1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:08,039 Speaker 1: She was my mother, my father, my confident like everything, 2 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: and I kind of yes, want to follow on her footsteps, 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: but I also want to be seen as me. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 2: When you have parents in the public eye, it can 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 2: seem to think, oh, we know how to do this, 6 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: we know exactly how we did it and what works. 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 2: But what I want to do for me is not 8 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 2: going to be that. I almost feel guilty to talk 9 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 2: about it because you feel like, how could you complain 10 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 2: about that. You come from this legacy, you come from 11 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 2: this amazing FAMILYSA. 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to this week's episode of Cheeky's and Chill. Today, 13 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: I'm excited to welcome to amazing Gubanas. We're going to 14 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 1: talk about a few things, including what it's like growing 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: up in a famous household. This is Cheeky's and Chill. 16 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: As most of you guys know, my family is in 17 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: the music industry. My grandpa had a music or has 18 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,839 Speaker 1: actually a record label. My mom was a singer and 19 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: she still is. You know, she's not here with us physically, 20 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:13,800 Speaker 1: but see B. 21 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 3: And Well. 22 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: It was beautiful, but there was a lot of pressure, 23 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: you guys, A lot of pressure because especially when I 24 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,959 Speaker 1: wanted to start singing, When I started singing. It was 25 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: just NonStop comparison and very high expectations because all of 26 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,000 Speaker 1: my family sings. So anyways, there are beautiful things pro 27 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: COmON Ma Las Cosas, Gison, the Filas. There was a 28 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: lot of competition in my family growing up, and just 29 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: all I could really think is a lot of pressure. 30 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: And we're going to get more into that because one 31 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: of my guests today she also grew up in a 32 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: famous music household. Emily Stefan is an artist and co 33 00:01:55,240 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 1: host of micro Tura podcast In Our Own World. Welcome, Welcome, 34 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: How are you Emily? 35 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I am great. 36 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: I am sitting here with my incredible co captain Jeminy Hernandez. 37 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 2: We do in Our Own World on Michael through the 38 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 2: podcast Network. I just want to say it is so 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 2: incredible because it's difficult because even just talking about this 40 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 2: subject feels like we should be at least for me, 41 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: I don't want to speak for you. When I start 42 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: to say, oh my god, the comparison, oh my god, 43 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 2: and everybody this and that, I almost feel guilty to 44 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 2: talk about it because you feel like, how could you 45 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 2: complain about that? You come from this legacy, you come 46 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 2: from this amazing family, but people are making you super insecure, 47 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 2: treating you like a stepping stone to something larger, making 48 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 2: you feel lesser than. And then, you know what, I 49 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 2: haven't found barely any people in my life to connect 50 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 2: to that can understand that. Because just like you, when 51 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 2: you sing, when you create art that comes from you, 52 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 2: it comes from the legacy of your family, right, you 53 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 2: should be proud that's within you, the same way that 54 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 2: I am. 55 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 3: But the moment that. 56 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 2: Somebody says, oh, you don't sing as well as your mom, 57 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 2: and you're not as pretty, and you're gay and this 58 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 2: and whatever, then it's like going, yo, man, you know 59 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 2: what I mean. 60 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,359 Speaker 3: So it's just very beautiful to validate this energy. 61 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 2: And also it's not to take away from the fact 62 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 2: that we're very blessed to come from this beautiful legacy, 63 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 2: but we have our own obstacles to deal with, and 64 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 2: I feel like it's a good thing for people to 65 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 2: hear about. 66 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,799 Speaker 1: No thank you, Emily, And that's something I wanted to 67 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: talk about. It's a subject that I've been wanting to 68 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: talk about for a while. But like you said, it's 69 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: difficult to find people that are in our same position 70 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: and willing to talk about it because it could come 71 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: off we're not grateful, we should have no complaints. But 72 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: it's just like, it's not that I'm complaining. This is 73 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: just my experience. This is my truth, you know what 74 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: I mean. And of course I don't want to ignore 75 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: the amazing fact that we have Gemini here. How are you, 76 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: my love? Tell us a little bit about you. 77 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,839 Speaker 4: Thank you know, I'm really happy to be here. 78 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 5: You know. I get to know Emily in a very 79 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 5: special way, obviously intimate way, the way that you know 80 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 5: a partner that you've been with for a few years, 81 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 5: like we've been, and I know what this subject means 82 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 5: to her, even though I can't personally relate because. 83 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 4: It's not my experience. 84 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 5: But it was a lesson to me being somebody on 85 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 5: the outside who used to see celebrity in one way 86 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 5: and of course critique it in one way. 87 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 4: You don't know what you're talking about. You've never actually struggled. 88 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 5: It was a humbling experience to realize that all of us, 89 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 5: even the ones that you think are struggling the least, 90 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 5: are struggling, and we have feelings and experiences that are 91 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 5: just as valid as the next person. There's no need 92 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 5: to feel that somebody can't have the space or the 93 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 5: support to speak about it. So I'm happy to be 94 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 5: here with you, ladies as part of this journey. 95 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 3: You listen. 96 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 2: She gets a lot of heat too, because dating somebody 97 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 2: that is affiliated with, you know, some kind of legacy 98 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,559 Speaker 2: and musical family is not easy either. 99 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 3: People hit her up all the time. You know, Oh, 100 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 3: you know, I haven't talked to you in eight years. 