaker 1: Like would y'all have done it? Then? It's super disrespectful.
Speaker 1: It's just like tasteless. I mean, the a but a
Speaker 1: graceful God that man is still here with us, you know,
Speaker 1: God bless him and he and and he'll never play again,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. But I really that they would pay
Speaker 1: him out his Phoe car track, which is a good
Speaker 1: thing they should um do for everybody exactly. I was wondering,
Speaker 1: like what happens in that case, because we know football
Speaker 1: players contracts oftentimes aren't guaranteed, So do they have like
Speaker 1: um health insurance and stuff like that, Like a regular
Speaker 1: person would that. I'm I'm hoping so I would like
Speaker 1: to think so anyway, But that's whack as fun that
Speaker 1: they did that. Yeah, Like that's traumatic experience for everybody
Speaker 1: that was on the field during that time. And y'all
Speaker 1: whack is hell for that. And it was just last week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: y'all don't mean wait, it was just last week. I
Speaker 1: hope they get some kind of fine for that ship. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Samon's good. He tweeted Saturday, uh and he was like,
Speaker 1: who won? The doctor told him that he won the
Speaker 1: Game of life? Period. Black people are so funny, man.
Speaker 1: We could turn like some really bad ship into a
Speaker 1: good time all the time? Are we taking and run
Speaker 1: out like doing CPR That was stupid stupid internet news
Speaker 1: and other stupid Internet news. Young Thug Um trial is
Speaker 1: due to begin, I believe in the next coming weeks anyway,
Speaker 1: but right now they're in jury selection. So while injury selection,
Speaker 1: the judge um, he's basically reading out the lyrics of
Speaker 1: some of Young Thug songs in court. And I thought
Speaker 1: that the jurors are supposed to be like, um, you know,
Speaker 1: non biased, like they should know all these details about
Speaker 1: the case, about the case until they're actually selected to
Speaker 1: be a juror. So to me, it's kind of like
Speaker 1: they're almost taming the jury already convicting Young Thug if
Speaker 1: this is how they're now handling sh in court. So
Speaker 1: I know in California they threw out using lyrics in court,
Speaker 1: but apparently this still stands in the state of Georgia,
Speaker 1: where they will use um rapp lyrics in particular because
Speaker 1: we do have the most violent music, right they are
Speaker 1: now using lyrics against uh these artists in court. And
Speaker 1: I mean we're in a place like Atlanta. They're in
Speaker 1: a place like Atlanta, Georgia. Everybody's a fucking rapper. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's like you can't have anything happen, and then you
Speaker 1: wrapped about. Even some ship that don't have anything to
Speaker 1: do with anything that you're currently in trouble for, they
Speaker 1: may use those lyrics in the court a lot. What
Speaker 1: you think about that? Do you think that you know,
Speaker 1: because it's art imitating life or vice versa? Which one
Speaker 1: is it? Uh? You know? For me, it's kind of
Speaker 1: slippery slope because if you're a rapper and you made
Speaker 1: a song and and my cousin got killed and he's like, yeah, slice, spooky, yes,
Speaker 1: look with a knife and put his body in the ditch,
Speaker 1: and that's really what happened to my cousin, Pooky, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna need that to be used in court to get
Speaker 1: you convicted. Right. So there's a part of me that
Speaker 1: feels that way. But then is an also a part
Speaker 1: of me that feels like a lot of times these
Speaker 1: rappers just be entertainers and there's a lot of capping
Speaker 1: the songs and y'all using it to make them look
Speaker 1: bad when in the actuality it's just music. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just for entertainment purposes. So it is a slippery slope.
Speaker 1: For me, you know, right, And he's using lyrics from
Speaker 1: a song slime shit. So listen to larrics are and
Speaker 1: then what when you read larrics out, It's like what
Speaker 1: the fund a yall nigga is really saying? It's the
Speaker 1: beat that'd be nice. These niggas cannot wrap okay, and says,
Speaker 1: hey this that slime ship? Hey, why is sell ship?
Speaker 1: Hey killing twelve ship? This is fucked up? Okay, Hey,
Speaker 1: fucking jail ship. Hey, cooking white brick. Hey, Hey I'm
Speaker 1: not new to this. Hey, I'm so true to this. Hey,
Speaker 1: I don't put a whole slime on a hunted licks.
Speaker 1: You read it better than that judge because he was
Speaker 1: sucking it up. Read it to the beat. God. Like
Speaker 1: I remember when I was living in Atlanta, there used
Speaker 1: to be like billboards that basically they're the police was
Speaker 1: trying to hire people to interpret gang slang. So they
Speaker 1: were trying to hire civilians to help them. You know, understand, Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: this is a whole another language. So um the judge
Speaker 1: proceeding over the trial as a judge, Cleanville's a black man. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think that they should be
Speaker 1: able to use lyrics in court. I think that in
Speaker 1: this case, young thug does not just need a defense attorney,
Speaker 1: he needs uh civil law attorney. He needs a couple
Speaker 1: of people in there because this this freedom of speech.
Speaker 1: I feel like he should be able to um get
Speaker 1: the lyrics thrown out, the use of the lyrics in
Speaker 1: the crimes, because a lot of their case is based
Speaker 1: on the lyrics in the songs. Yeah, so I think
Speaker 1: he leaves a civil rights attorney and then just like
Speaker 1: somebody to interpret the law because I don't see how
Speaker 1: this is legal for them to read it out to
Speaker 1: the jurors right during jury selection. Yeah, it's weird. So
Speaker 1: it's a lot of unprecedented should happening in the state.
Speaker 1: I always say, the jury is going to be members
Speaker 1: of your peers. They already know them lyrics if it's
Speaker 1: members of your peers, right, Yeah, but it ain't. There's
Speaker 1: some old lady from Marietta. Yeah. This that September last year,
Speaker 1: Governor Newsome signed the decriminalizing artistic expression at Act a
Speaker 1: B nine nine. So it effectively bans the use of
Speaker 1: rapp lyrics evidence in court and making California the first
Speaker 1: state to pass such a law. They need that law
Speaker 1: that should be a federal in Georgia, especially because there's
Speaker 1: a lot of rappers in Georgia, and then with the
Speaker 1: gang community in California, like its rampant. It is as
Speaker 1: it is, if they really wanted to put niggas in jail,
Speaker 1: like they would not have inforced something like this. They
Speaker 1: would just let it be and use all those lyrics
Speaker 1: against against uh the artists. But also it would be
Speaker 1: wise to not incriminate yourself and your music at all. Also,
Speaker 1: you know, that's the weird part about it. It's like
Speaker 1: our generation we did things discreetly with the drill music.
Speaker 1: These young guys are literally committing crimes and putting it
Speaker 1: on wax. It's so weird, Like you don't even have
Speaker 1: to snitch on them anymore. They snitching themselves. Get somebody
Speaker 1: else to do it. That's my favorite ship, I know.
Speaker 1: Isn't it fun? And you gotta do it? You gotta say,
Speaker 1: just like her, ummm, get somebody else to do it?
Speaker 1: All right? What else happening? All right? I'm sick of
Speaker 1: these people. Okay, So I know I sent you a
Speaker 1: couple of clips online after we spoke about this earlier,
Speaker 1: but um so the family of Big Scar. He's a
Speaker 1: rapper who you know was murdered recently. He was, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was on Gucci Man's label. Gucci Man Um apparently
Speaker 1: told the family that he would cover the funeral cost, right,
Speaker 1: so I believe he. Yeah. He passed away December twenty
Speaker 1: two at age two, young boy, right. I don't know
Speaker 1: how long he was signed the ten seventeen records, but
Speaker 1: Gucci Man said he would cover to the funeral expenses.
Speaker 1: So some of his friends and family took to the
Speaker 1: internet to say that, you know, once they asked Gucci Man,
Speaker 1: you know, was he going to cover the expensive expenses?
Speaker 1: He hung up and blocked them for teaching or Gucci
Speaker 1: Maine's wife Okay, so she took to social media to
Speaker 1: produce evidence two receipts that she paid that they got
Speaker 1: that they collectively paid for flowers and ten thousand dollars
Speaker 1: towards the funeral expenses for this young man Um. I
Speaker 1: don't know what else they could have done. The family
Speaker 1: is still saying they didn't get any money. They paid
Speaker 1: the money directly to the funeral home. Did y'all want
Speaker 1: that money to go to your hands? Right? So y'all
Speaker 1: can cremate him and split the uh nine thousand. I
Speaker 1: mean they should have created him in the first place. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't. I don't agree with spending thousands and
Speaker 1: thousands of dollars on and this is my preference, right
Speaker 1: I can. I'll say this, Um, living your life a
Speaker 1: certain way and then put in your family and a
Speaker 1: hardship when something happens to you, it's very selfish. So
Speaker 1: we know that cremation is much less expensive. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's a religious religion reason why they
Speaker 1: have to have a burial, an actual burial, but cremate
Speaker 1: that boy and keep it moving. Did you have life insurance?
Speaker 1: This is the stuff we need to listen. This, This
Speaker 1: is the hard truths. I'm sorry, it's just a hard truth.
