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Speaker 2: be in your pajamas if you want.
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Speaker 1: That's blunt or joint. Bring the bloints. We'll see you there.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 1: I'm Erica and I'm Mela, and welcome to Good Mom's
Speaker 1: Bad Choices podcast show.
Speaker 2: If you guys are just joining us, welcome. If you've
Speaker 2: been listening for a while, what up, y'all.
Speaker 1: If you're just joining us, This is me Mela and
Speaker 1: I'm Erica, say you know the difference between our voices.
Speaker 2: You, guys, we have a problem. All of you are listening,
Speaker 2: but no one is reviewing.
Speaker 1: All of you are listening, but no one's listening because
Speaker 1: every episode we tell you to leave a motherfucking review
Speaker 1: and a rate at the end of the episode. So
Speaker 1: now we're gonna remind you in the beginning.
Speaker 2: Please, if you have a second, if you've been messing
Speaker 2: fucking with us, if you've been fucking with us since
Speaker 2: the beginning, if you just joined and you're down with
Speaker 2: them Good Mom's Tribe, take a second to go on
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, leave us a rating and review, rating and review. Unfortunately,
Speaker 2: ratings and reviews. Unfortunately they matter, they matter.
Speaker 1: And they're free. It just takes two minutes of your time.
Speaker 1: Scroll all the way down at the bottom of this
Speaker 1: episode and leave a rate in a review five stars. Thanks,
Speaker 1: I'm happy that you're joining us. If you don't know
Speaker 1: where you've found yourself a crazy place. Baby, it's not crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: So you always say that. You always say that to people,
Speaker 2: and then I'm like, why do you do that?
Speaker 1: Because it's provocative and it gets the people going, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you said that with my mom the interview, like.
Speaker 2: It's crazy, and I was like, oh Jesus Christ, he
Speaker 2: already thinks we're crazy, and now you're confirming the crazy.
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. If everyone thinks you're crazy, you
Speaker 1: just up the ante and you make it really crazy,
Speaker 1: you know, just like when the people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then you're like, but that when you set
Speaker 2: up this expectation of crazy and then we're not crazy.
Speaker 2: And then they're like this, bitches aren't crazy.
Speaker 1: That's never happened. This should never happen. I've never set
Speaker 1: it up. And then everyone was like, you're so calm,
Speaker 1: you're so relaxed. I had to do it to your
Speaker 1: mom because you know she feels that way. You know.
Speaker 1: It's just like when I call myself a witch and
Speaker 1: then people get weird and I'm like, I like it,
Speaker 1: like the wild factor.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well, welcome to our Crazy podcast.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like my personality. It's not that crazy,
Speaker 1: but it gets the people going.
Speaker 2: Okay, speaking of podcasting, I don't know if you guys
Speaker 2: have checked out our new little baby, Innovate her Now.
Speaker 2: We are holding a summit on June fifth in LA
Speaker 2: So if you want to start your own podcast, or
Speaker 2: you want to learn how to be a podcast manager.
Speaker 1: Or you've been podcasting and you want to network with
Speaker 1: some other podcasters and learn some even more gems, please
Speaker 1: join us June fifth in Los Angeles, California, Woodland Hills
Speaker 1: to be exact and learn how wellness and podcasting has
Speaker 1: really benefited our lives and how it can benefit yours.
Speaker 2: Honestly, podcasting has become such a source of therapy for me.
Speaker 2: I mean it's transformed my life. It has, it's done wonders,
Speaker 2: it's it's led me to so many relationships, friendships. It's
Speaker 2: been such a source of personal growth for me. So,
Speaker 2: if you are a podcaster, if you're not, if you're
Speaker 2: considering it, if you're thinking, oh my god, everyone has
Speaker 2: left that game podcast, they do, but they're not you.
Speaker 2: And also they don't have these tools, So make sure
Speaker 2: you go to innovate hernow dot com. If you're in LA,
Speaker 2: or if you're not in LA, come on fly out.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be very limited space for for LA people though,
Speaker 2: but also there's virtual space available, virtual for everyone, no
Speaker 2: matter where the fuck you are. If you're in Australia,
Speaker 2: pull up, pull up, Africa. We have we have listeners
Speaker 2: in a lot of places that I'm like, what.
Speaker 1: This will be the first time, like you can really
Speaker 1: interact with us in this like professional slash fun setting,
Speaker 1: slash wellness setting, and it will be It's gonna be
Speaker 1: really fun. I think the coolest thing about our summit
Speaker 1: is that this is us integrating our purpose driven lives
Speaker 1: that we've discovered via podcasting and podcasting together and really
Speaker 1: like speaking about it. You know, we've manifested this journey
Speaker 1: so much, but it hasn't been really until now that
Speaker 1: we've really talked about that journey in a professional space.
Speaker 1: So I think this is going to be a really cool.
Speaker 1: A lot of gems are going to be dropped, a
Speaker 1: lot of cool guests are going to be in the building.
Speaker 1: So if you're interested, please pull up. It's only for
Speaker 1: women because that's how we roll.
Speaker 2: Anyway. How are you.
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. I'm doing really well. I feel good.
Speaker 1: I feel activated. It is springtime and I feel like
Speaker 1: we are birthing a lot of babies. We have a
Speaker 1: lot of shit going on, but I keep telling myself, like, damn,
Speaker 1: I asked for this, and I'm so grateful for it.
Speaker 1: So like that's the best part, you know. It's just
Speaker 1: like when preparation meets opportunity.
Speaker 2: I was telling my friend that too. I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm so overwell, but I'm like, but I prayed for this.
Speaker 2: This is exactly what I asked for. There was a
Speaker 2: time in my life where I felt like I didn't
Speaker 2: really understand my purpose. I was like confused, and know,
Speaker 2: am I going to be an actor? Am I not?
Speaker 2: I am a failed actor. I don't know I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: a rapper's wife, you know, I don't. I didn't. I
Speaker 2: was so confused and scared, honestly, And so all the
Speaker 2: things that we have, although there's a lot, it feels
Speaker 2: overwhelming because we have a little, tiny team. I know everything,
Speaker 2: but it's growing.
Speaker 1: It's growing, and tiny team is growing and we have
Speaker 1: each other and that's amazing. And I think I'm really
Speaker 1: excited to show the world all the things we've been
Speaker 1: working on I know, so like reveal it.
Speaker 2: I know because when people are like, bitch, what is it?
Speaker 2: Y'a all been talking about all these little things forever. Huh,
Speaker 2: don't worry. We ain't just talking. It's coming.
Speaker 1: It's work. And that's the most amazing part about this
Speaker 1: life is like there's always work in different areas to do.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm working really hard on Good Moms and
Speaker 1: all these projects we have, but then there's always just
Speaker 1: like the life work that's never ending. And then that
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, you know, there's just you know, I'm dating,
Speaker 1: I'm not dating, I'm having too much sex, I'm not
Speaker 1: having enough. You know, there's just so much. There's so
Speaker 1: many distractions that I'm always happily involving myself in and
Speaker 1: then like retracting and going back and retracting, and it's
Speaker 1: like a beautiful journey but also grateful. My kid is safe.
