1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so excited. It's motherfucking four twenty,

2
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:10,039
Speaker 1: our favorite holiday, that's right, and we're celebrating the right

3
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:14,880
Speaker 1: way at outside Cinema with Redman and Methodman watching our

4
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,040
Speaker 1: favorite four to twenty movie, How Hi Yes?

5
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,840
Speaker 2: Come join us on four to twenty in downtown LA

6
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:26,520
Speaker 2: for our favorite outdoor drive in movie experience. It's gonna

7
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,680
Speaker 2: be bombed. We're gonna do a live roll up, so

8
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,920
Speaker 2: like a many tiny little cute podcast. Essentially, if you're

9
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,680
Speaker 2: a part of our tribe at Patreon, then you know

10
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,800
Speaker 2: what a rollup is. And we're gonna have a special

11
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,880
Speaker 2: guest join us. And not only that, y'all just can

12
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,240
Speaker 2: be in your pajamas if you want.

13
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,160
Speaker 1: Just roll up in the pajamas. Roll up in the pajamas,

14
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:48,159
Speaker 1: bring your whatever you please in your car, and chill

15
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,199
Speaker 1: with us. That's right. Go to outside Cinema dot com

16
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 1: and use GMBC for ten dollars off Outside cinemas dot Com.

17
00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,400
Speaker 2: GMBC, get those ten dollars off, roll them blowints.

18
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:08,479
Speaker 1: That's blunt or joint. Bring the bloints. We'll see you there.

19
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,240
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

20
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:32,400
Speaker 1: I'm Erica and I'm Mela, and welcome to Good Mom's

21
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,840
Speaker 1: Bad Choices podcast show.

22
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,560
Speaker 2: If you guys are just joining us, welcome. If you've

23
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,319
Speaker 2: been listening for a while, what up, y'all.

24
00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:42,720
Speaker 1: If you're just joining us, This is me Mela and

25
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,400
Speaker 1: I'm Erica, say you know the difference between our voices.

26
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,160
Speaker 2: You, guys, we have a problem. All of you are listening,

27
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:50,240
Speaker 2: but no one is reviewing.

28
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,960
Speaker 1: All of you are listening, but no one's listening because

29
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:57,040
Speaker 1: every episode we tell you to leave a motherfucking review

30
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,560
Speaker 1: and a rate at the end of the episode. So

31
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,320
Speaker 1: now we're gonna remind you in the beginning.

32
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,960
Speaker 2: Please, if you have a second, if you've been messing

33
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,000
Speaker 2: fucking with us, if you've been fucking with us since

34
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,600
Speaker 2: the beginning, if you just joined and you're down with

35
00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 2: them Good Mom's Tribe, take a second to go on

36
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,519
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, leave us a rating and review, rating and review. Unfortunately,

37
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,000
Speaker 2: ratings and reviews. Unfortunately they matter, they matter.

38
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,760
Speaker 1: And they're free. It just takes two minutes of your time.

39
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,120
Speaker 1: Scroll all the way down at the bottom of this

40
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,600
Speaker 1: episode and leave a rate in a review five stars. Thanks,

41
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,680
Speaker 1: I'm happy that you're joining us. If you don't know

42
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,880
Speaker 1: where you've found yourself a crazy place. Baby, it's not crazy.

43
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:39,519
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.

44
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,480
Speaker 2: So you always say that. You always say that to people,

45
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,000
Speaker 2: and then I'm like, why do you do that?

46
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,280
Speaker 1: Because it's provocative and it gets the people going, oh

47
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,720
Speaker 1: my god, you said that with my mom the interview, like.

48
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,480
Speaker 2: It's crazy, and I was like, oh Jesus Christ, he

49
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,680
Speaker 2: already thinks we're crazy, and now you're confirming the crazy.

50
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,960
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. If everyone thinks you're crazy, you

51
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,160
Speaker 1: just up the ante and you make it really crazy,

52
00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,239
Speaker 1: you know, just like when the people.

53
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then you're like, but that when you set

54
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,480
Speaker 2: up this expectation of crazy and then we're not crazy.

