Speaker 1: Hey, folks.
Speaker 2: In this episode, our Love Stories series continues today a
Speaker 2: couple that's been together eight years, but marriage hasn't been
Speaker 2: on the table. Well at least it wasn't before they
Speaker 2: did this interview with us. And with that, welcome to
Speaker 2: this Cuffing season edition of Amy and TJ. Rose. When
Speaker 2: you agree that as we've been going through this and
Speaker 2: it's been a blast, some of the couples like have
Speaker 2: a little you see a little light bulb go off,
Speaker 2: or they start to consider or think about things in
Speaker 2: the interview with us that maybe they hadn't been thinking about.
Speaker 1: It's been fun to watch.
Speaker 3: It has been fun to watch. Look, all of the
Speaker 3: couples who we've been interviewing are happy couples. They're all
Speaker 3: in different stages of their relationships, but all of them
Speaker 3: have been tried and tested. I think it's fair to say.
Speaker 3: And I love that we heard from Kevin and Austin saying, Hey,
Speaker 3: if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But then I
Speaker 3: started to see them realize how much they love each
Speaker 3: other and are committed to each other through answering the
Speaker 3: questions we've been asking all of the couples, and it
Speaker 3: was cool to see that that at the end they
Speaker 3: were happier than they were at the beginning of the conversation,
Speaker 3: which is a good sign as they were talking about
Speaker 3: their relationship.
Speaker 2: Well, I think we were too after this conversation with them,
Speaker 2: and that I'm not being dramatic. After every single conversation
Speaker 2: with a couple, it's been encouraging. There's been something that
Speaker 2: has been comforting about knowing somebody else is going through
Speaker 2: the exact same thing, even though you know it in
Speaker 2: your mind that other couples are dealing with it, to
Speaker 2: hear them openly talk about it, it's just it's been nice.
Speaker 2: And I think no couple would agree to come on
Speaker 2: here with us, would they if they weren't solid, Because
Speaker 2: if a couple wasn't solid and we were asking some
Speaker 2: of these questions, that they could get asty.
Speaker 3: It's true, and that's a good point. And you'll notice,
Speaker 3: and I'm not saying that celebrity couples aren't good, but
Speaker 3: a lot of celebrity couples won't do interviews together for
Speaker 3: those reasons. And if you think about it, you don't
Speaker 3: see married celebrity couples oftentimes sitting down for an interview.
Speaker 3: And so we feel really honored. Yeah, that we were
Speaker 3: able to secure this many amazing celebrity couples to actually
Speaker 3: let us ask them anything. There were no rules, No
Speaker 3: one said, hey, don't go there, don't ask us about this.
Speaker 3: They just trusted us with discussing fully their relationship, the ups,
Speaker 3: the downs, the highs, the lows. And that's not easy
Speaker 3: to talk about in a public setting.
Speaker 1: No, I didn't think about it.
Speaker 2: I was thinking that some of our couples that we
Speaker 2: did later, I said, well, they had the option, they
Speaker 2: could cheat because they could go back and listen to
Speaker 2: the early ones. Actually, no, most of these we got
Speaker 2: recorded and in the can before they started any of
Speaker 2: them airing. So none of these couples knew what was
Speaker 2: coming at them, and they trusted us to ask whatever.
Speaker 2: And they trusted their own relationship enough to know we
Speaker 2: can handle what comes at us.
Speaker 3: That's the bigger point point, right, that they trusted one
Speaker 3: another to have each other's backs, because you know, you
Speaker 3: can go even talked about this with Austin and Kevin.
Speaker 3: You can go and take your relationship even to a
Speaker 3: party and come back in a fight because someone said
Speaker 3: something that the other person didn't like or wish they
Speaker 3: hadn't said, so imagine doing that recorded for a podcast
Speaker 3: for anyone to listen to.
Speaker 1: Do I have it right?
Speaker 3: That's trust?
Speaker 1: I think I have it right.
Speaker 2: Not a single edit has been made to any of
Speaker 2: these We let it ride, and not a single couple
Speaker 2: has come to us and said, hey, can you pluck
Speaker 2: that part out or nothing? Not once, So that's been awesome.
Speaker 2: I mean, we talked about Kevin and Austin. You all
Speaker 2: know these names. Kevin McHale and Austin McKenzie. Two they
Speaker 2: met through their careers. It's fair to say both of
Speaker 2: them in entertaining.
Speaker 3: Yes, they met on the job, which so often happens.
Speaker 3: You know, we might have had that same experience. But yes,
Speaker 3: Kevin McHale or my daughters love him. They actually were
Speaker 3: upset that I didn't tell him in the interview how
Speaker 3: much they love him. But he, of course is from Glee.
Speaker 3: Anyone who loved that show, as my daughters did, knows
Speaker 3: he played Artie Abrams and then Austin McKenzie, who had
Speaker 3: a lot of a claim from his role in the
Speaker 3: Broadway performance of Spring Awakening. He's a singer, he's an actor,
Speaker 3: so it's just it's a cool story. They're both in
Speaker 3: the business that creates a lot of stress as well,
Speaker 3: but they seem to be handling it with such grace
Speaker 3: and getting stronger by the day. So they really did
Speaker 3: blow us away with openness. And what we love about
Speaker 3: the series is we talk to couples, as we mentioned,
Speaker 3: from all different stages of life. But there are in
Speaker 3: some our age differences. There is race differences, there are
Speaker 3: ethnic differences, there are sexual preference differences, and yet there's
Speaker 3: something relatable about all of them to our relationship and
Speaker 3: I'm hoping to your relationship as well. So please take
Speaker 3: a listen to the love story of Kevin McHale and
Speaker 3: Austin McKenzie. Kevin and Austin join us now. Thank you
Speaker 3: both for being with us. How you doing pretty good?
Speaker 4: Thank you for having us?
Speaker 3: Well? You look adorable to together? Uh you do? You
Speaker 3: just look so sweet? I love it. I love love.
Speaker 3: So we start off by asking everyone the same first question,
Speaker 3: each of you, if you would give us three words
Speaker 3: to describe your relationship right now. Kevin will start with you, Oh, right.
Speaker 5: Now, Okay, exciting, communicative, Wow, settled in a good way
Speaker 5: like that, or he settles for me, but like we're content.
Speaker 5: Maybe I'm living to change the content the truth comes out.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say, uh, funny, honest, And.
Speaker 7: I don't know. I think it's sexual, like yeah, yeah, sexual,
Speaker 7: you know what?
Speaker 2: And a ho tell you all and all the conversation
Speaker 2: we've had with couples, you all hit about three or
Speaker 2: even four words that we've heard for the first time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and what you all said, so that is that's kind
Speaker 2: of cool.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Next question here though, when you all first met, was
Speaker 2: their immediate chemistry.
Speaker 4: No, I would.
Speaker 8: Actually say yes, but not, but not at all the
Speaker 8: way we have chemistry now, okay, fair like we both
Speaker 8: both definitely we both definitely saw something and had a
Speaker 8: goal in mind when we first met.
Speaker 7: I think the goals were different. The goals were very different.
Speaker 1: Do explain.
Speaker 4: We met when we worked together.
Speaker 5: We filmed this mini series nine eight and a half
Speaker 5: years ago, almost nine years ago, and all of my
Speaker 5: scenes were with Austin and so I came into it
Speaker 5: being like, who is my scene partner? He's the lead
Speaker 5: of the show. Tried to do some recon about him
Speaker 5: and heard that he didn't come off as the friendliest person.
Speaker 7: I am. Let me just preface, I am I just.
Speaker 4: Didn't come yes, okay, that's why I put that in.
Speaker 7: I didn't come off me either.
Speaker 4: No, just a little cold, cold, little cold.
Speaker 1: I get that a lot too often.
Speaker 5: It's okay, okay, okay, introspective, you know it's not okay.