Speaker 1: I just got back from Atlanta a couple weeks ago,
Speaker 1: and everything's GoChi. How about you.
Speaker 2: I'm good, I mean I have I can't lie you
Speaker 2: all know and be like having anxiety and.
Speaker 1: Shape you and everybody else.
Speaker 2: Bitch, I have been working through it. I've been waking
Speaker 2: up really early before Irie wakes up to exercise for
Speaker 2: at least thirty to forty five minutes, which has really
Speaker 2: been helping me because exercising really is such like a
Speaker 2: game changer for my brain. We had an episode last
Speaker 2: week with Devi that really like helped center me. She's
Speaker 2: such an incredible human and if you haven't listened to
Speaker 2: that episode, please please please make sure you go listen.
Speaker 1: To that episode.
Speaker 2: It's all about healing your inner child. We talked about
Speaker 2: a lot of other stuff too, So she's.
Speaker 1: Also on our Patreon giving us a very dope meditation
Speaker 1: for the full moon. So if you're not on Patreon,
Speaker 1: be sure to check that out at goodwaitpatreon dot com,
Speaker 1: backslash good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's amazing. I myself have been on a few
Speaker 2: different trips over the last month with family and also
Speaker 2: a little mini trip that was supposed to be work
Speaker 2: but then it ended up not being worked because the
Speaker 2: girl I was working with ended up getting COVID and
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I didn't tell you, Oh I
Speaker 2: didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Oh yeah, I had a ring call.
Speaker 2: So if you guys seen me post on Instagram, I
Speaker 2: did a ring collapse with Gypsy by Nature, which it's
Speaker 2: this amazing black owned jewelry brand by my girl a Nishka.
Speaker 1: She's also a fellow fellow.
Speaker 2: Mama Dope Dope Jewelry, and we did a collab for
Speaker 2: Black History Month. This face rings also the Earth Ring
Speaker 2: and so she lives in Miami. So I went out
Speaker 2: there and she ended up getting sick, and so I
Speaker 2: was like, fuck, that's why I'm here.
Speaker 1: You're also out there during like the ratchetest time, the
Speaker 1: second ratchetest time of the year, which is spring break
Speaker 1: in Miami. The first time the most ratchettess time in
Speaker 1: Miami of the year's Memorial Weekend. Everybody knows.
Speaker 2: I didn't know it was spring break, Okay, I had
Speaker 2: no idea.
Speaker 1: Niggas love Miami.
Speaker 2: Oh it was a lot, but I but I was
Speaker 2: able to stay away from it.
Speaker 1: It was cool. I went on a little hinge date
Speaker 1: out there.
Speaker 2: I met a guy.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I saw that on our close friends.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I posted it on close friends. I
Speaker 2: met this guy. We had dinner and he was cool,
Speaker 2: like he's going to be my friend. Like it's very
Speaker 2: it was very like we both were like, this is platonic.
Speaker 2: He reminds me of Kevin Hart. I don't know, why
Speaker 2: did that.
Speaker 1: Hurt your feelings? I feel like rejection in all forms,
Speaker 1: even if I don't want people.
Speaker 2: Because he didn't reject me. He said that, but I
Speaker 2: know he didn't mean it, But then I was happy
Speaker 2: he said it because that's how I felt.
Speaker 1: Okay, I know everyone love me.
Speaker 2: I kind of know that, Like, if I wanted to
Speaker 2: pursue it, it could be pursued.
Speaker 1: But it's better that we don't.
Speaker 2: He's just not it's just not we're not compatible compatible
Speaker 2: in that way. I don't have had a realization recently.
Speaker 2: I am in a new space in dating and sex
Speaker 2: where I don't want to have it. I don't really
Speaker 2: want to have sex anymore. I'm kind of cool and sex.
Speaker 2: I'm actually you know, I am dating somebody right now
Speaker 2: and I haven't been He hasn't been alerted of this
Speaker 2: new discovery.
Speaker 1: The same person.
Speaker 2: He hasn't been alerted yet. He'll probably be alerted today.
Speaker 1: We were having sex, but I'm sorry, I need to
Speaker 1: alert you that we're no longer. We can date, but
Speaker 1: we're not having sex.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't have any desire to like share
Speaker 2: myself with anyone. And it's not that I haven't met
Speaker 2: and I like, it's not that I haven't met anyone
Speaker 2: that's like that I would I'm sexually attracted to. And
Speaker 2: it's not that I don't have the like, the the
Speaker 2: drive to do it. It's just like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of in a place where I am open
Speaker 2: to connection. I am open to love, I am open
Speaker 2: to partnership, but I feel like I'm often giving myself
Speaker 2: sexually before I really get to know confirm the connection fully,
Speaker 2: and sex be confusing shit, and I just like, you know,
Speaker 2: let me just try something different. I want to try
Speaker 2: something different. And also something in my spirit is calling
Speaker 2: me to do this. I don't know exactly what it is,
Speaker 2: but I just I literally just don't have the desire.
Speaker 2: I want to spend time with people. I want to
Speaker 2: get to know people, but just without the suck. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I want to be intimate with people, but just like
Speaker 2: not in that way. And I think some of it too,
Speaker 2: came from a conversation that I had with this person
Speaker 2: that I'm seeing. I was telling him, Who's asking me
Speaker 2: if I was seeing other people? And I said, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm flirting with other people, and he was like why, like,
Speaker 2: what does that mean you need attention? I was like,
Speaker 2: oh god, no, it's like no, I mean's something I
Speaker 2: need attention. I'm getting to know people like Nigga, you
Speaker 2: ain't my man. And also like, I just feel like
Speaker 2: flirting this I was trying to I was trying to
Speaker 2: explain to him that flirting to me is not always sexual.
Speaker 2: Like flirting to there's an intimacy in like sharing conversation,
Speaker 2: when sharing conversation with someone that maybe shares the same
Speaker 2: views that you have about love, life, family, and there's
Speaker 2: an intimacy in that, and it's not related to sex.
Speaker 2: And he just could not understand that.
Speaker 1: And then I was.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, I need to explore this, this intimacy
Speaker 2: that that I'm talking to him about more because I
Speaker 2: just feel like it's something that I do with people
Speaker 2: simultaneously with sex, but I've never just done it without it,
Speaker 2: and like I just want to know. I feel like
Speaker 2: I will have I feel like it will make sex
Speaker 2: that much better. It will for me, it will like
Speaker 2: when I really feel like I okay, I really fuck
Speaker 2: with you and sex has nothing to do with it.
Speaker 2: Like I know, I'm good at sex, I know.
Speaker 1: Like, let's take it back to Daphne. Okay, I know
Speaker 1: this pussy is good, right, I don't have anything to
Speaker 1: prove to anyone, And that's.
