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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytell podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 3: But before that, thine divine two minute outbreak must happen,

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Speaker 3: I bid thee farewell.

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Speaker 2: See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 4: My boyfriend's parents keep playing favorites. Now I'm rethinking our marriage.

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Speaker 4: If I'm not your favorite, I'm out of here. My

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Speaker 4: boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We

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Speaker 4: know each other well and are a good match for

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Speaker 4: each other. We've even talked about marriage to the point

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Speaker 4: where we both agree a proposal with an engagement ring

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Speaker 4: and all is pointless and would rather elope at city

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Speaker 4: Hall followed by a party for family and friends. By

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Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Throwaway four six two seven

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Speaker 4: five six, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So, my

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Speaker 4: boyfriend is the third of four. He has one sister

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Speaker 4: and two brothers. His parents are very nice people and

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Speaker 4: have been nothing but kind to me. However, hearing my

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Speaker 4: siblings in law speaking about how their parents chose favorites.

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Speaker 4: Has really started to bug me and is making me

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Speaker 4: wonder if I want to join families with him. His

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Speaker 4: parents love the oldest brother above everyone else. The oldest

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Speaker 4: brother is a successful professor, while the second brother is

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Speaker 4: a teacher, and their youngest sister is training to become

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Speaker 4: a nurse. My boyfriend is a manager of a restaurant,

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Speaker 4: so he is fairly successful in his own right, so

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Speaker 4: it's not like the parents are playing favorites because of

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Speaker 4: a successful child. Some examples, when his second brother had twins,

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Speaker 4: the in laws to be were happy, but never took

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Speaker 4: time out for them, despite the fact that they are

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Speaker 4: both retired. They never took the twins out on walks

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Speaker 4: to the park or even to do the simple things

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Speaker 4: that grandparents do. It's like they just sort of existed

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Speaker 4: as pleasant, small people. When my boyfriend had a child

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Speaker 4: with his ex wife, they gave him the same treatment.

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Speaker 4: Loved the child, no doubt, but same sort of indifference.

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Speaker 4: The sibs and laws assumed that the parents were always

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Speaker 4: like this and just chose to show their love in

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Speaker 4: different ways. But then their oldest brother had a child

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Speaker 4: with his wife, and then all of a sudden they

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Speaker 4: became the most doting grandparents you'd ever seen. They'd have

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Speaker 4: blow up photos of this little lad all over the

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Speaker 4: house by expensive designer baby clothes, even socks for him,

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Speaker 4: and take him out for strolls and book baby photo

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Speaker 4: shoots so they can put it in the family album. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 4: they definitely have favorites. Yeah, especially if they're all living

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Speaker 4: within the same area that it makes as possible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Uh. But also I'm still wondering why.

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Speaker 1: Ope, he was like and that's why I don't want

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Speaker 1: to marry him because he's not his parents' favorite. Why

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Speaker 1: is that?

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Speaker 4: Are you playing favorites?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like I only married child like favorite child,

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Speaker 1: Only marry favorite children, only golden children.

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Speaker 4: They never did this for the twins or my step

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Speaker 4: son to be, And it's causing a huge drift between

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Speaker 4: the brothers and sister. Uh, not so much the sister

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Speaker 4: because she is still young and not thinking about children,

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Speaker 4: but she has expressed resentment and worries that her parents

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Speaker 4: won't treat her child the same as recent little ones.

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Speaker 4: This scares me. I'm not close to my own parents

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Speaker 4: because of a history of so I've chosen to cut

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Speaker 4: them out of my life. I want my potential children

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Speaker 4: to have a good relationship with their grandparents and his

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Speaker 4: slash her half brother. But I don't want to have

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Speaker 4: a child with this man if it means that our

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Speaker 4: child will be neglected in comparison to the golden child.

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Speaker 4: And it is a huge stretch. But it's also making

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Speaker 4: me worried. And I know this is irrational, but I'm

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Speaker 4: afraid that my boyfriend will exhibit the same behavior towards

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Speaker 4: any children that we might have, favoring our sons slash

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Speaker 4: son to be over our own biological children. I don't

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Speaker 4: want to start a family with this type of environment.

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Speaker 3: What do I do?

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Speaker 4: And we have an update? Well, I mean, I don't

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Speaker 4: know why we're clumping boyfriend with the parents.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I have a conversation with him

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Speaker 1: and say like, hey, I noticed your family's treatment. I

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Speaker 1: you know, it seems pretty unfair. How how do you

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Speaker 1: feel like I feel? I feel as if if your

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Speaker 1: partner was super enmeshed with his parents and you know,

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Speaker 1: siding with them over you, then I would say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is not a great family family dynamic, even if

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Speaker 1: you have a good relationship, he's always taking their side

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Speaker 1: over yours. But that's not the case here. It's just

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Speaker 1: that his parents have favorites and he's not the favorite.

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Speaker 4: Right Is he favoring the one brother's child over the

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Speaker 4: rest or does he see them all?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Well, great news, they talked update. I sat down with

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Speaker 4: the boyfriend to talk to him about my worries. I

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Speaker 4: even had to write them down so I knew I

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Speaker 4: would stay on topic. I worry that my boyfriend will

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Speaker 4: think that I may turn out to be harmful, consciously

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Speaker 4: or unconsciously, just like my parents, and whether this worries

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Speaker 4: him about our future together. I worry that my in

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Speaker 4: laws glaring preferential treatment of their eldest son and their

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Speaker 4: grandson over the other siblings and grandchildren will take an

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Speaker 4: effect on not only my fiance and stepson, but any

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Speaker 4: other children that we might have in the future. I

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Speaker 4: am afraid that I will come to resent them for

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Speaker 4: not being present in our children's lives as I have

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Speaker 4: seen firstthand how they treat my step son in comparison

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Speaker 4: to their eldest's son. My stepson is a great kid.

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Speaker 4: He is in that child phase where all he loves

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Speaker 4: to do is draw, draw, draw. He will draw all day,

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Speaker 4: every day, scribbling pictures for everyone in the family and

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Speaker 4: gifting them to each family member. He draws at least

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Speaker 4: half a dozen pictures for me personally, and I keep

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Speaker 4: them all in a box where I have his other work.

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Speaker 4: His grandparents, though, will take a look at it, praise him,

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Speaker 4: and a few days later they will be discarded in

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Speaker 4: the recycling bin. They don't even put a single one

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Speaker 4: on the wall or the fridge before casually disposing of it,

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Speaker 4: which breaks his heart. They don't have a single framed

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Speaker 4: photo of stepson around that.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I don't have like so many. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I feel like you could limit. Yeah, just get over

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Speaker 1: if he's gonna have this, treat man well.

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Speaker 4: Her other whole thing, though, is that she wants him

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Speaker 4: to have grandparents. But it's like you want to have

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Speaker 4: bad grandparents. Yeah, So when I see them fawning over

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Speaker 4: the child of their favorite son as if he were

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Speaker 4: Prince George, yes, it does irritate me a bit. I

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Speaker 4: subconsciously worry that my boyfriend will unconsciously follow his parents'

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Speaker 4: ways of child favoring and do the same to our children,

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Speaker 4: specifically the bio children we will have. I also understand

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Speaker 4: that this is the most irrational worry that I have

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Speaker 4: and is probably just me blowing it up in my head.

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Speaker 4: She swear, I expect my boyfriend to love our children

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Speaker 4: just as well as bonus son. Boyfriend expressed that, yes,

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Speaker 4: I was silly to worry that he would prefer one

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Speaker 4: child over another. Of course he would love all of them.

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Speaker 4: With that said, he also expressed that he worried that

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Speaker 4: since I didn't have the best family situation growing up,

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Speaker 4: I didn't have a normal set of parents to look

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Speaker 4: up to and mottow my behavior.

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Speaker 1: Here, you both were like, oh, You're probably not gonna

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Speaker 1: be a good parent because of your parents.

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Speaker 4: That's so rough.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so rough and so untrue, both judging each other.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he doesn't worry that I would be harmful like

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Speaker 4: my parents, But he did confess that he did worry

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Speaker 4: that I wouldn't exactly know how this parenting thing should work.

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Speaker 4: Fair enough, because bonus Son would be right in the

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Speaker 4: picture from day one, rightful that he should worry about

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Speaker 4: my lack of skills, right, No, because you're currently his

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Speaker 4: girlfriend who has been doing great with his son.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like, yeah, I feel like

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Speaker 1: if you. He had never I don't know, you had

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Speaker 1: never been around his son, never taken care of his son.

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Speaker 1: And then he was like, Oh, she wants to start

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Speaker 1: a family. Is she going to be ready? Maybe that's

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Speaker 1: a different situation, but you yeah, you've been.

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Speaker 4: Around there for three years? Is there for three years?

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Speaker 4: I asked him to help me out with that and

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Speaker 4: we agreed to take parenting classes together sometime in the

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Speaker 4: new year. Solved. As for the biggest hurdle, the in

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Speaker 4: law boyfriend expressed a huge amount of resentment towards towards

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Speaker 4: his parents, which was surprising. He feels that the differential

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Speaker 4: treatment between the twins and his own son compared to

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Speaker 4: his nephew isn't healthy for anyone involved at all. We

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Speaker 4: didn't get too much into it, but he did go

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Speaker 4: on quite a bit of a rant about how his

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Speaker 4: parents have treated his siblings and now grandchildren differently throughout

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Speaker 4: their lives. Eldest brother had all his tuition paid for,

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Speaker 4: so by the time his brother and sister came along,

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Speaker 4: the parents had not saved any money for their educations,

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Speaker 4: so they had to take out a line of credit.

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Speaker 4: Later we found out that they had a fund for

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Speaker 4: his second brother that the parents gave to the eldest

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Speaker 4: son so he could attend and finish graduate school. When

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Speaker 4: eldest brother wanted to go on school trips, it was

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Speaker 4: all paid for with brother and sister and him. They

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Speaker 4: had to save up with their part time jobs. Parents

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Speaker 4: made whole family attend eldest graduations, complete with family portraits.

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Speaker 4: Not such a tight ship with the second brother or

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Speaker 4: with him. By the time little sister graduated university, only

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Speaker 4: he and his father went to the ceremony.

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Speaker 1: God. No, the favoritism is so so.

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Speaker 4: Do not have this many kids if you're going to.

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Speaker 1: Do this, Yeah, bad, bad parents.

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Speaker 4: When the twins were born, the parents would go over

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Speaker 4: to their house to visit them almost every single time.

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Speaker 4: When the Golden Boy was born, his mother would slave

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Speaker 4: in the kitchen like a maid all day, making a

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Speaker 4: fantastic dinner and invite the whole family over for their visits.

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Speaker 4: I was there. It was an amazing effort she had

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Speaker 4: put in, and something that apparently the second brother resents

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Speaker 4: to this day.

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Speaker 1: I just think that, Yeah, keep having those conversations with

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Speaker 1: your parents, not with your parents, with your partner, and

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Speaker 1: get on the same page on how you want to

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Speaker 1: raise kids. I like the parenting class idea, and stop

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Speaker 1: stop silently judging each other for what your parents do.

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Speaker 1: You're not your parents.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, how have you guys not talked about that either?

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Speaker 1: Crazy?

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Speaker 4: Our conclusion was that I would stay out of this

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Speaker 4: as this oh, as this was a family matter between boyfriend,

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Speaker 4: his siblings and their parents. As I am not part

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Speaker 4: of the family yet, I won't have an official saying.

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Speaker 4: Boyfriend has said he will deliver my feelings to his parents,

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Speaker 4: but that he will be the main messenger. Apparently this

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Speaker 4: is a thing that has been bothering his siblings for

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Speaker 4: a very, very long time, so perhaps this is the

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Speaker 4: ball to get that discussion rolling. But again, I choose

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Speaker 4: to stay out of this can of worms for now.

