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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: This week's special guest, We've got Gretchen Rossi coming on.

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Speaker 1: I did a song with her, just came out. I

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Speaker 1: love it. You're sweet. It's called Nothing Without You. But

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Speaker 1: she you know, I think I think she's off the

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Speaker 1: franchise Housewives. I'm not really sure.

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Speaker 2: I have a lot of questions. Are we married, are

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Speaker 2: we not married? Are we in a franchise? Are we

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Speaker 2: out of a franchise like Gretchen.

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Speaker 1: We need some clarification, so many questions, and then we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the song too. Because I loved her story.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know why she wrote it, but then I

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Speaker 1: found out about it because I really didn't know her

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Speaker 1: that well at all. Besides, we were on each other's podcast,

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Speaker 1: and then I officially met her in person at the

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Speaker 1: studio and then she told me about the song. So emotional.

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Speaker 1: Let's get her on.

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Speaker 3: Hi. How are you? I'm good? How are you?

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Speaker 1: Well? You know, just making moves.

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Speaker 2: Gretchen is actually you're actually the perfect You're the perfect

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Speaker 2: guest for a lot of reasons. But I think you're

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Speaker 2: the perfect guest because if they're anyone that exemplifies managing career,

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Speaker 2: managing career, managing career, managing family, managing men, managing family,

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Speaker 2: managing career again, and children.

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Speaker 3: It's you. Ah, that's sweet.

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Speaker 2: You're in the mix of it right now. This is

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Speaker 2: how this is our common thread right now. How does

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Speaker 2: one build a business, a career, be a good mom?

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Speaker 4: It is That is like the question of our lifetime,

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Speaker 4: right yeah, because I'm worn out from that every single

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Speaker 4: day of my life. I'm like, and sometimes I look

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Speaker 4: back and I literally think to myself, like, how did

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Speaker 4: I even do what I did? Like, I literally there's

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Speaker 4: so many days I'm like, I don't even know how

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Speaker 4: to manage it all some days, you know. But somehow,

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Speaker 4: us women we're just like warriors.

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Speaker 3: We get it done.

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Speaker 1: We do with the flu too, and sickness, That's what

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Speaker 1: we're saying. Like so many times, it's like us women

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Speaker 1: like we you know, we got to wait to keep going. Yep,

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Speaker 1: can't stop, you know, Nope. It's like when a guy says,

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Speaker 1: we'll just rest cute, Yeah, precious, cute, win, pression win.

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Speaker 3: You got time for that, because I sure don't.

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Speaker 1: Gretchen, what you know, I've heard the rumors you're not

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Speaker 1: coming back to the show. Is that correct.

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Speaker 3: I've heard the rumors. I love it.

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Speaker 4: What rumors have you heard? Because you know, people are

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Speaker 4: always full of honky boloney.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean I've heard a few, but I love you,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like I've really that's the thing. It's like, people,

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Speaker 1: I've heard a million rumors about myself.

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Speaker 2: I've heard rumors about all of you. Yeah, anybody hearing

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Speaker 2: anything about me?

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Speaker 3: Now? Okay, every week there's something being said.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the mental load of Yeah, the show

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Speaker 1: and the people that come in, you know, for example,

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Speaker 1: one of the people that you had tough times with,

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Speaker 1: you know, has a specific opinion about you and then

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Speaker 1: tells the world that and then you know, so even

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Speaker 1: when we released our song, people said, why would you,

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Speaker 1: you know, do a song with and I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: wish she's lovely. I don't watch the show. I don't

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Speaker 1: know the drama like that was my response back, because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, and that's not her, Like she has a

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Speaker 1: very loving heart. So it was hard because I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's not who you are. But yet you'll portrayed as

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Speaker 1: someone that was not in a loving way, and that

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Speaker 1: like made me mad as a you.