Speaker 2: Where I'm feeling, like I have I know it. I
Speaker 2: know I'm good, like the men's have told me. I'm
Speaker 2: happy with my sex, my sex, Like I know that,
Speaker 2: like once I share that with someone, it's undeniably gonna
Speaker 2: be great. So why so there's no need for me
Speaker 2: to do that, you know, like, let's make sure that
Speaker 2: like the intimacy and like the connection is there first.
Speaker 2: So that's kind of like where I'm at right now.
Speaker 2: If anybody else wants to join me on the I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm going to.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm coming a little bit slowly, more
Speaker 1: behind you, but I'm coming. I feel like it's currectly.
Speaker 2: I had.
Speaker 1: I feel similarly, and I don't know if we just
Speaker 1: live fucking lives, but I have been deeply examining my
Speaker 1: addiction to attention and to love and like, like I
Speaker 1: went on a date. It's tender day. I said, I
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna tell anyone, but here we are. I wanted
Speaker 1: a tender day and maybe I've told already, like a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago or a few weeks ago, and like,
Speaker 1: I had sex with this person, and I I just
Speaker 1: told myself before I did it, I wasn't going to
Speaker 1: do it. In the midst of the conversation, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm bored. I was like, I'm gonna finish this wine
Speaker 1: and I'm a dip. And then I did a dip
Speaker 1: and then I had sex, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck is wrong with me? And here I am
Speaker 1: I have problems. So I just feel like that's something
Speaker 1: I really need to I've had this conversation with myself
Speaker 1: more than once. As if you've listened to this before
Speaker 1: you may know, but it's just something that I have
Speaker 1: to really dig deeper into. Also, speaking of like intimacy
Speaker 1: on different levels. I have been talking on the phone
Speaker 1: with this guy for like five months, literally for five
Speaker 1: months and increasingly more over like the last few months,
Speaker 1: and having really good conversations, really intellectual, deep conversations about perspectives,
Speaker 1: about just things we don't really see a lot of
Speaker 1: things I die, but the conversation has been really arousing
Speaker 1: and really intriguing. And then finally, in like the last
Speaker 1: two weeks we've met, and the first like three days
Speaker 1: he just like didn't touch me or try or like anything.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what the fuck We've been talking
Speaker 1: about for five months? And then like eventually whatever should happen.
Speaker 1: But I was like, damn, he is very disciplined and
Speaker 1: I'm not, and like he's very selective, and he makes
Speaker 1: that very clear that he's selective about who he shares
Speaker 1: himself with, and so I'm like, damn, I need to
Speaker 1: adopt that, you know, And not that I'm not selective,
Speaker 1: I am, but like not, I haven't been. There's obviously
Speaker 1: been times I haven't been enough, in my opinion, and
Speaker 1: it's just like you said, like I know, my pussy's good.
Speaker 1: I know. And even in that date, I went on
Speaker 1: and I didn't really even like this person, and I
Speaker 1: declared that early on I still did it. I was thinking, like,
Speaker 1: I'm so cool and you won't even shut the fuck
Speaker 1: up to hear to listen, and I was like, is
Speaker 1: it because I talk a lot and I have a podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm just used to fucking talking. But I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: he wasn't listening. He didn't even try to get to
Speaker 1: know me. But anyway, I just feel like I'm a
Speaker 1: hypersexual person and I'm aware of that, and I just
Speaker 1: have to kind of dive deeper into dissecting why and
Speaker 1: if it's healthy, and who who I'm sharing space and
Speaker 1: time and body with and if it's necessary. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: give me about like what Martha April. Yeah, probably swing
Speaker 1: around May. I'll be in the same boat.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm inviting anyone who's listening to join me
Speaker 2: on this journey. You can start today, DM me whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't really, but it's a Dicktalks. We're drinking another
Speaker 1: digtalk ticktogs. It's our second It's not her annual because
Speaker 1: we didn't do it last year because we had boyfriends.
Speaker 1: It's our second by annual, So second by annual dick tucks.
Speaker 2: And what do we say? Was it supposed to be
Speaker 2: ninety days?
Speaker 1: It's supposed to be ninety days. I'm not starting right now, so.
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not putting a number on it because
Speaker 2: I feel like that like just sets people up for
Speaker 2: fucking disaster. It puts too much expectation and disappointment in it.
Speaker 2: I'm just going with how I feel. I have this
Speaker 2: feeling that it's going to last for a while.
Speaker 1: Ever. The last time lasted me like six months, and
Speaker 1: I tried only to do ninety days. I think you
Speaker 1: get really comfortable and it once you commit to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like it's funny because I actually like I
Speaker 2: am seeing someone, but I've also been talking to someone
Speaker 2: else and he is so fine, so fine, and I
Speaker 2: don't really do super fine okay, And that's a whole
Speaker 2: other thing that like I've had to unpack too, because
Speaker 2: I've kind of avoided very fine men in my life
Speaker 2: because a problematic because if you, if I think you're fine,
Speaker 2: so does everybody else. And I don't want to deal
Speaker 2: with that. But I've realized that hasn't protected.
Speaker 1: Me from shit niggas. Shea too, What does your dad say?
Speaker 1: The trash man cheats everybody in cheats fine niggas, ugly niggas,
Speaker 1: broke niggas, rich niggas.
Speaker 2: And so I've kind of like judged fine men too
Speaker 2: and thought like, oh, they're kind of dumb. But I'm like, well, shit,
Speaker 2: I'm fine, Shit, I'm smart.
Speaker 1: They're kind of dumb, It's true, the kind of dumb.
Speaker 2: They're not, though, and he's not, and like he's really
Speaker 2: smart and he's really beautiful, like wow, gorgeously esthetically gorgeous.
Speaker 2: And I like this has been a practice for me too,
Speaker 2: like of not having sex because like everything in me
Speaker 2: in the past would have very much, so very easily,
Speaker 2: and so and he's been so cool and respectful and
Speaker 2: like we're just getting to know each other, you know,
Speaker 2: and so. But I don't know how long it's gonna last.
Speaker 2: We don't see. But yeah, I just want I just
Speaker 2: I just want my mind to be clear. And yeah,
Speaker 2: Dick be clouding the brain. It's true.
Speaker 1: Even saying this out loud, even think, okay, you I
Speaker 1: would get like sick of like telling my my deepest
Speaker 1: intimate secrets out loud. But I clearly I don't.
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Speaker 1: But I feel like like it'suck a fucking teenager having
Speaker 1: this conversation, Like I'm gonna stop having stupid sex, but
Speaker 1: I will next month. I know that I don't need
Speaker 1: to have sex, but I will three weeks because I
Speaker 1: love love and I love attention. With May four, I'll
Speaker 1: stop giving my pissy TV.
Speaker 2: Maybe five five it's a good.
Speaker 1: Number the day.
Speaker 2: No, I I'm a little embarras, don't be embarrassed and
Speaker 2: don't And like, you know, do you think men?
Speaker 1: Do you think men experience this? Like, no, I should
Speaker 1: be more intentional with my dick.
Speaker 2: I don't think men go on dick taxes.