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Speaker 4: I hooked up with another man after my ex stump me.

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Speaker 4: It made him furious, weren't you broken up?

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Speaker 1: I was in a relationship for almost two years during

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Speaker 1: college twenty one months to be exact, and had made

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Speaker 1: future plans on doing so many things together and spoke

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Speaker 1: about marriage and children. I got dumped last summer the

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Speaker 1: same day I found out my grandfather passed away, an

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Speaker 1: absolute shock on both ends. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 1: from hopeful recover and if you want to spit your

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Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time stuff.

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Speaker 1: He wanted to focus on hisself and distance was going

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Speaker 1: to be difficult. He decided to go to a different

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Speaker 1: continent for an internship and we wouldn't see each other

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Speaker 1: for six months, plus I would graduate a year earlier

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Speaker 1: than he was. Another reason for him taking this innership

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Speaker 1: was because he messed up his semester by taking too

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Speaker 1: many classes and getting high every day. A month later,

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Speaker 1: he messages me and tells me that another reason he

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Speaker 1: broke up with me was because he caught feelings for

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Speaker 1: some girl while we were together that he met once

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Speaker 1: at some street fair. I was completely floored by this

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Speaker 1: because this girl and him were just acquaintances and they

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Speaker 1: never spoke to each other. And then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: he decides to dump me because he thinks she could

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Speaker 1: be the one. In the coming few weeks, he would

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Speaker 1: tell me about how much he liked this girl and

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Speaker 1: how he wanted to take air places and hope she

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Speaker 1: liked him back to and he had a feeling that

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Speaker 1: she did. Fast forward to three months later, where I'm

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Speaker 1: in my last year of classes and I hooked up

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Speaker 1: with a guy that we both knew. This guy was

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Speaker 1: someone he had issues with and was insecure over. As

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Speaker 1: I had liked this guy before full disclosure, I lost

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Speaker 1: all feelings for him completely after a few months and

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Speaker 1: did not have any romantic inclinations once my ex and

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Speaker 1: I got together. X found out about it before I

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Speaker 1: had the chance to speak to him about it and

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Speaker 1: went ballistic, saying that I should have had the courtesy

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Speaker 1: to tell him about it, and now could I have

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Speaker 1: fed the one guy he had issues?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, you're not together anymore.

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Speaker 1: Of course, looking back, it has been a year since

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Speaker 1: this incident, I do agree that it was a mistake,

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Speaker 1: and I wish I never did it, But we were

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Speaker 1: both wasted then and both were single. Doesn't matter, literally

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter. You weren't with your partner at that time.

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Speaker 4: And he dumped you.

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Speaker 1: He dumped you for another girl.

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Speaker 4: Yeah that started during your relationship. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he has any right to, you know,

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Speaker 1: cast judgment on you. I wish I did say something

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Speaker 1: to my ex sooner and just given him a heads up,

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Speaker 1: but I did not, and I accept that. X removed

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Speaker 1: me from all social media accounts and we did speak

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Speaker 1: from September to February. X then comes back from his

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Speaker 1: internship and I hear that he hasn't pursued the girl

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Speaker 1: that he dumped me for, And on my birthday someone

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Speaker 1: brings his name up and I start full on crying

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Speaker 1: because I realized I still miss and love him. He

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Speaker 1: hears and decides to meet me and starts an on

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Speaker 1: and off relationship. Feelings for that girl somewhat diminished but

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Speaker 1: still is a small thing. Then he decides that there's

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Speaker 1: another girl who he's been talking to and as a

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Speaker 1: friend of his, who he hasn't met in almost ten years,

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Speaker 1: but he thinks might also be someone he could like.

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Speaker 1: Needless to say, he and I would be fighting every

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Speaker 1: other week because I still loved him and was willing

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Speaker 1: to give him a chance after all that had happened.

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Speaker 1: I thought he loved me too, but he would still

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Speaker 1: bring up how I hooked up with the other guy

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Speaker 1: and guilted me into that. Being the state we were in,

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Speaker 1: we decided to end our relationship in the summer. This

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Speaker 1: past summer, we were driving to go somewhere and this

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Speaker 1: was my first time driving on a highway for a

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Speaker 1: long period, and I almost successfully made it to my destination.

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Speaker 1: We got into a small fender bend, but thankfully all

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Speaker 1: parties were okay. A month after that accident, which my

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Speaker 1: family doesn't know happened, and I have not driven since

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Speaker 1: because every time I think I'm ready, I start feeling

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Speaker 1: very panicky. He messages me saying I should have been

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Speaker 1: more careful while driving. You were driving with him.

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Speaker 4: Yes, because obviously they did not listen at all, and

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Speaker 4: they're still talking.

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Speaker 1: Actually before after Okay, even though the cop told both

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Speaker 1: him and me that it was the other person's fault

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Speaker 1: and I had done the right thing by breaking on

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Speaker 1: time at the light, still I carried a lot of

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Speaker 1: guilt from that accident, and to hear someone say that

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Speaker 1: maybe I should have realized how much someone was worth

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Speaker 1: after they passed away got to me. And he decides

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Speaker 1: to remove me from all social media accounts again and

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00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:50,120
Speaker 1: cuts off contact. I started drinking heavily every weekend and

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00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,200
Speaker 1: wasn't sure how to handle all the guilt that came

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Speaker 1: from the accident, as he is the last person I

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Speaker 1: would want to get hurt in an accident, and I

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Speaker 1: lost even more confidence in my driving and how we

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Speaker 1: I considered therapy and still am to cope over this.

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Speaker 1: Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when I get

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Speaker 1: a message from him where he asks how I'm doing

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Speaker 1: and make small talk. He apologizes for the comment he

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Speaker 1: made about the accident and said that it was not

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Speaker 1: my fault and he shouldn't have handled it the way

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Speaker 1: that he did, as this could have been our chance

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Speaker 1: to strengthen our bond, but he chose otherwise. He joined

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Speaker 1: therapy for some of his issues too, which I was

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Speaker 1: happy about because he has someone to speak to and

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Speaker 1: help him. We spoke here and there some more, him

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00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 1: messaging almost always except one time where I wished him

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Speaker 1: for a holiday. He would say things like how he

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Speaker 1: missed me and it felt so different for him to

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Speaker 1: be in the last year of school while I wasn't there.

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Speaker 1: I miss him too, but I wasn't sure what I

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Speaker 1: could do because we weren't living in the same area

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Speaker 1: anymore and he was applying for jobs all over the country.

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Speaker 1: He also just fought with me so much, and I

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Speaker 1: just didn't think it made sense to feed into something

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Speaker 1: that could end up hurting both of us again.

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Speaker 4: Right, So we're not gonna go back, So we're gonna

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Speaker 4: stay broken up right, we're not going back.

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Speaker 1: We're to stay apart because because you had a bad

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Speaker 1: relationship and he broke up with you for right right.

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Speaker 1: A few days ago, he messages me and said some

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Speaker 1: of the nastiest things I've heard in my life. Said

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00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,400
Speaker 1: I was a gardening tool and a salute for screwing

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Speaker 1: up some guy that got in the way of our relationship,

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Speaker 1: even after I hooked up with said person after we

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Speaker 1: broke up and wished I would pass away. He said

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Speaker 1: I was a terrible person and had no idea how

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Speaker 1: relationships worked, and he was the one guy who was

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Speaker 1: everything for me and I couldn't find anyone better. I

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00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,800
Speaker 1: didn't respond him because I was on vacation, but he

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00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 1: messaged me again the next day, asking why I hadn't

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Speaker 1: responded and how I wasn't brave enough to say anything

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Speaker 1: or face my issues.

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Speaker 4: She doesn't owe you a response. You're not together, you

350
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,760
Speaker 4: don't get the right to her time.

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Speaker 1: Not true, as I am a pretty outspoken person and

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00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 1: did not want to say something or else. He would

353
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 1: twist my words and continue arguing some more. I'm trying

354
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,560
Speaker 1: to be more mature, but he doesn't seem to like that.

355
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,520
Speaker 1: I've always told him that I regretted what I did,

356
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 1: and I've apologized numerous times and am not sure what

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00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,680
Speaker 1: I can say at this point. I forgave him for

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Speaker 1: how he broke up with me while I was grieving

359
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:20,879
Speaker 1: over it, and when he liked the girl. This time, however,

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00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,399
Speaker 1: I just said that I said whatever that needed to

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00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,240
Speaker 1: be said before and wished him well for his future.

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Speaker 4: Hi sop.

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00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, he blocked my numbers, so I don't think he

364
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,640
Speaker 1: got my message and has blocked me on Facebook as well.

365
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 1: His brother removed me from social media too. Is all

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00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 1: of this my fault? I have numerous friends who have

367
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,399
Speaker 1: told me that he is acting immature overall that he

368
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,639
Speaker 1: has done to me, But I still feel guilty that

369
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,680
Speaker 1: I didn't say anything when I hooked up with a guy.

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00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,640
Speaker 1: You don't owe him no. That actually would be crazy.

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00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:53,240
Speaker 1: That would actually be crazy. If he texted direction was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: hooked up with this guy.

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Speaker 4: Or texted you like a war if you were like, yeah,

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00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,640
Speaker 4: just so you know tonight, like.

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Speaker 1: I'm hooking up with that guy that I liked before

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00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,639
Speaker 1: our relationship, And I already know that I should have

377
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,399
Speaker 1: and wished I never did it. In the first place.

378
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 4: No, you should not act. You have nothing to apologize

379
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 4: from this and nothing to read from this. He islating you. Oh,

380
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,639
Speaker 4: I mean if if he stayed, block him back, just

381
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,359
Speaker 4: in case he I'm blocking him back. Block him back and.

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00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:23,080
Speaker 1: Stop feeling bad for things that happened after a relationship,

383
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 1: when he left you to go hook up with another

384
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,440
Speaker 1: girl and admitted to having.

385
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 4: Started that while you were still dating because you you

386
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 4: were broken up when you did what you did, he was.

387
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:38,640
Speaker 1: Dating you, still dating it, he was dating it. Yikes,

388
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 1: But there's a little bit left to this story. I

389
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,320
Speaker 1: met a couple of friends this past weekend from college

390
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 1: and found out that my ex has been going around

391
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 1: telling people about the nasty things he texted me. He

392
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 1: apparently wrote a rap song too about it. Should I

393
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 1: feel honored or laugh? At the time, he was wasted.

394
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,359
Speaker 1: I was really angry to begin with, because I was

395
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 1: still obviously hurt. But then I realized that this definitely

396
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,960
Speaker 1: would not have worked in the long term, and I'm

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00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 1: glad he showed his true collers, even if it was

398
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: almost two years into the relationship. I'm also going to

399
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 1: start therapy soon just to deal with how much emotional

400
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 1: baggage she unloaded on me, as well as coping with

401
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 1: my accident.

402
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,119
Speaker 4: My wife asked for an open relationship, then cheated with

403
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 4: her ex.

404
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 1: I think you jumped the gun.

405
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,560
Speaker 4: My wife, thirty three female, and I thirty female, have

406
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,719
Speaker 4: been together for six years and married for three. The

407
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 4: past eighteen months have been hard, conflict over my amesh family,

408
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:36,359
Speaker 4: less spicy sleep, constant, arguing for miscommunication, and we dropped

409
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 4: out of couples counseling because of my school and workload.

410
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 4: I returned to college to start a new career, fully

411
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,880
Speaker 4: encouraged by my wife. By the way, this comes from

412
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 4: Danny Thinks, and if you want to submit your own stories,

413
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subread it. So

414
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 4: she told me she was getting lonely and asked for

415
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 4: an open relationship. I was hesitant, but I agreed. A

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00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 4: couple weeks later, she changed her mind. Dating apps weren't

417
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 4: for her, so she got on BUMBLEBFF and made four

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00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 4: new friends. Then she asked me if she could message

419
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 4: her ex from ten years ago to make amends. I

420
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,080
Speaker 4: was surprised because she had already done that six years

421
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,720
Speaker 4: ago and was rejected, but she insisted so I said okay.

