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Speaker 1: You're listening to Jojosa Now with me, Jojo Siua and

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio Podcast. All right, welcome back to Jojo. See what now,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna start crying. Oh my god. We are about

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Speaker 1: too deep dive into a scary, scary, scary topic, very

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Speaker 1: scary topic. But it's gonna be light. It's gonna be light,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be fluffy, it's gonna be fun, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be energetic. We talking about the history of my love life.

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Speaker 1: Oh dear god, Oh my god. All right, Ah well,

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Speaker 1: let me just say my love life has been a

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Speaker 1: very very public affair. I've been very public about a

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Speaker 1: lot of parts of my love life, for sure. There

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Speaker 1: recently has been more that I've kept very private. I

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Speaker 1: will say that I've learned a lot lot of lessons

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna deep dive on that. Stay tuned. But

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Speaker 1: I wanted to just kind of go like back in time,

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Speaker 1: because there's as much as the world knows or things

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Speaker 1: they know, there's a lot that the world does not

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Speaker 1: know at all. And we are going back to POV.

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Speaker 1: I'm going with two thousand and let's say twenty eleven.

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Speaker 1: I was a really cute eight years old. Are you

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Speaker 1: ready for this? Well, okay, actually, let's go even back

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Speaker 1: in time a little bit further. I when I was

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Speaker 1: very young. Everybody has their like cutey little crushes, right,

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Speaker 1: I did have a crush on my neighbor. His name,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think his name was Carter. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I was literally like three or four. I

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Speaker 1: was very very young, had a little crush on him. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: cut to third grade, and I don't know if you

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Speaker 1: guys know this or not, but I'm actually a married woman.

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Speaker 1: When I was in third grade, I got proposed to

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Speaker 1: at Recess. I went for the last semester of third grade.

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Speaker 1: That's why I realized I was right there. However, for

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Speaker 1: the last semester of third grade, just to make sure

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to go to school, make sure I

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Speaker 1: didn't want that to be my life, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. And it definitely was not the life for me.

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Speaker 1: I was on track with schooling. That was another reason.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to make sure that I was, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: where I needed to be, and very much so. Was

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Speaker 1: we're chilling Anyways, One day, the bad boy his name

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Speaker 1: was Braxton, and he he was cutie like he was

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Speaker 1: like a cutie little boy, but he was a bad boy.

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Speaker 1: He got in trouble. He was sitting in time out

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Speaker 1: at recess. Well, rumor had it he was gonna propose

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Speaker 1: to me that day that he was sitting at timeout

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Speaker 1: and I can, like, I can picture this so vividly.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's one of those memories I like,

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Speaker 1: I genuinely don't have a photo of can't don't have

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Speaker 1: a photo of him, but like, I can see him,

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Speaker 1: if that makes sense. I can see the thing he

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Speaker 1: gave me, I can see where I put it, I

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Speaker 1: can see where it all happened. So I walk over

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Speaker 1: to him and we're I mean, we're babies at this

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Speaker 1: point time, we're eight years old. And I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I heard you have something to tell me today and

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Speaker 1: he was like yeah, and I was like what is it.

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Speaker 1: He was like, will you marry me? And I was

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Speaker 1: like yeah, we had never talked before this. Keep in mind,

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Speaker 1: it was very much so just like rumor had it,

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Speaker 1: he was gonna ask me out and ask me to

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Speaker 1: marry him, apparently. And he gave me this like cutie

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Speaker 1: little like glassy jak ring that comes on the top

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Speaker 1: of a cupcake and yeah, I put it in my

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Speaker 1: cubby in my laundry room at my house. We had

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Speaker 1: like this big stack of cubbies that our shoes would

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Speaker 1: go in, and I popped that ring in there, and

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Speaker 1: rumor has it's still there to this day. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm engaged. I'm off the market now, apparently engaged with

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Speaker 1: a man for God for twelve years now. Obviously I'm kidding.