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. When I was talking to my.
Speaker 2: On pussy toxes? Do you ever going to pussy talks?
Speaker 1: They don't? Do you want to hate this joint? Also,
Speaker 1: like do men go on pussy txes? They probably don't. Also,
Speaker 1: my new friend that I've been talking to, he was
Speaker 1: just saying like he used to be super super sexual,
Speaker 1: and then he just was cool and he's like I'll
Speaker 1: see a fine ass girl and I'll just be like cool.
Speaker 1: And something about him telling me that was turning me
Speaker 1: on because I'm like so selective you like me?
Speaker 2: Oh god, please don't say that word. You know, the
Speaker 2: selective triggers.
Speaker 1: But it made me think about myself, like there is
Speaker 1: a time where my my fangs would come out just
Speaker 1: some fine niggas, and I would have like, I'm a
Speaker 1: nigga inside, I'm a nigga. I've said this so many times.
Speaker 1: I'm very mannish. There have been times in my twenties
Speaker 1: where I'm just like, oh, he's fine target, you know what,
Speaker 1: Like it is like zone in, like a little psycho bitch.
Speaker 1: But it's just like as you get older, it's like
Speaker 1: they're gonna be fine niggas all the time. And there's
Speaker 1: gonna be people that intrigue your mind and intrigue you know,
Speaker 1: there's there's I'm a deeply intrigued person. I love people,
Speaker 1: so I have to chill. You know, everyone, I'm going
Speaker 1: to find people attractive because that's the type of person
Speaker 1: I am. I love people. I think people are beautiful mostly,
Speaker 1: But like, also, does that mean I have to sleep
Speaker 1: with everyone? To what capacity? Are you going to be intimate?
Speaker 1: You know, it could be energetically intimate. You know, we
Speaker 1: can moan heavy and like deep breathe and hug or
Speaker 1: we can actually be intimate. But is it necessary? And
Speaker 1: oh and he's also a deep reader, so he was
Speaker 1: making me read oh uh, Napoleon Hill and he was
Speaker 1: talking about sexual transcendence and I was reading about it,
Speaker 1: and it was just like pulling me in.
Speaker 2: It's like, while you're having sex, you transcend something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like just exchanging energy with another person and
Speaker 1: what that means, and like that energy exchange and it's
Speaker 1: just it had it should be intentional, and it was
Speaker 1: making me at first feel deep shame and like, oh no,
Speaker 1: how much which energy do I have inside of me?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: But also we're growing, and we also we always have
Speaker 1: the opportunity to evolve and make different change choices and
Speaker 1: change and then be like, oh, how does this work
Speaker 1: for me? You know, I don't think we.
Speaker 2: Go through seasons, and I don't think it's bad to
Speaker 2: have sex often with however many people you want. I
Speaker 2: just feel like, because I truly feel that way, like
Speaker 2: I'm not doing this because I want to because I
Speaker 2: think I'm better than anyone else. That isn't you know.
Speaker 2: It's really just like.
Speaker 1: What you need in what season?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like I feel like there's like a spring
Speaker 2: cleaning that's happening right now. And I've been having a
Speaker 2: lot of conversations with men and it's more in the
Speaker 2: conversations have been really enlightening, Like I had one the
Speaker 2: other day with the guy in Miami actually, and he
Speaker 2: was showing he was telling me that he was showing
Speaker 2: me this girl on Instagram. Actually, no, it didn't even
Speaker 2: start with him. This conversation has kind of hopped around
Speaker 2: to different men in my life and I'm getting the
Speaker 2: same answer from most of them. And the first person
Speaker 2: that is that guy that I said is really fine
Speaker 2: he was. I was telling him that, like, I typically
Speaker 2: don't really do like beautiful men like you, like you
Speaker 2: are fucking like model fine, you know. And he was like, yeah, well,
Speaker 2: men feel the same way about fine women. And I
Speaker 2: was like what. I was like, it's not the goal.
Speaker 2: Don't men always want fine women? And he was like,
Speaker 2: we do, but we don't want to always wife them
Speaker 2: because we always feel like, well, it's just too much,
Speaker 2: like it's a lot, like there's probably niggas in her
Speaker 2: dms or I'm gonna have to like like get all
Speaker 2: these niggas away from her. Let me find like she's
Speaker 2: just fine.
Speaker 1: Enough, quiet enough covered it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like really okay, And so then
Speaker 2: I and then then I went to Miami and I
Speaker 2: met this gentleman and he was telling me that, like
Speaker 2: I was asking what kind of women he likes, and
Speaker 2: he was showing me after we decided we're gonna beople
Speaker 2: toonic friends, he showed me like this, this beautiful girl
Speaker 2: that he that likes him. He's like, this girl she
Speaker 2: like is like love with me. She's all but my dick,
Speaker 2: But like, I can't bring her to the fucking he's
Speaker 2: a lawyer. He's like, I can't bring her to like
Speaker 2: my lawyer convention or like my fancy lawyer dinners. Like
Speaker 2: it's too much like all this ass, all these titties like.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what, Sun, I'm brand for his
Speaker 1: lawyer lifestyle. I was like, so, let me get this straight.
Speaker 2: So niggas want everything, but then they don't want you
Speaker 2: at all. Like I'm confused because.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they'd be scared.
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, I'm fine as hell. So is
Speaker 2: that why I don't have a man.
Speaker 1: Me an equation? Me too? I was like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: like fine.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is making me think of did
Speaker 2: I ever tell you how I saw my aunts.
Speaker 1: I'm like Sally Jesse.
Speaker 2: Rash, I am, oh my god, what god, sisters who
Speaker 2: are like crazy? And I remember when I was a kid,
Speaker 2: I saw them. I saw them on Sally. They're very tall,
Speaker 2: They're like six to two, and they're like they're athletic women,
Speaker 2: you know. They're like, men just don't want me because
Speaker 2: I'm too beautiful and I'm tall. And I'm like, is
Speaker 2: this me?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: Is this what happens in your thirties? But I do
Speaker 2: feel like I'm confident in my in who I am.
Speaker 2: And I don't mean fine just an esthetically. I mean
Speaker 2: like I know that I'm a good woman, and but
Speaker 2: I also aesthetically I feel like I'm good looking. So
Speaker 2: I just feel like, is that like? Because based on
Speaker 2: what they're saying to me, I just found it was
Speaker 2: so interesting that perspective because for me as a woman,
Speaker 2: I always feel like men are they are they're they're
Speaker 2: looking for certain qualities. But there's men are very triggered
Speaker 2: by are they there's at least sexually by the way
Speaker 2: a woman looks. Absolutely, But I guess that does not
Speaker 2: necessarily translate to even if you look good, Because I asked.
Speaker 1: Him, I'm like, so is she a good woman?
Speaker 2: Does she have a good job?
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, she's.
Speaker 2: Great, but it's too much for him, And I was like,
Speaker 2: what I was so confused. I'm like, so she's giving
Speaker 2: you everything that you asked for, but it's it's a
Speaker 2: little too much.