422
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 4: Her ex responded kindly this time, and they started emailing daily.

423
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 4: My wife said she felt a friendship was possible, even

424
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 4: though we had a rule xes remain acquaintances. I was

425
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 4: cautious since my wife's previous exes have crossed boundaries before

426
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,199
Speaker 4: and it's made me feel invisible and disrespected. But I

427
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 4: said okay again on the condition she maintains healthy boundaries.

428
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 4: One week later, she says their conversations are deep and

429
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,600
Speaker 4: emotional and things are progressing really fast. By talking to

430
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,320
Speaker 4: her ex, she realized how she's repeated old bad patterns

431
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 4: from her past relationships into our marriage. I let her

432
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 4: talk without prying, even though I was uncomfortable. Then she

433
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 4: tells me she's feeling emotionally connected to her ex, but

434
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 4: says it's still just a friendship. I trusted her and

435
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 4: reassured myself that emotional closeness doesn't have to be romantic.

436
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,680
Speaker 4: Then she starts meeting up with her ex every weekend.

437
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 4: I mention how fast is escalating, and she says it

438
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,879
Speaker 4: feels natural and not rushed to her. Another week later,

439
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 4: she says she feels in alignment with herself around this connection.

440
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 4: I ask are you catching feelings, She says no. Then,

441
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 4: on a long car trip to visit my family, she

442
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 4: drops this. She wants to explore her feelings for her

443
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:50,640
Speaker 4: ex and reopen our relationship with this person. I'm gutted,

444
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 4: but she says it's not about the X, it's about

445
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 4: her not repressing her needs anymore. I cave. I say yes,

446
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 4: even though I'm passing away inside because I just want

447
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 4: her to be happy. But I wake up the next day.

448
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: In a rage.

449
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 4: I feel betrayed. I trusted her. She said this would

450
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 4: be a friendship. I felt like in hindsight she downplayed

451
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 4: everything I tell her. I'm no longer okay with it.

452
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 4: She says she communicated every step of the way and

453
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 4: that I just wasn't paying attention. We go back and forth.

454
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 4: Eventually I say, fine, have your open relationship, but I'm

455
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 4: telling you I'm not okay. She thanks me and says

456
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 4: she'll respect boundaries. We agree to no spicy sleep, only

457
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 4: level one physical contact like hugs or a hand graise,

458
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 4: Level two PDA, and level three kissing. However, at this

459
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 4: point my wife said the thought of kissing her ex

460
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,040
Speaker 4: repulsed her and was way too soon to think about

461
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 4: then the next day she meets her ex. It's imperative

462
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 4: for me to state how many days and weeks I

463
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:01,640
Speaker 4: spent crying over my wife's decision to pursue this open relationship,

464
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 4: even though I continuously told her I wasn't okay. I

465
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 4: was sounding like a broken record at some point, always

466
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 4: bringing it up, but always telling her go ahead and

467
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,439
Speaker 4: do it. But I'm struggling and I'm not okay. So

468
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 4: before she met up with her ex, I caved in

469
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 4: and couldn't hold it together. I expressed again how much

470
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 4: this is hurting me, and it pissed my wife off.

471
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 4: She said, why would you tell me this right before

472
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 4: I see my ex? Why did you give me your

473
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 4: blessing if you never meant it? Make up your mind.

474
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 4: I'm done with this back and forth. You are insensitive

475
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 4: for choosing to bring this up right before I see her.

476
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 4: After meeting up with her ex, my wife comes home

477
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 4: wearing a noticeably new necklace. I ask about it. She

478
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 4: says her ex gave it to her because my message,

479
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 4: the one where I said it wasn't okay anymore, made

480
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 4: her think she'd never see my wife again. She wore

481
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,199
Speaker 4: the necklace because it made her feel better. That crushed me.

482
00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 4: We have an update aang man, Dang, I mean wow, wow, wow,

483
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 4: you gave her permission.

484
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you need therapy. Ope. I think that

485
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: you're going into this relationship being like, well, if I

486
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 1: tell her how I feel, she'll stop doing it. But

487
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: I think you need to either say no, I'm not

488
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,120
Speaker 1: okay with that or leave.

489
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 4: Maybe, but we need to cut out all the like,

490
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 4: I guess it's fine, but I'm not comfortable and you're

491
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 4: not fine. Like.

492
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: I think there's this like idea that if you say that,

493
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 1: a person can like if you say no, I don't

494
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 1: want you to do that, it's controlling. It's more so

495
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 1: you say she comes to you and says I want

496
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: to go see my ex, and then you say I'm

497
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 1: not okay with that, you can't do that, And then

498
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 1: they have to decide whether or not they want to

499
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: stay in the relationship. Yeah, so either they go and

500
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 1: do that thing that you said, don't do that, or

501
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: they stay in their relationship.

502
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 4: That's kind of Yeah, you can still have your boundaries.

503
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 1: Yes, those are boundaries. Op.

504
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 4: We have an update. I changed my mind about the

505
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 4: open relationship last minute before she's her ex on Sunday.

506
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,240
Speaker 4: The next day, on Monday, my wife was so wrecked

507
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 4: about my decision that she took the day off of

508
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 4: work and stayed in bed crying. She was on her

509
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 4: phone all day too. I tried comforting her, but it

510
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 4: didn't do much, and she wouldn't go into detail about

511
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 4: why she was upset. I don't know what happened next,

512
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 4: but at some point Monday night we were arguing. It

513
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 4: was probably the necklace because she was wearing it all

514
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 4: night while she grieved. I didn't know it at the time,

515
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 4: so I asked her, where did you get that necklace.

516
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 4: I've never seen it before, and she told me her

517
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 4: ex gave it to her as a goodbye. At this point,

518
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 4: I'm still not aware that the kiss happened on the

519
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,159
Speaker 4: same day her ex gave her the necklace as a goodbye.

520
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 4: I do remember telling my wife that I need her

521
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 4: to give the necklace back before I lose my crap.

522
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 4: At some point during our arguing, I got frustrated and

523
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 4: stepped outside our bedroom to cool off. My wife sent

524
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 4: a flurry of text messages to me saying how much

525
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 4: her needs never get I, how much I don't care

526
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:05,439
Speaker 4: about her feelings, and how insensitive and immature it was

527
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 4: for me to send that text and change my mind.

528
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 4: Moments before she met up with her ex, we were

529
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:14,199
Speaker 4: just going back and forth, firing emotionally charged texts at

530
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 4: each other. So I had enough of the back and

531
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 4: forth texting. I decided to go into our bedroom and

532
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 4: confront her. I go into the bedroom expecting an angry,

533
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,160
Speaker 4: emotional wife, but what do I find. I walk in

534
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 4: and my wife is on her phone giggling and texting.

535
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 4: I'm like, what the heck are you laughing at I

536
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 4: thought you were pissed, and she's quickly trying to adjust

537
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 4: her mood and downplay her actions. I said, are you

538
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 4: texting your ex right now? And she said yeah. I

539
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 4: was like, are you seriously laughing and being unseerious with

540
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,400
Speaker 4: your ex while we're in the middle of arguing. It's

541
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 4: past ten pm. Why the heck are you guys still texting?

542
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 4: And my wife was like, fine, fine, okay whatever. On

543
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,919
Speaker 4: Tuesday morning, I had a text drafted and ready to

544
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 4: send to my wife about how I really needed her

545
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 4: to enforce boundaries with her ex if we're going to

546
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 4: make our marriage work. I told her, look, I only

547
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,199
Speaker 4: have two weeks left in my semester. And remember we

548
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 4: said we're going to work on our marriage and do

549
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 4: at home therapy when my semester is over. How are

550
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 4: you gonna focus on our marriage when you seem so

551
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 4: consumed with texting your ex, texting her during our argument,

552
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 4: wearing her necklace in our home. Where is the space

553
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 4: to repair our bond? You need to create space from

554
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 4: your ex if this is going to work, because now

555
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 4: I'm under the impression that this girl is texting you

556
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 4: all morning, all afternoon, all night every day. That is

557
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 4: not a friendship, it's borderline courtship. Well before I had

558
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 4: a chance to send my wife this text, she texted

559
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 4: me saying she had something to share. So in her text,

560
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 4: she told me that she kissed her ex and that

561
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,120
Speaker 4: the text I sent before she met up with her

562
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,360
Speaker 4: ex where I changed my mind last minute, pushed her

563
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,360
Speaker 4: to make that decision because she wanted to exercise control

564
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 4: and not feel powerless to my decision. And she's sick

565
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 4: of feeling like my feelings control her every move. She

566
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 4: wrote lots of other meaningful stuff, but I couldn't get

567
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 4: past the kiss, and I addressed that immediately. She said

568
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 4: the kiss meant nothing to her, and it's not about

569
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 4: her ex. It's about herself and choosing her needs. For once,

570
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 4: I was like, but you told me you couldn't even

571
00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 4: fathom kissing her. You said you had to take baby

572
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 4: steps before kissing her.

573
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: Uh, Opie, let me introduce you something called lying.

574
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 4: There's this thing.

575
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: There's this thing, this new thing called lying.

576
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 4: I also feel really bad for the ex because she's

577
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 4: kind of just like a pawn in their marriage, right, terrible?

578
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like Opie, like this wife reaches out to her

579
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 1: ex once, I says hey, no, waits a couple of years,

580
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: reaches out again. X' is like, oh, okay, yeah, we

581
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: can be friends, and then is dragged into this whole

582
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: thing where they're like, yeah, she want to be in

583
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: a relation, we can be in an open relationship. Yeah

584
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: you know, Oh it's totally fine. My partner's all cool

585
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: with it, and they're like, okay, I guess, so.

586
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 4: Yikes, And my wife said again that my text before

587
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 4: meeting up with her ex pushed her to do it.

588
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 4: And then I guess that's around the time her ex

589
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 4: gave the necklace to my wife. So I was angry

590
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 4: hearing all of this. I was home and my wife

591
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 4: was at work. I went digging for the necklace, even

592
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 4: though my wife said she'll give it back. I found

593
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 4: the ex's necklace and kept telling myself, don't throw it away,

594
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 4: because you're going to escalate things. Your wife said she'll

595
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 4: give it back, but I guess the devil in me said,

596
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 4: when exactly is she gonna give it back. Plus they

597
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 4: kissed each other, and your wife still came home after

598
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 4: the kiss and wore the necklace. So I went ahead

599
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 4: and threw that crap in the dumpster, and I felt

600
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 4: dang good about it. I then texted my wife, telling

601
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 4: her I was in so much pain and anger that

602
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 4: I threw her ex's necklace in the trash in an

603
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 4: attempt to feel better, to which my wife responded, this

604
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 4: is it. We're getting a divorce. Clearly you're not mature.

605
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 4: Let's call this off before you do something worse. I

606
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 4: told her, fine, I took the necklace out of the trash.

607
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 4: I thought I was way too nice for taking the

608
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 4: ex's necklace out of the trash, so I peede on

609
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 4: it in order to get some sort of revenge and

610
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 4: maybe feel powerful against her ex.

611
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: For one, I hate all I hate you both.

612
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 4: You both suck. Everyone sucks here. You're bringing me real sentence?

613
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 4: What is this stupid power dynamic.

614
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: Kiss? I kissed my ex to get power and then yeah,

615
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: peede on the necklace?

616
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 3: What opie just said? Claimed that's mine?

617
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 4: Now are you as Yeah, that's wild, that's you.

618
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 3: Took it out of the trash, just peeled it, She went.