55
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,920
Speaker 2: And then they're like this, bitches aren't crazy.

56
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:09,239
Speaker 1: That's never happened. This should never happen. I've never set

57
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,239
Speaker 1: it up. And then everyone was like, you're so calm,

58
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:15,680
Speaker 1: you're so relaxed. I had to do it to your

59
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,880
Speaker 1: mom because you know she feels that way. You know.

60
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 1: It's just like when I call myself a witch and

61
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,880
Speaker 1: then people get weird and I'm like, I like it,

62
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:24,880
Speaker 1: like the wild factor.

63
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,320
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well, welcome to our Crazy podcast.

64
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,040
Speaker 1: It's kind of like my personality. It's not that crazy,

65
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,360
Speaker 1: but it gets the people going.

66
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,119
Speaker 2: Okay, speaking of podcasting, I don't know if you guys

67
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 2: have checked out our new little baby, Innovate her Now.

68
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,760
Speaker 2: We are holding a summit on June fifth in LA

69
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,480
Speaker 2: So if you want to start your own podcast, or

70
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,520
Speaker 2: you want to learn how to be a podcast manager.

71
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,600
Speaker 1: Or you've been podcasting and you want to network with

72
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 1: some other podcasters and learn some even more gems, please

73
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,960
Speaker 1: join us June fifth in Los Angeles, California, Woodland Hills

74
00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:01,120
Speaker 1: to be exact and learn how wellness and podcasting has

75
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,400
Speaker 1: really benefited our lives and how it can benefit yours.

76
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,040
Speaker 2: Honestly, podcasting has become such a source of therapy for me.

77
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:13,240
Speaker 2: I mean it's transformed my life. It has, it's done wonders,

78
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,960
Speaker 2: it's it's led me to so many relationships, friendships. It's

79
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:21,080
Speaker 2: been such a source of personal growth for me. So,

80
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,920
Speaker 2: if you are a podcaster, if you're not, if you're

81
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,160
Speaker 2: considering it, if you're thinking, oh my god, everyone has

82
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 2: left that game podcast, they do, but they're not you.

83
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,520
Speaker 2: And also they don't have these tools, So make sure

84
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,360
Speaker 2: you go to innovate hernow dot com. If you're in LA,

85
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,480
Speaker 2: or if you're not in LA, come on fly out.

86
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,120
Speaker 2: It's gonna be very limited space for for LA people though,

87
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,520
Speaker 2: but also there's virtual space available, virtual for everyone, no

88
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,240
Speaker 2: matter where the fuck you are. If you're in Australia,

89
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,160
Speaker 2: pull up, pull up, Africa. We have we have listeners

90
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,360
Speaker 2: in a lot of places that I'm like, what.

91
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,240
Speaker 1: This will be the first time, like you can really

92
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:58,200
Speaker 1: interact with us in this like professional slash fun setting,

93
00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:00,960
Speaker 1: slash wellness setting, and it will be It's gonna be

94
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,680
Speaker 1: really fun. I think the coolest thing about our summit

95
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:11,279
Speaker 1: is that this is us integrating our purpose driven lives

96
00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:16,719
Speaker 1: that we've discovered via podcasting and podcasting together and really

97
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,680
Speaker 1: like speaking about it. You know, we've manifested this journey

98
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 1: so much, but it hasn't been really until now that

99
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 1: we've really talked about that journey in a professional space.

100
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,400
Speaker 1: So I think this is going to be a really cool.

101
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,200
Speaker 1: A lot of gems are going to be dropped, a

102
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 1: lot of cool guests are going to be in the building.

103
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,000
Speaker 1: So if you're interested, please pull up. It's only for

104
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,000
Speaker 1: women because that's how we roll.

105
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:40,920
Speaker 2: Anyway. How are you.

106
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,120
Speaker 1: I'm doing well. I'm doing really well. I feel good.

107
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,600
Speaker 1: I feel activated. It is springtime and I feel like

108
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,680
Speaker 1: we are birthing a lot of babies. We have a

109
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,760
Speaker 1: lot of shit going on, but I keep telling myself, like, damn,

110
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,880
Speaker 1: I asked for this, and I'm so grateful for it.

