WEBVTT - Christmas in Forest 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:07.360 Hey there from my Heart Radio. This is Autisma's first child. However, 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:10.720 I'm neither John don Van nor Karen Zuker. My name 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:13.000 is Alexander Richie and I'm one of the producers on 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:16.880 the show and today I'll be grabbing the reins. So 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:25.000 episode six, Christmas and Forest. Back in December, Karen managed 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:27.479 to score some invites to the Bank of Forest holiday 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.520 shin dig The Bank of Forest is still part owned 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:33.760 by Donald Triplet's family, and throughout the production of this show, 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.080 I've been really immersed in the history of Forest and 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:39.199 learning about Donald's life. I really have come to you 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:43.680 Donald as like a notable historical figure. I mean, how 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:45.760 often do you meet someone from a small southern town 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:49.239 important enough to have a Wikipedia page about them. So 0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:51.560 I jumped to the opportunity to go to the place 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.080 and meet Donald. It spend a few days with John 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:59.440 and Kieren. While John and Karen flew into Jackson from 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:01.440 the East Coast, I drove down to Forest from my 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:04.479 place in Birmingham, Alabama. It's about a three hour trip 0:01:05.160 --> 0:01:07.480 and I always feel like I'm driving down to Mississippi, 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:10.800 coming down the foothills of Appalache down to the farmland 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:16.959 and sometimes down into another era. Central Mississippi is pretty 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:21.320 flat and the right is sort of hypnotic. In working 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.000 on this story, I got lost in the thirty foot few, 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:27.240 starting from Dr Lee O'Connor's paper from all those years 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.039 ago that described the puzzling behavior as this little boy 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:35.640 from Forest, Mississippi, Donald t While Donald has lived what 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:38.360 is by any standard, a really good life, a full 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:42.560 blown neurodiversity movement Capital MP has taken shape. People on 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:44.720 the autism spectrum can now share the same sort of 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:48.200 dignity and independence that is Donald's day to day reality. 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.280 I had so many questions about Donald's life as a reporter. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.160 I want to get below the surface of things and 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:59.400 understand how people experience the world. I've learned so much 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:02.560 about Donald in Forest for making this podcast, but had 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.720 little sense of his inner life. Maybe I don't get it, 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:10.839 but I wondered if he ever feels lonely or isolated? 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:15.040 Did being on the spectrum influence those feelings? What would 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.040 it be like seeing him with his friends and neighbors. 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.200 I felt really lucky to have this opportunity to peek 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:22.760 in the Donald's life with John and Karen. If anybody 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:26.119 can help me make sense of it. They can. Three 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:30.280 hours later, I found myself in Forest. All right, Okay, 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:35.320 So I'm in uh do down Forest, Mississippi, right outside 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:38.080 the the Bank of Forest, and I'm just gonna grab 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:42.440 some sounds. But has that classic southern small town thing 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.240 going on. The architecture just kind of takes you back 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.200 to another time. There's a town square with a courthouse 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:50.440 in the middle, and all the buildings situated around it 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.840 or low and boxing and brick, and the storefronts all 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:57.880 have signs with that cool old typography. Square body pickup 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.840 trucks are driving around, and people are and ironically wearing 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:04.120 nineties fashions, and just like the rest of Mississippi, the 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:08.120 place is covered in a sort of beige pattina. It's 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:13.280 just beautiful now. Forest calls itself the Poultry capital of 0:03:13.280 --> 0:03:16.640 the World, and I myself grew up in a poultry 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:20.040 town in North Alabama, and driving in from the interstate, 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:23.919 I recognized that earthy tang lingering in the air. I 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:32.359 knew I was in the right place. Karen and John 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:34.760 have a big weekend planned down here. Not only are 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:37.000 we going to the Christmas party with Donald, but we're 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:40.040 going to check out Beamon and Mary Triplett's house. Donald 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.720 just moved out after like eighty seven years of living there, 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:45.120 So one of the first things we're gonna do is 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:50.040 drop in on Donald check out his new digs. His 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.360 younger brother Oliver lived here alone right up until the 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:56.320 end of his life. After Oliver died, Don's nephew also Oliver, 0:03:56.760 --> 0:04:00.200 fixed up the place, making it basically handicap accessible, just 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:04.520 in case. Then Donald took it over. We're back at 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.480 Donald's hows and we're gonna go and say hi to him. 