Speaker 1: Like you you're leaving. If you need assistance to bury
Speaker 1: your child, y'all don't have it. Y'all don't have the money.
Speaker 1: He didn't leave any money nothing. Obviously, if y'all talking,
Speaker 1: it's crazy about somebody outside your family that did assist. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't understand why they were sold. You know, people
Speaker 1: more indifferent and I just try not to pass judgment
Speaker 1: on people morning. Uh, but it's unfair for them to
Speaker 1: feel like Gucci didn't do enough. He didn't have to
Speaker 1: do Honestly, he didn't have to do nothing. You know,
Speaker 1: nobody's entitled to do anything for you, right, did he
Speaker 1: die for you? That's the only way I could think of.
Speaker 1: Like even then, Oh, you can say your condolences. You
Speaker 1: still don't owe nobody anything financially. What they did was nice.
Speaker 1: You know, they gave money, They gave ten thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: they sit flowers. You know, what else do you want?
Speaker 1: What else do you want? Oh, he's asking for his
Speaker 1: chains back to So Gucci Maine is asking for the
Speaker 1: chains that he gave this young man back. Uh. I
Speaker 1: don't know how I feel about that. You know, it's
Speaker 1: his family. Probably could sell those change and get some
Speaker 1: money if they needed. You know, I wouldn't ask for
Speaker 1: Once I give somebody something, now, typically ask for it back.
Speaker 1: I mean they're already gone, So who do you ask
Speaker 1: for it back? Or was that a down payment on
Speaker 1: his career? Why? Why? Why do they give the chains away? Anyway?
Speaker 1: Like when the when the record give a chain, is
Speaker 1: it a company car? It's a company car? Right based
Speaker 1: to give them to give them the acstatic that you
Speaker 1: need to look like legit in the rap industry, you know,
Speaker 1: and we know a lot of people rent jury all
Speaker 1: the time. So just it's just like a rental while
Speaker 1: you're with this group. Give that man back the jury to.
Speaker 1: I believe they should give the jury back. I doubt
Speaker 1: Gaucy Man sees this jury. He might as well just
Speaker 1: just chuck it up as a loss. Yeah, let's just
Speaker 1: still a still a conversation about drug use in our
Speaker 1: black community. And because he died from prescription overdose, young
Speaker 1: man and too, so it's a sad chain of events.
Speaker 1: Rest in peace to this young man and be grateful
Speaker 1: when somebody helps you. That's all I got to say.
Speaker 1: On man. Yeah, this is real. It's real nasty what
Speaker 1: they're doing online. It's embarrassing. Yeah, I'm embarrassed, and it's
Speaker 1: it's not even me. I'm embarrassed. Yeah. So we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a break and we're gonna talk dating in Los
Speaker 1: Angeles as a black woman. And we're back. Okay, we
Speaker 1: have a special guest on we talked back this weekend.
Speaker 1: We want to talk about dating. Okay, uh, sex in
Speaker 1: the city nine oh two one oh style. Okay, we
Speaker 1: have sat whom on we talked back this week. Girl,
Speaker 1: Hey girl, Hi, hey hi. Oh my god, but I'm
Speaker 1: excited me to Okay, So y'all a little backstory. I
Speaker 1: went to l A to uh Bi, Samone and Megan
Speaker 1: Brooks live show for No for Sure, and I met
Speaker 1: Effie there. Effie was fabulous. She was looking good, she
Speaker 1: was glowing, she was standing out, and we just got
Speaker 1: to talking about being beautiful black women and dating. And
Speaker 1: I was like, girl, I had to get you on
Speaker 1: the show and talk about dating in l A. So
Speaker 1: thank you for coming. Girl, Let's get into this for
Speaker 1: having me. I'm like, I'm super excited, Like I am
Speaker 1: very very excited. Good good Listen. We've been going back
Speaker 1: and forth since what was that November about a date,
Speaker 1: so finally we got you here. So I'm gonna jump
Speaker 1: into it real quickly. Do only day black man, Yes,
Speaker 1: exclusively only dateway. And it's not because like I'm racist
Speaker 1: or anything. It's you know, um, in college, I had
Speaker 1: my degree was in kinesiology and my minor was an
Speaker 1: Africana studies um and I there's so many things that
Speaker 1: I learned within the Africana Studies course that maybe just
Speaker 1: want black. I don't want mixed race kids personally, I
Speaker 1: just want black. Let's talk about it. And um, I
Speaker 1: always felt like nobody can raise my child to be
Speaker 1: black in America than a black man. So again, everybody
Speaker 1: is beautiful though, you know every but for me, my
Speaker 1: taste is like, you know, I like black man. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about those studies. So what does that all entail?
Speaker 1: Africa Africana studies? What is that exactly? So going into it,
Speaker 1: I thought it was just gonna be like African American history,
Speaker 1: but it's deeper than that. It's like the psychology, sociology.
Speaker 1: It taught me like it broadened my view on how
Speaker 1: I I interact with Africans within the diaspora. And when
Speaker 1: I say that, I mean because I am Nigerian American,
Speaker 1: my views on things are somewhat different from someone who
Speaker 1: may be born and raised in America as African American
Speaker 1: or somebody that's Caribbean. So um, it just gave me
Speaker 1: a more a broad a broader understanding, and more sympathy too,
Speaker 1: Like when I see certain things like I don't react
Speaker 1: like oh my god, that's just like who does that
Speaker 1: to me? It's like where, how did they grow up,
Speaker 1: like what happened? Where did they come from? So it's
Speaker 1: more like a broad up like a psychological thing as
Speaker 1: well that goes into it. That's interesting. I'm on Clubhouse
Speaker 1: a lot, and that's usually. Have you been on Clubhouse ever? Yes?
Speaker 1: And you so you've seen the diaspor Awards on Clubhouse
Speaker 1: essentially between Africans and Black American people. And I think
Speaker 1: it's sad because, like it's funny enough, like my best
Speaker 1: friends for over ten years African Americans. I go to
Speaker 1: their family reunions, they come to my Nigerian events, like
Speaker 1: we don't even care. So when I see stuff like
Speaker 1: that kind of breaks my heart because we're stronger together
Speaker 1: than divide. And just because we I guess, you know,
Speaker 1: different areas. I guess we come from different areas, doesn't
Speaker 1: necessarily necessarily mean we're different culturally, yes, maybe, but like
Speaker 1: if we just come together, look at black women are
Speaker 1: killing it out here across the disk, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? So what better way to like not keep
Speaker 1: us powerful than to just break us up instead of
Speaker 1: us coming together? So I don't I don't really be
Speaker 1: paying attention to stuff like that because I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a lot of ignorance, that and a lot of
Speaker 1: self hate from both parties. So yeah, so all right,
Speaker 1: you say you only date black men, and I think
Speaker 1: that's a lot for a lot of black women, Like
Speaker 1: I only date black men. Do you date outside of that?
Speaker 1: Have earlier on before I became a black panther, but
Speaker 1: nowadays you know, I'm just saying no, Yeah, my preference
Speaker 1: number one preference white. I mean, look, black men are
Speaker 1: my number one preference. Yes, So do you feel like
Speaker 1: with that it limits us from options? Especially you in
Speaker 1: l A? Because what l A population is eight percent black?
Speaker 1: I mean, like, how do I explain it? Like? I
Speaker 1: don't think so, because they're gonna find me. Okay, Like
Speaker 1: they're gonna find me. The only problem with it with
Speaker 1: me is the way I talk. I noticed, Um, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys can hear it, hear me?
Speaker 1: I sound very valley, I've been told. So that's what
Speaker 1: stumps me a lot from talking to black men in
Speaker 1: l A because they automatically assume I only date white men.
Speaker 1: Really interesting, so when you meet a black guy, they
Speaker 1: assume that you only like black men verse I mean
Speaker 1: white men versus black and and that's a thing that
Speaker 1: makes you unattractive. No, I mean they just they don't.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't pursue me. Like I remember I went to
Speaker 1: Target one time and just one dude just came up
Speaker 1: to me like they're beautiful or whatever, and then I
Speaker 1: started speaking. He was like, you like the type the
Speaker 1: only date white men. You sound like the type the
Speaker 1: only dates white men. That's ignorant. So it was just
Speaker 1: like I was like, mm hmm, that's yeah. That's so
Speaker 1: that's definitely ignorant with ignorance within our own thing because
Speaker 1: because of how someone's someone talks, so you automatically associate
Speaker 1: that with smart. So is that a me problem, sir?
Speaker 1: Or are you problem? If I sound white? Is what
Speaker 1: he was trying to tell you, Right, that's the thing
Speaker 1: we use in the black community. You sound white? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I got thought like, like I said, all
Speaker 1: my life growing up, you really don't sound white to me, though,
Speaker 1: Like you sound like you're from l A and a
Speaker 1: black woman like black women have like this tone, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, it's just like, you know,
Speaker 1: what's a black woman? Okay, So I don't know what
Speaker 1: are you're talking about? Yeah? So all right, I was
Speaker 1: I was watching this video earlier, just trying to get
Speaker 1: some information on like l A and you know, they
Speaker 1: have some questions for you. And there was this black
Speaker 1: woman saying that l A has a very self center
Speaker 1: centered culture and that's why it's hard for black women there.