111
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,400
Speaker 1: So like that's the best part, you know. It's just

112
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,839
Speaker 1: like when preparation meets opportunity.

113
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,039
Speaker 2: I was telling my friend that too. I was like,

114
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,240
Speaker 2: I'm so overwell, but I'm like, but I prayed for this.

115
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,880
Speaker 2: This is exactly what I asked for. There was a

116
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,080
Speaker 2: time in my life where I felt like I didn't

117
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,440
Speaker 2: really understand my purpose. I was like confused, and know,

118
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,240
Speaker 2: am I going to be an actor? Am I not?

119
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,200
Speaker 2: I am a failed actor. I don't know I'm gonna be

120
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,400
Speaker 2: a rapper's wife, you know, I don't. I didn't. I

121
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,960
Speaker 2: was so confused and scared, honestly, And so all the

122
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,520
Speaker 2: things that we have, although there's a lot, it feels

123
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:36,840
Speaker 2: overwhelming because we have a little, tiny team. I know everything,

124
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:37,800
Speaker 2: but it's growing.

125
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,240
Speaker 1: It's growing, and tiny team is growing and we have

126
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:46,800
Speaker 1: each other and that's amazing. And I think I'm really

127
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,160
Speaker 1: excited to show the world all the things we've been

128
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,480
Speaker 1: working on I know, so like reveal it.

129
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,520
Speaker 2: I know because when people are like, bitch, what is it?

130
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,880
Speaker 2: Y'a all been talking about all these little things forever. Huh,

131
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,360
Speaker 2: don't worry. We ain't just talking. It's coming.

132
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,400
Speaker 1: It's work. And that's the most amazing part about this

133
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:07,360
Speaker 1: life is like there's always work in different areas to do.

134
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,120
Speaker 1: You know, I'm working really hard on Good Moms and

135
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,440
Speaker 1: all these projects we have, but then there's always just

136
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,080
Speaker 1: like the life work that's never ending. And then that

137
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, you know, there's just you know, I'm dating,

138
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,960
Speaker 1: I'm not dating, I'm having too much sex, I'm not

139
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 1: having enough. You know, there's just so much. There's so

140
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,360
Speaker 1: many distractions that I'm always happily involving myself in and

141
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,800
Speaker 1: then like retracting and going back and retracting, and it's

142
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:36,880
Speaker 1: like a beautiful journey but also grateful. My kid is safe.

143
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,240
Speaker 1: I just got back from Atlanta a couple weeks ago,

144
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,520
Speaker 1: and everything's GoChi. How about you.

145
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,080
Speaker 2: I'm good, I mean I have I can't lie you

146
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,000
Speaker 2: all know and be like having anxiety and.

147
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,280
Speaker 1: Shape you and everybody else.

148
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:55,720
Speaker 2: Bitch, I have been working through it. I've been waking

149
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:59,080
Speaker 2: up really early before Irie wakes up to exercise for

150
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,280
Speaker 2: at least thirty to forty five minutes, which has really

151
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,680
Speaker 2: been helping me because exercising really is such like a

152
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,200
Speaker 2: game changer for my brain. We had an episode last

153
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,600
Speaker 2: week with Devi that really like helped center me. She's

154
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,240
Speaker 2: such an incredible human and if you haven't listened to

155
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,800
Speaker 2: that episode, please please please make sure you go listen.

156
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:16,240
Speaker 1: To that episode.

157
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,160
Speaker 2: It's all about healing your inner child. We talked about

158
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,520
Speaker 2: a lot of other stuff too, So she's.

159
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 1: Also on our Patreon giving us a very dope meditation

160
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,520
Speaker 1: for the full moon. So if you're not on Patreon,

161
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:32,640
Speaker 1: be sure to check that out at goodwaitpatreon dot com,

162
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,160
Speaker 1: backslash good Mom's Bad Choices.

163
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:39,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's amazing. I myself have been on a few

164
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:44,040
Speaker 2: different trips over the last month with family and also

165
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,319
Speaker 2: a little mini trip that was supposed to be work

166
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,280
Speaker 2: but then it ended up not being worked because the

167
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,160
Speaker 2: girl I was working with ended up getting COVID and

168
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,199
Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I didn't tell you, Oh I

169
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:53,800
Speaker 2: didn't know.