Speaker 1: I recognize that. I feel like this the first time
Speaker 1: in my life that I've been able. I'm starting to
Speaker 1: be able to be like, damn, I'm the shit right
Speaker 1: and say it without feeling like we'd bad about it,
Speaker 1: you know, weird. And the more I'm in front of men,
Speaker 1: like you know, dating or whatever I'm doing, like I
Speaker 1: want that stupid ass tender day and he was boasting
Speaker 1: about himself and it was like mediocre and I was
Speaker 1: just like, if he would shut the fuck up, you
Speaker 1: would know you're sitting amongst royalty. But that's how I
Speaker 1: was feeling. But like, I don't know who we're just
Speaker 1: talking to. Was a DeBie that I'm realizing I do
Speaker 1: the choosing. M I do the choosing, you know, Like
Speaker 1: what I'm realizing this is gonna sound. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't care. Everyone I choose is gonna choose me
Speaker 1: pretty much. I like that's how I feel like.
Speaker 2: I don't feel that way.
Speaker 1: I feel like the I.
Speaker 2: Don't feel that way. I haven't been shown that well.
Speaker 1: Like I just I feel like it's it's easy.
Speaker 2: For me to for people to fall in love with
Speaker 2: Fuck me and choose me are two different things. So
Speaker 2: what do you mean?
Speaker 1: Do you mean like have sex with you? I feel
Speaker 1: like if I wanted to be wiped by most of
Speaker 1: the men that I've dated, I could have that option,
Speaker 1: but I don't usually feel as compelled. And it's not
Speaker 1: that I just don't feel like it's compelled, but I
Speaker 1: feel like if I wanted to have relationships and like
Speaker 1: be chosen by certain like people I've dated in my past,
Speaker 1: that could be I would be able to you know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, I just.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing the choosing and I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm waiting for someone who's going to come into
Speaker 1: my realm that I'm like, Oh, it's all the niggas
Speaker 1: that I've been wanting added up and went, all the
Speaker 1: perfect mixtures, all the measurements, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Not that I'm like the bomb and I'm the best
Speaker 1: shit ever, but I'm coming into my power. I'm stepping
Speaker 1: into my power and I feel that, and I feel
Speaker 1: that even in dating. I feel that in my personal space.
Speaker 1: I feel like if I just I feel it, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I feel that as much people
Speaker 1: are gravitating towards me more heavily, that I have the
Speaker 1: power to choose and like it's kind of scary.
Speaker 2: It is it is. I feel that I feel that
Speaker 2: way mostly, but I.
Speaker 1: Feel like not all the time.
Speaker 2: I definitely feel like there have been definite times where
Speaker 2: I've not been chosen and like my feelings were hurt
Speaker 2: and I was like shocked, like what, like what do
Speaker 2: you mean? Like what else do you need from me?
Speaker 1: But absolutely I feel like I've had times where I
Speaker 1: haven't been chosen. But you can and I know you
Speaker 1: can identify with this. Had those times been taking place
Speaker 1: right now, would you have taken it as personally? No?
Speaker 2: Like now, no, no, And that's what I'm saying. There's
Speaker 2: growth happening right now.
Speaker 1: That's that's how I feel right now. There's times where
Speaker 1: i'd be I would feel rejected and take it deeply personally,
Speaker 1: but I'm so in tune with how cool I am
Speaker 1: and how dope of a person, and like I don't
Speaker 1: really feel I don't even the things that are quote
Speaker 1: unquote rejections, I don't feel that way. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's just like the journey.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean even me saying that I don't want
Speaker 2: to have sex is essentially me doing the choosing because
Speaker 2: because I have se because I'm doing the choosing, like
Speaker 2: I'm choosing who I share space with. Intimately, I have
Speaker 2: a serious boundary here, you know, there's a real boundary,
Speaker 2: and it's with love. It's not like fuck you, it's
Speaker 2: just more so like what I don't want to Let's
Speaker 2: just do this for now, Let's see this. Let's see
Speaker 2: if you how how interested you actually are in me?
Speaker 2: If I don't if we don't have sex, be friends first.
Speaker 2: I mean even in our relationship with my baby daddy,
Speaker 2: Like our relationship may not have been perfect, but it
Speaker 2: lasted for a long time. I think because we were
Speaker 2: friends first. You know, there was a we had a
Speaker 2: long period of time where we it was like a
Speaker 2: honeymoon period for years, Like there were no arguments. It
Speaker 2: was beautiful. Whether or not we're meant to be together
Speaker 2: now is something different. But the friendship, though, is what
Speaker 2: held that for sure, And I feel like I haven't
Speaker 2: really done that and like again, and I want to
Speaker 2: do that again. I know that that's I know for sure,
Speaker 2: that's something I want to take from that relationship into
Speaker 2: my next because even thinking about the real relationship that
Speaker 2: I got in COVID, like that was so quick, there
Speaker 2: was no friendship involved. And then it was just like
Speaker 2: we're getting to know each other while while having sex,
Speaker 2: while it's like loving each other while integrating children, while
Speaker 2: integrating friends, Like that's a lot of that's a lot,
Speaker 2: like let's just take it one day at a time.
Speaker 1: I think the most beautiful thing about friendship based first too,
Speaker 1: I'm noticing is that it comes with this, Uh, it's
Speaker 1: easy to be radically honest when you start in a
Speaker 1: friend's space because I'm not trying to prove shit to you.
Speaker 1: What did I do last week? Some crazy shit?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 1: That's it too.
Speaker 2: It's the like I think, I'm like, I need you
Speaker 2: to know exactly who I am.
Speaker 1: I want you to know. Wait, I want you to
Speaker 1: know who exactly who I am. But it's easier to
Speaker 1: present myself exactly who I am without first having the
Speaker 1: expectation that I want you to keep me forever. Right,
Speaker 1: Because when we begin to want to be kept forever
Speaker 1: and want a relationship and want someone to love us,
Speaker 1: you start to feel this deep longing for them to
Speaker 1: accept you, and then you start to even self reflect
Speaker 1: about this the person that you are and the things
Speaker 1: that you do and whether they're acceptable, especially for women
Speaker 1: as a wife or as a girlfriend, because you know,
Speaker 1: like how much just like sometimes I'll meet when I
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, like my podcast is cool, and
Speaker 1: then I want to date them. I'm like, please, don't listen.
Speaker 1: Whatever you do, don't listen, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And then even in this, like these these newer relationships,
Speaker 1: I'm deeply examining how I feel about myself versus how
Speaker 1: how I will perceive myself when someone else sees me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because there are two different things.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel empowered and cool about what I do,
Speaker 1: and then sometimes I'm like, oh, no, I've said way
Speaker 1: too much and I'm never gonna be married, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean.