Speaker 1: Would you agree with that person when you say self centered, Like,
Speaker 1: do you mean like everybody feels like they're or something
Speaker 1: like everybody feels like they're superstar type of thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And everybody is very self absorbed, and it's hard to
Speaker 1: meet anybody that's just really interested in anyone else because
Speaker 1: they're so self absorbed. Like she was saying that, like
Speaker 1: nobody says good morning, and nobody says, oh, you look nice.
Speaker 1: It's just kind of everybody is all in tune with
Speaker 1: theirselves and waiting on someone else to be I would say, men,
Speaker 1: I've been complaining with my home girlths about this man
Speaker 1: out here. How do I say this like so nicely?
Speaker 1: You'll have to be nice. I have never, like I
Speaker 1: could never in my mind experience like even think like
Speaker 1: I would be going through some of the stuff I
Speaker 1: went through with some of these men out here. Um,
Speaker 1: they want to be the passenger princess. They want you to,
Speaker 1: Like if you ask a man like why don't you
Speaker 1: give me flowers and lay, they'll be like why when
Speaker 1: you get me flocking? Or like you can go on
Speaker 1: a date in l a and they will make you
Speaker 1: pay half the meal on for the date. So dating
Speaker 1: in lay is such a struggle because a lot of
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is because it's maybe no,
Speaker 1: they're just I don't know, like they just don't feel
Speaker 1: like they need to put in the effort. And I
Speaker 1: think that the problem is a lot of females nowadays,
Speaker 1: like us, like a lot of women, we enabled that
Speaker 1: behavior sometimes so they think it's okay. So like they'll
Speaker 1: do it with the first girl and then they'll come
Speaker 1: to somebody like me, and then it's more because it's
Speaker 1: just like I'm not about to deal with that, you know,
Speaker 1: So they just I don't know if it's it's not
Speaker 1: because of money, it's I guess it's a self absorbed
Speaker 1: They feel like, you know, I look good, I'm the prize.
Speaker 1: You've gotta chase me too. I'm not just gonna put
Speaker 1: in the effort, so I'm not going I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do the most for you. So yeah, and like
Speaker 1: I said, we enabled something, not us, but like some
Speaker 1: women enabled the behavior because a self esteem may because
Speaker 1: of insecurities. I don't know, but like I'm just not
Speaker 1: with it. So I agree with that what she said.
Speaker 1: So it's l A like the home. Others like what
Speaker 1: the fund is happening in l A. All I know
Speaker 1: is I don't. I personally find it very difficult to
Speaker 1: day in l A. And I said, I will not
Speaker 1: be dating in l A anymore. I will only be
Speaker 1: doing long distance. It is not bad. I have left.
Speaker 1: I'm done with l A and I'm only So are
Speaker 1: black men in l A attracted to black women? I
Speaker 1: want to say fifty fifty right? And I also like
Speaker 1: it's it's hard because you know, growing up in l A,
Speaker 1: you see a lot of mixed race women, and you
Speaker 1: see a lot of white women, you know, and then
Speaker 1: of course there's black women. And technically when you see
Speaker 1: a black man, you see them in the arms of
Speaker 1: a white woman or a mixed race girl. So like
Speaker 1: some of them swear they love black women, but they
Speaker 1: don't date us. And you see that play up like
Speaker 1: play out a lot in l A. Like black Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love black women on pro black This is not
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. But then their girlfriends or
Speaker 1: track records are all white or mixed race women, So
Speaker 1: like to me, it's like, I don't know, like do
Speaker 1: you really love us? Or do you love saying you
Speaker 1: love us for attention? You know what I mean? Do
Speaker 1: you love that we stand by you? Do you love
Speaker 1: that we will take care of you? Because Black women
Speaker 1: were very nurturing and when we are in love or
Speaker 1: when we care, we we tend to hold our own
Speaker 1: down and like where we ride, you know, So like
Speaker 1: do you love the fact that you know that you
Speaker 1: would if you're with us, that you you will have
Speaker 1: a home and then you can go do something else,
Speaker 1: you know? Or do you love your mom and sisters
Speaker 1: who are actually black because your ass is black and
Speaker 1: they look like you and those that are black women
Speaker 1: you love? But when it comes to dating, you don't
Speaker 1: like women who are esthetically black, you know, because a
Speaker 1: mixed race woman would say I'm black, you know she
Speaker 1: and she might be culturally black too, but aesthetically with
Speaker 1: the like featurism perhaps more not lacking Black women personally.
Speaker 1: Though I do date Africans, I'm like more I don't
Speaker 1: do it on purpose subconsciously. I don't know why, well,
Speaker 1: no I do. I'm Nigerian, so like subconsciously I go
Speaker 1: towards like Nigerian men or African men, and it's because
Speaker 1: again Nigerian African men. They the way we are raised
Speaker 1: is the men are the provider's period, right, So like
Speaker 1: going out on dates with um them or just even
Speaker 1: planning a future, it's like, I know, like they like
Speaker 1: I'll be cool, like I don't have to think about
Speaker 1: or be worried about do I have to pull out
Speaker 1: a wallet right now? You know what I mean? And
Speaker 1: we they you know, dating an African man. They love
Speaker 1: black women because we you know, we love our people.
Speaker 1: And it's hard because you know, growing up in l A,
Speaker 1: there's obviously like African Americans, it's Africans whatever. I got
Speaker 1: bullied more growing up by African American boys and girls
Speaker 1: then I did from white people. You know, like they
Speaker 1: love black women. I don't know fifty fifty, but they don't.
Speaker 1: It's it's very they don't show it. It's an insecurity
Speaker 1: within themselves because imagine you're going through life intentionally trying
Speaker 1: to recreate something that doesn't look like you or trying
Speaker 1: to create something that doesn't look like you. So the
Speaker 1: only way they can do that is not to be
Speaker 1: with the black woman. This makes me think about um, y'all,
Speaker 1: remember when Sweetie and too Short and not too Short
Speaker 1: is fifty five years old, too shortest from California. He's
Speaker 1: fur in the Bay Area. Sweetie is what. So he
Speaker 1: was having a conversation with Sweetie saying, you know, mixed heritage.
Speaker 1: He's always it's always been his favorite. That's usually who
Speaker 1: he went with, right, Um, he's never been with just
Speaker 1: a black woman. Um. And he was saying it like
Speaker 1: two ugly people could come together and make a beautiful baby.
Speaker 1: So in his mind, like, it has to be someone
Speaker 1: outside of the black community to be a pretty person. Right,
Speaker 1: So that's the problem with him. It has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with black women. And he essentially essentially said like
Speaker 1: that they did that to him, So his preference is
Speaker 1: based on where he lives geographically essentially, and too Short
Speaker 1: it's not fine. Let's be cleared. One of the ugly
Speaker 1: people he's talking about is himself. So in order to
Speaker 1: him not to recreate another one of two shorts, like,
Speaker 1: he had to get a woman outside the black community,
Speaker 1: in his mind. That starts a conversation about colorism and featurism.
Speaker 1: And I feel like out in l A, like, um,
Speaker 1: your proximity to whiteness is what makes you more beautiful.
Speaker 1: It seems like, or like your proximity to whiteness with
Speaker 1: a hint of black features like the full lips and
Speaker 1: the full I've got a lot of on some white women,
Speaker 1: brown women, it was like they they they they love
Speaker 1: nigga ship, but they don't like niggas. That's what I see.
Speaker 1: I mean like growing up in l A right like
Speaker 1: it's a majority of what you see is white and mixed.
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy because I never thought I was ugly
Speaker 1: growing up, but I did feel out of place. I
Speaker 1: felt like, um, if I didn't have curly hair or
Speaker 1: I wasn't damn near passing, I wouldn't get any attention,
Speaker 1: which is true because in college and know in high school,
Speaker 1: middle school, I wasn't nobody liked me like nobody liked me.
Speaker 1: The black guys would make fun of me. I was
Speaker 1: told my lips look like pillow clouds or whatever, like
Speaker 1: people get lips and like I I what I do
Speaker 1: love about this generation is that we're moving kind of
Speaker 1: away from that a little bit, and we're now like
Speaker 1: embracing how beautiful black is, you know, And I really
Speaker 1: really love that, and like it makes me excited to
Speaker 1: have children in the future where I know that I
Speaker 1: can bring them into a society where I don't have
Speaker 1: to have that talk with my daughter, Like, you know what,
Speaker 1: these kids are good to make fun of you for
Speaker 1: this because of your hair not being as curly like
Speaker 1: this or straight as their's, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But growing up it was rough. Like I played soccer,
Speaker 1: you know, always the black girl on the team. And
Speaker 1: I remember one time in the soccer game, somebody was
Speaker 1: like get the negro what And I'm not joking, and
Speaker 1: my heart dropped like midst I I don't know, like
Speaker 1: I just remember everything just went slow motion for me,
Speaker 1: and my dad had to pick me up, get me
Speaker 1: from the field. Like my dad was like, we have
Speaker 1: to go home, and I just completely stopped. And I
Speaker 1: was only black girl on the team, you know, black
Speaker 1: girl playing soccer. This not and all I see our
Speaker 1: white faces around me and like or I never saw
Speaker 1: color like that in a sense, Like I was just
Speaker 1: playing soccer. I'm just playing games with my friends. But
Speaker 1: that moment I realized I am not one of them,
Speaker 1: Like they did not see me as an equal part
Speaker 1: at all. They see me as a black girl playing
Speaker 1: soccer with them, and that is it. I am not
Speaker 1: an ally or whatever. I'm just a black girl running
Speaker 1: on the field. I was you say twelve eleven twelve
Speaker 1: was like the first time I e Arrian's like real
Speaker 1: life racism, like aet the Negro. Oh my god, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: like my whole body just went Negro and tears just
Speaker 1: started coming out. And my dad, like I said, came
Speaker 1: on that field. My daddy's like a six something African
Speaker 1: man straight Nigeria from Nigeria, accident all came picked me up,
Speaker 1: was like we're going home, Like you didn't get the fight?