170
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:55,920
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Oh yeah, I had a ring call.

171
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,679
Speaker 2: So if you guys seen me post on Instagram, I

172
00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,880
Speaker 2: did a ring collapse with Gypsy by Nature, which it's

173
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,840
Speaker 2: this amazing black owned jewelry brand by my girl a Nishka.

174
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,479
Speaker 1: She's also a fellow fellow.

175
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,120
Speaker 2: Mama Dope Dope Jewelry, and we did a collab for

176
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,480
Speaker 2: Black History Month. This face rings also the Earth Ring

177
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,079
Speaker 2: and so she lives in Miami. So I went out

178
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,720
Speaker 2: there and she ended up getting sick, and so I

179
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:18,720
Speaker 2: was like, fuck, that's why I'm here.

180
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,560
Speaker 1: You're also out there during like the ratchetest time, the

181
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,000
Speaker 1: second ratchetest time of the year, which is spring break

182
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,960
Speaker 1: in Miami. The first time the most ratchettess time in

183
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,600
Speaker 1: Miami of the year's Memorial Weekend. Everybody knows.

184
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,880
Speaker 2: I didn't know it was spring break, Okay, I had

185
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:32,400
Speaker 2: no idea.

186
00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:33,840
Speaker 1: Niggas love Miami.

187
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,760
Speaker 2: Oh it was a lot, but I but I was

188
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:36,640
Speaker 2: able to stay away from it.

189
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,199
Speaker 1: It was cool. I went on a little hinge date

190
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:38,520
Speaker 1: out there.

191
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,080
Speaker 2: I met a guy.

192
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,960
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I saw that on our close friends.

193
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,679
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, I posted it on close friends. I

194
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,560
Speaker 2: met this guy. We had dinner and he was cool,

195
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,080
Speaker 2: like he's going to be my friend. Like it's very

196
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,199
Speaker 2: it was very like we both were like, this is platonic.

197
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,640
Speaker 2: He reminds me of Kevin Hart. I don't know, why

198
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:58,319
Speaker 2: did that.

199
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,079
Speaker 1: Hurt your feelings? I feel like rejection in all forms,

200
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,160
Speaker 1: even if I don't want people.

201
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,599
Speaker 2: Because he didn't reject me. He said that, but I

202
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,160
Speaker 2: know he didn't mean it, But then I was happy

203
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,600
Speaker 2: he said it because that's how I felt.

204
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,960
Speaker 1: Okay, I know everyone love me.

205
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000
Speaker 2: I kind of know that, Like, if I wanted to

206
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,280
Speaker 2: pursue it, it could be pursued.

207
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,880
Speaker 1: But it's better that we don't.

208
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,840
Speaker 2: He's just not it's just not we're not compatible compatible

209
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,320
Speaker 2: in that way. I don't have had a realization recently.

210
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:29,280
Speaker 2: I am in a new space in dating and sex

211
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,480
Speaker 2: where I don't want to have it. I don't really

212
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,680
Speaker 2: want to have sex anymore. I'm kind of cool and sex.

213
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,800
Speaker 2: I'm actually you know, I am dating somebody right now

214
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:42,640
Speaker 2: and I haven't been He hasn't been alerted of this

215
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,320
Speaker 2: new discovery.

216
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 1: The same person.

217
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,920
Speaker 2: He hasn't been alerted yet. He'll probably be alerted today.

218
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,000
Speaker 1: We were having sex, but I'm sorry, I need to

219
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,400
Speaker 1: alert you that we're no longer. We can date, but

220
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,319
Speaker 1: we're not having sex.

221
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't have any desire to like share

222
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,640
Speaker 2: myself with anyone. And it's not that I haven't met

223
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,720
Speaker 2: and I like, it's not that I haven't met anyone

224
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 2: that's like that I would I'm sexually attracted to. And

225
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,800
Speaker 2: it's not that I don't have the like, the the

226
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 2: drive to do it. It's just like, I don't know.