619
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 1: I was too nice for taking out of the trash.

620
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 4: Did you peel it? Wait?

621
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:50,719
Speaker 2: Wait?

622
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 3: Wait wait wait?

623
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 4: Did you? Oh? You suck?

624
00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: You both suck, dude, This match made in heaven suck.

625
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 4: My wife came home from her lunch break to take

626
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 4: the necklace. I have no idea if she gave it

627
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 4: back or if she's hiding it somewhere. I haven't asked

628
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 4: either way, they have a pisstained necklace and don't even

629
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 4: know it. Later on Tuesday, she sent me step by

630
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 4: step instructions on getting a divorce in California. We have

631
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 4: no kids, we don't own any property, so it should

632
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 4: be straightforward. Wednesday morning, my wife texted me that she

633
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 4: still sees divorce as a solution, but right now. But

634
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 4: right now, the steps in the process are not something

635
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 4: she wants to do because she believes it will further

636
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 4: complicate our lives and this whole ordeal has stressed her

637
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 4: enough she's not ready to go through it. She said

638
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 4: that instead of divorce and instead of me moving out,

639
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,240
Speaker 4: she would like us to separate and have me stay

640
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 4: in the guest bedroom and take the guest bathroom until

641
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 4: she can figure out how to create distance between her

642
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 4: and her ex. She also said she wants her ex

643
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 4: to remain in her life because she believes her ex

644
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 4: is a genuinely good person who makes a good friend

645
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 4: and helps her grow in a positive way. It is

646
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 4: now Thursday, and I wish I could say our space

647
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 4: from each other has made things better, but things have

648
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 4: gotten worse. We have another update. How are you feeling? Wow? Wow,

649
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 4: wow Wow. They're still together. They're still together. The divorce

650
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 4: fake out and they're still together. They're like, they're still

651
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 4: living together. They're not getting a divorce, but they're staying

652
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 4: in separate rooms. Everything is still the same otherwise except.

653
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 1: For the necklace, such as Cassonis is maybe the wife

654
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: wants to stay married for the tax break and show.

655
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 4: It was also thinking.

656
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 1: Yep, everyone sucks here.

657
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 4: Yeah. Confirmed both of them are addicted to drama. They

658
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 4: both choose chaos every step of the way.

659
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: Miss Boozy says, why does Opie have to take the

660
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: guest room? It's like adding insult injury. Well, you know

661
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: this is what happens. Our wife says, you have to

662
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: take the guests room, and op wan, I'm not happy

663
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: about it, but okay, I guess I'll do it.

664
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 4: Of date number three. In the three to five days

665
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 4: since this happened and since this post, my wife told

666
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 4: me that she is going to continue seeing her ex

667
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 4: and let it develop into a romantic, spicy related relationship.

668
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 4: She said. If I don't want her to do it

669
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 4: while we're still married, then she will do it as

670
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 4: soon as we divorce. She said. The ideal situation is

671
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 4: that I stay married to her while she pursues this

672
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 4: romantic slash spicy related relationship with her ex, and then

673
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 4: see if she still wants this marriage with me. But

674
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,959
Speaker 4: I cannot handle them being together while we're married. I

675
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 4: love my wife so much that I'd be dumb enough

676
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 4: to stay while she does this because I want to

677
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 4: be a couple at the end of the day. But

678
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 4: I think I should respect myself and walk away. So unfortunately,

679
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 4: divorce is on the horizon. I will do my best

680
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 4: to make sure I'm the one who serves her first.

681
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: They're just this has all been one big power play. Yeah,

682
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: like constantly back and forth of who can win.

683
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 4: Yeah. The wife is pushing this as far as you

684
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 4: will let her, and you're letting her like h.

685
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 1: I mean even that last line of I hope I

686
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: serve the divorce papers first.

687
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 4: Why a wind drama?

688
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

689
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, your poison Tonic says they both have control issues.

690
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 3: Yep, yep.

691
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,760
Speaker 4: Can I let you in on some irony to finish

692
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 4: this off. When my wife dated her ex all those

693
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 4: years ago, her ex was a married woman, and when

694
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 4: her ex went through a divorce, she had rebound date

695
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 4: girlfriends before her divorce was even finalized. Sound familiar, And

696
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 4: you didn't take this as a warning.

697
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: Come on, op, come.

698
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 4: On now, my wife is doing to me what her

699
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 4: ex did to her. She can't even see it because

700
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 4: at this point in her life, her and her ex

701
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 4: are just so compatible and inseparable. And my wife is

702
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 4: tired of feeling like she can't get what she wants

703
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 4: in our marriage. In her words, she is not choosing us.

704
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 4: She owned up to being selfish and choosing herself even

705
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 4: if it destroys our marriage.

706
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: That is the end of that. So your marriage is gone, man,

707
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: there is a real marriage.

708
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 4: Hey, it's Sam.

709
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to these stories.

710
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 5: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that

711
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 5: keep the show alive.

712
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 1: I created a fake dating app account and found my

713
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: wife's profile.

714
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 4: Did you swipe right or left?

715
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 1: I am thirty mail and she's forty, female, Australia, married

716
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: four years, dated three years prior to marriage. First time

717
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: I caught her was earlier this year. It was a

718
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 1: genuine accident. For a laugh at work. We made a

719
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 1: fake dating app profile to see who else nearby at

720
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 1: work was on this app. When I left work that day,

721
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: I drove home and parked out front. My wife was

722
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,439
Speaker 1: home inside. Before exiting my car, I opened my phone

723
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 1: to check for any messages. The app was still open

724
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 1: on the screen when I unlocked my phone, and it

725
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 1: showed the nearest person to me on the app, very

726
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: clearly her. By the way, this comes from Billowing Betty

727
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

728
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,799
Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. After a

729
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,399
Speaker 1: few days, I confronted her. She cried and apologized and

730
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 1: called her mom and her best friend to get advice.

731
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 1: She returned and asked me what I wanted from her

732
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 1: in this moment. Example, sleep on the couch, leave and

733
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 1: go to an hotel, et cetera. Being the person I am,

734
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,479
Speaker 1: I just wanted her stay and us to work things out.

735
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: She kept calling herself stupid, thinks she didn't know why

736
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: she did this, and just that she liked the attention

737
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,319
Speaker 1: from others. In my panic of not wanting to lose

738
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 1: my wife, I asked if she wanted to go down

739
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: the path of an open relationship. Answer no, Does she

740
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: want to bring some toys into the bedroom to spice

741
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: things up a little? Answer no. She claims it was

742
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: all just an online chat, nothing physical ever happened, and

743
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: that it was only recent that she couldn't show me

744
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,280
Speaker 1: any message history to prove it was only online because

745
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: she deleted the app when she got home to prevent

746
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: me seeing it, and redownloaded it at work the next time.

747
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 1: She wanted to chat deep deep, deep down in the

748
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: depths of my soul, I believe it. I'd been going

749
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 1: on for at least a month, or probably more, and

750
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: somewhere the terrified part of my mind really teeters on

751
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: the edge of believing she did physically cheat. I try

752
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: my best to give her more spicy related style tension

753
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 1: in the months that pass. I make sure I call

754
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: her beautiful more often, common on her looks and makeup

755
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: and hairstyles more often. Nothing seems out of the ordinary,

756
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,439
Speaker 1: which I thought was good. Fast forward to now October.

757
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 1: I'm working away and feeling paranoid about the situation, going

758
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,919
Speaker 1: back through the screenshots in my phone that I kept

759
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 1: a proof of her hookup apt profile, and it's not

760
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,720
Speaker 1: helping my mindset. I download the app and make another

761
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 1: fake profile, add some filters to narrow the results, and

762
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 1: there she is again, however less obvious, this time no

763
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: photo age changed by one year. With my anonymous style profile,

764
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 1: I say a load to her, and her typing mannerisms

765
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,879
Speaker 1: are enough to give it away to me. Jerry on top,

766
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: the kilometer distance the app says we are from each

767
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: other is smack bang on what Google's maps measured distance

768
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: shows from my work to her work where we both

769
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 1: were in that moment. There are other concerns in our

770
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: marriage I have, but I was willing and actively working

771
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: on them for our sake and for the love I

772
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 1: have for what is a real mind f I think

773
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,880
Speaker 1: she still emotionally loves me too. There's no indication to

774
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: suspect this cheating other than my well placed apparently at paranoia.

775
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,800
Speaker 1: We are still a romantic, fun, connected, caring, loving couple.

776
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 1: She's not a bad person in general except for this,

777
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 1: and I think that's the hardest part and what makes

778
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,880
Speaker 1: it hard to accept. I'm not trying to stick up

779
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: for in any means. I guess I'm just presenting my

780
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 1: thoughts this time. I think I'm done.

781
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 4: This is like half of that Pina claudassm.

782
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, they both found each other, except that she's actually cheating. Dude,

783
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: I it doesn't matter if I think that she loves you,

784
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: she's actually she's still cheating on you for a second time.

785
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 4: It does not matter if if at home everything's great,

786
00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 4: she is still cheating on you and still actively lying

787
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 4: to you.

788
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 1: Yep, yep, yep, uh one, yeah, says opieus catfishing his wife.

789
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: Yeah for a second time.

790
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 3: Dad.

791
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,720
Speaker 1: Our other concerns were our future and her no longer

792
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: wanting kids, me wanting them. She had recently said she'd

793
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 1: done soul searching, and despite not wanting kids, she still

794
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 1: wants to be with me. Yah, But now I'm mentally

795
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: taking a step back and looking at the situation. It

796
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: makes me angry. Don't lure me into a sense of

797
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 1: relationship security when you're out of here chatting to other

798
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,320
Speaker 1: guys on dating apps. Anyway, what helped me was reading

799
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 1: other people's stories and seeing different scenarios. So I thought

800
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: i'd post mine here as well for others and for

801
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:52,000
Speaker 1: future updates. And there is an update, folks, so let's

802
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: dive into it. I'm going to confront her this Friday.

803
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 1: Every day my emotions get more and more intense towards

804
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 1: her and the situation. She has put what was the

805
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,280
Speaker 1: straw that broke the camel's back? In her hookup profile,

806
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 1: she wrote, I can put my legs behind my head.

807
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 1: I had an effing breakdown when I saw that, but

808
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 1: it also helped me decide then and there it is over.

809
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: As I'm away currently, I don't have the option to

810
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: be there physically to confront her, but I just cannot

811
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: wait this out much longer. I'm having sleepless nights going

812
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:23,800
Speaker 1: over and over in my head what I want to

813
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 1: say to her, I cannot concentrate at work. All the

814
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 1: light and happiness day in day to day life has

815
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 1: disappeared for me. I feel like an empty shell of

816
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 1: a man. I'm going to have a tiny shred of

817
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 1: decency towards her and wait till a Friday after work

818
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: so she has the weekend to think about how she

819
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 1: ruined our marriage and probably cry and feel sorry for herself.

820
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: As per my previous post, she does not know that

821
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 1: I know, and in the past she deleted the hookup

822
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 1: app before she'd get home, so there was never any evidence,

823
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: and the chat history disappears every time. This Friday, I'm

824
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 1: going to video call her without warning, tell her to

825
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: share her screen Facebook Messenger and say, open up the

826
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: hookup app and open up your chats and show me.

827
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 4: Why why why do you want to see that? It

828
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 4: is going to hurt you so much more. Just end it.

829
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 4: You are ending, you know what's in there.

830
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: I assume she'll panic and either refuse, which tells me

831
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 1: everything I need to know anyway, or show me. And

832
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: I know it's not gonna be pretty after that. I

833
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 1: guess I'll wait to hear her pathetic excuses and I

834
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: will say my bit. I've written it all out on

835
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,240
Speaker 1: my phone, so I don't forget a single bit. Lastly,

836
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: I have this feeling she will tell her family and

837
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: friends I split up with her because she doesn't want

838
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: kids and I do.