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:10.840 That was John recorded the moment of seeing the new 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:14.920 place for the first time on a spell. The door 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:26.320 opens and there's done. Oh, Karen just lights up when 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.320 she sees you. He's small and stooped, and it looks 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:33.600 every inch of his eighty eight years. Yeah. I love 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:39.760 that tie. Yeah. Yeah, he's wearing a green blazer and 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:45.560 a huge funny Christmas time there. Yeah yeah, Donald was 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.479 gonna meet you. Good to meet you. Yeah, I love 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:54.360 your tie. That's awesome. Nice. Donald gave us the whole tour. 0:04:54.760 --> 0:04:58.320 I liked him immediately. It's just impossible not to. He's 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:02.120 this incredibly sweet man and he's got a really particular 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.560 kind of way he walks. It's well, well, i'll let 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:13.160 you listen. So with Donald as a docent, we start 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:22.800 the tour. If I come in, yeah, we're gone, done 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:29.320 a quick tour, and then this is the kitchen. This 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:36.719 is the kitchen. Okay, that's why I'm a Christians. Pretty ash. 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:42.280 So you guts some presents under there? They're old photos. 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:44.560 Everywhere has zeroed in on wine, in particular in a 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:47.120 glass china cabinet looking thing of Donald and a woman 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:51.240 in a wedding dress. Who is this? Oh, I's a 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:56.480 good friend of mine. She got married on me. But 0:05:56.640 --> 0:05:59.440 I went to Wold winning and I got that picture 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:05.200 made nice. Down the hallway, the walls are covered in 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:07.800 more old photos and plaque with a triplet family coat 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:12.520 of arms, and of course some golf trips. I think 0:06:12.560 --> 0:06:21.880 it Bill Hayden. Yeah, Aborn University. Where's that tanjection in 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.960 the pro Terran church? Uh? Yeah, I'm with my middle 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:32.560 chips college degree in my LAMB Alpha fraternity. Typically how 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:38.039 long have you been here since trying the eighth of September? Okay, 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:41.200 you're still getting used to it. Huh yeah, I'm just 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:44.240 proought to get a used to it. The land, Yeah, 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:48.839 getting the l It's very nice. Donald's new place is 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.120 a smaller ranch style home that more or less blends 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:53.440 in with the other ones in the neighborhood. It's nice, 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:57.200 freshly painted, manicured lawn and a driveway that was definitely 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:01.240 pressure washed not too long ago. On the tour, Don 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.480 leads us to his office, or, as he calls it, 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:08.800 the place where he keeps his monitor in printing my 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:15.559 computer and model Knight here, Oh, very cool, and right here, 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:19.200 which we're not going to bed. Then he shows me 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:23.720 the outfit he has picked out for time or not 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:28.120 let me see, and his impressive collection of necktie's that's 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:32.920 pretty sharp. Yeah. In his office there's a big bookshelf, 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.840 and there's John and Karen's book in a different key, 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:38.800 prominently display it on the pedestal on the top shelf. 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.480 You got a book out there? Whose book is that? 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:49.640 He deferent? That's why I keep book about shooting you 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.520 and John? Wow, it's about you, actually, yeah, actually about me. 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:57.840 It's a beautiful moment. I could tell John was so 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:01.840 proud he wore this ultra high wattage smile. How does 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:07.800 that feel? Seeing book and with with with Donald's circles complete. Wow, 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:14.600 this is a beautiful picture. Oh yeah. We left Don 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:16.880 alone after not too long. He wanted to watch the 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.080 Army Navy football game on TV. Then we went over 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:23.240 to Marry and Beamon Triplet's old house. It's pretty Faulkner 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:27.119 esque pastel yellow and blue and real pretty soft pink. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.679 For decades, the house was famous for Mary triplets garden. 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:34.040 She had some award winning flower beds. Now that's all gone. 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.600 The roof and the portrait saggy. Now inside it smelled 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:43.520 old and a little musty, so his just the old 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:47.440 sears and rope book. The house is still filled with 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:50.920 old furniture. You can just tell the place was gorgeous 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:54.040 back in the day. After his mind died, Don stayed 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:56.319 here on his own, and he really didn't touch a thing. 