227
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,080
Speaker 2: I'm kind of in a place where I am open

228
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,880
Speaker 2: to connection. I am open to love, I am open

229
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,640
Speaker 2: to partnership, but I feel like I'm often giving myself

230
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:28,480
Speaker 2: sexually before I really get to know confirm the connection fully,

231
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,040
Speaker 2: and sex be confusing shit, and I just like, you know,

232
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,720
Speaker 2: let me just try something different. I want to try

233
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,800
Speaker 2: something different. And also something in my spirit is calling

234
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,640
Speaker 2: me to do this. I don't know exactly what it is,

235
00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,320
Speaker 2: but I just I literally just don't have the desire.

236
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,640
Speaker 2: I want to spend time with people. I want to

237
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,960
Speaker 2: get to know people, but just without the suck. Yeah,

238
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,040
Speaker 2: I want to be intimate with people, but just like

239
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,440
Speaker 2: not in that way. And I think some of it too,

240
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 2: came from a conversation that I had with this person

241
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,280
Speaker 2: that I'm seeing. I was telling him, Who's asking me

242
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,240
Speaker 2: if I was seeing other people? And I said, you know,

243
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,400
Speaker 2: I'm flirting with other people, and he was like why, like,

244
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,360
Speaker 2: what does that mean you need attention? I was like,

245
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:12,080
Speaker 2: oh god, no, it's like no, I mean's something I

246
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,439
Speaker 2: need attention. I'm getting to know people like Nigga, you

247
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,520
Speaker 2: ain't my man. And also like, I just feel like

248
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,599
Speaker 2: flirting this I was trying to I was trying to

249
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,000
Speaker 2: explain to him that flirting to me is not always sexual.

250
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,920
Speaker 2: Like flirting to there's an intimacy in like sharing conversation,

251
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,400
Speaker 2: when sharing conversation with someone that maybe shares the same

252
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,360
Speaker 2: views that you have about love, life, family, and there's

253
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,400
Speaker 2: an intimacy in that, and it's not related to sex.

254
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,640
Speaker 2: And he just could not understand that.

255
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,079
Speaker 1: And then I was.

256
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,640
Speaker 2: Like, you know, I need to explore this, this intimacy

257
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 2: that that I'm talking to him about more because I

258
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,000
Speaker 2: just feel like it's something that I do with people

259
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:56,240
Speaker 2: simultaneously with sex, but I've never just done it without it,

260
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,800
Speaker 2: and like I just want to know. I feel like

261
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,480
Speaker 2: I will have I feel like it will make sex

262
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,920
Speaker 2: that much better. It will for me, it will like

263
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,080
Speaker 2: when I really feel like I okay, I really fuck

264
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,880
Speaker 2: with you and sex has nothing to do with it.

265
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,000
Speaker 2: Like I know, I'm good at sex, I know.

266
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,360
Speaker 1: Like, let's take it back to Daphne. Okay, I know

267
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,440
Speaker 1: this pussy is good, right, I don't have anything to

268
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,360
Speaker 1: prove to anyone, And that's.

269
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,959
Speaker 2: Where I'm feeling, like I have I know it. I

270
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:26,680
Speaker 2: know I'm good, like the men's have told me. I'm

271
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,160
Speaker 2: happy with my sex, my sex, Like I know that,

272
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,319
Speaker 2: like once I share that with someone, it's undeniably gonna

273
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 2: be great. So why so there's no need for me

274
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,520
Speaker 2: to do that, you know, like, let's make sure that

275
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:43,880
Speaker 2: like the intimacy and like the connection is there first.

276
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,679
Speaker 2: So that's kind of like where I'm at right now.

277
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 2: If anybody else wants to join me on the I

278
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,160
Speaker 2: feel like I'm going to.

279
00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm coming a little bit slowly, more

280
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,160
Speaker 1: behind you, but I'm coming. I feel like it's currectly.

281
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:55,600
Speaker 2: I had.