101 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 4: But Mommy, I. 102 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 3: Bet keeping a real girl. 103 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,840 Speaker 1: Did you know Emily that your mom was famous when 104 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: you were growing up? 105 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean, you know, I'm sure you get this 106 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 3: a lot too. 107 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 2: Like the one of the questions I've heard the most 108 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,359 Speaker 2: in my life, it's like, what is it like for 109 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 2: your mom to be Gloria's Stefan. I'm like, she's my mom. 110 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 2: I'm like, that's it, Like, my mom is Gloria's Stefan. 111 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 2: I don't know how else to explain that to you. 112 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 2: It's not that my mom is Glorious Stefan. Is that 113 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 2: that is my mother? 114 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 3: What is your mother? To you? 115 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:37,479 Speaker 1: Right? 116 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,760 Speaker 2: You know, and to a lot of people in this life, 117 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 2: granted they don't have a relationship with their mom. Luckily, 118 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 2: I'm so proud of the fact that we have an 119 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 2: incredible relationship. 120 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 3: We love each other a lot. It has its fault. 121 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 2: Which we've even tried to talk about and not air out, 122 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 2: but show the world that every mother and daughter has 123 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 2: their own dynamic. But the point is that at the 124 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 2: end of the day, you love each other like hell, 125 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,839 Speaker 2: and we really do. I mean, I have her tattooed 126 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 2: on my arm right here, you know, like she's one 127 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 2: of the loves of my life, you know, as I 128 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 2: know that I am of hers, And funnily enough, I 129 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 2: think this is what makes it so special. She's not 130 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: an artist first, she's not a musician first. She's a 131 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:20,240 Speaker 2: mom first. And that's why I'm such a fan of hers. 132 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 2: That's why I've been able to, you know, try to 133 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 2: be the musician that I am because at the forefront 134 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 2: of it all, she was a mother. 135 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 3: She was a mom, and that's a huge responsibility. 136 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,840 Speaker 2: That's the thing about fame, like, don't let it destroy 137 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 2: who you are as a person. Integrate it with who 138 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 2: you are. Yeah, let it let you shine, don't let 139 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 2: it destroy you. Because I've seen that a lot. So 140 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 2: you know, my parents, I know, I blow a lot 141 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 2: of smoke up there, but they deserve it for real, 142 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 2: because they really are incredible parents, even the moments when 143 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 2: they're too overbearing and they're annoying me, it's never anywhere 144 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,279 Speaker 2: but from a place of like love and yeah, exactly. 145 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 1: So that's beautiful. Yeah, I mean for me, because I 146 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: think my mom started getting famous when I was I 147 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: want to say, ten years old. 148 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 3: Wow. 149 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: So at first I was like, what's happening? You know 150 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: what I mean? I knew she had sang, but she 151 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: didn't start taking it seriously until like I was ten, 152 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 1: and I was like her number one fend. I don't 153 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: know if you guys remember those folders that had you know, 154 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: the little space in the front, like with the clear 155 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,239 Speaker 1: see the front. Yeah, And I would put my mom's 156 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: picture there, and I'd walk around with my folder at 157 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,640 Speaker 1: school and they'd be like, who's that, and you know 158 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: the kids at school, and I'd be like, well, that's 159 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: my mom. She's going to be famous one day, and 160 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: they would laugh at me. They would laugh, and I 161 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: was just like her number one friend. So I saw 162 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: it all before my eyes as she just grew. The 163 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: thing is the person that my mom was on stage, 164 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: she was the same person off stage, and for her 165 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: it was I'm a woman, I'm a mother before I 166 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: am an artist. So I totally get that. And for me, 167 00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: it was it doesn't matter who I am now that 168 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: we can move to a better place and stuff like that. 169 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: She was always very adamant about keeping all of us 170 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: on track, and she was a very strict mother, and 171 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 1: I'm so grateful And it's weird now, I guess. The 172 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: other day, I was at a show and they were 173 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: showing pictures of her, and I think that was one 174 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: of the moments like I hadn't felt in a long 175 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: time where I was like, dude, that's my mom. It 176 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 1: tripped me out and I was just like I started 177 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 1: getting all, you know, emotional, I'm a cancer something much 178 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 1: so so I was just like, oh my gosh, that's 179 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 1: my mom. And it blew my mind for like a second. 180 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: It's like it's not that I had forgotten, but I'm like, 181 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,000 Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's a beautiful thing. And I can't complain 182 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: because I learned so much and she's left me and 183 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: so many other women in the music industry a platform, 184 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: you know, shout out to her, to my mother up 185 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:50,199 Speaker 1: and having and I just sometimes and I think this 186 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: is something that I just realized very recently because of 187 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: the outside world for so long. I'm like, Okay, she 188 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: was my mother, my father, my my confident like everything, 189 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: and I kind of, yes, want to follow in her footsteps, 190 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: but I also want to be seen as me, you 191 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, I want to be given 192 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: the opportunity to like, hey, I'm not my mom, I'm me. 193 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 2: You know, to your point, I have to give you 194 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 2: credit where it's due. This is something that with me 195 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 2: and my brother is a big deal because my mom 196 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 2: broke her back, she had an accident, and my brother's 197 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:26,600 Speaker 2: in his forties and I'm twenty seven, and so in 198 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 2: between us, he lived in entirely different experience of my mom. 199 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 2: When he was born, my mom still, you know, hadn't 200 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 2: exploded in her career, nobody knew who she was, etc. 201 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 2: When I was born, she had broken her back, everybody 202 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 2: knew who she was, and I was this miracle baby 203 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 2: that just appeared out of nowhere, you. 204 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 3: Know, fifteen years after the right. 