Speaker 5: I can get along, like I'll adapt to any situation,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, I'm not going to be in this
Speaker 5: in every scene with this guy and he's not going
Speaker 5: to not like me or like we're not going to
Speaker 5: have a good report. So my goal going into it
Speaker 5: was to sort of puzzle piece figure out what was
Speaker 5: going on with him so we could at least have
Speaker 5: some even if it was light friendship, so this experience
Speaker 5: could be enjoyable.
Speaker 4: And then immediately I saw the.
Speaker 5: Hesitance, coldness maybe, and I was like, oh, challenge, okay,
Speaker 5: challenge accepted. I'm going to figure you out, and and
Speaker 5: I sort of did. I just there wasn't any ulterior
Speaker 5: motives in terms of like I want to be with
Speaker 5: him or I want to hook up with him. It
Speaker 5: wasn't like that. It was simply started from how can
Speaker 5: we make this working relationship really good? Into maybe we
Speaker 5: should be friends, maybe we need each other as friends, and.
Speaker 7: That's how yeah, we had.
Speaker 8: We had very different goals there because I saw I
Speaker 8: remember seeing you and thinking, well, because at the time
Speaker 8: I was, I was the early twenties. I was a
Speaker 8: total mess and you know, like like we all were, and.
Speaker 6: Think for yourself, that's true. Actually you were fine.
Speaker 8: And I saw him and my first thought was next,
Speaker 8: there's another one. I found one, and so I just
Speaker 8: you know, what is it? Hook, hook and sink. Isn't
Speaker 8: that what it's It's not a hook and sinker, Hook and.
Speaker 1: Sink, hook line and sinker on.
Speaker 7: Yes, like easy catch and then we'll be done. It'll
Speaker 7: be great.
Speaker 8: That's I saw you saw it as like a you know,
Speaker 8: a friendship, friendship, and I saw it.
Speaker 4: As a temporary uh huh.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 5: It would be amazing though, if I had a radar
Speaker 5: at some point in my life to know when people
Speaker 5: thought of me in that way, because the amount of
Speaker 5: time I've just been to be like, no, they're not
Speaker 5: into me, now this is I would have been great
Speaker 5: to know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a little late, eventually it worked out. So you
Speaker 3: played the long game without even realizing you were. Who
Speaker 3: said I love you first?
Speaker 8: Who said I love you first? Austin did, which is
Speaker 8: funny because yeah, I mean we started. I feel like
Speaker 8: our roles in our in this relationship have have like
Speaker 8: over the years changed a lot like he used to.
Speaker 8: I don't know, just like the fact that I came
Speaker 8: into it being like thinking it was just going to
Speaker 8: be a hookup of fun show mance and then I
Speaker 8: ended up saying I love you.
Speaker 4: First tricked you?
Speaker 7: You did?
Speaker 2: Okay, Kevin, you've playing worked dell us Here we ask
Speaker 2: everybody this, what is the age difference? You've kind of
Speaker 2: alluded to it, but what is the age difference? And
Speaker 2: it has it had an impact at all on your
Speaker 2: relationship one way or another?
Speaker 7: Massive?
Speaker 8: It's a huge age difference. How dare you I had
Speaker 8: to change the stuper before okay.
Speaker 5: Depends it is almost five years or not a little
Speaker 5: over five years? Yeah, five years ish.
Speaker 7: He's my senior.
Speaker 5: And I would say, like the any sort of differences
Speaker 5: it has caused this like in social references and like
Speaker 5: stories like oh yeah, when I was growing up, it
Speaker 5: really makes me feel elderly. Oh, like like when you
Speaker 5: don't understand their Robbie Williams, Robbie, that movie Better Man
Speaker 5: came out this year and he was asking me about
Speaker 5: Robbie Williams was like I grew up obsessed with Robbi Williams.
Speaker 4: And he didn't know.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what, I interviewed him when he came
Speaker 3: out that I love him. It was the biggest deal.
Speaker 3: I felt so special getting to know him and hearing
Speaker 3: his story and what it took for him to come out.
Speaker 3: That's so cool. He's one of my favorites.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but I don't think there's ever been known.
Speaker 8: I mean in the beginning, like in the beginning, when
Speaker 8: I was a mess, when I was in my you know,
Speaker 8: early mid twenties, total mess. He was not norm Have
Speaker 8: you ever really been a mess? I mean that that
Speaker 8: was like a I guess a big difference. I was
Speaker 8: going through a lot that you'd already learned or experienced.
Speaker 5: You were going through a lot of personal things that
Speaker 5: I had never experienced or witnessed, and so it was
Speaker 5: like a even though we are different places sort of
Speaker 5: in our lives, I was learning.
Speaker 4: I learned.
Speaker 5: I feel like I've learned so much about like the
Speaker 5: human condition through Austin and like think personal things he's
Speaker 5: overcome in his past and things which has been.
Speaker 4: Pretty remarkable.
Speaker 8: You also had like just finished your party phase, I
Speaker 8: feel like, and mine was.
Speaker 4: Had just ended, so it was a different time.
Speaker 3: You know, I personally don't think the party phase should
Speaker 3: ever end. There shouldlways be an element, up right.
Speaker 7: I think I had mine recently, Like I feel like
Speaker 7: I just came out of my part like your party phase.
Speaker 6: I feel like I didn't party in college or high
Speaker 6: school or anything, but I feel like we've both sort
Speaker 6: of gotten back into it in a way.
Speaker 5: It's like the hell you know, when you're younger and
Speaker 5: you like going to party all the time and there's
Speaker 5: no limit on it, and then now I feel like
Speaker 5: there's the conscious decisions like do I need to do
Speaker 5: that this weekend?
Speaker 7: That might also be.
Speaker 8: That might also be a gay culture thing, I feel like,
Speaker 8: because I feel like a lot of gay culture is
Speaker 8: centered around partying, so it does come in ways maybe true,
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean we party together. We continued our party
Speaker 3: phase with each other, like not going out to hook
Speaker 3: up or whatever that other people go do, but you
Speaker 3: go out to enjoy it together, which is kind of
Speaker 3: a fun new party phase an old person's party phase,
Speaker 3: right exactly.
Speaker 4: I think that's sort of I think that's sort of
Speaker 4: where we are as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I call it a mature party phase. But whatever.
Speaker 3: Wait, So the next question we ask everybody, but I'll
Speaker 3: figure out how you guys want to handle this is
Speaker 3: we ask people, because everyone has been married so far,
Speaker 3: how long did you date before you got engaged? How
Speaker 3: long were you engaged before you got married? So how
Speaker 3: long have you all been together? And what are your
Speaker 3: plans for the future.
Speaker 5: We've been together a little over eight years and I
Speaker 5: was visiting a really good friend of mine this past
Speaker 5: weekend in Colorado and her and her husband had have
Speaker 5: been together two months shorter than we have, and they
Speaker 5: have two kids. They have like multi homes, and I'm
Speaker 5: sitting there watching with their kids, like what are we doing?
Speaker 5: It feels like we are living such different lives and
Speaker 5: we've technically been together a little longer, which feels so silly,
Speaker 5: And I think it's like breaking down that the like
Speaker 5: my friend wanted to have kids, and they both wanted
Speaker 5: to have kids and wanted to get married, and so
Speaker 5: they're fufilling that checklist. I don't think we've ever really
Speaker 5: had sort of that checklist. For me, it's like if
Speaker 5: it's good, yeah, Like I'm really it's I'm really happy
Speaker 5: with this right now and it's working how it is.
Speaker 5: So if I wake up to morrow, we should get married.
Speaker 5: How do you feel about that? Then maybe that's a discussion.
Speaker 8: One of our strong strongest suits in this relationship is
Speaker 8: just going with the flow of it.
Speaker 7: We didn't how long was it telling.
Speaker 4: We've in five years, eight years?