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Speaker 4: Know, yeah, it's thank you for saying that. You know,

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Speaker 4: it's funny, because that was the hardest part with like

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Speaker 4: my friends and family that ever saw me on the show,

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Speaker 4: even before, and when they came back and asked me

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Speaker 4: to do it again, they were all saying, like, really, like,

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Speaker 4: don't go back to that, because they show you in

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Speaker 4: a way that we don't know you to be. And

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Speaker 4: that's the part that's hard about reality TV, is like

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Speaker 4: you don't have control over the way they're going to

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Speaker 4: edit it and what they're gonna, you know, ultimately show

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Speaker 4: And you know, all I can say to that is

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Speaker 4: that I hope that the true essence of who I

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Speaker 4: am comes out in some way and that you know,

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Speaker 4: people that do know me know the truth. And it's

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Speaker 4: really it is difficult when you're on a show with

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Speaker 4: certain people that always want to try to make you

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Speaker 4: look a certain way or make up lies about you

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Speaker 4: or fabricate things, and you know, all you have to

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Speaker 4: do is sit there and defend yourself and hope that

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Speaker 4: people don't believe the lies that they're putting out there.

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Speaker 4: So that part of the show is very difficult and

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Speaker 4: I never enjoyed that part of it, and I think

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Speaker 4: I went back into it thinking, oh, it'll be different

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Speaker 4: this round, but it's not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's a toxic relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is exactly. It really is.

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Speaker 4: Like you always go in thinking, oh, be different, or

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Speaker 4: that person has changed, or you hope for the best,

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Speaker 4: and then it just never you know, there's so many

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Speaker 4: factors that play into what ultimately happens. You know, production,

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Speaker 4: you have a network, you have so many people involved

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Speaker 4: in the decisions and listen, at the end of the day,

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Speaker 4: they need to have ratings and sometimes you're the sacrificial

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Speaker 4: lamb for those ratings, and they don't necessarily care how

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Speaker 4: it affects you in your personal life, for how it

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Speaker 4: bleeds into your personal life. And for me, it was

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Speaker 4: mentally very difficult on me. And you know, I'm a

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Speaker 4: person that hates when people have a perception about me

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Speaker 4: that's not true and then you can't change it because

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Speaker 4: of the way they're putting it out there.

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Speaker 3: So that's hard for sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh it's so hard, Gretchen the person.

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Speaker 2: So like there's I always hate this too because I

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Speaker 2: feel like reality TV does this, like it should be

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Speaker 2: our reality of you should be reality, but it's not

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Speaker 2: right because it's just all edited. It's you're playing a

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Speaker 2: character in whatever they have come up with and they'll

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Speaker 2: edit you to be that way. We just know that

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Speaker 2: to be true. That's reality non reality TV. The Gretchen

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Speaker 2: the person. What does Gretchen, the person, actual Gretchen to

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Speaker 2: do when the world feels overwhelming, it feels noisy, and

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Speaker 2: you feel misunderstood in this because it does get really loud,

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Speaker 2: Like we my short stent, Reality TV was before there

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Speaker 2: was actually social media because like, I'm a dinosaur, right,

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Speaker 2: so I didn't have to deal with the opinions and

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Speaker 2: the comments and the and the constant like information being

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Speaker 2: fed to mediaalty that just love to spind it. And

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Speaker 2: the popularity of your show is a whole another element, right,

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Speaker 2: Like you're an oo g and this is like the

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Speaker 2: first people behind the curtain.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's huge.

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Speaker 2: So what do you do to regulate yourself as like

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Speaker 2: a person and a mom and a partner when the

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Speaker 2: world gets that noisy?

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Speaker 4: Well, first and foremost, you know, I know that my

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Speaker 4: identity is in Christ and that's that's it for me,

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Speaker 4: like plain and simple. So no matter what the world

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Speaker 4: thinks of me or says of me, or you know,

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Speaker 4: what people, the falsities that are put out there. I

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Speaker 4: just go back to that core of my you know,

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Speaker 4: beliefs and where I sit in that, and I'm so

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Speaker 4: grateful for that, because if it wasn't for my faith,

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Speaker 4: I don't know if I could survive after this. And

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Speaker 4: you know, as cliche or cheesy as that can sound,

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Speaker 4: it really is my truth. And you know, I just

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Speaker 4: I just sit with him and I just know that

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Speaker 4: that is what's going to be my anchor through all

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Speaker 4: of it. And thankfully I have just an incredible partner

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Speaker 4: and Slade. I have an incredible, you know, group of