205 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,559 Speaker 2: And not only that, I look exactly like her, well 206 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 2: not exactly like her. I have my dad's big ass nose. 207 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 2: Shout out, Dad, thank you so much. Yello, Yella, Yello 208 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 2: Lebanon love you, but listen, I'm proud of my Arabic roots, 209 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 2: but I'm not one hundred percent Kuanam. There's some mutt 210 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 2: in there somewhere, some shit going on. But I was 211 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: born already with this kind of like. Everybody treats me 212 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,319 Speaker 2: nice respect. Nobody would dare make a joke that, oh, 213 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 2: your mom's gonna make it, Are you kidding me? They'd 214 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 2: probably treat me nicer than they should just because they 215 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 2: see my last name on a piece of paper, and 216 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 2: that has been hard for me too. But I give 217 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 2: my brother credit where is due, because that transitory period 218 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 2: for a child has to be really complicated. And I 219 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 2: know for a fact that I'm sure that your mom 220 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 2: up in heaven right now is thanking you for being 221 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 2: her confidant and her supporter. Because where we are coming from, 222 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 2: where we all come from so many different parts of 223 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 2: the world, people don't uplift and support us. 224 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 3: They try to bury us. 225 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 2: So oftentimes your child being your supporter is so big. 226 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 2: My mom, who has Grammys and she's in her sixties 227 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 2: to this day, if I tell her, oh, this sounds 228 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 2: kind of weird, she probably wouldn't be able to sleep 229 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 2: at night. 230 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 3: Merely because of that bond between mother and daughter. 231 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 2: So you probably just injected her with what she needed 232 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 2: to get to where she needed to go. So that's 233 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 2: a beautiful thing. I didn't do shit. I just arrived 234 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: and it was all taken care of money. 235 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: No, Yeah, And she would say it a lot because 236 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 1: we were so close in age, and I was the 237 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: one taking care of the kids and the household and everything, 238 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: and it was difficult, but I am so grateful the 239 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:22,679 Speaker 1: way I was raised. A couple of weeks ago, I 240 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: was doing a podcast with a medium and he told 241 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: me that subconsciously I was holding resentment, and I started 242 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,679 Speaker 1: thinking about that, and I thought, damn, I guess in 243 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: a way I have. I mean, obviously I love my mother. 244 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: I have so much more compassion for her now because 245 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:44,839 Speaker 1: I can see and I can feel, and I can 246 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: experience what she had gone through in her career. As 247 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: we know, it's not easy for women in the music industry, 248 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,199 Speaker 1: especially in our genre. So I have so much compassion 249 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,080 Speaker 1: for her. But in a way, I guess I was 250 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 1: kind of like holding some type of resentment of like, dude, 251 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: I respect do you as an artist for who you are? 252 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: And what you did, and I'm so like as a 253 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: daughter and everything, but it's been so much harder I 254 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: feel when it's not me complaining. I don't want to 255 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 1: sound like I'm complaining, guys, because the truth is it's 256 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 1: also had its perks, but it has been Why. 257 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 4: Don't you want to complain? 258 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 3: We feel you feel what it's like. It's like you 259 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 3: feel guilty. 260 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 5: That's not fair to you, though, because when I want 261 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 5: to bitch about my mom, I just bitch about my mom. 262 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 4: I don't ask for permission like this is your because my. 263 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: Mom's fans, girl are hardcore. 264 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 4: I don't mean like that. 265 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I don't mean it's not human. I have 266 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 5: a right to talk about your experience, and thank you. 267 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaker 5: We all, I think grow up to be more compassionate 268 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 5: towards our mothers. I know that's my experience. You know, 269 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 5: because my mom was also a single mom. Not five kids, 270 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,200 Speaker 5: that's wow, wow, kudos to your mom, but she was 271 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 5: two kids and also starting her career. 272 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 4: So and we were also very close to age. 273 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,679 Speaker 5: My mom had me when she was eighteen, so I 274 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 5: really feel that I feel like, you know, I had 275 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,479 Speaker 5: like some and I'm probably still working through it. Unidentified 276 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 5: res that met towards my mom because of my own things, 277 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 5: and it's okay. 278 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 1: Right, yeah, that's how I was, like, I'm gonna be 279 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: honest about it. This is how I feel. And sometimes 280 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,599 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily even with her. It's other people's opinions 281 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,960 Speaker 1: and their criticism and judgment, and it's just like, dude, 282 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 1: let me live my life, let me be me, let 283 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: me figure it out. But I've also learned that it's 284 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: a part of this. Did you ever feel that type 285 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 1: of pressure Emily, like, especially when you started singing, like. 286 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 2: I didn't sing. I tried to run the hell away 287 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 2: from it. It was the last thing I wanted to 288 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 2: do because in my case, like my parents wanted to sing. 289 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,840 Speaker 3: Sing that's all you want to do. I know your musical, 290 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 3: I know you're this, You're that. 291 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 2: She had me playing guitar on stage with her, and 292 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 2: I couldn't even look up at the crowd because I 293 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 2: wanted to vomit, and I would feel like, you know, 294 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 2: I want to do this, but also they're pushing me. 295 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 2: But also sometimes you need to push but also back off. 296 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: It's so complicated, and also I don't know, sometimes when 297 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 2: you have parents in the public eye. They can seem 298 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 2: to think, oh, you know, we know how to do this, 299 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 2: we know exactly how we did it and what works, 300 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 2: which absolutely what they did for them, one hundred percent works. 301 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 2: I would never take it away. But what I want 302 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,640 Speaker 2: to do for me is not going to be that. 303 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 2: And so sometimes there's that line of like, well, what 304 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 2: do you guys think is best? And what do I 305 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 2: think is best? Because that's where the true gold is. 306 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 2: When our parents were doing what they were doing, if 307 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 2: they fell on their face, they had to answer for themselves, 308 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 2: and there's value in that. You learn from that. If 309 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 2: I fall on my face and my mom and my 310 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: dad are there to pick me up with tongs, nah, 311 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 2: I'm not going to learn anything. So it's also about saying, look, 312 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:40,360 Speaker 2: this is my decision. 