Speaker 8: And and like the way that that came about was
Speaker 8: one day I made a joke about moving in, and
Speaker 8: he joked back about it, and then we just kept
Speaker 8: joking about it, and then it became more serious, and
Speaker 8: then one day I was like, wait, am.
Speaker 7: I moving in?
Speaker 8: And then I moved in, and it something like we
Speaker 8: never even really thought we would move in together. I
Speaker 8: valued my space so much and so does he, and
Speaker 8: that just happened completely organically. And we are talking about
Speaker 8: a ceremony of sorts maybe or a ring of sorts maybe,
Speaker 8: but like we also have no desire to get married, but.
Speaker 4: Guess in the traditional scene for.
Speaker 8: Some reason, it's sort of I don't want to say
Speaker 8: it's heading that way, but it's like it's going into
Speaker 8: some world that's yeah, I don't know, so like we're it's.
Speaker 4: Just it's very going has happened.
Speaker 5: We're like, we're obsessed with each other and it's been
Speaker 5: eight year and I'm like, I just want us to
Speaker 5: have some jewelry.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 3: I totally get that. I totally get that.
Speaker 2: Your answer is really interesting because so many people think, Okay,
Speaker 2: marriage is the next step.
Speaker 1: You'll are taking things.
Speaker 2: Just as it comes, and it seems to be working
Speaker 2: for you, even with something as monumental as moving in together.
Speaker 2: It just kind of happened. It almost happens to havece.
Speaker 2: So the next question we had for folks, and most
Speaker 2: of them been married, why did you want to get married?
Speaker 2: And how do you think your relationship would be different
Speaker 2: if you were just a couple and not married. So
Speaker 2: I'll ask you all in this way, how do you
Speaker 2: all think? I mean, it's working great now? Do you
Speaker 2: all worry about what might happen to your relationship or
Speaker 2: might change in some way if you put that piece
Speaker 2: of paper with its.
Speaker 3: On?
Speaker 7: One hand?
Speaker 4: Do you worried?
Speaker 8: I think that's just because I come from a family
Speaker 8: with a ton of divorce and from experiencing that secondhand,
Speaker 8: I do worry, And of course I do worry of
Speaker 8: like putting press Shawn us but for the most part,
Speaker 8: I mean, I really just look at how we moved
Speaker 8: in together and like how.
Speaker 7: Easy it was.
Speaker 8: The way we talk about it, or at least the
Speaker 8: way I say is it's like living with Kevin is
Speaker 8: like living alone but better, like we have our own space.
Speaker 6: Romantic, you know, but you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 6: it's living alone is easy because there's no one bothering you,
Speaker 6: and living with you, I never feel bothered, except for
Speaker 6: when you're bothering me, right, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 6: I don't know. I don't know if the answer the
Speaker 6: question you go.
Speaker 5: I know I have the same concerns, like if it
Speaker 5: ain't broke, it's sort of it works really well as
Speaker 5: it is right now, and so I think if we're
Speaker 5: we don't have the responsibilities of kids or not behold
Speaker 5: you know, I think that would be a very different
Speaker 5: situation for us if we were coming into this. And
Speaker 5: there's something about maybe having marriage or that certificate that
Speaker 5: changed thing that makes something more stable. But like it's
Speaker 5: just us where we have some animals, and it feels
Speaker 5: like if we can just for me keep it like this,
Speaker 5: so it works until like I said before, like we
Speaker 5: wake up one day, I feel like I want to
Speaker 5: do this, and we both feel.
Speaker 7: Like we want to do it.
Speaker 5: Then the overwhelming need, like we moved in together. It
Speaker 5: got to the point where like, this makes no sense
Speaker 5: that we don't live together. Like you've been at my
Speaker 5: house six out of seven days a week through the pandemic.
Speaker 5: It works incredibly well, Like just move over here for
Speaker 5: the seventh day. And so you know, I think it's
Speaker 5: sort of that same model where like you said, it's
Speaker 5: like trending in a certain direction, and.
Speaker 4: You know, I guess it works really well right now.
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, I'm scared to mess with the balance.
Speaker 8: There is also I feel like for me, there is
Speaker 8: also a little bit of like, because of the political climate,
Speaker 8: there is a bit of like should we get married.
Speaker 8: Not that there's like just in case can not that
Speaker 8: there's like a huge, massive, real threat that it's getting away,
Speaker 8: but there is it is a hossibility that marriage equality
Speaker 8: will get taken away. So there have been times where
Speaker 8: I'm like, should we just do it before before we can?
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I hadn't even thought about that, but that
Speaker 3: does make total sense. And there are certain rights afforded
Speaker 3: to you if you're married, and certain rights that are.
Speaker 7: Not exactly.
Speaker 3: You've made a commitment to one another, correct, I mean,
Speaker 3: do you? I mean, what is your relationship commitment level? Like,
Speaker 3: have you articulated it? We haven't asked anyone else that
Speaker 3: because they've been married, So I'm just curious if you're
Speaker 3: not married, and what has been said between the two
Speaker 3: of you.
Speaker 4: Good question.
Speaker 8: I actually don't know if we've ever really talked about
Speaker 8: like what our commitment looks like, because I don't. It's
Speaker 8: not commitment in the same way of like marriage.
Speaker 7: But I mean, I.
Speaker 5: Know from my perspective, this is only my second relationship ever,
Speaker 5: I am it's my first. Yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 5: To me, it feels like when you are in a relationship,
Speaker 5: it's really important to me that we maintain our independence,
Speaker 5: Like you are your own person, this is your life first,
Speaker 5: and I want you to be with me as long
Speaker 5: as that feels like it's serving you in a positive way. Still, So,
Speaker 5: like I think, to me, it seems like a really huge,
Speaker 5: sometimes unachievable goal that people can be together for their
Speaker 5: entire lives. I think, to me, that's like a crazy
Speaker 5: amount of pressure to put on a relationship, where if
Speaker 5: you take that away there's I feel like when there's
Speaker 5: no pressure, there's so much you can explore and be spontaneous.
Speaker 5: Maybe it's the same thing I've never been married.
Speaker 6: I don't know, but.
Speaker 5: It's I think the level comment I've talked about, at
Speaker 5: least with you, is like check in with yourself as
Speaker 5: often as possible and be present in it, because I
Speaker 5: it's hard for me to like plan the future, but
Speaker 5: I don't know how I'm gonna feel about you in
Speaker 5: a week. I just know right now it feels really good,
Speaker 5: and I'm going to be honest with you every single
Speaker 5: day about how I feel in the relationship, and so
Speaker 5: it's I think it's my commitment is just to be
Speaker 5: completely communicative about where I am and to make sure
Speaker 5: that he feels like he can be the exact same
Speaker 5: way with me, because I wouldn't want him to. You know,
Speaker 5: if he meets somebody out at a coffee shop all
Speaker 5: of a sudden, it's like I just fell in love
Speaker 5: at first sight. Sure, break my heart, but I don't
Speaker 5: want to hold you back from living your life.
Speaker 4: I always figure it out.
Speaker 3: Wow, I don't think that that would ever come out
Speaker 3: of my mouth.
Speaker 4: At a coffee shop. It's in theory you know is good.
Speaker 4: No would be that cool about it.
Speaker 7: Think of it this very a very very similar way.
Speaker 8: Like I I think that if you are truly, deeply,
Speaker 8: madly in love with someone, your number one goal with
Speaker 8: them is for them to be as happy as possible.
Speaker 8: And if Kevin finds someone that he is happier with,
Speaker 8: then I want him to to take that opportunity. I
Speaker 8: want him to be happy. Yeah, I would absolutely suck.
Speaker 8: I would be devastated. It would change my entire life.