Speaker 1: And it's just like how we see ourselves versus how
Speaker 1: we see ourselves through someone else's perspective is like those
Speaker 1: things really need to be like blurred out and cleared
Speaker 1: out and cleansed, because as long as you're expecting someone
Speaker 1: to love you and you don't really love and accept yourself,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be fucked up. Even like me doing that
Speaker 1: tender shit and like feeling really bad about it. And
Speaker 1: then I was kind of like not beating myself up
Speaker 1: about it, but like disappointed, and it's okay to be disappointed.
Speaker 1: But also I'm like, Okay, you've done You've done more
Speaker 1: shit in your past like this one fuck up, this
Speaker 1: one unnecessary person, Like Okay, it's okay. Keep it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you haven't grown. And that's the thing. It's like, Fuck,
Speaker 1: I thought I've done the work. I thought i've grown.
Speaker 1: I thought I'm better than this, And it's like that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you haven't done the work. It means you've
Speaker 1: you've been doing fuck dumb shit for your whole life
Speaker 1: and you'll slip up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: But just like it's like that loving yourself like you
Speaker 2: would your child that we were talking about last week
Speaker 2: about like you know, if your child fucked up like
Speaker 2: you you letting you, letting them know that they did it,
Speaker 2: but also knowing like you're it's okay, like because kids
Speaker 2: will be like no world, and that's how we are.
Speaker 2: We're not outwardly like crying like that necessarily, but inside
Speaker 2: we're almost abusing ourselves even more. At least kids get
Speaker 2: it out, you know, cry about it in a dramatic way.
Speaker 2: We're all internalizing shit and then beating ourselves up about
Speaker 2: it and not saying it's okay, it's okay, Yeah you
Speaker 2: fucked up, but like.
Speaker 1: It's okay, there's you can just you did.
Speaker 2: You're you're learning. You're still in the learning, and like
Speaker 2: even when you get past the learning, which I don't
Speaker 2: that doesn't really ever happen, you still might fuck up sometimes,
Speaker 2: so don't I mean, I know, I mean, it's it's
Speaker 2: the best part about it all.
Speaker 1: Is that you are aware of it and acknowledging it
Speaker 1: and being able to be transparent in front of someone else,
Speaker 1: like yeah, I've done this and that, and like you
Speaker 1: can't make me feel bad about myself, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I told this guy that because he has
Speaker 1: like very interesting like expectations of women, and like it's
Speaker 1: something we discussed. But uh, I said, this is the thing.
Speaker 1: I said. What I don't want is that for us
Speaker 1: to feel like we love each other right now we
Speaker 1: like each other, but then later down the line, I
Speaker 1: love you and something comes out about me or you
Speaker 1: learn some information about me, and then oooh.
Speaker 2: Girl, that's literally the same shit, and I'm not going
Speaker 2: to live on eggshells, and then.
Speaker 1: I'm like fighting for your validation and then and a
Speaker 1: questioning who I am from past decision proving my value.
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel that way. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to put myself in the position to feel that
Speaker 1: way in the future. So I don't want to even
Speaker 1: like I can say I love you and feel all
Speaker 1: the fields, but like, let's not try and plan what
Speaker 1: this is because your expectation of me may not be realistic.
Speaker 1: And I don't even want to try to fit into
Speaker 1: this box of like expectation that's not realistic for me
Speaker 1: in my process because it's just going to make me
Speaker 1: be mean to myself and feel sad and feel bad
Speaker 1: and I'm the shit right now. I don't even need
Speaker 1: that type of energy. And even if it's direct or
Speaker 1: in like directly or indirectly, I want to be aligned
Speaker 1: with myself. And being aligned with myself includes everybody else
Speaker 1: that I love and is in my space also being
Speaker 1: aligned with whoever that person is, and I'm able to
Speaker 1: show who that person is in that moment because it
Speaker 1: is for ever changing amen. This week's Dating with Erica
Speaker 1: and Mila breaking news.
Speaker 2: Eric is not having sex. Jamila's thinking about it.
Speaker 1: They're still figuring it out. Oh my god, should we
Speaker 1: read an advice question?
Speaker 2: What do you think? Which one?
Speaker 1: Because you know we have some.
Speaker 2: Well, there's there's a deep one. There's one that's very
Speaker 2: close to my heart. Actually, there's the one where they
Speaker 2: use the V word. So which one are we going with?
Speaker 2: B word V? Vagina victim? Oh that's not that's not
Speaker 2: the one. Okay, Yeah, we're gonna get to that one.
Speaker 2: Maybe that after this one. Okay, Okay, Hi ladies, My
Speaker 2: boyfriend slash baby daddy cheated and the girl is pregnant.
Speaker 1: They both want me to be a woman.
Speaker 2: About the situation, my heart says stay, but my mind
Speaker 2: says they.
Speaker 1: Both want me to be a woman.
Speaker 2: Why the fuck is especially a factor in what wants
Speaker 2: need to be happy?
Speaker 1: Don't ever tell me what I need to be doing.
Speaker 1: You needed to keep your relation, my relationship, out of
Speaker 1: your legs.
Speaker 2: But now we're here, right, They both want me to
Speaker 2: be a woman. About the situation, My heart says stay,
Speaker 2: but my mind says leave. I just had a baby
Speaker 2: with him, and she knew we were together. I don't
Speaker 2: know what to do.
Speaker 1: Wait, is some someone that says that she had twins,
Speaker 1: she's pregnant with twins.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so she's having twins and she's four to five
Speaker 2: months pregnant.
Speaker 1: How much can you handle?
Speaker 2: Babe?
Speaker 1: Can you handle that? I mean, I if you love
Speaker 1: someone in your heart is saying stay, Who the fuck
Speaker 1: am I to tell you? Otherwise? People fuck up, People
Speaker 1: make mistakes. Now, a bitch like me, I'm highly sensitive
Speaker 1: and highly reactive, and I don't know if I would,
Speaker 1: you know, in my knowing myself put myself in the
Speaker 1: position to be tortured for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: It's a hard decision to make it. Only you can
Speaker 1: make it. Leave him. Run run, bitch, Run as fast
Speaker 1: as you can.
Speaker 2: I okay, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: How old are you?
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't I'm I'm kidding, But I'm not
Speaker 2: kidding only because I've been through this situation personally, And
Speaker 2: it's when you have a child with someone and that person,
Speaker 2: especially you just had a baby and that person, and
Speaker 2: that's a sacred like bond that you share with that person,
Speaker 2: especially if it's the first one between you or that person.
Speaker 1: The most sacred covenant you will ever make with the
Speaker 1: ot to.
Speaker 2: Have to share that space twice because the bitch is
Speaker 2: having twins within like within with close proximity. That's a
Speaker 2: lot on my heart for you to for me to
Speaker 2: have to be and look at you every day and.
Speaker 1: Able to trust you and be strong through and.