313 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,120 Speaker 3: I hear you. 314 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: However, let me fall on my face, Like everybody needs 315 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 2: a broken nose once in a while. Like I mentioned, 316 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 2: it's big enough already, but I'm serious though. Sometimes if 317 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 2: you love someone you have to kind of set thee 318 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 2: like let them fall and like let them do their thing. 319 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 2: And I mean that in the public sense and in 320 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 2: the family sense. However, we're in the public eye now 321 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 2: we have this screen and this division where you hide behind. 322 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 3: Who you really are. 323 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 2: So it's very easy to slander and judge, and honestly 324 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 2: a lot of that is insecurity, but it does hurt. 325 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 2: You can't pretend like it doesn't the same way that 326 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 2: Jem said, Oh why you feel bad about it? And 327 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 2: everybody's like, oh, so what somebody tells you one bad 328 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 2: thing online? I guarantee you you know, if somebody says 329 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 2: something really atrocious to you, that energy enters you and 330 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 2: you have to try or practice at least to divert it. 331 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 5: But your parents also, you know, their moment of celebrity 332 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 5: was in a very different time. Yes, you could choose 333 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 5: and pick what you listen to, what interview, from what 334 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 5: small publication or small amount of publications you read. Now, 335 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 5: you guys are exposed to thousands of opinions at a 336 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 5: moment's notice, whether you want it or not. And people 337 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,560 Speaker 5: are cruel when they can hide behind a screen and 338 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 5: a photo or an alternate name. So I have a 339 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 5: lot of respect. I have a lot of respect for y'all, 340 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 5: Billy I do. 341 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 3: I've a lot of respect for you for dating me. 342 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: So your parents definitely did support you then, in like 343 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: your music in my music. 344 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't want to be a musician. 345 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 2: I played basketball, but you know my five two stature, 346 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 2: I was too tall for everybody. 347 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 3: Else, so they didn't let me play. And then I 348 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 3: wanted to be a doctor. 349 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 2: What the hell was I thinking? Girl, I would not 350 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 2: have lasted and I have really shaky hands. But anyway, 351 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 2: which is funny because I play instruments, I guess it works. 352 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 3: But that gives me my edge. 353 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 2: But yeah, like in our last podcast, like I told 354 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 2: my mom, she asked me, She's like, do you ever 355 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 2: feel like I pressured you? And I was like, yes, However, 356 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 2: sometimes pressure makes a diamond. So as long as you 357 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 2: can talk about it and like acknowledge each other's feelings 358 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 2: and learn each other's boundaries, you know, then yeah, hell, yeah, 359 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 2: I don't regret anything. 360 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 3: You know, I'm singing, I'm creating. 361 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: It's awesome. 362 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 3: There's nothing else I can ask for. 363 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. I think my mom was just 364 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: when I told her I wanted to sing, she was 365 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 1: more like, Okay, I want to manage you because there 366 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: are so many sharks out there, you know what I mean, 367 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: And it's hard, it's hard for women. 368 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,479 Speaker 3: And she did what did you think of your talent? 369 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: She heard me sing once or twice, I think, so 370 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: she didn't really like, no if I knew how to 371 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: sing or not. But for her it was you just 372 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 1: go to classes and you'll figure it out, you know 373 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:24,880 Speaker 1: what I mean. 374 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 2: For me, a part of this process is that even 375 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 2: though I felt pushed by my mother, I felt like 376 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 2: the core of what she was doing was led by emotions, 377 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 2: you know. And I'm sorry if you never felt that 378 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 2: excitement of the joy of music, of talent from your mom, 379 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,440 Speaker 2: because that gift that you have, you know, I've heard 380 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 2: your stuff. I know what you do and it's awesome, 381 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 2: and so that not that she invalidated it in any way, 382 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,200 Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying. But if you didn't have 383 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,360 Speaker 2: enough time to share with her your gift, that would 384 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 2: probably be painful to me because the first people I 385 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 2: send my stuff to is my girlfriend and my mom. 386 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 3: So you know, I'm sorry to hear that. 387 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: Oh thank you for me that That's one thing I'm like, 388 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: how am I going to do this with without her 389 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 1: being here? Because she knew about it, and the idea 390 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: was we were going to have a band of all women. 391 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,959 Speaker 1: I was going to be the singer I wanted something 392 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: like Selena like you know that that I just had 393 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: this whole idea and she says, Okay, we'll get there. 394 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: You know, I'll manage you. This is not the career 395 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,199 Speaker 1: that I want for you. It is very difficult, but 396 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 1: I'll support you. I'll support you if that's what you want. Obviously, 397 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 1: you know what happened happened, and I said, I don't 398 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 1: want to live with the what if. But it was 399 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 1: very hard because I'm like, I wonder if my mom 400 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 1: would like it. I wonder how she would react, you know. 401 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 1: But to this day, I go on stage and I'm like, 402 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: Mom helped me, and I swear to you, I feel 403 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: like she does, you know. I feel like she sometimes, yeah, 404 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 1: walks me through it, you know. But I didn't want 405 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 1: to live with what if because of fear. I didn't 406 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: do it because of fear. And that's awesome. That's awesome 407 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: that you have a great relationship with your mother, with 408 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: your parents, and that you have their support. That's beautiful. 