Speaker 1: Did you continue to play that? I continue to play
Speaker 1: with that. Like soccer in general, I loved soccer. I
Speaker 1: that was one of my passions. Um. I didn't let
Speaker 1: it stop me. It actually fueled me because I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna be the best at this point, like
Speaker 1: this is what it is. I'm I'm gonna run all
Speaker 1: y'all over, which is what this negrol gonn whoop y'all
Speaker 1: lads out here. That's what I did, Like, I this hard.
Speaker 1: My dad would take me to extra trainings, traveling, and
Speaker 1: I was like one of the best players, and it
Speaker 1: was like that was the moment when I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you just see me as another black girl. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to work at hard. So that's that's the
Speaker 1: white kids. So the black people who tease you, right,
Speaker 1: were they and I'm just trying to get someplace right quick?
Speaker 1: Were they light skin or dark skin? Like? Where was
Speaker 1: it the dark skinned guys that would tease you? Yeah? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I have a friend, right, My friend is very
Speaker 1: very light skinned and she gets a lot of like
Speaker 1: a lot of hate online from brown skin dark skinned women,
Speaker 1: I mean just and she has two black parents, but
Speaker 1: she's very fair complexing. Her father was really light her
Speaker 1: dad and her mom is dark skinned Jamaican. Right, So
Speaker 1: anytime somebody has a problem with her, the first thing
Speaker 1: they're saying is, bit, you ain't even black, Bit you
Speaker 1: just dad and up And she said, you know, and
Speaker 1: she's older than us, right, she's in her fifties. She
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I don't remember this being a
Speaker 1: thing when light skinn niggas was in style. So she no,
Speaker 1: she doesn't. She doesn't remember colorism being a thing when
Speaker 1: light skinned niggas was in style. It wasn't until everybody
Speaker 1: was you know, I want tall, dark and handsome. Everybody's
Speaker 1: picking them now and they're like the you know, I
Speaker 1: guess the top of the totem pole. Everybody wants a
Speaker 1: black man. You know what I'm saying. Light skinned men
Speaker 1: catch hate and heat all the time. So is it
Speaker 1: because like dark skinned men are now like the it
Speaker 1: why black women are experiencing colorism because light skin men,
Speaker 1: Like everybody, I attract light skin men. I've always liked
Speaker 1: dark skin man. Yeah, we that's our preference. We like brown,
Speaker 1: dark skin men. I always or at least like color
Speaker 1: and darker. But to go like we are good to go,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Um, I don't know, because
Speaker 1: like I said, growing up, I would I wouldn't say
Speaker 1: it's mostly dark skinned. I think it was a mixture,
Speaker 1: but it was it was predominantly dark skinned. Um with them,
Speaker 1: I mean, black men are always it for me though,
Speaker 1: Like I just felt like they were always popping for
Speaker 1: every woman. I never remember a time when black men
Speaker 1: were not like well that's because you're only twenty five.
Speaker 1: There was a time when light skins growing up, like
Speaker 1: all the girls with like googly eyed over the black guys,
Speaker 1: and the black guys, will you know look the other
Speaker 1: way towards me, They're like, get out of my face.
Speaker 1: I don't want you. I don't want the latinas, I
Speaker 1: don't want the white girl. So I don't know. And
Speaker 1: it's because probably because they got teased for being dark.
Speaker 1: So now and then, it's just kind of weird because
Speaker 1: dark skinned people will go out their way to create
Speaker 1: light skinned people. They create the light skin people that
Speaker 1: they hate. So this is like the other side of colorism.
Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying. Yeah, I've never seen
Speaker 1: I never saw it like that. That's wow. Who created
Speaker 1: light skinned people? White people? But I mean we perpetuated
Speaker 1: in our community. You know, in Africa, everybody comes to
Speaker 1: different colors. I don't know why. I here is the
Speaker 1: thing like it's especially so we're gonna take it to
Speaker 1: Nigeria real quick. Right Ebo people, Right, the Ebo people,
Speaker 1: a lot of them are light skin naturally, like very
Speaker 1: light skinned. So I don't know, I can't necessarily say
Speaker 1: white people created we like ed might have started with them,
Speaker 1: like with the house Negro, the field Negro, this that,
Speaker 1: and the third right. But within the black community, we
Speaker 1: definitely uh continue pushing it, the colorism and racism within
Speaker 1: our own race m amongst each other. Yeah, we do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we give things hierarchy, like the light skin girl like
Speaker 1: even so what's sweetie? And too short? So Sweetie, I
Speaker 1: watched the video one day, and Sweetie, she looked so
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with him saying these things. But how else do
Speaker 1: you elevate her without knocking these people down? Is what
Speaker 1: he was doing. So you're knocking down the regular black woman,
Speaker 1: the brown skinl this and we're beautiful, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Skin just even saying the regular black woman,
Speaker 1: she's not regular, she's just she's a black woman. That
Speaker 1: doesn't make it, you know, it's like knocking down the
Speaker 1: regular black But she's mixed, Sweetie is like Korean or
Speaker 1: something in black. She's not completely black, right, So what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about is just a black woman who identifies
Speaker 1: as a black woman, who has two black parents, not mixed.
Speaker 1: When I say a regular black woman, So I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm not calling black women regular by any means, but
Speaker 1: she was clearly because she identifies as a black woman.
Speaker 1: Sweet identifies as a black woman. Again, I always say this.
Speaker 1: You know, black to me is not a race, is
Speaker 1: not a color. It is literally a culture. Okay, you
Speaker 1: can identify with the black culture. But we have had
Speaker 1: all these different, different definitions assigned to us in Black America,
Speaker 1: which is why I think I love the fact that
Speaker 1: you actually studied this in school, which a lot of
Speaker 1: people probably should so they can have a better understanding
Speaker 1: of what's going on and this and this hair equal
Speaker 1: system because it is different. It's different in Africa, is
Speaker 1: different here. Even though we're the same people, they're there
Speaker 1: are people in Africa who may not consider themselves black.
Speaker 1: They identify what whatever tribe they come from, you know,
Speaker 1: so would would they consider themselves black though, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not black, I'm Ebo. No, you'd be like, I'm still black.
Speaker 1: I'm just I mean, I think it depends when you're
Speaker 1: talking to you, like I'm Urba and Ebo so like,
Speaker 1: but out like when I'm like when i'm you know,
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, I just say I'm a black girl unless
Speaker 1: you ask me, like what I like in America? Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're in in Africa. Would that be the same
Speaker 1: thing though, if you were back home. I mean, we
Speaker 1: just I don't. I don't. I don't know because I
Speaker 1: guess we're all black, so we're just kind of like,
Speaker 1: you know, where are you from? I'm Ruba, what do you?
Speaker 1: Where do you? I'm Ebo, so kind of I think,
Speaker 1: go buy your tribes. I guess like I don't ever
Speaker 1: actually heard anybody, and I'd be like, I'm a black girl.
Speaker 1: Like they just be like, I'm an Ebo girl. I'm
Speaker 1: because most people are black, So it's like it would
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be a determining factor. I wish we could
Speaker 1: get away from saying black and African American. I really
Speaker 1: wish we could get away from that. But we don't
Speaker 1: have a tribe. A lot of people don't have a
Speaker 1: tribe to associate themselves with. We could create some ship
Speaker 1: or there. There there are tribes you probably can trace
Speaker 1: your lineage back to, so that we can get away
Speaker 1: from that, you know, from using those terms. But that's
Speaker 1: what it's a big thing. That's what people needhould go by.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, I don't know. Should y'all have a
Speaker 1: good time where I definitely when I saw everybody in
Speaker 1: uh Ayana this past New Year's and I know Ghana
Speaker 1: they're offering people citizenship even even outside of Dati December,
Speaker 1: Like just go, like go doing this on my time.
Speaker 1: I want to say, like June, it's beautiful. Africa is
Speaker 1: fun like West Africa. Let me I don't let me
Speaker 1: not talk about all of Africa. I'm West African and
Speaker 1: I have never been to South Africa before, but I
Speaker 1: know it's beautiful down there. But Nigeria is fun like
Speaker 1: nine Jia. You will have a good time obviously, like
Speaker 1: be safe, but like the people are welcoming, the food
Speaker 1: is good. M hmm. What about that yellow fever vaccine?