Speaker 2: And be nice and being a new mom is hard
Speaker 2: enough to have to also be healing and from that.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's it's like I personally could not
Speaker 2: do that. I didn't do it, And honestly that's why
Speaker 2: we started Good Mom's Bad Choices, not why, but it's
Speaker 2: spawned this because I wouldn't be here had I not
Speaker 2: had the strength to be like, you know what, I'm
Speaker 2: not tolerating that. I'm not doing that with you, even
Speaker 2: though like I love, I love that person and I
Speaker 2: still love him, I will always love him. He shares
Speaker 2: we share human we share a bond forever and ever
Speaker 2: and ever. But I just don't think that that. I
Speaker 2: feel like there's something better for you out there. I
Speaker 2: feel like when you experience extreme betrayal and pain and hurt,
Speaker 2: it's for a reason, and a lot of that reason
Speaker 2: isn't to stay in it. It's not to stay and
Speaker 2: fight through it, like like we were saying, like a
Speaker 2: lot of women, we measure our value on how much
Speaker 2: we can tolerate.
Speaker 1: And that's not how you measure your value.
Speaker 2: And that is not how you should measure your value.
Speaker 2: You are not any less strong because you decided to
Speaker 2: choose yourself, and I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: In fact, you're stronger for choosing yourself.
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, it's not an easy road.
Speaker 2: I know it's not. I know that like deciding to
Speaker 2: leave you, to separate your family, and maybe I don't
Speaker 2: know what your job situation is. I don't know if
Speaker 2: he takes care of you, I don't know. But it's
Speaker 2: not an easy it's not an easy choice. But I
Speaker 2: promise you you'll be okay if that's your If that
Speaker 2: is is that, that's what your heart is telling you,
Speaker 2: and you're listening to this and you feel like, damn,
Speaker 2: I feel this. I feel like she's right in this moment. Like,
Speaker 2: I promise you you'll be okay. I promise, But I
Speaker 2: also promise said you know, we're really good at handling
Speaker 2: trauma as women, So you might be okay ish if
Speaker 2: you stay.
Speaker 1: But will it be easy? Absolutely not, And will you
Speaker 1: be wondering damn? Was there maybe something better or someone else, or.
Speaker 2: And you will be in pro close proximity not only
Speaker 2: to your partner that's betrayed you, but to this woman.
Speaker 2: Because you're going to be in close proximity to your
Speaker 2: partner who's dealing with this woman.
Speaker 1: This, this scab will be very difficult to heal because
Speaker 1: they will be constant contact, contact and content with both
Speaker 1: opportunities for the womb to reopen.
Speaker 2: You're always gonna have to know what's kind of going on, Like,
Speaker 2: there comes a point where I don't want to know,
Speaker 2: get me away from that shit.
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, you know, And she already doesn't
Speaker 1: seem like she's in a healthy space. Yeah, to recommend
Speaker 1: that you be an adult.
Speaker 2: About her, Yeah, be an adult, bitch. You know what
Speaker 2: that she tried to do that to me too. And
Speaker 2: let me tell you the audacity, the audacity of certain women, men, whatever,
Speaker 2: people in general who have basically just disrespected you and
Speaker 2: your whole family to tell.
Speaker 1: You that you should react, that you need to.
Speaker 2: That you need to settle down, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: That's you do, you will get your ass beat. Sorry,
Speaker 2: you can tell I'm still I'm still not healed all
Speaker 2: the way from that, and she said I want to
Speaker 2: beat her ass.
Speaker 1: That's what she wrote in the message.
Speaker 2: So I feel that. Uh, but yeah, I'm going to
Speaker 2: encourage you to do you boo anyway, any other advice.
Speaker 1: Questions, Yeah, someone was just giving us advice speaking of audacities.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm already hyped. Now now I'm hyped.
Speaker 2: You know I'm triggered.
Speaker 1: Speaking of audacity. Huh. You guys, we get a lot
Speaker 1: of emails which slip through our hands and eyes because
Speaker 1: we need an assistant. Does anyone want to be our
Speaker 1: virtual assistant? Please email production at Good Momsbad Choices dot com. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we get a lot of emails. Very rarely do we
Speaker 1: get these kind though, because I feel like everybody kind
Speaker 1: of mostly gets us. And it's okay if you don't.
Speaker 1: But we're here to clarify. Okay, I know this show
Speaker 1: is a lot of things. I know we talk about
Speaker 1: a lot of things. We cover a lot of areas
Speaker 1: where parents were, moms were women, we're black, We're talking
Speaker 1: about sex and love and dating and witchy shit. But
Speaker 1: we talked about whatever the fuck we want. But most importantly,
Speaker 1: I want you guys to know we're talking about our
Speaker 1: personal experiences because this show, this brand, this shit is real.
Speaker 1: This is very personal to us. This is our life.
Speaker 1: It's a percentage, it's not all of it, but this
Speaker 1: is our life. And so this is a personal labor
Speaker 1: of love on some real shit. Laborer tears of love,
Speaker 1: of a lot of things, of experiences, of stories. But
Speaker 1: we rarely get advice for they giving us advice on
Speaker 1: how we should we could better market to our audience.
Speaker 1: But we got this recently and Erica was not happy
Speaker 1: this day.
Speaker 2: I couldn't respond. Have we responded?
Speaker 1: This is a response.
Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1: Are you ready?
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I look he kind of forgot.
Speaker 2: It's kind of but I know I was pissed.
Speaker 1: It's kind of cute, It's kind of it was kind
Speaker 1: of also hilarious, and it's also just like, let me
Speaker 1: just let me sit you down for one moment, please, ma'am.
Speaker 2: I know she was said in love, but also.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to say back in love. Okay, Hi, ladies.
Speaker 1: I love your podcast, all of it, the sexual topics,
Speaker 1: the spiritual topics, money march, and just the fact that
Speaker 1: you're being brave and doing it. I've always lacked the courage. However,
Speaker 1: I am not a quote person of color. Peach Caucasian.
Speaker 2: You get that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Peach Caucasian, that's her, Shae, you get the point right.
Speaker 1: And I do think that you are victimizing yourself by
Speaker 1: harping on statements such as we people of color end quote.
Speaker 1: I do not think that you grew up in the
Speaker 1: way you did because you are girls of color. I'm
Speaker 1: a woman. There are many more people who grew up
Speaker 1: that way. I think I can relate to you on
Speaker 1: many aspects mentioned above, in addition to being an immigrant,
Speaker 1: growing up on social aid, not learning how to handle
Speaker 1: money as a teen, and not being allowed to ask
Speaker 1: questions because this is not what Catholic people do. I
Speaker 1: think if you allowed yourselves to move past that point,
Speaker 1: you would reach a larger audience and attract many more listeners.
Speaker 1: I hope you find this helpful.
Speaker 2: You rock.
Speaker 1: Ps. My husband is the person of color, I have
Speaker 1: an eleven month old baby and live in Socaw.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, well, I'm retriggered, but I'm actually I feel
Speaker 3: better about it. Listen, miss Peach, and I'm only calling
Speaker 3: you that because you said it.
Speaker 2: Where do I begin?
Speaker 1: Please don't ever address any black people and use the
Speaker 1: word victimize yourselves. That's not going to go.
