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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 1: talked back back, and we back. What's up y'all thinking

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Speaker 1: for tuning in for a new episode that we talked back?

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Speaker 1: It's your co host A J. Holiday. What's up, Tam? Hey, y'all.

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Speaker 1: This is dedicating to you niggas and these homes and

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Speaker 1: everybody in between. A J said that, I said it today.

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Speaker 1: Hey girl, Hey y'all, what's up, Jack? How you doing?

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Speaker 1: I am in recovery mode, ch'ad my first week of three,

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Speaker 1: I gotta beat the funk up by some little bug

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Speaker 1: I picked up, probably at this house party I went

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Speaker 1: to at my home girl house. But I'm recovering. You

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Speaker 1: might have had COVID. You might have had COVID. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what COVID feels like, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: lose my taste, smell, none of that ship you know.

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Speaker 1: Reminded me of like when I was really young and

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Speaker 1: I used to have bronchitis a lot. That's that's what

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Speaker 1: it felt like. That's what COVID be feeling like. Bro. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but these things existed prior to COVID. So why why

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Speaker 1: you don't like this test? Because I feel like sometimes

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Speaker 1: the test can be contaminated. The last time I took

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Speaker 1: a COVID test, I got sick. Now, I could have

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Speaker 1: very well had COVID at that time. But I literally

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Speaker 1: took a COVID test, and in twenty four hours I

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Speaker 1: was sick from having stuck some ship out my nose.

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Speaker 1: But you was already feeling sick. That's why I was.

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Speaker 1: I took the COVID test to travel back from Jamaica.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't know. I don't. I ain't never

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Speaker 1: heard of nobody getting sick from the test. You don't know, though,

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Speaker 1: you don't know, You're right? That was my weekend, y'all.

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Speaker 1: If y'all kid, I was sick, and now I'm back.

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Speaker 1: I went to the gym yesterday. I'm here today. That's

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Speaker 1: what it is. What's up? I think I stayed in

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Speaker 1: my house? Oh no, I'm lying. I went outside. I

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Speaker 1: went to U always outside, bit you'd be lying. I

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Speaker 1: went to uh see Carlos um Miller. Carlos Miller at

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Speaker 1: the Ovens Auditorium here in Charlotte. Y'all. When I tell you,

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Speaker 1: this nigga was so funny, This nigga was so funny.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, he had me like holding on my stomach,

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Speaker 1: laughing like like laughing like that. That boy is funny.

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Speaker 1: And he also agreed to have me in a j

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Speaker 1: on eighty five South, so y'all stay too for that

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Speaker 1: this year. So that's a good time. And that's really

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Speaker 1: all I did. After I went to the show, we

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Speaker 1: all went to um O this place called Tattoos and

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Speaker 1: Booze in Charlotte to see the fight Davanta Javante. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we watched the fight there. Well, I only watched a

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Speaker 1: few minutes of it because my bullion started hurting on

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Speaker 1: my left foot and baby had to go because we

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Speaker 1: didn't have the table and I don't do that, so

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Speaker 1: I had to get up out of there. But that

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Speaker 1: was it. I love Carlos Miller like he one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite comedians and that like um, Corey Hokem, Corey

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Speaker 1: Holkem and Carlins Miller. Then my people, Corey Holcom definitely

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Speaker 1: will go there. He's one of the people who are

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Speaker 1: not afraid to say whatever the funk they want to

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Speaker 1: say at all. Yeah, and sometimes that ship might have

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Speaker 1: it's like nigger, why you say that? Like how do

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Speaker 1: you even fix your mouth? It's so embarrassed, Like I

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Speaker 1: feel embarrassed. Yeah you said that ship. He yeah, he

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Speaker 1: definitely pushed. But Carlos Miller is like he liked that

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Speaker 1: funny ass homeboy, that funny ass cousin. This nigked don't.

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Speaker 1: I don't even think he does he even write some ship.

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Speaker 1: He just be funny and then he just go out

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Speaker 1: there and start talking. Yea half of the comedy came

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Speaker 1: from the crowd. Like. It wasn't even like him telling

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Speaker 1: a joke like you know, yeah, it was like a

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Speaker 1: girl in there with a key chain with a blood

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Speaker 1: cut on it, and he did a whole set about

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Speaker 1: a blood cutter just that quick, you know, And it

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Speaker 1: wasn't you know, you couldn't have magic. Yes, magic, he's mad.

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Speaker 1: But you know the eighty five South show. They're doing

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Speaker 1: prov for that show. Two they don't really like have

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Speaker 1: a ski just go up there. I could got their food.

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Speaker 1: So it's it. That's that's a real life talent you

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Speaker 1: can't get on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah, he asked me. He

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Speaker 1: asked me, Uh, if my pussy was played by a

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Speaker 1: person in a movie, who would my pussy be? And

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Speaker 1: I just could not figure who my pussy would be.

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Speaker 1: Like I went. I eventually went with in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: my pussy would be Earth the Kid, mocking, and then

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Speaker 1: my pussy would be played by Cecily Tyson in the end,

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Speaker 1: a strong, strong pussy that all my life I had

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Speaker 1: to fight pussy. Stupid. One girl was like, my pussy

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Speaker 1: would be played by Ray. He was like, you gotta

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Speaker 1: inscutre pussy, Yo, broken pussy. Man. I'm trying to think

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Speaker 1: who mine would be played by. I don't know. Earth

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Speaker 1: the Kid is a good one, man, I don't know

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Speaker 1: that's a good way. All right, let's get into the

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Speaker 1: sins of this week stupid internet news. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if y'all watch football, I really don't, but I saw

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Speaker 1: this on social media that the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the

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Speaker 1: Cleveland Brown fourteen and in the celebration they did CPR

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Speaker 1: motions to one of the players on the field as

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Speaker 1: a victory dance. And you know, last week tomorrow, Hamlin,

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Speaker 1: you know, needed CPR on the field because he went

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Speaker 1: into cardiac arres and I just thought that was real tacky. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of disrespectful. That guy could have passed away,

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Speaker 1: Like would y'all have done it? Then? It's super disrespectful.

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Speaker 1: It's just like tasteless. I mean, the a but a

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Speaker 1: graceful God that man is still here with us, you know,

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Speaker 1: God bless him and he and and he'll never play again,

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Speaker 1: that's for sure. But I really that they would pay

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Speaker 1: him out his Phoe car track, which is a good

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Speaker 1: thing they should um do for everybody exactly. I was wondering,

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Speaker 1: like what happens in that case, because we know football

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Speaker 1: players contracts oftentimes aren't guaranteed, So do they have like

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Speaker 1: um health insurance and stuff like that, Like a regular

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Speaker 1: person would that. I'm I'm hoping so I would like

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Speaker 1: to think so anyway, But that's whack as fun that

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Speaker 1: they did that. Yeah, Like that's traumatic experience for everybody

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Speaker 1: that was on the field during that time. And y'all

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Speaker 1: whack is hell for that. And it was just last week. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: y'all don't mean wait, it was just last week. I

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Speaker 1: hope they get some kind of fine for that ship. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Samon's good. He tweeted Saturday, uh and he was like,

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Speaker 1: who won? The doctor told him that he won the

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Speaker 1: Game of life? Period. Black people are so funny, man.

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Speaker 1: We could turn like some really bad ship into a

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Speaker 1: good time all the time? Are we taking and run

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Speaker 1: out like doing CPR That was stupid stupid internet news

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Speaker 1: and other stupid Internet news. Young Thug Um trial is

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Speaker 1: due to begin, I believe in the next coming weeks anyway,

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Speaker 1: but right now they're in jury selection. So while injury selection,

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Speaker 1: the judge um, he's basically reading out the lyrics of

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Speaker 1: some of Young Thug songs in court. And I thought

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Speaker 1: that the jurors are supposed to be like, um, you know,

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Speaker 1: non biased, like they should know all these details about

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Speaker 1: the case, about the case until they're actually selected to

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Speaker 1: be a juror. So to me, it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: they're almost taming the jury already convicting Young Thug if

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Speaker 1: this is how they're now handling sh in court. So

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Speaker 1: I know in California they threw out using lyrics in court,

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Speaker 1: but apparently this still stands in the state of Georgia,

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Speaker 1: where they will use um rapp lyrics in particular because

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Speaker 1: we do have the most violent music, right they are

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Speaker 1: now using lyrics against uh these artists in court. And

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Speaker 1: I mean we're in a place like Atlanta. They're in

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Speaker 1: a place like Atlanta, Georgia. Everybody's a fucking rapper. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's like you can't have anything happen, and then you

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Speaker 1: wrapped about. Even some ship that don't have anything to

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Speaker 1: do with anything that you're currently in trouble for, they

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Speaker 1: may use those lyrics in the court a lot. What

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Speaker 1: you think about that? Do you think that you know,

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Speaker 1: because it's art imitating life or vice versa? Which one

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Speaker 1: is it? Uh? You know? For me, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: slippery slope because if you're a rapper and you made

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Speaker 1: a song and and my cousin got killed and he's like, yeah, slice, spooky, yes,

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Speaker 1: look with a knife and put his body in the ditch,

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Speaker 1: and that's really what happened to my cousin, Pooky, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need that to be used in court to get

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Speaker 1: you convicted. Right. So there's a part of me that

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Speaker 1: feels that way. But then is an also a part

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Speaker 1: of me that feels like a lot of times these

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Speaker 1: rappers just be entertainers and there's a lot of capping

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Speaker 1: the songs and y'all using it to make them look

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Speaker 1: bad when in the actuality it's just music. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's just for entertainment purposes. So it is a slippery slope.

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Speaker 1: For me, you know, right, And he's using lyrics from

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Speaker 1: a song slime shit. So listen to larrics are and

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Speaker 1: then what when you read larrics out, It's like what

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Speaker 1: the fund a yall nigga is really saying? It's the

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Speaker 1: beat that'd be nice. These niggas cannot wrap okay, and says,

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Speaker 1: hey this that slime ship? Hey, why is sell ship?

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Speaker 1: Hey killing twelve ship? This is fucked up? Okay, Hey,

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Speaker 1: fucking jail ship. Hey, cooking white brick. Hey, Hey I'm

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Speaker 1: not new to this. Hey, I'm so true to this. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I don't put a whole slime on a hunted licks.