Speaker 1: Can I go without you? So you have to get
Speaker 1: a yellow fever vaccine? But it's I don't me personally.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a big deal because I've had
Speaker 1: it since I was a kid, you know what I mean. Um,
Speaker 1: But I think it's to protect you because like you
Speaker 1: have to also remember we're going to a new continent,
Speaker 1: right so like when I got um, I had COVID
Speaker 1: when I got into Nigeria one time, COVID mixed with malaria.
Speaker 1: It's not a game. It is not a game like
Speaker 1: because it's it's I don't know how explain it. It's
Speaker 1: we also don't have the same medical assistance as in
Speaker 1: America in Nigeria, so when you get sick, like you're
Speaker 1: really like, it's just it's just not a game. Get
Speaker 1: the vaccine. What I'm gonna say it was, Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was terrible. I'll get the paperwork. Let's be clear. I
Speaker 1: know a guy because that was fair about traveling. Damn,
Speaker 1: I'm never going to make it to Africa now if
Speaker 1: I gotta get all these vaccines, like, I'm not for it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: me neither. But you know, I'm not like against some vaccines,
Speaker 1: like new as vaccines that haven't been tested for a
Speaker 1: long time. I'm against those, but like the yellow fever
Speaker 1: vaccine has been wild for a while around for a while, right,
Speaker 1: But because I have MS, I don't think yellow fever
Speaker 1: vaccine is good for me, you know. Like so I'm
Speaker 1: not sure. Maybe you can talk to somebody about it,
Speaker 1: but I've gotten named, My brothers have gotten there. Everybody
Speaker 1: I know that goes back home gets it, so they
Speaker 1: get nothing. I'm trying to go out there and see
Speaker 1: what the men talking about, because I know they like
Speaker 1: big booties out there and I got one of the women.
Speaker 1: Nigerian men are beautiful. Yeah, we're gonna have to import
Speaker 1: one from some place because the black men in America
Speaker 1: do not. I won't say they don't. Okay, let's let's
Speaker 1: stop generalizing a little bit, but when we speak about
Speaker 1: these things, they act like it doesn't exist. I was
Speaker 1: watching a Holst on your page, Effie, and I saw
Speaker 1: a guy commented it was like that's cap and her
Speaker 1: p o V. Was, you're a black woman trying to
Speaker 1: date in l A and a black man is basically
Speaker 1: like dismissing that you know as not true and that's
Speaker 1: our experience. To me, like reading comments like that sometimes
Speaker 1: like I don't know how you're gonna dismiss my experience
Speaker 1: as a black woman, because when you're a black man,
Speaker 1: like you don't even like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Like you're not experiencing what I have to go through.
Speaker 1: You're part of the problem. Like what do you mean
Speaker 1: If you're not acknowledging the issues we're bringing forward, then
Speaker 1: you're not helping. You're not a solution. You're part of
Speaker 1: the problem that you're not trying to you're not trying
Speaker 1: to learn. You're not trying to do better, You're just
Speaker 1: trying to fight. You're being defensive, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So that's my experience dating in l A Like it's
Speaker 1: kind of just like it's like you have to tiptoe
Speaker 1: kind of like, hey, do you like black I said
Speaker 1: that on the episode. I said, I think Black women
Speaker 1: are the only group of women when we see an
Speaker 1: attractive man, like somebody we would date, because we always,
Speaker 1: you know, fantasize in our minds when we see somebody
Speaker 1: like what's your am data birth? I need all that ship, right,
Speaker 1: But we're the only group of women that have to
Speaker 1: say damn, I wonder if he likes women. Damn, I
Speaker 1: wonder if he likes Black women, Like we actually have
Speaker 1: to have like run down those internal questions when we
Speaker 1: see a guy that's attractive. I don't think any group
Speaker 1: of women have to do like white women don't have
Speaker 1: to say damn, I wonder if he likes white women
Speaker 1: because their men are not marrying outside of their you know,
Speaker 1: outside of the race. Are you talking about with other
Speaker 1: white men, Yeah, there men. You know, black men they're
Speaker 1: at the top with marrying outside of their community. They
Speaker 1: are so it's it's it's black men and white women,
Speaker 1: and then, um, this is a statistic I read and
Speaker 1: so it said like the marriages that actually last the
Speaker 1: longest are black women and Asian men, which I think
Speaker 1: about that really I would, I don't know, Like that's shocking.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know that so Asian men are
Speaker 1: like the least sought after while Black men are at
Speaker 1: like at the top, and Black women are at least.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's changing, though, Like I really genuinely
Speaker 1: feel like it's changing, like I I maybe I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. I just feel like now people
Speaker 1: are starting to really see the beauty and us, which
Speaker 1: is sad that it's taken so long and there's still growth,
Speaker 1: you know. Like I'm not saying like we are the
Speaker 1: most sought out there, like we are the most like
Speaker 1: people see us as the most amazing, which they should.
Speaker 1: But I do think a change has happened. There has
Speaker 1: been a shift because I'm going online and I'm seeing
Speaker 1: so many people talking like dating black women, wanting black women,
Speaker 1: craving us. I don't know if it's a fetish. I
Speaker 1: don't even amongst women, you think it's a metish. I mean, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I don't know. Can you feel it?
Speaker 1: In l A? I feel like I don't feel unattractive
Speaker 1: in l A, I feel fat And in Charlotte, UM think,
Speaker 1: l A, I'm the fat girl? Why are you? I
Speaker 1: was like this this, you know what it's like that girl,
Speaker 1: like that girl when she walked in, I was like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, she's to toe like just bomb, thank
Speaker 1: you friend. But see it is women we look at
Speaker 1: each other like that. How are the men saying? I
Speaker 1: feel like they're starting to, Like, I feel like there's
Speaker 1: men that really do appreciate us like I will not.
Speaker 1: I can't say, like a lot of black men are right,
Speaker 1: It's like there's something that you know that are just
Speaker 1: like ill black women whatever. But there's some that will
Speaker 1: genuinely appreciate a beautiful black woman. But of course it's
Speaker 1: like fighting. It's like a needle in a haystack. Because
Speaker 1: I feel that didn't you have somebody say something real
Speaker 1: disparaging about you? Tammy recently from another podcast, who's actually
Speaker 1: on this network kind of in in partnership, Cassie, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so is this guy? And I thought he was taking
Speaker 1: some interest in me honestly, and he says he's not
Speaker 1: interested in dating unless the woman looks like Cassie. And
Speaker 1: I was so offended by the delusion when people say
Speaker 1: stuff like that, like I just want them to like,
Speaker 1: you know, I want to pop that little delusional bubble
Speaker 1: and like bring them back to reality because it be
Speaker 1: the most basic face looking niggad that says it. Who
Speaker 1: is a girl like that want you? Who says like who?
Speaker 1: How do we know? Like what if you don't want
Speaker 1: you don't have exactly. I don't think men consider that.
Speaker 1: They think if they like you, you automatically like them,
Speaker 1: as if women don't have the right to have preference.
Speaker 1: It's delusion, Yes, it's but we're the ones that need
Speaker 1: to bring it down and not really men are way
Speaker 1: more shallow than women. And you can all people argue
Speaker 1: with me about that ship all the time, but you're
Speaker 1: not going to catch a fine ass dude with an
Speaker 1: ugly woman. I mean, I know women date men for
Speaker 1: different things, different reasons, but you can always catch a
Speaker 1: fine ass woman with a nigga who's challenged in the
Speaker 1: face because that money whatever else. No, I know, like,
Speaker 1: there's this girl and she was very this person but
Speaker 1: she was aesthetically challenged, That's what I'll say. And she
Speaker 1: had this fine asked man I'm talking about he was gorgeous,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's some boy funck. I mean, she
Speaker 1: has this popping on her face while you're talking, kind
Speaker 1: of girl like like, Oh, that's what I go for.
Speaker 1: I'd be going for personality. No, I found out what
Speaker 1: it was because she has adult personality. But she was tricking.
Speaker 1: She was big, tricking on she was big, y'all. Remember
Speaker 1: that this went viral on social media. But and this
Speaker 1: goes outside of the colorism discussion, but remember it was
Speaker 1: a girl. She was like, um, men date big women,
Speaker 1: like when they don't have their ship together. You don't
Speaker 1: remember that podcast there was a woman saying it. It
Speaker 1: was a woman saying because the bigger women I get,
Speaker 1: I don't know, they may take care of men, and
Speaker 1: that might be a thing, just the same way why
Speaker 1: I think some black men go to white women to
Speaker 1: be taken care of, but not it has to be
Speaker 1: a big woman with low self esteem because I know
Speaker 1: some Listen, I got mine many times. That's where I
Speaker 1: got my ex is always cheating with a big bitch
Speaker 1: and like big pretty bitches. It got to the point
Speaker 1: where I would be in target. I'm seeing a big,
Speaker 1: light skinned pretty girl, and I'm like, I'm mad at
Speaker 1: her because I know my nigga. Fuck Like, I'm mad,
Speaker 1: I'm holding grudges against somebody who don't even know me
Speaker 1: nor my man, but because he'd be cheating on me
Speaker 1: with these big bitches, Like, I'm like mad, So I
Speaker 1: disagree with that, lady, because you know, it just depends
Speaker 1: on preference, you know, I like, I like, I genuinely
Speaker 1: fall in love with people for their personality and their soul,
Speaker 1: Like I like, you know, like if you are a
Speaker 1: good man and you have a good heart and you
Speaker 1: are family oriented, I will give you a chance. But see,
Speaker 1: that's that's women. Women be like, he grew on me.