Speaker 2: If you have a story to share and you feel
Speaker 2: as if that you and you've had everyone is going
Speaker 2: through shit. I think that that the podcast is never
Speaker 2: contesting that, we're never arguing whether or not women share
Speaker 2: the same struggles and humans. We're black people are not
Speaker 2: the only people on welfare or.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that triggered as have you ever talked about welfare?
Speaker 2: I'm so confused, And are also not the only people
Speaker 2: that struggle with financial literacy. We're not saying that, no
Speaker 2: one has ever said that.
Speaker 1: What we are saying is, Hi, I'm a black woman,
Speaker 1: the only woman I've ever been because that's my life.
Speaker 1: This is me talking a black woman of color, this
Speaker 1: is my experience. My name is Jamila.
Speaker 2: That's what we're saying, and systematic racism exists.
Speaker 1: If me speaking, if you tuning in to my show
Speaker 1: about us about my fucking experience, and then you tell
Speaker 1: me how I should address me and talk about my
Speaker 1: fucking experience and what verbiage I should use to better
Speaker 1: include a broader audience. When I didn't even fucking ask
Speaker 1: you about your marketing fucking advice. It just doesn't. It
Speaker 1: just doesn't make sense. Furthermore, Babe, like you too, and
Speaker 1: I get it, and I don't want you to feel excluded,
Speaker 1: nor did we ever want anyone to feel excluded. That's
Speaker 1: not while we're here. But I want everyone to understand
Speaker 1: and to know everyone has a separate experience. Erica in
Speaker 1: Ies is similar in this sense that we both grew
Speaker 1: up in the same area, blocks away from one another,
Speaker 1: in a predominantly white space. So we are we share
Speaker 1: that experience in a lot of ways, and so we
Speaker 1: can only speak on that. We're not here to exclude anyone,
Speaker 1: but we've lived a life of exclusion just by existing
Speaker 1: in this space.
Speaker 2: Do you feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 1: Good? Check out why this is how we felt k
Speaker 1: through twelfth grade. Honestly, like, welcome to real life. This
Speaker 1: is just a podcast. You could turn it off.
Speaker 2: I'm not, and I don't think that's what she wants
Speaker 2: to do. I think and I don't want to make
Speaker 2: you feel like an asshole, but this was an asshole email.
Speaker 2: I don't think maybe you are an asshole, but this
Speaker 2: is an asshole email. And I need you to check
Speaker 2: yourself and really ask yourself why you felt so compelled
Speaker 2: to type this out two women of color, black women,
Speaker 2: Latina woman here too, and tell us that we are
Speaker 2: victimizing ourselves by calling ourselves women of color, which a
Speaker 2: we are, and relating it to the systematic experience that
Speaker 2: people of color experience in so many sections of the world.
Speaker 2: Whether it's finances, whether it's sexuality, whether it's motherhood, whether
Speaker 2: it's the job wherever you work, whether it's just walking
Speaker 2: down the motherfucking street, whether it's going to get a
Speaker 2: fucking candy bar at the liquor store, whether it's dropping
Speaker 2: your It just goes on and on and on and
Speaker 2: on and on and on and on. And I'm not
Speaker 2: here to make this a whole racial thing, but you
Speaker 2: started it. So I just need you to just really
Speaker 2: check yourself and also understand that, yes, me and Mila
Speaker 2: we have a podcast. Of Course we care about marketing.
Speaker 2: Of course we want people to find us and shit,
Speaker 2: but this is really a podcast based in true passion
Speaker 2: and love and sharing our personal experiences. I don't do
Speaker 2: this for the fucking clout. I do this because I
Speaker 2: love connecting with people. I love talking to my best friend,
Speaker 2: I love healing, I love learning, and I don't.
Speaker 1: Really give a fuck about your broad audience. We're not
Speaker 1: here to cater to anyone particular audience because that's not
Speaker 1: what brought us here. It's just that we're speaking. And
Speaker 1: if you resonate, great. If you're offended, I'm sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: not sorry. It's no other podcast. There's no personal you know,
Speaker 1: hatred being spewed by speaking our experience, and if you
Speaker 1: feel that way, you should check it.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: And lastly, most important, lastly, the last part of the email. Lastly, please,
Speaker 1: this is the number one role of white people. Do
Speaker 1: not throw your black or person of color husband in
Speaker 1: the mix to justify your stupid ass letter that you've
Speaker 1: typed out. Being married to tyrone or whoever the fuck
Speaker 1: you're married to doesn't really justify.
Speaker 2: The letter, doesn't put you in closer proximity to blackness.
Speaker 2: So stop.
Speaker 1: And actually, you're doing your black or child of color
Speaker 1: a disservice by even using your husband or your baby
Speaker 1: daddy as a token of don't worry, this doesn't come
Speaker 1: from a place of because that kind of says the opposite.
Speaker 1: It's not cool. Don't throw your personal color husband in
Speaker 1: the mix to validate your words. It's kind of hurtful.
Speaker 2: It is. It's very hurtful. And I'm sure you love him,
Speaker 2: and I'm sure he loves you, and I'm sure you've
Speaker 2: experienced his experience in ways. But that doesn't make me
Speaker 2: feel closer or it doesn't make me feel less offended
Speaker 2: by your email, because I feel like maybe you knew
Speaker 2: your email was a bit offensive, and you thought by
Speaker 2: throwing that in you were going to relate to us
Speaker 2: in some way. That doesn't work ever, in fact, it
Speaker 2: never works. So I love you. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you'll ever listen to this.
Speaker 1: Podcast again, but we wish you peace.
Speaker 2: But I wish you peace, and I hope that maybe
Speaker 2: like this will help you in the future.
Speaker 1: No mistake anyway.
Speaker 2: Anyway, we got a bounce.
Speaker 1: We have shit to do. I'm high. Thank you. It's
Speaker 1: nice catching up with you as always. Of course I
Speaker 1: love you. I love you too. It's like our one
Speaker 1: time we were not like acting crazy like must do shit.
Speaker 1: We're like, let's talk like regular humans. Listen, this goes off,
Speaker 1: We're gonna be acting crazy again.
Speaker 2: Did you build the deck?
Speaker 1: Did you do the word you you stop there and
Speaker 1: look at that shit? Did you send the email?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Anyway, I hope, I hope you guys
Speaker 2: have great week. Make sure to rate and review this episode.
Speaker 2: You guys were almost at a thousand.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I have forty off. I don't understand
Speaker 1: why no one's listening to us. I know you're listening.
Speaker 1: Just fucking rate and review it. Just scroll all the
Speaker 1: way down to the bottom and say they're great, yay,
Speaker 1: I love them. Do it. No, this is free. It
Speaker 1: costs you nothing. You're being entertained for free. You're hearing
Speaker 1: all of our fucking business for free. Just rate and
Speaker 1: review us. Thanks on Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 2: Make sure you go follow our patreon for more bonus
Speaker 2: content for debbies, meditation, and so much more at patreon
Speaker 2: dot com. Backslash good Mom's Bad Choices, And I said,
Speaker 2: I love you.