1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,680 Speaker 1: Sometimes you just have to sit with the softness and 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: the emotion and the feeling and just to be open 3 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: to it, to be receptive and know that feeling is 4 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: part of feeling. 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Abadi here bringing you Episode one thirty 6 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 2: five of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I sit 7 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,639 Speaker 2: down with inspiring individuals to talk about everything from their 8 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 2: big wins to how they've gotten through some of life's 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:41,639 Speaker 2: toughest moments. On the show, you can expect vulnerability, a motivation, 10 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 2: and candid discussions with everyone from top athletes to aspiring 11 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 2: entrepreneurs on what it really takes to follow your passions. 12 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 2: My mission is simple to inspire you to be your 13 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: best self, move with intention, and have some fun along 14 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,920 Speaker 2: the way. Before I talk to you about today's episode, 15 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 2: I would be remiss not to mention that I am 16 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 2: on Cloud nine. I'm not a singer. Don't want this 17 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 2: voice ever fool you. I am a nine time marathoner. 18 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 2: I ran a virtual New York City over the weekend 19 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 2: at clocking your three twenty four eighteen personal best, and 20 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 2: I am just beside myself with gratitude and oh man, 21 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,319 Speaker 2: I will be telling you all about it in this 22 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:36,479 Speaker 2: week's upcoming hurdle moment, So stay tuned. All the details, 23 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: all the dirt, all the low down is coming your 24 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: way today for the show, I am chatting with Remy Park. 25 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 2: She is the blogger behind the wildly popular food blog 26 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: veggiekins Now. Remy and I we met god maybe a 27 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: year and a half ago or so at the Big Quiet, 28 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 2: which is a mass meditation event that is founded actually 29 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,440 Speaker 2: by past hurdler Jesse Israel, and we've enjoyed keeping up 30 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 2: with each other ever since, so we connected for today's episode. 31 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 2: I wanted to have her on the show because from 32 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,080 Speaker 2: following her and from talking to her, I know she 33 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,920 Speaker 2: has just a really interesting story. She talks in today's 34 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 2: episode about the difficult relationship she had with food from 35 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 2: an early age, actually developing disordered eating patterns as early 36 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: as seven years old. She tells me about how she 37 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 2: got through that chapter in her life and the steps 38 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 2: that she took to overcome this disordered eating, as well 39 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 2: as what it was like to seek out other interventional 40 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 2: therapies for various substance abuse. Today, she is living a 41 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 2: much healthier and happier lifestyle, also a vegan lifestyle, which 42 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 2: we get into a lot into today's episode. I had 43 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 2: so many questions about that, and she gives us all 44 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 2: the details on her first impressions of veganism, what it's 45 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 2: like for her to be working for herself, how she 46 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 2: makes money as a blogger, and we talk about what 47 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,679 Speaker 2: it's like to be in a long distance relationship kind 48 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 2: of crazy, especially right now with all the travel restrictions 49 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: and her partner living in Amsterdam. I really like this conversation. 50 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 2: It felt like sitting down with a good friend, and 51 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 2: I know that you all are going to dig it 52 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 2: as well. Thank you again for all the support over 53 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 2: the weekend. The love was real and I'm so grateful 54 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 2: for this community. If you like what you are listening to, 55 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 2: and I hope that you do, please make sure to 56 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 2: head on in to the iTunes store and leave a 57 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 2: positive review. It only takes a few minutes. It's an 58 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,640 Speaker 2: easy way to support both me and the podcast, and 59 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 2: it means the world. Also keep up with Hurdle on 60 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 2: the socials at Hurdle Podcast and I am over at 61 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 2: Emily Abody and of course links to the Super Secret 62 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 2: Hurdlers Facebook group and the Weekly Hurdle newsletter and book 63 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 2: club registration. So many ways for us to connect. All 64 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 2: of those links are in the show notes. Keeping a 65 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 2: short and sweet this week. With that, let's get to 66 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:19,039 Speaker 2: hurdling Today. I am sitting down with Remy Park. She 67 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 2: is a health and wellness blogger behind me wildly popular 68 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 2: site Veggikins. How are you doing today, Remy, I'm good. 69 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: I'm doing well. It's a rainy day, but you know, 70 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: things have been worse, so I'm not complaining. 71 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 2: It is a little bit gloomy here today. It's also, 72 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 2: you know, with Corona and not using public transportation as much. 73 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 2: It's funny because you and I are technically in the 74 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 2: same city, but it just feels like we are so 75 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 2: far away because huh. 76 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: Right, we're a central park away. 77 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 2: Just a central park away. And I do have to 78 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 2: tell you confession the other day when you sent me 79 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 2: a voice note to chat about us setting this up. 80 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 2: I am not typically a voice note person, but for you, 81 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 2: I didn't mind it. 82 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 1: I love that. 83 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 84 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: I find that people have a lover hate relationship with it. 85 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,720 Speaker 1: It's either you love it or you hate it, and 86 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: I figured maybe she'll be into it. She's a podcaster. 87 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: Mostly it's laziness on my part because my thumbs are 88 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: on the phone all day, so I'm like, I'll just 89 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: see what happens. 90 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 2: I am hearing the sound of my own voice quite 91 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 2: a bit, if we're being honest, But away from the 92 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 2: voice notes, I want to get into your story. I 93 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 2: want to hear about your upbringing. Today, you are constantly 94 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 2: surrounded by food. You have a pretty stellar wellness routine. 95 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 2: I know you have a regular yoga practice. So talk 96 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 2: to me about what life was like for you growing 97 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 2: up and if you were always this interested in health, wellness, 98 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 2: and specifically food. 99 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: So I grew up in the New Jersey and New 100 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 1: York area until I was about seven, and then my 101 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: family decided to start doing this thing where my dad 102 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: would work overseas. The first move was to Taiwan, and 103 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,479 Speaker 1: at the time I had no idea where it was. 104 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,600 Speaker 1: I kind of thought that maybe it was like close 105 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: to Texas. I really didn't understand the scope of like 106 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: what it meant to be moving overseas, and I hadn't 107 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: really traveled outside of this area either, so it was 108 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: definitely a shock to me. We moved there, and then 109 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,720 Speaker 1: we moved a couple of other times within Asia, so 110 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: we've lived in spent a good chunk of time in Thailand, 111 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 1: and most recently, my parents have been in Shanghai for 112 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: like the last ten years or so. So my upbringing 113 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: was definitely a little bit abnormal in the sense that 114 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:38,359 Speaker 1: we moved very often, but we also weren't living with 115 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 1: the locals. We were kind of in this expat bubble. 116 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,720 Speaker 1: I went to international schools there, so I was still 117 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,480 Speaker 1: learning in English, but I also learned Mandarin on the side, 118 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: for example. And I guess it was pretty cool because 119 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 1: my classmates were from all over the world, so a 120 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: lot of them were from the US, but you'd also 121 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: have European families there. You'd have other Asian country families 122 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: in that country, like also living as expats. It was 123 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 1: definitely a little bit of a bubble in a sense 124 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: because I no longer really felt like I was super American, 125 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: but I also knew that I wasn't fitting into the 126 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: local culture, so that was different. And as it relates 127 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: to food, I was always a really picky kid. I mean, 128 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: I grew up with like the process fast food things. 129 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: I used to eat. Spam was one of my favorite foods. Surprisingly, 130 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: I loved like the really crappy hot dogs not like 131 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: nice Franks or anything like that. But the more process 132 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: the better. It was like just something that I genuinely 133 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: enjoyed when I was younger living here, and when I 134 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: moved overseas, like around the age of seven, I actually 135 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: developed an eating disorder, And so I would say that 136 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: I definitely wasn't a fan of food growing up. It 137 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: was something that I had a lot of fear around. 138 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: I think that it was maybe a combination of just 139 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: genetics and this need for control and a time where 140 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: my life was changing so much. But food was a 141 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: struggle for me until about I want to say, high school, 142 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: and it started pretty young. I think that's something that 143 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 1: was kind of hard for me to understand, was that 144 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: it could start so young. I think when we think 145 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: of eating disorders, we think it's something that happens kind 146 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: of in your adolescence or your teen years. But for me, 147 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: it was pretty young. And it wasn't until around high 148 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: school college time that I just couldn't keep up with 149 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: it anymore. I wanted to still be athletic, but I 150 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: just didn't have the energy so stopped doing, you know, 151 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: most of the sports that I enjoyed, and by the 152 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: time I got to college, I was like, Okay, this 153 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 1: is my chance to really take food into my own 154 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: hands and really get a grip on like nourishment and 155 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: feeding myself and having a healthy relationship with food. So around, 156 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: I guess between high school and college was when I 157 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: decided to go vegan, and I had started my recovery 158 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 1: process before that. But it was interesting because I was 159 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: a little bit concerned that veganism would be restrictive, which 160 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: is not something you typically want to do if you're 161 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: recovering from a restrictive eating disorder. But I actually found 162 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: that it strengthened my relationship with food a lot, because 163 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: I felt like it gave me purpose to eat food 164 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: made me feel really good knowing that I was having 165 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: a positive impact on the environment, you know, the lives 166 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: of animals for example, and also just the physical feeling of, 167 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,479 Speaker 1: you know, eating so many fruits and veggies that I 168 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 1: never wanted to eat before. You know, there's also less 169 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,800 Speaker 1: labeling involved when it comes to like just produce, so 170 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 1: I found that to be really healing for me, and 171 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: that's kind of how the blog started. So it's funny, 172 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 1: but my relationship with food has never been great until 173 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: I started my blog, and I think people may assume 174 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: otherwise when they hear, like, oh, you're a food blogger, 175 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: but that's kind of the origin of everything. 