409 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:56,760 Speaker 1: And I feel like I do. I feel like, I 410 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: honestly feel in my heart I have her support. But 411 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: I do wish she would have heard my stuff. You 412 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 1: know of. 413 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 4: She's listening from wherever she is. 414 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 1: Definitely, yeah, absolutely, thank you so much. How do you 415 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: feel now? Do you feel like you're compared a lot 416 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 1: to your mom in any way? 417 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,160 Speaker 2: Like for sure, I used to bother the hell out 418 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 2: of me, but now I'm like fuck yeah. Like people 419 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 2: will be like, oh my god, your voices sound so 420 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:21,680 Speaker 2: like like my mom and my nephew who's ten and 421 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 2: I Jeeves Man are doing a Christmas album right now. 422 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,880 Speaker 2: It's coming out this Christmas, and he's ten years old 423 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 2: and he started singing recently, and there are parts of 424 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 2: the record where I'm like, who the hell is who? 425 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,400 Speaker 3: I cannot tell? 426 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 4: It's insane. 427 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 2: And at first that would bother me. I would be like, 428 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,679 Speaker 2: oh god, stop comparing me. I have my own sound. 429 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 2: But you know what people will say, like wow, what 430 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,120 Speaker 2: a family resemblance. But also you have your own thing, 431 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,240 Speaker 2: and like, as long as you have a talent and 432 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:50,239 Speaker 2: you love what you do, who cares who hears it? 433 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 3: In what way? 434 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: Like? 435 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 2: Is that really gonna stop you from doing what you 436 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,640 Speaker 2: want to do? You sound like your mom? Awesome, She's 437 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 2: an incredible singer who has Grammy's in a great career. 438 00:19:58,359 --> 00:19:59,159 Speaker 3: You think I sound like her. 439 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 2: Wow, okay, cool, like you know, like and if you 440 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 2: think that I don't, then cool. But it bothered me 441 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,760 Speaker 2: at first, but that's insecurity and you know, youth, which 442 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 2: I still battle with a lotah, which I feel like 443 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,640 Speaker 2: as a result of my experiences have kind of delayed 444 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 2: me a bit. But you know, it's me being candid 445 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 2: and I work through it every day. It really used 446 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 2: to irk me. It would bother me. Now I really 447 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,639 Speaker 2: put it in its place. And even even if someone's like, 448 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 2: oh my god, you sound just like your mom. 449 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 3: You know, I'll be like, okay, thank you. 450 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 2: And at first maybe it would have been sarcastically, but 451 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 2: now I'm fifty percent means thank you. 452 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 3: I love it. 453 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, only fifty only fifty yeah, honestly same. I feel 454 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,719 Speaker 1: like for a long time it did bother me, and 455 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 1: now I'm like, okay. Or they would tell me mama 456 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: and I'm like maki ito, or I do like that's 457 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: my mom right, Like I'm like, who do you want 458 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 1: me to like look like or act like like? Until 459 00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,239 Speaker 1: it just something clicked and I said thank you, thank you. 460 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,479 Speaker 1: If I sound like her, if I look like her 461 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 1: on stage, if I do certain things I'm like, who 462 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 1: do you want me to look like? You know what 463 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 1: I mean? Like, now I respond that way watching her 464 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,680 Speaker 1: dance and exactly. 465 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 3: Thank god it looked like Mama, she was hot. 466 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, that's exactly what I said. I'm like, well, 467 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,840 Speaker 1: thank you, and that's exactly what you said. It was 468 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: like it was insecurity and it was lack of maturity, 469 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: and now it's like I celebrate that shit and I'm like, thanks, 470 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: I appreciate it. How old were you when you came 471 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:30,240 Speaker 1: out to your family, Emily. 472 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 3: Each other? 473 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 2: Well, it's tough because I wish the coming out was 474 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,360 Speaker 2: in a thing. I don't really believe in coming out, 475 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 2: not in a shady way, like I think that if 476 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 2: you it's a valid thing that we needed to make, 477 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 2: you know, a parent. But people don't come out as straight. 478 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,920 Speaker 2: You love who you love, You say, hey I love 479 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 2: this person, you want to meet them, blah blah blah. 480 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,400 Speaker 2: So for me, truly from my heart, which a lot 481 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,840 Speaker 2: of people don't believe, I was just excited to share. Oh, 482 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,800 Speaker 2: I I really fell in love with this girl because 483 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 2: I had relationships before that, you know, for many years, 484 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 2: but not relationships you know, like learning, experimenting, and just 485 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,639 Speaker 2: having flings here and there. And when I fell in 486 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,639 Speaker 2: love with Jem, it wasn't about coming out for me, 487 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,960 Speaker 2: it was about this is my person, you know what 488 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,680 Speaker 2: I mean? Because for me it was my family's my family, 489 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 2: and I can date around and I can have my life. 490 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 2: But the moment that I want to integrate that person 491 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 2: into my entire life, you know, that's a big step. 492 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 2: And I want them to know that I'm in love 493 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 2: and that I'm happy and that this is the person 494 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 2: that I love. So I was like experimenting with women 495 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 2: since I was way younger, but I came out I 496 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,840 Speaker 2: was in my twenties. I was what twenty one, twenty two, 497 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 2: you know, like came out quote unquote, Aka, hey mom, 498 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 2: I'm in love with this girl just happens to have boobs. 499 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,320 Speaker 3: You know, they're great, by the. 500 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: Way, but I think it's just beautiful. 501 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 3: Okay, especially there's enough to go around. 502 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 2: But she's a woman. 503 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 3: You can do whatever she wants. 504 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,399 Speaker 2: But I call her boobs of people's boobs because yeah, anyway, 505 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 2: she's gonna put me on blast. 506 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,360 Speaker 3: But actually Jackie cru said that. Shout out Jackie Kres. 507 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 3: Yeah love her. 508 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 2: But anyway, you see now I'm distracted because I'm thinking 509 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 2: about boobs, you see, because I'm doing. 510 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 3: What cheeky? What do you do? 511 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 1: Okay? 512 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,920 Speaker 2: So yeah, so it wasn't about coming out. I'm backgirl, Wow, 513 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 2: thank you. It wasn't about coming out for me. It 514 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 2: was about sharing. It didn't go exactly how I planned, however, 515 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,639 Speaker 2: it never does. That's family. That's why we can't be fake. 516 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,679 Speaker 2: And that's why I love what you said about your 517 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 2: mom and why Jem validated that for you, because that's life. Like, 518 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 2: stop pretending just because you're a celebrity. Yes, have your privacy. 