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Speaker 1: That story is a very true story, but are so

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Speaker 1: I'm kidding about the whole engaged thing. Anyways, after that,

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Speaker 1: I that is when I went on to Abby's alto

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Speaker 1: and dance competition, and boy, oh boy, did I have

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Speaker 1: a crush on Travis. Now, see, I don't. It's weird

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Speaker 1: because obviously now I'm very very if you didn't know,

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Speaker 1: very very gay, and I don't find I can appreciate

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Speaker 1: men's attraction nowadays, but I don't find them. I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not. I don't think I will ever

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Speaker 1: fall for a man anymore. I consider myself a lesbian,

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Speaker 1: and so I look back at my life and I think, like,

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Speaker 1: how much of all of that, all the boy crushes,

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Speaker 1: was real? How much of that was me being like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I need to have a crush on a boy. How

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Speaker 1: many girls in my life that were my friends did

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Speaker 1: I actually, like actually have a crush on but like

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Speaker 1: was like too scared to realize it or admit it,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, anyways, Bob, I do

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Speaker 1: audc Abmay's also in dance Competition, my first TV show.

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Speaker 1: They edited this out of the first episode, but it's

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Speaker 1: so sad. It was my first date that I ever

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Speaker 1: went on, and it was with Travis. We had a

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Speaker 1: duo and they set us on this little date. We

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Speaker 1: got to go into Crafty and pick out snacks. We

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Speaker 1: got oranges and em and m's and we sat on

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Speaker 1: the stairs and we ate them and we talked and

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Speaker 1: we held hands. It was cute. It was really cute. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: nothing ever came of that. The best part about it

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Speaker 1: is Travis. Now we talk about this, We've talked about

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Speaker 1: it a few times. Travis is very openly gay. I'm

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Speaker 1: very openly gay. So we were like, that's why we

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Speaker 1: were both okay with this because we both knew, which

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Speaker 1: is great. It's amazing. It just works. If it works,

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Speaker 1: it works, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. So then

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Speaker 1: I come home from audc and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I get my first real official boyfriend. What's his name?

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Speaker 1: I don't remember? How did I meet him on Instagram?

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Speaker 1: What did my mom do make me break up with

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Speaker 1: him in eight hours? Now? I thought I was breaking

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Speaker 1: this man's heart and apparently I was, at nine years old,

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Speaker 1: don't know what this kid was really. Never talked to him,

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Speaker 1: talked for about a day, and he was like, want

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Speaker 1: to be my girlfriend? And I was like, frick ye

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Speaker 1: I do, and yeah. We dated for eight hours and

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Speaker 1: then that was it. Mom made me in things which

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Speaker 1: honestly valid. I would make my kid, Freddy to do

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Speaker 1: the same. Freddie is not my kid yet, Freddie will

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Speaker 1: be my kid one day. If I ever talked about kids, Freddie,

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Speaker 1: Eddie and Teddy, Freddy's my baby girl, and then Eddie

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Speaker 1: and Teddy are the twin boys. Those are my babies

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Speaker 1: one day. Anyways, then I am definitely off the dating

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Speaker 1: scene for a very long time. Then I don't want

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Speaker 1: anything to do with crushes. Think they're silly, think they're

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Speaker 1: waste of time. Then I turned twelve, and that's when

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Speaker 1: I was on Dance Moms, and so it was very

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Speaker 1: When we were on Dance Moms, there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of us girls, and it was very much like who

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Speaker 1: do you have a crush on? Who do you have

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Speaker 1: a crush on? Who do you have a crush on?

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Speaker 1: And stuff. For me, I was like, well, damn, I

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Speaker 1: need to have a crush. Let's go h Thomas. And

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Speaker 1: I'm John talking very openly about this because it is

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Speaker 1: all public out there. If you scroll back on my

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Speaker 1: life far enough, you would find all of this information.

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Speaker 1: But no one's gonna take time to scroll three years.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna give it to you all now

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Speaker 1: in a thirty minute podcast. Had a crush on a

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Speaker 1: kid named Thomas. He was on Nickelodeon. He was very

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Speaker 1: very cuteie boy. He was awesome, super nice kid. We

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Speaker 1: became really good friends. All I wanted was for this

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Speaker 1: boy to kiss me on my thirteenth birthday. Did it

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Speaker 1: happen spoiler alert No, but didn't. We text and where

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Speaker 1: were so cute? We were so cute? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: looking back, it was so cute. It was very thirsty.