839
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 4: I am a good person.

840
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 1: I always get eft over for being too nice and

841
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: too eager to help others and too polite and too respectful,

842
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: and I won't have it this time. I will probably

843
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 1: contact her parents I'm close with them, and give them

844
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 1: a very brief idea so that she cannot paint me

845
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 1: as the bad guy. And there is a second update.

846
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: But I mean, my advice is just leave.

847
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 4: Who cares if you look like the bad guy? Care?

848
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,839
Speaker 1: Like, get get everyone out of get all these people

849
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: out of your life.

850
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 4: They won't be there anymore. It won't matter.

851
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just yeah, amulances. I feel like this is

852
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 1: Opie's gotcha moment for closure. Sure, but I think Ope's

853
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 1: approaching it from less like I want to get revenge

854
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 1: or I want to get closure or something, and more

855
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: like I need more evidence.

856
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 4: Right, like he doesn't have.

857
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 5: And it's like, no, you have evidence, Yeah, you you

858
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 5: literally have crashout SAPs Fedora Crashout is great, but there's

859
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 5: another update, folks.

860
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: On a Saturday, I video called her, and without explaining,

861
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: requested she shared her screen Facebook Messenger video chat and

862
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: open the app and show me every single chat with

863
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:46,240
Speaker 1: every single man. She acted confused, claiming she had no idea,

864
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: despite me seeing the app in the bottom corner of

865
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 1: her screen, just lying through her teeth to me. Still,

866
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 1: I became angry and nearly yelling. Not once have we

867
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: ever yelled at each other before this. She became more defensive,

868
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,360
Speaker 1: yelling back. She turned her video sharing off and claimed

869
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: it was glitching out. In this time, she deleted the

870
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 1: app and all the evidence. The way she talked to

871
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,879
Speaker 1: me and acted was so confronting. She immediately turned into

872
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,839
Speaker 1: this new person I had never ever seen in our

873
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:16,720
Speaker 1: whole relationship. It really scared me. Eventually, after more denial

874
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,800
Speaker 1: and lies, she gave up lying and just said I

875
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,360
Speaker 1: don't want to do this. A bit more back and forth,

876
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,839
Speaker 1: I said to her, we will discuss this further when

877
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: we see each other in person next and then we

878
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: hung up. The next morning, I planned to go to

879
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: the movies to get my mind off it, but as

880
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 1: I got ready, I just broke down. I mean, I

881
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: cried in a full body reaction emotional state. I just

882
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: could not stop. I have never ever cried like that

883
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 1: in my entire life. Because I knew what I had

884
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,280
Speaker 1: to do, and I drove hours to her and showed

885
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 1: up at the front door. We sat down and cried together,

886
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: and I explained all my feelings about the situation. We

887
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 1: both agreed we had been in a weird place recently,

888
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: as she had decided she didn't want kids and I

889
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:59,359
Speaker 1: am very much set on having kids, so perhaps we

890
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 1: were headed down on a slow breakup route.

891
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,720
Speaker 4: Regardless, he was just in denial for so long.

892
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: I mean kind of crazy that she's like, we were

893
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 1: already got a break up? You that's not okay. Yeah,

894
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: we had previously talked about working out a way for

895
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 1: three kids. We didn't know how yet where we could

896
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: still be a big part of each other's lives, but

897
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: perhaps living separately but close by. But the fact she

898
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,399
Speaker 1: took action to cheat on me and break my heart

899
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: anyway is so afft up. If she wanted to leave,

900
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: she owed it to me to tell me, not destroy me,

901
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 1: and I let her know that.

902
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 4: I mean, she sucks. Yes, the whole thing was terrible,

903
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 4: I think break up. Yeah, it's it's doing what you

904
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,440
Speaker 4: guys need to do. Opie was definitely in denial till that,

905
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 4: like crash out on the movies, I feel bad for

906
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 4: the guy.

907
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been there.

908
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 4: I get it. Sad.

909
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,560
Speaker 1: It sucks, man, it sucks. But like I think, going

910
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 1: into your next relationship, you're you, like, be very straightforward

911
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 1: about what you want in a relationship. Do you want kids?

912
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 1: Do you want to get married? And if someone says no,

913
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: I don't want those.

914
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 4: Things, believe them. You guys aren't compatible.

915
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

916
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 1: And also it kind of makes sense because she's like forty,

917
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: so she's probably you know, not just like I don't

918
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 1: want to have kids.

919
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 4: I'm older past that in yeah, people's minds.

920
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:21,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, like not that you can't have kids when you're forty,

921
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:21,919
Speaker 1: but it does.

922
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 4: Most people are already like thinking about it.

923
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sure, so get you know, find someone that is

924
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: on the same page with you, yeah about things in

925
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: your relationship, and also that doesn't cheat on you. In hindsight,

926
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 1: I obviously would have driven to see her on the

927
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 1: Saturday and taken her phone and gone through it myself.

928
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:42,360
Speaker 1: But truthfully, I was just scared crapless about the whole situation.

929
00:45:42,680 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: Her family and best friend have all reached out to

930
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 1: me since to check if I'm okay and offer a

931
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: shoulder to lean on. I have got myself a tiny

932
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 1: studio to rent, and I'm beginning to rebuild myself alone.

933
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm still really struggling emotionally, and I really wish I

934
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: could disappear into a cave and not have to see family,

935
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:03,160
Speaker 1: relige lives shortly for Christmas and go through the whole

936
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,280
Speaker 1: story again and again and answer questions.

937
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 4: My wife cheated on me with my friend after I

938
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 4: let him live rent free.

939
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 1: Dang, that's not a good house guest.

940
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 4: After twenty one years and two kids, my wife decided

941
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 4: to have an affair with my now former best friend

942
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 4: yet I served together in Afghanistan. He was going through

943
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:27,040
Speaker 4: a divorce and blamed his wife for cheating on him.

944
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 4: Turned out he was caught sleeping with two other friend's

945
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 4: wives and was sent to Afghanistan to get him away

946
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 4: from them so those families could heal and work on

947
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 4: their relationship. By the way, this comes from Adam T

948
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 4: one thousand and If you want to submit your own stories,

949
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So after

950
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,960
Speaker 4: we came home from Afghanistan, I left the military and

951
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 4: started working for an airline. When my former best friend retired,

952
00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 4: I helped him get an airline job too, not the

953
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,280
Speaker 4: same company, as he failed the interview you at mine.

954
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 4: The interviewers said he had psychopathic traits and turned the

955
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 4: interview around on the interviewers. He came to visit for

956
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 4: work and it was just me going to take him

957
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 4: out for dinner when he was in my city. Eventually,

958
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,240
Speaker 4: my now ex wife said that she and the kids

959
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 4: would like to meet him since he was my best

960
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 4: friend and we talked all the time. So I brought

961
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 4: them all out to meet him on his next trip,

962
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 4: and he charmed her and the kids like he does everyone,

963
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:32,439
Speaker 4: super manipulative and deceptive. He then asked if he could

964
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,319
Speaker 4: come visit not just for work, and I invited him

965
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,800
Speaker 4: to stay with us in our home. That turned into

966
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 4: a monthly thing. I thought it was great to get

967
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 4: to spend so much time with my best war buddy.

968
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 4: He had alternative reasons. After a few trips to visit us,

969
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 4: he shared that he wanted to move to our city

970
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 4: and asked if he could rent my guest sweep from

971
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 4: me until he found a place of his own. I

972
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 4: welcomed him in and didn't think twice about helping my

973
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 4: buddy out. As soon as he moved in and I

974
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 4: barely saw him anymore. I would get my airline schedule

975
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 4: and give it to my wife and she would send

976
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:09,439
Speaker 4: it to him. Then his airline would bid for schedules

977
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 4: after mine was released, and he made sure he was

978
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 4: in my house when I was working, and he was

979
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:19,720
Speaker 4: working when I was home. This went on for six months.

980
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,240
Speaker 4: Not only did I not see him, but he never

981
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 4: paid me a dime and used those six months to

982
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 4: have complete access to my family and home. Looking back,

983
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 4: I see how utterly dumb this was, to allow a

984
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 4: divorce man to be in my house, around my family

985
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 4: when I wasn't there. I started getting the umplompa vibes

986
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 4: around my birthday when she started dressing nicer, doing her

987
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 4: hair and nails, and I would see them drinking coffee

988
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 4: together in the morning. She never drank a drop of

989
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 4: coffee before him living with us. My fortieth birthday came

990
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 4: up and she didn't even say Happy birthday to me

991
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 4: that morning. Something was off that way. God, Okay, not.

992
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: Someone happy birthday is not okay.

993
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 4: We were still having spicy sleep. In fact, it was

994
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 4: more frequent than ever, but not even a happy birthday.

995
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 4: On my fortieth something was up. We had a ring

996
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 4: camera in the living room to watch the dog when

997
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 4: we would travel. I hadn't been snooping on my family

998
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,680
Speaker 4: while on the road, but should have been. They both

999
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 4: knew that the camera was there too. Two days after

1000
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 4: my birthday, I was on a trip and the camera

1001
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 4: goes off in the middle of the night. She's running

1002
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 4: downstairs from the guest suite in nothing but her birthday suit.

1003
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 4: I rewound the video and watched the previous few weeks

1004
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 4: and saw it all. They had spicy sleep in my

1005
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 4: living room, groped each other and made out in front

1006
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 4: of my kids. While it was brutal. I punted him

1007
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 4: out and took my wife to intensive marriage counseling. She

1008
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 4: lied through her teeth to the therapist and made me

1009
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 4: feel bad about her, and.

1010
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:05,360
Speaker 1: The therapist wasn't like, well, you cheated on your husband,

1011
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 1: so what how do you lie about that?

1012
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 4: She said that I wasn't attentive enough, that I was

1013
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 4: a bad dad, that I never let her do what

1014
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 4: she wanted that I didn't speak her love language, et cetera,

1015
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 4: et cetera, et cetera, all blame shifting to me. I

1016
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 4: was gaslet so hard my head was spinning. I lost

1017
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 4: forty pounds in two months and was a wreck. Three

1018
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 4: therapy sessions a week weren't helping, and she was caught

1019
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 4: sneaking out to see him over and over.

1020
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need marriage is done. Your marriage is over.

1021
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: I don't understand where I'm still here. I mean, I

1022
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,800
Speaker 1: probably because the kids, but.

1023
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 4: But still why we're not talking divorce.

1024
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,720
Speaker 1: You're not going to be a good father if you're

1025
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 1: losing forty pounds in two months. Insane, just in a

1026
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: terrible mental health you know, yeah, mental state.

1027
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 4: When I would present her with the proof on the

1028
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 4: continued affair, she would deny on stop. She lied to

1029
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 4: the therapist constantly until the last session, where I showed

1030
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:07,239
Speaker 4: proof of a recent spicy related encounter with him two

1031
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 4: days earlier. She swore she had been no contact for

1032
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,760
Speaker 4: over a month. The therapist's jaw was on the floor.

1033
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 4: After that session, I finally decided this wasn't the life

1034
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 4: I wanted and initiated the divorce. So nearly six years later,

1035
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 4: here we are. She got a job teaching at my

1036
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 4: kids high school and manipulates the kids daily. They know

1037
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 4: what she's doing, but they still want a mom. My

1038
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 4: kids hate her for what she did to me and

1039
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 4: all the lies she told them about me. They are

1040
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,800
Speaker 4: fifteen and seventeen. They know the truth about what happened,

1041
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 4: and my ex is still with the guy. She told

1042
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,400
Speaker 4: them five different stories about how they started dating after

1043
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 4: the divorce. I set the kids straight, and then the

1044
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 4: kids find her handwritten cheating love letters in her home

1045
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 4: that detailed their affair while we were married. I can't

1046
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,480
Speaker 4: make this up. She has lost all of her friends.

