1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to invest time in your friendships by 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,599 Speaker 1: building micro connection time into each day, because the only 5 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:27,960 Speaker 1: way to have a friend is to be one. I 6 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: hear from lots of people in their thirties and forties 7 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: who wish that they had more or deeper friendships. And 8 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: I know from studying people's schedules that lots of people 9 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 1: in their thirties and forties spend nearly all their leisure 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: time with their partners, their kids, or screens. If you 11 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: invest all your time in work and family and TV 12 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,840 Speaker 1: or social media to zone out and relax, then it's 13 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: no wonder friendships don't feel as vibrant as they used 14 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: to when you could play on the playground at recess 15 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: together every day. But by setting aside just a little 16 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: time every day, you can maintain and even grow your friendships. 17 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: With family and career, you have a lot on your plate, 18 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: but by intentionally investing in your other relationships too, you'll 19 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: be able to keep them going even through your busiest seasons. 20 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: One way to do this is by designating a specific 21 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: time each day. For reaching out to friends, this can 22 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,679 Speaker 1: really be just ten minutes. Perhaps this is the time 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: you're waiting for your oatmeal to cook, or while you're 24 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: on the subway in the afternoon, or ten minutes as 25 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 1: part of your morning routine. If you use this time 26 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: for quick calls, texts, or emails, then you'll reinforce your 27 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: connections by letting the people you care about know that 28 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: they're on your mind. Often, deeper contact may ensue, like 29 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,600 Speaker 1: a longer call later in the day if you just 30 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: left a voicemail, a substantive text or email exchange, or 31 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: plans to get together in person or by phone. If 32 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: you build friend time into your daily routine, you'll soon 33 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: figure out the kinds of occasions that work. For reaching 34 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,639 Speaker 1: out a thank you note, a birthday or anniversary message. 35 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: Maybe you learn someone is going through an intense time 36 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: or has something important happening, like a big presentation at work. 37 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: You can send a cheerful bit of encouragement, or even 38 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 1: just wish people well as they leave for a vacation. 39 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: For instance, in ten minutes today, you might send a 40 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:39,119 Speaker 1: birthday text to your childhood best friend, Happy birthday, Amy, 41 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: I hope your day is as fun as your Madeline 42 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: birthday party circa best Birthday party ever. You could also 43 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: email your gym buddy a podcast episode about how friends 44 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: who exercise together are more likely to reach their fitness goals. 45 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: Check this out. We are each other's ticket to health 46 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: and fitness. You could send a thinking of You card 47 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: to a friend who's recovering from knee surgery. If you're counting, 48 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: that is three friendships strengthened in less time than it 49 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: takes to stop for a cup of coffee. Substantive private 50 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: messages or posts to friends on social media can have 51 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: a similar effect, but passively viewing and liking doesn't really, 52 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: so be sure to use your friend time for really 53 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: reaching out and connecting, not just scrolling. If you are 54 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: using social media, use it to note who has upcoming 55 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 1: birthdays or who is writing about something big and important 56 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: that's happening in their lives, and then use that as 57 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: an impetus for personal communication. If you reach out to 58 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: friends and family regularly, you will be on the receiving 59 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: end of more communication from your loved ones too, So 60 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: you can start using some of your friend time each 61 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: day to respond to others calls and texts and emails 62 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: and notes and to schedule social time. It's also good 63 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 1: idea to periodically double check that you don't have any 64 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: messages you've missedst or plans for getting together that are 65 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: still up in the air. And speaking of get togethers, 66 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: the designated ten minutes of friend time is in addition 67 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: to lengthier interactions like your monthly brunch date with your 68 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: best friend, your ten minutes of daily friend time is 69 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: helping to maintain your relationships in between times of deeper interaction. 70 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: So today consider when you might find ten minutes or 71 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: so for micro connection time. Then get into the habit 72 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: of using this time to nourish your relationships. The only 73 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: way to have a friend is to be one, so 74 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: let's get going. In the meantime, This is Laura, Thanks 75 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 76 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 77 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,479 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 78 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod 79 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 80 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 81 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: Podcast at i heeart media dot com That Before Breakfast 82 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 83 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 84 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from 85 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 86 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.