176 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, so we're jumping right into the swing of 177 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 2: things here. Let's definitely stop and chat about being seven 178 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 2: years old with an eating disorder. I mean, what do 179 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 2: you think, beside an influx of change brought that on 180 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 2: for you. 181 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: I definitely think there is a biological component, because I 182 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: know that in my family there is depression, anxiety OCD. 183 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: I also have diagnosed OCD, and it's kind of along 184 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: that spectrum. OCD and anxiety and ANAREXITYA they all kind 185 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: of happen a lot together. It's very common to see 186 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: that diagnosed and that comorbidity. But I think that a 187 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: big thing for me too was moving from the US 188 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: to a country where a processed food wasn't as big 189 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,479 Speaker 1: of a thing. I definitely remember noticing that, like I 190 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: felt like I still had this kind of baby fat 191 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: that nobody else had once I moved to Taiwan, and 192 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,680 Speaker 1: it was maybe just the difference in the culture and 193 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: what foods were available. You know, you couldn't really find 194 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: processed hot dogs over there or like rice crispy treats, 195 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: for example. So maybe it's just like this difference in lifestyle, 196 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: but I felt like I was different and it was 197 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,960 Speaker 1: the first time I noticed my body and felt big. 198 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: And then, you know, at the same time, I was 199 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: taking gymnastics and I was doing ballet, and I feel 200 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: like those are sports that inherently just make you a 201 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: little bit more self conscious because it's very much focused 202 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: on like the form, the shape, the line, and you're 203 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: wearing these leotards. So I think it was maybe a 204 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 1: combination of everything, but I do believe that part of 205 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 1: it was biology. But yeah, it's just kind of a 206 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: little bit of everything, I guess. 207 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, thank you so much for sharing, And so 208 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 2: talk to me about what disordered eating looked like for you. 209 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: I remember in the beginning it was a very obsessive 210 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 1: kind of counting situation, so it was focusing on the numbers, 211 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 1: the calories. I would eat, like just cucumbers, for example. 212 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: So I would eat food, but it would be in 213 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 1: very small quantities and it would be very solid focused, 214 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 1: kind of like the typical foods that you know, diet 215 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: culture would have you believe are like the best for 216 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: whether it's like burning negative calories whatever that means, like 217 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: things like that. I really bought into it, and it 218 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 1: was this obsession with cardio kind of a very classic case. 219 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 1: And I mean at the time, I don't think even 220 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: my parents who realized anything was wrong, because at that age, 221 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 1: I don't think it's something they expect to become an issue. 222 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: But I remember that the school had called my parents 223 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 1: and said like, hey, it's a little bit concerning because 224 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: the way that your daughter's eating is now, you know, 225 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: off on her friends and they're only having salads for lunch, 226 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:06,479 Speaker 1: and we just feel like that's not okay. So I'm 227 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,439 Speaker 1: really thankful that that happened. I think at the time 228 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 1: I was definitely in denial as well. But it was 229 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 1: obvious when I got older, because you know, my friends 230 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 1: around me, like teens adolescents, like they weren't stupid, they 231 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: definitely knew what was going on. And I noticed that 232 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 1: my energy level was just I couldn't keep up anymore. 233 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: But it was something that I was in denial about 234 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,200 Speaker 1: for a really long time. 235 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 2: And when your parents were brought into the loop, I'm curious, 236 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 2: what if anything changed at home. 237 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 1: I think that what changed a lot was breakfast and dinner. 238 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: You know, Lunch was definitely where I had the most control, 239 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: and that was a big issue for me, and I 240 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: think why it was so difficult, And I was definitely 241 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: lying about it. And I think that's something that's really 242 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: common when you have a disorder, like an addiction to 243 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: whether it's restricting or to substances, that you are a 244 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,959 Speaker 1: very good liar because you're lying to other people, but 245 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: you're also lying to yourself about what's going on. And yeah, 246 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: I would you know, emphasize like, oh, I'm having like 247 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 1: a huge lunch, I'm having like the mac and cheese 248 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: at school, all these things and come home and say, oh, 249 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,719 Speaker 1: I don't have a big appetite, or I had a 250 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,480 Speaker 1: snack with my friend after school. So there was a 251 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: lot of dishonesty at the time. And it wasn't until 252 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: college that I was like, I really need to get 253 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 1: my shit together because I don't have parents that are 254 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 1: going to look out for me anymore and make sure 255 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: I eat my breakfast and dinner and I have no 256 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: one to lie to anymore. It's just me, you know. 257 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 2: So then when did you come back to the United States? 258 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: So I came back for college, and that was when 259 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: I started therapy specifically for my eating disorder. We actually 260 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 1: had kind of these free credits to go to therapy 261 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: twice in a semester, and I took advantage of it, 262 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,679 Speaker 1: and you know how it is. I kind of went 263 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 1: for just anxiety, but she was like, all right, let's 264 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: start at the beginning, and very quickly it was obvious 265 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,679 Speaker 1: that I had some existing issues that were a lot 266 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: more alarming than just the general anxiety, and so we 267 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 1: started working on it. And that's really when I kind 268 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 1: of got my stuff together. And initially the veganism was 269 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: something she was a little bit come learned about, which 270 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,679 Speaker 1: fair enough because it's not the most inclusive diet sometimes, 271 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: but I think she realized that it was something that 272 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: I was really connecting to and made me feel good 273 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: about food and cooking. And that's how I started my 274 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 1: Instagram accounts. So it used to be private, or I 275 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: thought it was private. I didn't really know you can 276 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: make a private account at the time. This was like 277 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: maybe six years ago, and I would post these recipes 278 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: that I was trying these different meals to show my 279 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: therapist that I was being compliant with my meal plan. Basically, 280 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: at the time because I still wanted to get through 281 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: school and I knew that if I were to commit 282 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: to like an inpatient situation, I would kind of be 283 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: behind all my friends in terms of like graduation and 284 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 1: getting a job. So something that I was really determined 285 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: to work on while still completing school, and that was 286 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 1: the origin of now Vegikan's. 287 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 2: Blog Veggiecon's blog. I love the name of it. What 288 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 2: were your initial thoughts about veganism and going vegan because 289 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 2: there are a lot of controversial opinions. 290 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 1: So I definitely had my reservations. I think the main 291 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: thing for me, though, was knowing that I had a 292 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: pretty bad intolerance to dairy because anytime I would eat pizza, 293 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: and funny enough, anytime I would visit my boyfriend in Amsterdam, 294 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 1: where it's all about cheese and milk, I would have 295 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: these insane stomach aches and I just couldn't figure it out. 296 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was because I was like 297 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 1: the world's biggest cheese lover at the time. So I 298 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 1: decided to kind of experiment and I went dairy free 299 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: for just a week, and I felt incredible. It was 300 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 1: like the best feeling to just have like normal digestion, 301 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, this is incredible. And then I 302 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm just going to kind of 303 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: experiment and see what this vegan stuff is all about. 304 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 1: Because I tried a recipe. It was a dairy free 305 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: mac and cheese that I found on this website and 306 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 1: they were like, it's vegan, and I was like, what 307 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: does that even mean? Like, of course it's vegan, there's 308 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: no meat in it. So once I kind of started 309 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: to familiarize myself with more blogs and I would read through, 310 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: you know, those long intro blurbs about the recipe, I 311 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 1: was really curious about, like what veganism was, and that's 312 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: kind of when I started doing my own research. The 313 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: most appealing thing to me, I would say, was the 314 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: impact on the environment, and of course like the ethic 315 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 1: behind it. But those things I didn't learn until later. 