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Speaker 4: friends that are nothing like some of those women on

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Speaker 4: the show. And then I obviously have my family that

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Speaker 4: just keeps me really grounded, and I'm so blessed to

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Speaker 4: have them as well. So I think it really just

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Speaker 4: you have to have a really strong group of people

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Speaker 4: around you to navigate that you know well and get

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Speaker 4: through it with your mental health still intact. Honestly, there's

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Speaker 4: some people that don't care like for me, I you know,

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Speaker 4: I do care about the way that I'm perceived. There's

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Speaker 4: some people on reality TV that don't give to creuds

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Speaker 4: about it, and good for them. I mean, they make

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Speaker 4: good reality TV people because they really don't care, like

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Speaker 4: how they look, what people think or whatnot.

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Speaker 1: And I couldn't do it now.

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Speaker 2: I think there's a level of integrity you have, and

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Speaker 2: that's why it doesn't feel good to you to be

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Speaker 2: that misunderstood or to like sell out, you know.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I would say that's probably very true.

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Speaker 4: I definitely am on that scale more than some people

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Speaker 4: that I've encountered real TV. And unfortunately, some people just

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Speaker 4: they are there to make it as salacious and over

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Speaker 4: the top and they don't care how they're affecting your family,

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Speaker 4: or your business, or your relationship or you know, just

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Speaker 4: anything in your life or your relationship with your children,

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Speaker 4: I mean just all the stuff. So yeah, I don't

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Speaker 4: I don't like that's not how I like to conduct

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Speaker 4: myself in my day to day life with my friends,

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Speaker 4: my family, and so going on that.

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Speaker 3: Show, I always think I'm going to be like, Okay.

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Speaker 4: They're gonna they're gonna show like who I really am

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Speaker 4: in my real life.

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Speaker 3: But when you're put in an environment with.

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Speaker 4: Women that aren't like that, it's like it just it

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Speaker 4: causes that conflict. And I'm not a wallflager either, So

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Speaker 4: I'm going to stand up for myself. But it's just

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Speaker 4: it's a it's an interesting environment to say the least.

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Speaker 2: They know what they're doing though, it's really I mean,

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Speaker 2: to their credit, they know what they're doing because they

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Speaker 2: know you're not a wallflower. They know you'll stick up

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Speaker 2: for yourself. So that's part of the whole stirring the

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Speaker 2: pot and the way they do the things that they do.

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Speaker 4: Yep, for sure, because because in real life, like if

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Speaker 4: I had, you know, certain women around me that were

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Speaker 4: treating me that way or talking about me that way

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Speaker 4: or making up falsities and be like, okay, bye, right,

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Speaker 4: You're not in my you know, circle of friends anymore. So,

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Speaker 4: but you can't really do that when you're on a show.

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Speaker 1: I got to hear the backstory, which I did not know,

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Speaker 1: so I got a I believe it was a text

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Speaker 1: first from your husband telling me about this song, and

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Speaker 1: then Brian Todd is a producer. He then followed up

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Speaker 1: with that and then we spoke. But I didn't get

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Speaker 1: to know the back story of this song that you wrote.

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Speaker 1: Can you share with our listeners the story behind Nothing

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Speaker 1: Without You?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: So the song Nothing Without You was actually written after

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Speaker 4: my late fiance passed away from cancer. Unfortunately, he had

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Speaker 4: a cute leukemia, and he had a very long and

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Speaker 4: hard fight. I mean, you know, for having a cute leukemia.

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Speaker 4: He fought it for close to nine months and I

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Speaker 4: was his full time caretaker, and you know, it was

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Speaker 4: probably one of the more difficult things I've ever gone

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Speaker 4: through my life. I think it was thirty one at

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Speaker 4: the time, and you know, every day was in the

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Speaker 4: hospital and doctor's appointments and doing all the stuff. And

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Speaker 4: then after I lost him, I just I was in,

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Speaker 4: you know, obviously a state of depression and went through

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Speaker 4: a lot and I and a lot of how I

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Speaker 4: expressed my emotions is through writing, and I've never really

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Speaker 4: shared it before that I you know, written songs throughout

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Speaker 4: my life. But I wrote this song when he had passed,

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Speaker 4: called Nothing Without You, and it really is just a

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Speaker 4: testament to you know, at that time, I felt like

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Speaker 4: I was nothing without him. And what I quickly realized

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Speaker 4: after I released the song is how many people related

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Speaker 4: to that and it didn't necessarily have to be just

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Speaker 4: about you know, their significant other. It could be about

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Speaker 4: nothing without you, meaning without God. It could be nothing

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Speaker 4: without you referencing their child, it could be nothing without you.