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Speaker 1: I was very desperate. I gave very much so pick

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Speaker 1: me girl, which is fine, but it just obviously is

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Speaker 1: not the vibe now. Anyways, I used to be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I want to play a game. The yeah, let's play game.

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Speaker 1: And I'd be like, let's play two truths and a

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Speaker 1: lie and he'd be like, okay, this is all over text.

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Speaker 1: How this man ever tolerated me or was friends with me,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Thomas. I'm so sorry for this. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I love to sing and dance. I

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Speaker 1: have a massive crush on you. I own thirty seven cats,

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Speaker 1: which one is a lie? Like I and I would

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Speaker 1: do that so often, like then he would do his,

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Speaker 1: and his would be like, I'm from Argentina. My name

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Speaker 1: is Thomas. I'm on Nickelodeon, like it was so like chill.

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Speaker 1: Then I'd be like from Argentina's for sure the lie.

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Speaker 1: Then I would be like you would think like I

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Speaker 1: would get the hint, like yo real back in. Then

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Speaker 1: I would be like, I really really miss you. I

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Speaker 1: think you're cute. I'm forty seven years old, like just

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Speaker 1: so stupid, Jojo so stupid. Obviously had no game or

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Speaker 1: did I have the best game. I mean, Joe Relman

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Speaker 1: was kind of doing her big one. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: lie anyways, Thomas crushed that fizzled out. Then I moved

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Speaker 1: on to Robert Irwin had a massive crush on Robert Irwin.

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Speaker 1: Was obsessed with the man. Thought we were for sure

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Speaker 1: gonna get married, Like was was convinced we were gonna

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Speaker 1: get married. And then cut to I actually, for real,

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Speaker 1: for the first time ever, had a little bit of

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Speaker 1: a fling with a person, and this was my first.

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Speaker 1: The first two flings were with boys, and I had

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Speaker 1: one real boyfriend. And then that's when I kind of realized, like, hey, wait,

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Speaker 1: I was seventeen, We're got okay, No, I need I

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Speaker 1: need to stick in order. I'm almost saying, I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to jump to the good part. I'm trying to switch

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Speaker 1: to girls, guys. I'm trying to get past this whole

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Speaker 1: boy part of my life. But it genuinely was the

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Speaker 1: first seventeen years of my life. So there's there's a lot,

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Speaker 1: there's a thick of it that we got to get through. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: had a cutie little boyfling that was fun, fresh fears.

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Speaker 1: Got my first kiss when I was sixteen. It was cute.

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Speaker 1: I'll give it to us, like whatever we were like,

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Speaker 1: we were a cutie little like vibe and then cut

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Speaker 1: to oh god, cut to later that same year, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: This is in twenty twenty, twenty twenty. This is like

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Speaker 1: POV September. I'm like, all right, Internet's boring right now?

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Speaker 1: What can I do? How can I shake it up?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I want to

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Speaker 1: make the internet think I have a boyfriend. This is

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Speaker 1: at a point in TI where I was very hated

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Speaker 1: on the internet, and I was like, oh, they'll eat

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Speaker 1: this up. So I was like, all right, someone asked

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Speaker 1: me to prom and I was like, sorry, I could go,

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Speaker 1: but like, my boyfriend probably wouldn't like that very much.

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Speaker 1: Did exactly what I thought I was gonna do with

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Speaker 1: the world. Went into a store. Oh my god, who's

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Speaker 1: Jojesi his boyfriend? YadA YadA, YadA, YadA YadA. So then

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Speaker 1: I went with it for a bit and then my

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Speaker 1: friends Kyler and Madison. Madison has a younger brother and

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Speaker 1: his name is Mark, and they were like, hey, they

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Speaker 1: knew what I was doing. They knew like the likes

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Speaker 1: like that it wasn't real because they were very close

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Speaker 1: to me, and they were like, we want to set

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Speaker 1: you up with Madison with her little brother Mark, And

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, yes, please do it.

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Speaker 1: And so then Mark and I met, and they didn't

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Speaker 1: tell Mark, like the whole thing that was going on

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Speaker 1: on the internet with me having this like fake boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: So then Mark saw that and was like what is this?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh god, let me explain myself.