316 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: So initially it was very much a selfish choice. It 317 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: was because I wanted to feel good and my digestion 318 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: was going well. I loved the recipes and I was like, 319 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:15,080 Speaker 1: this is great. I have like fewer breakouts, less indigestion, 320 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 1: And I think the education kind of came later, and 321 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 1: that's when I really started to connect with what it 322 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: was all about. But in the beginning, I was like, 323 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,000 Speaker 1: it seems unnecessary, it seems a little extreme. And my 324 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: parents are Asian, so to them it was like, well, 325 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: what can you eat? Like you can't eat anything that 326 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: is our cultural food. So there's a lot of judgment 327 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 1: in the family for sure. But I think the more 328 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: I learned about it, and the more I shared with 329 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: my family about it, the more it made sense to me, 330 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: and the more I felt good about what I was eating. 331 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 2: I feel like you never hear from people that try 332 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 2: going vegan and didn't love it. Like everyone you hear 333 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 2: about that talks about being vegan is like raving about 334 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 2: it and talking about the skin benefits and the body 335 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 2: benefits and how great everything is that is plant based. 336 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 2: And I mean, I'm sure in your experience you have 337 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 2: talked to your fair share of individuals who have had 338 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 2: some sort of an adverse reaction or did not like 339 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 2: being vegan. 340 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I mean even just my sister thinking about her, 341 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,640 Speaker 1: she can't eat nuts, and she can't eat a couple 342 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: of other fruits and veggies, and for her it's really 343 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: difficult because a lot of it is kind of making 344 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,080 Speaker 1: these substitute recipes out of nuts seeds to make a 345 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: faux dairy, for example. So it's not something that I 346 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 1: feel like would necessarily work for everyone. Like I would 347 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 1: love to believe that and say it, and I know 348 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 1: some people say it all the time, like anyone can 349 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 1: be vegan. I think it is definitely a privilege too 350 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: to have access to fresh fruits and veggies, And that's 351 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,239 Speaker 1: something people often don't think about. So whether it's like 352 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: from a standpoint of like whether it's physically possible for 353 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: you to, you know, spend time cooking and have access 354 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: to fruits and veggies or afford that kind of food, 355 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,480 Speaker 1: or whether it's just like a matter of what you 356 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 1: can eat and how you react to let's say beans, 357 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 1: I know that's a big one for a lot of 358 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: people or not, and seeds just like a ton of veggies. 359 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 1: Some people do have a little bit of like bloating 360 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 1: with that. I think it is a hard thing to 361 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,760 Speaker 1: just kind of make a blanket statement and say anybody 362 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: can be But one thing I try to say is 363 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,159 Speaker 1: that you know, as long as you're open to it, 364 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 1: and you're willing to eat maybe like a vegan meal 365 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: once a week, I think that's awesome, And I would 366 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 1: never really judge anyone else for what they're eating. And 367 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: I think that's something that when the vegan community is 368 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: a little bit of a maybe an issue, like we 369 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: do get a bad rep for being very preachy and like, 370 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, everyone needs to be vegan and if 371 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 1: you're not, you're not doing it right. But you know, 372 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: just within my own family, I understand that it doesn't 373 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 1: work for everyone. So I've never been about that life. 374 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: You know, I'd rather just cook for you, share some 375 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: food with you. If you like it, that's awesome. If not, 376 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: like you know, it's whatever. 377 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I mean, everyone has their preference from what 378 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 2: they're eating to what they're wearing. So okay, let's let's 379 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,800 Speaker 2: wind it back to your parents. So your parents at 380 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 2: this time are still living in Shanghai, Is that right, 381 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 2: m And how was that for you? 382 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,440 Speaker 1: You know, I think it was kind of a big 383 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,160 Speaker 1: growing point for me because it was the first time 384 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: I was really really alone, aside from maybe like a 385 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Speaker 1: roommate every once in a while, I really had to 386 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,239 Speaker 1: take care of myself, and it taught me a lot 387 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: about just I guess myself. It's like you have no 388 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: one to kind of lie to but yourself at that point, 389 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 1: and I really kind of got tired of my own 390 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: BS and I wanted to do well. I wanted to graduate, 391 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: and I wanted to kind of grow up and be 392 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: an adult. And I was like, how can I focus 393 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 1: on anything or growth if I'm focused on restricting myself. 394 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 1: And I did feel like I was limiting myself from 395 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,680 Speaker 1: a lot of things that I wanted to do and 396 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,919 Speaker 1: to experience because I was so focused and obsessed with food, 397 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,120 Speaker 1: even things like socializing, for example, And that's a big 398 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: thing when you have an eating disorder. It's like it 399 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: can cause a lot of anxiety eating out, eating with 400 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 1: other people, and you know, knowing that when you're in 401 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: college you have to eat at a cafeteria like every day, 402 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: I didn't have the luxury of like being awkward about food. 403 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 1: It was like, look, I've got to get a this, 404 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: I've got to focus on school. And that was super 405 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,920 Speaker 1: helpful for me too also to see that I guess 406 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 1: there was a big emphasis on eating and loving your body. 407 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 1: Like the school that I went to was an all 408 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: women's college here in the city, and not necessarily to 409 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: say that, like an all Women's college means it's like 410 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 1: a body positive environment. But I did feel like it 411 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:27,119 Speaker 1: was a very inclusive, diverse environment. There wasn't really a 412 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,439 Speaker 1: lot of like negative self talk, and I found that 413 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: to be very helpful too, just like the environment I 414 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: was in was the perfect place for healing. 415 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 2: I love hearing that. And I mean, whether it's an 416 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,880 Speaker 2: eating disorder or some other hurdle, a lot of this stuff, 417 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 2: especially at the beginning, when you're trying to get through 418 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 2: it, it can really feel like everest. I'm curious to know 419 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 2: if you can articulate any of the smaller steps that 420 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 2: you took in your journey to recovery that really made 421 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,359 Speaker 2: a major difference. 422 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 1: So I actually I think this is somewhat unrelated, but 423 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 1: I started attending meetings AA meetings when I was in 424 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,479 Speaker 1: the city, which is something I didn't have access to 425 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:13,360 Speaker 1: in Shanghai, and I kind of approached my healing as 426 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,440 Speaker 1: this like holistic journey because I knew that it was 427 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 1: more than just the eating that I needed to focus 428 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: on if I wanted to sort of heal. I had 429 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 1: had issues with addiction to substances and alcohol, and so 430 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: I was kind of at this point where I wanted 431 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 1: to heal from all of it at once, and I 432 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,679 Speaker 1: was going to therapy. I attended AA meetings. But I 433 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: found the AA meetings to be really helpful because it 434 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,440 Speaker 1: was the first time that I felt like I had 435 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,160 Speaker 1: this community. And even though at the time, I would 436 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: say the drinking for me was maybe the most under 437 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 1: control at that time, I could relate to a lot 438 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,399 Speaker 1: of what people were talking about and just feeling like 439 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: they had no control over their lives, that they wanted 440 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 1: to grow up, they wanted to be the person in control. 441 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: So that was really helpful for me, just being in 442 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: a group therapy setting. And I think for anyone who's 443 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 1: maybe going through anything, whether it's you know, just a 444 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 1: little bit anxiety or something a little bit more intense, 445 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: that having a community that can relate to what you're 446 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,040 Speaker 1: going through is super helpful. Maybe now an online setting 447 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 1: would be more appropriate, given you know, the state of 448 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 1: the world, but that was something that was really helpful 449 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 1: for me. And then also Instagram, because even though I 450 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: wasn't comfortable with telling any of my friends for some reason, 451 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: I was super comfortable just like posting to internet strangers. 452 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,920 Speaker 1: And that's actually a big reason why I'm very comfortable 453 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 1: being open about mental health and things like that, because 454 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: that's kind of how it started. It was sort of 455 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 1: like an online diary for me at the time. So 456 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: if you can find some kind of outlet, I feel 457 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 1: like that's really important, and it could be anonymous if 458 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 1: you want to, you know, create like a blog where 459 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 1: it's just you talking to yourself and like you know, 460 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,400 Speaker 1: letting it go, or finding maybe like an online pen 461 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: power or something like that. I just feel like physically 462 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 1: expressing it is a really helpful way and like letting 463 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,640 Speaker 1: things go. So those are some things that were really 464 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: helpful for me. And then with food specifically, I actually 465 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 1: think that cooking was something that really helped me to 466 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,159 Speaker 1: connect with my food on a physical level. It's like 467 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: you know, massaging your kale, for example, and like really 468 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: feeling the food, thinking about where it came from. Having 469 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: appreciation too for food, because when I was in college 470 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: it was mostly dining hall food and what money that 471 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 1: i'd make on the side from my college job, I 472 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: wanted to spend on like produce and things like that. 473 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: I learned to appreciate so much more the value of 474 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 1: like good food, and I think that was really helpful. Too, 475 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: So the physical relationship with food I think is important, 476 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: having some kind of community if you can, and then 477 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,760 Speaker 1: also just expressing yourself, not holding things in and just 478 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: letting it go. 479 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to give some love 480 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 2: to my sponsor, Athletic Greens. You all know Athletic Greens 481 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 2: is a regular part of my routine, yes, but on 482 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 2: days like today where I am so sore I have 483 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 2: literally moved from my bed for a total of maybe 484 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 2: twelve minutes. I know how extra imported it is on 485 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 2: days like today to get my greens in. And that's 486 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 2: because so many of the seventy five whole food sourced ingredients, 487 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 2: including vitamins and minerals and adaptagens, they support recovery and 488 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 2: it's something I really need right now. Plus each scoop 489 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,000 Speaker 2: of the Greenspotterer, it's got the anti acid and equivalent 490 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 2: of twelve servings of fruits and vegetables. Who doesn't want that? 491 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 2: As well as prebiotics and probiotics and so much good 492 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 2: stuff for me. It is a no brainer, And if 493 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,640 Speaker 2: you have yet to try it, I'm telling you there 494 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 2: is no time like the present. So I've got an 495 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 2: offer for you head on over to Athleticogreens dot com 496 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 2: slash hurdle and get a free year supply of Vitamin 497 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 2: D which it's getting colder out there, we're not outside 498 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 2: as much and it's critical for your overall well being 499 00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 2: to make sure you're getting that in on the regular. 