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Speaker 1: Hey, this is aam.

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Speaker 2: This is John, your og Okay story Time podcast host,

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Speaker 2: and we got.

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Speaker 1: Some delicious, juicy stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 3: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 3: word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 4: My father's girlfriend tried to order me to bed. I'm

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Speaker 4: already an adult.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like you need to be knocked out.

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Speaker 4: For context, I twenty one female, have four siblings, twenty

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Speaker 4: six male, twenty three male, twelve female, and ten mail.

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Speaker 4: Our uncle has been our legal guardian since our mom

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Speaker 4: passed and my dad has been out of our lives.

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Speaker 4: My twenty three year old brother and I are home

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Speaker 4: for the summer from college. My oldest brother lives in

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Speaker 4: the city. Since we've come home, my uncle's been away

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Speaker 4: on a work trip, so it's just been me and

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Speaker 4: my siblings around the house. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 4: from Charlie Zusk and if you want to spit your

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Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash Okay. Storytime suppered

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Speaker 4: it so further context, my dad used to be a

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Speaker 4: problem drinker and was basically strange for half of my life,

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Speaker 4: very limited contact and growing up, it's always been my

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Speaker 4: siblings and I taking care of each other. For the

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Speaker 4: past year or so, my dad has been wanting to

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Speaker 4: reconnect with us, mainly my younger siblings. He's been getting

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Speaker 4: better in his habits. He was cleaned for three years

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Speaker 4: and managed to keep his act together. Because of this,

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Speaker 4: we've allowed a couple of visits from time to time.

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Speaker 4: From four months ago, he started seeing someone new, quite

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Speaker 4: a bit younger than him, in her thirties, and she

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Speaker 4: seems to have this strange obsession with playing mom oh really,

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Speaker 4: which is like a weird dynamic because she's in her

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Speaker 4: thirties and Op's like twenty four. She visits way more

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Speaker 4: frequently than he does and seems to be under the

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Speaker 4: impression that she's Ernie step mom. I think it's kind

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Speaker 4: of weird, but we just let her do her things

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Speaker 4: since she's not harm in anyone. She does have this

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Speaker 4: patronizing way of addressing us. It's better with my oldest brothers,

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Speaker 4: but with me it's getting kind of ridiculous. Again. I

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Speaker 4: kind of just ignore it and go about my own business.

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Speaker 4: A few weeks before my brother and I came home,

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Speaker 4: she was helping my uncle pick up our younger siblings

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Speaker 4: from school and driving them home. Because of that, she

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Speaker 4: was given a house or a key to the house. Okay,

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Speaker 4: since then, she's around all the time and just playing

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Speaker 4: parent to my younger siblings, but not really doing much

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Speaker 4: because my older brothers and I take care of the responsibilities.

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Speaker 4: In short, the situation started when we had her and

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Speaker 4: my dad over for dinner. My brothers cooked a great

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Speaker 4: meal and it was all going good until my dad

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Speaker 4: ended up making a very insensitive and inappropriate joke during dinner,

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Speaker 4: and she cooperated that joke by making a really ugly

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Speaker 4: insinuation about our late mother.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you can't just say it was an ugly joke. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what was it? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Specify.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to know what was said.

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Speaker 4: Not gonna get into that.

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Speaker 1: Why not? Ope, then don't share it.

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Speaker 4: We saw them out and that was that. We put

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Speaker 4: the kids to bed and kind of talked about what

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Speaker 4: happened and informed our uncle about the situation. We were

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Speaker 4: all unsure of what to do. The next afternoon, both

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Speaker 4: my brothers were busy with work, and I picked up

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Speaker 4: the kids from school and got home to my dad's

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Speaker 4: girlfriend in our kitchen. This was the first time she'd

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Speaker 4: let herself in when nobody was home, and it caught

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Speaker 4: me kind of off guard. She had basically come to

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Speaker 4: apologize on my dad's behalf. She said that he felt

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Speaker 4: so ashamed he couldn't bear coming here. I mean she

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Speaker 4: I sent the kids to their rooms and explained the

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Speaker 4: situation to her. I also communicated to her that I

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Speaker 4: found her comment to be extremely inappropriate and in poor taste.

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Speaker 4: She started laughing it off, but I was clear with

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Speaker 4: her that we wouldn't tolerate anything like that again. And

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Speaker 4: then she said something like, Oh, it's so cute that

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Speaker 4: you're trying to be their mom slash their adult. I

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Speaker 4: kind of just blinked at her. The remainder of that conversation.

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Speaker 4: She had the same attitude, just not taking me seriously

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Speaker 4: and treating me patronizingly. Naturally, I got fed up and

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Speaker 4: got started on dinner. I don't know where she went

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Speaker 4: for the next while. I think she went into the

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Speaker 4: kids room to help them with homework, but she stuck

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Speaker 4: around for the rest of the night. Out of the

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Speaker 4: kindness of my heart, I cooked extra food for her,

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Speaker 4: even though she didn't ask for permission to stay and

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Speaker 4: lo and be old. She stayed for dinner. Later on

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Speaker 4: in the night, she was fawning over the kids again,

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Speaker 4: and around ten, in her stepmam manner, she was like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: my DearS, it's time for bed. My younger siblings were

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Speaker 4: in the living room watching TV. They're usually pretty disciplined

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Speaker 4: at going to bed themselves, so that kind of, you know,

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Speaker 4: adds to that. At this they looked over to me

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Speaker 4: gave me the look like what is this lady doing?

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Speaker 4: And I just shrugged and they went off to the

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Speaker 4: rooms because it was close to their usual bedtime anyway,

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Speaker 4: which yeah, I think that's also like maybe their bedtimes

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Speaker 4: ten thirty. And she's like, Okay, you're going to bed

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Speaker 4: at ten now, which weird. Now wait for this. I'm

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Speaker 4: in the kitchen cleaning up. Dad's girlfriend is on her

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Speaker 4: phone at the island. She looks at me and says,

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Speaker 4: you too on no, no, oh, he's twenty four.

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Speaker 1: Mengine, you're about to be twenty four. Imagine someone telling

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Speaker 1: you that.

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Speaker 4: I'd be like my parents still do that. They're like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: off to bed. I'm like, I don't, I'm an adult.

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Speaker 4: It crosses my mind that she could have been joking,

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Speaker 4: but I devise after a moment that this was not

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Speaker 4: a joke, and she was in fact sending me to bed,

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Speaker 4: so I naturally say what she says, it's getting late,

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Speaker 4: time for bad, and kind of tut set me. It's

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Speaker 4: a tut it's time for bad, you know.

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Speaker 3: Tut.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like a noise to remind you guys, I am, oh, oh,

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Speaker 4: he's twenty one years old. Sorry, not twenty four, I

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Speaker 4: think one of their brothers. I go to college and

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Speaker 4: I am working almost full time in the summer. I've been

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Speaker 4: taking care of my family since I was twelve. This

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Speaker 4: woman has been dating my strain father for barely half

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Speaker 4: a year, so I gave her the benefit of the

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Speaker 4: doubt that she clearly has some mental issues and is

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Speaker 4: a little crazy.

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Speaker 1: I tell her, but you know what that means though,

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Speaker 1: what we know why the dad has her room?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I tell her, I think it's time

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Speaker 4: that she went home. She is insistent that I go

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Speaker 4: on to bed, still acting like she's my mom. This

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Speaker 4: gets me a little ticked off. I explained to her

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Speaker 4: that I feel disrespected being talked to like that, and

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Speaker 4: that I'm an adult, and as an extension to our

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Speaker 4: previous conversation, I need her to take me seriously, because

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Speaker 4: I don't joke around about my family or my siblings,

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Speaker 4: and she's on thin ice. She continues to laugh me

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Speaker 4: off and goes on in this super patronizing tone. Again

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Speaker 4: she uses the phrase it's so cute when teenagers try

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Speaker 4: to act like adults. Throws in some stuff about me

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Speaker 4: having a hissy fit and being rebellious. At this point,

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Speaker 4: I'm just so fed up by everything. I simply say,

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Speaker 4: you have five minutes to get your things and leave

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Speaker 4: this house.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, hope.

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Speaker 4: He is not taking no for an answer.

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Speaker 1: There we go. She ain't taken none of that crowd.

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Speaker 4: Not taking your nonsense.

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Speaker 1: Here's a great question. Where's the dad?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. He seems kind of like not

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Speaker 4: really involved. Well, it seems like he wasn't involved. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we know that he wasn't involved kind of throughout their life,

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Speaker 4: and it doesn't seem like he's an active participant now

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Speaker 4: and responds. She scoffs and gets up and walks off

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Speaker 4: to the bathroom, And on the way I heard her

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Speaker 4: say something along the lines of no one or anatole

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Speaker 4: dad sets you're a frigid little pres When she's in

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Speaker 4: the bathroom, I go over to her handbag and her

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Speaker 4: keys on the couch. She has a gigantic keyring and

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Speaker 4: a ton of keys, so she so, knowing she won't notice,

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Speaker 4: I removed our house key from the ring.

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Speaker 1: Oops.

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Speaker 4: God, take things into your own ants. Then I go

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Speaker 4: back to my room. I hear her leaving, maybe twenty

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Speaker 4: minus minutes later. The next day, I get a bunch

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Speaker 4: of text from her, panicking about the key. I told

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Speaker 4: her I took it. She said some stuff, called me

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Speaker 4: a brat, saying she was going to tell my uncle

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Speaker 4: and brothers and I was being childish. I told her

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Speaker 4: I was at work and if she wanted to talk,

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Speaker 4: she could call me at four. Otherwise she could go

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Speaker 4: bother my brothers about it. But they were at work too,

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Speaker 4: so good luck with it. She went off again with

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Speaker 4: a stat pretending to be an adult thing and said

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Speaker 4: that my younger so that my younger siblings were like

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Speaker 4: her kids and she needed to take care of them,

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Speaker 4: and this was unsafe. The last text I sent her

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Speaker 4: was this is the last I'll say this. You've been

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Speaker 4: disrespectful of me and my brothers since we met, and

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Speaker 4: dismissed my attempts to communicate with you. I'm no longer

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Speaker 4: investing energy into enduring your behavior. I'm going to be honest.