Speaker 8: But like, that's that's what I want for him. I
Speaker 8: think maybe another way to word what you're saying is like,
Speaker 8: I think we're both committed to being fully present with
Speaker 8: each other and being present in the moment. And you know, luckily,
Speaker 8: for the past eight years, every moment has been that
Speaker 8: we are.
Speaker 7: Deeply in love with each other. I always go back
Speaker 7: to too that.
Speaker 8: Uh, you know, after a certain amount of years, it
Speaker 8: became super clear that Kevin is my person more than
Speaker 8: I would call my husband or a boyfriend or a partner.
Speaker 7: He's my person.
Speaker 8: And so I guess, in a bit of a marriage way,
Speaker 8: I see that as a as a I take that
Speaker 8: commitment seriously. As you know, when things get really hard,
Speaker 8: when we argue or you know, whatever comes up, I
Speaker 8: am committed to No, this is my person and I'm
Speaker 8: gonna we're gonna work through this and get stronger and
Speaker 8: better after it, and not and not just thinking, oh,
Speaker 8: something came up. This is too serious. Clearly we're not
Speaker 8: He's not my person anymore. It's trusting that, trusting the
Speaker 8: best moments, you know, trusting how I feel. Then when
Speaker 8: it's not the best moments.
Speaker 1: That that was one. I'm not kidding you all.
Speaker 2: That might be the most insightful answer we've had to
Speaker 2: that question.
Speaker 4: Hey, I just learned between the no.
Speaker 2: But I'm saying both of you all there because people
Speaker 2: view it differently. Talk about that was a great answer
Speaker 2: the other day about you know what, there's something significant
Speaker 2: about standing in front of the people you love and
Speaker 2: declaring to them that this is the person you love.
Speaker 1: All that makes sense.
Speaker 2: And then other people have practical reasons for getting married
Speaker 2: and what it means legally and all these things.
Speaker 1: But you all gave just it was the.
Speaker 2: Most romantic and unromantic answer.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we're great, but yeah, it's cool today, we'll see.
Speaker 3: What It's an honest answer, and I don't know how
Speaker 3: much you all know about us, but we both between us,
Speaker 3: we have four divorces, so we've both been divorced twice, and.
Speaker 1: We shall not lead with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we've been contemplating whether or not we should
Speaker 3: get married or not, you know, and we haven't moved
Speaker 3: in together either, but we spend every single night and
Speaker 3: day together, so it's we're at that point now. But
Speaker 3: it's cool to hear you say, because we've also struggled
Speaker 3: with what we call each other. I like, he's my person.
Speaker 3: That's a really really cool way to talk about it. Austin,
Speaker 3: you alluded to this, and we've asked everybody this, but
Speaker 3: how often do you have sex? And has it changed
Speaker 3: over the years.
Speaker 8: Honestly, it only really changes if usually when both of
Speaker 8: us are super busy. If just one person is busy,
Speaker 8: it doesn't really change it. If we're both super busy,
Speaker 8: or if I've been very open about like mental health
Speaker 8: that I struggle with, so like, if I'm going through something,
Speaker 8: usually well that'll take a back seat.
Speaker 7: But other than that, honestly, I mean, I feel like.
Speaker 8: It's like every other day, every two days, every year,
Speaker 8: every other day, every two days.
Speaker 4: It's probably right.
Speaker 8: I mean when I've talked, Yeah, I can. I can
Speaker 8: consider that's one of the words I use.
Speaker 4: Sexual.
Speaker 7: I think that we're both very Yeah, you.
Speaker 2: Know, here's what I'll follow up. I don't think we've
Speaker 2: asked this follow up before. But is it a matter
Speaker 2: of your because you all said it, ah, yeah once
Speaker 2: every couple of days, is this something you make sure
Speaker 2: you schedule or it naturally happens? Because I will speak
Speaker 2: for Robes and I a couple of days go about
Speaker 2: you know what, we're not quite right?
Speaker 1: What's been going on with us?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: So is that a matter if it just kind of
Speaker 2: naturally occurs organically it happens, or do you all make
Speaker 2: a conscious effort to all right, there's been a couple
Speaker 2: of days.
Speaker 3: Here to prioritize it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, prioritize good work.
Speaker 4: I would say a little of both, but mostly of
Speaker 4: the time organically.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because what I've also learned, because I think we
Speaker 5: tried to do that a couple of times, schedule it
Speaker 5: and that just kills it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't handle it.
Speaker 7: You can handle it?
Speaker 4: Now we have to plan this. I'm out. Yeah, it
Speaker 4: took it it's like the biggest deflator.
Speaker 5: I don't I've had this discussion with other people too,
Speaker 5: Like I just I don't know what it is. I
Speaker 5: wish we could. It would be a lot easier if
Speaker 5: we could. I know, you can just fit it into
Speaker 5: the schedule and then fit it in, But no, I
Speaker 5: I feel like scheduling really doesn't work for me, and
Speaker 5: I do have to say because I think it would
Speaker 5: work for you, And we try to do that a
Speaker 5: little bit. And Austin has been even very good about
Speaker 5: adapting in recognizing that it does not work for me,
Speaker 5: and so he tries to make it look organic even
Speaker 5: though he may be planning on it in his head.
Speaker 7: Well, I get that.
Speaker 8: Not to get too into detail, but for gay men
Speaker 8: there is preparation involved, and so there does have to
Speaker 8: be like a little bit of like planning of like
Speaker 8: making sure the feelers are out there and making sure
Speaker 8: that like, Okay, I think we're going to get into
Speaker 8: this mood now we have.
Speaker 7: I think I think I can speak for both of
Speaker 7: us that we both have have How do I say this?
Speaker 8: We both have have played around in the playing field
Speaker 8: of sexual experiences with other men, and we're each other's
Speaker 8: best sex.
Speaker 7: I hope you agree, but yeah, the best sex of
Speaker 7: my life.
Speaker 6: So he's the best sex in my life, and so
Speaker 6: I want to have sex with him all the time.
Speaker 2: Truly, I'm glad we didn't add that to our Can
Speaker 2: you imagine if we asked all the couples, Hey, has
Speaker 2: your spouse been the best sex of your life?
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, that would.
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no no, I don't want what I was.
Speaker 5: This recently came up with We were we were around
Speaker 5: a couple friend of mine last week and they were
Speaker 5: very open. Were our whole friend group, for the record,
Speaker 5: is very open about talking about these intimate sexual details,
Speaker 5: especially like no judgment. We asked questions like straight, gay,
Speaker 5: whatever it is. I don't know why, but that's sort
Speaker 5: of like the friend group we've curated I've always had
Speaker 5: and this they're straight, they're married, and and it was
Speaker 5: the first time they were admitting to each other that
Speaker 5: it was like the best they were each other's best sex.
Speaker 7: They've ever had.
Speaker 4: And I was like, are you lying?
Speaker 5: Are you trying to make the other person feel And
Speaker 5: they were going above and beyond to like prove that
Speaker 5: they meant to and I was like, this is great,
Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, so like who's next?
Speaker 4: Who else?
Speaker 5: Who was weirdly quiet in the room right now and
Speaker 5: not answering this?
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, oh no? So how you also mentioned
Speaker 3: this a little bit. Everybody fights? How often would you
Speaker 3: say you fight? And what do you fight? Is there
Speaker 3: something you fight the most about?
Speaker 4: I'm not a fighter.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know you're not a fighter.
Speaker 7: I'm not a fighter. I just I'm very passionate.
Speaker 4: I will say this.
Speaker 5: Because I'm not really a fighter. I think that leads
Speaker 5: to maybe more unintended avoidance of situations where my objective
Speaker 5: is to be super overly communicative. But Austin has been
Speaker 5: really good, like you mentioned earlier about like protecting or
Speaker 5: like the happiness or the happiness or the relationship at
Speaker 5: all times when there have been disagreements where I've been like, ugh,
Speaker 5: this is I don't want to talk, this is dumb.