500 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:04,439 Speaker 2: Head on over to Athleticgreens dot com slash hurdle I 501 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 2: get a Vitamin D three K two Wellness Bundle with 502 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:14,199 Speaker 2: your first purchase, no code necessary. Let's get back to it. 503 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,119 Speaker 2: When you went to your first AA meeting, do you 504 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 2: remember how old you were? I think I might have. 505 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 1: Been in sophomore year. I actually went with a friend 506 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: who at the time was really struggling and was like, 507 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 1: will you come with me to support me? And then 508 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,679 Speaker 1: I sat through the meeting and realized like, wow, I 509 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 1: needed this, you know. 510 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 2: Not you me? Yeah, And it's really impressive that you 511 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 2: had the mindset and the self awareness to say yes 512 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 2: to go with your friend to this meeting. I mean, 513 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 2: when I think about the college experience, and there's just 514 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 2: so many integral parts to it, from going to the 515 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 2: dining hall but also of course going out socializing. So 516 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,040 Speaker 2: to think to yourself, this is something I need to 517 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 2: do for me, and I need to do it now 518 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,960 Speaker 2: is pretty mature and maybe beyond your years. 519 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really grateful that my friend brought me as 520 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 1: like the support. And that's another thing too, is a 521 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: lot of people that are in the meetings are family members. 522 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: They're not necessarily the addicts, and it's helpful to hear 523 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: from other people's perspectives to to think about the way 524 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: that you're affecting your loved ones. So that was definitely 525 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,679 Speaker 1: very eye opening for me and just having the access 526 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,320 Speaker 1: to that. I think that's one thing that I'm so 527 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 1: grateful for about New York City is that we just 528 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 1: have everything here. But you know, I always think it's 529 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: great to just try everything once. I'm always open to things. 530 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: So I feel like that was really life changing for me. 531 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 1: And whether it's just an unhealthy relationship with kind of 532 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,920 Speaker 1: anything in life, I think a meetings can be really helpful. 533 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 2: So you start to share more and more info with 534 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 2: strangers and you get more open in this process. Is 535 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 2: there a specific moment or time where you realize exactly 536 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,919 Speaker 2: what it is that you're doing and how vulnerable you 537 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 2: are being with these people that you do not know. 538 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 1: So what's kind of funny is I actually grew up 539 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: with Tumblr. I don't know if you ever had Tumblr 540 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:13,919 Speaker 1: when you were younger. 541 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,640 Speaker 2: Of course I had a live journal. 542 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: Right, so I was on Tumblr and that was like 543 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 1: my first anonymous like thing where I would like, very 544 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 1: openly talk about my feelings. And that was kind of 545 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,200 Speaker 1: when I was going through it. But when I was healing, 546 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, let's do Instagram. It's a visual 547 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,720 Speaker 1: I can share my meals. And I really didn't tell 548 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,960 Speaker 1: anyone about it until I connected it to my Facebook, 549 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 1: not realizing what that meant, and I followed like all 550 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 1: my friends and I was like, Okay, this sucks. But 551 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: it was great practice because the way that I was 552 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 1: so open on Instagram, I wanted to be the same 553 00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: level of open and with people I knew in real life. 554 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,280 Speaker 1: And obviously that took a lot of practice, but in 555 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: a way it held me accountable because you know, I 556 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,000 Speaker 1: couldn't be talking about my recovery and then deny it 557 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 1: in real life. So I found that it was a 558 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: really good stepping stone also to just communicating with my 559 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: parents about it, because a lot of the issues that 560 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 1: I had with substances and alcohol, they had no idea 561 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: about until I'd already recovered, so I actually felt it 562 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 1: to be really good practice. It's definitely scary, but the 563 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: worst thing that could happen is that you connect your 564 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,320 Speaker 1: Facebook and everyone finds out. If you do it the 565 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 1: right way and you're smart about it, I'm like I was, 566 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,920 Speaker 1: you can stay anonymous, and it's just a really great 567 00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:19,959 Speaker 1: expressive outlet. 568 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, especially when you're younger. I mean, I 569 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 2: journaled about everything and everything on my blog, so tell 570 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 2: me then, what were you writing about it? First? 571 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: So it was only food. There were no pictures of 572 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,479 Speaker 1: me because it was posted be anonymous at first, so 573 00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,120 Speaker 1: there were just kind of like bowls of food meals, 574 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: and it would be multiple posts to day because I 575 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,720 Speaker 1: really was kind of logging everything that I was eating 576 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: to my one follower, which was my therapist at the time, 577 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: and it was purely food until stories came out, and 578 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: I think that's when I started experimenting with like posting 579 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 1: a picture of myself. And after people had found out 580 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 1: that I had the Instagram, I was like, well, it's 581 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 1: not a secret anymore, so why don't I just post 582 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 1: pictures of myself as well? And I think that's kind 583 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,000 Speaker 1: of what added in the human element to it. It 584 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: did get a little more scary, of course, to share 585 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,720 Speaker 1: as deeply as I would before and now that there 586 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: was like a face to all the content. But I 587 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: think that's kind of what bridged the offline and online vulnerabilities, 588 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,920 Speaker 1: like being able to translate that into real life too. 589 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 2: As someone who also has a following, I can totally relate, 590 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 2: although it's nowhere near the size of yours, but just 591 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 2: this concept that you are now sharing things with so 592 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 2: many individuals, and at times it can feel really comfortable 593 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 2: and really normal. But at other moments, when you're going 594 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 2: through stuff in your personal life, you are dealing with 595 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,479 Speaker 2: things that you might not be talking about openly on 596 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 2: your forum. I'd love to hear what you think. But 597 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 2: for me, in those times, I really look to retreat 598 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 2: and pull back a little bit, kind of in a 599 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 2: way to protect myself. 600 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely. I for a while, I think I kind 601 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 1: of started to wonder whether my value was in my 602 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,400 Speaker 1: healing for a while, Like I kind of felt like, 603 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,239 Speaker 1: if I'm not posting about my healing or if I'm 604 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 1: actually having a good day, is anyone actually interested in that? 605 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:13,719 Speaker 1: You know what? I mean, because it's kind of like, 606 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,200 Speaker 1: not the drama of it, but it's it's almost like 607 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,200 Speaker 1: a story. I think that people were following because I 608 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,800 Speaker 1: would be pretty detailed in talking about my day to day, 609 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 1: my morning to evening, how I was feeling, and things 610 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: like that. And for a while, I was thinking to myself, like, 611 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: if I pull back even a little bit and stop 612 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: sharing about, you know, how things are going, are people 613 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: still going to feel engaged and connect to what I'm saying? 614 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: Will people only value it if I'm like talking about 615 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: the struggle? And this is something that I've had kind 616 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 1: of a back and forth with on the topic of 617 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 1: mental health because I don't really want to make every 618 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 1: single post about mental health, and I would notice that 619 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,640 Speaker 1: certain posts people would really feel moved by and connect 620 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,800 Speaker 1: to more like the deeper it is, almost, but it 621 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: didn't feel authentic to me to get so deep into 622 00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 1: every photo, you know. At the same time, I'm not 623 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: the type of person to just post an emoji to 624 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,239 Speaker 1: caption and call it a day, but sometimes I do 625 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: want to share something a little bit more light and easier. 626 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,640 Speaker 1: Maybe I just like the way a photo looks, so 627 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: over the years, I have had to kind of find 628 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: a balance between that, because yeah, at a certain point, 629 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, I'm not a writer, but I do 630 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 1: feel like I'm kind of digging sometimes to look for 631 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 1: something that I can share it and that it's like 632 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,800 Speaker 1: deep and emotional and relatable. But I think now I'm 633 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: in a good place where, you know, I'm comfortable sharing 634 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: the food every now and then, if I'm having a 635 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,680 Speaker 1: bad day or feel call to share something that's a 636 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: little deeper or talk about mental health, I'll do it. 637 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: But I also don't feel like that is what my 638 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: worth is on social media, which is kind of a 639 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: weird thing to say, but I definitely felt that way 640 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: for a while. 