0:08:57.160 --> 0:08:59.520 When Don moved out in September, he just kind of 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.720 up and left left. There's even still some pretzels and 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.200 cheesy poots and a little container on the breakfast table 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:09.200 in the kitchen. After his mom died, Donald was left 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:12.080 here alone. He shut it off, the rooms he didn't 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:16.000 care about, and he basically created a an apartment within 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:19.000 the house, two rooms away from his bedroom. There's some 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:22.280 black mold spread across the wall, but that's part of 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:25.400 the house that he effectively abandoned. He didn't visit it, 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:28.200 didn't furnish it, didn't eat it. The place did not 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:31.840 deteriorate all at once. It happened over time. Donald's family 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:33.480 for years tried to get him to leave the house 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:37.240 behind and find someplace new. But Donald's day his choice. 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:39.240 He didn't want to spend money to keep the place 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:42.360 up either. Also his choice. He is an adult, he 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:46.600 does not have a guardian given his priorities. It was 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:51.199 a rational choice. This was his home and he wanted 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:55.200 to be there on his terms. I mean Donald lived 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:57.520 in the same bedroom he grew up in until he 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:02.840 was eight seven. That blows my mind. Johnny Care reminds 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:07.160 me that this devout adherents, sameness, and the routine are 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:10.600 all hallmarks of autism from the very beginning and even today. 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.600 In the official definition that that people on the spectrum 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:18.199 really like sameness, they like predictability. There there they struggle 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:23.520 with change, and the textbook says they have restricted repetitive 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:27.120 pattern patterns of behavior or interests or activities, including this 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:31.760 insistence on sameness or sometimes inflexible adherence to routine or 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.520 ritualized patterns. It's not everybody, but it's a lot of 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:36.640 people on the spectrum. Definitely true of Donald in a 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.800 lot of ways. He totally has his routines. He gets 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:41.800 up every day and he goes for a walk at 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:44.839 the same time. He needs to be at work right 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:48.440 on time. He watches Will of Fortune at four o'clock. 0:10:48.880 --> 0:10:51.400 And in fact, when my son Mickey and all met, 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:53.400 the two of them sat down to watch Will of 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:58.560 Fortune together because they both love that show. And this 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:02.920 repetitiveness and amenus it is often really comforting to people 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:07.800 on the autism spectrum. Anyway, back of the house, we're 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.719 up in the attic. Now. We've been warned that the 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:15.200 attic floor isn't super sturdy, are you We're not seriously 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:22.000 afraid that it's gonna fall though, right, yeah, I don't 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:25.400 feel like it's that bad. There is a little crooked 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.240 and then there's this thing here. Donald gave us okay 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.320 to go up there anyway and look for a carbon 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:34.560 copy of Mr Beaman's letter to Dr Connor. We started 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:37.600 referring to it simply as the Connor letter, and it's 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:40.160 been the great white whale of John and Karen's research 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:44.280 over the years. Maybe it's up here, it's somewhere, good 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:48.400 size addict, dude, this would be like where you would 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.960 definitely have band rehearsal, you know. Yeah, and there's stuff everywhere. 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:55.840 I mean it's jam packed with stuff, old Christmas decorations, 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.360 old golf clubs, even Beaman and Mary's traveling trunk, like 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:03.920 a real traveling trunk, suitcases full of letters and stuff. Okay, 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:06.959 John and Karen start looking around. This plays out like 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:13.679 any investigative journalists fever dream come to line. Sorry, just 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:17.080 having like this thing like some animals gonna come up. 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.800 Truth is, though they haven't been through everything up here. 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:24.320 I mean there are boxes and boxes and stuff and 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:28.440 suitcases packed with all sorts of papers. We were upstairs 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:31.240 for like three minutes and John's already finding stuff they've 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:34.640 never seen before. And then he discovers a batch of 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:37.920 photos from letters and postcards in this very grand old trunk. 