Speaker 5: Do we even need to do this, He'll be like, no,
Speaker 5: we need to. We really need to figure this out.
Speaker 5: It's one of those things like we're not going to
Speaker 5: bed angry, like, let's talk through it. And before we
Speaker 5: were even technically together, there were a couple of times
Speaker 5: where I think you know, I didn't know what we
Speaker 5: were and I was frustrated, and I would pick a
Speaker 5: fight without realizing it always, you know, not imagining I
Speaker 5: was ever someone that would do that. And he's one
Speaker 5: of my favorite things about him is that he's so
Speaker 5: smart and the way he could break down. He's like, Okay,
Speaker 5: so I think what you're doing right now as like
Speaker 5: you're picking a fight because of X, Y and Z,
Speaker 5: and just like sort of read me and I can
Speaker 5: be objective about myself and I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 5: you're you're right, And every single time and it's come
Speaker 5: up and it may be.
Speaker 4: I don't think there's one thing that.
Speaker 5: We necessarily disagree about or fight about, but regardless of
Speaker 5: what it is, it's always handled in a similar way
Speaker 5: where we sort of have to keep each other in check,
Speaker 5: keep each other honest. And he's very good at making
Speaker 5: sure I don't just sweep it under the rug or
Speaker 5: shut it down, because I'm pretty good at that. And
Speaker 5: it's taught me to also think about how I want
Speaker 5: to approach those situations beforehand, which has been great because
Speaker 5: it's great to be able to like learn things about
Speaker 5: yourself and have the person you love the most teach
Speaker 5: those things, and it's not a judgmental thing. It's you know,
Speaker 5: I'm thirty six and I'm still learning things every time.
Speaker 5: We do have an uncomfortable communication, and we respect each
Speaker 5: other enough to be able to be honest. Yeah, but
Speaker 5: like there's no low blows. You know, we don't like
Speaker 5: I'm not trying to just piss you off to like
Speaker 5: get my job in.
Speaker 4: We don't do that. It's like I don't need to
Speaker 4: do that. I don't want to make you upset. But
Speaker 4: let's be very clear about what we're saying.
Speaker 7: Yeah, we're also like.
Speaker 6: So unfiltered with each other that, Uh, I don't think
Speaker 6: we have that many fights because we always dress things
Speaker 6: in a moment like dude, you're really pissing me off today,
Speaker 6: can you please stop?
Speaker 7: Or like why the hell did you say that at
Speaker 7: that party?
Speaker 8: Like, well, we'll just like we're super honest and we
Speaker 8: know that like we can say anything in front of
Speaker 8: each other, there'll be no judgment.
Speaker 2: Kevin, next question here, we asked everybody this. You mentioned
Speaker 2: it in your answer there, But it sounds like you
Speaker 2: all make a point not to go to bed angry,
Speaker 2: do you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, as Austin is very good at that. There have
Speaker 5: definitely been times where I've wanted to pull the eject
Speaker 5: button and I'm like, I'm done with this conversation. Here's
Speaker 5: the dovet good night.
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I try to me, I'm like, I know the answer
Speaker 5: to this, Like how you know? It's like one of
Speaker 5: those things you get frustrated or annoyed. I'm like, how
Speaker 5: are you not getting this? But that's no reason, you know, now,
Speaker 5: in this moment of peace, that's no reason too. If
Speaker 5: the partner is not getting it, or does not feel
Speaker 5: one percent heard or understood, or doesn't feel like we're
Speaker 5: one D linked and SYNCD in that moment, then that's
Speaker 5: my moment as a partner to step up and be like, Okay,
Speaker 5: how do we how do we get there? How do
Speaker 5: we communicate this? What do we need to what do
Speaker 5: you need to hear from me?
Speaker 4: What am I not?
Speaker 5: What do you think I'm not getting from you? And
Speaker 5: so he's good at reminding because there's been several times
Speaker 5: in bed where he's like, we're not going to bed angry.
Speaker 8: I just take I take cliches very seriously. I think
Speaker 8: there's a reason that cliches are cliche, Like I've heard
Speaker 8: every wedding ceremony, you know, don't go to bout angry,
Speaker 8: and they must say it for a reason.
Speaker 7: It's always stuck with me, So I just take that
Speaker 7: very seriously.
Speaker 3: That's very cool. I love I love the Why the
Speaker 3: hell did you say that at that party? That is
Speaker 3: such a like classic you come back from something you've
Speaker 3: been drinking. Oh my god, that just that was hilarious.
Speaker 5: To the flip side of that is awesome. It'll be like,
Speaker 5: why the hell did I say that at that party?
Speaker 5: And I'm like, no, no, it's fine, don't worry.
Speaker 4: No, that's cute.
Speaker 3: What do you each love the most about the others?
Speaker 4: Really hard? There's a lot.
Speaker 7: I want to guess what you're gonna say about me.
Speaker 2: Now, Cam you mentioned earlier you love that he was
Speaker 2: so smart? He is and favorite thing.
Speaker 4: I think his intelligence.
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, can you clarify that? I think
Speaker 6: I like books smart you are. You're an idiot, like
Speaker 6: right now that you're stupid, but you're so smart. I
Speaker 6: think the umbrella is probably his intelligence, which includes his talent,
Speaker 6: which I think is super hot. He's so good at
Speaker 6: so many things, and like the passion for that is
Speaker 6: one of my absolutely favorite things about him. But something
Speaker 6: I have found and I think we both found that
Speaker 6: I never even imagine necessarily looking for in a relationship
Speaker 6: that has really come to the forefront to maybe be
Speaker 6: the number one most important thing is our shared sense
Speaker 6: of humor.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's like he can be.
Speaker 5: It's so similar and it's punchy, real and like really quick.
Speaker 4: He's so quick. It's infuriating, but I love it well
Speaker 4: that he's so quick.
Speaker 8: We're holding back a lot of a banter right now
Speaker 8: because we actually say this a lot where we'll be
Speaker 8: out in public around friends and maybe there's people that
Speaker 8: know us that well, and we'll be in the car
Speaker 8: on the way home being like people might think that
Speaker 8: we're mad at each other or something because our banter
Speaker 8: is so constant.
Speaker 7: Yeah, people might misinterpret it's like we're funny.
Speaker 5: We say, like we're like we're like mentally boxing each other. Yeah,
Speaker 5: like we like just like, yeah, we're completely that's that's
Speaker 5: the word.
Speaker 7: Sorry.
Speaker 4: And I like to be pushed and like that was
Speaker 4: a better joke than I.
Speaker 5: Got in Like, oh that was good, Okay, Like I
Speaker 5: and it's and I love that it's the same, you know,
Speaker 5: it's I don't know, constantly think about if we did
Speaker 5: not have that, like how would this work, would it
Speaker 5: work at all? And I'm and I honestly think that's
Speaker 5: probably like the secret ingredient to all of this is
Speaker 5: that shared I don't know if it's a sense of
Speaker 5: humor or sense of taste and things like that, because
Speaker 5: it also applies to music and all these things.
Speaker 8: But I have to say two things. It's really hard
Speaker 8: to me to humor is a huge one. But here
Speaker 8: he said that if I'm being totally honest, and I
Speaker 8: know I keep talking about it, like the sex that we.
Speaker 6: Have, you're really making me No, I mean like, no, well, yes,
Speaker 6: it can't be that good.
Speaker 8: No, But like, if we're just being honest, if we're
Speaker 8: being if.
Speaker 7: We're being honest in this relationship.
Speaker 8: I like, I have a lot of sexual needs and
Speaker 8: desires and it's amazing that I'm with someone that can
Speaker 8: completely fulfill those.
Speaker 7: So that is a big thing, damn.
Speaker 8: But then also just your groundedness, because I'm so I'm
Speaker 8: never on the ground, I'm never on the planet, and
Speaker 8: he's he's the one who in a great way balances me.