641 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 2: I don't think it's weird. I can definitely relate to that. 642 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 2: And when you say talk about your mental health in 643 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 2: your posts, what really were you getting into specifically, So, in. 644 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: The last couple of years, I started talking more about 645 00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: my sobriety, which is not something that I talked about 646 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 1: initially because it was mainly focused on the food and 647 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: the eating. But back in the day would be definitely 648 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 1: very explicit, you know, talking about sort of disordered thought patterns, 649 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 1: disordered behavior, any kind of relapses or just fall back 650 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 1: into like bad eating patterns, for example, Whereas now with 651 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 1: a larger audience, I'm definitely also more conscious that, like, 652 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:25,600 Speaker 1: there are certain things I can't share, as I guess, 653 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 1: in such a raw way because it can be very 654 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: triggering for people as well. So that's also like a 655 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,840 Speaker 1: filter that I have to keep in mind. But when 656 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,720 Speaker 1: it comes to like alcohol and substance abuse, that's something 657 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: that I shared a couple of years ago for the 658 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 1: first time, and I just kind of did a whole 659 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 1: blog post series about it because I thought to myself, 660 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,320 Speaker 1: you know, this is a good way to separate it 661 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: a little bit and if you're interested, you can go 662 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: read and if not, you know, ignore it kind of thing. 663 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,320 Speaker 1: So I put that on the website and it ended 664 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 1: up being like ten blog posts, I think, where I 665 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 1: just really went into a little bit about my story 666 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,280 Speaker 1: in general, and then also tips that I had for 667 00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 1: people who maybe wanted to deal with the social anxiety 668 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 1: of being sober, for example, or what can I drink 669 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,239 Speaker 1: during the holidays that isn't alcoholic. So I ended up 670 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: being a great, you know, way to kind of create 671 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,480 Speaker 1: content in a different light. But at the same time, 672 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that I share, you know, like the 673 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,800 Speaker 1: nitty gritty as much. I do know that some people 674 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,640 Speaker 1: will ask me those things, and I just kind of 675 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: feel like that's not a detail that's important to where 676 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,239 Speaker 1: I am now, or I just feel like it's not 677 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 1: relevant to share, or it's not a good thing to 678 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 1: share online. That's more of like sort of the drama 679 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 1: and the story, you know what I mean. So I 680 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: have a filter up now, but I also am pretty 681 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: open about it, like it's not how do you say, Like, 682 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: it's not like censored, but it's also not going to 683 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 1: tell you like, you know, the minute gory details. 684 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:49,719 Speaker 2: You mentioned the word relapse, And oftentimes I think that 685 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 2: on social media, these quote unquote failures are things that 686 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 2: individuals may not want to talk about because they don't 687 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 2: want to admit perhaps when something hasn't gone swimmingly or 688 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,320 Speaker 2: perfectly or what have you. So I'm curious if you 689 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,280 Speaker 2: are willing to share any specifics about a time during 690 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 2: this struggle that really stuck out to you as extra challenging. 691 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, actually was when I first started doing this full time. 692 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: So I had my corporate job and had been about 693 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,280 Speaker 1: three months of working there, and it was right before Christmas. 694 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 1: So when I took my kind of vacation for the winter, 695 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 1: I actually decided to go to Thailand to see my 696 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,799 Speaker 1: parents for Christmas. And around that time, I was really 697 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: kind of at my end. And I think it's really 698 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 1: just sleep when my bases aren't covered in terms of 699 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 1: like sleep nutrition, you know. If I don't have like 700 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,759 Speaker 1: those things taken care of, I feel like I'm a 701 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: lot more vulnerable to bad behavior and like relapse and 702 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: things like that. It's really just like the mind body connection. 703 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 1: So there was a point in time where I kind 704 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 1: of felt like I'm at my end. I'm not sleeping 705 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,359 Speaker 1: enough because of this job, and I just can't keep 706 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 1: it up anymore. I'm on the verge of relapse. And 707 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 1: I knew that, and I didn't really share it at 708 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: the time because I didn't know what was gonna happen. 709 00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,239 Speaker 1: I was like, maybe I should just stop posting as 710 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 1: much in case this really goes south and I am 711 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 1: not the person who I'm appearing to be on social 712 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 1: media at this like wellness person, you know. And I 713 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 1: decided to fly back to Thailand, and then when I 714 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,320 Speaker 1: came back, I quit my job. I went to rehab 715 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,200 Speaker 1: again and I really just focused on my healing and 716 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,400 Speaker 1: I had no intention of doing this full time actually, 717 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,239 Speaker 1: but it happened because I had the time, and I 718 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:30,040 Speaker 1: think because it was the mode of expression that I 719 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,880 Speaker 1: was most used to when going through something. So eventually 720 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 1: I kind of shared that that was a really hard 721 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 1: time for me, during which I really felt like I 722 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,040 Speaker 1: was going to relapse and I did definitely feel like 723 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:42,400 Speaker 1: I was a little bit of a failure. And I 724 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,799 Speaker 1: think it was harder too because it was such a 725 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: huge change in my life from like having a job 726 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,279 Speaker 1: to not knowing whether I could actually do this full time. 727 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 1: I had no plan at all, but that was a 728 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,960 Speaker 1: really powerful moment for me because of course, as a result, 729 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: I now do this full time. So I try to 730 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,040 Speaker 1: look at every sort of low moment as an opportunity 731 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,799 Speaker 1: for growth. I don't know, if let's say, something were 732 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,839 Speaker 1: to happen like during COVID times, which it definitely did, 733 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,280 Speaker 1: Like I had a moment where I was like, jeezu, 734 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 1: this is terrible, Like I feel like I'm on the 735 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,840 Speaker 1: brink of depression. I kind of just want to drink 736 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't feel like that's something 737 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 1: that's helpful to share online right now for anybody whose 738 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 1: I'm sure we're all on the same boat, right so 739 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 1: I always kind of try to engage whether or not 740 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,680 Speaker 1: what I'm going to share is going to be helpful 741 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,319 Speaker 1: for anyone, or whether it's just like entertainment and like 742 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 1: the drama. I just I'm always really careful about that 743 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: because I do think it's important to be intentional about 744 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 1: what you're sharing. 745 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 2: It's interesting what you said about wanting to make sure 746 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,600 Speaker 2: that the content that you are sharing is authentic to 747 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,239 Speaker 2: who it is that you are, and you don't want 748 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 2: to be presenting yourself as this wellness guru when that's 749 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 2: not exactly how you are feeling today. Do you feel 750 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 2: as though what you are putting out into the universe 751 00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,799 Speaker 2: is very true to your values and who you are. 752 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely think so. In a way, I think 753 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,919 Speaker 1: I'm even more on online sometimes than in real life, 754 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 1: which is kind of funny. But now that you know 755 00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,600 Speaker 1: my friends know about it, it's like hard to hide 756 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 1: from them. I think it really forces me to be 757 00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 1: more open with them too, And I really like that 758 00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 1: about social media. I just don't know what it is 759 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,840 Speaker 1: about talking to my phone, but for some reason, it's 760 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,200 Speaker 1: so easy for me, whereas like sometimes when I'm sitting 761 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 1: across from someone, I just have no words. But I 762 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: think that is important, and authenticity in itself is something 763 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 1: that is a weird concept nowadays, right, I feel like 764 00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: there's this urgency for everyone to be authentic online, but like, 765 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: what does that even really mean? You know, it's like, 766 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 1: does it mean that you're digging for these like relatable 767 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,439 Speaker 1: moments to share or does it mean that you show 768 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,239 Speaker 1: up online how you would in real life. It's kind 769 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,799 Speaker 1: of a it's a weird subject. Like I don't really 770 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 1: know what authenticity means anymore online, but I just try 771 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,320 Speaker 1: to make sure that whatever it is I'm sharing online 772 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,000 Speaker 1: I would share with like my family and my closest friends, 773 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:52,920 Speaker 1: or the way that I'm showing up online is the 774 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: way that I show up for them in real life too. 775 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 2: Have you? I'm interested to hear about this from you. 776 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,560 Speaker 2: Ever put something that you know is raw and real 777 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,239 Speaker 2: online and it scares you a little bit, but you 778 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,400 Speaker 2: keep it there because you know it has the potential 779 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,400 Speaker 2: to help a lot of people. And then that you 780 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:15,279 Speaker 2: get into the aftermath, which is having conversations about what 781 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,319 Speaker 2: it is that you shared with your real friends, your 782 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 2: real family. Yeah, it can be a little bit sticky, right. 783 00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,480 Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my gosh, it's the scariest thing. 