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Speaker 4: There is very little chance that you're going to get

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Speaker 4: that keyback. This is not helping those chances. Like I said,

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Speaker 4: four pm, you can call nice.

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Speaker 1: Psych checking times for hotels too, Yeah, four pm, yeah classic.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was just like three pm and then eleven

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Speaker 4: pm check it or something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: She yapped some more than blew up my brother's phones

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Speaker 4: and texted my uncle as well. I'm writing this as

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Speaker 4: this is occurring. I told my brother's a bit about

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Speaker 4: what happened when she came over, but they don't know

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Speaker 4: the full story. My uncle's also in the dark about this,

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Speaker 4: but I'll tell them what happened if I need to.

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Speaker 1: You better tell them quickly before someone yeahs the story and.

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Speaker 4: She's gonna change everything up. She's gonna say was so rude.

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Speaker 4: I was just trying to help. She kuted me. He

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Speaker 4: could be just like that. Look, I don't now that

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Speaker 4: in her heart she does truly care for my younger siblings.

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Speaker 4: I don't think she's a bad person or anything. Plus,

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Speaker 4: my uncle trusted her enough to give her entry into

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Speaker 4: his house. Gotta have a conversation with the uncle. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: he'll be like, uncle, why'd you do that? Why didn't

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Speaker 4: you talk to us about that? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Also, she's a little shell, a little crazy manes and

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Speaker 1: look crazy.

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Speaker 4: She just really pissed me off. Her whole stepmom act

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Speaker 4: is also really facetious to me. I'd have no problem

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Speaker 4: letting her help out around the house if she was

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Speaker 4: respectful and communicated that's what she wanted. Anyways, am I

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Speaker 4: the A hole? And there is a gentle update? Interesting,

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Speaker 4: that's what it says, not aggressive guys. Update guys is

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Speaker 4: on the way, But uh, what say you?

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Speaker 1: Riley people? I usually see a lot of younger people,

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Speaker 1: people that just have their family and not a lot

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Speaker 1: of friends around. It's whatever you're like twenty one, you're

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Speaker 1: now like understanding dynamics as an adult, so it's hard

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Speaker 1: to understand that you stand up for yourself, and the

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Speaker 1: mom's kind of like uh, and no one else really

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Speaker 1: knows what's happening to understand if you're the A hole

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Speaker 1: or not. So it's good to like, you know, bounces

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Speaker 1: off a reddit, So I see where she's coming from.

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Speaker 1: In that aspect. You're standing up for your brothers because one,

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Speaker 1: like you said, she's only been around for six months. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: who knows what's under those layers, because after three months

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Speaker 1: you actually kind of see a little glimpse of who

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Speaker 1: a person actually is.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you know, yeah, you know that she's not nice.

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Speaker 1: So you're not the a hole. I would keep standing

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Speaker 1: up for your brothers. Do you have any next steps

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Speaker 1: about what you would do?

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Speaker 4: I would I would talk to the uncle. I would

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Speaker 4: talk to the dad. Okay, I would say this is

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Speaker 4: I feel very disrespected. I feel like she's inserting herself

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Speaker 4: in a way that I don't feel comfortable with. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and just like really point out that she's, you know, stepping,

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Speaker 4: stepping across lines here and that's not okay, it really isn't,

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Speaker 4: but you know it is. Okay a gentle.

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Speaker 1: Update first, and okay, stories on history.

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Speaker 4: Yeah I had put this in the comments, but for

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Speaker 4: those who didn't see. After Dad's girlfriends freak out, my

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Speaker 4: uncle called me and said.

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Speaker 1: What's this?

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Speaker 4: She shays about your you stole her keys and punted

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Speaker 4: her out.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy.

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Speaker 4: And he was already laughing as he said this, because

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Speaker 4: he knows and trusts me, and he knows I'm a

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Speaker 4: levelheaded person. And I told him, yeah, she tried to

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Speaker 4: put me to bed and called me a priss and

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Speaker 4: that cracked him up. There is a little bit left

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Speaker 4: to this story, but do you have any final thoughts?

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Speaker 1: The biggest question to ask everyone is what age do

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Speaker 1: you not have a bed time anymore? Mine was when

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Speaker 1: I went to college, so like eighteen.

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Speaker 4: Yeah safe, yep.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, let's finish the story off. When I told my

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Speaker 4: brothers too, they were like, wow, I'm surprised she didn't

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Speaker 4: knock her out. They both knew she could be a

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Speaker 4: little weird, but never had she been like that. I

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Speaker 4: think it was because it was the first time she

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Speaker 4: and I were alone. She is not coming back to

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Speaker 4: the house, not picking up the kids again, only sees

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Speaker 4: the kids when they hang out with dad and oldest

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Speaker 4: brother is around. My uncle has full custody of kids.

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Speaker 4: They are safe. There is more nutty stuff going on

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Speaker 4: with her though. Will have another update prepared soon. It's

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Speaker 4: gonna be very interesting and that is the end of that.

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Speaker 1: I hope the dad finds someone around his age and

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Speaker 1: gets rid of this person. Yeah, uh ladder first.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, first gets rid of and then find someone his age.

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Speaker 4: Yeah that would be great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, A little bit more uh, elderly mother figurely Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And then and then she'll come into Op's room and

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Speaker 4: she'll be like, you gotta go to sleep down a piece.

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Speaker 1: Don't tell me to go to bed if you've never

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Speaker 1: baked me cookies.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, ok, yeah the second see, I can tell everyone

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Speaker 4: in the house to go to bed because it made

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Speaker 4: them all cookies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is true.

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Speaker 4: Pro stepmom probably hasn't done that.

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Speaker 1: My stepdaughter started pulling away from my husband. I refuse

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Speaker 1: to back them up pull her back. I mid thirties

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Speaker 1: have been married to my husband forties for about four years.

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Speaker 1: His daughter, Danny fifteen, lives with us most of the time.

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Speaker 1: I came into her life when she was about nine,

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Speaker 1: and we've always had a good relationship. She's a great kid, smart, funny,

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Speaker 1: a little dramatic sometimes, but generally kind and emotionally aware

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Speaker 1: of her age. By the way, this comes from Dizzy

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Speaker 1: Cow eighty five. And if you want to spit your

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Speaker 1: old stories, go to the your slash okay stories. I'm subber.

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Speaker 1: He was her safe person through a messy divorce and

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Speaker 1: always made sure she knew she was loved. Their bond

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Speaker 1: has always been more than best buds than the typical

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Speaker 1: strict parent think. Recently, Danny got in trouble at school

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Speaker 1: over some texts about another girl in her group chat

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Speaker 1: with her friends. Uh oh mouse, dumb teenage stuff. But

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Speaker 1: a few of the things Danny said about this particular

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Speaker 1: girl were pretty mean, not slurs or threats or anything

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Speaker 1: awful like that. A couple of personal jabs since she

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Speaker 1: did it, particularly like her ugh how got out. One

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Speaker 1: of the girls in the group chat had of falling

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Speaker 1: out with the others and screenshotted everything. She sent the

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Speaker 1: screenshots to the girl they'd been talking about, who brought

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Speaker 1: them to a teacher. The school ended up calling a

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Speaker 1: meeting with parents, including my husband. The school took it

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Speaker 1: seriously but handled it well in my opinion. Danny owned

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Speaker 1: up to what she said and apologized like a real

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Speaker 1: apology and unenforced one. The girl actually accepted it, which

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Speaker 1: I think says a lot. They are so mature in

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Speaker 1: this yah that's crazy. At home, though, things took a turn.

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Speaker 1: My husband reacted very differently than I expected. He didn't

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Speaker 1: yell or you lose his temper. Instead, he shut down emotionally.

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Speaker 1: He took her phone outside of school use grounded her

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Speaker 1: for two weeks and gave her extra chores, with the

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Speaker 1: big lecture about how being that girl, the mean one,

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Speaker 1: sticks with you, how people remember what you do, how

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Speaker 1: damage can't be undone. But what stood out wasn't the consequences,

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Speaker 1: it was how he did it. It was like switch flipped.

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Speaker 1: He became cold and formal. Every interaction with her was short,

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Speaker 1: distant and transactional. No softness, no patience, no sense of connection.

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Speaker 1: It was almost like he couldn't bring himself to look

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Speaker 1: at her the same way. And I'm reading Sophia's mind

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Speaker 1: right now. Yep, you want me to say it for

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Speaker 1: you say it, we'll see It is because something like

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Speaker 1: this happened to him in high school and he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want his daughter to be like that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely is a guy who has experienced bullying and

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Speaker 4: is really disappointed in this daughter.

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Speaker 1: And now two weeks later, that's exactly how she treats him. Polite, obedient,

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Speaker 1: but emotionally closed off. She answers questions, follows rule, says

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Speaker 1: thanks and okay, nothing else. This affection's gone. Her usual

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Speaker 1: dynamic is gone. Oh that's so sad with me. She's

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Speaker 1: still her usual self. She talks, she jokes, she decompresses,

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Speaker 1: runs up to give her a hug before I leave

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Speaker 1: in the morning, and my husband has noticed, Yes me,

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Speaker 1: if I talk to her helps smooth things over, explain

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Speaker 1: where he's coming from. I told him, I think she

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Speaker 1: already gets where he was coming from. But I also

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Speaker 1: think she felt hurt a bit, and she's not allowed

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Speaker 1: to feel that way. But and she's allowed to feel

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Speaker 1: that way. I said that you can't expect a kid

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Speaker 1: to act like nothing happened when their entire sense of

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Speaker 1: safety in relationship gets rattled like that. That kind of

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Speaker 1: shift in tone from being your safe person it's being

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Speaker 1: so harsh and cold does something to a kid who's

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Speaker 1: not used to it. He didn't take a while. He

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Speaker 1: said I was minimizing what she did and that if

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Speaker 1: anyone in the house deserved her feelings, it wasn't Danny.

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Speaker 1: I pushed back and said I wasn't going to push

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Speaker 1: her to pretend she's not feeling what she feels just

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Speaker 1: to make him more comfortable. That's when things escalated. Dude,

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Speaker 1: there's something in it, like he is stepping on some

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Speaker 1: stone y and he needs a clear shoe out.