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Speaker 4: Whatever it is that you know touched their lives or

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Speaker 4: their hearts. So it was it was just a testament

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Speaker 4: to him and how I felt about him in my life.

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Speaker 4: And it's been really cool to see so many people

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Speaker 4: respond to those lyrics.

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Speaker 2: So when you released it seventeen years ago, right, and

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Speaker 2: then or wrote it? Did you write it and release it? Yes,

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Speaker 2: it was a little bit more than that. I want

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Speaker 2: to say now, gosh, because so I don't.

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Speaker 4: I have been together seventeen years, so probably, yeah, eighteen

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Speaker 4: years ago roughly is when is when it came out?

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Speaker 4: And then would you ask I'm sorry, love.

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Speaker 1: Well, I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I didn't ask yet, but I did want to know

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Speaker 2: because I wondered, like you know, you said it took

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Speaker 2: on different meaning for people, and you've heard that, and

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Speaker 2: that's really I think that that's like the beauty of music.

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Speaker 2: I'm married to a songwriter singer, best friends of a

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Speaker 2: songwriter singer, right, and that's the power. Well, aren't we

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Speaker 2: all something once upon a time? But that's the power

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Speaker 2: of like music and the way that it can hit

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Speaker 2: people and in the way that when it's lyrically rich

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Speaker 2: like that it can land in all seasons of life.

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Speaker 2: So does it for you personally? Does it land somewhere

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Speaker 2: different when it's re released seventeen years later? Does it

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Speaker 2: feel and what are the emotions that go with it?

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Speaker 2: Because now you're a mom and now you have this

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Speaker 2: partner that you've been with for so long, right, So yes.

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Speaker 4: I mean this song is definitely the lyrics of it

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Speaker 4: has been transferable, if you will, to now different aspects

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Speaker 4: of my life. You know, I feel like nothing without

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Speaker 4: my daughter. I can't imagine my life without Skyler Gray.

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Speaker 4: And the same with Slade. I mean, I feel that

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Speaker 4: every day with him. You know, I'm feel so blessed

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Speaker 4: that I have such a great partnership with him. We've

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Speaker 4: been together seventeen years and there's definitely days that I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I feel like I'm nothing without him. So it is

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Speaker 4: really cool to see how that has the lyrics have

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Speaker 4: continued on and have bled into the other parts of

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Speaker 4: my life. The same with my relationship with my heavenly father.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I'm nothing without him. As we spoke

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Speaker 4: you know, just a few minutes.

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Speaker 1: Ago about Yeah, that was what I when I first

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Speaker 1: listened to it. That's who I thought of, Like that

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Speaker 1: was my first because I'm not like in those moments

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like where are you? I cannot hear you? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I think it's.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so true.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I and I think that that was what

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Speaker 4: was so great about, you know, thinking about Janna writing

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Speaker 4: this or not writing the song. Singing this song was

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Speaker 4: when we were thinking about who we wanted to re

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Speaker 4: release the song with. I wanted it to be somebody

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Speaker 4: that you know, had that spiritual connection to it and

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Speaker 4: you know, somebody that well, First of all, Janna has

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Speaker 4: an incredible voice, so that was just great, you know,

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Speaker 4: so that was like a given for me. But I

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Speaker 4: really just wanted it to come back alive in a

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Speaker 4: different way that still felt very authentic to what the

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Speaker 4: original version was, but could bleed into all the different

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Speaker 4: categories that I feel like people can relate to these

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Speaker 4: lyrics with.

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Speaker 1: Thanks girl, well, I appreciate you bringing it to me.