784 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,000 Speaker 2: Give me a while, you know. 785 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,720 Speaker 1: Well, so my grandparents, for example, wouldn't really read my blog. 786 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 1: It wasn't until you know, I guess they consider it 787 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:36,680 Speaker 1: to be something a little bit more legitimate and realize 788 00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,160 Speaker 1: that it's my job that they would start reading it. 789 00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 1: And then I kind of had this fear. I was like, 790 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 1: oh my god, I was not filtering myself to a 791 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 1: point where like I'd be comfortable with my grandparents reading this, 792 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,960 Speaker 1: you know, and even my parents, Like when I first 793 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,680 Speaker 1: started sharing about sobriety online, I had to have a 794 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,680 Speaker 1: conversation with them because I was like, well, look, guys, 795 00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,000 Speaker 1: I just posted this on the internet, so I want 796 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,520 Speaker 1: you to hear from me first. It was kind of 797 00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,279 Speaker 1: one of those moments, but it was good. It was 798 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,360 Speaker 1: like you just kind of kick the bucket from underneath me, 799 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: and you just got to do it, and you've got 800 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 1: to be true. Of course, I don't think my parents 801 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 1: my grandparents read everything that I'm sharing, but I always 802 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,000 Speaker 1: have those moments where I'm thinking, to myself, is this 803 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:15,520 Speaker 1: a little bit too much for my family to read. 804 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,000 Speaker 2: Totally, totally, and I mean an example for me on 805 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,040 Speaker 2: my side. I went to vote the other day and 806 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,400 Speaker 2: just I waited in line for six hours. It was 807 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 2: a really emotional experience. I came back and I shared 808 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,239 Speaker 2: this on my Instagram. And I know that there are 809 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:33,720 Speaker 2: people that I am friendly with. There are family members 810 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:37,120 Speaker 2: and so many others who may not see eye to 811 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:42,320 Speaker 2: eye with me on political issues and so many other things. 812 00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,680 Speaker 2: Yet what is really special is to be able to 813 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:52,160 Speaker 2: have a mutual respect and understanding about what it is 814 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:56,160 Speaker 2: that I do, and that everyone can be entitled to 815 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,359 Speaker 2: their own opinion and we can coexist regardless. 816 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 1: I like that, like a mutual respect. I think at 817 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 1: the end of the day, you know, we're all human, 818 00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,279 Speaker 1: and a lot of the things that I subscribe to 819 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,120 Speaker 1: I don't think most people would like. I don't often 820 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,920 Speaker 1: meet people who are vegan and sober and you know, 821 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 1: practice yoga and have a history of mental illness. But 822 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 1: I know that when I meet someone, they're very open 823 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 1: to it. And that's all that matters to me. As 824 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,360 Speaker 1: long as you're open to it and open minded and accepting, 825 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:25,919 Speaker 1: like we can be friends, you know, so I think 826 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,840 Speaker 1: that is definitely so important, just that mutual respect which 827 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,680 Speaker 1: sometimes people don't have online necessarily, but I find it 828 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 1: so key. 829 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,360 Speaker 2: When did your blog and your social media presence really 830 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:38,960 Speaker 2: start to catch fire. 831 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,960 Speaker 1: I want to say it was a couple years into 832 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: the food blogging because at the time, veganism wasn't all 833 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,959 Speaker 1: that popular, and it also was still considered a little 834 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 1: bit weird and out there. So the resources for recipes 835 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 1: were also pretty limited, and especially like Asian recipes, I 836 00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 1: feel like we're harder to find. It was a lot 837 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,960 Speaker 1: more Western, and you know, there is this notion sometimes 838 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: that veganism is for white people. That's something that people 839 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 1: say all the time, or they have this belief that 840 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,640 Speaker 1: it's for white people exclusively. Oh it's like, you know, 841 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:12,960 Speaker 1: it's this upper middle class thing, it's this and that. 842 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 1: So I found that it was really helpful to be 843 00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: able to connect with people from all kinds of backgrounds 844 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,680 Speaker 1: who just happened to be vegan online. And it was 845 00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 1: around that time, so it must have been maybe like 846 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,680 Speaker 1: five six years ago that started to kind of become 847 00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,360 Speaker 1: a little bit more acceptable maybe, and that's when it 848 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,879 Speaker 1: started to take off. And whether it was someone else 849 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,160 Speaker 1: who was actually vegan already, or someone who was just 850 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: curious about how to make a specific vegan recipe. I 851 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,880 Speaker 1: felt like there was this open mindedness to it, and 852 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,640 Speaker 1: that's when things really started to grow. 853 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 2: Is there anything specific that happens that signals to you 854 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,800 Speaker 2: that this is just taking off? 855 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: I think in my head I always kind of would 856 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: downplay the number of followers, and it's not something that 857 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:57,799 Speaker 1: I focused on, but I would think to myself, you know, oh, 858 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,400 Speaker 1: thirty k would be incredible to hit, and once I did, 859 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,320 Speaker 1: I'd be like, it's actually like not that many people 860 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,440 Speaker 1: in theory, right. It was just comparison knowing that like 861 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 1: real influencers had like millions of followers. 862 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 2: But then crazy, like someone said to me the other day, 863 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,560 Speaker 2: we were sitting down having a beer, and he said, 864 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:19,680 Speaker 2: you have enough followers to fill Madison Square garden exactly. 865 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:23,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what it was for me. Actually, because 866 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,360 Speaker 1: my mom told me, like, picture the number of people 867 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 1: that follow you in a room, you would have insane 868 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:30,399 Speaker 1: social anxiety. I was like, oh my god, you're right, 869 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,640 Speaker 1: and here I am just like talking to my phone 870 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,520 Speaker 1: every day. But that was definitely what it was for me, 871 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,400 Speaker 1: just realizing, like, my god, that is so many people. 872 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,799 Speaker 1: But I think the most important thing were like the 873 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,880 Speaker 1: people who would message me. Every now and then I'll 874 00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:46,040 Speaker 1: get a really nice message from someone that's like, hey, 875 00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,160 Speaker 1: you really helped me. You know, eat plant based and 876 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,879 Speaker 1: I made this for my family and we all loved 877 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,759 Speaker 1: it and we hate vegan food for example, or something like, 878 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:56,000 Speaker 1: you know, thank you for sharing your story about sobriety. 879 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,840 Speaker 1: It's really helped me with X, Y and Z. And 880 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,759 Speaker 1: I'm sure you have those messages too, Like those are 881 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:01,760 Speaker 1: the one that I save and want to like print 882 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 1: out and tape on my wall when I'm having a 883 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:05,600 Speaker 1: shitty day. You know, it's like this is why I 884 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: do what I do and why I love it so much. So, yeah, 885 00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:11,440 Speaker 1: you mentioned. 886 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,200 Speaker 2: That you do this as your full time job. Right now, 887 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:18,080 Speaker 2: I'd love if you could kind of explain exactly what 888 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 2: that means, how you are monetizing your blog and your 889 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:25,800 Speaker 2: social presence so that you can live this way, because 890 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,800 Speaker 2: I think that's certainly something that can be a little 891 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,640 Speaker 2: bit confusing, if you know what I mean. 892 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, it is a little bit of a weird thing. 893 00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,759 Speaker 1: Still to this day, I think and in a lot 894 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,040 Speaker 1: of ways the industry is like the wild West because 895 00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,680 Speaker 1: we're still trying to figure out regulations and what everything means. 896 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,239 Speaker 1: But the way that I break it down, I guess 897 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,600 Speaker 1: there are a few different things that I do. I 898 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,759 Speaker 1: used to say I was like a full time freelancer 899 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:52,279 Speaker 1: because I had all these different facets of what I 900 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,360 Speaker 1: do that would make up what it is to be 901 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 1: my job. So the first thing was like the food 902 00:43:56,920 --> 00:44:00,759 Speaker 1: and the recipes, and the main thing, I guess would 903 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,960 Speaker 1: be my actual blog, which is monetized with ads. So 904 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,439 Speaker 1: the recipes and all the content are free, but it's 905 00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 1: kind of like an ad space for other people to advertise. 906 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,360 Speaker 1: So that is one way that if you are a 907 00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,799 Speaker 1: food blogger you can monetize, or actually with any kind 908 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 1: of website really, you can monetize by offering ad space. 909 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,480 Speaker 1: That's something that I had a little bit of issue 910 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,239 Speaker 1: with in the beginning because I was like, I just 911 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,840 Speaker 1: feel bad doing this and monetizing, But you know, at 912 00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,840 Speaker 1: the same time, girls got to eat, and you know, 913 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,640 Speaker 1: I've got to make a living, so I was like, 914 00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,880 Speaker 1: all right, We're going to do this. Then it's Sponsorships 915 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,840 Speaker 1: are a big part of what I do on social media, 916 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 1: and with food, it, oh, it's feels very organic because 917 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,840 Speaker 1: a lot of it is like, hey, we have this product, 918 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,400 Speaker 1: can you turn this into a recipe or show people 919 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:48,160 Speaker 1: how to incorporate this into a meal. And almost all 920 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,160 Speaker 1: the time it's something that I already use or I'm 921 00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,760 Speaker 1: familiar with, so it doesn't ever feel like I'm preaching 922 00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,120 Speaker 1: or that I'm promoting something that I would never use 923 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,160 Speaker 1: or buy myself. And of course that's something that I've 924 00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,319 Speaker 1: learned more as I've own to be a little bit 925 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,759 Speaker 1: more of a seasoned blogger to just really make sure 926 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,359 Speaker 1: that what you're sharing is something that is organic to you. 927 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:12,279 Speaker 1: All the food puns, but that is another thing. Partnerships 928 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,239 Speaker 1: and then YouTube content that's something I do as well. 929 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,520 Speaker 1: So YouTube you can make money through like ad sense 930 00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,759 Speaker 1: and just like posting your own videos, which is really 931 00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:24,319 Speaker 1: nice because you own your own content, and you know 932 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,880 Speaker 1: that's not something you can often do and sustain without 933 00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,200 Speaker 1: the ad sponsorships for example. So those are a few 934 00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,960 Speaker 1: ways that I do that. And then kind of on 935 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,880 Speaker 1: the back end, and this is something that I've scaled 936 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,040 Speaker 1: back a little bit just because I've been finding it 937 00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,880 Speaker 1: hard to balance doing behind the scenes work and stuff 938 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,239 Speaker 1: for my own personal brand, but in the beginning, I 939 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:45,760 Speaker 1: actually would do a lot of food photography for other brands. 