519 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,199 Speaker 2: I don't need to see you pick your boogers and 520 00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 2: every single meal you eat on Instagram. 521 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 3: I mean, do you want to do? Privacy is privacy? 522 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 2: However, share and say you know what, celebrities are not 523 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 2: this perfect cookie cutter. Everything's great, everything's perfect. All our 524 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 2: families are amazing. No, we have miscommunications, we have pains. 525 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,639 Speaker 2: We have generational differences, especially in Latin communities, you know 526 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,439 Speaker 2: what I mean, Like it's such a difference of opinion 527 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 2: sometimes and such a passionate love. You know, I always 528 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 2: thought it was so funny that I go off to college. 529 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 2: I'm talking about I'm facetiming my grandma every day, and 530 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,159 Speaker 2: people are like, oh, I haven't seen my grandma in 531 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 2: ten years, and I'm like, okay. But at the same time, 532 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 2: they have no relationship with their family. They're like, Oh, 533 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:35,439 Speaker 2: it's so weird that you're talking to your grandma all 534 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 2: the time. I'm like, I think it's weird that you 535 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,879 Speaker 2: don't have your tribe, that you don't write exactly, you know, 536 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 2: And so anyway, for me, yes, difficult. That's the human experience. 537 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 2: That's the point. Coming out is never easy. It's always 538 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 2: harder to be gay, unfortunately because of the world that 539 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 2: we live in, just like it's harder to be right, 540 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 2: but it's harder to be a woman. It's harder to 541 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:57,120 Speaker 2: be an African American? 542 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? Forget it. 543 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: You have to acknowledge these things because if not, you're 544 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 2: just making the problem worse. There are certain avenues that 545 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,440 Speaker 2: are just harder what we need to work towards. 546 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,400 Speaker 1: For them not to be And it's better now. I'm 547 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 1: assuming right, your family loves her and vice versa. 548 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,440 Speaker 5: Oh my god, my family adores Emily. So I came 549 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 5: out earlier than Emily did. I was actually outed. I 550 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 5: did not come to that moment of like, I want 551 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:22,880 Speaker 5: to share this with my family. 552 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 4: My dad read my text messages and they were very racy. 553 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:32,080 Speaker 5: And there was no hiding behind or trying to reinterpret 554 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 5: what the messages said. And one day I came home 555 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 5: from high school. At that time, we had bunk beds 556 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 5: that were like taking apart, so it was, you know, 557 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 5: one bunk bed. 558 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 4: At either side of my dad's like, I want to 559 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 4: talk to you. My dad's so scary. 560 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, dad, fourteen, he says, on one I 561 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 5: said on the other cross for me, he literally just goes, 562 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 5: I know you like girls. Because I had not even 563 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 5: had that entire internal dialogue with myself. Yeah, I was 564 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 5: still coming from the world where being gay was bad, 565 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 5: so I hadn't even accepted my own feelings for this 566 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,320 Speaker 5: person that were super real, and it was not good. 567 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 4: It was not good. My parents pulled me out of school. 568 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,200 Speaker 5: They tried to take me to another school that obviously 569 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 5: didn't work because I grew up with cell phones. So 570 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,359 Speaker 5: I found a way, and you can't change me for 571 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 5: who I am. 572 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 4: But yeah, it was different. 573 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 5: But my grandfather and my grandmother are the greatest people 574 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 5: in my life. They're so incredible and like, I hope 575 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:25,959 Speaker 5: to take after them when I'm older, because they're so 576 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 5: accepting and respectful of whatever that goes on around me 577 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,920 Speaker 5: as long as it's good. And they're so in love 578 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 5: with them, not more than I am, Mom, everybody, she's 579 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 5: really lovable. 580 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,440 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm sure, as you've learned in the last. 581 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,320 Speaker 1: Together, how can you not like her? 582 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? 583 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 4: I know it's not possible. 584 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 2: Good luck, She'll find a way telling you just wait, 585 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:48,600 Speaker 2: got tricks must leave? 586 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 3: Make you hate me? 587 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,879 Speaker 1: Oh, you guys are so damn cute together, I swear. 588 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 1: I was curious because I don't know if I've even 589 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 1: talked about this on the podcast, but I definitely have 590 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:01,360 Speaker 1: in my books. 591 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 3: I had a. 592 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,360 Speaker 1: Relationship with a girl for like a year, I want 593 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,560 Speaker 1: to say. I was twenty three, and my mom also 594 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 1: went snooping into my stuff and she found a letter 595 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 1: that she had written me and in my house. My 596 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 1: mom was more of a religious woman, and she was 597 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: very traditional because of her parents, which I totally respect 598 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 1: and I don't judge, but she was tough. She read 599 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,840 Speaker 1: it and she was like, if you don't end this 600 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: relationship with this girl, you lose all benefits as my daughter, 601 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: and you'll have to move out. And it was a 602 00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 1: very because I really felt like because I was sexually 603 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 1: abused right by my dad. So for a long time 604 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 1: I had this weird relationship with guys. I was like, 605 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:40,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to be pressured to have sex. All 606 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,399 Speaker 1: guys want is sex, you know. And I met this 607 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: girl and it was like this crazy ass connection of yeah, 608 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 1: which is emotional, got each other. Yeah, and it was 609 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 1: like a mental She mentally stimulated my mind. Yeah, in 610 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: my life and you know, you know, it's like another thing, yeah. 611 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 4: Another thing. 