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Speaker 1: It's a beautiful song. It was was honored to be

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Speaker 1: a part of it, and it was great again just

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Speaker 1: to get to know you in your heart and then

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Speaker 1: you know, see your relationship because you guys are so

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Speaker 1: cute together. He loves you so much. I mean he's

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Speaker 1: just like he just comes in and just yeah. I

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Speaker 1: mean you can just tell how much he loves you.

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Speaker 1: But there's got to be something that drives you crazy

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Speaker 1: after seventeen years that you so what what is one

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Speaker 1: of the things that you're like? And this has tested

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Speaker 1: our marriage in a way, maybe one heavy in one light.

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Speaker 2: But are we married?

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Speaker 3: That's so funny.

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Speaker 4: So yes, I mean technically we are married because we

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Speaker 4: went and got married with an ordained pastor at the

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Speaker 4: end of the beginning. She was confusing because it was

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Speaker 4: the end of twenty twenty one, the very first day

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Speaker 4: of twenty twenty two, so it was New Year's Eve.

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Speaker 4: So I'm like, do we get married in twenty twenty

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Speaker 4: one or twenty twenty two?

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Speaker 1: A time with my babies in November?

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Speaker 2: Because I'm like, well year, right, So we did do that.

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Speaker 4: And then so we've we've been together a total of

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Speaker 4: seventeen years and so let's see, okay, So something light

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Speaker 4: is that his chewing makes me go long.

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Speaker 2: Same same, same.

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Speaker 3: Like legit, I'm like, I'm going to divorce.

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Speaker 2: You from this, like sell any thoughts. I'm like, please

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Speaker 2: stop to get a straw, find a drink. I can't.

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Speaker 1: I can't do it.

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Speaker 4: There's some times where I actually have to stand up

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Speaker 4: and exit the room because.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're a good Christian woman.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my gosh, I'm gonna throw my plate of

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Speaker 4: you right now. Like I do not know what it

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Speaker 4: is about the tweet, But you know what's really funny,

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Speaker 4: All these articles started popping up on Instagram that say

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Speaker 4: that if you're annoyed with somebody that like choose, it

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Speaker 4: means you have a high IQ.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, okay, good.

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Speaker 2: Okay, great, So we're really smart people.

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Speaker 3: We're really smart.

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Speaker 1: That's is it? Is it that he doesn't chew with

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Speaker 1: his mouth closed or is it.

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Speaker 4: It's just really loud and even when I when he

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Speaker 4: choose with his mouth, it's.

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Speaker 2: An echo chamber. Yeah, I think some people just have it.

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Speaker 2: And then are you like a highly sensitive person because

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Speaker 2: that merging together? Yeah, same, it's a debacle.

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Speaker 3: Like it's like.

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Speaker 4: Literally like really loud noises or like too much stimulation.

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Speaker 4: I have to like go in my room and close

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Speaker 4: the door and like have like a have a fifteen

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Speaker 4: minute wind down.

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Speaker 2: So he couldn't have we couldn't have made that up

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Speaker 2: if we wanted to.

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Speaker 3: It's magic in there, but yeah, I really do, I

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Speaker 3: have to.

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Speaker 4: I get very overstimulated if there's too many things going

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Speaker 4: on once or if there's like too many noises.

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Speaker 2: And then he pours a big bull of cereal and

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Speaker 2: then it's just horrendous.

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Speaker 3: It's just like.

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Speaker 2: And it's tricky because you have to chew because you

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Speaker 2: have to stay alive and we know that, but still

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Speaker 2: exactly censory wise, Okay, then give us one juicy one.

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Speaker 4: Oh gosh, I'm trying to think, like, see, the thing is,

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Speaker 4: are y'all y'all's communication good and like y'all you know

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Speaker 4: through the years, yea. The problem is, like you know,

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Speaker 4: people was like what are like, you know, like a

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Speaker 4: big thing, and like the problem is is that I

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Speaker 4: am so blessed to have such a great relationship where

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Speaker 4: if we do have an issue, like we we work

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Speaker 4: through it, we communicate really well, and then.

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Speaker 3: It's almost like I forget about it.

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Speaker 4: So when like people ask, I'm just like, oh, I

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Speaker 4: have to like really think of something.