940 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,840 Speaker 1: So back when I had maybe like two thousand or 941 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,000 Speaker 1: so followers, I had a brand reach out to me 942 00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 1: and ask if I could create some content for them. 943 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,640 Speaker 1: This was when I was in college, I think, so 944 00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:57,120 Speaker 1: it was pretty new to me and I was like, Oh, 945 00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,040 Speaker 1: my god, you want to pay me to like take 946 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,000 Speaker 1: a picture of food. I was so excited. And I 947 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,440 Speaker 1: happen to have a pretty good camera because I had 948 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,640 Speaker 1: studied photography a little bit, and that is kind of 949 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,359 Speaker 1: like the behind the scenes stuff that I do. So 950 00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:11,640 Speaker 1: every now and again, I'll do some content creation for 951 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,319 Speaker 1: a brand that doesn't go on my feed but goes 952 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: on their feed. And I think there are a lot 953 00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,879 Speaker 1: of ways that you can basically monetize your expertise as 954 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,960 Speaker 1: you grow as a blogger, so you can start sharing 955 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,919 Speaker 1: your knowledge, you can start creating your own products. But yeah, 956 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,319 Speaker 1: that's kind of what I do now, and so far 957 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,839 Speaker 1: it's been great. I actually make more money now than 958 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,319 Speaker 1: I did at my corporate job. But I'm also not 959 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,080 Speaker 1: somebody who's not open to the idea of going back 960 00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,400 Speaker 1: to work. Like, it was never a thing where I 961 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:40,919 Speaker 1: was like, I never want to work for someone again. 962 00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:42,520 Speaker 1: I only want to work for myself. It was more 963 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,239 Speaker 1: just let's see where this goes, and if I have 964 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:47,239 Speaker 1: to get a job again, I'm open to it as 965 00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,719 Speaker 1: long as I find something that fulfills me and that 966 00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,680 Speaker 1: I enjoy and that I can you know, maintain, like 967 00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:53,680 Speaker 1: my mental health. 968 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,520 Speaker 2: In you mentioned a lot of different hats that you're 969 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,440 Speaker 2: wearing when it comes to creating your content. Are you 970 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:03,759 Speaker 2: out sourcing anything like any of the editing or what 971 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:09,120 Speaker 2: have you, or is this one woman job right now? 972 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,719 Speaker 1: It's all in house, which is why I kind of 973 00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:15,719 Speaker 1: scaled back on doing things for other people. But yeah, 974 00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:17,799 Speaker 1: it's something that I always feel like I should look into. 975 00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:20,319 Speaker 1: It's I think it's a control thing. I need to 976 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:22,799 Speaker 1: let go a little bit and trust someone else with 977 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:24,759 Speaker 1: the vision too, which I think is the hardest thing 978 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,719 Speaker 1: when you're growing something. But I would like to do 979 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,799 Speaker 1: that eventually when I find the right person. And you know, 980 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,360 Speaker 1: sometimes my family's involved, like my sister will often be 981 00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:36,319 Speaker 1: my photographer or my boyfriend unfortunately for him, so it's 982 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,919 Speaker 1: I get help from friends, But for the most part, 983 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:40,400 Speaker 1: it's like a one woman team. 984 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:44,560 Speaker 2: So this is me and Remy both putting out an 985 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:51,000 Speaker 2: intern advertisement. We are both seeking a little bit of help. 986 00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,960 Speaker 2: So if anyone knows anyone that could be the right fit, 987 00:47:55,480 --> 00:48:01,359 Speaker 2: hit us on social. But I don't I totally feel you. 988 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,360 Speaker 2: I mean, it's something that I think as creators, we 989 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,640 Speaker 2: want to take a lot of ownership over what it 990 00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:09,200 Speaker 2: is that we are making, but at some point or another, 991 00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,960 Speaker 2: there's got to be room to ask for help. I know. 992 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,160 Speaker 2: It's something that I I'm definitely definitely working on it. 993 00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:20,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, I think we'll eventually have to kind of 994 00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,560 Speaker 1: let go a little bit when we scale, which is 995 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,440 Speaker 1: something that my boyfriend tells me all the time, and 996 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:29,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, I know, I know, but I'm thinking back 997 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,759 Speaker 1: to like pre COVID times and it's crazy to think 998 00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,840 Speaker 1: about how many events that we go to in a 999 00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:35,800 Speaker 1: night too. I mean, that's how we met at like 1000 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,359 Speaker 1: a blogger event or a PR event, and I just 1001 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,080 Speaker 1: I cannot imagine doing that now, Like I don't know how. 1002 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,440 Speaker 2: I used to do so much, you know, Oh definitely, 1003 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,160 Speaker 2: And I would say that because we are not going 1004 00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:50,160 Speaker 2: from one event for fifteen minutes to another event for 1005 00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:52,760 Speaker 2: fifteen minutes and doing all of the New York things. 1006 00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:56,560 Speaker 2: That's why the output that's happening, the things that we're 1007 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,160 Speaker 2: able to create on a more frequent basis, that's why 1008 00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:00,400 Speaker 2: all of that is really going on. 1009 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, it's a lot more time to focus on 1010 00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:06,040 Speaker 1: your own thing versus like you know, taking the subway 1011 00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:09,560 Speaker 1: downtown and then running back and all of that in between. 1012 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. And also I wanted to touch on this and 1013 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,200 Speaker 2: you just brought it up again. Your boyfriend, you are 1014 00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:20,200 Speaker 2: in a long distance relationship. How is that going? Especially? 1015 00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,000 Speaker 2: I know you've been to Amsterdam I think once now 1016 00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:25,600 Speaker 2: and you're about to be going back again very soon. 1017 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:28,839 Speaker 1: Yeah. So we met in high school, so we've been 1018 00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:32,279 Speaker 1: together for almost I think it's nine years this year, 1019 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,080 Speaker 1: so it's been a long time, and he's really grown 1020 00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,640 Speaker 1: with me through everything, which I think is part of 1021 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:40,280 Speaker 1: what makes our relationship so strong. But I got so lucky, 1022 00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,279 Speaker 1: Like there are some friends that I have who are 1023 00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,680 Speaker 1: in long distance relationships now that have not been able 1024 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,520 Speaker 1: to reunite yet because basically the only way that I 1025 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,200 Speaker 1: was able to go was because the Netherlands happened to 1026 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,279 Speaker 1: open up this long distance exception where you had to 1027 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,360 Speaker 1: be in a relationship for longer than three months and 1028 00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:58,200 Speaker 1: have proof of that to be able to then visit 1029 00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,640 Speaker 1: even though technically nobody from the USA is allowed to 1030 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,360 Speaker 1: visit Europe. I just it's so random because it's I 1031 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:08,520 Speaker 1: think it's only Denmark and Amsterdam. A couple of other 1032 00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,919 Speaker 1: countries have opened that up now too, but at the time, 1033 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,319 Speaker 1: it was really difficult. And the way that I found 1034 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,759 Speaker 1: out was actually somebody's comment on Instagram when I was 1035 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,680 Speaker 1: talking about how long it had been since I see 1036 00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,040 Speaker 1: my boyfriend, and I was like, no way, and I 1037 00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,520 Speaker 1: had this like very emotional moment. I think I was 1038 00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,480 Speaker 1: crying tears of joy, and you know, I was like, 1039 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,920 Speaker 1: oh my God, frantically looking for plane tickets. And there 1040 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,880 Speaker 1: are some really helpful support groups. It's just like a 1041 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,120 Speaker 1: random note, but if anyone's in that situation, there are 1042 00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:36,520 Speaker 1: some really great online resources. Somebody created this website I 1043 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,000 Speaker 1: think it's called like Love Is Not Tourism or something 1044 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,120 Speaker 1: like that, where they compile all the resources of like 1045 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,960 Speaker 1: different government regulations to tell people basically what the update is. 1046 00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:51,480 Speaker 1: So let's say you're living in like Greece or like Spain, 1047 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,520 Speaker 1: and you're trying to figure out like seeing your partner 1048 00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:55,480 Speaker 1: somewhere else like they'll most likely have the most up 1049 00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,440 Speaker 1: to date information. So thanks to the Internet and social media, 1050 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 1: I ended up being able to visit my friend. But 1051 00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:04,320 Speaker 1: it's been pretty crazy. I really leaned on family a lot. 1052 00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:08,200 Speaker 1: I definitely used busy work as a coping mechanism for 1053 00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:10,600 Speaker 1: a long time, which I tried to stop doing as much. 1054 00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:13,880 Speaker 1: But sometimes when you live completely alone and you're not 1055 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,040 Speaker 1: even with a partner, it's hard to check yourself too. 1056 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,000 Speaker 1: So I'm just really glad that now I have a 1057 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,040 Speaker 1: little bit more balanced in my COVID life. 1058 00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,319 Speaker 2: Wow, that is such an insane thing. I'm just trying 1059 00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,480 Speaker 2: to think about whatever the lawmaker was going through. 1060 00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,920 Speaker 1: Created clearly in a long distance relationship, right. 1061 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:38,879 Speaker 2: Clearly and obviously now super difficult. But you have been 1062 00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,480 Speaker 2: in a long distance relationship for a minute now, So 1063 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,239 Speaker 2: tell me then, what are some of your pieces of 1064 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,319 Speaker 2: advice for anyone else who may be going through the 1065 00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:48,000 Speaker 2: same thing. 1066 00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:53,680 Speaker 1: So I think that what's really important is to remember 1067 00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,440 Speaker 1: that you have these incredible people in your lives. I 1068 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,960 Speaker 1: was feeling really bad because I have separated from my 1069 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,280 Speaker 1: family in Asia, who I won't even be seeing probably 1070 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,440 Speaker 1: for another six months or who knows how long, and 1071 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:07,839 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I felt very isolated, but I did 1072 00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:10,200 Speaker 1: take comfort in knowing that I had like these amazing 1073 00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:13,440 Speaker 1: people to miss, And you know, I will say I've 1074 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,680 Speaker 1: had a lot of practice with long distance because it's 1075 00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,880 Speaker 1: been so long that we've been doing this. So I 1076 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:19,560 Speaker 1: leaned in a lot on the things that I would 1077 00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,560 Speaker 1: typically do to kind of cope with that, and that 1078 00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:25,840 Speaker 1: is like working on new things, new hobbies, developing a skill. 1079 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,520 Speaker 1: I would kind of do these like mini challenges for myself, like, 1080 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,759 Speaker 1: all right, thirty days of flexibility. I want to see 1081 00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,640 Speaker 1: how flexible I can get in thirty days. Like little 1082 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:36,080 Speaker 1: things like that would really help me get along. And 1083 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,080 Speaker 1: I would plan dates, whether it be like a FaceTime 1084 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:40,920 Speaker 1: date or like a walk in the park with a 1085 00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,240 Speaker 1: friend that I was able to see. I would always 1086 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,239 Speaker 1: plan things to look forward to, no matter how big 1087 00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:46,959 Speaker 1: or small. So that's kind of how I would cope 1088 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:50,360 Speaker 1: in the beginning. And that's something I would definitely recommend 1089 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,319 Speaker 1: is to focus on you. And I know that's like 1090 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,680 Speaker 1: so hard to do when that's all you can do. 1091 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,560 Speaker 1: It's like nothing in your apartment you're just alone with yourself. 