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:44.360 Oh that's when she was in Venice. So this looks 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:50.920 like a traveling mhm. Nice fans. Yeah, you know these 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:54.840 were letters that the triplets Donald's parents received when they 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.960 were traveling around the world. I guess they did a 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:01.120 lot of this fun. A few us later, John runs 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.520 into stacks of love letters dating back a hundred years 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:08.200 to win Beamon and Mary recording, but still no Connor letter. 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.840 Brush the dust off. It's time for a break. But 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.120 after the jump, I've goked some questions about love and 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:30.920 friendship on the spectrum. So the attic at Don's house 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.560 held up and we managed to climb back down. Thank god. 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:36.680 I went back to my hotel and got gussied up 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:39.840 for the Bank Afforce Christmas party. And along the way 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:41.600 I thought that they look like Tut and Scoot to 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:47.240 do a little pre game man pick out. Yeah, can 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:52.800 I get a's like a small cute flow? Yes, mate, 0:13:53.760 --> 0:14:00.320 that would be it. The love letters we found got 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:04.040 me wondering about Don's life. You still these photos in 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.400 his house, and it becomes really clear that he's a 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:10.240 person who seeks out connection and values friendship. But Don 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.560 has never been married, and he's never really had a 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.839 girlfriend either. Karen told me that there was a woman 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.600 that he was really attracted to you, but things never 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:22.320 really worked out. Remember how we talked about people with 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:26.440 autism being misunderstood in a previous episode. How does that 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:30.640 work with courtship, rituals, attraction, flirting, all that stuff that 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.720 isn't really set out loud. I asked John and Karen 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:36.040 about that. You know, you look at it this way, 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:38.320 and it's something that I've heard from a lot of 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:41.720 autistic people who have told me about their experiences dating, etcetera. 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.520 You talk about the language of love. It's not all words, 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:48.720 and spoken language can already be a challenge for people 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.200 in the spectrum who don't get often things like sarcasm 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:55.080 or innuendo. But the language of love, a lot of 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.360 it has nothing to do with words. It's a glance, 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:01.520 it's a raised eyebrow, it perhaps the way you move 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:05.280 your body. These are all very very social, subtle signals 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.280 that were you know, most of us instinctively kind of 0:15:08.320 --> 0:15:10.160 pick up on over time and we learn how to 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:12.560 speak that language. But it's far more challenging for people 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.320 on the spectrum. You know, But just think of a 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:17.240 thing like eye contact. You know, when two people meet, 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:20.240 as they say, their eyes lock. But what if you're 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:22.880 a somebody who doesn't know when to look away. What 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:26.080 if you stare too long? That's then called staring, not 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:30.720 looking lovingly, not making eye contact, that's that becomes something 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.000 different than can really really be a challenge for people 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:35.600 in the spectrum to know what the timing on something 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:37.560 like that is. Look, it's hard enough for all of us, 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:40.440 but when you have trouble with those social cues that 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.640 have nothing to do with what people literally mean, that 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:45.240 they mean what they say and say what they mean, 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.840 which isn't always true in this kind of dance, that's 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:51.720 when it gets really really challenging for people on the spectrum. 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.800 So on the drive from Forest to downtown Jackson, and 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:58.040 I'm crushing this coke float and I started thinking about 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.960 the big universal themes running through this love, kindness connection, 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:06.800 affording others respect and dignity, resilience. I think those intangible 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.000 things I just listed are are part of the story 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.640 that are going to endure for me. Now, I'm excited 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.240 to see Don surrounded by folks from the bank. Karen 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:15.760 and John told me he's been tight with a lot 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:18.520 of these people for years, and I'm wondering what Don's 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.920 friendships are like. Through all my interactions with John and Karen, 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.160 I'm not sure I've ever heard them talk about Donald 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:28.000 having any friends and Forest who are also on the spectrum. 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:31.400 It seems like maybe all his friendships are with neurotypical folks. 