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Speaker 1: You read it better than that judge because he was

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Speaker 1: sucking it up. Read it to the beat. God. Like

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Speaker 1: I remember when I was living in Atlanta, there used

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Speaker 1: to be like billboards that basically they're the police was

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Speaker 1: trying to hire people to interpret gang slang. So they

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Speaker 1: were trying to hire civilians to help them. You know, understand, Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: this is a whole another language. So um the judge

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Speaker 1: proceeding over the trial as a judge, Cleanville's a black man. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think that they should be

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Speaker 1: able to use lyrics in court. I think that in

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Speaker 1: this case, young thug does not just need a defense attorney,

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Speaker 1: he needs uh civil law attorney. He needs a couple

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Speaker 1: of people in there because this this freedom of speech.

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Speaker 1: I feel like he should be able to um get

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Speaker 1: the lyrics thrown out, the use of the lyrics in

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Speaker 1: the crimes, because a lot of their case is based

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Speaker 1: on the lyrics in the songs. Yeah, so I think

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Speaker 1: he leaves a civil rights attorney and then just like

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Speaker 1: somebody to interpret the law because I don't see how

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Speaker 1: this is legal for them to read it out to

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Speaker 1: the jurors right during jury selection. Yeah, it's weird. So

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of unprecedented should happening in the state.

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Speaker 1: I always say, the jury is going to be members

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Speaker 1: of your peers. They already know them lyrics if it's

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Speaker 1: members of your peers, right, Yeah, but it ain't. There's

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Speaker 1: some old lady from Marietta. Yeah. This that September last year,

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Speaker 1: Governor Newsome signed the decriminalizing artistic expression at Act a

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Speaker 1: B nine nine. So it effectively bans the use of

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Speaker 1: rapp lyrics evidence in court and making California the first

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Speaker 1: state to pass such a law. They need that law

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Speaker 1: that should be a federal in Georgia, especially because there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of rappers in Georgia, and then with the

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Speaker 1: gang community in California, like its rampant. It is as

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Speaker 1: it is, if they really wanted to put niggas in jail,

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Speaker 1: like they would not have inforced something like this. They

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Speaker 1: would just let it be and use all those lyrics

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Speaker 1: against against uh the artists. But also it would be

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Speaker 1: wise to not incriminate yourself and your music at all. Also,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's the weird part about it. It's like

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Speaker 1: our generation we did things discreetly with the drill music.

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Speaker 1: These young guys are literally committing crimes and putting it

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Speaker 1: on wax. It's so weird, Like you don't even have

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Speaker 1: to snitch on them anymore. They snitching themselves. Get somebody

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Speaker 1: else to do it. That's my favorite ship, I know.

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Speaker 1: Isn't it fun? And you gotta do it? You gotta say,

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Speaker 1: just like her, ummm, get somebody else to do it?

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Speaker 1: All right? What else happening? All right? I'm sick of

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Speaker 1: these people. Okay, So I know I sent you a

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Speaker 1: couple of clips online after we spoke about this earlier,

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Speaker 1: but um so the family of Big Scar. He's a

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Speaker 1: rapper who you know was murdered recently. He was, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he was on Gucci Man's label. Gucci Man Um apparently

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Speaker 1: told the family that he would cover the funeral cost, right,

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Speaker 1: so I believe he. Yeah. He passed away December twenty

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Speaker 1: two at age two, young boy, right. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how long he was signed the ten seventeen records, but

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Speaker 1: Gucci Man said he would cover to the funeral expenses.

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Speaker 1: So some of his friends and family took to the

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Speaker 1: internet to say that, you know, once they asked Gucci Man,

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Speaker 1: you know, was he going to cover the expensive expenses?

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Speaker 1: He hung up and blocked them for teaching or Gucci

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Speaker 1: Maine's wife Okay, so she took to social media to

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Speaker 1: produce evidence two receipts that she paid that they got

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Speaker 1: that they collectively paid for flowers and ten thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: towards the funeral expenses for this young man Um. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what else they could have done. The family

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Speaker 1: is still saying they didn't get any money. They paid

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Speaker 1: the money directly to the funeral home. Did y'all want

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Speaker 1: that money to go to your hands? Right? So y'all

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Speaker 1: can cremate him and split the uh nine thousand. I

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Speaker 1: mean they should have created him in the first place. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just don't. I don't agree with spending thousands and

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Speaker 1: thousands of dollars on and this is my preference, right

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Speaker 1: I can. I'll say this, Um, living your life a

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Speaker 1: certain way and then put in your family and a

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Speaker 1: hardship when something happens to you, it's very selfish. So

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Speaker 1: we know that cremation is much less expensive. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's a religious religion reason why they

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Speaker 1: have to have a burial, an actual burial, but cremate

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Speaker 1: that boy and keep it moving. Did you have life insurance?

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Speaker 1: This is the stuff we need to listen. This, This

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Speaker 1: is the hard truths. I'm sorry, it's just a hard truth.

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Speaker 1: Like you you're leaving. If you need assistance to bury

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Speaker 1: your child, y'all don't have it. Y'all don't have the money.

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Speaker 1: He didn't leave any money nothing. Obviously, if y'all talking,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy about somebody outside your family that did assist. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why they were sold. You know, people

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Speaker 1: more indifferent and I just try not to pass judgment

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Speaker 1: on people morning. Uh, but it's unfair for them to

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Speaker 1: feel like Gucci didn't do enough. He didn't have to

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Speaker 1: do Honestly, he didn't have to do nothing. You know,

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Speaker 1: nobody's entitled to do anything for you, right, did he

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Speaker 1: die for you? That's the only way I could think of.

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Speaker 1: Like even then, Oh, you can say your condolences. You

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Speaker 1: still don't owe nobody anything financially. What they did was nice.

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Speaker 1: You know, they gave money, They gave ten thousand dollars,

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Speaker 1: they sit flowers. You know, what else do you want?

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Speaker 1: What else do you want? Oh, he's asking for his

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Speaker 1: chains back to So Gucci Maine is asking for the

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Speaker 1: chains that he gave this young man back. Uh. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how I feel about that. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: his family. Probably could sell those change and get some

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Speaker 1: money if they needed. You know, I wouldn't ask for

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Speaker 1: Once I give somebody something, now, typically ask for it back.

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Speaker 1: I mean they're already gone, So who do you ask

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Speaker 1: for it back? Or was that a down payment on

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Speaker 1: his career? Why? Why? Why do they give the chains away? Anyway?

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Speaker 1: Like when the when the record give a chain, is

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Speaker 1: it a company car? It's a company car? Right based

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Speaker 1: to give them to give them the acstatic that you

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Speaker 1: need to look like legit in the rap industry, you know,

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Speaker 1: and we know a lot of people rent jury all

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Speaker 1: the time. So just it's just like a rental while

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Speaker 1: you're with this group. Give that man back the jury to.

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Speaker 1: I believe they should give the jury back. I doubt

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Speaker 1: Gaucy Man sees this jury. He might as well just

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Speaker 1: just chuck it up as a loss. Yeah, let's just

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Speaker 1: still a still a conversation about drug use in our

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Speaker 1: black community. And because he died from prescription overdose, young

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Speaker 1: man and too, so it's a sad chain of events.

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Speaker 1: Rest in peace to this young man and be grateful

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Speaker 1: when somebody helps you. That's all I got to say.

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Speaker 1: On man. Yeah, this is real. It's real nasty what

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Speaker 1: they're doing online. It's embarrassing. Yeah, I'm embarrassed, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's not even me. I'm embarrassed. Yeah. So we're gonna

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Speaker 1: take a break and we're gonna talk dating in Los

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Speaker 1: Angeles as a black woman. And we're back. Okay, we

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Speaker 1: have a special guest on we talked back this weekend.

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Speaker 1: We want to talk about dating. Okay, uh, sex in

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Speaker 1: the city nine oh two one oh style. Okay, we

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Speaker 1: have sat whom on we talked back this week. Girl,

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Speaker 1: Hey girl, Hi, hey hi. Oh my god, but I'm

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Speaker 1: excited me to Okay, So y'all a little backstory. I

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Speaker 1: went to l A to uh Bi, Samone and Megan

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Speaker 1: Brooks live show for No for Sure, and I met

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Speaker 1: Effie there. Effie was fabulous. She was looking good, she

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Speaker 1: was glowing, she was standing out, and we just got

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Speaker 1: to talking about being beautiful black women and dating. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, girl, I had to get you on

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Speaker 1: the show and talk about dating in l A. So

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Speaker 1: thank you for coming. Girl, Let's get into this for

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Speaker 1: having me. I'm like, I'm super excited, Like I am

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Speaker 1: very very excited. Good good Listen. We've been going back

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Speaker 1: and forth since what was that November about a date,

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Speaker 1: so finally we got you here. So I'm gonna jump

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Speaker 1: into it real quickly. Do only day black man, Yes,

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Speaker 1: exclusively only dateway. And it's not because like I'm racist

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Speaker 1: or anything. It's you know, um, in college, I had

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Speaker 1: my degree was in kinesiology and my minor was an

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Speaker 1: Africana studies um and I there's so many things that

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Speaker 1: I learned within the Africana Studies course that maybe just

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Speaker 1: want black. I don't want mixed race kids personally, I

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Speaker 1: just want black. Let's talk about it. And um, I

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Speaker 1: always felt like nobody can raise my child to be

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Speaker 1: black in America than a black man. So again, everybody

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Speaker 1: is beautiful though, you know every but for me, my

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Speaker 1: taste is like, you know, I like black man. Let's

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Speaker 1: talk about those studies. So what does that all entail?

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Speaker 1: Africa Africana studies? What is that exactly? So going into it,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was just gonna be like African American history,

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Speaker 1: but it's deeper than that. It's like the psychology, sociology.

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Speaker 1: It taught me like it broadened my view on how

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Speaker 1: I I interact with Africans within the diaspora. And when

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Speaker 1: I say that, I mean because I am Nigerian American,

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Speaker 1: my views on things are somewhat different from someone who

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Speaker 1: may be born and raised in America as African American

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Speaker 1: or somebody that's Caribbean. So um, it just gave me

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Speaker 1: a more a broad a broader understanding, and more sympathy too,

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Speaker 1: Like when I see certain things like I don't react

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Speaker 1: like oh my god, that's just like who does that

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Speaker 1: to me? It's like where, how did they grow up,

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Speaker 1: like what happened? Where did they come from? So it's

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Speaker 1: more like a broad up like a psychological thing as

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Speaker 1: well that goes into it. That's interesting. I'm on Clubhouse

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Speaker 1: a lot, and that's usually. Have you been on Clubhouse ever? Yes?