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Speaker 1: So then I had to explain myself and he was

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Speaker 1: like of course naturally he was like I do not

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Speaker 1: believe you. And I was like okay, like I promised,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, talk to your family, like they

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Speaker 1: know what's going on right now. So then he did,

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Speaker 1: and then obviously he became my boyfriend. And he became

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend very fast. It was National Girlfriend Day and

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Speaker 1: or maybe it was National Boyfriend Day. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it was one of the two. And he was like, oh, man,

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Speaker 1: I wish I wish I could actually celebrate today. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, well why can't you? And he was like,

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Speaker 1: cause you know my girlfriend officially And I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: why can't I be? And he was like do you

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Speaker 1: want to be? And I was like yeah, And it

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Speaker 1: was cute. We were driving home from the sugar factory

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Speaker 1: and we were on a little date and he was

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Speaker 1: driving my car and then yeah became his girlfriend. He

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Speaker 1: became my boyfriend. It was cute. That was a fun

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Speaker 1: little relationship. No, nothing bad, just young me, very very

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Speaker 1: very gay, And yeah, I ended things. I've actually I've

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Speaker 1: only ever been in the position where I'm the one

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Speaker 1: to end things. I've never I've never been broken up with,

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Speaker 1: which is interesting because so obviously all of those relationships

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Speaker 1: are like CUTEI fun, Like half of them are all jokes.

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Speaker 1: And then you know, of course Mark, and the one

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Speaker 1: before Mark was very like, it was cute. And also

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Speaker 1: I'm only saying the one before Mark because it wasn't

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Speaker 1: ever very public, and I don't know if he would

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Speaker 1: want it to be public, so I'm being I'm being cautious,

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Speaker 1: I'm being respectful, although I'm sure he would be fine

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Speaker 1: with it being public. We're good friends now today, been

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Speaker 1: in my life for He's literally been in my life

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Speaker 1: since I was like five, maybe we even known each

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Speaker 1: other and like just saw him a few months ago,

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Speaker 1: like we're chill anyways. But those were all just like cute, fun, frivolous.

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Speaker 1: And then when I realized I was gay was right

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Speaker 1: after I had broken up with Mark, and I had

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Speaker 1: a friend who was gay, and I knew she was gay.

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Speaker 1: She had come out to me that year. I kind

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Speaker 1: of had my thoughts beforehand, but then she officially came

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Speaker 1: out to me that year and thought it was cool,

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Speaker 1: and my parents asked me. They were like, what would

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Speaker 1: you do if she ever tried to make a move

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Speaker 1: on you? And I was like ooh, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: she would never she's my best friend, Like that'd be weird.

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Speaker 1: And but I was like, wait, I would enjoy like

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Speaker 1: I would. I would be okay with that. I would

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Speaker 1: like that. And that's kind of when I knew, like

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Speaker 1: for real, like, oh, this is real, like you don't

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Speaker 1: like boys. And that was kind of my first realization.

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Speaker 1: And then when I saw her in person again because

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Speaker 1: we hadn't seen each other for a year. But then

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Speaker 1: when I saw her in person again, I was like, oh, oh, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't like you, like a friend. But of course,

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Speaker 1: you know, in my head, I thought there's no way

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Speaker 1: she would ever like me. YadA, YadA, YadA. A few

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Speaker 1: days later, find out she likes me. It was great.

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Speaker 1: We had a good time. She ended up becoming my

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Speaker 1: first girlfriend. I definitely was in some sort of version

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Speaker 1: of love, not the you're the one love, but for

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Speaker 1: sure some version of love. And it's interesting to look

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Speaker 1: back on because I know in the moment when I

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Speaker 1: was in my first serious relationship that I definitely was

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Speaker 1: convinced that I like that, that was it, Like that

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Speaker 1: she was the one for me. We were getting married,

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Speaker 1: she was gonna be the mother with my children. Like

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Speaker 1: that was definitely a very prominent thought in my head.

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Speaker 1: But now you know, that was three years ago. I'm

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Speaker 1: looking back at it, and I so it was at

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Speaker 1: the very end of twenty twenty, very beginning of twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty one, so a little bit over three years ago.