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:35.480 I imagine building a lasting bond with somebody who lives 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:38.920 their life in a different key can be difficult. Here's 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:41.080 what John and Karen told me. I mean, people in 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.040 the spectrum have told us that the reason they struggle 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:47.480 so much is they actually do want to make connections 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:52.080 with everybody, and they just don't necessarily know how to. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.480 They like all of us, They just they really really 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:58.240 want to be loved. It's often hard for people with 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.840 autism to connect, and sometimes it's the rest of us 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:04.240 who needs to go more than halfway in order to 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:08.159 start a relationship. My nephew Sam has known Mickey his 0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:12.760 whole life and they've never really connected. But after Sam 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.880 saw our movie, he learned that Mickey was obsessed with cats. 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:18.960 The next time Sam saw Mickey, he went up to 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:22.840 him and he me out and that was it. They 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:26.840 had the basis to start a conversation. Sam had met 0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:30.359 Mickey more than halfway and they connected. I'm glad you 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:33.360 brought up Mickey's obsession with cats, Karen. It actually reminds 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:35.320 me a lot of a conversation we had with Dr 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:40.160 Pete Gerhardt relationships and friendships are bidirectional and not doing 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.119 him many favors just by saying, Okay, I'm gonna talk 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:44.440 to you about cats for the next forty five minutes, 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.159 because that he thinks everybody's going to talk to him 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:49.159 about cats for forty five minutes, you know. And I 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:52.600 think Mickey and I also have enough of relationship because 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:55.159 I don't want to talk about cats right now, and 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:56.879 then we'll have like one or two converse one or 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:59.800 two sentences on something else and try and slip back 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.639 to hats because he's smart enough to know, Okay, I 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.800 think I can goosele this back in now, you know. 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:09.400 But I also kind of respect that about him, um 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:13.440 that he does that. But he also I don't think 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.119 he's ever gotten upset with me when I said I 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:16.600 don't want to talk about that or I don't want 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.560 to Can we talk about something? Let's talk about something 0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:23.440 else right now. Yeah, I did say I'm not gonna 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:25.640 well because I talked to him like he's a He's 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:30.080 not a client, you know, he's a colleague. He's a friend. 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:34.679 Like I don't know him as a as a client 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:37.000 in any sense of the word, Like yes, I've given 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:40.520 you advice about what I think, and you know, point 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:46.119 in some directions. But um, I talked to him like 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:51.440 I would talk to anybody else, and I think that's 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:56.479 um both appropriate and respectful. And what he told us is, 0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:00.760 if you really want to experience true emotion, you should 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:04.240 have a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum, because 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:07.800 there's no pretense. If they like you, they just really 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.959 like you. If someone with autism is your friend, they 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:15.240 are truly your friend. When they're happy, there's no hiding it, 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:19.320 and when they're sad, you can't miss it. When you 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:23.040 meet someone with autism and you have a relationship with them, 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:37.320 it's the real deal. I don't know if Don has 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:39.920 anybody in his life who challenges him or talks to 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:42.000 him in the way that Pete Gerhardt does with Mickey, 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.600 but I do know that Donald's daily routine, if you 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:47.840 stand back and take a look at it, is really 0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:50.479 built around points of connection with the people at Forest. 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.200 It seems like everybody in his world is neurotypical too. 0:19:56.080 --> 0:19:58.480 So every morning he goes to a coffee shop, sits 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:00.679 around with a bunch of other old deeds. Then in 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:04.040 the afternoon he heads over to the bank. Playing God 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:06.240 Scrambles with two or three other people at a time 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:09.199 puts him in extended contact with people, and not just 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:14.600 familiar friends, but strangers for hours at a time. We 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:17.400 want to take a quick break, but after that it's 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:23.040 party time. The Bank of Forest Christmas Party was actually 0:20:23.040 --> 0:20:26.840 held in downtown Jackson. It's the capital of Mississippi and 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:30.200 also the nearest big city the Forest. When we arrived, 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:32.480 Don still had on his Christmas tie and the green 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:34.800 blazer and slacks he showed me at his house. He 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:39.720 looked great. It's worth mentioning that Donald Triplett loves the holidays. 