612 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: But I was just like, this is different. Final. Someone 613 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: loves me for me and they don't just want to 614 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: put it in me, you know. So it was a 615 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: beautiful thing. And I had to let go of that 616 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: relationship because all I knew was my mom, you know. 617 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 1: And now we're good friends, you know, her and I, 618 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 1: but it was something my mom was just not okay with. 619 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:18,879 Speaker 1: And I don't know, God sawzas you know. And this 620 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: is with my brother Johnny. When he came out, I 621 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: was completely supportive because of the experience that I had, 622 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 1: you know, and he was fifteen, I think when he said, hey, 623 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: because he says that he likes women and men, you 624 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,400 Speaker 1: know what I mean. And for a long time, I'll 625 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: be honest, I didn't understand it. I said, well, what 626 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,520 Speaker 1: do you mean, like you have to be either or? 627 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 1: And he was like no, yeah, Like I was like, 628 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: you have to pick because I picked, you know, after 629 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 1: my mom said, I was like, okay, why I just 630 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 1: have to be with boys? But when I told him that, 631 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: he opened up my horizons so much where he's like, no, 632 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,200 Speaker 1: it's a soul connection and if it's a girl, then 633 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:54,880 Speaker 1: it's a girl. If it's a boy, it's a boy. 634 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,760 Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh shit. He totally just changed my perspective. 635 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 2: By the way, it's not not even that black and 636 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,959 Speaker 2: white Cheeky's like, you don't understand how valuable you being 637 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 2: so open and honest about your experience is, even for 638 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,840 Speaker 2: just like the queer community, in any community, because what 639 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,640 Speaker 2: I really believe is like Gem and I have conversations 640 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,200 Speaker 2: all the time. I hope you don't mind I'm sharing this, 641 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 2: but what we've talked about it before, like Gem is 642 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,200 Speaker 2: a gold star. 643 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 3: You know, she's never been with a man, right, and 644 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,480 Speaker 3: me who looks. 645 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 2: Like somebody who would be the opposite, like, you know, 646 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 2: like the gayest person or whatever. I've had experiences with men, 647 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,080 Speaker 2: experiences with women, and I tell gem all the time, Oh, 648 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 2: I fall in love with the soul. If I love 649 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 2: your soul, if I fall in love with you intellectually, 650 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 2: I will want to bone you. I will enjoy it. 651 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 2: I will love it. If you made me feel love support. 652 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 2: That's really how I feel. Some people are not like that. 653 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,040 Speaker 3: I get that. However, I feel like a lot of 654 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 3: that is stigma. 655 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people would be more 656 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 2: open to sexual experiences. 657 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,640 Speaker 3: You may not like it, you may be like, you. 658 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 2: Know what, I actually prefer this kind of sex or 659 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 2: this kind of sexer. That's sure, whatever, But until you 660 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 2: explore it, as long as you don't feel like it's wrong, 661 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 2: Jim said, Oh, I still felt like it was wrong. 662 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 2: As a queer person, you go through this moment of 663 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,800 Speaker 2: I feel so good, but it feels so wrong. 664 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 3: Why. 665 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 2: Yes, there's no reason when you're having this connection with 666 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 2: a woman, and it's this connection that you're saying, because, 667 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,960 Speaker 2: by the way, there's a reason for that. I mean, 668 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 2: there's a reason for everything, and it's all spirituality. But 669 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 2: also we are biological beings, and that's why we're reproducing, 670 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 2: and we're on this biological planet and we are just 671 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 2: as much spiritual as we are tangible, whether it's a 672 00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 2: video game or not. 673 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 3: Please let me know whoever's out there. 674 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 2: But anyway, like this physical experience is something that we 675 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 2: have to keep in two different planes, you know what 676 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 2: I mean. 677 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 3: So it's up to you. It's up to what you 678 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 3: want to explore it. But don't let anybody else make 679 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 3: you feel bad. 680 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 2: I dream of a world where my child comes up 681 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 2: to me and says, huh, a guy asked me on 682 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 2: a date. 683 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 3: Maybe he's a guy. 684 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 2: You know, I really don't think I'm gay, but maybe 685 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,600 Speaker 2: all you know, see what happens. Maybe I'm over to it, 686 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,440 Speaker 2: and he might come home to me and be like, 687 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 2: you know what, Mom, I am not gay. 688 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 3: I really did not like that, right, you know. 689 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 2: And maybe you're securing yourself and you know, but we 690 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 2: are stifling our exploration as a result of this, you know, 691 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 2: generational which they got from somebody else as well. I'm 692 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 2: sure when your mom was giving you that insight, it wasn't. 693 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:24,040 Speaker 3: Even her own opinion. 694 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,520 Speaker 2: It comes from something that she thinks is right or wrong, 695 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 2: which is why, like Jem says, all the time, you 696 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 2: got to give people compassion and write them a past 697 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,640 Speaker 2: because a lot of times when people are exemplifying those opinions, 698 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 2: it has zero to do with who they actually are, 699 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 2: but who they are trying to find within themselves who 700 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 2: they actually are. The journey to them finding themselves make 701 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 2: them be like that. But anyway, now I went on 702 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 2: a whole tangent. 703 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: I love it. I love it, And now that we're 704 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 1: on this topic, I mean, I'm sure there are people 705 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 1: listening that don't know how to tell their family and friends, Hey, 706 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 1: this is how I feel because of judgment or religion. 707 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: Do you guys have advice for them? 708 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 5: Sometimes it's really hard because you don't know how people 709 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 5: are going to react. I know that Emily can sit 710 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 5: here and tell you that she expected her family to 711 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 5: react very differently than they actually did. So you can say, 712 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 5: try to find the person that you feel closest to. 713 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 5: But it's always a gamble. 