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Speaker 1: And you so you've seen the diaspor Awards on Clubhouse

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Speaker 1: essentially between Africans and Black American people. And I think

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Speaker 1: it's sad because, like it's funny enough, like my best

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Speaker 1: friends for over ten years African Americans. I go to

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Speaker 1: their family reunions, they come to my Nigerian events, like

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Speaker 1: we don't even care. So when I see stuff like

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Speaker 1: that kind of breaks my heart because we're stronger together

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Speaker 1: than divide. And just because we I guess, you know,

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Speaker 1: different areas. I guess we come from different areas, doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily necessarily mean we're different culturally, yes, maybe, but like

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Speaker 1: if we just come together, look at black women are

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Speaker 1: killing it out here across the disk, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean? So what better way to like not keep

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Speaker 1: us powerful than to just break us up instead of

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Speaker 1: us coming together? So I don't I don't really be

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Speaker 1: paying attention to stuff like that because I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of ignorance, that and a lot of

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Speaker 1: self hate from both parties. So yeah, so all right,

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Speaker 1: you say you only date black men, and I think

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Speaker 1: that's a lot for a lot of black women, Like

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Speaker 1: I only date black men. Do you date outside of that?

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Speaker 1: Have earlier on before I became a black panther, but

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Speaker 1: nowadays you know, I'm just saying no, Yeah, my preference

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Speaker 1: number one preference white. I mean, look, black men are

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Speaker 1: my number one preference. Yes, So do you feel like

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Speaker 1: with that it limits us from options? Especially you in

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Speaker 1: l A? Because what l A population is eight percent black?

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, how do I explain it? Like? I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, because they're gonna find me. Okay, Like

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Speaker 1: they're gonna find me. The only problem with it with

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Speaker 1: me is the way I talk. I noticed, Um, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you guys can hear it, hear me?

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00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 1: I sound very valley, I've been told. So that's what

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Speaker 1: stumps me a lot from talking to black men in

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Speaker 1: l A because they automatically assume I only date white men.

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Speaker 1: Really interesting, so when you meet a black guy, they

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Speaker 1: assume that you only like black men verse I mean

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Speaker 1: white men versus black and and that's a thing that

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00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: makes you unattractive. No, I mean they just they don't.

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Speaker 1: They wouldn't pursue me. Like I remember I went to

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Speaker 1: Target one time and just one dude just came up

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00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: to me like they're beautiful or whatever, and then I

385
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:42,879
Speaker 1: started speaking. He was like, you like the type the

386
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: only date white men. You sound like the type the

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00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 1: only dates white men. That's ignorant. So it was just

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Speaker 1: like I was like, mm hmm, that's yeah. That's so

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00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: that's definitely ignorant with ignorance within our own thing because

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00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: because of how someone's someone talks, so you automatically associate

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00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: that with smart. So is that a me problem, sir?

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00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 1: Or are you problem? If I sound white? Is what

393
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 1: he was trying to tell you, Right, that's the thing

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00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: we use in the black community. You sound white? Yeah,

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00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: I mean I got thought like, like I said, all

396
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 1: my life growing up, you really don't sound white to me, though,

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00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: Like you sound like you're from l A and a

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Speaker 1: black woman like black women have like this tone, you

399
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,639
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, it's just like, you know,

400
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 1: what's a black woman? Okay, So I don't know what

401
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:45,719
Speaker 1: are you're talking about? Yeah? So all right, I was

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00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 1: I was watching this video earlier, just trying to get

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00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,199
Speaker 1: some information on like l A and you know, they

404
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 1: have some questions for you. And there was this black

405
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 1: woman saying that l A has a very self center

406
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Speaker 1: centered culture and that's why it's hard for black women there.

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Speaker 1: Would you agree with that person when you say self centered, Like,

408
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Speaker 1: do you mean like everybody feels like they're or something

409
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: like everybody feels like they're superstar type of thing. Yeah,

410
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 1: And everybody is very self absorbed, and it's hard to

411
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: meet anybody that's just really interested in anyone else because

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00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 1: they're so self absorbed. Like she was saying that, like

413
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: nobody says good morning, and nobody says, oh, you look nice.

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Speaker 1: It's just kind of everybody is all in tune with

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Speaker 1: theirselves and waiting on someone else to be I would say, men,

416
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 1: I've been complaining with my home girlths about this man

417
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: out here. How do I say this like so nicely?

418
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 1: You'll have to be nice. I have never, like I

419
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 1: could never in my mind experience like even think like

420
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Speaker 1: I would be going through some of the stuff I

421
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 1: went through with some of these men out here. Um,

422
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 1: they want to be the passenger princess. They want you to,

423
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: Like if you ask a man like why don't you

424
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,119
Speaker 1: give me flowers and lay, they'll be like why when

425
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: you get me flocking? Or like you can go on

426
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 1: a date in l a and they will make you

427
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: pay half the meal on for the date. So dating

428
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 1: in lay is such a struggle because a lot of

429
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is because it's maybe no,

430
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 1: they're just I don't know, like they just don't feel

431
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: like they need to put in the effort. And I

432
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: think that the problem is a lot of females nowadays,

433
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 1: like us, like a lot of women, we enabled that

434
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 1: behavior sometimes so they think it's okay. So like they'll

435
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 1: do it with the first girl and then they'll come

436
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 1: to somebody like me, and then it's more because it's

437
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,160
Speaker 1: just like I'm not about to deal with that, you know,

438
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 1: So they just I don't know if it's it's not

439
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 1: because of money, it's I guess it's a self absorbed

440
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 1: They feel like, you know, I look good, I'm the prize.

441
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: You've gotta chase me too. I'm not just gonna put

442
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,919
Speaker 1: in the effort, so I'm not going I'm not going

443
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 1: to do the most for you. So yeah, and like

444
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 1: I said, we enabled something, not us, but like some

445
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: women enabled the behavior because a self esteem may because

446
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 1: of insecurities. I don't know, but like I'm just not

447
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 1: with it. So I agree with that what she said.

448
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: So it's l A like the home. Others like what

449
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 1: the fund is happening in l A. All I know

450
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: is I don't. I personally find it very difficult to

451
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: day in l A. And I said, I will not

452
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 1: be dating in l A anymore. I will only be

453
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: doing long distance. It is not bad. I have left.

454
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: I'm done with l A and I'm only So are

455
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 1: black men in l A attracted to black women? I

456
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: want to say fifty fifty right? And I also like

457
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: it's it's hard because you know, growing up in l A,

458
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: you see a lot of mixed race women, and you

459
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 1: see a lot of white women, you know, and then

460
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 1: of course there's black women. And technically when you see

461
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: a black man, you see them in the arms of

462
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,640
Speaker 1: a white woman or a mixed race girl. So like

463
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: some of them swear they love black women, but they

464
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: don't date us. And you see that play up like

465
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 1: play out a lot in l A. Like black Yeah,

466
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: I love black women on pro black This is not

467
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. But then their girlfriends or

468
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: track records are all white or mixed race women, So

469
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: like to me, it's like, I don't know, like do

470
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: you really love us? Or do you love saying you

471
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 1: love us for attention? You know what I mean? Do

472
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: you love that we stand by you? Do you love

473
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 1: that we will take care of you? Because Black women

474
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 1: were very nurturing and when we are in love or

475
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,440
Speaker 1: when we care, we we tend to hold our own

476
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: down and like where we ride, you know, So like

477
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: do you love the fact that you know that you

478
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: would if you're with us, that you you will have

479
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,640
Speaker 1: a home and then you can go do something else,

480
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: you know? Or do you love your mom and sisters

481
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: who are actually black because your ass is black and

482
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: they look like you and those that are black women

483
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 1: you love? But when it comes to dating, you don't

484
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: like women who are esthetically black, you know, because a

485
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: mixed race woman would say I'm black, you know she

486
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 1: and she might be culturally black too, but aesthetically with

487
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: the like featurism perhaps more not lacking Black women personally.

488
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: Though I do date Africans, I'm like more I don't

489
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: do it on purpose subconsciously. I don't know why, well,

490
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: no I do. I'm Nigerian, so like subconsciously I go

491
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: towards like Nigerian men or African men, and it's because

492
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 1: again Nigerian African men. They the way we are raised

493
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: is the men are the provider's period, right, So like

494
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: going out on dates with um them or just even

495
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 1: planning a future, it's like, I know, like they like

496
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: I'll be cool, like I don't have to think about

497
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: or be worried about do I have to pull out

498
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: a wallet right now? You know what I mean? And

499
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: we they you know, dating an African man. They love

500
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: black women because we you know, we love our people.

501
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 1: And it's hard because you know, growing up in l A,

502
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: there's obviously like African Americans, it's Africans whatever. I got

503
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: bullied more growing up by African American boys and girls

504
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: then I did from white people. You know, like they

505
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: love black women. I don't know fifty fifty, but they don't.

506
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: It's it's very they don't show it. It's an insecurity

507
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: within themselves because imagine you're going through life intentionally trying

508
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: to recreate something that doesn't look like you or trying

509
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 1: to create something that doesn't look like you. So the

510
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 1: only way they can do that is not to be

511
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 1: with the black woman. This makes me think about um, y'all,

512
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: remember when Sweetie and too Short and not too Short

513
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: is fifty five years old, too shortest from California. He's

514
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: fur in the Bay Area. Sweetie is what. So he

515
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: was having a conversation with Sweetie saying, you know, mixed heritage.

516
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: He's always it's always been his favorite. That's usually who

517
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: he went with, right, Um, he's never been with just

518
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: a black woman. Um. And he was saying it like

519
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 1: two ugly people could come together and make a beautiful baby.

520
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: So in his mind, like, it has to be someone

521
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: outside of the black community to be a pretty person. Right,

522
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 1: So that's the problem with him. It has nothing to

523
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: do with black women. And he essentially essentially said like

524
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: that they did that to him, So his preference is

525
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: based on where he lives geographically essentially, and too Short

526
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: it's not fine. Let's be cleared. One of the ugly

527
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: people he's talking about is himself. So in order to

528
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: him not to recreate another one of two shorts, like,

529
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: he had to get a woman outside the black community,

530
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: in his mind. That starts a conversation about colorism and featurism.

531
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: And I feel like out in l A, like, um,

532
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: your proximity to whiteness is what makes you more beautiful.

533
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: It seems like, or like your proximity to whiteness with

534
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,719
Speaker 1: a hint of black features like the full lips and

535
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: the full I've got a lot of on some white women,

536
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: brown women, it was like they they they they love

537
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: nigga ship, but they don't like niggas. That's what I see.

538
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: I mean like growing up in l A right like

539
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: it's a majority of what you see is white and mixed.

540
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: It's it's crazy because I never thought I was ugly

541
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,320
Speaker 1: growing up, but I did feel out of place. I

542
00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 1: felt like, um, if I didn't have curly hair or

543
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't damn near passing, I wouldn't get any attention,

544
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: which is true because in college and know in high school,

545
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: middle school, I wasn't nobody liked me like nobody liked me.