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Speaker 1: Looking back at it, I'm like, that was definitely some

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Speaker 1: sort of version of love, but it was not the

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Speaker 1: version of love now that I can see that I

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Speaker 1: would have one day, if that makes sense. Now, we

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Speaker 1: had a great relationship. We had great times. We had

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Speaker 1: good times. Of course, every relationship has a hard times,

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Speaker 1: like that's no secret, but very fun learned a lot,

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Speaker 1: had a good time. Very first serious relationship lasted nine

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Speaker 1: months and then I ended things. And so I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: talk about ending things. Being the one that's always had

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Speaker 1: to end them is interesting. It's a tough perspective because

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Speaker 1: you are are very obviously something has happened or something

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Speaker 1: is happening that you don't want to be in the

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Speaker 1: relationship anymore. But then at some point you kind of

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Speaker 1: get convinced, like I'm gonna hurt this person if I leave,

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Speaker 1: so I need to stay. Then you're hurting yourself, But

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Speaker 1: then are you doing any good for them? But it's

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Speaker 1: this person that you care so much about you don't

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Speaker 1: want to hurt them. But then it's it's just like

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Speaker 1: this such just back and forth dynamic, and it gets

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Speaker 1: it gets really tough, and so you're you're double hurting

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Speaker 1: yourself while you're hurting somebody else Whereas I think being

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Speaker 1: the person being broken up with, I feel like if

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Speaker 1: someone broke up with me, I would be very hurt,

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Speaker 1: but I would know that they were making the right

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Speaker 1: choice for them, you know what I mean, versus like

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Speaker 1: being the person that has to do it. Like that's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I've always found it very, very very

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Speaker 1: hard going through breakups for me is something that I

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Speaker 1: take very seriously. It's why I'm very cautious to get

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Speaker 1: into another relationship because I I'm scared of breakups. I

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Speaker 1: think after you go through your first like heartbreak or

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Speaker 1: version of a heartbreak, it scares you for sure, and

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Speaker 1: I think that's kind of where I'm at in life,

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Speaker 1: where I'm like, Okay, wait, do I want to do

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Speaker 1: that to myself again? And I of course I do.

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Speaker 1: But I now have some very very serious criteria and

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Speaker 1: I've learned boundaries and I've learned structure, and it's been hard.

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Speaker 1: I took all of twenty twenty three and I was like, no, dating,

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Speaker 1: grow up, Jojo, find yourself, find your life, find your habits,

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Speaker 1: find out to love properly. Get rid of your toxicity.

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Speaker 1: Because I look, I won't lie. I'm for sure been

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Speaker 1: toxic before, as we all have. Like anybody who thinks

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Speaker 1: they haven't been toxic before, you lie in dear self.

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Speaker 1: We've all been seventeen and eighteen and nineteen, and I'm

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Speaker 1: currently twenty. I'm not much older, and I look back

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, I definitely there's mistakes that I made. There's,

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Speaker 1: of course, mistakes that have just happened, but there's there's

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Speaker 1: a lot that I've learned in the last year that

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Speaker 1: I'm like, now I'm excited to apply to a new relationship, honestly,

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Speaker 1: and some people are going to think that I sound

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Speaker 1: crazy right now, and that is okay. One of the

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Speaker 1: biggest things for me right now that I'm looking for

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Speaker 1: a relationship is somebody who is ready for kids. I

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Speaker 1: am not ready, but I am very near ready, and

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Speaker 1: I think that within the next three save three four.

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Speaker 1: I wish I could say two three, but I still

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Speaker 1: feel like I will be a little young in two years.

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Speaker 1: But I say three four because I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: like pregnant in three babies and four you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. And that is something that I care very

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Speaker 1: very much about. I have wanted kids for a very

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Speaker 1: long time. I of course went away. I make the

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Speaker 1: joke to my family all the time. I'm like, thank

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Speaker 1: God I'm not straight, because if I was, and if

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Speaker 1: it was, that was the process of me getting pregnant,

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Speaker 1: that would be like we would have a four year

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Speaker 1: old by now. I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I've

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Speaker 1: just had a very I've had a very big maternal

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Speaker 1: instinct since I was literally twelve. But of course, you know,

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Speaker 1: me liking women, there is a very different process. All

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00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 1: processes of getting pregnant are difficult and tough and confusing,

356
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Speaker 1: but you know, as as a data bean where there's