Speaker 7: So that way I'm at least hovering above the ground.
Speaker 4: And every time you're trying to run up against it,
Speaker 4: I'm like, cut it out.
Speaker 7: This is where we are.
Speaker 2: This is now not this is the most difficult transition
Speaker 2: we've had from that question to this next question. Because
Speaker 2: you all gave such a fun answer to that one,
Speaker 2: we have to talk about finance is now how how
Speaker 2: do you all it's a big one for couples. How
Speaker 2: do you handle finances? Do you have separate accounts? Do
Speaker 2: you have joint everything together it's half and how do
Speaker 2: you all do it?
Speaker 8: I was actually just thinking about this the other day.
Speaker 8: I really like how it's funny, like we've never.
Speaker 6: Even really talked about this logistically. But I think he
Speaker 6: knows me so well that he knows to respect my
Speaker 6: independence in the sense that.
Speaker 8: We're always going to be making our own money, you know,
Speaker 8: our own money. And at the same time though, as
Speaker 8: far as helping each other out, I mean, when I
Speaker 8: need help, he'll help vice versa in the sense of
Speaker 8: like if you you know, we want to we want
Speaker 8: to help each other, so why not do it, you know,
Speaker 8: financially speaking. But no, I think that he just really
Speaker 8: we respect each other's independence financially and have never felt
Speaker 8: like there's a need to join any of that together. Yeah,
Speaker 8: we never even talked about it, and that's the way
Speaker 8: I want it.
Speaker 5: Now that you've brought this up, we'll be back in
Speaker 5: thirty God, if you ask for a joint bank account
Speaker 5: after this.
Speaker 2: You can fight about it tonight, right before you go
Speaker 2: to bed under that duvet.
Speaker 4: Sound deep and he'll be fuming.
Speaker 3: How do you guys handle just household stuff? Because this
Speaker 3: also causes fights from the dishes, to the laundry to
Speaker 3: all of the thing cooking, clean everything. How do you
Speaker 3: guys handle it? How do you split it up?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 8: I well, like I said, I'm another word to say
Speaker 8: is like spacey.
Speaker 7: I'm a very spacey person. So I'll have parts of
Speaker 7: the house.
Speaker 8: Or moments in a week where like everything's very clean,
Speaker 8: but then two days go by and I like neglect
Speaker 8: that I've laundry on the counter, or like I don't know, cups.
Speaker 7: In the sink or something like that.
Speaker 8: I always get to it eventually, but he doesn't care.
Speaker 5: I don't think the advantage of him of us not
Speaker 5: living together for six years was the amount of time
Speaker 5: we've spent at each other's respective homes and when you
Speaker 5: see I think other people interact with Like we both
Speaker 5: had roommates and things like that, where he fully picked
Speaker 5: up on the things that bother me and I picked
Speaker 5: up the things that bother him just from observation.
Speaker 4: So when it came to.
Speaker 5: Moving in with one another, he would automatically start He's like,
Speaker 5: I know there's dishes in the sink because he witnessed that.
Speaker 5: I didn't love when dishes get left in the sink,
Speaker 5: and I didn't say anything. And to me, it's like
Speaker 5: the fact that you're even acknowledging that I know you're
Speaker 5: paying attention, and that means a lot, and so I'm
Speaker 5: not worried about it because I know you will get
Speaker 5: to it and you always do. And so there's a
Speaker 5: difference between you know, when it's like college days and
Speaker 5: you're leaving a pile of bowls and the sink and
Speaker 5: the laundries everywhere and gets gross like it's that's It's
Speaker 5: never like that with us, And I think it's because
Speaker 5: we've been able to find those things out from one
Speaker 5: another beforehand.
Speaker 8: We also have like we have two dogs, we have
Speaker 8: a cat. I like, we don't have kids. I feel
Speaker 8: like we kind of live in like a in some
Speaker 8: ways a bit of like a bachelor house where it's
Speaker 8: like it's chill, like if there's you know, a couple
Speaker 8: of things on the counter, who cares, Like, we've.
Speaker 7: Never ever thought about it.
Speaker 4: We're both pretty clean.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, we both we don't care about But am
Speaker 2: I hearing it right that it sounds like you all
Speaker 2: divvy up in terms of you clean your shit, I'll
Speaker 2: clean mine. You wash your clothes and dishes, I'll wash
Speaker 2: my clothes and dishes.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's fully that.
Speaker 5: It's I think it's sort of the same as finances,
Speaker 5: like we take care of ourselves. We take care of
Speaker 5: our stuff. Yeah, and there's never an issue. To be honest,
Speaker 5: I want like I'll have a clean your come every
Speaker 5: two weeks, you know, like that sort of thing. He's like,
Speaker 5: we don't need that, we can do that ourselves. I'm like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 5: I want that. I need that.
Speaker 4: There's a little deeper clean there. Yeah, I get to
Speaker 4: that would take us let me just yeah, never, that's
Speaker 4: on me. I want that. So I got that.
Speaker 7: We've never got heads on that think.
Speaker 3: But who cooks?
Speaker 7: Uh, he's never cooked a day.
Speaker 8: I'm not like a huge cook, Like I used to
Speaker 8: be a pastry chef and so like I do quite
Speaker 8: a bit of baking. But like, I'm not a huge cook.
Speaker 8: But of the two of us, I am. He doesn't
Speaker 8: know where anything. Yeah, he's not a cook. He can
Speaker 8: hardly make cereal.
Speaker 4: I'm good at eggs.
Speaker 7: That's true. You make a good French omelet.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 7: That's literally it. That's it.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 4: Have you all?
Speaker 3: Oh goo, you mentioned this? How much alone time do
Speaker 3: you all need from one another?
Speaker 7: It's definitely changed a lot because I feel like.
Speaker 6: My alone time is time with my friends, my best friends,
Speaker 6: Like I don't I don't need to.
Speaker 4: I'm not your best friend, your best.
Speaker 8: Friend, but I don't have to like be alone alone
Speaker 8: from like I just that being hanging out with my
Speaker 8: friends is enough, like to keep the balance of like
Speaker 8: not spending all my time with him.
Speaker 7: But I don't know.
Speaker 5: We were very intentional about when we seriously talked about
Speaker 5: moving in with one another, creating a space, because after
Speaker 5: a year being together, Austin did say, do you think
Speaker 5: we should move in together?
Speaker 4: And it was a quick no.
Speaker 5: I know how much you need your loan space and
Speaker 5: I don't want you to resent me after a couple
Speaker 5: of months of living in here and being around me
Speaker 5: all the time. In same for me, like, let's not
Speaker 5: force it. So when it did come time to move
Speaker 5: in with one another, there's a guest bedroom, and so
Speaker 5: to me, it was sort of like, why don't you
Speaker 5: set up.
Speaker 4: Like that's your room.
Speaker 5: We have our shared bedroom and all that, but you
Speaker 5: can set up use it as your office, use it
Speaker 5: as your recording studio. If you want to seep in
Speaker 5: there some nights just because you're up late, you're working late,
Speaker 5: that can be your space. And I'm not going to
Speaker 5: take it personally. That is, that is whatever you want
Speaker 5: to do in there. He took it a little too seriously.
Speaker 5: He still do not disturb thing from a hotel and
Speaker 5: puts it on the handle and locks the door. So
Speaker 5: that was not pre negotiated.
Speaker 8: It's funny, actually, like I really need my space. But
Speaker 8: the way that's manifested some really well know. The way
Speaker 8: that's manifested is I will fall I'll sleep on the
Speaker 8: couch sometimes, which seems like so dramatic, but it's just
Speaker 8: like I feel like sleeping somewhere else tonight, I'm going
Speaker 8: to sleep on the cat well.
Speaker 5: When I met him, he was sleeping on the couch
Speaker 5: in his apartment because he prefers sleeping.