546
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: The black guys would make fun of me. I was

547
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: told my lips look like pillow clouds or whatever, like

548
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: people get lips and like I I what I do

549
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: love about this generation is that we're moving kind of

550
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 1: away from that a little bit, and we're now like

551
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 1: embracing how beautiful black is, you know, And I really

552
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 1: really love that, and like it makes me excited to

553
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: have children in the future where I know that I

554
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 1: can bring them into a society where I don't have

555
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: to have that talk with my daughter, Like, you know what,

556
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: these kids are good to make fun of you for

557
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: this because of your hair not being as curly like

558
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: this or straight as their's, you know what I mean.

559
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: But growing up it was rough. Like I played soccer,

560
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 1: you know, always the black girl on the team. And

561
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: I remember one time in the soccer game, somebody was

562
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: like get the negro what And I'm not joking, and

563
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: my heart dropped like midst I I don't know, like

564
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: I just remember everything just went slow motion for me,

565
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: and my dad had to pick me up, get me

566
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: from the field. Like my dad was like, we have

567
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: to go home, and I just completely stopped. And I

568
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: was only black girl on the team, you know, black

569
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: girl playing soccer. This not and all I see our

570
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: white faces around me and like or I never saw

571
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: color like that in a sense, Like I was just

572
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: playing soccer. I'm just playing games with my friends. But

573
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: that moment I realized I am not one of them,

574
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: Like they did not see me as an equal part

575
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: at all. They see me as a black girl playing

576
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 1: soccer with them, and that is it. I am not

577
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 1: an ally or whatever. I'm just a black girl running

578
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: on the field. I was you say twelve eleven twelve

579
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 1: was like the first time I e Arrian's like real

580
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 1: life racism, like aet the Negro. Oh my god, Like yeah,

581
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 1: like my whole body just went Negro and tears just

582
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: started coming out. And my dad, like I said, came

583
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 1: on that field. My daddy's like a six something African

584
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 1: man straight Nigeria from Nigeria, accident all came picked me up,

585
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 1: was like we're going home, Like you didn't get the fight?

586
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: Did you continue to play that? I continue to play

587
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: with that. Like soccer in general, I loved soccer. I

588
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:33,959
Speaker 1: that was one of my passions. Um. I didn't let

589
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: it stop me. It actually fueled me because I was like, okay,

590
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna be the best at this point, like

591
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,239
Speaker 1: this is what it is. I'm I'm gonna run all

592
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: y'all over, which is what this negrol gonn whoop y'all

593
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: lads out here. That's what I did, Like, I this hard.

594
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: My dad would take me to extra trainings, traveling, and

595
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 1: I was like one of the best players, and it

596
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 1: was like that was the moment when I was like, yeah,

597
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: you just see me as another black girl. So I'm

598
00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: gonna have to work at hard. So that's that's the

599
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: white kids. So the black people who tease you, right,

600
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 1: were they and I'm just trying to get someplace right quick?

601
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: Were they light skin or dark skin? Like? Where was

602
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 1: it the dark skinned guys that would tease you? Yeah? Okay,

603
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 1: So I have a friend, right, My friend is very

604
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: very light skinned and she gets a lot of like

605
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: a lot of hate online from brown skin dark skinned women,

606
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: I mean just and she has two black parents, but

607
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,279
Speaker 1: she's very fair complexing. Her father was really light her

608
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 1: dad and her mom is dark skinned Jamaican. Right, So

609
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 1: anytime somebody has a problem with her, the first thing

610
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: they're saying is, bit, you ain't even black, Bit you

611
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: just dad and up And she said, you know, and

612
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 1: she's older than us, right, she's in her fifties. She

613
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I don't remember this being a

614
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: thing when light skinn niggas was in style. So she no,

615
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,919
Speaker 1: she doesn't. She doesn't remember colorism being a thing when

616
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: light skinned niggas was in style. It wasn't until everybody

617
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: was you know, I want tall, dark and handsome. Everybody's

618
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 1: picking them now and they're like the you know, I

619
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 1: guess the top of the totem pole. Everybody wants a

620
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 1: black man. You know what I'm saying. Light skinned men

621
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: catch hate and heat all the time. So is it

622
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: because like dark skinned men are now like the it

623
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: why black women are experiencing colorism because light skin men,

624
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: Like everybody, I attract light skin men. I've always liked

625
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 1: dark skin man. Yeah, we that's our preference. We like brown,

626
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 1: dark skin men. I always or at least like color

627
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: and darker. But to go like we are good to go,

628
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,760
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Um, I don't know, because

629
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 1: like I said, growing up, I would I wouldn't say

630
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: it's mostly dark skinned. I think it was a mixture,

631
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: but it was it was predominantly dark skinned. Um with them,

632
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: I mean, black men are always it for me though,

633
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: Like I just felt like they were always popping for

634
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: every woman. I never remember a time when black men

635
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 1: were not like well that's because you're only twenty five.

636
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: There was a time when light skins growing up, like

637
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: all the girls with like googly eyed over the black guys,

638
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: and the black guys, will you know look the other

639
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: way towards me, They're like, get out of my face.

640
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 1: I don't want you. I don't want the latinas, I

641
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: don't want the white girl. So I don't know. And

642
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 1: it's because probably because they got teased for being dark.

643
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 1: So now and then, it's just kind of weird because

644
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,720
Speaker 1: dark skinned people will go out their way to create

645
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: light skinned people. They create the light skin people that

646
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:42,360
Speaker 1: they hate. So this is like the other side of colorism.

647
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying. Yeah, I've never seen

648
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 1: I never saw it like that. That's wow. Who created

649
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 1: light skinned people? White people? But I mean we perpetuated

650
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: in our community. You know, in Africa, everybody comes to

651
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: different colors. I don't know why. I here is the

652
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: thing like it's especially so we're gonna take it to

653
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 1: Nigeria real quick. Right Ebo people, Right, the Ebo people,

654
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,319
Speaker 1: a lot of them are light skin naturally, like very

655
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 1: light skinned. So I don't know, I can't necessarily say

656
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: white people created we like ed might have started with them,

657
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: like with the house Negro, the field Negro, this that,

658
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: and the third right. But within the black community, we

659
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: definitely uh continue pushing it, the colorism and racism within

660
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 1: our own race m amongst each other. Yeah, we do that. Yeah,

661
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 1: we give things hierarchy, like the light skin girl like

662
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: even so what's sweetie? And too short? So Sweetie, I

663
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 1: watched the video one day, and Sweetie, she looked so

664
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with him saying these things. But how else do

665
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 1: you elevate her without knocking these people down? Is what

666
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:52,359
Speaker 1: he was doing. So you're knocking down the regular black woman,

667
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: the brown skinl this and we're beautiful, you know what

668
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Skin just even saying the regular black woman,

669
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 1: she's not regular, she's just she's a black woman. That

670
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 1: doesn't make it, you know, it's like knocking down the

671
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 1: regular black But she's mixed, Sweetie is like Korean or

672
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: something in black. She's not completely black, right, So what

673
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,320
Speaker 1: I'm talking about is just a black woman who identifies

674
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: as a black woman, who has two black parents, not mixed.

675
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 1: When I say a regular black woman, So I'm not

676
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: I'm not calling black women regular by any means, but

677
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: she was clearly because she identifies as a black woman.

678
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: Sweet identifies as a black woman. Again, I always say this.

679
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: You know, black to me is not a race, is

680
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: not a color. It is literally a culture. Okay, you

681
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 1: can identify with the black culture. But we have had

682
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 1: all these different, different definitions assigned to us in Black America,

683
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: which is why I think I love the fact that

684
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: you actually studied this in school, which a lot of

685
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: people probably should so they can have a better understanding

686
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,439
Speaker 1: of what's going on and this and this hair equal

687
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 1: system because it is different. It's different in Africa, is

688
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: different here. Even though we're the same people, they're there

689
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: are people in Africa who may not consider themselves black.

690
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: They identify what whatever tribe they come from, you know,

691
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 1: so would would they consider themselves black though, Like I'm

692
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: not black, I'm Ebo. No, you'd be like, I'm still black.

693
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: I'm just I mean, I think it depends when you're

694
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,680
Speaker 1: talking to you, like I'm Urba and Ebo so like,

695
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 1: but out like when I'm like when i'm you know,

696
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, I just say I'm a black girl unless

697
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: you ask me, like what I like in America? Yeah,

698
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: if you're in in Africa. Would that be the same

699
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 1: thing though, if you were back home. I mean, we

700
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 1: just I don't. I don't. I don't know because I

701
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: guess we're all black, so we're just kind of like,

702
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: you know, where are you from? I'm Ruba, what do you?

703
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 1: Where do you? I'm Ebo, so kind of I think,

704
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: go buy your tribes. I guess like I don't ever

705
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: actually heard anybody, and I'd be like, I'm a black girl.

706
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,879
Speaker 1: Like they just be like, I'm an Ebo girl. I'm

707
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:59,799
Speaker 1: because most people are black, So it's like it would

708
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,359
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be a determining factor. I wish we could

709
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: get away from saying black and African American. I really

710
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 1: wish we could get away from that. But we don't

711
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: have a tribe. A lot of people don't have a

712
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 1: tribe to associate themselves with. We could create some ship

713
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 1: or there. There there are tribes you probably can trace

714
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 1: your lineage back to, so that we can get away

715
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: from that, you know, from using those terms. But that's

716
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 1: what it's a big thing. That's what people needhould go by.

717
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, I don't know. Should y'all have a

718
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 1: good time where I definitely when I saw everybody in

719
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 1: uh Ayana this past New Year's and I know Ghana

720
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: they're offering people citizenship even even outside of Dati December,

721
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: Like just go, like go doing this on my time.

722
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: I want to say, like June, it's beautiful. Africa is

723
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: fun like West Africa. Let me I don't let me

724
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: not talk about all of Africa. I'm West African and

725
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: I have never been to South Africa before, but I

726
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: know it's beautiful down there. But Nigeria is fun like

727
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: nine Jia. You will have a good time obviously, like

728
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 1: be safe, but like the people are welcoming, the food

729
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: is good. M hmm. What about that yellow fever vaccine?

730
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 1: Can I go without you? So you have to get

731
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 1: a yellow fever vaccine? But it's I don't me personally.

732
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a big deal because I've had

733
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 1: it since I was a kid, you know what I mean. Um,

734
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: But I think it's to protect you because like you

735
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 1: have to also remember we're going to a new continent,

736
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: right so like when I got um, I had COVID

737
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: when I got into Nigeria one time, COVID mixed with malaria.