Speaker 1: You ain't never nigga saying she grew on him. Women
Speaker 1: do that. Men do not do that. They're bit he
Speaker 1: liked her from the first Women, men definitely, uh are
Speaker 1: more visual characters and more visual Women date men for
Speaker 1: different things, you know, not just looks. That's not at
Speaker 1: the top of our list. But me as a woman
Speaker 1: with no children, and y'all should also consider this. I
Speaker 1: had a middle school teacher tell me that, you know,
Speaker 1: if you ugly, you're gonna have a hard time in life.
Speaker 1: He really told us that in middle school. And we
Speaker 1: also know what colorism, uh, socialism, all those things. We
Speaker 1: have pretty privilege right now. I'm not saying I need
Speaker 1: the finest man out here, right but I also don't
Speaker 1: want my children to be super aesthetically challenged because I
Speaker 1: love the nigger aesthetically challenging this term. I'm sorry somebody
Speaker 1: left the left the uh A remark on um the
Speaker 1: show because I said, you know, I like to hang
Speaker 1: around pretty women. I know y'all, y'all have been around
Speaker 1: not so cute women are usually the ones that's the
Speaker 1: maddest when you join all the funship a lot of
Speaker 1: times you know, in the group. So just to keep
Speaker 1: down on that, like what I mean. And also again
Speaker 1: it's in the eye of the beholder. Like my friend
Speaker 1: could very well, I could be ugly to a lot
Speaker 1: of people. My friend could be ugly to people, But
Speaker 1: to me, these bitches is fine. So that's this is
Speaker 1: what I meant by that. But we're not gonna act
Speaker 1: like pretty privileged doesn't It doesn't exist, It really does.
Speaker 1: I went to the courthouse with a pillow in my
Speaker 1: pocket the other day and I forgot and I did
Speaker 1: not go to jail. And I did not go to jail, y'all.
Speaker 1: I did not go to jail. I was supposed to
Speaker 1: be locked. The man asked me, the police asked me
Speaker 1: for my phone number and told me to go back
Speaker 1: to my car. Stupid, he said, take that gun back
Speaker 1: to your car. Stupid. But I did not know pretty.
Speaker 1: I'm growing up. I didn't think I ever had a
Speaker 1: pretty privilege, like like at all. Like I've seen it
Speaker 1: work for like again, lighter skinning girls and everything, but
Speaker 1: I never, like I said, I never thought I was ugly.
Speaker 1: But I never thought I met the standards of beauty
Speaker 1: out here, you know what I mean? Growing now, Like
Speaker 1: when I get like when people heap me up and
Speaker 1: be like you're so beautiful, it's not like it's so
Speaker 1: hard for me to like read it sometimes because like
Speaker 1: I was never told that growing up from my parents,
Speaker 1: YE have se you know, family, but like from society,
Speaker 1: I was never told that. I was told, you got
Speaker 1: a big nose, your eyes are far apart, your lips
Speaker 1: are too big, you're you're you're you're not thin, you're
Speaker 1: you're thicker, like you know, so pretty privilege is real,
Speaker 1: but I never I felt like I never experienced pretty
Speaker 1: privilege living in l A until I've gotten older. And
Speaker 1: I think pretty privilege also starts from within. When I
Speaker 1: started believing that I was it like I was bad
Speaker 1: that I was before I carried myself with that confidence,
Speaker 1: I started that like other people started looking at me
Speaker 1: with it like the same way. But it's hard to
Speaker 1: develop that confidence when you're around people that don't look
Speaker 1: like you and are praised for looking the way they do,
Speaker 1: and you are basically look down for making the way
Speaker 1: you look. It's nothing you about it at such a
Speaker 1: young age, you know, so pretty for real. But I
Speaker 1: feel like it also stems from inside. If you believe
Speaker 1: that you are like the baddest and you carry yourself
Speaker 1: with that utmost confidence and you walk into the room
Speaker 1: even if you look a mess, if you believe that
Speaker 1: you are bad people in that same energy, you know,
Speaker 1: I five, you know, yeah, confidence is your best that
Speaker 1: you carry. Really it is, even even if you're faking it.
Speaker 1: Take that smile to make it. And I always tell
Speaker 1: people like another female, like people will not see me
Speaker 1: sweat out here, like you're not. No girl can get
Speaker 1: under my skin. I'll cry a house. Listen, I'll crying
Speaker 1: my bed. But when I'm outside you you can't catch
Speaker 1: me like do not because people take that as weakness
Speaker 1: and I am not awake. You know period, you know period,
Speaker 1: you will not treat me as such. Yeah, so that
Speaker 1: I mean, but that attitude takes developing, right, So we're
Speaker 1: talking about like things that happened as a child, like yeah,
Speaker 1: like that that built this now this beautiful woman, this
Speaker 1: character that that exudes all as bad bitches. Um okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know how we fight that though. For the
Speaker 1: younger girls, I don't know. He started. We start telling
Speaker 1: them at a young age that they are it, they
Speaker 1: are beautiful. We start letting. We start getting them dolls
Speaker 1: that look like them. That's what my father, my dad
Speaker 1: would get me, black dolls. My dad is my that
Speaker 1: is my best friend. I love him to pieces. But
Speaker 1: we start and we started showing more representation. We start
Speaker 1: showing them role model. So growing up, my father would
Speaker 1: always show me condolesa rice and he would be like
Speaker 1: this woman just out of that, she's been she's a government,
Speaker 1: she's just you. You can be like that. You can
Speaker 1: you can be powerful? You know? And I started, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm hearing it from my father. This is somebody
Speaker 1: I love dearly, this is somebody I look up to.
Speaker 1: So when we start feeding it to them at a
Speaker 1: young agent, and even in schools, making sure that they
Speaker 1: see teachers that look like them, they see doctors, that's
Speaker 1: how we start getting the confidence up, because when you're
Speaker 1: not seeing people like I was. For example, my university,
Speaker 1: we have a thirty percent dropout rate by second semester
Speaker 1: for African American students. And when I asked some of
Speaker 1: these people like why are you leaving? One with money?
Speaker 1: Financial too, is like I don't feel like I belonged here,
Speaker 1: Like what's the point of me doing this? There's nobody.
Speaker 1: There's no teachers that look like me. There's there's nobody.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, that's why you're here, so
Speaker 1: you can create that for the next generation. I don't
Speaker 1: know what school it was or was it in the Midwest,
Speaker 1: but the black they started a black step group. Did
Speaker 1: you see that? It was USC So it's a lot
Speaker 1: of controversy surrounding that because it's like, why don't you
Speaker 1: just go to an HBCU, right as opposed to bring
Speaker 1: in HBCU culture to a p W. I I wanted
Speaker 1: to go to the hbc U I did. I wanted
Speaker 1: to go to Howard because my father went to Howard UM.
Speaker 1: But then at the same time, I didn't want to
Speaker 1: go to Howard because I got bullied a lot from
Speaker 1: you know, by black people, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I was scared. I was like, if I go, what
Speaker 1: if I'm not accepted. And I was accepted more by,
Speaker 1: like I said, my white peers. So I was just like, yo,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I mean, if I experienced racism here,
Speaker 1: it's like I can handle that. I can't. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm too scared to handle rejection from my own people.
Speaker 1: I can't because I wouldn't even know how to fight that.
Speaker 1: Like I would just be like how do I can't
Speaker 1: change myself, Like this is what it is. And it
Speaker 1: may not have been like that if I actually want
Speaker 1: it may not be like that at all, but I
Speaker 1: already had that instilled in my head. Yeah, the values
Speaker 1: within the black man in America, they just have to change.
Speaker 1: It's like not cool to be smart, right, It's not
Speaker 1: cool to have not grown up in the hood. Um,
Speaker 1: I used to get teased. Not well, nobody could ever
Speaker 1: tease me because I got an hour at the stand
Speaker 1: up comedy for anybody. And that's been since first grade.
Speaker 1: But I remember being on the school bus when our
Speaker 1: bus started picking up a neighborhood across the street. They
Speaker 1: would be in the back of the bus like, y'all
Speaker 1: don't even got no trash on your street? Like what
Speaker 1: you're talking ship to us, because we don't have trash
Speaker 1: on our streets. And you know, you can live in
Speaker 1: the hood, it doesn't have to look like it though.
Speaker 1: You can live in a hood and then you still
Speaker 1: take care of your community. That's what it balls down to.
Speaker 1: Who cares that it's low income? It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: look like low income. And that's just something that we
Speaker 1: have to work on as a collective in America because
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't. We don't, uh, black and Black
Speaker 1: Americans don't have enough pride. I think we don't have
Speaker 1: enough pride in being black. We say we do, but
Speaker 1: we don't have enough. We say it, but it is
Speaker 1: it actually exuded, you know, physically exactly black lives. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you know, why why does a student come from
Speaker 1: Africa and then because I hear this, I have other
Speaker 1: friends that are also African and they have the same stories, like,
Speaker 1: you know, they grew up hanging out with the white
Speaker 1: kids because they were teased by the black kids, you know.