1092 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:01,360 Speaker 1: But if you can focus on you and growing you, 1093 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:07,799 Speaker 1: like hobbies, skills, personal growth. You know, therapy is also 1094 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:11,799 Speaker 1: really key. I find for myself personally, phone calls are 1095 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:15,480 Speaker 1: really important FaceTime and if you do have access to family, 1096 00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,960 Speaker 1: to definitely lean on them. I know that a lot 1097 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,680 Speaker 1: of my friends were expressing that it's like the craziest 1098 00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:22,600 Speaker 1: time to be stuck in a house with family, but 1099 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,520 Speaker 1: to just enjoy that craziness while you can, because I 1100 00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,280 Speaker 1: do think at the end of the day, your family's 1101 00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,319 Speaker 1: always there for you, and it's so nice to be 1102 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,880 Speaker 1: able to see them. I really learned that that was 1103 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:32,839 Speaker 1: a privilege this year. 1104 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:36,080 Speaker 2: I also love what you're talking about when it comes 1105 00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:39,799 Speaker 2: to smartly spending time by yourself. Like it's one thing 1106 00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:42,400 Speaker 2: if you're going to be hanging out on the couch 1107 00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:49,239 Speaker 2: watching twelve hours of Netflix, but it's another thing if 1108 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,680 Speaker 2: you're making real plans with yourself to commit to an 1109 00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:57,040 Speaker 2: hour working on learning Italian, or forty minutes reading this book, 1110 00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:59,799 Speaker 2: or I'm going to journal for twenty minutes. Like there's 1111 00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:02,719 Speaker 2: so much that you can do and take advantage of 1112 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:06,040 Speaker 2: in your time alone, and it doesn't always need to 1113 00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,279 Speaker 2: be not to say that it can't be good to 1114 00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:10,960 Speaker 2: have some mindless time, but it's you know, you can 1115 00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:14,480 Speaker 2: look forward to doing things by yourself if you execute 1116 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,920 Speaker 2: in the right way. So I just love that you 1117 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,040 Speaker 2: were giving really concrete examples of what it is that 1118 00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:24,719 Speaker 2: you were doing, not just of course cooking, eating and 1119 00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,040 Speaker 2: that stuff, but so much other good things. 1120 00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:29,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny to think about quarantine and sort of 1121 00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:32,600 Speaker 1: like the trend phases, but it really does show like 1122 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,919 Speaker 1: an example of things that make people feel better because 1123 00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,920 Speaker 1: I think it's very hands on. Like first it was 1124 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,600 Speaker 1: the banana bread and like the sour dough, right, and 1125 00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,960 Speaker 1: then it was like puzzles, and then it was like 1126 00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,280 Speaker 1: all these Netflix shows, and I think they're all important, 1127 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,040 Speaker 1: like find the balance. You don't want to use it 1128 00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,319 Speaker 1: as a way to like distract yourself from what's going on, 1129 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,040 Speaker 1: but rather just like plan things to look forward to 1130 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,399 Speaker 1: and like make things to get excited about. 1131 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:58,840 Speaker 2: I guess yeah, And so, aside from your pending trip 1132 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,840 Speaker 2: to Amsterday, what else excites you right now? 1133 00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:12,000 Speaker 1: What excites me? Let's see, that's a great question. I 1134 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 1: think what excites me is knowing that I'm a much 1135 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,960 Speaker 1: more flexible person now and just kind of continuing to 1136 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:27,040 Speaker 1: challenge myself knowing that I can't do things one hundred 1137 00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,600 Speaker 1: percent the way that I want to right now. I 1138 00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,640 Speaker 1: think it's been a really good personal challenge for me. 1139 00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,359 Speaker 1: I've had a lot of plans be canceled or just 1140 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:37,920 Speaker 1: like not feasible this year, and in those moments, I've 1141 00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,160 Speaker 1: really tried to focus on turning those into opportunistic moments 1142 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,279 Speaker 1: instead or just like simply sitting with it and being 1143 00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,320 Speaker 1: like okay with it and slowing down. And I'm excited 1144 00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:49,160 Speaker 1: that I've been getting more sleep because that was a 1145 00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:52,000 Speaker 1: huge goal of mine throughout quarantine. I kind of wanted 1146 00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,759 Speaker 1: to take it as an opportunity to make sure I 1147 00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,799 Speaker 1: was getting at least eight hours of sleep every night. 1148 00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,000 Speaker 1: So I've been working on that a lot. And little 1149 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:00,880 Speaker 1: things like that are really to me, and they're not 1150 00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 1: like huge things, but I think that's important too. Is 1151 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,359 Speaker 1: like romanticize little things a little bit. Is how I'm 1152 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:06,919 Speaker 1: getting through. 1153 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:12,319 Speaker 2: I love that tidbit. I'd also love to know, when 1154 00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:16,280 Speaker 2: you think about the last few years being your own boss, 1155 00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:18,839 Speaker 2: what has been some of the best advice that you 1156 00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,200 Speaker 2: have been offered. 1157 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:25,560 Speaker 1: Ooh, So, I think what's important to know is that 1158 00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:28,799 Speaker 1: it's going to be more challenging than a corporate job 1159 00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:32,360 Speaker 1: would be. And I do think that there's a little 1160 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:35,520 Speaker 1: bit of this idea that it's very glamorous to be 1161 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,359 Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. But to be an entrepreneur doesn't only mean 1162 00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,680 Speaker 1: you know, to work for yourself, choose your hours and 1163 00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:43,280 Speaker 1: be flexible and go to like a midday workout class, 1164 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:46,360 Speaker 1: but it also means sometimes you're struggling and you don't 1165 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,200 Speaker 1: know whether you can pay your rent, or you don't 1166 00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:49,960 Speaker 1: know where the money's coming from. You have to be 1167 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,439 Speaker 1: okay with uncertainty. And of course, you know, this year 1168 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,080 Speaker 1: I think was a lot of uncertainty for a lot 1169 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,680 Speaker 1: of people, even with very sure jobs or what we 1170 00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,359 Speaker 1: thought would be very sure jobs. And so I do 1171 00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,799 Speaker 1: feel like I was prepared for that because I do 1172 00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,319 Speaker 1: always keep in the back of my mind that with 1173 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,200 Speaker 1: this kind of lifestyle comes a certain level of uncertainty 1174 00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:13,400 Speaker 1: at all times. You would have to be ready for something. So, yeah, 1175 00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:16,720 Speaker 1: just be comfortable with being uncomfortable. I guess if that's 1176 00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:20,000 Speaker 1: something that you want to do, or be open to 1177 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,200 Speaker 1: going back to work or trying something new if your 1178 00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,600 Speaker 1: initial plan doesn't work out. I think that is really important. 1179 00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:29,479 Speaker 2: If you had an opportunity to leave one last thing 1180 00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:34,520 Speaker 2: on Instagram, one last little blurb, what would you want 1181 00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:42,400 Speaker 2: to leave your audience with? Oh my gosh, so last however, ever, ever, ever, 1182 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,800 Speaker 2: last post. All right, this is your legacy, Remy. 1183 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:52,120 Speaker 1: I think I would say, put your phone down and 1184 00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:57,320 Speaker 1: go outside. As maybe hypocritical as it is, I think 1185 00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,640 Speaker 1: there's so much more to life than Instagram and social 1186 00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:03,120 Speaker 1: media that people don't realize. Like I've spent more time 1187 00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,480 Speaker 1: than ever lately on my phone and scrolling, but I 1188 00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,160 Speaker 1: always try to keep myself in check and remember that 1189 00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,240 Speaker 1: I can live without a phone, I can live without 1190 00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:14,320 Speaker 1: social media. So yeah, I would say, put down the phone, 1191 00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,360 Speaker 1: go outside for a little bit. Your phone will always 1192 00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:16,960 Speaker 1: be there. 1193 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:21,040 Speaker 2: For when you come back. All right, last question. You 1194 00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:24,440 Speaker 2: have an opportunity right now to offer the REMI a 1195 00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:27,000 Speaker 2: piece of advice, perhaps right when she's getting back to 1196 00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,520 Speaker 2: New York going to college, knowing that she needs to 1197 00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:32,600 Speaker 2: make a big change. At that hurtle moment, you have 1198 00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,880 Speaker 2: an opportunity to offer her one piece of advice. What 1199 00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,439 Speaker 2: do you tell her? 1200 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:45,360 Speaker 1: I think I would tell myself to lean into the softness. 1201 00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:49,480 Speaker 1: I think I'm a very emotional person, but I also 1202 00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,760 Speaker 1: have this shell and this sort of desire to be 1203 00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:55,680 Speaker 1: very strong, get through everything, and very much a type 1204 00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:59,760 Speaker 1: a personality. But I find that sometimes that is a 1205 00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:03,240 Speaker 1: bare you're to my own healing, and sometimes you just 1206 00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,680 Speaker 1: have to sit with the softness and the emotion and 1207 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:07,680 Speaker 1: the feeling and just to be open to it, to 1208 00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,240 Speaker 1: be receptive and know that feeling is part of feeling. 1209 00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,200 Speaker 2: Feeling is part of healing. I love that. Thank you 1210 00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,439 Speaker 2: so so much for your time today. I can't tell 1211 00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:21,400 Speaker 2: you how much I really appreciate it and your honesty 1212 00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:22,640 Speaker 2: and your openness. 1213 00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:24,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for having me on. It's 1214 00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:28,240 Speaker 1: been so fun and I love chatting. So I have 1215 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:29,880 Speaker 1: questions for you off the air. 1216 00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:34,840 Speaker 2: Now, girl, I am all ears. Please take a moment 1217 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,760 Speaker 2: leave a quick review by clicking the link with the 1218 00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:40,160 Speaker 2: description to this episode. We all face multiple hurdles in life. 1219 00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:41,760 Speaker 2: I want to hear about yours. Reach out to me 1220 00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:45,520 Speaker 2: at Emily at Hurdle dot us, connect with the pod Instagram, 1221 00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,640 Speaker 2: Twitter at Hurdle Podcast. REMI how do they keep up 1222 00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,720 Speaker 2: with you? How do they follow your delicious eats? Give 1223 00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:54,240 Speaker 2: me all of the details. 1224 00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:57,680 Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram and most social media 1225 00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:01,040 Speaker 1: platforms at veggie Cans and then on my website all 1226 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,840 Speaker 1: the recipes is veggiekins blog dot com. 1227 01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:06,920 Speaker 2: And that's Veggiekans V E G G I E K 1228 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:11,800 Speaker 2: I N s I am at Emily a body at 1229 01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:16,080 Speaker 2: Hurdle Podcast, Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time