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Speaker 1: a little bit of extra steps. So that is something

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Speaker 1: now that I'm really looking for in somebody who's like

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Speaker 1: ready to be there in three years, which I think

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Speaker 1: is why now I gravitate towards people that are older

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Speaker 1: than me. I gravitate towards like twenty seven, twenty eight

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Speaker 1: age because I feel like that's when more people are

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Speaker 1: ready to have little babies. And then one day Freddy,

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00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,479
Speaker 1: Eddie and Eddy will be into the world and then

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Speaker 1: everybody will get to see my fantasy that I've always

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Speaker 1: wanted to live with my children. I can't wait. My

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Speaker 1: friend the other day was like, what are you gonna do,

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Speaker 1: like when you want to come to the studio, Like,

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Speaker 1: how are you gonna do that with kids? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I, Well, they'll be here with us.

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Speaker 1: They will be having the time of their life with

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Speaker 1: us for sure. Oh man, Okay. I feel like I

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Speaker 1: want to just like crack down on some like fun

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00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:37,239
Speaker 1: random dating questions, love life history questions, and just like

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Speaker 1: go freaking in for some fun. One of the first

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Speaker 1: questions is have you been on dating apps? That actually

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Speaker 1: is one of the worst parts, literally worst parts about

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Speaker 1: being a celebrity is you cannot go on dating apps.

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Speaker 1: It sucks. There is a dating app for celebrities called Reya,

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Speaker 1: but there's not a lot of people on it, and

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Speaker 1: you have to get approved. It's a whole thing. You

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00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 1: have to get recommended. It's a whole thing. But the

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00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 1: problem is Tinder bumble hinge. You can make an account,

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Speaker 1: can submit my driver's license, put in my password number. God,

385
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 1: I could give them my social Security number, but there's

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00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 1: something that still registers Jojo Siua. Even if I put

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00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 1: Joelle Siwa, that will flag the account and get it

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Speaker 1: taken down. And so I verified them all all taken down.

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Speaker 1: And it is brutal because I would have so much

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Speaker 1: fun on a dating app. But honestly, I think it's good.

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Speaker 1: I think it keeps me very very sane, and that's

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00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 1: a good thing. Another question, what role do your friends

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00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: and family play in your romantic relationships? This is something

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00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 1: that I have had to learn the very very very

395
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 1: hard way. In the beginning, I told everyone everything. I

396
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 1: told everyone, the good, I told everyone, the bad, everyone

397
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,800
Speaker 1: the happy, I told everyone the sad. Meeting close friends,

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Speaker 1: close family, And that is something that I realized. When

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00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 1: you care about somebody, if so say I'm telling my

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00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 1: mom the bad, write what's going on that's making me

401
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 1: sad in my relationship, which is a very normal, natural thing. Uh,

402
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 1: she is only going to remember that, She's not gonna

403
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,880
Speaker 1: remember the good stuff, and then it kind of made

404
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,479
Speaker 1: her and everybody around me. I'm just using her as

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00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 1: a specific example. Resent the person that I was with,

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00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 1: Resent my partner. And it's happened different times, multiple times.

407
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: And it's hard because I can't get mad at her

408
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,680
Speaker 1: for caring about me, but also at the same time,

409
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 1: it's my fault for sharing too much of the bad.

410
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 1: But I also needed the help with the bad, you

411
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And here's the lesson that I learned,

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Speaker 1: and I swear on my life. I just learned this

413
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: lesson yesterday my very best friends Kelsey. She is actually

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00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: my tap teacher. She said, she says, it depends on

415
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 1: what you're fighting about in your relationship. Are you fighting

416
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 1: about big stuff or are you fighting about small stupid stuff?

417
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: And I thought to myself, I said, oh, yeah, we

418
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 1: only fight about small stuff. That's good. We don't fight

419
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: about big things like that would be good. Like that,

420
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,360
Speaker 1: I was thinking about my past relationships and I was like, yeah,

421
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: we don't fight about anything big. We only fight about

422
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: like little stupid stuff. And as I was thinking that

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Speaker 1: to myself, she said, because if you are, you want

424
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: to be fighting about the big stuff that matters. And

425
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, wait, what do you mean? And

426
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: she was like, well, if you're fighting over stupid, little

427
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 1: everyday things, that's not okay. That's creating a tox environment.