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Speaker 4: The thing is, it's not like him giving her consequence

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Speaker 4: for actions is not the problem. It's that he was

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Speaker 4: so obviously deeply affected by it, as if she had

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Speaker 4: bullied him. And I feel like you have to maintain

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Speaker 4: a like some semblance of you know, distance from the

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Speaker 4: situation to act, like give consequences in an effective way.

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Speaker 4: You know, it's like he was so involved emotionally in

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Speaker 4: it that you know he can't he can't parent in

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Speaker 4: an effective way.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I agree, I agree. Yeah. He

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Speaker 1: said I was choosing her over him. I said I

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Speaker 1: wasn't choosing anyone. I just wasn't willing to pretend this

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Speaker 1: didn't change things. He said he was still trying to

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Speaker 1: keep her from turning into the kind of person who

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Speaker 1: destroys other people's self worth and walks away.

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Speaker 4: Buddy, buddy, he's not your bully.

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Speaker 1: He told me. If I going to be on the

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Speaker 1: same page with him as a parent, and maybe I

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Speaker 1: need space to figure out where I stood. So I left.

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Speaker 1: I'm at my sister's place right now, and she, of

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Speaker 1: course sides with him, says it's good he's not trying

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Speaker 1: to be the cool dad, that it's better to overreact

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Speaker 1: now than regret not doing enough later. I don't entirely disagree.

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Speaker 1: I just think there's a way to teach a kid

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Speaker 1: something serious without making them feel like they're suddenly a

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Speaker 1: stranger to you. So here I am. I didn't back

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Speaker 1: them up. I didn't back them up when he asked

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Speaker 1: me to. I told him the truth instead. I didn't

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Speaker 1: think that made me the bad guy. But now I'm

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Speaker 1: not so sure. I see where she's I see where

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Speaker 1: both sides are going on.

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Speaker 4: I mean, he doesn't want like bullying is a very

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Speaker 4: serious thing, like especially with like kids you have, Like

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Speaker 4: kids don't know where to draw the line. They get

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Speaker 4: kind of pushed forward by their friends and stuff. He's

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Speaker 4: going to like a little bit too far because he's

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Speaker 4: taken all the men.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think the consequences physically is good. But

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Speaker 1: on the emotional aspect to a messy divorce, that things. Dude,

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Speaker 1: who knows what this kid feels like with this divorce. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they probably feel like, ah, this divorce was made, it

396
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Speaker 1: was my fault, but he did everything in his palm

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Speaker 1: would be like, it's not your fault. That's just what happens.

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Speaker 4: But I think the solution here is I think the

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Speaker 4: parents need to need to like figure out some sort

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Speaker 4: of compromise, because this is silly. I mean, she should

401
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 4: be able to say, oh, this is why your daughter

402
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Speaker 4: is upset without him being like, oh you you you're

403
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Speaker 4: not on my side, blah blah. And he needs to

404
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Speaker 4: be able to go to his daughter and say like, hey,

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Speaker 4: I'm really like that's this conversation involved. If you just

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Speaker 4: went to his daughter and say, hey, I understand that

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Speaker 4: you know, you might have felt that I was being

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Speaker 4: pretty harsh. I had so and so experienced. Open up,

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Speaker 4: you know, connect with your daughter, say why you reacted

410
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Speaker 4: so strongly, and say like I really just don't want

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Speaker 4: you to turn out in that way. And I don't

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Speaker 4: think that you are that person, but I don't want

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Speaker 4: you to. You know, the more that you do these actions,

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Speaker 4: the more that you can fall down, you know, go

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Speaker 4: down here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, comments sounds like dad got bullied as a kid

417
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Speaker 1: and he has to have a vulnerable talk with his

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Speaker 1: daughter about the feelings her actions brought up in him,

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Speaker 1: then apologize that that trauma impacted how we dealt with this.

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Speaker 1: This is my first thought. My dad got triggered by

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Speaker 1: personal drama and suddenly his own kid became the enemy.

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Speaker 1: I talk and try to figure out what happened to

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Speaker 1: him at that age and get him to tell that

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Speaker 1: story to his daughter. Hopefully then she'll realize where his

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Speaker 1: behavior was coming from and get him to act actually

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Speaker 1: tell her that he loves her no matter what, and

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Speaker 1: that he will always love her, and that his behavior

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Speaker 1: was due to his own personal trauma and only peripherally

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Speaker 1: to do with her. She's at the perfect age to

430
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Speaker 1: realize parents or humans too, they make mistakes, have history

431
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 1: that goes back further than they do, etc. It could

432
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Speaker 1: actually drive this lesson home really well if done the

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Speaker 1: right way. We got an update. I think he could.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he's gonna be the bad guy, so

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Speaker 1: I feel like he can so bring it back around.

436
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: He just doesn't know how to handle his emotions. And

437
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: I feel like, as men, like in your head, you

438
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 1: have to make a place for your family emotionally, and

439
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: if you don't fix that, the turmoil will show like this.

440
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think he just needs to talk to his daughter.

441
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 4: I already said what that commenter said, but yeah, I

442
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 4: just have to have that that very honest and vulnerable conversation.

443
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. Update, It's been a bit since I last posted,

444
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 1: and a couple of things have changed, so I figured

445
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 1: I give an update. I've seen a lot of perspectives

446
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 1: that helps me think through how everyone seen a lot

447
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: of perspectives that helped me think through how everyone, my

448
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: husband and Danny, even myself, may have gotten tangled up

449
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 1: in our own emotions while trying to do what we

450
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: thought was right. So thank you. After I cooled off

451
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 1: and came back home, I told my husband we needed

452
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 1: to talk not just about Danny, but about how he

453
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: reacted the way he did. I think, deep down already

454
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 1: knew it wasn't about her behavior at school. He finally

455
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 1: opened up and admitted the whole thing hit a raw

456
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: nerve for him.

457
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 4: Oh wow, we're all surprised and shocked.

458
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 1: When he was Danny's age, he was on the receiving

459
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:18,119
Speaker 1: end of some pretty cruel bullying stuff that stuck with

460
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 1: him for years. He said. Seeing Danny even dabble and

461
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: that kind of behavior scared him. It wasn't about control.

462
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: It was about fear. Fear that she'd become someone who

463
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: could inflict the kind of pain he still carries. That

464
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: fear made him pull back from her instead of leaning in.

465
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: It came out, and it came out in this cold,

466
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 1: distant way that hurt them both. I encouraged him to

467
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 1: talk to Danny about it, not to justify what happened,

468
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: but to explain and take accountability, and he did. It

469
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: wasn't some big emotional movie moment, but it was honest.

470
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: He told her about what he went through, that shame

471
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: he felt that he you let this fear come between them,

472
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: and that he told her behavior reminded him of people

473
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,719
Speaker 1: who had hurt him, and but that didn't mean she

474
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 1: was like them.

475
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 4: She's exactly what I said to say.

476
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: Good job, they took your advice. They watched the show,

477
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: Thank goodness that actually updated this like two.

478
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 4: Minutes, and they're live. They're watching it live. They're like, oh,

479
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 4: that's a good idea. Okay, we just had the conversation.

480
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 4: It lasted thirty seconds.

481
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 1: She listened to the whole thing, really listened, and she

482
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: surprised both of us. She didn't get teary or run

483
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: to his arms or anything. But she did say that

484
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: she got it, that she'd actually been thinking a lot

485
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 1: about why what she said mattered, and that the only

486
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 1: reason she could reflect on it properly was because she

487
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: didn't shut down emotionally. Afterwards, she says she felt like

488
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 1: she lost them for a while, and now that she

489
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,840
Speaker 1: knows why, she's been trying to meet him halfway. But

490
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 1: she's still cautious. She's being respectful, warmish, but not back

491
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: to her old dynamic, not yet, maybe not ever in

492
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: the same way, but it's still something funny enough, the

493
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 1: girl Danny said those things about they've been hanging out,

494
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: not besties, but weirdly this mess kind of forced a

495
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: level of honesty between them that ended up creating mutual understanding. Okay, See,

496
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,959
Speaker 1: it's crazy how what apology goes so far between two parties.

497
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 4: That's the thing. It's honesty. It's when you have an

498
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 4: honest conversation with some someone. Yep, the bond is created.

499
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,199
Speaker 4: Man is created. And I think a lot of parents

500
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:36,320
Speaker 4: are afraid to seem vulnerable in front of their children

501
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 4: because you want to kind of keep that position of power. Yeah,

502
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,160
Speaker 4: but being vulnerable with your kids is important. They need

503
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 4: to know that you know you're human too.

504
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, for sure. The girl told Danny she was

505
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,440
Speaker 1: really hurt at first because she thought Danny meant for

506
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 1: her to see those messages, But once they had a

507
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: real conversation, she realized that wasn't the case. She admitted

508
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: she was more mad at the girl who leaked the

509
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: test texts her friend who synth the screenshots around. After

510
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 1: falling out, she told Danny she now gets that the

511
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: stuff said in the chat wasn't meant to be public

512
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 1: or malicious, just venting between teens, she said. She said

513
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: worse thanks herself in the private about people she was

514
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 1: frustrated with. It didn't excuse it, but it helped her

515
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: put it in perspective, and she let it go. As

516
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: for therapy. As for therapy, I brought it up. I

517
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 1: told my husband that maybe this could be a good

518
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 1: opportunity for all of us to work on our dynamics,

519
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: maybe family therapy or even just individual support to unpack

520
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: some of the emotional baggage that clearly still weighs heavy.

521
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: He's open to family therapy, but absolutely shut down the

522
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,880
Speaker 1: idea of individual counseling for himself. Danny's kind of on

523
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: the fence. She says she doesn't hate the idea, but

524
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,200
Speaker 1: she doesn't like but she doesn't feel like she needs

525
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:01,680
Speaker 1: it either.