738
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: It's not a game. It is not a game like

739
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 1: because it's it's I don't know how explain it. It's

740
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 1: we also don't have the same medical assistance as in

741
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: America in Nigeria, so when you get sick, like you're

742
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: really like, it's just it's just not a game. Get

743
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 1: the vaccine. What I'm gonna say it was, Yeah, that

744
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: was terrible. I'll get the paperwork. Let's be clear. I

745
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:01,439
Speaker 1: know a guy because that was fair about traveling. Damn,

746
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 1: I'm never going to make it to Africa now if

747
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 1: I gotta get all these vaccines, like, I'm not for it. Yeah,

748
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: me neither. But you know, I'm not like against some vaccines,

749
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 1: like new as vaccines that haven't been tested for a

750
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: long time. I'm against those, but like the yellow fever

751
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 1: vaccine has been wild for a while around for a while, right,

752
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:24,439
Speaker 1: But because I have MS, I don't think yellow fever

753
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: vaccine is good for me, you know. Like so I'm

754
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: not sure. Maybe you can talk to somebody about it,

755
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: but I've gotten named, My brothers have gotten there. Everybody

756
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: I know that goes back home gets it, so they

757
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: get nothing. I'm trying to go out there and see

758
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: what the men talking about, because I know they like

759
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 1: big booties out there and I got one of the women.

760
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: Nigerian men are beautiful. Yeah, we're gonna have to import

761
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 1: one from some place because the black men in America

762
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,399
Speaker 1: do not. I won't say they don't. Okay, let's let's

763
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: stop generalizing a little bit, but when we speak about

764
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 1: these things, they act like it doesn't exist. I was

765
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 1: watching a Holst on your page, Effie, and I saw

766
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 1: a guy commented it was like that's cap and her

767
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 1: p o V. Was, you're a black woman trying to

768
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: date in l A and a black man is basically

769
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:14,919
Speaker 1: like dismissing that you know as not true and that's

770
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: our experience. To me, like reading comments like that sometimes

771
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: like I don't know how you're gonna dismiss my experience

772
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,359
Speaker 1: as a black woman, because when you're a black man,

773
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: like you don't even like what are you talking about?

774
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: Like you're not experiencing what I have to go through.

775
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: You're part of the problem. Like what do you mean

776
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,560
Speaker 1: If you're not acknowledging the issues we're bringing forward, then

777
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: you're not helping. You're not a solution. You're part of

778
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 1: the problem that you're not trying to you're not trying

779
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 1: to learn. You're not trying to do better, You're just

780
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 1: trying to fight. You're being defensive, you know what I mean.

781
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: So that's my experience dating in l A Like it's

782
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: kind of just like it's like you have to tiptoe

783
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 1: kind of like, hey, do you like black I said

784
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: that on the episode. I said, I think Black women

785
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: are the only group of women when we see an

786
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 1: attractive man, like somebody we would date, because we always,

787
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: you know, fantasize in our minds when we see somebody

788
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:02,359
Speaker 1: like what's your am data birth? I need all that ship, right,

789
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: But we're the only group of women that have to

790
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 1: say damn, I wonder if he likes women. Damn, I

791
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: wonder if he likes Black women, Like we actually have

792
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 1: to have like run down those internal questions when we

793
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,919
Speaker 1: see a guy that's attractive. I don't think any group

794
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 1: of women have to do like white women don't have

795
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: to say damn, I wonder if he likes white women

796
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 1: because their men are not marrying outside of their you know,

797
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 1: outside of the race. Are you talking about with other

798
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 1: white men, Yeah, there men. You know, black men they're

799
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 1: at the top with marrying outside of their community. They

800
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 1: are so it's it's it's black men and white women,

801
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: and then, um, this is a statistic I read and

802
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: so it said like the marriages that actually last the

803
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 1: longest are black women and Asian men, which I think

804
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:02,720
Speaker 1: about that really I would, I don't know, Like that's shocking.

805
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't know that so Asian men are

806
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 1: like the least sought after while Black men are at

807
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: like at the top, and Black women are at least.

808
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:15,240
Speaker 1: I feel like it's changing, though, Like I really genuinely

809
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 1: feel like it's changing, like I I maybe I don't

810
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,320
Speaker 1: know what it is. I just feel like now people

811
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: are starting to really see the beauty and us, which

812
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: is sad that it's taken so long and there's still growth,

813
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 1: you know. Like I'm not saying like we are the

814
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: most sought out there, like we are the most like

815
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: people see us as the most amazing, which they should.

816
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 1: But I do think a change has happened. There has

817
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: been a shift because I'm going online and I'm seeing

818
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,240
Speaker 1: so many people talking like dating black women, wanting black women,

819
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 1: craving us. I don't know if it's a fetish. I

820
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: don't even amongst women, you think it's a metish. I mean, no,

821
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I don't know. Can you feel it?

822
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: In l A? I feel like I don't feel unattractive

823
00:45:56,400 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: in l A, I feel fat And in Charlotte, UM think,

824
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:04,879
Speaker 1: l A, I'm the fat girl? Why are you? I

825
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 1: was like this this, you know what it's like that girl,

826
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 1: like that girl when she walked in, I was like,

827
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 1: oh no, no, she's to toe like just bomb, thank

828
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,160
Speaker 1: you friend. But see it is women we look at

829
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 1: each other like that. How are the men saying? I

830
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 1: feel like they're starting to, Like, I feel like there's

831
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 1: men that really do appreciate us like I will not.

832
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: I can't say, like a lot of black men are right,

833
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 1: It's like there's something that you know that are just

834
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 1: like ill black women whatever. But there's some that will

835
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,839
Speaker 1: genuinely appreciate a beautiful black woman. But of course it's

836
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: like fighting. It's like a needle in a haystack. Because

837
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 1: I feel that didn't you have somebody say something real

838
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 1: disparaging about you? Tammy recently from another podcast, who's actually

839
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 1: on this network kind of in in partnership, Cassie, Yeah,

840
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 1: so is this guy? And I thought he was taking

841
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: some interest in me honestly, and he says he's not

842
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:06,640
Speaker 1: interested in dating unless the woman looks like Cassie. And

843
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,439
Speaker 1: I was so offended by the delusion when people say

844
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 1: stuff like that, like I just want them to like,

845
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: you know, I want to pop that little delusional bubble

846
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: and like bring them back to reality because it be

847
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 1: the most basic face looking niggad that says it. Who

848
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: is a girl like that want you? Who says like who?

849
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: How do we know? Like what if you don't want

850
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: you don't have exactly. I don't think men consider that.

851
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 1: They think if they like you, you automatically like them,

852
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: as if women don't have the right to have preference.

853
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: It's delusion, Yes, it's but we're the ones that need

854
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 1: to bring it down and not really men are way

855
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,760
Speaker 1: more shallow than women. And you can all people argue

856
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 1: with me about that ship all the time, but you're

857
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 1: not going to catch a fine ass dude with an

858
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 1: ugly woman. I mean, I know women date men for

859
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 1: different things, different reasons, but you can always catch a

860
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 1: fine ass woman with a nigga who's challenged in the

861
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 1: face because that money whatever else. No, I know, like,

862
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 1: there's this girl and she was very this person but

863
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 1: she was aesthetically challenged, That's what I'll say. And she

864
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 1: had this fine asked man I'm talking about he was gorgeous,

865
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's some boy funck. I mean, she

866
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 1: has this popping on her face while you're talking, kind

867
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 1: of girl like like, Oh, that's what I go for.

868
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 1: I'd be going for personality. No, I found out what

869
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 1: it was because she has adult personality. But she was tricking.

870
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: She was big, tricking on she was big, y'all. Remember

871
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: that this went viral on social media. But and this

872
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: goes outside of the colorism discussion, but remember it was

873
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:47,240
Speaker 1: a girl. She was like, um, men date big women,

874
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 1: like when they don't have their ship together. You don't

875
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 1: remember that podcast there was a woman saying it. It

876
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:57,399
Speaker 1: was a woman saying because the bigger women I get,

877
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, they may take care of men, and

878
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: that might be a thing, just the same way why

879
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 1: I think some black men go to white women to

880
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 1: be taken care of, but not it has to be

881
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 1: a big woman with low self esteem because I know

882
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: some Listen, I got mine many times. That's where I

883
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 1: got my ex is always cheating with a big bitch

884
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: and like big pretty bitches. It got to the point

885
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 1: where I would be in target. I'm seeing a big,

886
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 1: light skinned pretty girl, and I'm like, I'm mad at

887
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 1: her because I know my nigga. Fuck Like, I'm mad,

888
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 1: I'm holding grudges against somebody who don't even know me

889
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 1: nor my man, but because he'd be cheating on me

890
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 1: with these big bitches, Like, I'm like mad, So I

891
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 1: disagree with that, lady, because you know, it just depends

892
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 1: on preference, you know, I like, I like, I genuinely

893
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:49,959
Speaker 1: fall in love with people for their personality and their soul,

894
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: Like I like, you know, like if you are a

895
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 1: good man and you have a good heart and you

896
00:49:55,880 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 1: are family oriented, I will give you a chance. But see,

897
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: that's that's women. Women be like, he grew on me.

898
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: You ain't never nigga saying she grew on him. Women

899
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: do that. Men do not do that. They're bit he

900
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:19,879
Speaker 1: liked her from the first Women, men definitely, uh are

901
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 1: more visual characters and more visual Women date men for

902
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 1: different things, you know, not just looks. That's not at

903
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: the top of our list. But me as a woman

904
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,440
Speaker 1: with no children, and y'all should also consider this. I

905
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: had a middle school teacher tell me that, you know,

906
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 1: if you ugly, you're gonna have a hard time in life.

907
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 1: He really told us that in middle school. And we

908
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 1: also know what colorism, uh, socialism, all those things. We

909
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: have pretty privilege right now. I'm not saying I need

910
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 1: the finest man out here, right but I also don't

911
00:50:57,120 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 1: want my children to be super aesthetically challenged because I

912
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 1: love the nigger aesthetically challenging this term. I'm sorry somebody

913
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 1: left the left the uh A remark on um the

914
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 1: show because I said, you know, I like to hang

915
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 1: around pretty women. I know y'all, y'all have been around

916
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 1: not so cute women are usually the ones that's the

917
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 1: maddest when you join all the funship a lot of

918
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 1: times you know, in the group. So just to keep

919
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 1: down on that, like what I mean. And also again

920
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: it's in the eye of the beholder. Like my friend

921
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: could very well, I could be ugly to a lot

922
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 1: of people. My friend could be ugly to people, But

923
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 1: to me, these bitches is fine. So that's this is

924
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 1: what I meant by that. But we're not gonna act

925
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: like pretty privileged doesn't It doesn't exist, It really does.