Speaker 4: I love the couch, so really.
Speaker 3: You are just you are describing t J. Helps like
Speaker 3: I see a couch, it's his favorite place to sleep.
Speaker 7: Yeah. Yeah, I struggle to get off the couch at
Speaker 7: night to.
Speaker 5: Every night he's like, why don't you just leap down
Speaker 5: with him? No, I'm not doing this. I'm not playing
Speaker 5: this game because I don't want to fall a seat
Speaker 5: for forty five minutes and wake up more tired and
Speaker 5: then have to go downstairs to the bed. I'm not
Speaker 5: playing this game with you. You can stay up here, but
Speaker 5: I'm going down.
Speaker 7: I almost pricked them into it last night.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. This is the negotiation we have all
Speaker 3: the time too.
Speaker 2: It's so funny. We look forward to having a double
Speaker 2: date with you guys. I would love that Robot and
Speaker 2: Kevin are going to.
Speaker 1: Stay at the table.
Speaker 2: Me and you also can go out of having cigarette
Speaker 2: and talk about what the hell these two?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Okay, wait, you had men a cigarette.
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Speaker 1: Couples counseling. Have you all ever done it? In it?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Keep it up? Interested in it?
Speaker 7: What we haven't we haven't.
Speaker 8: I'm not opposed to it, never opposed to it, never
Speaker 8: ever opposed to it. I just think that our communication
Speaker 8: is so crystal clear and so consistent that not that
Speaker 8: that's like what we'll fix everything, but we just have
Speaker 8: always squashed issues right as they happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think if there was ever a moment that
Speaker 4: would arise that we would need.
Speaker 7: It, Yeah, we would. I'd be way more open to
Speaker 7: it than he would.
Speaker 8: And one hundred percent we've talked about it in the past,
Speaker 8: like there was one time where I was like, maybe
Speaker 8: we should and you were like, we don't need to
Speaker 8: do that.
Speaker 5: I fully turned into the person I don't like. It
Speaker 5: was very weird to your parents.
Speaker 4: I don't know if that's ever happened to you, but
Speaker 4: I thought all the time.
Speaker 5: My initial reaction was like, wait a minute, yeah, like,
Speaker 5: who is that?
Speaker 10: We don't you going to do for us? That's exactly
Speaker 10: how not. I don't even have to an accent. But
Speaker 10: I did have my oh no, I think we're fine.
Speaker 10: And then I had a moment with myself. I was like, wait,
Speaker 10: why is that my initial reaction too?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's cool though, that self reflection is important. I
Speaker 3: love that what it oh in the middle when you
Speaker 3: do fight, have either one of you ever gotten so
Speaker 3: angry that you've threatened to break up, walk out, leave
Speaker 3: the relationship?
Speaker 7: Not vocally.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, you text it?
Speaker 7: Oh no, just I just I just wow thought it. Yeah,
Speaker 7: I justaborate. Well, I told you I'm very passionate.
Speaker 8: I get very emotional, and so sometimes in my head
Speaker 8: I'm just like, well, then I guess I guess I'll
Speaker 8: just leave him.
Speaker 7: Then I'll teach him a lesson.
Speaker 1: But you never threw it in his face and threaten no.
Speaker 7: But the but the.
Speaker 8: Idea of punishing him by saying we can't be digger anymore,
Speaker 8: like is so appealing sometimes, Oh my god, like that
Speaker 8: that's what's so annoying about being in like a really
Speaker 8: beautiful relationship.
Speaker 4: Is that why you have to stay in? It is
Speaker 4: not in my face?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Like, sometimes I just want to get back at you, like, fine,
Speaker 8: you're never going to see me again, you know, Like,
Speaker 8: how dare you say that stupid thing at the party?
Speaker 5: Okay, So I read some my Twitter thread last week
Speaker 5: about this person was saying I'm a couple's counselor I've
Speaker 5: been doing it for a couple of years. Here like
Speaker 5: the top ten things I've learned that make a successful couple.
Speaker 4: And I read it.
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, we have all these And the
Speaker 5: one I found really interesting was like the ethical fighting.
Speaker 5: And we alluded to this earlier, but that's the exact
Speaker 5: same thing. There's never been a community, there's never been
Speaker 5: a an intentional conversation about this is how we're going
Speaker 5: to argue, and this is how we're going to fight.
Speaker 5: But we inherently, I think, know that about each other,
Speaker 5: like We're not going to just throw things in each
Speaker 5: other's face just so you can get the reaction and satisfaction.
Speaker 7: But I keep it locked and loaded. I have a
Speaker 7: list of things I would love to throw in his face,
Speaker 7: but okay, because we are respectful fighters.
Speaker 2: Okay, next question though, and we're going to get out
Speaker 2: of Austin's head to do this one. What is the
Speaker 2: closest you all have actually come to breaking up or
Speaker 2: ending the relationship?
Speaker 7: Oh? Definitely, early on, many.
Speaker 4: Times, many times.
Speaker 8: Yeah, we were a mess in the beginning. Yeah I wasn't, no,
Speaker 8: but I just feel like we like I.
Speaker 5: Was going through it, and okay, we got together. This
Speaker 5: is probably not the healthiest thing. We got together. And
Speaker 5: I had just gotten out of a long term relationship
Speaker 5: almost immediately into this. He was going through all kinds
Speaker 5: of things, and I think that adage of like, if
Speaker 5: you can't love yourself, how you going to you know,
Speaker 5: ru Paul, how are you going to love somebody else where?
Speaker 5: He was working on himself and so how can you
Speaker 5: be the partner you should be in a relationship if
Speaker 5: you're not operating at your fullest capacity? And so at
Speaker 5: the beginning, I was like, well, I'm obsessed with him.
Speaker 5: I'm crazy about him and in love with him. But
Speaker 5: I think this is gonna be like six months.
Speaker 4: Like I just I don't know how this is going
Speaker 4: to work.
Speaker 7: I still don't. We got to eight half years.
Speaker 4: No, it's like it's like we've blinked and we've got
Speaker 4: we got to eight.
Speaker 8: But the fact that we made it through that first
Speaker 8: year I think is crazy. And all of her a
Speaker 8: lot of her friends say the same expencers stuff that.
Speaker 5: I think it was because personality wise were very different,
Speaker 5: but we overlap and this took time to find almost
Speaker 5: in every other way where our interests are the same.
Speaker 5: Clearly esses of humor is the same. And I think, yeah,
Speaker 5: that first year, I don't know if there's like one point,
Speaker 5: but no, there was a lot of up and down.
Speaker 5: Awesome was going through well, I think I think.
Speaker 6: I think to Saw, Kevin had been in a relationship
Speaker 6: for seven years, he knew he at least had a
Speaker 6: foundation of how relationship worked. I not only had no
Speaker 6: found of how a relationship worked, but I also didn't
Speaker 6: want to be in a relationship. I didn't want to
Speaker 6: commit myself to anyone. I was afraid of being in
Speaker 6: love with someone so shouldn't, well, you love me.
Speaker 8: I think it's more like, it's amazing that, like I
Speaker 8: stayed in it because I just I wasn't ready for
Speaker 8: a relationship.
Speaker 7: I just happened to meet my person.
Speaker 3: Well that's awesome. But it sounds like any of the
Speaker 3: bigger fights happened early on, and that once you got
Speaker 3: through that, then you guys figured out the dynamic and
Speaker 3: what worked in how not to upset the other person
Speaker 3: as much. But I see a lot of respect between
Speaker 3: the two of you and humor, and those two things
Speaker 3: to me are so so important, and I see both
Speaker 3: of those alive and well in you. It's very cool. Right,
Speaker 3: we're going to wrap this up. You guys have been
Speaker 3: so much fun. So you've made lots of references to
Speaker 3: how great your sex life is. How do you keep
Speaker 3: the romance alive? Like for couples who want to know
Speaker 3: it's been eight years, it's been ten years. Maybe it's
Speaker 3: only been a few years, but you're trying to figure out,
Speaker 3: what would you say is the secret to keeping your
Speaker 3: romance alive.