714 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:23,440 Speaker 4: You know. 715 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 5: My mom and my dad are very supportive of my life, 716 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 5: and my mom growing up, had gay best friends that 717 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,960 Speaker 5: she traveled all of Europe with. But when I came 718 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 5: out being her daughter, you know, it's different when it's 719 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 5: in your home, and I think that it came from fear. 720 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:39,840 Speaker 5: You know, she was afraid that I'd have a more 721 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 5: difficult life. She was afraid of what people would say, 722 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 5: what people would think. But I would have never expected 723 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 5: her to react in some of the ways that she did. 724 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:49,959 Speaker 5: I'm sure she wouldn't even have expected it. 725 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,120 Speaker 4: So it's hard. 726 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 5: It's hard to say, find somebody that you feel comfortable 727 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,720 Speaker 5: with because you never know who it is. I would 728 00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 5: say try even closer in your community. If you're a 729 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 5: young person, maybe it's somebody at your school who you 730 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 5: feel like is going through a similar experience. Or maybe 731 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 5: it's finding a resource online, people who are actually trained 732 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,719 Speaker 5: professionals in this area to help you get to it. 733 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 5: Maybe it's as simple as you know, I want to 734 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 5: tell my mom, Hey mom, I want to talk to 735 00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,880 Speaker 5: you about something. Maybe we can, you know, go see 736 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 5: my school counselor and talk about it with somebody there. 737 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 5: Maybe it's find an advocate that you know you feel 738 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 5: comfortable with to help mediate the conversation. 739 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 3: It's not easy. 740 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 5: I can't tell anyone really truly, what's the best way 741 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,040 Speaker 5: to do it. The only thing I can say is. 742 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 5: Don't feel pressure to say it before you actually are. Yes, 743 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,800 Speaker 5: take your time with yourself, exploring yourself, discovering yourself. We're 744 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,760 Speaker 5: the only people who wake up and go to sleep 745 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 5: in our bodies every single day. We owe it to 746 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,440 Speaker 5: ourselves to seek that peace and to live our truths 747 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:47,959 Speaker 5: daily and take our time doing so. 748 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 3: Go baby. 749 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Emily, I was gonna tell you. I 750 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:58,520 Speaker 1: was like, dude, I get it. She stimulates you intellectually, I. 751 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 3: Can tell, relates me all over. 752 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: All over has nice loops apparently, guys, so I don't know, 753 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: you can't say them right now. Gem I'm so sorry. 754 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,080 Speaker 3: That's jem on OnlyFans right after this episode. 755 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:20,319 Speaker 1: Sorry, oh my god, you guys are freaking amazing. Thank you. 756 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 1: I have really enjoyed this conversation. It feels nice to 757 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,799 Speaker 1: just let it all out, you know what I mean, Like, 758 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: just be honest and hopefully this isn't the last episode 759 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:31,640 Speaker 1: that we do together, and maybe I can come on 760 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: your podcast or something and talk about something I don't know. 761 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,919 Speaker 5: No, No, your invitation is your invitation, and we will 762 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 5: get you here or we will wait for when you're 763 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 5: here either or we will happily get here you'll sit 764 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:44,479 Speaker 5: on this cast. 765 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 3: Only one thing though, Okay, tell got to wear the jumpsuit. 766 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's a safe Oh got you gotcha? Heck yeah, 767 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 1: I love that. And for my listeners, can you tell 768 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 1: them about your podcast In Our Own World? Please? 769 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,640 Speaker 5: So In our Own World is sort of you might 770 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,439 Speaker 5: have got a glimpse of here while we were talking 771 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 5: with you, Cheeky's. 772 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:04,280 Speaker 4: It's Emily and I's world. 773 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 5: The things that we encounter, the things that are important 774 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:11,080 Speaker 5: to us, retelling some of our life story, sharing experiences 775 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 5: that we've had, doing it together, and inviting other people 776 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,600 Speaker 5: to join us along the way, all the while making 777 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,000 Speaker 5: a space themed because you know. 778 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 2: We feel like we're aliens, so why not freak like 779 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,000 Speaker 2: and we are waiting for you with open arms. 780 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:29,120 Speaker 1: O thank you, I love it? No, thank you? Guys. 781 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,879 Speaker 1: Did you guys already share your socials? Oh no, so sorry, 782 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: we're so bad at that. 783 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:33,399 Speaker 3: I know we're just. 784 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,360 Speaker 2: Connection all right, So we're bad at plugging social But 785 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 2: if you want to see our weirdness, my instagram is 786 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 2: Emily underscore Stefan. Our podcast is In Our Own World 787 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 2: Pod p O D and jem is at olat Geminy 788 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,239 Speaker 2: and everybody, go listen to Cheeky's. She's killing it out there. 789 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:54,680 Speaker 2: Please big up for Cheeky's. We love you, We're big 790 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 2: fans and we love to be part of this family 791 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,640 Speaker 2: with you. So thank you for inviting us on. 792 00:35:57,719 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Thank you Emily, thank you jem 793 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 1: I feel some connection here, so thank you guys. There 794 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 1: you have it to all my listeners, go follow them, 795 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 1: check out their podcast. And also, you guys, we have 796 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:12,040 Speaker 1: Dear Cheeky's on Wednesdays, so make sure you check those out. 797 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,759 Speaker 1: And before we close, you know that I always end 798 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 1: my episodes with a motivational quote, and I'm just gonna 799 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 1: use a very simple one. The quote is the world 800 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: is tough, but thank God I am tougher. There you 801 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: have it, you guys, Thank you so much again, beautiful ladies, 802 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,040 Speaker 1: thank you for being on the podcast. Thank you to 803 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 1: everyone that's listening. I will catch you next Monday or 804 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 1: Wednesday's Best Sosa Tholos. Do you need advice on love, relationships, 805 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:51,239 Speaker 1: health emails? I'm so excited to share with you that 806 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 1: my Cheekys and Chill podcast will have an extra episode 807 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,719 Speaker 1: drop each week. I'll be answering all your questions. 808 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:02,280 Speaker 6: Just leave me a voice message that's e jot person 809 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,239 Speaker 6: A Menday. All you have to do is go to 810 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 6: speak pipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill podcasts and 811 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 6: record your questions. 812 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:14,640 Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear from you. This is a 813 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 1: production of iHeartRadio and the Micudura podcast Network. Follow us 814 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Miculdura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's 815 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,560 Speaker 1: c h i q u i s. For more podcasts 816 00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,840 Speaker 1: from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 817 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite podcasts.