926
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: I went to the courthouse with a pillow in my

927
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 1: pocket the other day and I forgot and I did

928
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: not go to jail. And I did not go to jail, y'all.

929
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 1: I did not go to jail. I was supposed to

930
00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 1: be locked. The man asked me, the police asked me

931
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 1: for my phone number and told me to go back

932
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 1: to my car. Stupid, he said, take that gun back

933
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: to your car. Stupid. But I did not know pretty.

934
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,960
Speaker 1: I'm growing up. I didn't think I ever had a

935
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 1: pretty privilege, like like at all. Like I've seen it

936
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: work for like again, lighter skinning girls and everything, but

937
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,760
Speaker 1: I never, like I said, I never thought I was ugly.

938
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:24,800
Speaker 1: But I never thought I met the standards of beauty

939
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 1: out here, you know what I mean? Growing now, Like

940
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,000
Speaker 1: when I get like when people heap me up and

941
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: be like you're so beautiful, it's not like it's so

942
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 1: hard for me to like read it sometimes because like

943
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,280
Speaker 1: I was never told that growing up from my parents,

944
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 1: YE have se you know, family, but like from society,

945
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 1: I was never told that. I was told, you got

946
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 1: a big nose, your eyes are far apart, your lips

947
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 1: are too big, you're you're you're you're not thin, you're

948
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 1: you're thicker, like you know, so pretty privilege is real,

949
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: but I never I felt like I never experienced pretty

950
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 1: privilege living in l A until I've gotten older. And

951
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 1: I think pretty privilege also starts from within. When I

952
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,919
Speaker 1: started believing that I was it like I was bad

953
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: that I was before I carried myself with that confidence,

954
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 1: I started that like other people started looking at me

955
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 1: with it like the same way. But it's hard to

956
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,399
Speaker 1: develop that confidence when you're around people that don't look

957
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 1: like you and are praised for looking the way they do,

958
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:21,080
Speaker 1: and you are basically look down for making the way

959
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 1: you look. It's nothing you about it at such a

960
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,759
Speaker 1: young age, you know, so pretty for real. But I

961
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: feel like it also stems from inside. If you believe

962
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 1: that you are like the baddest and you carry yourself

963
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,440
Speaker 1: with that utmost confidence and you walk into the room

964
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 1: even if you look a mess, if you believe that

965
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: you are bad people in that same energy, you know,

966
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 1: I five, you know, yeah, confidence is your best that

967
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: you carry. Really it is, even even if you're faking it.

968
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: Take that smile to make it. And I always tell

969
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: people like another female, like people will not see me

970
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: sweat out here, like you're not. No girl can get

971
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,280
Speaker 1: under my skin. I'll cry a house. Listen, I'll crying

972
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:04,759
Speaker 1: my bed. But when I'm outside you you can't catch

973
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:07,000
Speaker 1: me like do not because people take that as weakness

974
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 1: and I am not awake. You know period, you know period,

975
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: you will not treat me as such. Yeah, so that

976
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,879
Speaker 1: I mean, but that attitude takes developing, right, So we're

977
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 1: talking about like things that happened as a child, like yeah,

978
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 1: like that that built this now this beautiful woman, this

979
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 1: character that that exudes all as bad bitches. Um okay,

980
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't know how we fight that though. For the

981
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:37,360
Speaker 1: younger girls, I don't know. He started. We start telling

982
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 1: them at a young age that they are it, they

983
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: are beautiful. We start letting. We start getting them dolls

984
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:45,399
Speaker 1: that look like them. That's what my father, my dad

985
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,279
Speaker 1: would get me, black dolls. My dad is my that

986
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 1: is my best friend. I love him to pieces. But

987
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 1: we start and we started showing more representation. We start

988
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 1: showing them role model. So growing up, my father would

989
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,799
Speaker 1: always show me condolesa rice and he would be like

990
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 1: this woman just out of that, she's been she's a government,

991
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 1: she's just you. You can be like that. You can

992
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,239
Speaker 1: you can be powerful? You know? And I started, you know,

993
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 1: like I'm hearing it from my father. This is somebody

994
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:09,880
Speaker 1: I love dearly, this is somebody I look up to.

995
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 1: So when we start feeding it to them at a

996
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 1: young agent, and even in schools, making sure that they

997
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 1: see teachers that look like them, they see doctors, that's

998
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 1: how we start getting the confidence up, because when you're

999
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 1: not seeing people like I was. For example, my university,

1000
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,400
Speaker 1: we have a thirty percent dropout rate by second semester

1001
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 1: for African American students. And when I asked some of

1002
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 1: these people like why are you leaving? One with money?

1003
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: Financial too, is like I don't feel like I belonged here,

1004
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 1: Like what's the point of me doing this? There's nobody.

1005
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: There's no teachers that look like me. There's there's nobody.

1006
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, that's why you're here, so

1007
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,919
Speaker 1: you can create that for the next generation. I don't

1008
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:47,400
Speaker 1: know what school it was or was it in the Midwest,

1009
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: but the black they started a black step group. Did

1010
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 1: you see that? It was USC So it's a lot

1011
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 1: of controversy surrounding that because it's like, why don't you

1012
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:01,719
Speaker 1: just go to an HBCU, right as opposed to bring

1013
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: in HBCU culture to a p W. I I wanted

1014
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 1: to go to the hbc U I did. I wanted

1015
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 1: to go to Howard because my father went to Howard UM.

1016
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,400
Speaker 1: But then at the same time, I didn't want to

1017
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 1: go to Howard because I got bullied a lot from

1018
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 1: you know, by black people, and I was just like,

1019
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 1: I was scared. I was like, if I go, what

1020
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: if I'm not accepted. And I was accepted more by,

1021
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 1: like I said, my white peers. So I was just like, yo,

1022
00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I mean, if I experienced racism here,

1023
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:34,919
Speaker 1: it's like I can handle that. I can't. I feel

1024
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:37,360
Speaker 1: like I'm too scared to handle rejection from my own people.

1025
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,520
Speaker 1: I can't because I wouldn't even know how to fight that.

1026
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:41,960
Speaker 1: Like I would just be like how do I can't

1027
00:56:42,040 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: change myself, Like this is what it is. And it

1028
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 1: may not have been like that if I actually want

1029
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 1: it may not be like that at all, but I

1030
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: already had that instilled in my head. Yeah, the values

1031
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 1: within the black man in America, they just have to change.

1032
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 1: It's like not cool to be smart, right, It's not

1033
00:56:56,960 --> 00:57:00,439
Speaker 1: cool to have not grown up in the hood. Um,

1034
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,600
Speaker 1: I used to get teased. Not well, nobody could ever

1035
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 1: tease me because I got an hour at the stand

1036
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 1: up comedy for anybody. And that's been since first grade.

1037
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:09,040
Speaker 1: But I remember being on the school bus when our

1038
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 1: bus started picking up a neighborhood across the street. They

1039
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:13,879
Speaker 1: would be in the back of the bus like, y'all

1040
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: don't even got no trash on your street? Like what

1041
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 1: you're talking ship to us, because we don't have trash

1042
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: on our streets. And you know, you can live in

1043
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 1: the hood, it doesn't have to look like it though.

1044
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 1: You can live in a hood and then you still

1045
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 1: take care of your community. That's what it balls down to.

1046
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 1: Who cares that it's low income? It doesn't have to

1047
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 1: look like low income. And that's just something that we

1048
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 1: have to work on as a collective in America because

1049
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: we don't. We don't. We don't, uh, black and Black

1050
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 1: Americans don't have enough pride. I think we don't have

1051
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 1: enough pride in being black. We say we do, but

1052
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 1: we don't have enough. We say it, but it is

1053
00:57:53,360 --> 00:58:02,439
Speaker 1: it actually exuded, you know, physically exactly black lives. Yeah,

1054
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 1: because you know, why why does a student come from

1055
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 1: Africa and then because I hear this, I have other

1056
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 1: friends that are also African and they have the same stories, like,

1057
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:12,919
Speaker 1: you know, they grew up hanging out with the white

1058
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: kids because they were teased by the black kids, you know.

1059
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:18,920
Speaker 1: And now as adults we could kind of flip that

1060
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: a little bit and say, hey, they come up with

1061
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 1: all type of words from Black Americans African adults, right,

1062
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,360
Speaker 1: so now it's kind of like it's cool to be

1063
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:30,440
Speaker 1: from Africa. Now, put you the chiky on to go

1064
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 1: watch Black Panther and ship like that. But you tease kids,

1065
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 1: you know, when you were younger. So I mean, it's

1066
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 1: it's a part of a growing um just people. Um,

1067
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 1: it's it's a lot of self hate. Ship. We just

1068
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:46,840
Speaker 1: have to work through and it and it's the things

1069
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 1: that you were taught. Because I ain't gonna lie. When

1070
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 1: I was a little kid, I never did. I never

1071
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 1: ever did it. But we it would be back and forth.

1072
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 1: It wouldn't be just me. Yeah, it would be like

1073
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: they talking ship too, you know, and it was like

1074
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:04,720
Speaker 1: different ship that I didn't understand. And that's why I did.

1075
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 1: Like because I walked into they were they had came

1076
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 1: they were washing their feet in the sink at school,

1077
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:13,560
Speaker 1: and being a black American, I had never seen that.

1078
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 1: So I was like, bitch, get your foot out the sint.

1079
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 1: But I didn't know what. You know, it was part

1080
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 1: of their culture. I don't know what why they were

1081
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:23,480
Speaker 1: doing it. And I do remember like saying, bitch, get

1082
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 1: your foot out the saint. I'm sorry I remember saying that.

1083
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 1: But so I can't understand where why someone would grow

1084
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 1: up as an African in America and be like y'all,

1085
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 1: it's like I get it sometimes when like the Africans

1086
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: are like you know, A B and C. I get

1087
00:59:40,280 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 1: it and like because like you know, we've all dealt

1088
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: with well as an African child, like we all dealt

1089
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 1: with some type of discrimination because we are African. Um.

1090
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: But again, Africana Studies has opened my eyes a little

1091
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:55,480
Speaker 1: bit and people be like, oh, Nigerian's or Africans think

1092
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 1: they're better than us. We're not. We don't think we're better,

1093
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: but just prideful people because imagine and coming here and

1094
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:05,520
Speaker 1: then getting bullied and ridiculed by everybody by some random

1095
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 1: bits talking about why you're fooding. We just have so

1096
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,480
Speaker 1: much pride within ourselves and we love our culture and

1097
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:12,960
Speaker 1: we love ourselves so much that you can't break us down.