1047
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 4: She has made some new acquaintances at work, but they

1048
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 4: don't know her. All of her old friends have seen

1049
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 4: the videos, emails, texts, and wrote her off like a

1050
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:09,280
Speaker 4: bad case of her piece.

1051
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 1: Are you like sending them out to everyone? How are

1052
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 1: they getting this?

1053
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 4: Don't do that?

1054
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: Maybe no?

1055
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: Maybe she like she has so many I mean, if

1056
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 2: she's details about it, she probably shows it to them.

1057
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's probably bragging. Yeah she's luke y, I mean

1058
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 4: right in front of the kid. She might just be

1059
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 4: doing it in front of everyone else. It's true that

1060
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 4: she could she takes him out.

1061
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 1: She has no shame.

1062
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 4: She spends every three minute with him, and he is

1063
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 4: still sleeping around on her, according to mutual friends who

1064
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 4: have kept tabs on him.

1065
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 1: I mean, that's what happens when you when you start

1066
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 1: cheating with a guy who's literally known for being a

1067
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: serial cheater with his friend's wives. What do you think

1068
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: is gonna happen?

1069
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:47,800
Speaker 4: My ex wife is just one of many for this psycho.

1070
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:51,279
Speaker 4: As part of the divorce, I agreed to a one

1071
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 4: million dollars settlement over eleven years, nearly all of it

1072
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 4: in cash, minus one hundred and twenty five k and

1073
00:52:58,640 --> 00:53:02,240
Speaker 4: ira for her. We had a lot of retirement accounts,

1074
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 4: military retirement, home brokerage, et cetera. To divide. I kept

1075
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 4: everything and agreed to pay half upfront in cash and

1076
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 4: ira and the rest over eleven years with restrictions. The

1077
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 4: alimony has the standard clause that it will end if

1078
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 4: she gets married, but I also added in that it

1079
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 4: ends if she cohabitates. That is not part of the

1080
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 4: state law at all, but I got it added in mediation.

1081
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 4: So six years in they still aren't engaged or living together.

1082
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 4: She has the perfect setup. He can tell her she

1083
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:34,439
Speaker 4: has to keep her house and can't live with him.

1084
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 4: Since my kids loathe him, she can't bring him around

1085
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 4: the kids, so he is free to play with other

1086
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 4: women while she has the kids half of the month.

1087
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 4: In five years when the alimony ends, do you think

1088
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 4: he will finally move her? In eleven years in I'm

1089
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,800
Speaker 4: almost enjoying watching this. She has burned through every penny

1090
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 4: I gave her upfront, four hundred and eighty thousand. It's

1091
00:53:56,480 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 4: all gone. I double her paycheck with my alimony child

1092
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 4: support each month. But she has expensive taste for a

1093
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 4: school teacher. Our last month of marriage she averaged eleven

1094
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:10,279
Speaker 4: thousand a month on her credit card. I now give

1095
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 4: her just three thousand a month. I'm saving a fortune

1096
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,799
Speaker 4: by not having to support her reckless spending. If you

1097
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,360
Speaker 4: subtract out the money she was bringing into the marriage

1098
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,359
Speaker 4: from her average monthly bill, that left me with eight

1099
00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:25,800
Speaker 4: thousand in credit card debt to pay off each month. Now,

1100
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 4: just giving her three k means I say five K

1101
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 4: a month. That's a sixty thousand dollars a year savings

1102
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 4: just on her credit card alone. Divorce has been an

1103
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 4: amazing financial boost. My income has increased fourfold since the

1104
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 4: divorce and she gets none of the extra I also

1105
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 4: wrote that into the divorce, my net worth has also quadrupled,

1106
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 4: and I'm well on my way to an early retirement

1107
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 4: if I so choose. She, on the other hand, just

1108
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:56,359
Speaker 4: started working for a city school at age forty three

1109
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,799
Speaker 4: and has no retirement savings other than the IRA I

1110
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,120
Speaker 4: gave her. She will be working for a long time

1111
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 4: unless she finds someone to marry her and pay for

1112
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 4: her I took the divorce heard and my weight went

1113
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:11,240
Speaker 4: up and down in unhealthy ways. I lost forty pounds

1114
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 4: this past year and have finally prioritized my health overtaking

1115
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 4: care of everyone else. It has been amazing. But the

1116
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 4: best part and why I needed to share the other

1117
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,800
Speaker 4: crap before this, I have had the most amazing partner

1118
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 4: for the last two point five years. Hey, okay, look

1119
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 4: it up. She was also married to another narc. We

1120
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 4: have helped each other heal and grow. We get each other,

1121
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 4: and our relationship is so loving and amazing. It made

1122
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 4: being mistreated for twenty one years worth it to teach

1123
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 4: me what I wanted and what I would never tolerate again.

1124
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 4: And my kids see it too.

1125
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 1: That's that's very rewarding to realize that you've actually found

1126
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 1: someone who like respects you. You respect them, your kids

1127
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 1: respect the relationship that you guys have. That's great.

1128
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 4: We share two dogs together, and everyone in our world

1129
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 4: is happen. There is an abundance of love, smiles, hugs, money, time,

1130
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 4: empathy in my home now, and everyone is thriving. I

1131
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:10,719
Speaker 4: never thought it would happen. I feel like, yeah, you

1132
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 4: guys have left each other.

1133
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 1: The marriage is over. You're with another cool person. Do

1134
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 1: your kids know the truth? I think everything's good.

1135
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 4: Everything's great, right, everything's great. Nothing's gonna happen.

1136
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:22,839
Speaker 2: Right.

1137
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 4: My ex has gained a ton of weight and is

1138
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 4: almost unrecognizable to me. I'm guessing at some point her,

1139
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 4: a fair partner will finally write her off for good

1140
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,600
Speaker 4: and she will be left with a big nothing sandwich

1141
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 4: to chew on. She's living paycheck to paycheck on six

1142
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 4: k a month and has to curb all her expensive

1143
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 4: tastes on six km months.

1144
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,959
Speaker 1: And you're living paycheck to paycheck on six k a month.

1145
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 4: This insane.

1146
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,320
Speaker 1: I mean, unless she's spending a bunch of stuff on

1147
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 1: the kids, which could be possible, but I feel like, oh, peace,

1148
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 1: Probably I mean.

1149
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 3: There is she's also getting the money from.

1150
00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's getting three K from him.

1151
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:01,040
Speaker 4: She probably just still has are spending as she was

1152
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:03,840
Speaker 4: on her credit card. Sure. Meanwhile, my kids and girlfriend

1153
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 4: travel abroad and are living an amazing life together free

1154
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:10,320
Speaker 4: of her drama and manipulation. I have been in therapy

1155
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:12,720
Speaker 4: for the last six years and have learned so much.

1156
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 4: If you are struggling, pay the money, find a good

1157
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 4: therapist or support group, and do the work on yourself.

1158
00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 4: It takes an average of half the time you were

1159
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 4: in a relationship to get over it when it ends traumatically.

1160
00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 4: I'm a little over halfway on the healed timeline. Every

1161
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 4: day it gets a little better.

1162
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:30,919
Speaker 3: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1163
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 3: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors

1164
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 3: that keep the show going.

1165
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,400
Speaker 2: My wife told me she's pregnant, but she doesn't know

1166
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 2: I'm infertile.

1167
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 4: Oh, she's a cheat.

1168
00:57:40,240 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 2: And my wife Female thirty three and I Mail thirty

1169
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 2: four have been married for three years together for six

1170
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 2: She's always been one of the most amazing people I've

1171
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 2: ever met. No huge fights, love, languages match up, and

1172
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 2: we're both fairly active people, which has been why we've

1173
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 2: had such a strong relationship and that's why this is

1174
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 2: so difficult from me. By the way, this comes from

1175
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:06,200
Speaker 2: user throwaway my Supermazoa and if you want to submit

1176
00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the RM slash.

1177
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 3: Okay story time suburday.

1178
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 2: So we've both been doing well in our careers the

1179
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,040
Speaker 2: last few years. She's in marketing and I work independently

1180
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 2: as an IT consultant, allowing me to set my own

1181
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 2: hours and be flexible. How flexible, we decided last year

1182
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 2: that we wanted to start a family, with her likely

1183
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 2: keeping her job full time and me scaling back to

1184
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 2: part time. We've both been anxious but excited to have

1185
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 2: our own kids. Long story short, I was diagnosed with

1186
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 2: azuspermia last December, a blockage in the pipes me It

1187
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 2: meant I wasn't producing any baby juice.

1188
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 3: Uh and it's.

1189
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 2: Curable with surgery, thankfully, and we finally got it scheduled

1190
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:55,600
Speaker 2: for July. She has a high spices leap drive so

1191
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 2: and as do I, so we've still been very active.

1192
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:03,080
Speaker 2: But there should have been no way I could have

1193
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 2: gotten her pregnant. She missed her period this week. I

1194
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 2: couldn't imagine that she might actually be pregnant, right the

1195
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,720
Speaker 2: babies are bottled up until they get the blockage out.

1196
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 2: She took three tests, though, and sure enough, each one

1197
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 2: was positive. At first, I was stunned because this shouldn't

1198
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,080
Speaker 2: be possible. She's never been unfaithful and never given me

1199
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 2: a reason not to trust her. I'm not the jealous type, either,

1200
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 2: but I'm literally stuck. The doctor said this couldn't happen,

1201
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 2: and I can't believe my wife would jeopardized the future.

1202
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 2: We've been so excited for over some fling when we

1203
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 2: have such a great emotional and physical connection. My wife

1204
00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 2: has been ecstatic. She's given no indication of guilt or

1205
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 2: worry that she may have cheated. She was so excited

1206
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:49,840
Speaker 2: when she found out that I didn't express my worries,

1207
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 2: but she left for work, and now I feel completely torn.

1208
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 3: What if she did cheat? Looking back now, there are

1209
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 3: a few.

1210
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 2: Tiny things that didn't seem like issues, but now have

1211
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 2: me racking my brain for clues. Her job often has

1212
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 2: her taking clients out for dinner, and it's not uncommon

1213
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:08,400
Speaker 2: for her to get back later in the evening. She

1214
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 2: definitely had a busy last few months, but that's normal

1215
01:00:11,400 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 2: for her job. She always wears one of the same

1216
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 2: two perfumes, but she came back one night smelling completely different.

1217
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 2: I remember seeing a text message on her lock screen

1218
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 2: of just a winkie face, but assumed it was one

1219
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 2: of her girlfriends.

1220
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 3: I don't know what to do.

1221
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,840
Speaker 2: I set up an appointment on Monday to see if

1222
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 2: there's any chance it could be mine. If it is

1223
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 2: mine and I accuse her of cheating, I would feel

1224
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 2: like the world's biggest a hole. But she's coming home

1225
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 2: in a few hours, and I don't know what I'm

1226
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 2: gonna say to her. I can't stop thinking of these

1227
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 2: small things that may have been her cheating and I

1228
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 2: just didn't see it. Do I wait until the Dodger

1229
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 2: appointment Monday before talking to her, or do I bring

1230
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 2: it up the Do I bring up these insecurities while

1231
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 2: she's celebrating the pregnancy. I'm worried I won't be able

1232
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 2: to hide what's going on. I should add I have

1233
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 2: been cheated on before. Our relationship has been pretty healthy,

1234
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 2: but that old fear is creeping back in now fair.

1235
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 2: This is bringing up some old emotional scars and it's

1236
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 2: just effing with me. I'm usually never this insecure or

1237
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,920
Speaker 2: uncertain about being straightforward. I think I need to just

1238
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,439
Speaker 2: find some way to bring it up without being accusatory.