428
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:42,360
Speaker 1: Now if you're fighting over like where not fighting over,

429
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 1: but getting in pickles about like where you want to live,

430
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: what you're freaking wedding financials or your your baby timeline,

431
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 1: Like there's there are big things, how you're gonna be

432
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: your house payment, who's paying the house? Like, there's a

433
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: lot that goes into it. That are big fights, not fights,

434
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 1: but talks I guess a better word. And of course

435
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 1: some of them lead to fights, but big talks. And

436
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,280
Speaker 1: it's interesting because I was like the example that I used,

437
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: there was a water bottle on the table, and I said, wow,

438
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 1: that's crazy because like me and my ex we would

439
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,640
Speaker 1: argue over if that water had too much or too

440
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 1: little water in it to flip and do the water

441
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 1: bottle flip challenge. And Kelsey was like, that's not something

442
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: you should fight over. And I was like, that blew

443
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: my mind. And so I think that that's what my

444
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 1: family could see and my partners is I we were

445
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 1: fighting over small things and they didn't know that that's

446
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 1: what was frustrating them. But I was telling them bad

447
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: stories about small things that we would fight over and

448
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: they would be like, Jojo, that's just unnecessary. You don't

449
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 1: need it. And now now it all makes sense. Literally

450
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: yesterday I learned that lesson. So I was like, that's interesting.

451
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: That's an interesting thing for me to pick up on.

452
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 1: What what are these arguments about. Are they about important

453
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 1: things or are they about small stupid things. They should

454
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 1: be about important things, never those small stupid things. Now,

455
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 1: I will say love can be very fun, whether it

456
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: is true love or it is just like cute love,

457
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: it can be very fun. And there can be a

458
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 1: lot of good with the bad, and it's it's hard

459
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,360
Speaker 1: because you want to enjoy that good so much, but

460
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 1: you also can't let that bad affect you so much.

461
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,199
Speaker 1: And so that's kind of where I've learned to just

462
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: like take it for what it is. When someone shows

463
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,640
Speaker 1: you their true colors, believe them, whether that be good

464
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: or bad. But just just always have your head pretty

465
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: clear as clear as possible. Another question, do you feel

466
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: like you're the chaser or do you like to be chased?

467
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: Oh see, this is so hard for me. I am

468
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,920
Speaker 1: definitely I love the chase. I do love the chase.

469
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: But I hate games. So that's the problem. I don't

470
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 1: like playing games. I don't like if someone plays games

471
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 1: with me like that immediately turns me away from somebody.

472
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: But I love the like I want, but I can't have.

473
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 1: I love it, but I hate the game of it.

474
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: So it's two. I also, even if I wanted to

475
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: be chased, I physically can't let it happen. Like I

476
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: don't know what it is. If I get a text,

477
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna respond to it. If I see you your calling,

478
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to answer it. If you waited three hours

479
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: to respond to me, I'm not gonna wait six I'm

480
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 1: gonna wait three minutes, like I'm I'm I can't help bet.

481
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 1: It's it's bad. How do you find ways to be

482
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: your individual self? Honestly, that's something that I will admit

483
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 1: is a very big flaw in me and relationships in

484
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: the past. I never I never did, and I think

485
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 1: that was a combined effort between me and past partners,

486
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: for sure. But that is something that I really try

487
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,919
Speaker 1: to figure out in twenty twenty three by being alone,

488
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: being looking at my friends, looking at my friends relationships,

489
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: seeing how they live, seeing how the ones their traits

490
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,639
Speaker 1: that I like, their traits that they don't like, the

491
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: traits that I want in a relationship that they have,

492
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,080
Speaker 1: the trades that I don't want. And well, my very

493
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,479
Speaker 1: good friends Rachel and Abby, there there's a lot of

494
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 1: independence in their relationship. And I really really love that

495
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: I have these other friends who work on cruise ships

496
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 1: and they have massive sense of individuality as well. And

497
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 1: I think that I've learned that that is so important

498
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 1: that I have some friends as well who are very

499
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 1: attached at the hip. I actually I have straight friends

500
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: as well who are individual and I have straight friends

501
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: as well who are attached at the hip. And I

502
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: see now what I want to be like, and I

503
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,120
Speaker 1: see who I want to be like, and I see

504
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: what couples I enjoy hanging around as their friend, and

505
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: I want to create that space for my friends as well.