0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:42.080 Every year, he even dresses up as Santa for the 0:20:42.119 --> 0:20:46.479 Bank party, and he's famous for giving highly unorthodox gifts. 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:50.640 Year after year. He gives his family cheese, graders and bachelor's. 0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:57.200 Karen asked his nephew's wife, Ingrid about it. Oh, yes, 0:20:57.240 --> 0:21:01.680 I get, yes, and sometimes I mean when he travels, 0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:05.280 he'll bring you back different little things from places, so 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:10.359 key chains and magnets and things. But at Christmas, I 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:17.360 usually get some wine doesn't get in my family. Yeah, 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.200 and they might get something. I don't know what he gets. 0:21:20.240 --> 0:21:24.120 I can't remember but when the kids get things like that. 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:28.840 The Bank Christmas party event is a blow key business 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:32.679 casual affair, open bar, solid buffet with a salad station, 0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:35.240 yeast rolls, and over there in the corner there's a 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:39.639 guy carving pork line under a hot lamp. So, instead 0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:41.760 of following Donald around all night with a microphone, I 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:44.199 decided to pin a little lab mike to the lapel 0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:50.000 of his green sports coast recorded. Then, from a distance, 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:55.280 I watched Donald do his thing, hang out, Hey, sure, 0:21:55.440 --> 0:22:04.000 go to shure you again? Hey, good good. Once we 0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:06.439 got into the party, Donald navigated the crowd like a 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:10.159 seasoned politician, saying alone, shaking hands to everyone he passed, 0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:16.760 and eventually meandering up to the bar red one. Don 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:20.480 keeps it light. I'm just quit playing golf checkboard and 0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:23.840 I'm playing on the scramble. And that's about as deep 0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:28.840 as it gets. Though. He assigns numbers to new friends, 0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:31.159 and he makes up creative nicknames like Drew the Clue 0:22:31.280 --> 0:22:35.840 or Celestial Celestie. Hey a lot of Donnie, Hey, Drew 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:38.560 the clue. All right, good to shoe you again. And 0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:40.600 it doesn't take me long to realize that Don has 0:22:40.680 --> 0:22:43.840 a soft spot for female attention. Hey, don or foreman, 0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:48.879 I've been showing you a car park the grant, but 0:22:51.280 --> 0:22:55.360 I had been showing you the whole thing. With Donald 0:22:55.480 --> 0:22:58.640 flirting with these women, it's kind of a game they 0:22:58.680 --> 0:23:01.320 all played together, little bit of a conversation all of 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:04.320 its own. You know, he was beloved by them, and 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:06.480 he's also respected by them. Some of them kind of 0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:09.800 look after him, and all of them know that he 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:13.119 loves the attention, so they give him that attention and 0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:16.879 it's kind of their way of connecting back to him, 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:23.600 some of the blonds. Right then, someone asked, who is 0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:29.280 your favorite lady? So if you number one girl? If 0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:32.560 your number one? Then Donald rattles to the list of 0:23:32.560 --> 0:23:45.080 other women he fancies Brianna and uh okay, So Don's 0:23:45.119 --> 0:23:47.720 go to maneuver when he's flirting is shooting them with 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:53.199 rubber bands. Hey, hey, Howard, rubber band. He carries a 0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:55.560 bunch in his pocket and doesn't leave hung without them, 0:23:55.640 --> 0:23:58.679 and the ladies flirt right back. No, you got me. 0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:03.040 The rubber band routine is pretty funny and it's really endearing. 0:24:03.760 --> 0:24:06.360 At one point, Donald flicks a woman with a rubber band, 0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:07.879 and then he asked for it back so you can 0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:13.040 hit another woman. Nick Hey, it's really clear that Don 0:24:13.040 --> 0:24:15.560 fells at home with these people. He's having fun and 0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:23.280 they're having fun with him too. Hip the one. Then 0:24:23.280 --> 0:24:25.159 he sits down at a big round table, surrounded by 0:24:25.200 --> 0:24:29.760 wind and their husband's all lingered not too far away, 0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:33.560 pounding back long necks of the silver bullet. Everyone is 0:24:33.560 --> 0:24:41.119 settling into full party mode. I'm gonna goog you. Conversation 0:24:41.160 --> 0:24:46.160 moved to holiday shopping good. He's still talking to Melanie. 0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:51.280 Remember she's his number five girl. A few minutes later 0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:54.000 the speeches started. The president of the bank handed the 0:24:54.000 --> 0:24:58.320 microphone to Karen. John and Karen are legit celebrities and Forest. 0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:05.119 Let's give him a warm Bank of ours welcome a 0:25:05.200 --> 0:25:09.679 combination of the love of the community of Forest and 0:25:09.920 --> 0:25:12.840 Don and we're proud to have been able to be 0:25:12.880 --> 0:25:14.600 a part of all in this, So thank you for 0:25:17.359 --> 0:25:19.919 the Bank of Forest. CEO Alan Breeland got back up 0:25:19.920 --> 0:25:22.800 and gave some remarks. There was dessert and some coffee, 0:25:22.920 --> 0:25:26.760