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Speaker 1: Less like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great, it's so great.

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Speaker 4: But like then I feel bad as people are like, oh, sure,

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Speaker 4: your relationships great and I'm like, no, it's not that

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Speaker 4: it's great all the time. It's just that we really

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Speaker 4: do love and respect each other so much that it

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Speaker 4: just it just flows.

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Speaker 3: It's just really easy.

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Speaker 4: And I mean I'm trying to think, I don't know, like.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to have anything wrong. I like that

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Speaker 2: you chat it out. Actually I do do.

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Speaker 1: It's one of those things too when we go to

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Speaker 1: couples therapy. He'll be like, you know, lately, yeah, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't actually remember what was the argument about, because

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Speaker 1: you forget because you deal with it and then it's like, okay, yeah,

384
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Speaker 1: we figured it out.

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Speaker 2: I think this is actually like healthy ladies what we're

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Speaker 2: talking about.

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Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, And I mean, like I said, I mean, listen,

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Speaker 4: we have all the same issues everybody does. Like there's

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Speaker 4: days that I'm just frustrated because he's not, you know,

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Speaker 4: doing stuff around the house that I asked him to do,

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Speaker 4: or you know, as everybody in life, you know, there

392
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Speaker 4: might be a financial thing that you're struggling with. There

393
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Speaker 4: could be you know, just fighting our frustration over you know,

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Speaker 4: how he's dealing with Skuyler and I don't agree with

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Speaker 4: the way he's doing it. I mean There's definitely things

396
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Speaker 4: that we struggle with, but overall, I feel like we

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Speaker 4: just really our number one rule with each other is

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Speaker 4: that we put each other's needs first. And when you

399
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Speaker 4: do that in a relationship, you're always going to everything

400
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Speaker 4: else is just going to kind of work out because

401
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,479
Speaker 4: the love and the respect and the loyalty and the

402
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Speaker 4: trust and the communication all comes because you're choosing to

403
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Speaker 4: put your partner's needs even before your own. And when

404
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Speaker 4: you do that, everything else kind of just falls into place.

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Speaker 4: So we're grateful that we have kind of that role

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Speaker 4: in our relationship.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, I recently just saw that when

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Speaker 1: I said your first thought should be how can I

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Speaker 1: show up from a husband today? And same for the husband,

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Speaker 1: how can I show up for my wife? And it

411
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Speaker 1: puts you in this really grateful place of just being

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Speaker 1: grateful for the person, and whether it's just a text

413
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Speaker 1: being like hey, I love you, thinking about you, something

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Speaker 1: to show up for them is in being thought of

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Speaker 1: as great. I have two faith questions, Yeah, One is

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Speaker 1: how was your faith tested with the loss of your fiance,

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Speaker 1: Because I, of course I've lost grandparents, right, and they've lived,

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Speaker 1: they lived long, beautiful lives and I've lost you know,

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Speaker 1: and I know Chris, and you're a little bit different

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Speaker 1: in this situation, so I want to also be mindful

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Speaker 1: and aware of that. You know, I've lost some friends,

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Speaker 1: but nobody that's like my core tight at the wrong age. Thankfully,

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Speaker 1: my children have been healthy, but those are one of

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Speaker 1: the things when I hear about people that have lost

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Speaker 1: children or you know, loved ones that too soon, it's

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Speaker 1: to me, that's where my faith I'm like, why, why

427
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Speaker 1: why is the murderer still alive and healthy without any cancer? Well,

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Speaker 1: why why did this sweet soul get taken? So I'm

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Speaker 1: just curious, was your faith tested in how you walk

430
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Speaker 1: through that?

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Speaker 4: Yes, unfortunately, we've had two very big glasses in our lives.

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Speaker 4: I had Jeff when I lost him to leukemia, and

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Speaker 4: then Slade lost his son three years ago to cancer

434
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Speaker 4: as well. So yeah, I mean, those are those are

435
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Speaker 4: definitely periods of you know, why Lord, and you can't

436
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 4: make sense of it, and you you know, you just

437
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 4: sit in an unbearable pain and you just you can't

438
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 4: seem to to figure out how you're going to keep

439
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 4: moving forward despite you know, losing these people.