Speaker 1: And now as adults we could kind of flip that
Speaker 1: a little bit and say, hey, they come up with
Speaker 1: all type of words from Black Americans African adults, right,
Speaker 1: so now it's kind of like it's cool to be
Speaker 1: from Africa. Now, put you the chiky on to go
Speaker 1: watch Black Panther and ship like that. But you tease kids,
Speaker 1: you know, when you were younger. So I mean, it's
Speaker 1: it's a part of a growing um just people. Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot of self hate. Ship. We just
Speaker 1: have to work through and it and it's the things
Speaker 1: that you were taught. Because I ain't gonna lie. When
Speaker 1: I was a little kid, I never did. I never
Speaker 1: ever did it. But we it would be back and forth.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be just me. Yeah, it would be like
Speaker 1: they talking ship too, you know, and it was like
Speaker 1: different ship that I didn't understand. And that's why I did.
Speaker 1: Like because I walked into they were they had came
Speaker 1: they were washing their feet in the sink at school,
Speaker 1: and being a black American, I had never seen that.
Speaker 1: So I was like, bitch, get your foot out the sint.
Speaker 1: But I didn't know what. You know, it was part
Speaker 1: of their culture. I don't know what why they were
Speaker 1: doing it. And I do remember like saying, bitch, get
Speaker 1: your foot out the saint. I'm sorry I remember saying that.
Speaker 1: But so I can't understand where why someone would grow
Speaker 1: up as an African in America and be like y'all,
Speaker 1: it's like I get it sometimes when like the Africans
Speaker 1: are like you know, A B and C. I get
Speaker 1: it and like because like you know, we've all dealt
Speaker 1: with well as an African child, like we all dealt
Speaker 1: with some type of discrimination because we are African. Um.
Speaker 1: But again, Africana Studies has opened my eyes a little
Speaker 1: bit and people be like, oh, Nigerian's or Africans think
Speaker 1: they're better than us. We're not. We don't think we're better,
Speaker 1: but just prideful people because imagine and coming here and
Speaker 1: then getting bullied and ridiculed by everybody by some random
Speaker 1: bits talking about why you're fooding. We just have so
Speaker 1: much pride within ourselves and we love our culture and
Speaker 1: we love ourselves so much that you can't break us down.
Speaker 1: So we have we we we are very prideful people,
Speaker 1: you know. And like if I'll tell anybody, I'm proud
Speaker 1: to be a Nigerian, Like there's there's I love that
Speaker 1: about myself. So like when I see people say like, oh,
Speaker 1: Africans are they think they're better, It's like, no, we
Speaker 1: don't think we're better. We we are just proud. We're
Speaker 1: very prideful people because when our parents came here and
Speaker 1: they were knocked down, When we go to school and
Speaker 1: we're bullied, we can't just break. There's none of there's
Speaker 1: none of that breaking in an African household. There's none
Speaker 1: of that. If I tell my mom my dad this
Speaker 1: guy called me ugly, my dad would looking at my face,
Speaker 1: but like are you ugly? And that's it. That is
Speaker 1: the end of it. There's no going to school, there's
Speaker 1: no going teacher, there's none of that. Like you gotta
Speaker 1: tough en up. So it's I'm glad that you know
Speaker 1: you talked about it, like how you used to be
Speaker 1: the one to make um talk, to make fun of
Speaker 1: the Africans. Because the step, the first step to healing
Speaker 1: is not which man and like understanding. So like I,
Speaker 1: like I said, I've been bullying. I was president of
Speaker 1: b as she in high school, the black I was
Speaker 1: impeached because I wasn't black enough. What is black enough?
Speaker 1: So hold on what? Yeah, because I want to hear
Speaker 1: what did they say that we're not really black? So
Speaker 1: you couldn't identify? You do not with what it was
Speaker 1: to be black Americans? Yes, exactly there, like you don't
Speaker 1: understand us, so why should you be the president of
Speaker 1: black student union? And that broke me because people got
Speaker 1: that like we gotta let that hate and that hurt go.
Speaker 1: That's all it is. They're just a lot of hurt.
Speaker 1: But I was never did it. I was never. I
Speaker 1: was I was never because the way my father raised
Speaker 1: me is to love everyone. My dad went to Howard University.
Speaker 1: He's a Nigerian man. If you if you ever meet
Speaker 1: this man, six something, dark skinned African man, Nigerian accent everything.
Speaker 1: But he always told me he was like I dealt
Speaker 1: with the same thing, but we can't be angry because
Speaker 1: they just don't know and some people have different you know,
Speaker 1: you know, perspective on that. But that tell my father
Speaker 1: raised me and my mother you know, so, yeah, are
Speaker 1: your parents? Are you asking? You trying to get at
Speaker 1: her daddy? Look it's been Look I'm literally over here
Speaker 1: calculating I had an abortion as this team, this bitch
Speaker 1: could have been my child. I could definitely funk with
Speaker 1: her daddy. Like I'm literally calculating out in my mind.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, fraid I wasn't a girl. I ain't trying
Speaker 1: to funk your daddy. I don't know what people man
Speaker 1: who married a you're about woman, brought her to l
Speaker 1: A and gave her house, gave her the kids. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's beautiful. And see that's why you have the mindset
Speaker 1: that you have. You come from a two parent household.
Speaker 1: I just really feel like that's so important that we grow.
Speaker 1: We raised our children in it too. That's another thing
Speaker 1: that's not more valued. We're trying. We're trying to get there.
Speaker 1: That's why it's hard. Dating is hard, Like it's because
Speaker 1: in my head, like the way my father treated my
Speaker 1: mother is that's that's what I look for, Like not
Speaker 1: reminded me of my father, the way the effort he
Speaker 1: put into my mom is not going to work. Only
Speaker 1: because I see that that type of love exists. I
Speaker 1: want it. I want my kids happy mommy and daddy
Speaker 1: like in love and at your parent household my dad
Speaker 1: taking me to soccer practice. I went to private school,
Speaker 1: like I want that life for my kids. That's where
Speaker 1: I had growing up, you know, And it makes dating
Speaker 1: very difficult sometimes because sometimes people don't see that. You know,
Speaker 1: they don't have that connection, but they don't see that
Speaker 1: type of mindset that I have. Like I'm in school
Speaker 1: for my master's. Right when I graduated high school my bachelor's.
Speaker 1: My mom looked at me, was like, okay, so you
Speaker 1: graduated high school with the bachelors. No, no, I went
Speaker 1: I got I'm my graduated high school and I got
Speaker 1: my bachelor's in Kinesi and that. They were like, that's
Speaker 1: basically going to elementary. I'm almost like okay, and then
Speaker 1: now I'm doing my my masters and my mom was like, okay,
Speaker 1: maybe we'll throw your party this time. Maybe like maybe,
Speaker 1: but like I come, but when you get your pH d.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't think I'm doing that one. I
Speaker 1: had to I just sit my parents down break the
Speaker 1: news to them because this master's okay yeah, Because Nigerian
Speaker 1: parents are like, you need to be a doctor, engineer,
Speaker 1: a lawyer or something like that. That that broke my
Speaker 1: mom's heart, me even me telling everyone. I mean, like
Speaker 1: I said, I'm talking to someone. But if I told
Speaker 1: her like I wasn't gonna marry Nigerian, she would have
Speaker 1: a heart attack, a real my heart attack. So let's
Speaker 1: get into that. Are you dating and Nigerian? Now? Like,
Speaker 1: because when we met, you was like, I'm single and
Speaker 1: fun like me to a girl. Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: Um Nigerian? Okay, yeah, he's Nigerian and where'd you meet? Um?
Speaker 1: I've known him for a long time. And then um,
Speaker 1: we just didn't talk for a while, and then we
Speaker 1: started talking back up. And then it was just like
Speaker 1: we just jeld really well, and how y'all started talking
Speaker 1: back up. I don't really check who watches my stories
Speaker 1: like that, because you know, there's always a lot of
Speaker 1: people that watches my stories. And then one day I
Speaker 1: was just seeing watched my stories and I saw his
Speaker 1: name pop up. I was like, I haven't seen him
Speaker 1: in a while, Like how is he doing? Just to
Speaker 1: check up on him. Then I want his page and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, he's I forgot how cute he goes?
Speaker 1: I was like, is he is? He? Is he single?
Speaker 1: Because he's you know, he's good looking, he's tall, you know,
Speaker 1: so I just hit him up. I was like hey, hey,
Speaker 1: you know and then I was like real quick question
Speaker 1: straight to it. Are you single? And then he told
Speaker 1: me yeah, and then he was like the period, let's
Speaker 1: be good like you single to let's get this and
Speaker 1: then yeah and just so yeah, long story short, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm talking from So are there like is it a
Speaker 1: large community of Africans in l A? Because that was
Speaker 1: my question when when dam told me he's not. Oh
Speaker 1: you said that, So this guy is not in l A.