526
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 4: I think that this parent was a big moves, you know,

527
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,880
Speaker 4: big moves. Yeah, I saw some people saying like, ah,

528
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 4: he was abusive, blah blah blah. I think I think

529
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 4: that it's important to remember that people are human and

530
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 4: fallible and make mistakes. Yeah, especially parents. That parenting is

531
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 4: not something that you really are taught how to do,

532
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 4: you kind of. I mean, like you have your parents,

533
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 4: you have role models and stuff, but each child is

534
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 4: different and there are different challenges that come with it,

535
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 4: and you know it's learning. And as long as you're

536
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 4: open to learning and admitting your mistakes, that's all you

537
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 4: can ask for.

538
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really all you can ask for. Back to

539
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: the story, things aren't magically fixed, but we are in

540
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: a more honest place now. Danny's been handling this whole

541
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: situation with more maturity than I expected. Let's go Danny,

542
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 1: My husband and I are still figuring out what parenting

543
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: together means. Would we come at things from different emotional angles.

544
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 1: I stand by what I said in the original post.

545
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 1: Kids don't just bounce back from emotional shifts and pretend

546
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: like nothing happened. Doesn't help anyone, but I'm glad we

547
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: didn't just leave things frozen there. Thanks to everyone who

548
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 1: took the time to give their advice. That's it. But wow,

549
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 1: that was great. I like that one.

550
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 4: Love when there's solutions and there's conversations.

551
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, we want me too. Oh man, hey,

552
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 1: John og hoist here, we're gonna get back to this episode.

553
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 2: But a quick three minute break of ads from a

554
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 2: sponsor's keeping the show alive.

555
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 4: My husband told me he only settled for me because

556
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 4: he's afraid to be alone.

557
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: I'm scared of the dark.

558
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 4: I was single, mom of two when I met my husband.

559
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 4: My husband is nine years older than me. I was

560
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 4: thirty three when we got married. I'm forty one now.

561
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 4: My kids are grown and out of the house now too.

562
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 4: My husband got wasted and Revie old terrible things that

563
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 4: I wished I just didn't know.

564
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: Ah.

565
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from unattractive wife, And if

566
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 4: you want to smit your own stories, go to the

567
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 4: r slash okay story dumbs up rid it. So he

568
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 4: married me because he didn't want to pass away alone.

569
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

570
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 4: He only had two relationships three total if you include me.

571
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 4: He's not attracted to women that look like me. He said,

572
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 4: I'm overweight and he was very underwhelmed by my appearance.

573
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 4: But he learned to love me on the inside because

574
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 4: even though I'm ugly on the outside, I'm so beautiful

575
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,239
Speaker 4: on the inside, and that's what makes me different from

576
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 4: the other girls. And the way he said that to me,

577
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 4: and the way he said that to me, he made

578
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 4: it sound so genuine, like he was saying something so

579
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 4: sweet and romantic to me. But it's like, dude, you

580
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 4: didn't realize you just called your.

581
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: Wife ugly and you settled.

582
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 4: He's like, I settled for you because you're so ugly,

583
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 4: but you're so beautiful and the on the inside, Like wow, what.

584
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 4: I cried so much that night. He did apologize since then,

585
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 4: but I can't get out of my head that my

586
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 4: husband thinks he's too good for me. He also said,

587
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 4: in no world he thought he would ever marry a

588
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 4: single mom and basically be a couck and be a

589
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 4: dad to someone else's kids. Yo, bro, that stop talking. Stop.

590
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 4: But he said he didn't want to pass away alone

591
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 4: and I was his only option, so he took on

592
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: my baggage. I think my husband thinks he deserves better

593
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 4: because he's not overweight and he's more financially stable than

594
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: most guys. I feel like he thinks he deserves a

595
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 4: hot twenty two year old girl with no kids. I

596
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 4: don't know, honestly, but it does hurt me that he

597
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 4: thinks I'm ugly and he just married me because he

598
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 4: doesn't want to pass away alone. I've had people tell

599
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 4: me to get over it and everyone settles, but I

600
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 4: have a hard time believing that every married couple settles.

601
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: Okay, one the life expectancy if someone saying is like

602
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: seventy eight.

603
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 4: Nowadays, man, you had time, but like.

604
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: Getting married to someone as fast as possible so you

605
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: don't alone. I'm like, I don't understand. I don't understand

606
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: the fear of loane. I guess yeah.

607
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,479
Speaker 4: Rellman commons. Commoner one says, holy eck, be prepared for

608
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 4: the Oh.

609
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: I was worse, dude.

610
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 4: I didn't mean it, and honestly, walk there is no

611
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 4: coming back from this that doesn't include excuses and justifications.

612
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,719
Speaker 4: You've got one shot at this life, don't spend it

613
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 4: like this. Opie says. He did apologize the next day

614
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 4: about everything, and he said that he shouldn't have said

615
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 4: it like that. How are you gonna have said that

616
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 4: in a good way? In what way would that have?

617
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 3: No?

618
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 4: He didn't really take back anything that he said. It

619
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 4: was more so insinuating that he just shouldn't have said

620
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 4: it so bluntly. He says, he fell in love with

621
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 4: me for my personality and the person and I am

622
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 4: on the inside. He says, it's basically like the show

623
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 4: Love is Blind. Stop talking. You're not even drunk anymore.

624
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 4: He doesn't care anymore that I'm ugly, and he grew

625
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 4: to fall in love with me.

626
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: He's blind now.

627
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 4: He's like, no, no, no, He's just like the show Love

628
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 4: is Blind. I just never look at you whenever I'm

629
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 4: talking to you, I close my eyes. Common or two, Wow,

630
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 4: I don't think I could get past that. Was he

631
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 4: a good stepdad? Nope, he says he was a better

632
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 4: dad than the real dad. My kids call their stepdad

633
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 4: their dad, and they call their bio dad by his

634
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 4: real name. Down voted commoner says, go to the gym,

635
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 4: make him pay for LiPo section, make him pay for

636
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 4: Tommy tucks. I hate this. He might pass away before you,

637
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 4: so he needs to pay for bless you. He needs

638
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,960
Speaker 4: to pay for beauty spa treatments for you, so you

639
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 4: can snag another old geyser that will punt off and

640
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 4: leave you a condo in Florida? Does he get ways?

641
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 4: Did a lot boozyaks have a shorter lifespan. You need

642
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 4: a life insurance policy. That person's insane. Opie says, I

643
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 4: really don't care to get plastic surgery and to look

644
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 4: a certain way. I know I'm not conventionally attractive to

645
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 4: the general population, but I don't feel like I was

646
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 4: created just for the male gaze. I'm old. I don't

647
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 4: care I look anymore. I did care way too much

648
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 4: how I looked when I was in my twenties, and

649
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 4: it was so toxic that it destroyed me. And I

650
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 4: refuse to go back to that. I'm so content with

651
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 4: just chillin and not worrying about how I look. Now

652
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 4: I'm forty one, I'm relaxing, and there is an update.

653
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 4: Uh honestly, yeah, I feel like if you're at the

654
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 4: point where he's saying like you're ugly, and he literally

655
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 4: said it multiple times when he was under the influence

656
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 4: and not under the influence, that is wild. That is

657
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 4: not a person you don't deserve to be with. The

658
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 4: person who actively thinks you are ugly and is willing

659
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 4: to tell you to your face that you're ugly, Like,

660
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 4: that's don't set you know what, don't sell for him?

661
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 4: You can do better than this guy.

662
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: Yep, and everyone is divorcing right now.

663
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 4: Man makes sense.

664
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: The update.

665
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 4: I had a lot of feedback from my first post

666
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 4: and everyone asked for an update. There is an update.

667
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,800
Speaker 4: I spoke with my husband about this, and he wants

668
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 4: to make our marriage work. Yeah, because he's scared him hang.

669
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: Alone might die tomorrow, so we have to make this work.

670
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 4: He can't leave, he said, he doesn't care about how

671
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 4: I look and should be happy. He's with me for

672
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 4: me and not the way I look. It's just hard

673
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 4: for me to get past. It's hard for me to

674
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 4: carry on in this house with him knowing my husband, Oh,

675
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 4: with him knowing my husband thinks I'm ugly and will

676
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 4: not hesitate to remind you of that fact. He just

677
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 4: said it again, like you're gonna have to now that

678
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 4: he's brought it out in the open, he's gonna say

679
00:34:59,120 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 4: it over and over.

680
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll just get through this together now.

681
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 4: Because okay, to want to feel like your partner is

682
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 4: attracted to you, agree. The only reason I hesitate leaving

683
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,399
Speaker 4: him because I'm forty one and barely it worked since

684
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 4: I got married. I haven't worked since I was a

685
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 4: single mom. I got I job hopped a lot from random,

686
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 4: low entry positions. He made me feel like I'll get

687
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 4: nowhere in life since it's too late to start a

688
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 4: career at my age. He laughed and asked me, what

689
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 4: will I even do? He does have a point there.

690
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 4: I don't know what I'll do. I don't know what

691
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,760
Speaker 4: I want to do. I hated every job I worked,

692
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 4: and I worked a lot of different kinds of entry

693
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 4: level jobs, from actual labor, waitressing, customer, service, receptionist. There

694
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 4: is a little bit left to this, but real quick,

695
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 4: there is no age limit for ninety five percent of jobs.

696
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 4: You know, maybe if you want to go out for

697
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 4: the Olympics, you probably can't do that, but a lot

698
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 4: of jobs, oh yeah can. There's a movie about uh

699
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 4: with the what's his face? Robert de Niro where he

700
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 4: plays a night like not like eighty year old the

701
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 4: interne He plays an eighty year old intern. That a

702
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 4: lot of actors started acting in their forties or fifties

703
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,799
Speaker 4: or even later, so there is no too late to

704
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 4: start a new career. There is no age requirement for

705
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 4: doing something new, unless it's the Olympics, you might you

706
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: might be out of that one.

707
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 1: I was thinking a firefighter, but you could be a

708
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: firefighter in some way. But if you like required like

709
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 1: an eighty year old man trying to drag people out of.

710
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 4: A Obviously there are physical requirements for things.

711
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: But other than that, you're good. You're good, you can

712
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: do anything.