1239
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:21,560
Speaker 1: I please, Okay, well, okay, I think it maybe could

1240
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 1: be good if you like waited for the appointment and

1241
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 1: got you know, got double checked. However, I honestly think

1242
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 1: if you're gonna be worrying about it until that appointment,

1243
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 1: just like sit her down and say, hey, uh, I'm

1244
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 1: really excited about the baby. I just wanted to talk

1245
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 1: to you. I'm not accusing you of anything, but you

1246
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 1: know that I had like the sperm stuff blah blah blah.

1247
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 1: You could even bring up like.

1248
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 3: I don't know, she doesn't. She doesn't.

1249
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 2: That's yeah, that's what I'm saying. She does not know

1250
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 2: that she knew. No, she doesn't, she has no knowledge

1251
01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 2: of that.

1252
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 1: I'd be like, hey, I found out that I'm is

1253
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 1: you supermic?

1254
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you need to and I think you

1255
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,440
Speaker 2: can do it without being accusatory, But it needs to

1256
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 2: be like a thing where it's like, so.

1257
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:06,040
Speaker 3: I literally got told by.

1258
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 2: The doctors that this was impossible, and it's like, I am.

1259
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 2: I want to be excited, but because I've heard that.

1260
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 2: I am feeling impossibly confused right now over what I

1261
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 2: should be feeling. And I don't want to accuse you

1262
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 2: of anything, but you can see how after me being

1263
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 2: told that, I would feel maybe a natural skepticism commens.

1264
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 2: I'd say you should wait for the appointment. Biology can

1265
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 2: surprise us sometimes, but prepare for the worst case scenario.

1266
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 2: Opie says, should I take her with me to it,

1267
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 2: I'm weighing the choices between that and going alone. I'm

1268
01:02:45,040 --> 01:02:46,840
Speaker 2: going to have to bring it up anyways. There's no

1269
01:02:46,920 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 2: way I can hide this when she gets back. Another

1270
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:51,960
Speaker 2: user says, I literally just study this. So although you've

1271
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 2: been diagnosed with azuspermia, it means that when they looked

1272
01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 2: at your juice in the lab, it didn't have any

1273
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 2: little wigglers in it. However, you produce a lot of

1274
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,160
Speaker 2: the juice and the lab only looks at a little

1275
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 2: bit of the juice, which usually gives a good response.

1276
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:14,440
Speaker 2: Usually you would repeat several times before concluding that diagnosis.

1277
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 2: Although just because the lab didn't see any baby juice,

1278
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 2: it can mean that you had an incredibly low count,

1279
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:25,040
Speaker 2: so none of their samples from the sample you have

1280
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:28,160
Speaker 2: showed any This doesn't necessarily mean that. For example, in

1281
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 2: a normal in the normal processes of the normal guy

1282
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:35,960
Speaker 2: having the thirty to nine hundred million little swimmers, it's

1283
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:40,560
Speaker 2: usually about fifteen million per milliadre. It's possible you maybe

1284
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 2: even one thousand little swimmers per milliadre and you would

1285
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:45,240
Speaker 2: still be diagnosed.

1286
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, so this this comment is saying there.

1287
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: Is little and still be diagnosed.

1288
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 4: It only takes one. It takes one.

1289
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:58,520
Speaker 3: It only takes one. Oh p replies goes man. I

1290
01:03:58,560 --> 01:03:59,200
Speaker 3: hope you're right.

1291
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 2: I don't remember exactly what they said, but are there

1292
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:06,959
Speaker 2: any forms that would have a complete lack of a.

1293
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 3: Baby juice count?

1294
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,240
Speaker 2: They seemed to be convinced that it was completely blocked off.

1295
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 2: But this was all months ago and I don't remember

1296
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,439
Speaker 2: exactly what they said, and there is an update two

1297
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 2: days later. I took a lot of what you guys

1298
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,680
Speaker 2: said to heart. I had an X years ago who

1299
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 2: cheated on me, and it really left a scar. It

1300
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:25,080
Speaker 2: wasn't until I got more involved with sports and getting

1301
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:26,680
Speaker 2: in better shape that I was able to move on.

1302
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,680
Speaker 2: My wife and I actually met in a soccer league we.

1303
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:30,200
Speaker 3: Were in together.

1304
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 2: We've had so much trust for so long that I

1305
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 2: thought those fears had gone away. It wasn't until now

1306
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 2: that I really started to feel shaken like that again.

1307
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 2: But I didn't want to let my pass get in

1308
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,840
Speaker 2: the way of what could be just a huge blessing.

1309
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:46,800
Speaker 2: A few people really articulated the right way to communicate

1310
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 2: my feelings without being accusatory, and.

1311
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:52,960
Speaker 3: Being respectful to my wife, who's never really given me

1312
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 3: any reasons to doubt her.

1313
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 2: It's not uncommon for her to sometimes be home late,

1314
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 2: and she'll usually go straight to bed. I didn't want

1315
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:01,920
Speaker 2: to dumb this on her immediately and decided to give

1316
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 2: myself a night to sleep on it. I got up

1317
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:07,160
Speaker 2: pretty early, just being restless, went for a run and

1318
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 2: cleared my mind.

1319
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 3: I couldn't wait any longer.

1320
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 2: I made our favorite omelets and told her I needed

1321
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,640
Speaker 2: to talk to her about something.

1322
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:17,560
Speaker 3: She says, you know I'm not Ashley, right. She knows

1323
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:20,160
Speaker 3: me well. Ashley is my ex who cheated. So first

1324
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:21,320
Speaker 3: I apologized.

1325
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 2: I apologize because I let this build up in my

1326
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,320
Speaker 2: head for so long without talking with her about it. Sooner,

1327
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 2: what should be a blessing has been nothing but insecurity

1328
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:29,760
Speaker 2: and fear for me.

1329
01:05:30,320 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 3: We talked for a while. I told her how happy.

1330
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:34,920
Speaker 2: It made me to see her ecstatic and excited for

1331
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 2: the baby. I told her how much I love the

1332
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:39,240
Speaker 2: relationship we've built together, and I felt like an a

1333
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 2: hole for questioning her loyal She had never given me

1334
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 2: a reason not to trust her, and I still couldn't

1335
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 2: emotionally get over the thoughts of infidelity because of my ex.

1336
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 2: She thanked me for telling her and knew how hard

1337
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 2: it was for me to get over that. She volunteered

1338
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:53,560
Speaker 2: to have us get a paternity test right when he

1339
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 2: or she is born, which made me feel better at first,

1340
01:05:56,240 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 2: but something still felt off. I honestly don't know something

1341
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:03,160
Speaker 2: about how she was so eager to get a paternity

1342
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 2: test and almost not mad at all for having kept

1343
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:08,760
Speaker 2: this from her. Normally, she would have been upset that

1344
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 2: I didn't bring it up right away, but there was

1345
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 2: just a weird feeling I couldn't shake for the rest

1346
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,920
Speaker 2: of my day. It seemed like she was saying all

1347
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 2: the right things, but I couldn't get rid of this

1348
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:20,760
Speaker 2: clawing feeling inside of my head.

1349
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 3: Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

1350
01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:24,760
Speaker 2: Maybe there's a gut feeling that I need to listen

1351
01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 2: to but I ended up going to the appointment alone,

1352
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,920
Speaker 2: as we decided it would be good to see if

1353
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 2: I still needed the surgery. Turns out it is obstructive

1354
01:06:34,440 --> 01:06:37,440
Speaker 2: as us. I've read so many stories about people who

1355
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 2: were supposed to be infertile who ended up getting pregnant,

1356
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 2: so I brought that up and how my wife's pregnancy

1357
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:44,200
Speaker 2: was affecting me. Their urologists thought it would be pretty

1358
01:06:44,240 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 2: unlikely that I wouldn't need surgery to have a kid

1359
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:49,800
Speaker 2: with how mine was presenting. He mainly tried to skirt

1360
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 2: around the topic and mostly pushed me towards making sure

1361
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 2: she was actually pregnant. Being there didn't really help. I

1362
01:06:56,160 --> 01:06:58,320
Speaker 2: feel like I just got more uncertainty. She had another

1363
01:06:58,440 --> 01:07:00,800
Speaker 2: night out until eight thirty last night. We talked about

1364
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:03,600
Speaker 2: scheduling an appointment to verify the pregnancy. When she got home,

1365
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,960
Speaker 2: she seemed a little confused, but then quickly agreed. She

1366
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,160
Speaker 2: promised to do it in the morning. I asked how

1367
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:10,560
Speaker 2: work had gone, and she gave me a kind of

1368
01:07:10,600 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 2: noncommittal answer about her boss pushing her too much and

1369
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 2: being stressed out. Nothing huge there, but she did seem

1370
01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:18,960
Speaker 2: just off a little bit.

1371
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:21,000
Speaker 3: I really couldn't put my finger on it.

1372
01:07:21,800 --> 01:07:24,080
Speaker 2: We were still acting all lov dow, but something just

1373
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:27,120
Speaker 2: felt wrong and I couldn't talk about it without repeating

1374
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 2: the same conversation we had Sunday. I've been trying to

1375
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,520
Speaker 2: throw myself into work to distract myself, but I haven't

1376
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 2: been able to focus. We have a joint checking account

1377
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:37,320
Speaker 2: that will sometimes move money in and out of, but

1378
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:40,440
Speaker 2: really only use for groceries or household items unless we

1379
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:43,680
Speaker 2: talk about it beforehand. This morning, she moved half of

1380
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,440
Speaker 2: it to hers, about seventeen hundred dollars.

1381
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:47,480
Speaker 3: We don't do that.

1382
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 2: She is never needed to do this before, and I

1383
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:54,000
Speaker 2: checked our healthcare portal. She made the appointment for the

1384
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 2: time Thursday that I mentioned, I was busy working on site.

1385
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 3: We were supposed to go together. I'm starting to go crazy.

1386
01:08:01,880 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 2: How do I bring this up without just having the

1387
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:06,760
Speaker 2: same conversation again. Now you bring it up and you

1388
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:08,440
Speaker 2: get a little more confrontational bout.

1389
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:12,080
Speaker 1: You're like, Hey, what's up with seventeen hundred dollars? What's

1390
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:12,520
Speaker 1: going on?

1391
01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:15,720
Speaker 2: I'm looking into getting a second opinion for myself, but

1392
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 2: I need a litmus test from objective outsiders to know

1393
01:08:18,439 --> 01:08:20,840
Speaker 2: if I'm really losing it, or if this seems weird

1394
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 2: to someone else, we have a second update. I've been

1395
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 2: trying to center myself. We talked calmly for a bit

1396
01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 2: on the phone, and she claimed she moved the money

1397
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:32,680
Speaker 2: out in anticipation for the deductible payments she'll have with

1398
01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:36,160
Speaker 2: different visits. I didn't bring up anything else, but she

1399
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:39,559
Speaker 2: seemed a little impatient with me, probably rightly so, and

1400
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:42,400
Speaker 2: I implied we'd have a longer talk when she gets home.

1401
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to not overreact right now. I don't

1402
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:48,559
Speaker 2: know what to think. This is either a misunderstanding on

1403
01:08:48,600 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 2: my side and I'm a father or not. Thankfully she's

1404
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 2: not working late today.

1405
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:54,639
Speaker 3: Update threem.

1406
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:56,479
Speaker 4: I literally don't know.

1407
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:59,160
Speaker 1: It really could go either way. I really don't know.

1408
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:02,120
Speaker 3: Why would she make the appointment on the one day?

1409
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:03,080
Speaker 4: No, I don't know.

1410
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,080
Speaker 3: I don't know why. I don't know why.

1411
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:09,479
Speaker 2: I think that just needs to be a hey, can

1412
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:11,719
Speaker 2: I noticed that the appointments on that Thursday?