1098
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:16,160
Speaker 1: So we have we we we are very prideful people,

1099
01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: you know. And like if I'll tell anybody, I'm proud

1100
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: to be a Nigerian, Like there's there's I love that

1101
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,600
Speaker 1: about myself. So like when I see people say like, oh,

1102
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 1: Africans are they think they're better, It's like, no, we

1103
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 1: don't think we're better. We we are just proud. We're

1104
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 1: very prideful people because when our parents came here and

1105
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 1: they were knocked down, When we go to school and

1106
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:37,280
Speaker 1: we're bullied, we can't just break. There's none of there's

1107
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 1: none of that breaking in an African household. There's none

1108
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 1: of that. If I tell my mom my dad this

1109
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 1: guy called me ugly, my dad would looking at my face,

1110
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 1: but like are you ugly? And that's it. That is

1111
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 1: the end of it. There's no going to school, there's

1112
01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 1: no going teacher, there's none of that. Like you gotta

1113
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 1: tough en up. So it's I'm glad that you know

1114
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 1: you talked about it, like how you used to be

1115
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:56,600
Speaker 1: the one to make um talk, to make fun of

1116
01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: the Africans. Because the step, the first step to healing

1117
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 1: is not which man and like understanding. So like I,

1118
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 1: like I said, I've been bullying. I was president of

1119
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,040
Speaker 1: b as she in high school, the black I was

1120
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: impeached because I wasn't black enough. What is black enough?

1121
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: So hold on what? Yeah, because I want to hear

1122
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 1: what did they say that we're not really black? So

1123
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,280
Speaker 1: you couldn't identify? You do not with what it was

1124
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 1: to be black Americans? Yes, exactly there, like you don't

1125
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 1: understand us, so why should you be the president of

1126
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:28,280
Speaker 1: black student union? And that broke me because people got

1127
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: that like we gotta let that hate and that hurt go.

1128
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 1: That's all it is. They're just a lot of hurt.

1129
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:37,200
Speaker 1: But I was never did it. I was never. I

1130
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 1: was I was never because the way my father raised

1131
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: me is to love everyone. My dad went to Howard University.

1132
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 1: He's a Nigerian man. If you if you ever meet

1133
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 1: this man, six something, dark skinned African man, Nigerian accent everything.

1134
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 1: But he always told me he was like I dealt

1135
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:54,720
Speaker 1: with the same thing, but we can't be angry because

1136
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 1: they just don't know and some people have different you know,

1137
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 1: you know, perspective on that. But that tell my father

1138
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 1: raised me and my mother you know, so, yeah, are

1139
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 1: your parents? Are you asking? You trying to get at

1140
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 1: her daddy? Look it's been Look I'm literally over here

1141
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 1: calculating I had an abortion as this team, this bitch

1142
01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 1: could have been my child. I could definitely funk with

1143
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: her daddy. Like I'm literally calculating out in my mind.

1144
01:02:20,360 --> 01:02:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, fraid I wasn't a girl. I ain't trying

1145
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,400
Speaker 1: to funk your daddy. I don't know what people man

1146
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:30,880
Speaker 1: who married a you're about woman, brought her to l

1147
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: A and gave her house, gave her the kids. Yes,

1148
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:39,040
Speaker 1: that's beautiful. And see that's why you have the mindset

1149
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 1: that you have. You come from a two parent household.

1150
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 1: I just really feel like that's so important that we grow.

1151
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: We raised our children in it too. That's another thing

1152
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 1: that's not more valued. We're trying. We're trying to get there.

1153
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 1: That's why it's hard. Dating is hard, Like it's because

1154
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 1: in my head, like the way my father treated my

1155
01:02:56,680 --> 01:03:00,160
Speaker 1: mother is that's that's what I look for, Like not

1156
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,680
Speaker 1: reminded me of my father, the way the effort he

1157
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 1: put into my mom is not going to work. Only

1158
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: because I see that that type of love exists. I

1159
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 1: want it. I want my kids happy mommy and daddy

1160
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 1: like in love and at your parent household my dad

1161
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 1: taking me to soccer practice. I went to private school,

1162
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 1: like I want that life for my kids. That's where

1163
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,880
Speaker 1: I had growing up, you know, And it makes dating

1164
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:24,840
Speaker 1: very difficult sometimes because sometimes people don't see that. You know,

1165
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 1: they don't have that connection, but they don't see that

1166
01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 1: type of mindset that I have. Like I'm in school

1167
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 1: for my master's. Right when I graduated high school my bachelor's.

1168
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 1: My mom looked at me, was like, okay, so you

1169
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:40,560
Speaker 1: graduated high school with the bachelors. No, no, I went

1170
01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:42,440
Speaker 1: I got I'm my graduated high school and I got

1171
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 1: my bachelor's in Kinesi and that. They were like, that's

1172
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:48,840
Speaker 1: basically going to elementary. I'm almost like okay, and then

1173
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,240
Speaker 1: now I'm doing my my masters and my mom was like, okay,

1174
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 1: maybe we'll throw your party this time. Maybe like maybe,

1175
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,440
Speaker 1: but like I come, but when you get your pH d.

1176
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,480
Speaker 1: That's why I don't think I'm doing that one. I

1177
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 1: had to I just sit my parents down break the

1178
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:05,360
Speaker 1: news to them because this master's okay yeah, Because Nigerian

1179
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 1: parents are like, you need to be a doctor, engineer,

1180
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:10,480
Speaker 1: a lawyer or something like that. That that broke my

1181
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 1: mom's heart, me even me telling everyone. I mean, like

1182
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 1: I said, I'm talking to someone. But if I told

1183
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 1: her like I wasn't gonna marry Nigerian, she would have

1184
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 1: a heart attack, a real my heart attack. So let's

1185
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 1: get into that. Are you dating and Nigerian? Now? Like,

1186
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 1: because when we met, you was like, I'm single and

1187
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: fun like me to a girl. Let's talk about it.

1188
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:35,680
Speaker 1: Um Nigerian? Okay, yeah, he's Nigerian and where'd you meet? Um?

1189
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:38,479
Speaker 1: I've known him for a long time. And then um,

1190
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:41,120
Speaker 1: we just didn't talk for a while, and then we

1191
01:04:41,240 --> 01:04:43,919
Speaker 1: started talking back up. And then it was just like

1192
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:47,919
Speaker 1: we just jeld really well, and how y'all started talking

1193
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: back up. I don't really check who watches my stories

1194
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 1: like that, because you know, there's always a lot of

1195
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:53,880
Speaker 1: people that watches my stories. And then one day I

1196
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:55,720
Speaker 1: was just seeing watched my stories and I saw his

1197
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 1: name pop up. I was like, I haven't seen him

1198
01:04:57,880 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: in a while, Like how is he doing? Just to

1199
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 1: check up on him. Then I want his page and

1200
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,560
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, he's I forgot how cute he goes?

1201
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 1: I was like, is he is? He? Is he single?

1202
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 1: Because he's you know, he's good looking, he's tall, you know,

1203
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,600
Speaker 1: so I just hit him up. I was like hey, hey,

1204
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 1: you know and then I was like real quick question

1205
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,640
Speaker 1: straight to it. Are you single? And then he told

1206
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 1: me yeah, and then he was like the period, let's

1207
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 1: be good like you single to let's get this and

1208
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 1: then yeah and just so yeah, long story short, I'm

1209
01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:31,640
Speaker 1: I'm talking from So are there like is it a

1210
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:36,560
Speaker 1: large community of Africans in l A? Because that was

1211
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:41,080
Speaker 1: my question when when dam told me he's not. Oh

1212
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,560
Speaker 1: you said that, So this guy is not in l A.

1213
01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:46,160
Speaker 1: So okay, so it would have been impossible for you

1214
01:05:46,200 --> 01:05:49,040
Speaker 1: to find it's gonna it's impossible for you to find

1215
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 1: your mate in l A at this point. It's what

1216
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:55,120
Speaker 1: you're saying. I just feel like my I just feel

1217
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,560
Speaker 1: like I can't where he don't want to like the

1218
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 1: Atlanta Okay, Oh that's good. Listen. I went on a

1219
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 1: date with a Nigerian man when I first moved to

1220
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: Atlanta years ago. I'm literally on a date with a man.

1221
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 1: You'll hear that part right. A man invited me out

1222
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,400
Speaker 1: planning the place. I'm literally on a date with a

1223
01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:16,880
Speaker 1: man that says Atlanta is no place to find a mate.

1224
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:19,880
Speaker 1: That's what he told me on a date. So I'm like,

1225
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,280
Speaker 1: why the funk are we out? So the man you

1226
01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 1: were actually on a date with said exactly holiday at

1227
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,360
Speaker 1: me in the club. That's how we ended up here, right,

1228
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 1: And you're telling me And we're still good friends, Like

1229
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 1: we talked periodically, so this is a long ast time ago,

1230
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:40,120
Speaker 1: but we still But he's still not married, still having

1231
01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:42,680
Speaker 1: no kids. You know what I really feel like they're

1232
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:44,120
Speaker 1: like when I meet a man and I was like,

1233
01:06:44,160 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 1: where are you from, they'd be like, that's why I

1234
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,840
Speaker 1: asked where he was from, just to make sure he

1235
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,800
Speaker 1: wasn't in Atlanta. So he'll say, you might do well,

1236
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 1: you might do well, you know I I guess he's Nigerian.

1237
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: Would be the first Nigerian guy actually, Like, you might

1238
01:06:59,040 --> 01:07:01,480
Speaker 1: move to I want gonna move to Houston. Yeah, and

1239
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:03,160
Speaker 1: you've been in l A your whole life. Time for

1240
01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:09,600
Speaker 1: a change. Yeah, that's take a chance. I don't know, Oh,

1241
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 1: come in to America home. Sorry to get your want

1242
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:19,560
Speaker 1: that for you? I want that for me too. But

1243
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:21,960
Speaker 1: you know, we'll see. It's great because he's Ebo like

1244
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:25,320
Speaker 1: my dad. So people men be taking the otherwise. So

1245
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:32,200
Speaker 1: all right, For do you have any advice for women

1246
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:36,480
Speaker 1: in l A trying to meet a black man? What

1247
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:38,720
Speaker 1: would you say? What advice would you give him? Just

1248
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:43,160
Speaker 1: be ready, don't like, just have your confidence of because

1249
01:07:43,400 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 1: it's like you know how they say, like if you

1250
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:46,080
Speaker 1: go to a casting call, you're gonna get a whole

1251
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 1: bunch of nose before you get a yes. The same thing.