713
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know I'm gonna get a hate for saying this,

714
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 4: but I think I might be unhappier going back to

715
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,280
Speaker 4: the workforce, spending majority of my days at work scheduling

716
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,359
Speaker 4: appointments and speaking to people on the phone, barely get

717
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 4: paid a living wage too. I think I'm gonna choose

718
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 4: to stay for money. Girl, Girl, Sure, if i'd divorce him,

719
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,720
Speaker 4: I'll get some fat money, but it's not long term.

720
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 4: Even with alimony, that's not forever. Alimony just isn't the

721
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 4: same as it was back in the day. Commoner one says, honestly,

722
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 4: and I'll probably get downloaded for this, but it sounds

723
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 4: like you're both getting something out of this marriage. He

724
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 4: gets someone to live with, and you don't have to work,

725
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 4: and you have someone who provides for you and your kids.

726
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 4: If you're both content, then attraction and love don't really matter.

727
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,479
Speaker 4: I know people on Reddit like to go scorched earth

728
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 4: if people aren't in love, like it's a Disney film.

729
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 4: But if you want to stay, then do it. But

730
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,240
Speaker 4: I do have a question. Is your husband conventionally attractive?

731
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 4: And as callous as this might sound, are you both

732
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 4: in each other's league? Because if you are, then I

733
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 4: can see why what he said in your first post

734
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 4: would have been incredibly shocking and he is a hypocrite.

735
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 4: But if you aren't, did you have no idea that

736
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 4: he didn't find you attractive before you got married or

737
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 4: did he lie to you? Because if he lied, then

738
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,760
Speaker 4: that's where the problem is. Opie says one hundred percent

739
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 4: agree with you. I don't think it's a divorce where

740
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 4: the things simply because he felt like he settled for me.

741
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 4: I know, regardless, people will think he is too good

742
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,560
Speaker 4: for me, and they will think he's settled for me

743
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,359
Speaker 4: just because I was a single mom. Anyways, he might

744
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 4: have settled for me. I don't really bring much to

745
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 4: the table. I was the ugly, broke single mom when

746
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 4: we met, and he was the wealthy old man. So

747
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 4: from other people's eyes too, they would think he was

748
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 4: the one that settled. I guess it shouldn't matter if

749
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 4: he felt like he did settle for me. He still

750
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 4: loves me for me and not the way I look.

751
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 4: I can't force someone to be attracted to me. I

752
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,840
Speaker 4: do know I'm not attractive. I have eyes and I

753
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 4: have seen myself in the mirror. It just hurts. It

754
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 4: just hurts hearing it because it was the first time

755
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 4: he said what everyone was thinking. And no, we're both ugly.

756
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,800
Speaker 4: But I still find him attractive. But I'm trying to

757
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 4: say that he's not conventionally attractive like other women wouldn't

758
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 4: be turned on by him physically. He kind of looks

759
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 4: like Brian Baumgartner from the office. He was more attractive

760
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 4: when we.

761
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: Met, though, Oh that's Kevin.

762
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 4: And then comment Too says, you can gain skills of

763
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 4: forty one, you're still young. Try going back to school

764
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 4: if you can. If you don't like it, then stop,

765
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 4: but you may love it and gain some confidence. Opie says,

766
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 4: I definitely don't want to go back to school yet.

767
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 4: I was never good at school and it was never

768
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 4: something I enjoyed doing. I was very depressed in school.

769
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 4: I still get nightmares about being in a classroom. I

770
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:26,720
Speaker 4: will say it's very different as an adult to take classes.

771
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: Taking things you like.

772
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, like you're it's super different. So if you're judging,

773
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 4: you know how you're going to experience class as an

774
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 4: adult with like how you experienced it when.

775
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:38,439
Speaker 1: You were a kid.

776
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 4: It's super different. I mean, just like in my hprov classes.

777
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 4: It's a totally different vibe when you're all adults.

778
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: I will say Opie's in a tough situation because I

779
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: don't think she works. She said every single job she's

780
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 1: ever had she hated. Yeah, she hates. I just don't

781
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: think she can divorce and then provide for herself. I

782
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 1: think that's the tough one she needs to figure out too,

783
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: that's what she actually likes. Yeah, and if you're not

784
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: willing to like do something uncomfortable and get into that,

785
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 1: I don't think she wants to.

786
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 4: Ope also responds to another comment saying I've explored around,

787
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 4: I have dabbled in all sorts of different jobs. I'm

788
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,439
Speaker 4: gonna be honest, I don't like working. The only joy

789
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 4: I felt in life is being around my family and

790
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,720
Speaker 4: children and being at home watching movies and TV shows.

791
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 4: I don't even like cooking, so I wouldn't say I

792
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 4: love the housewive crap. Lol, I'm a very lazy person.

793
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 1: Ooh ooh, okay, don't one.

794
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,240
Speaker 4: I don't think that you have to want to do jobs.

795
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 4: I think there are a lot, like I have a

796
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 4: lot of friends who are like, don't want to have

797
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 4: a career, and that's okay because they find joy in

798
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 4: different things and that's totally fine. I think you can

799
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 4: derive joy from other things that aren't career based. I

800
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 4: think that's just like something that our societies tell us

801
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 4: that we have to do. But I do think that

802
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 4: we should find we got to find something that we like,

803
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:02,280
Speaker 4: that's something that you know, we can do for ourselves

804
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 4: that exists outside of content and other people.

805
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:08,880
Speaker 1: You know.

806
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 4: Like, I think it's totally a fair and valid thing

807
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,080
Speaker 4: to be like, I, you know, love my family and

808
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 4: they kind of bring me purpose and that's very valid.

809
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: But I think that you know, you should find.

810
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 4: Something that you like doing because yeah, you know, you

811
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 4: like it, rather than because someone else likes it.

812
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 1: Oh, it's just I feel like she has to stay.

813
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 1: She will not allow herself to have any other option.

814
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: She must stay.

815
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, she has the mindset of that.

816
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 1: I hate working. Now I'm thinking about the husband because like,

817
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: in a way, he may. I mean, what he said

818
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 1: was horrible. But if someone's not really out there, like

819
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 1: pursuing something, that might look unattractive.

820
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 4: Too Patria Bass Oh no, sorry, Schmid says, she's using

821
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 4: him just like he's using her. It's weird.

822
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 1: It is weird.

823
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels like they're both like getting something out

824
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:08,760
Speaker 4: of this relationship, in which case, yes, sure, yeah.

825
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 3: My boyfriend proposed to me. But my friend said I

826
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 3: stole her spotlight. I hope this wasn't at a wedding.

827
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:13,040
Speaker 1: Oh god.

828
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 3: My twenty four female boyfriend twenty eight male have been together.

829
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 1: For a year and two days.

830
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: We had been seeing each other for a month before

831
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 3: the drift season at his home track started up. He

832
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 3: had asked me to wait, he's a drifter. He's a drifter,

833
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 3: not in like the He's a drifter old time like.

834
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 3: He drifts race cars. That's cool.

835
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 2: That's when the cars go and they're doing like the

836
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 2: craziest things, and the tires do smoke ding ding ding

837
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 2: ding ding ding. Uh.

838
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 3: He had asked me to come to the first event

839
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 3: on April second, twenty twenty two as a photographer in

840
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 3: the media team while he drifted in one of the

841
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 3: three groups. I got approved and that's how I went

842
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 3: to my first drift event. By the way, this comes

843
00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 3: from user that by CSR and if you want to

844
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

845
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 3: storytime subburn it.

846
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: So the moment was perfect.

847
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 3: He got me a ride along, and after some hesitation,

848
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 3: I strapped in.

849
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 1: It was one of the greatest experiences of my life.

850
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 3: After my ride along, I took off my helmet and

851
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: ran into his arms with adrenaline in my veins. I

852
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 3: fell in love with drifting and he fell in love

853
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 3: with me. We have a wonderful relationship. It's like living

854
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 3: in a fairy tale. He's this kind, caring, attentive partner

855
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:29,760
Speaker 3: whose love for me superseded his pessimism for the world.

856
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 3: Our communication, chemistry, comprehension, all of it is top notch.

857
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 3: We've never had an argument, which is honestly made a

858
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 3: red flag. We've never gone to bed mad at each other.

859
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 3: We're doing all the things we need to do to

860
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,759
Speaker 3: have a good future. It's great. So here's the meat

861
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 3: of the story. I have two best friends Sally and Gina.

862
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 3: Sally's birthdays April first, and this year the first drift

863
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 3: event of the season fell on the same date, so

864
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 3: we all coordinated a plant. Me and my boyfriend would

865
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 3: go to the track. We'd leave before the event ends,

866
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 3: get the mud off of us, and go Gina's house

867
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,640
Speaker 3: for Sally's birthday party. Already nothing is going right. What's

868
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 3: supposed to be a drizzle is full downpour, and what

869
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 3: was supposed to be a five to eight minute media

870
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,879
Speaker 3: meeting lasted sixteen seconds.

871
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 2: Hi, bye, thanks, thanks for coming out, lady, because of

872
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 2: the rain, ladies, is sixteen seconds not enough time? That's

873
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:22,120
Speaker 2: too short.

874
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 3: So I turned around and there he was, my boyfriend,

875
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 3: on one knee with a chick shaped ring.

876
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: Pop.

877
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 3: I felt two distinct emotions, joyous surprise and an instant

878
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:36,800
Speaker 3: oh crap, it's my bff's birthday. My stomach churned in confusion.

879
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 3: I couldn't hear anything he was saying. All I know

880
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 3: is that I got my yes out. We kissed, hugged,

881
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,480
Speaker 3: and I kept my breakfast down. I called Gina shortly

882
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,400
Speaker 3: after and tell her that he proposed.

883
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 4: I know.

884
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 3: She tried her best to sound app before me but

885
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 3: she said that we would have to chat when we

886
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 3: got to her house and that we shouldn't mention it

887
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 3: to Sally. I told her that I wasn't planning to

888
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 3: announce an engagement on her birthday and that we'd have

889
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 3: a better conversation in person. We talked briefly to my

890
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,479
Speaker 3: boyfriend and we agreed to keep it under wraps until

891
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 3: our anniversary the next day. Fast forward to Sally's birthday party.