440
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 3: But I think that that is what is.

441
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 4: So important about faith is that even in the really

442
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 4: hard times, you have to stay in faith. You have

443
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:37,160
Speaker 4: to believe that He's still meaning everything good and positive

444
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 4: for your life. And even though you cannot see it

445
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 4: during that time and you can't understand it during that time,

446
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,679
Speaker 4: you have to be for me. I just have to

447
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 4: be in the Word and listen to his promises and

448
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 4: listen to what it is that he tells us. That

449
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 4: you know what's going to come out of that, and

450
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 4: there's always a lesson. There's always something good that comes

451
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 4: out of and the bad stuff. And so for me,

452
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 4: I call it like the waiting room. And that's just

453
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 4: the really hard part. And that's life in general. There's

454
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 4: there's going to be times that you're in the waiting

455
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 4: room and it is crud I mean, it's just so crappy.

456
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 4: It's not a place you want to be in. But

457
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 4: you have to just remain strong and you have to

458
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 4: just sit in the Word and you have to sit

459
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,679
Speaker 4: with Him and you And here's the thing. This is

460
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 4: the thing that I think a lot of people don't

461
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 4: realize is that you know, thankfully we can have a

462
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 4: personal relationship with God now where you can just talk

463
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 4: to him as if he's your friend. And it's like,

464
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 4: I can't tell you how many days I would wake

465
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 4: up and I would be angry with him and I

466
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,160
Speaker 4: would tell him that and I would you know, be frustrated.

467
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 4: But it's it's really going through those emotions, just like

468
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,880
Speaker 4: just like what we were talking about with our partners.

469
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 4: You know, you might be pissed off, you might be

470
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,680
Speaker 4: angry about something they did, but it's like you have

471
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 4: to stay in community and communication with them and really

472
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 4: work on that relationship to help get through whatever it

473
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,360
Speaker 4: is you're going through. And I apply that same thing

474
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 4: to my relationship with God, and.

475
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 3: He does always see me through it.

476
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 4: He takes me through those you know, valleys, and he

477
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 4: takes me through the darkness and I come out the

478
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 4: other side and I'm stronger and I learn things and

479
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 4: I'm more resilient, and you know, and I don't think,

480
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 4: I think will never really truly understand why some people

481
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,560
Speaker 4: are taken, you know, early or sooner than what we

482
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 4: believe is their time. We won't know that until we

483
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 4: arrive in heaven one day. But I do think that

484
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 4: through it all, there is a lesson.

485
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 3: To be learned.

486
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, very beautifully said. I have to ask too,

487
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: because one of the people that I had spoke to was,

488
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: you know, an enemy. Do we pray for the enemies?

489
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: Because you know in Matthew five four four we talk about,

490
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 1: you know, praying for enemies. Are we praying for Tamra?

491
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: Should we have a moment of silence and pray for

492
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 2: her now?

493
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 4: Right?

494
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 1: Because it's interesting. I will say even before I say this,

495
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: I remember when I was going through something with an ex.

496
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: I was so angry and I was so mad at them,

497
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: first saying, you know, a bunch of lies and amy.

498
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: My therapist was like our therapist. She was like, pray

499
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: for him. And I'm like, I don't know why pray

500
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 1: for him? Are you kidding me?

501
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 4: I was so angry.

502
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: She goes, it will soften your heart for them, pray

503
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: for like, just pray for him. Try it. And I

504
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 1: prayed for him ever since. You know what I mean,

505
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: I really don't anymore because yeah, but it was actually

506
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: so incredibly helpful and I took away my own personal hate.

507
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 1: I guess even that. I don't like saying I ever

508
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: hated anyone him. I did, and that really helped.

509
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 4: Yes, you know what it really is such a great

510
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 4: piece of advice because it really does soften your heart.

511
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 4: And we are instructed to pray for our enemies.

512
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 3: But I do think a lot of people get.

513
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 4: Confused the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. And you know,

514
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 4: the Bible is clear on that that, you know, we

515
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 4: are to forgive because He forgave us first, But that

516
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 4: doesn't necessarily mean that we have to reconcile with the

517
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 4: people that continue to cause harm or do things that

518
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:30,880
Speaker 4: hurt us.