282
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,920
Speaker 1: I feel similarly, and I don't know if we just

283
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:07,320
Speaker 1: live fucking lives, but I have been deeply examining my

284
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:13,680
Speaker 1: addiction to attention and to love and like, like I

285
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,920
Speaker 1: went on a date. It's tender day. I said, I

286
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,840
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna tell anyone, but here we are. I wanted

287
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 1: a tender day and maybe I've told already, like a

288
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,640
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago or a few weeks ago, and like,

289
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 1: I had sex with this person, and I I just

290
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,560
Speaker 1: told myself before I did it, I wasn't going to

291
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,240
Speaker 1: do it. In the midst of the conversation, I was like,

292
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm bored. I was like, I'm gonna finish this wine

293
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,640
Speaker 1: and I'm a dip. And then I did a dip

294
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:41,960
Speaker 1: and then I had sex, and I was like, what

295
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Speaker 1: the fuck is wrong with me? And here I am

296
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,840
Speaker 1: I have problems. So I just feel like that's something

297
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,080
Speaker 1: I really need to I've had this conversation with myself

298
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,200
Speaker 1: more than once. As if you've listened to this before

299
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 1: you may know, but it's just something that I have

300
00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:01,160
Speaker 1: to really dig deeper into. Also, speaking of like intimacy

301
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,360
Speaker 1: on different levels. I have been talking on the phone

302
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,960
Speaker 1: with this guy for like five months, literally for five

303
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,560
Speaker 1: months and increasingly more over like the last few months,

304
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 1: and having really good conversations, really intellectual, deep conversations about perspectives,

305
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,360
Speaker 1: about just things we don't really see a lot of

306
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,720
Speaker 1: things I die, but the conversation has been really arousing

307
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,360
Speaker 1: and really intriguing. And then finally, in like the last

308
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:29,280
Speaker 1: two weeks we've met, and the first like three days

309
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 1: he just like didn't touch me or try or like anything.

310
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, what the fuck We've been talking

311
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:40,120
Speaker 1: about for five months? And then like eventually whatever should happen.

312
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:46,240
Speaker 1: But I was like, damn, he is very disciplined and

313
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm not, and like he's very selective, and he makes

314
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,360
Speaker 1: that very clear that he's selective about who he shares

315
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,400
Speaker 1: himself with, and so I'm like, damn, I need to

316
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 1: adopt that, you know, And not that I'm not selective,

317
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,240
Speaker 1: I am, but like not, I haven't been. There's obviously

318
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,160
Speaker 1: been times I haven't been enough, in my opinion, and

319
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 1: it's just like you said, like I know, my pussy's good.

320
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 1: I know. And even in that date, I went on

321
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 1: and I didn't really even like this person, and I

322
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,800
Speaker 1: declared that early on I still did it. I was thinking, like,

323
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,200
Speaker 1: I'm so cool and you won't even shut the fuck

324
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,440
Speaker 1: up to hear to listen, and I was like, is

325
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,920
Speaker 1: it because I talk a lot and I have a podcast.

326
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 1: I'm just used to fucking talking. But I'm like, no,

327
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 1: he wasn't listening. He didn't even try to get to

328
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,560
Speaker 1: know me. But anyway, I just feel like I'm a

329
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,400
Speaker 1: hypersexual person and I'm aware of that, and I just

330
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,680
Speaker 1: have to kind of dive deeper into dissecting why and

331
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,160
Speaker 1: if it's healthy, and who who I'm sharing space and

332
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,520
Speaker 1: time and body with and if it's necessary. So, yeah,

333
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,240
Speaker 1: give me about like what Martha April. Yeah, probably swing

334
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 1: around May. I'll be in the same boat.

335
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,840
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm inviting anyone who's listening to join me

336
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,720
Speaker 2: on this journey. You can start today, DM me whatever.

337
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,720
Speaker 1: I don't really, but it's a Dicktalks. We're drinking another

338
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:55,640
Speaker 1: digtalk ticktogs. It's our second It's not her annual because

339
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 1: we didn't do it last year because we had boyfriends.

340
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:04,560
Speaker 1: It's our second by annual, So second by annual dick tucks.

341
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,080
Speaker 2: And what do we say? Was it supposed to be

342
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 2: ninety days?

343
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 1: It's supposed to be ninety days. I'm not starting right now, so.