892
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,760
Speaker 3: We've successfully avoided bringing it up, not to ruin the party,

893
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 3: but of course my boyfriend stuck his foot in his

894
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 3: mouth when he said, feel weird sharing anything about the

895
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 3: track without announcing our engagement. Sally was sitting in between us.

896
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 3: My heart dropped to my butt, and after we both

897
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 3: stared at each other, she disappeared into a room with Gina.

898
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 3: I'm not friends with this woman anymore. Your friend is

899
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,240
Speaker 3: immature and thinks that her birthday it belongs to her alone.

900
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:37,320
Speaker 2: That's her day, Dakota. I remember it was my birthday,

901
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 2: what the other week? And you're like, you had three birthdays.

902
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: I have more.

903
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,839
Speaker 3: He gets a whole month, but it's because he's cute

904
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 3: and we love him. But nothing else happens on those days.

905
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 3: This is nothing else up. No one else has a birthday,

906
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 3: no one else. It's my it's my month. If it's

907
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 3: your friend's wedding and you forget, like you do a

908
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 3: proposal at their wedding, you're literally a war criminal and

909
00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 3: you should be thrown in jail.

910
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: You know. But if one of my friends literally like

911
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 2: I got engaged and it is during a birthday party, like, dude,

912
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:07,040
Speaker 2: that's sick.

913
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 3: Let's party, yeah, not to mention that it wasn't even

914
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 3: at her party, like it was like, now, oh, everyone's

915
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 3: just gonna remember my birthday as your engagement announcement. And

916
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,879
Speaker 3: it's like, no, it didn't even happen there. So who

917
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 3: do you think you are? I'm not friends with this

918
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 3: person name.

919
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:24,320
Speaker 2: I would be legit party like everyone would be celebrating

920
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 2: all of us, Like that's sick.

921
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: Yes, of course a whole time. You got engaged on

922
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: my birthday. That's amazing.

923
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 2: Now you get to think of me every time you

924
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: guys have your anniversary. What have you?

925
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 3: She shortly came out and pulled me in the room,

926
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 3: and the first thing out of her mouth was I

927
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 3: heard what he said. My understanding. Gina and Sally.

928
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 2: Were upset that he went through the first half of

929
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:44,720
Speaker 2: his proposal.

930
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,919
Speaker 3: Plan when they had all been in on this elaborate

931
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:47,919
Speaker 3: engagement plan.

932
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:49,600
Speaker 1: Sally expressed that at.

933
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 3: First she was okay with sharing the day as he

934
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 3: had asked her, but after so much change, she told

935
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 3: him she wasn't comfortable with it because she felt like

936
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 3: he was putting her birthday as a sideline of to

937
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 3: celebrate the engagement instead. I explained that I knew how

938
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:05,760
Speaker 3: he was and figured that he did the first half

939
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,200
Speaker 3: because the track and the date are incredibly important to us.

940
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 3: That had I known he was planning this, I would

941
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 3: have stopped him to avoid the tension that I ended.

942
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,479
Speaker 3: My boyfriend drove Sally and another of our friends home,

943
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 3: and we headed home. The entire ride was spent in conversation.

944
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 3: He expressed that we had talked about engagement so much,

945
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 3: and April was such an important month in our relationship

946
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 3: that he didn't want to disappoint me by not proposing

947
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 3: on the first, and that he thought Sally meant she

948
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 3: wasn't comfortable with making the dinner portion about our engagement,

949
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: and he had no intentions of letting it slip. Whose credit,

950
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 3: he's a terrible liar, and to y'all's credit, this is

951
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 3: aw way too much, too many words, too many thoughts.

952
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 3: You got engaged, congratulations. Anyone who's your friend who doesn't

953
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 3: tell you that is not your friend? Why are we

954
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:56,280
Speaker 3: even talking about this? So now I'm in this uncomfortable position.

955
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 3: I spent our anniversary the next day, April second, trying

956
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 3: to eye earned this situation out.

957
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:02,720
Speaker 1: I apologize to Sally.

958
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 3: I discussed it with my boyfriend for the fiftieth time,

959
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 3: and his mom chimed in. He agreed to apologize to

960
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 3: make things right because he felt bad that she's upset,

961
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 3: and I'm upset because she's upset, and his mom said

962
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 3: that while she understood he picked such a rough date,

963
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 3: it sucked that Sally couldn't have put her anger aside

964
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 3: for just a moment to be happy for me. I

965
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 3: decided that we'd consider the ring pop engagement a gag

966
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: until he proposed with the actual ring, and we'd make

967
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:30,080
Speaker 3: that date our official engagement date. Third was spent in

968
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: hours long conversations trying to understand why Sally was this

969
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,760
Speaker 3: upset about it, and to my understanding, she was afraid

970
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 3: I'd have to pick between my engagement and her birthday

971
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 3: going forward. She felt like he put a damper on

972
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 3: the day. She felt like he had ignored her requests,

973
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 3: et cetera. Would she got a big sack of rocks

974
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 3: in her head. Sorry, oh, it's my Actually it's our

975
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,800
Speaker 3: engagement anniversary, which, by the way.

976
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: Who celebrates that.

977
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 4: No one.

978
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 2: It's like the wedding anniversary maybe like before you get married.

979
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:02,800
Speaker 2: Like I know, people are like, oh, we got engaged

980
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 2: on this day, and like like a little like champagne toast.

981
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 2: It's a memory dinner. But like, girl, they're not completely

982
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 2: taking away your birth right. They're at your birthday right now.

983
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 2: You're fraid they could have literally gone out and just said,

984
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 2: screw you, we're going out because we're partying. They're like, no,

985
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,919
Speaker 2: we're here. And the guide God, God forbid. The guy

986
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 2: is just super stoked that he proposed, even though it

987
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 2: was like a gag right legit, Like he's like, I

988
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 2: want to marry you. That's cute.

989
00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: You go, ah, let's let's boast to that, but like

990
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 3: celebrate back to me, your friend sound selfish and stupid.

991
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 3: And I comforted her by telling her that I'd never

992
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 3: have to choose because I'd always pick her birthday and

993
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 3: celebrate my engagement on our yearly anniversary the next day,

994
00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 3: and that this back and forth had to be resolved

995
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 3: between her and my boyfriend. The phone call ended with

996
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 3: Sally explaining that she was still angry, but she'd talk

997
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 3: it out with him. I reached my breaking point when

998
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 3: the reality hit not only had I not been able

999
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 3: to announce my engagement and still haven't, NO stopped to

1000
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,840
Speaker 3: realize that I was the only person in this equation

1001
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 3: who hadn't known anything, and I was the one stuck

1002
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,279
Speaker 3: trying to fix it all. I broke down when I

1003
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 3: realized that the only happy response I got was from

1004
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 3: my boyfriend's parents. I'm not mad at anyone specifically, and

1005
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,440
Speaker 3: I don't fully believe one person is right or wrong,

1006
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 3: but I'm at a loss.

1007
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: I'm scared of things.

1008
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 3: Going wrong when he does the formal proposal, and I

1009
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 3: want this to happen when Sally's at a place where

1010
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 3: she can be happy for me. But I'm incredibly frustrated

1011
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 3: that this is all happening over a date, and I'm

1012
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:28,399
Speaker 3: just not sure what to do or what steps to take.

1013
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 3: What would you do in my situation? At it I

1014
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 3: forgot to include. Gina was the first person I called

1015
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 3: when I broke down, as she had also been trying

1016
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:38,759
Speaker 3: to get Sally to see the situation. And Gina is

1017
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,359
Speaker 3: insisting that she'll take care of it on her end

1018
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:43,800
Speaker 3: because she loves me and can't believe this whole Sally

1019
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:48,280
Speaker 3: thing blinded everyone, including her to how I felt. Gina

1020
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 3: stated that Sally was just in an off mood the

1021
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 3: entire time, even before we arrived, that some stuff happened

1022
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 3: between a mutual friend soured the occasion, and that the

1023
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,760
Speaker 3: whole day had gone to crap for everyone, so tensions

1024
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 3: not related to us boiled over and I got stuck

1025
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,319
Speaker 3: with the heat, and that she insisted on me not

1026
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 3: spending two entire days on this for my happiness and sake.

1027
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 3: She apologized to me, boyfriend, apologized to Sally. Boyfriend apologized

1028
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 3: to me for putting me in this weird situation. Said

1029
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 3: that one way or another, we'd make my boyfriend's second

1030
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 3: proposal the best day of my life. And that's where

1031
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,879
Speaker 3: we are now. And there's an update, let's just get

1032
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 3: into it. It turns out Sally was running around behind

1033
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 3: the scenes and people's private DMS. People that weren't at

1034
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 3: the party, but in the surprise proposal chat. These people

1035
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 3: didn't know her but trusted her since she's my best friend.

1036
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 3: She was trying to skew public opinion of my partner

1037
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 3: and staged this entire ruining to make him react and

1038
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 3: show his true colors.

1039
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, your friend's not.

1040
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:50,280
Speaker 2: Your friend, Dude, your friend is not your friend.

1041
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 3: None of us realize this until I made a group

1042
00:51:55,520 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 3: with everyone except her involved, and everyone provided their account

1043
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:05,360
Speaker 3: and relevant screenshots. We all found serious inconsistencies and really

1044
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 3: questionable statements from Sally as each person took their turn,

1045
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 3: and it became clear to us Sally thought my partner's

1046
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 3: calm nature was some pretend show and he was fooling everyone.

1047
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 3: And I am apparently too in love to see the

1048
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:22,440
Speaker 3: red flags because op has changed. Everyone else has been

1049
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 3: trying to explain that I've changed for the better, but

1050
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 3: she wasn't hearing it. Guys, I don't know if anyone

1051
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 3: needs to be told this. If your friends aren't excited

1052
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 3: when you get married to your fiance that you love

1053
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:38,720
Speaker 3: and is not a piece of crap, they're not your friends.

1054
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 3: And this is not on like a big, big day

1055
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,720
Speaker 3: of theirs right, and you've done nothing extremely wrong, which

1056
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 3: is like we've said, funeral wedding.

1057
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: There's a honestly the only two I can think of

1058
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 1: all their.