1252
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:50,600
Speaker 1: Just be ready to be ready to hear I don't

1253
01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:53,040
Speaker 1: date black women. Just be ready to hear some nonsense

1254
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 1: of like or I think one guy said, oh, I

1255
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 1: like your skin tone. Where do you from? I said,

1256
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm Nigerian. He's like, that's why you're that color. I'm like, sir,

1257
01:08:01,920 --> 01:08:03,800
Speaker 1: like what are you talking about? What are you even

1258
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:06,840
Speaker 1: talking about? So I just get ready for ignorant statements.

1259
01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:10,240
Speaker 1: And also don't be afraid to put your foot down

1260
01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:13,520
Speaker 1: and say no if you don't accept someone to treat

1261
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:16,360
Speaker 1: you a certain way, because they will try it. And

1262
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:18,240
Speaker 1: I mean I'm not just saying black men will try it.

1263
01:08:18,280 --> 01:08:21,160
Speaker 1: Everybody will try it, but it's gonna we're gonna feel

1264
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:23,120
Speaker 1: it more because it's coming from us, you know, what

1265
01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:26,639
Speaker 1: I mean. So I I guess my my advice would

1266
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 1: be like just make sure your confidences of and never

1267
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:32,599
Speaker 1: let your crown tilt because l A is not it's

1268
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:34,479
Speaker 1: not for the week. I said, it's really for the week.

1269
01:08:34,760 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 1: So insecure is a big facade right used to raise insecure.

1270
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 1: There's really like no black black relationships and okay, they're

1271
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:49,120
Speaker 1: all they probably came together, maybe not, or they imported

1272
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:54,160
Speaker 1: somebody from someplace else. It's well like if you're like

1273
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:56,600
Speaker 1: me and you don't date l A guys, maybe but

1274
01:08:56,760 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 1: like they're they're they're they're there, but like I'm just same.

1275
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:02,160
Speaker 1: Majority of the time, you do see a lot more

1276
01:09:02,240 --> 01:09:08,439
Speaker 1: black with somebody else. Interesting. Yeah, well it be an

1277
01:09:08,479 --> 01:09:10,920
Speaker 1: eight percent of the population out there. It's kind of hard.

1278
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,519
Speaker 1: You're gonna almost have to date outside of your race

1279
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:18,600
Speaker 1: and too, Like, trust me, I've been through my my

1280
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:21,000
Speaker 1: fair share of like my my my home. Girls will

1281
01:09:21,040 --> 01:09:25,680
Speaker 1: tell your horror stories, you know, oh really, Well, we

1282
01:09:25,800 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 1: have a segment on this show called dumb Bitch Stories.

1283
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:33,280
Speaker 1: Dumb Bitch Stories because we've all been a dumb bitch

1284
01:09:33,360 --> 01:09:37,680
Speaker 1: at least once or twice, and it's pretty much kind

1285
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,639
Speaker 1: of like given your horror story with dating, like where

1286
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:43,320
Speaker 1: someone tried to play you or a time you know

1287
01:09:43,600 --> 01:09:46,400
Speaker 1: you just wasn't treated fairly. Can you share one of

1288
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:49,639
Speaker 1: those stories of us? M LORDI what do I want

1289
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 1: to So? I mean I could tell a little story.

1290
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:55,479
Speaker 1: There's one time. Well I'm a very I like to give,

1291
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:58,040
Speaker 1: I like to help people. I'm not gonna go too

1292
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:00,519
Speaker 1: much into details about this because it's still embarrassing and

1293
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,560
Speaker 1: still burns my soul. And um, like I said, I

1294
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:07,519
Speaker 1: was raising household where money you give money because money

1295
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:10,040
Speaker 1: comes and goes like it was never like you know,

1296
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:12,960
Speaker 1: we were on our last dollar. You know, I didn't

1297
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 1: have to work a lot in my life because my

1298
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:18,200
Speaker 1: dad paid for everything. So it's one dude needed help.

1299
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 1: And I don't like to loan money because I hate

1300
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,680
Speaker 1: asking for my money back. It's the most uncomfortable thing

1301
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 1: for me. So then you know, I gave him some

1302
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:28,479
Speaker 1: money when he asked me again for some money, gave

1303
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,360
Speaker 1: him some more money because he kept he kept saying

1304
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:33,679
Speaker 1: he needed help. And then he goes to me after

1305
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:36,679
Speaker 1: he'd like to come the money. And then I'm still testing,

1306
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:38,519
Speaker 1: like hey, are you I'm still trying to be nice

1307
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,640
Speaker 1: to this person like I'm still trying to hey, are

1308
01:10:40,680 --> 01:10:43,240
Speaker 1: you okay? How are you doing? Are you all? Is

1309
01:10:43,280 --> 01:10:48,479
Speaker 1: everything all good? Blah blah blah blah blah. And when

1310
01:10:48,479 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about them when because the

1311
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 1: amount tell us how much your Your daddy ain't going

1312
01:10:54,439 --> 01:10:58,240
Speaker 1: to mom if oh, if they ever watched this, I'm

1313
01:10:58,280 --> 01:11:00,679
Speaker 1: sorry dad. They're gonna tell me I to appreciate money.

1314
01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:06,240
Speaker 1: That's what they're gonna tell me about in total, even

1315
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:10,880
Speaker 1: things like upers and stuff that I've spent. Okay, that's

1316
01:11:10,920 --> 01:11:19,639
Speaker 1: not too bad. I just say too bad to two

1317
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:22,479
Speaker 1: bands like nah, bro, you need to run that two

1318
01:11:22,520 --> 01:11:24,840
Speaker 1: bands back, like I need that. I don't know how

1319
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find him. Tell him right now, you don't

1320
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:32,479
Speaker 1: get that money back? Girls and nigga me right now, girl,

1321
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:37,479
Speaker 1: tell him right now that he'd be like posting on

1322
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,639
Speaker 1: Instagram and stuff. And then I'm still trying to be nice,

1323
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:41,680
Speaker 1: Like that's the crazy thing, like I'm still trying to,

1324
01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:45,920
Speaker 1: hey you good, just checking up on you. I just

1325
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:49,840
Speaker 1: feel like somebody move more on my forehead. Move by

1326
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,600
Speaker 1: the way in um my life, just so they just

1327
01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:54,920
Speaker 1: won't move on my forehead, like dummy, was this some

1328
01:11:55,000 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 1: one you were and no again, I don't know. I

1329
01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:02,600
Speaker 1: was trying to get to know him, like I was

1330
01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:05,559
Speaker 1: trying to, like, you know, like hopefully like see where

1331
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:11,679
Speaker 1: it goes. And um, yeah he showed me. He really,

1332
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:15,120
Speaker 1: he took a verriage of my nice sense. Just um.

1333
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:18,800
Speaker 1: And then here comes somebody that you might really like,

1334
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,840
Speaker 1: that might need some help, and now you don't want

1335
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:23,240
Speaker 1: to help them because you've already been burned by this person.

1336
01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:26,960
Speaker 1: It's absolutely dead. Unless I see a paycheck coming into

1337
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,960
Speaker 1: your every week, it's dead. Like, don't don't ask me

1338
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:32,519
Speaker 1: for it unless you are my man, like we are

1339
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,160
Speaker 1: locked in. Yeah, you probably shouldn't give people money who

1340
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:38,439
Speaker 1: you've never seen with money, you know what I'm saying.

1341
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:42,559
Speaker 1: They were acting like they had it though, Like that's

1342
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:48,040
Speaker 1: the thing they you know that, what's the tinder swindler? Yeah,

1343
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:51,320
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying. M m. Yeah, Like he

1344
01:12:51,479 --> 01:12:53,400
Speaker 1: made it seem like he was good. So like when

1345
01:12:53,439 --> 01:12:54,800
Speaker 1: he needed help, I was like, all right, I'll just

1346
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:58,519
Speaker 1: get my money back. Yeah. Well it took you two him.

1347
01:12:58,840 --> 01:13:00,960
Speaker 1: It could have been worse, could have gotten claim media

1348
01:13:04,120 --> 01:13:07,639
Speaker 1: and you gotta you got a life lesson early Yeah,

1349
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:15,519
Speaker 1: I mean out with the old Houston. Every tell everybody

1350
01:13:15,560 --> 01:13:17,880
Speaker 1: where they can find you. Plug anything you want to

1351
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:20,240
Speaker 1: plug less not so, you guys can find me on

1352
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:22,960
Speaker 1: Instagram at a fete Egan which is e f e

1353
01:13:23,240 --> 01:13:25,400
Speaker 1: t I E g u n. Or you can find

1354
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:27,800
Speaker 1: me on TikTok same name e f e T I'm

1355
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:31,759
Speaker 1: e g u n. And that's that's where were But Instagram,

1356
01:13:31,920 --> 01:13:35,880
Speaker 1: that's that's where. That's where I be at mostly. So yes, y'all,

1357
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:39,280
Speaker 1: she's a beautiful y'all go follow her and she posts

1358
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:42,439
Speaker 1: a lot of funny like you posted a video as

1359
01:13:42,479 --> 01:13:44,679
Speaker 1: a man. Oh yeah, yeah, that that was a video.

1360
01:13:45,040 --> 01:13:47,920
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get back into my comedic side, you know,

1361
01:13:48,040 --> 01:13:49,960
Speaker 1: but I feel like my sense of humor is not

1362
01:13:50,040 --> 01:13:52,360
Speaker 1: for everybody. I'm a little bit dark, just a little

1363
01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 1: well that's for some people too, you know. I like

1364
01:13:56,840 --> 01:14:02,000
Speaker 1: a little dark humor every now you can laugh at ourselves.

1365
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:06,160
Speaker 1: It's just like you know, all right, y'all listen. So

1366
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:09,040
Speaker 1: if you enjoyed this episode, please tune in every Thursday

1367
01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:11,200
Speaker 1: on the I Heart Radio Apple wherever the fun you

1368
01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:13,800
Speaker 1: get your podcast that this is your co host a

1369
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:18,840
Speaker 1: j Holiday two points. Oh, y'all follow me on instagrams alograms,

1370
01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:22,880
Speaker 1: what's up, Tam, y'all Follow me too on Instagram official

1371
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,960
Speaker 1: Tam BAM. I love y'all, Thank y'all for tuning in,

1372
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:28,920
Speaker 1: and we'll see y'all motherfucker's next time. Remember to speak

1373
01:14:28,960 --> 01:14:30,559
Speaker 1: now and never hold your piece