WEBVTT - The only way to have a friend 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to invest time in your friendships by

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<v Speaker 1>building micro connection time into each day, because the only

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<v Speaker 1>way to have a friend is to be one. I

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<v Speaker 1>hear from lots of people in their thirties and forties

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<v Speaker 1>who wish that they had more or deeper friendships. And

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<v Speaker 1>I know from studying people's schedules that lots of people

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<v Speaker 1>in their thirties and forties spend nearly all their leisure

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<v Speaker 1>time with their partners, their kids, or screens. If you

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<v Speaker 1>invest all your time in work and family and TV

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<v Speaker 1>or social media to zone out and relax, then it's

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<v Speaker 1>no wonder friendships don't feel as vibrant as they used

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<v Speaker 1>to when you could play on the playground at recess

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<v Speaker 1>together every day. But by setting aside just a little

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<v Speaker 1>time every day, you can maintain and even grow your friendships.

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<v Speaker 1>With family and career, you have a lot on your plate,

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<v Speaker 1>but by intentionally investing in your other relationships too, you'll

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<v Speaker 1>be able to keep them going even through your busiest seasons.

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<v Speaker 1>One way to do this is by designating a specific

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<v Speaker 1>time each day. For reaching out to friends, this can

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<v Speaker 1>really be just ten minutes. Perhaps this is the time

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<v Speaker 1>you're waiting for your oatmeal to cook, or while you're

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<v Speaker 1>on the subway in the afternoon, or ten minutes as

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<v Speaker 1>part of your morning routine. If you use this time

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<v Speaker 1>for quick calls, texts, or emails, then you'll reinforce your

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<v Speaker 1>connections by letting the people you care about know that

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<v Speaker 1>they're on your mind. Often, deeper contact may ensue, like

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<v Speaker 1>a longer call later in the day if you just

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<v Speaker 1>left a voicemail, a substantive text or email exchange, or

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<v Speaker 1>plans to get together in person or by phone. If

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<v Speaker 1>you build friend time into your daily routine, you'll soon

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<v Speaker 1>figure out the kinds of occasions that work. For reaching

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<v Speaker 1>out a thank you note, a birthday or anniversary message.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe you learn someone is going through an intense time

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<v Speaker 1>or has something important happening, like a big presentation at work.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send a cheerful bit of encouragement, or even

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<v Speaker 1>just wish people well as they leave for a vacation.

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<v Speaker 1>For instance, in ten minutes today, you might send a

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<v Speaker 1>birthday text to your childhood best friend, Happy birthday, Amy,

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<v Speaker 1>I hope your day is as fun as your Madeline

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<v Speaker 1>birthday party circa best Birthday party ever. You could also

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<v Speaker 1>email your gym buddy a podcast episode about how friends

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<v Speaker 1>who exercise together are more likely to reach their fitness goals.

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<v Speaker 1>Check this out. We are each other's ticket to health

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<v Speaker 1>and fitness. You could send a thinking of You card

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<v Speaker 1>to a friend who's recovering from knee surgery. If you're counting,

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<v Speaker 1>that is three friendships strengthened in less time than it

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<v Speaker 1>takes to stop for a cup of coffee. Substantive private

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<v Speaker 1>messages or posts to friends on social media can have

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<v Speaker 1>a similar effect, but passively viewing and liking doesn't really,

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<v Speaker 1>so be sure to use your friend time for really

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<v Speaker 1>reaching out and connecting, not just scrolling. If you are

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<v Speaker 1>using social media, use it to note who has upcoming

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<v Speaker 1>birthdays or who is writing about something big and important

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<v Speaker 1>that's happening in their lives, and then use that as

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<v Speaker 1>an impetus for personal communication. If you reach out to

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<v Speaker 1>friends and family regularly, you will be on the receiving

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<v Speaker 1>end of more communication from your loved ones too, So

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<v Speaker 1>you can start using some of your friend time each

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<v Speaker 1>day to respond to others calls and texts and emails

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<v Speaker 1>and notes and to schedule social time. It's also good

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<v Speaker 1>idea to periodically double check that you don't have any

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<v Speaker 1>messages you've missedst or plans for getting together that are

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<v Speaker 1>still up in the air. And speaking of get togethers,

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<v Speaker 1>the designated ten minutes of friend time is in addition

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<v Speaker 1>to lengthier interactions like your monthly brunch date with your

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<v Speaker 1>best friend, your ten minutes of daily friend time is

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<v Speaker 1>helping to maintain your relationships in between times of deeper interaction.

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<v Speaker 1>So today consider when you might find ten minutes or

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<v Speaker 1>so for micro connection time. Then get into the habit

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<v Speaker 1>of using this time to nourish your relationships. The only

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<v Speaker 1>way to have a friend is to be one, so

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<v Speaker 1>let's get going. In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>Podcast at i heeart media dot com That Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.