Speaker 5: I don't know if there's just a secret. I look
Speaker 5: at him and I'm like, I'm still just as attracted
Speaker 5: to you as I was, if not more. Yeah, the
Speaker 5: first time I like met you, I guess and I.
Speaker 6: I've always said this, I think the sexiest part of
Speaker 6: sex is everything that happens before sex and the foreplay,
Speaker 6: but not even in the bedroom foreplay, but like flirting.
Speaker 8: And syntactually the things that you're saying. So I think
Speaker 8: that for me, another thing I love about Kevin, Like
Speaker 8: that I love most about Kevin is that he always
Speaker 8: says things that surprise me, and whether it's sexual or not,
Speaker 8: like the conversation being fresh and him challenging me.
Speaker 7: That to me, that for me, that's what keeps the
Speaker 7: romance alive.
Speaker 5: Damn, you really just big up my ego. I don't
Speaker 5: I have no idea what you're talking about, but you're welcome.
Speaker 5: I don't know what I say that's surprising, but I
Speaker 5: got to keep doing it.
Speaker 8: No, but it's it's not even I mean, it is
Speaker 8: a compliment, but it's not even saying like you're intentional.
Speaker 7: About or anything.
Speaker 6: But just like I don't know, just the honesty in
Speaker 6: our conversation. That's what keeps it hot to me, is like.
Speaker 8: That like confidence in like I'm going to say whatever
Speaker 8: I want to say to you and if it's stupid
Speaker 8: or if it's wrong or whatever, if it comes across
Speaker 8: me or whatever, like that to me is sexy.
Speaker 5: And I think receiving that too, of someone that you
Speaker 5: can feel is still so into you and vice versa,
Speaker 5: like the confidence of like I can tell he it's
Speaker 5: shocking to me that he's still into me sexually after
Speaker 5: eight years, and that's exciting. And you know, like, oh
Speaker 5: my god, you feel the same way I do, Like, yeah,
Speaker 5: that's that's good.
Speaker 4: It's nice.
Speaker 5: It feels like high school on it, like in a way,
Speaker 5: it feels like it's fresh and new. And obviously there
Speaker 5: are you know, peaks and valleys, because there's things happen
Speaker 5: in life and that's not top of mind, but generally
Speaker 5: and even if there's times when you know it is
Speaker 5: more of a valley where you know, life happens. We
Speaker 5: that's so important to both of us that we definitely
Speaker 5: know how to like ignite it in one another and
Speaker 5: make it a.
Speaker 7: Focus and priority and travel traveling. We're both we're both
Speaker 7: sluts for true.
Speaker 4: I mean, what's better than a hotel room?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we agree, we're in one right now.
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, you're gonna log off and I know
Speaker 4: what's gonna happen.
Speaker 3: We're in Vegas, baby, so yes, oh god, we love it.
Speaker 8: Oh we love Vegas. Oh that's that's also a great one.
Speaker 8: Vegas will bring the Roman.
Speaker 7: Yeads, will it?
Speaker 5: Actually, I don't know something the sweet oxygen being pumped
Speaker 5: into a smoke filled so good.
Speaker 3: Let the memories begin.
Speaker 2: But the last one here, guys, is I guess it's
Speaker 2: obvious and as Austin you might say cliche, but it
Speaker 2: has to be asked. Anytime somebody's around someone who is
Speaker 2: in a successful and certainly long term relationship, they asked
Speaker 2: this question, so we'll ask it of you answered, however,
Speaker 2: you like, what.
Speaker 1: Is the secret to relationship success?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 4: I hate when people say this.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they always ask.
Speaker 4: The question. Is good.
Speaker 5: To me, it's like purely communication, but I mean it's
Speaker 5: in it's setting a standard of communication. Though I think
Speaker 5: it's not just like, yeah, we have to speak to
Speaker 5: one another. It's the type and style of communication, what
Speaker 5: you expect to hear from the other person and from yourself,
Speaker 5: all the things you know that encapsulates everything we've just
Speaker 5: talked about, where there's no judgment. It's like better out
Speaker 5: than in like, let's not harbor any resentments towards one another,
Speaker 5: and it's not necessarily like, oh, it's so much work.
Speaker 5: If you set that precedent for yourselves, then it's a
Speaker 5: habit and it's not something you have to think about.
Speaker 4: And I think pretty early on we establish that.
Speaker 5: And it's also really rewarding when you realize there's like
Speaker 5: new levels to communication, Like, oh, I thought we were
Speaker 5: being really open with each other, but we just unlocked
Speaker 5: the next level of this somehow. And that only happens
Speaker 5: through embracing that and like charging right through it when
Speaker 5: you get into those sticky situations.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think just communication.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think that goes hand in hand with openness.
Speaker 8: I feel like I look at all the people I
Speaker 8: know that are in relationships or have been in relationships,
Speaker 8: and when I see relationships that are in really rough
Speaker 8: spots and are at risk, I think it's because one
Speaker 8: or both partners aren't open to a new perspective to
Speaker 8: a different person, right, because we all we only we
Speaker 8: only perceive people to act the same way that we act.
Speaker 8: You know, like if I if I think, if I
Speaker 8: have a certain mechanism in my head, I'm going to
Speaker 8: assume that everyone else thinks that same way too, and
Speaker 8: that's going to clash unless.
Speaker 7: You're open to other perspectives. And to me, that is
Speaker 7: what works.
Speaker 6: Yeah, because I think not too on what you're saying,
Speaker 6: but like, I think communication is vital to a relationship,
Speaker 6: but communication also can lead to honesty as far as
Speaker 6: maybe that you shouldn't stay together, and I think that's
Speaker 6: important to communicate about.
Speaker 7: But I think when we're talking about like keeping.
Speaker 6: A relationship going, I think you just have to be
Speaker 6: open to changing and being open to someone that's different
Speaker 6: than you, because there's never going to be a perfect relationship.
Speaker 7: It doesn't exist.
Speaker 5: I do think I co signed that because there's been
Speaker 5: I can't take the amount of times I've learned that
Speaker 5: over and over again in this relationship where it's like, oh,
Speaker 5: I don't need an apology, but he needs an apology for.
Speaker 4: Example, and.
Speaker 5: Unlearning that everything needs to be from just my strict
Speaker 5: point of view and being open to the compromise and
Speaker 5: making sure he's getting what he needs from me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you taught me that.
Speaker 3: That's awesome. And I think so many people are focused
Speaker 3: on getting what they need. They're not they're not actually
Speaker 3: doing what relationships will require, which is for you to
Speaker 3: figure out what the other person needs.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you want the other person to be happy
Speaker 5: and fulfilled, and that means that you are a part
Speaker 5: of that and accomplishing that for that person, and that
Speaker 5: should be fulfilling for you.
Speaker 4: It is for me, I know it is for both
Speaker 4: of us. So it's yeah, very.
Speaker 3: Oh, Kevin and Austin, you guys have been amazing. We
Speaker 3: have learned so much from you. I know our listeners
Speaker 3: have to. It's so cool to hear your love story
Speaker 3: and to see your relationship and you have a deep
Speaker 3: friendship too on top of it. But I love the
Speaker 3: fun you have, I love the humor you have, and
Speaker 3: just thank you for sharing it with us. We appreciate you.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, lovely, I fully expect a double date.
Speaker 8: Yes, it was not kidding, yea honestly, And I feel
Speaker 8: like significantly more in love than I did when I
Speaker 8: woke up.
Speaker 7: So not that I wasn't in love when.
Speaker 5: I woke up, but we needed. I'll send you a venmo.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for this.
Speaker 3: Well, Happy Valentine's Day.