1413
01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 3: Can we change it?

1414
01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:13,120
Speaker 1: Can we change it?

1415
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:15,040
Speaker 2: And if she goes no, no, no, we can't, it'd

1416
01:09:15,040 --> 01:09:18,120
Speaker 2: be like a why But it's like we can change it.

1417
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:21,680
Speaker 2: There's literally no rush to do this. We can do

1418
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:23,400
Speaker 2: it Thursday. We can do it next Thursday. We can

1419
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 2: do it, Saturday, we could do it whenever day, just

1420
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 2: literally not that day because we have to go together.

1421
01:09:28,320 --> 01:09:30,320
Speaker 3: Update three. I went for a long run to clear

1422
01:09:30,360 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 3: my mind.

1423
01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:33,880
Speaker 2: My wife should be home soon, and I'm going to

1424
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:38,040
Speaker 2: go into the conversation without judgment, just objectively walking through

1425
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 2: the facts and why I'm still struggling personally with some

1426
01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:44,040
Speaker 2: of them, regardless of what happens. I'm done with any

1427
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:48,320
Speaker 2: confusion left between us and a note here op he's

1428
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:52,599
Speaker 2: asking redditors for a script to ask his wife, Hi, honey,

1429
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:54,880
Speaker 2: I was looking at our medical portal to see when

1430
01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 2: might be a good day for an appointment. But notice

1431
01:09:57,280 --> 01:10:00,519
Speaker 2: that you booked it for Thursday. That's okay. I'll take

1432
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 2: some vacation and come along. It's too important to be

1433
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:07,559
Speaker 2: close to you for that appointment. Chat about other stuff briefly.

1434
01:10:07,680 --> 01:10:11,240
Speaker 2: And then, oh, by the way, I noticed you moved

1435
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:13,760
Speaker 2: seventeen hundred dollars out of our joint account. Was that

1436
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,960
Speaker 2: for the appointment or did I miss something? We have

1437
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,720
Speaker 2: some more comments here. Do you have any sick time?

1438
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 2: Calling sick on the day of the appointment and go anyway?

1439
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:24,200
Speaker 2: She's technically already kind of agreed to go together, so

1440
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:26,879
Speaker 2: it makes sense she can't argue with that. OPI replies,

1441
01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:28,720
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to surprise her, but I think I

1442
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:31,000
Speaker 2: might wait until she's home and mention I can take

1443
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:34,960
Speaker 2: the day off and see what she says. Another user says,

1444
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,080
Speaker 2: solid plan. Honestly, I hope it ends up just being

1445
01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:40,920
Speaker 2: a misunderstanding, for your sake, and honestly, for my sake

1446
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:42,080
Speaker 2: and for everyone's sake.

1447
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:46,040
Speaker 4: Please, Dear God, I just need it to be a misunderstanding. Please.

1448
01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 2: It's better to be sure, and it's not as though

1449
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:53,800
Speaker 2: you're being unreasonable. Op replies, thank you, thank you. I'm

1450
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 2: trying to get all my uncertainty out to make sure

1451
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 2: I don't just act on fear.

1452
01:10:58,000 --> 01:10:59,320
Speaker 3: I'm a little uneasy how.

1453
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:02,960
Speaker 2: Popular the post, even though there she rarely uses Reddit.

1454
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:06,840
Speaker 2: I'll probably have to take this down eventually. Update four

1455
01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:07,760
Speaker 2: three days later.

1456
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:10,439
Speaker 1: I'm scared.

1457
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:14,880
Speaker 2: We got ninety three percent of polars saying it's cheating.

1458
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,120
Speaker 4: I don't want it to be cheating.

1459
01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:23,720
Speaker 3: No, use the power of manifestation to manifest that there

1460
01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,280
Speaker 3: was no cheating in this cheating.

1461
01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:26,439
Speaker 1: I know it's Reddit.

1462
01:11:26,680 --> 01:11:27,719
Speaker 4: I know it's Reddit.

1463
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:32,040
Speaker 3: Come on, please please now come.

1464
01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:35,080
Speaker 2: Three days later, we finally sat down after she got

1465
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,240
Speaker 2: home last night. I told her everything that was going on,

1466
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:40,160
Speaker 2: the urologist, the money, the upcoming appointment. I told her

1467
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:43,120
Speaker 2: how even with all of her reassurances, there are too

1468
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:47,920
Speaker 2: many suspicious things that are happening. She agreed how everything

1469
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:51,880
Speaker 2: looked and immediately apologized. She didn't realize how much my

1470
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:55,000
Speaker 2: last ex's cheating was still affecting me. She knew I

1471
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:57,360
Speaker 2: was off going into the weekend, but thought we had

1472
01:11:57,360 --> 01:12:00,360
Speaker 2: addressed that. We talked about it Sunday. But I can

1473
01:12:00,439 --> 01:12:03,360
Speaker 2: get pretty internal with all these worries and not show

1474
01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:07,240
Speaker 2: them outwardly. So while she thought we were communicating, I wasn't.

1475
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,760
Speaker 2: We decided to start from the beginning and go through

1476
01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:15,439
Speaker 2: everything together. The money was the real problem for me,

1477
01:12:15,920 --> 01:12:18,760
Speaker 2: She agreed, how inconsidered it was with where my head

1478
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:21,840
Speaker 2: was at to do that without mentioning it. Apparently, the

1479
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:24,439
Speaker 2: prenatal visits are so structured that they want you to

1480
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:26,960
Speaker 2: set up a payment plan right away, and she wanted

1481
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:29,640
Speaker 2: to make sure it was squared away to keep the appointment,

1482
01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:33,040
Speaker 2: She offered without me prompting to call them with me

1483
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:35,800
Speaker 2: tomorrow to verify that, or if I really wanted, we

1484
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:38,879
Speaker 2: could move the money back. She does get better rewards

1485
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:42,240
Speaker 2: out of her account, so it kind of makes sense.

1486
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:46,120
Speaker 2: We read up on my condition, and it doesn't seem

1487
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:50,320
Speaker 2: like they're often invincible force fields. It seems like only

1488
01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:55,440
Speaker 2: the actual absence of the vast deference guarantees complete infertility,

1489
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:58,920
Speaker 2: so it's possible for some to get through. We're going

1490
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:00,960
Speaker 2: to go back to the original specialist I was working

1491
01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,920
Speaker 2: with last year and hopefully get a clearer picture. It

1492
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:06,439
Speaker 2: turns out the appointment she made was the only time

1493
01:13:06,479 --> 01:13:07,240
Speaker 2: they had available.

1494
01:13:07,280 --> 01:13:08,040
Speaker 3: Is so soon.

1495
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking. That was mine and I

1496
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:12,720
Speaker 1: didn't say before, but my first thought, having just done

1497
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:15,360
Speaker 1: like a bunch of pet stuff, is like, it's so

1498
01:13:15,640 --> 01:13:18,799
Speaker 1: hard to get doctor's appointment stuff, just like in general,

1499
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:21,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it like I try to get a

1500
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:25,080
Speaker 1: doctor's appointment with my doctor specifically, which I mean, I'm

1501
01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:26,880
Speaker 1: sure she would want to go to her doctor or

1502
01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:30,479
Speaker 1: like a trusted something. Uh, And it was like month's

1503
01:13:30,479 --> 01:13:32,160
Speaker 1: out and so I had to go to a different doctor.

1504
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:34,000
Speaker 1: And then for PT, I had to wait two months

1505
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:36,640
Speaker 1: to get into PT. So like that that was my

1506
01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:38,840
Speaker 1: first thought was that this was just the first day

1507
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:39,720
Speaker 1: that was available, and.

1508
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:41,400
Speaker 3: That's why our healthcare is the best, because we pay

1509
01:13:41,439 --> 01:13:42,200
Speaker 3: so much money for it.

1510
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:47,200
Speaker 2: Anyway, Okay, she said it was the only time they

1511
01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:49,920
Speaker 2: had available so soon, and she figured it'd be best

1512
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:52,120
Speaker 2: not to wait. I told her I took off work

1513
01:13:52,160 --> 01:13:55,160
Speaker 2: to go with her, and she was relieved I could join.

1514
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:55,479
Speaker 3: Okay.

1515
01:13:55,520 --> 01:13:59,040
Speaker 4: I think she's genie. Okay, I don't think either. She's

1516
01:13:59,080 --> 01:14:00,479
Speaker 4: a very good act actress.

1517
01:14:01,040 --> 01:14:04,040
Speaker 2: Once again, she said all the right things and seems

1518
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:06,880
Speaker 2: genuine about getting us on the same page. After going

1519
01:14:06,920 --> 01:14:08,880
Speaker 2: through each thing, I was just wishing I believed her

1520
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:11,720
Speaker 2: a little more before she stressed out with work and

1521
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:14,160
Speaker 2: when she'll have to take off. But she really seemed

1522
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,080
Speaker 2: to want to go out of her way to alleviate

1523
01:14:16,080 --> 01:14:19,519
Speaker 2: my concerns. She even offered an open phone policy if

1524
01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:21,880
Speaker 2: I needed. We did look at the text I had seen,

1525
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:25,920
Speaker 2: and it was just a girlfriend. I declined though right now,

1526
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,599
Speaker 2: since I don't want to be that husband.

1527
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:32,000
Speaker 4: Where to God, you're jo your joy hate.

1528
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:40,599
Speaker 1: Doesn't tell us whether or not she cheated with definitive proof,

1529
01:14:41,479 --> 01:14:42,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go crazy.

1530
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:44,760
Speaker 2: This has really made me take a deeper look at

1531
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:48,960
Speaker 2: what's in my past. And how that still affects me today. Fire,

1532
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:52,759
Speaker 2: that was a bar, that guy that's cooking. Even thinking

1533
01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:54,800
Speaker 2: back to this weekend, it was so hard to see

1534
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:57,200
Speaker 2: in the moment how much all the uncertainty was affecting me.

1535
01:14:57,320 --> 01:15:00,679
Speaker 2: That level of anxiety literally makes you question everything around

1536
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:03,759
Speaker 2: you and if it's real. I think trust but verify

1537
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:05,720
Speaker 2: is the best way to put it. I was just

1538
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:07,679
Speaker 2: trying to verify without any of the trust.

1539
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:08,479
Speaker 3: That's all.

1540
01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:10,800
Speaker 2: This has put a strain on our marriage right now,

1541
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,799
Speaker 2: but I'm feeling more like we're a team again, working

1542
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:18,000
Speaker 2: towards easing that. She thought that a non invasive prenatal

1543
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:21,040
Speaker 2: paternity test asap was a great idea as long as

1544
01:15:21,080 --> 01:15:21,760
Speaker 2: we also.

1545
01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:23,040
Speaker 3: Get some kind of counseling together.

1546
01:15:23,439 --> 01:15:25,879
Speaker 2: I'm not big on therapy, but I can probably agree

1547
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:28,400
Speaker 2: that it will most likely help. I'm feeling a little

1548
01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:31,960
Speaker 2: better about everything. It's time for me hopefully be a father.

1549
01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:38,240
Speaker 2: And update five, The paternity test came back initially positive.

1550
01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:41,320
Speaker 3: For anyone that's going to see this, okay, wait, yeah,

1551
01:15:41,320 --> 01:15:42,599
Speaker 3: that's his child.

1552
01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:43,679
Speaker 4: This is good.

1553
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,240
Speaker 3: There's no cheating.

1554
01:15:45,439 --> 01:15:47,719
Speaker 1: I did doubt it, but I never I never fully

1555
01:15:47,840 --> 01:15:49,680
Speaker 1: was on the cheating train. And I'm proud of it.

1556
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:53,280
Speaker 4: I have to say that I he doubted him a

1557
01:15:53,320 --> 01:15:53,720
Speaker 4: little bit