Speaker 1: So okay, so it would have been impossible for you
Speaker 1: to find it's gonna it's impossible for you to find
Speaker 1: your mate in l A at this point. It's what
Speaker 1: you're saying. I just feel like my I just feel
Speaker 1: like I can't where he don't want to like the
Speaker 1: Atlanta Okay, Oh that's good. Listen. I went on a
Speaker 1: date with a Nigerian man when I first moved to
Speaker 1: Atlanta years ago. I'm literally on a date with a man.
Speaker 1: You'll hear that part right. A man invited me out
Speaker 1: planning the place. I'm literally on a date with a
Speaker 1: man that says Atlanta is no place to find a mate.
Speaker 1: That's what he told me on a date. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: why the funk are we out? So the man you
Speaker 1: were actually on a date with said exactly holiday at
Speaker 1: me in the club. That's how we ended up here, right,
Speaker 1: And you're telling me And we're still good friends, Like
Speaker 1: we talked periodically, so this is a long ast time ago,
Speaker 1: but we still But he's still not married, still having
Speaker 1: no kids. You know what I really feel like they're
Speaker 1: like when I meet a man and I was like,
Speaker 1: where are you from, they'd be like, that's why I
Speaker 1: asked where he was from, just to make sure he
Speaker 1: wasn't in Atlanta. So he'll say, you might do well,
Speaker 1: you might do well, you know I I guess he's Nigerian.
Speaker 1: Would be the first Nigerian guy actually, Like, you might
Speaker 1: move to I want gonna move to Houston. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you've been in l A your whole life. Time for
Speaker 1: a change. Yeah, that's take a chance. I don't know, Oh,
Speaker 1: come in to America home. Sorry to get your want
Speaker 1: that for you? I want that for me too. But
Speaker 1: you know, we'll see. It's great because he's Ebo like
Speaker 1: my dad. So people men be taking the otherwise. So
Speaker 1: all right, For do you have any advice for women
Speaker 1: in l A trying to meet a black man? What
Speaker 1: would you say? What advice would you give him? Just
Speaker 1: be ready, don't like, just have your confidence of because
Speaker 1: it's like you know how they say, like if you
Speaker 1: go to a casting call, you're gonna get a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of nose before you get a yes. The same thing.
Speaker 1: Just be ready to be ready to hear I don't
Speaker 1: date black women. Just be ready to hear some nonsense
Speaker 1: of like or I think one guy said, oh, I
Speaker 1: like your skin tone. Where do you from? I said,
Speaker 1: I'm Nigerian. He's like, that's why you're that color. I'm like, sir,
Speaker 1: like what are you talking about? What are you even
Speaker 1: talking about? So I just get ready for ignorant statements.
Speaker 1: And also don't be afraid to put your foot down
Speaker 1: and say no if you don't accept someone to treat
Speaker 1: you a certain way, because they will try it. And
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not just saying black men will try it.
Speaker 1: Everybody will try it, but it's gonna we're gonna feel
Speaker 1: it more because it's coming from us, you know, what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I I guess my my advice would
Speaker 1: be like just make sure your confidences of and never
Speaker 1: let your crown tilt because l A is not it's
Speaker 1: not for the week. I said, it's really for the week.
Speaker 1: So insecure is a big facade right used to raise insecure.
Speaker 1: There's really like no black black relationships and okay, they're
Speaker 1: all they probably came together, maybe not, or they imported
Speaker 1: somebody from someplace else. It's well like if you're like
Speaker 1: me and you don't date l A guys, maybe but
Speaker 1: like they're they're they're they're there, but like I'm just same.
Speaker 1: Majority of the time, you do see a lot more
Speaker 1: black with somebody else. Interesting. Yeah, well it be an
Speaker 1: eight percent of the population out there. It's kind of hard.
Speaker 1: You're gonna almost have to date outside of your race
Speaker 1: and too, Like, trust me, I've been through my my
Speaker 1: fair share of like my my my home. Girls will
Speaker 1: tell your horror stories, you know, oh really, Well, we
Speaker 1: have a segment on this show called dumb Bitch Stories.
Speaker 1: Dumb Bitch Stories because we've all been a dumb bitch
Speaker 1: at least once or twice, and it's pretty much kind
Speaker 1: of like given your horror story with dating, like where
Speaker 1: someone tried to play you or a time you know
Speaker 1: you just wasn't treated fairly. Can you share one of
Speaker 1: those stories of us? M LORDI what do I want
Speaker 1: to So? I mean I could tell a little story.
Speaker 1: There's one time. Well I'm a very I like to give,
Speaker 1: I like to help people. I'm not gonna go too
Speaker 1: much into details about this because it's still embarrassing and
Speaker 1: still burns my soul. And um, like I said, I
Speaker 1: was raising household where money you give money because money
Speaker 1: comes and goes like it was never like you know,
Speaker 1: we were on our last dollar. You know, I didn't
Speaker 1: have to work a lot in my life because my
Speaker 1: dad paid for everything. So it's one dude needed help.
Speaker 1: And I don't like to loan money because I hate
Speaker 1: asking for my money back. It's the most uncomfortable thing
Speaker 1: for me. So then you know, I gave him some
Speaker 1: money when he asked me again for some money, gave
Speaker 1: him some more money because he kept he kept saying
Speaker 1: he needed help. And then he goes to me after
Speaker 1: he'd like to come the money. And then I'm still testing,
Speaker 1: like hey, are you I'm still trying to be nice
Speaker 1: to this person like I'm still trying to hey, are
Speaker 1: you okay? How are you doing? Are you all? Is
Speaker 1: everything all good? Blah blah blah blah blah. And when
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about them when because the
Speaker 1: amount tell us how much your Your daddy ain't going
Speaker 1: to mom if oh, if they ever watched this, I'm
Speaker 1: sorry dad. They're gonna tell me I to appreciate money.
Speaker 1: That's what they're gonna tell me about in total, even
Speaker 1: things like upers and stuff that I've spent. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: not too bad. I just say too bad to two
Speaker 1: bands like nah, bro, you need to run that two
Speaker 1: bands back, like I need that. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find him. Tell him right now, you don't
Speaker 1: get that money back? Girls and nigga me right now, girl,
Speaker 1: tell him right now that he'd be like posting on
Speaker 1: Instagram and stuff. And then I'm still trying to be nice,
Speaker 1: Like that's the crazy thing, like I'm still trying to,
Speaker 1: hey you good, just checking up on you. I just
Speaker 1: feel like somebody move more on my forehead. Move by
Speaker 1: the way in um my life, just so they just
Speaker 1: won't move on my forehead, like dummy, was this some
Speaker 1: one you were and no again, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was trying to get to know him, like I was
Speaker 1: trying to, like, you know, like hopefully like see where
Speaker 1: it goes. And um, yeah he showed me. He really,
Speaker 1: he took a verriage of my nice sense. Just um.
Speaker 1: And then here comes somebody that you might really like,
Speaker 1: that might need some help, and now you don't want
Speaker 1: to help them because you've already been burned by this person.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely dead. Unless I see a paycheck coming into
Speaker 1: your every week, it's dead. Like, don't don't ask me
Speaker 1: for it unless you are my man, like we are
Speaker 1: locked in. Yeah, you probably shouldn't give people money who
Speaker 1: you've never seen with money, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: They were acting like they had it though, Like that's
Speaker 1: the thing they you know that, what's the tinder swindler? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying. M m. Yeah, Like he
Speaker 1: made it seem like he was good. So like when
Speaker 1: he needed help, I was like, all right, I'll just
Speaker 1: get my money back. Yeah. Well it took you two him.
Speaker 1: It could have been worse, could have gotten claim media
Speaker 1: and you gotta you got a life lesson early Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean out with the old Houston. Every tell everybody
Speaker 1: where they can find you. Plug anything you want to
Speaker 1: plug less not so, you guys can find me on
Speaker 1: Instagram at a fete Egan which is e f e
Speaker 1: t I E g u n. Or you can find
Speaker 1: me on TikTok same name e f e T I'm
Speaker 1: e g u n. And that's that's where were But Instagram,
Speaker 1: that's that's where. That's where I be at mostly. So yes, y'all,
Speaker 1: she's a beautiful y'all go follow her and she posts
Speaker 1: a lot of funny like you posted a video as
Speaker 1: a man. Oh yeah, yeah, that that was a video.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get back into my comedic side, you know,
Speaker 1: but I feel like my sense of humor is not
Speaker 1: for everybody. I'm a little bit dark, just a little
Speaker 1: well that's for some people too, you know. I like
Speaker 1: a little dark humor every now you can laugh at ourselves.
Speaker 1: It's just like you know, all right, y'all listen. So
Speaker 1: if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday
Speaker 1: on the I Heart Radio Apple wherever the fun you
Speaker 1: get your podcast that this is your co host a
Speaker 1: j Holiday two points. Oh, y'all follow me on instagrams alograms,
Speaker 1: what's up, Tam, y'all Follow me too on Instagram official
Speaker 1: Tam BAM. I love y'all, Thank y'all for tuning in,
Speaker 1: and we'll see y'all motherfucker's next time. Remember to speak
Speaker 1: now and never hold your piece