519
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 3: Amen, And I think it's.

520
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 4: Important that we continue to pray for them in the

521
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 4: in the sense that you know, because some people think

522
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,159
Speaker 4: of that as like connestanting, like, oh, we're praying for

523
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 4: them because there's such this or whatever your perception is

524
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 4: of that person, and no, it's really more for us.

525
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 3: It's like it's like the saying.

526
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 4: Of you know, it's like drinking poison expecting the other

527
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 4: person to die. It's like, it's more for us to

528
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 4: relinquish whatever it is that has caused harm and pain

529
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,879
Speaker 4: to our lives, and it's about praying for that forgiveness

530
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 4: and praying to release whatever that is that you know,

531
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,919
Speaker 4: struggle with with that person, and then wishing them well,

532
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 4: so that you can move on with your life and.

533
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 3: You don't have to like, you know, hold on to that.

534
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,479
Speaker 4: That doesn't mean like for instance, on the show, like

535
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 4: you know, I was confronted with her, and there was

536
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 4: a lot of things that were that were done and

537
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 4: that were very hurtful and harmful to my family.

538
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 3: And the only way.

539
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 4: That I could move forward with her was if we

540
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 4: addressed those things. And I felt like there was some

541
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 4: accountability and responsibility along with some of those things, and

542
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 4: so that is why those things were addressed. It wasn't

543
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,400
Speaker 4: because I was, you know, as she liked to say,

544
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 4: you know, just living in the past and holding on

545
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 4: these things. No, I actually really was trying to get

546
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,959
Speaker 4: to a place where we could move forward. But I

547
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 4: wasn't going to be fake about it. And I wasn't

548
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 4: going to come in and be like, oh, okay, everything's good,

549
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 4: it was cool, all the stuff that went down, Let's

550
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 4: be best friends now, Like it's just not how I operate.

551
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:53,640
Speaker 3: And being that.

552
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 4: It's a reality show, you're supposed to, you know, be

553
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 4: authentic to who you are, and that's exactly what I did.

554
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 4: And you know, whether that resonates or not with the audience.

555
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 4: I you know, that's I don't care. I have to

556
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 4: be exactly who I am, you know. So, but I

557
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 4: do think it's good advice because I think that we

558
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 4: have to we do have to let go of those

559
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 4: things so that we can move forward in our own lives.

560
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, agreed. What are we doing now? What's on that?

561
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: Are we writing new songs? Are we what are we doing?

562
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 2: Do we want to write new songs? Do you want

563
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 2: to go to Nashville have a well we retreat?

564
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 3: Right? Oh my god?

565
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 1: What is kind of the next chapter for Gretchen?

566
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 4: You know? The next chapter for me has been I've

567
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,600
Speaker 4: always just loved empowering other women and lifting them up

568
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,919
Speaker 4: and helping them, you know, build their dreams and their businesses,

569
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 4: you know, and part of an incredible beauty and wellness

570
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 4: company that that has incredible products but also offers opportunities

571
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 4: to women. We're calling it the Ageless Movement. So it's

572
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 4: really exciting. I have so many incredible women joining the

573
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 4: Ageless Movement and being a part of looking and filling

574
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,960
Speaker 4: their best but also providing financially for the families with it.

575
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 4: So that's been kind of my next exciting venture of

576
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 4: what I'm doing and again just I love being an entrepreneur,

577
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 4: I love working, I love being an example to my daughter.

578
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 4: And the more that I can, you know, help other

579
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 4: women within the space of whatever it is that they're

580
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 4: trying to create, that's really kind of the next evolution

581
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 4: of what I'm excited to do.

582
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 1: I love it and everyone. In the meantime, go listen

583
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: to Nothing Without You by me and Gretchen. It's out now,

584
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: go stream, go roll the windows down, have a good

585
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: cry too. Yeah exactly. Gretchen, thank you so much for

586
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: coming on.

587
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 4: Yes, love, Thanks, I appreciate you.

588
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: You.

589
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: We'll see you soon. Come come visit us in Nashville.

590
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: I love It's your treat. Okay, bye, girl, I have

591
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: to day