1059
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 2: Proposal like somebody someone else's plan proposal, I don't know.

1060
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,320
Speaker 2: And it wasn't Again, it wasn't at their birth like

1061
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 2: at their birthday. It's one thing, but it wasn't at

1062
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 2: their birth birthday.

1063
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: It was literally at the track.

1064
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, if anyone actually hijacked the birthday, it was Sally,

1065
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 3: which makes perfect sense because it was Sally's plan to

1066
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 3: make it an issue, so she was the one who

1067
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 3: reacted that way when she just heard the mist just

1068
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 3: a comment, it was a.

1069
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 2: Very subtle thing.

1070
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:20,399
Speaker 3: Then she made a big deal out of it, so

1071
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,840
Speaker 3: she blew up her own party, trying to make I

1072
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 3: don't know, make him upset, which honestly, if I'm him,

1073
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 3: I'm more upset at op that. It's like, why are

1074
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,800
Speaker 3: you saying that this is our fault? We got married.

1075
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 3: Your friend should be happy for us. Why are you

1076
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,240
Speaker 3: saying I need to apologize to Sally for just being

1077
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 3: engaged to you, for loving you like what we I,

1078
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 3: on principle, will never apologize for marrying you.

1079
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: Anyway, let's finish this story.

1080
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 3: Sally's anger about this is this big because instead of

1081
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 3: having a terrible reaction to his engagement being ruined, he

1082
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,399
Speaker 3: took it with grace and extended an apology to her.

1083
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 3: She uses to talk to him, but demand that he

1084
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 3: offer a different apology, as this one wasn't good enough.

1085
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 3: She had a blowout with Gina where she tried again

1086
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 3: to insist that my partner ruined every single aspect of

1087
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 3: her birthday and began attacking her personally as retribution.

1088
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:14,760
Speaker 1: Gina hung up and cut.

1089
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 3: Her off right there before informing me I'm not giving

1090
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 3: her the opportunity to explain herself. I have more than

1091
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 3: enough proof of her behavior to justify going no contact permanently.

1092
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 3: We all had one big apology circle with each other

1093
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 3: for the miscommunications. We're all planning on going out next

1094
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 3: weekend and making April first the celebration of our friendship

1095
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 3: with a small nod to the engagement.

1096
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

1097
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1098
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 3: But here's three of its ads from our sponsors that

1099
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 3: keep the show alive.

1100
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 2: My fiance uninvited her friend from our wedding because she

1101
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 2: tried to sabotage us. Who's her friend the Beastie Boys.

1102
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:59,320
Speaker 2: It's sabotage My twenty seven male relationship with my fiancee

1103
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,879
Speaker 2: twenty nine fem has kind of blown up. I never

1104
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 2: felt this unsure in our relationship. I'm in need of

1105
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 2: outside perspectives for context. We're college sweethearts.

1106
00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 1: Huh.

1107
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 2: For orientation, I was curring campus and she was my

1108
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 2: group's tour guide. Oh that's how we met. She's my

1109
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:16,720
Speaker 2: first love and best friend.

1110
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:17,800
Speaker 4: Ah.

1111
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,439
Speaker 2: Now we're in the height of wedding planning. By the way,

1112
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 2: this comes from user throw By the way, this comes

1113
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 2: from user throw our A long shot fray and if

1114
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1115
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subret So about a couple of

1116
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,480
Speaker 2: years ago, we had a rough patch with her shutting

1117
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 2: down and pushing me away. She wanted to take a

1118
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 2: break so she can find herself again. I don't believe

1119
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,840
Speaker 2: in breaks. I wanted to work through it together, but

1120
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 2: her mind was made, so I agreed.

1121
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:48,320
Speaker 4: Ohoy.

1122
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 2: We established boundaries for the break. We wouldn't see other people,

1123
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 2: and we were to have checkups about where we were emotionally.

1124
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 2: The goal was to reinforce our foundation. The break was

1125
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: only a month. We bounced back stronger, but it's still

1126
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,960
Speaker 2: a sore spot. The break was the most distant we'd

1127
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:07,799
Speaker 2: ever been, and the experience highlighted why I'm against it. Recently,

1128
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 2: my fiance had a bad falling out with a mutual

1129
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 2: friend slash maid of honor twenty nine female who I'll

1130
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:16,560
Speaker 2: call Jos for clarity. Some nasty stuff was said and

1131
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 2: Joss accused my fiance of being a bridezilla and even

1132
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 2: a worse friend. I hope they riff between them would

1133
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 2: mend because they were so close for a long time,

1134
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 2: they were like sisters. But my fiance punted Jos out

1135
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 2: of the wedding and I invited her. The damage seemed

1136
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 2: to be done for both. The other day, Jos reached

1137
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 2: out to me and said that my fiance wasn't being

1138
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 2: completely truthful.

1139
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 1: Eoooooooo.

1140
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 2: She revealed not only did my fiance see other guys

1141
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 2: during the break, but also hooked up with someone on

1142
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: their annual girls trip. She gave the guy's name, but

1143
00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:54,960
Speaker 2: I don't know who he is. On the trip, my

1144
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 2: fiance's group linked up with another they clicked with Jos said.

1145
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 2: It was clear the guy had an eye for my fiance,

1146
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:05,760
Speaker 2: and eventually she and he began wandering off. My fiance

1147
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 2: ignored Jos's attempts to talking her down. It was a

1148
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,120
Speaker 2: lot to take in. My initial instinct was to shut

1149
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 2: Jos down. Up until this point, I trusted my fiance fully,

1150
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 2: but I couldn't overlook how much Joss's account matched my

1151
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 2: doubts from back then. Like I said, we were the

1152
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 2: most distant during our break. It wasn't on my part.

1153
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 2: There were times she was a wall on our checkups.

1154
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 2: During the Girl's ship that fell on our break, she

1155
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 2: went radio silent in a way she wasn't on previous trips.

1156
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: There was truth to linking up another group, because my

1157
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,919
Speaker 2: fiance told me about it. She's still casually in touch

1158
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 2: with some of them. Right after the trip, she was

1159
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 2: gung ho on calling to break off, how it was

1160
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 2: a mistake and that she was in a better headspace.

1161
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 2: We see this so many times, that literal sentence, I'm

1162
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 2: just not in the right head space. We need a break.

1163
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 2: I need to find myself. Listen to that person that

1164
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: literally like, if there's a reason to have the break, why.

1165
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 1: Are we having a break.

1166
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 2: What's trying to figure in the fact that you tried

1167
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 2: to figure it out ope and try to solve it

1168
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:10,400
Speaker 2: with her, and she's like, no, no, no, I need

1169
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 2: this for me. And we've heard this so many times.

1170
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 2: I'm not saying every one hundred percent of the time

1171
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 2: it's going to be that, but it's like, that's such

1172
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 2: a that's a flag the flag on the play. Joss

1173
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 2: claimed that this was part of their falling out. She

1174
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 2: was pushing my fiance to come clean with me before

1175
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 2: the wedding. She felt I deserve to know and wish

1176
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 2: she would have said something sooner. I didn't say much.

1177
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 2: I was too numb to really feel anything. I initially

1178
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 2: didn't confront my fiance. I was trying to process, but

1179
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 2: she could tell something was wrong and kept asking. When

1180
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 2: I did confront her, she was a whirlwind of emotions.

1181
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 2: She mostly ranted about Joss, but I told her this

1182
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 2: was her chance to tell her own story. She asked

1183
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:55,080
Speaker 2: if I'd hear her out. I promised I would. She

1184
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 2: confessed to seeing other guys during the break, but claims

1185
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 2: nothing happened why. She also denies ever hooking up with

1186
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 2: anyone on the trip. Lie we don't know. I asked

1187
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:09,560
Speaker 2: her why Joss would tell the truth about seeing other guys,

1188
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: which alone thoroughly broke our boundaries, but make up an

1189
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 2: elaborate lie about her cheating on the trip. She insists

1190
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 2: Joss is trying to sabotage our relationship. She said, the

1191
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 2: other guys meant nothing, and I'm the one she was

1192
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:23,320
Speaker 2: in love with, but you saw other guys.

1193
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 3: At this point, all op he can do is be like,

1194
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 3: all right, this is what I'm okay with. I. We

1195
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 3: had set this boundary and crost it. Now am I

1196
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 3: going to hold you accountable for it? And like stay

1197
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 3: true to my own principles and beliefs or not? That's

1198
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 3: where we're at.

1199
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like she wanted me to be grateful

1200
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 2: for choosing me. She promised to do anything to regain

1201
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 2: my trust. She said, we're starting our lives together and

1202
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 2: I shouldn't let Jos come between us. I wasn't very

1203
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 2: receptive to her. We fought, and I told her I

1204
00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 2: needed to think, now you need a break.

1205
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1206
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 1: I wonder how receptive she'll be to that. Yeah.

1207
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 2: Ever since she's been pooring on so much affection, she

1208
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,200
Speaker 2: still swears she never hooked up with anyone on the

1209
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:06,880
Speaker 2: girl's trip, and that Joss is trying to sabotage. But

1210
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,520
Speaker 2: I can't shake the possibility that Joss is telling the truth.

1211
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 2: All of this has blown up while we're in the

1212
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 2: middle of wedding planning. Invites are already delivered, venue booked,

1213
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 2: catering being arranged, suits, dresses, everything. I feel so numb.

1214
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 2: I'm in love with my fiance, She's my best friend.

1215
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:24,680
Speaker 2: It feels wrong to doubt her. But I'm questioning everything,

1216
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 2: even myself. I don't know what to believe anymore. I

1217
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:30,440
Speaker 2: feel like I'm an idiot. How do I move forward

1218
01:00:30,440 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 2: for myself and for my relationship? And we have an update, Dakota,

1219
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 2: she brought she cross the boundary. She lied to you.

1220
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 2: Who's to say that she's not lying about not hooking up. Yeah,

1221
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 2: the fact that you literally, like, hey, she could have

1222
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 2: literally lied to him like Joss is wrong. She didn't.

1223
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 2: She lied about everything. But the fact that she's like, Okay,

1224
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come somewhat clean here. I did see other guys,

1225
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 2: but I didn't do anything. She still crossed that line,

1226
01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 2: and that fact, the that it would have been brought

1227
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 2: up until Jos said something.