506
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: And it's tough, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Man,

507
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 1: All right, last freaking question, are you ready? It's massive?

508
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 1: Do you want to get married one day? You're never

509
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: gonna believe this. I know I sound crazy, but you

510
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: just got to get on board. When I talk about Freddy,

511
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 1: Eddie and Teddy, I'm very serious. People think in the

512
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,920
Speaker 1: beginning I'm joking about it, and they think a long time,

513
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: especially because their names are hysterical Freddy, Eddie and Teddy. Also,

514
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: if anyone has any middle name, suggestions, poor Freddie, she

515
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: needs a middle name yet. Eddie and Teddy they have

516
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 1: their middle names. You've got Eddie, Anthony, Teddy Tyler. But

517
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: Freddie doesn't have a middle name yet. But I both

518
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: both Eddie and Teddy their middle names are named after somebody,

519
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: and so I want Freddie to also be named after somebody.

520
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 1: But I can't. I can't come up with like what

521
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: rings like Eddie, Anthony Rings, Teddy Tyler, Teddy ty Like

522
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: that is the cutest little name ever, Teddy Tyler rings.

523
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: I was like, Freddie needs like a like what's going

524
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 1: to click? So if you have any suggestions, let me know.

525
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: But back to what I was saying is I am

526
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 1: very serious about it, and I really really want babies

527
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 1: and I think that if somebody partner wise comes into

528
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: my life and is very serious and very good within

529
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 1: these next few years, one million percent I would want

530
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 1: to get married. However, I am dead set on the

531
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: on little baby Freddie coming here in three or four years,

532
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: and so if no one's in my life at that

533
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 1: point in time, kids will be my priority before a

534
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 1: serious relationship and before marriage. And so I think it

535
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: is just like a look into the future, what's gonna happen.

536
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to being married, but at the same time,

537
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I just don't want vibe is. But

538
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: I look at Chrishelle and g Flip and I want

539
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: what they have so bad. I like their relationship. To me,

540
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: I'm just like you two are literally freaking perfect, like

541
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 1: obsessed with them both, and they're both just amazing people.

542
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: And so I'm like this, seeing them married makes me like, oh,

543
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: that looks nice. That looks nice. But then you know,

544
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 1: no one's around in the next three or four years.

545
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: They're gonna they're gonna be marrying me with a baby,

546
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: So it's it's all up for grabs. Man. Oh boy,

547
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: this was only the start of the deep dive of

548
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: my love life. We have a lot to go in

549
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: hard lessons that I've learned, hard things that I've gone through,

550
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: situations that I've never talked about, Situations that I've never

551
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: been public about, things that I have been public about

552
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: that I regret, things that I regret doing, saying, being

553
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: and I will say there's a lot. There's a lot

554
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: that I've learned by making mistakes publicly, and uh, that's

555
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: gonna be a fun deep dive and that is going

556
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: to I think be a very a good learning curve

557
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: and a very good rant session for me, because that's

558
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: what I feel like. This podcast is my personal rant session.

559
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: But it's gonna be a goodrand session for me because

560
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: I've learned a lot of lessons. I've learned that I

561
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: want to keep my love life, believe it or not,

562
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: private from here on out about my life, but what's

563
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: out there's already out there, and so there's no shame

564
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: in talking about it now because it is already out there.

565
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: And I think the only thing that I can do

566
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: is make things more clear, more be more aware of

567
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: what they are, what they were. Uh yeah, that's gonna

568
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: be the game plan. So get freaking ready because that

569
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: that podcast Deep Dive is going to be a whole

570
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: other level good freaking look just on popcorn for that one.

571
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: I love y'all. Thanks for listening to joges Now. I'll

572
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: see you next time. Peace out. Thank you so much

573
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: for listening, everybody. Be sure to follow us on Instagram

574
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: and TikTok at jojes You Now podcast. Be sure to

575
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: write us a review and maybe if you're feeling to

576
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: leave us five stars. I'll see you next week.