1228
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:06,480
Speaker 3: Right, and now you have to question, all right, so

1229
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 3: is she really telling the truth or is she doing

1230
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 3: the thing where it's like, well, see, because I've told

1231
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,600
Speaker 3: you something that I was keeping hidden. Now it's like,

1232
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 3: why would I be lying? I already admit So see,

1233
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 3: I chose you.

1234
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 1: I chose you.

1235
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,120
Speaker 2: I didn't choose those guys, but I did want to break.

1236
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 2: Remember when we wanted to, like I wanted to get

1237
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:25,720
Speaker 2: go on a break and you said you wanted to

1238
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,440
Speaker 2: work things out, but I didn't want to work things

1239
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 2: with you. After that month, I chose you.

1240
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: What am I peak at?

1241
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:33,160
Speaker 3: You?

1242
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:34,600
Speaker 1: Nice?

1243
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 2: We have an update. Thank you to everyone who reached out.

1244
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 2: It helped me twenty seven male much needed perspective. I

1245
01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:42,320
Speaker 2: wanted to give an update. I wanted to fuller picture

1246
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:45,560
Speaker 2: before making a decision on anything with my fiance twenty

1247
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 2: nine female. I knew her friends slash Bridemaids would be

1248
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 2: a lost cause I get along with them, but they're

1249
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:53,760
Speaker 2: more of my fiance's friends and their group runs deep.

1250
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:55,920
Speaker 2: They weren't going to talk at the expense of my fiance.

1251
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:59,080
Speaker 2: I asked Jos twenty nine female for more info and

1252
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,760
Speaker 2: for evidence to her about my fiance hooking up with

1253
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 2: someone on their girl's trip.

1254
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:03,800
Speaker 1: She said.

1255
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 2: My fiance avoided talking about that particular trip, especially over text.

1256
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 2: Most of their arguments were in person, but she showed

1257
01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 2: me text from shortly after the trip where my fiance

1258
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 2: confirmed hooking up with the guy. She texted, how it's

1259
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 2: in her rear view mirror and she doesn't need a

1260
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 2: lecture about the past. She's focusing on the future. I

1261
01:02:22,440 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 2: knew the possibility, and my fiance already confessed to seeing

1262
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 2: other guys during our break, but I don't know. Seeing

1263
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 2: those texts made it real in a way it wasn't before.

1264
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 2: In the text, she expressed regret, but it didn't make

1265
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 2: me feel better. I confronted my fiance and I knew

1266
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:39,080
Speaker 2: immediately by the look on her face. She came clean

1267
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 2: on everything she thought. Jost deleted the text. Around the break,

1268
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 2: we were having series talks about marriage. She started worrying

1269
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,960
Speaker 2: she was missing out on stuff her single friends were

1270
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:52,480
Speaker 2: engaging in. During the break, she sought validation from other

1271
01:02:52,520 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 2: guys and fooled around with the guy on the girl's trip.

1272
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,040
Speaker 2: And her own words, she had a temporary high when

1273
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 2: he chased her, but felt worse about herself post hook up.

1274
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, babe, wake up, you just discovered morality. Congrats.

1275
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:09,480
Speaker 2: You feel bad because you did a bad thing. And

1276
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 2: this happens so many times, so many times. She claims

1277
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 2: the break showed her what was important you and that

1278
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:20,040
Speaker 2: she wasn't missing out on anything. Again you, She was

1279
01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:23,080
Speaker 2: reassured we were right for each other because she had

1280
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 2: to hook up with a guy first. And she's like,

1281
01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 2: oh wait, oh this guy. I have no connection with

1282
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:29,160
Speaker 2: this guy.

1283
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 3: No, no, no, you see, what I did wasn't bad

1284
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 3: because I felt bad about doing it.

1285
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 2: I hardly said anything to her. I mostly just listened.

1286
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 2: I was too numb for much else. She kept asking

1287
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:41,440
Speaker 2: me to say something, but what was there for me

1288
01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 2: to say? I felt her actions spoke enough for us both.

1289
01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,800
Speaker 2: She kept apologizing for stepping out. When I asked her

1290
01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 2: why she wasn't up front with me, she said she

1291
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 2: didn't want to lose me over her biggest mistake.

1292
01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,840
Speaker 3: Why didn't you tell me, Well, the consequences of my

1293
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 3: actions would have showed out.

1294
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 2: I would have lost you.

1295
01:03:59,000 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1296
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 2: So again, but it's like, you know, the whole time,

1297
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,120
Speaker 2: you did something wrong and you're deceiving your partner, and

1298
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:06,800
Speaker 2: you're hiding this from him because you know it was

1299
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 2: wrong and bad. Her position that Jos wasn't being noble

1300
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 2: hasn't changed. I told her, Joss's motives don't matter. The

1301
01:04:15,000 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 2: truth is the truth. She asked if I could find

1302
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:19,720
Speaker 2: it in myself to move past this. No, she said,

1303
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 2: she loves me and she's fully committed. I couldn't tell

1304
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 2: her what she wanted. I said it was best the

1305
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 2: wedding be put off and I need space to sort

1306
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 2: my feelings. You're going on her break, brother. She was

1307
01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 2: against postponing and proclaimed this didn't have to define us,

1308
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:34,520
Speaker 2: and she's still the same woman I wanted to marry.

1309
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:36,600
Speaker 2: She asked me not to give up on us. You

1310
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 2: already did that.

1311
01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:39,479
Speaker 1: You did that? Did that?

1312
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, girl, you did that. But the same

1313
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 2: way her mind was made about the break, my mind

1314
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 2: was made on postponing. It wasn't a choice. It wasn't

1315
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 2: so much a fight, more putting everything out there. She

1316
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:54,560
Speaker 2: cried a lot, she rarely cries. It felt wrong to

1317
01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 2: leave her crying. My first instinct was to comfort her,

1318
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:59,080
Speaker 2: but I was too broken to fake it. I've been

1319
01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 2: hurt before, but she hurt me in a way only

1320
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 2: she could. I know postponding the wedding is for the best.

1321
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,440
Speaker 2: The reason why I didn't call it off entirely is

1322
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:11,000
Speaker 2: because I'm way too much in my emotions right now, hurt, anger, sadness,

1323
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 2: and somehow numbness at all possible. I try to avoid

1324
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:17,479
Speaker 2: making decisions lost in emotion. I need to clear my head.

1325
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 2: I was so sure of my course and relationship. My

1326
01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 2: fiance was my partner in every sense. She was who

1327
01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:26,680
Speaker 2: I wanted to make a life with. Sometimes she'd act

1328
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:29,960
Speaker 2: so superior about our relationship compared to those of her friends.

1329
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:32,480
Speaker 2: I feel so stupid. She says, she's still the same

1330
01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 2: person I love, but that's gone. But the fact is

1331
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,600
Speaker 2: she had a secret life I knew nothing about. I'm

1332
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,720
Speaker 2: trying my best to understand that, but I'm at a

1333
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:43,160
Speaker 2: complete loss. I'm not sure if I can move past this.

1334
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:46,320
Speaker 2: Ohp your fiance is conniving. That's the word. I got.

1335
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:49,360
Speaker 2: The fact that she wanted the break and she didn't

1336
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:53,160
Speaker 2: respect your boundary of like, hey, oh your boundaries first

1337
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 2: off for the break, but also didn't respect that you

1338
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,920
Speaker 2: wanted the work things out. Think she wanted to go

1339
01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:02,240
Speaker 2: on the break. That's one technically two. She got caught,

1340
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 2: but she didn't tell you the full truth. She didn't

1341
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,760
Speaker 2: tell you the full truth, right, You're like, hey, tell

1342
01:06:07,760 --> 01:06:10,840
Speaker 2: me the full truth. I hung out with guys, but

1343
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 2: I didn't do anything. And then that's already three strikes.

1344
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:18,120
Speaker 2: You're already out. Four. You got caught again with actual

1345
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 2: red with receipts. I'm sorry, Op, she lied to you

1346
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 2: four times.

1347
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:29,960
Speaker 3: I need to take a break to discover myself. Yeah,

1348
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:33,120
Speaker 3: I thought we were getting married. No, I need to

1349
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 3: discover myself. Do you want to be someone who's not

1350
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 3: going to get married to me because we can do that.

1351
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,800
Speaker 2: This sucks because you're losing all the respect for yourself,

1352
01:06:44,120 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 2: all that you know. The trust is broken. Now, it's

1353
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 2: very hard to go past this. But the fact that

1354
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 2: you tried to give her that chance, I'm sorry for me.

1355
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,400
Speaker 2: I'm done for thought sharks.

1356
01:06:57,440 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 1: I'm out.

1357
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:01,960
Speaker 2: Let's finish the story and see what OP wants to do.

1358
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 2: All the guests have been informed of the postponement. Some

1359
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:08,800
Speaker 2: question why, but I've been vague. I'm just too embarrassed.

1360
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:11,640
Speaker 2: I feel bad for the guests too. Some with limited

1361
01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 2: means already booked flights in hotels and took time off

1362
01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:16,800
Speaker 2: work for our wedding. That's how far we were in

1363
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:20,919
Speaker 2: the home stretch. M Jos yummy, sh my god. Oh

1364
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:24,400
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, thanks Jay, thank you Jos, Joss. But like

1365
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 2: Joss is also part of it. She should have said

1366
01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 2: this so long ago, or someone should have come clean

1367
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:36,800
Speaker 2: long ago. So Jos did do the right thing, but

1368
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:39,560
Speaker 2: she also is a part of it. In some ways,

1369
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 2: it doesn't feel like my life. We were just together

1370
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,440
Speaker 2: wedding planning and discussing the honeymoon. The honeymoon was a

1371
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:49,320
Speaker 2: surprized destination for her, someplace she's always wanted to visit.

1372
01:07:49,520 --> 01:07:51,520
Speaker 2: Now we're here, I don't know where to go or

1373
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 2: what the future hold. Thanks to everyone again for the support.

1374
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:55,960
Speaker 2: It means a lot.