344
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,400
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not putting a number on it because

345
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 2: I feel like that like just sets people up for

346
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,040
Speaker 2: fucking disaster. It puts too much expectation and disappointment in it.

347
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,919
Speaker 2: I'm just going with how I feel. I have this

348
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,640
Speaker 2: feeling that it's going to last for a while.

349
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 1: Ever. The last time lasted me like six months, and

350
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,240
Speaker 1: I tried only to do ninety days. I think you

351
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,120
Speaker 1: get really comfortable and it once you commit to it.

352
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like it's funny because I actually like I

353
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,240
Speaker 2: am seeing someone, but I've also been talking to someone

354
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 2: else and he is so fine, so fine, and I

355
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,960
Speaker 2: don't really do super fine okay, And that's a whole

356
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 2: other thing that like I've had to unpack too, because

357
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 2: I've kind of avoided very fine men in my life

358
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,640
Speaker 2: because a problematic because if you, if I think you're fine,

359
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 2: so does everybody else. And I don't want to deal

360
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,879
Speaker 2: with that. But I've realized that hasn't protected.

361
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:58,400
Speaker 1: Me from shit niggas. Shea too, What does your dad say?

362
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:02,399
Speaker 1: The trash man cheats everybody in cheats fine niggas, ugly niggas,

363
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,680
Speaker 1: broke niggas, rich niggas.

364
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 2: And so I've kind of like judged fine men too

365
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 2: and thought like, oh, they're kind of dumb. But I'm like, well, shit,

366
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:09,479
Speaker 2: I'm fine, Shit, I'm smart.

367
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 1: They're kind of dumb, It's true, the kind of dumb.

368
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,280
Speaker 2: They're not, though, and he's not, and like he's really

369
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:21,000
Speaker 2: smart and he's really beautiful, like wow, gorgeously esthetically gorgeous.

370
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 2: And I like this has been a practice for me too,

371
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:29,879
Speaker 2: like of not having sex because like everything in me

372
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 2: in the past would have very much, so very easily,

373
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 2: and so and he's been so cool and respectful and

374
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 2: like we're just getting to know each other, you know,

375
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 2: and so. But I don't know how long it's gonna last.

376
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,280
Speaker 2: We don't see. But yeah, I just want I just

377
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:50,640
Speaker 2: I just want my mind to be clear. And yeah,

378
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,359
Speaker 2: Dick be clouding the brain. It's true.

379
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,879
Speaker 1: Even saying this out loud, even think, okay, you I

380
00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:01,400
Speaker 1: would get like sick of like telling my my deepest

381
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,160
Speaker 1: intimate secrets out loud. But I clearly I don't.

382
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 2: Have you guys listened to our episode with Linda Garcia,

383
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 2: because if you haven't, then you're missing out. But if

384
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:16,960
Speaker 2: you have, then you know she is the ultimate guide

385
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:21,399
Speaker 2: to investing in stock market, changing your relationship with wealth.

386
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 2: And guess what, y'all, She is doing a course and

387
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 2: has given us four scholarships to give to some lucky listeners.

388
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,359
Speaker 1: That's right, for lucky listeners will get a scholarship to

389
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,640
Speaker 1: attend her course on April first and the second. It's

390
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: nine am to one pm for two days, so we

391
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 1: need four people to get this course.

392
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,720
Speaker 2: This course is for anyone who's ready to begin the

393
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,680
Speaker 2: journey of understanding money, specifically through the stock market. You

394
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 2: will go through a deep dive that will give you

395
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 2: the confidence you need to get started right away.

396
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 1: That's right, you don't have to wait any longer. After

397
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 1: this two day course, you will be ready to get

398
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 1: started right away. You'll obtain some of Linda's top resources

399
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,879
Speaker 1: for keeping up with the stock market and a step

400
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 1: by step guide, and you will receive a copy of

401
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: the deck as well as a thirty day access to

402
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: the recordings for you to review as many times as

403
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 1: you need after course completion. This is a three hundred

404
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: and eight dollars value.

405
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 3: Guys.

406
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 1: You guys are getting it for free.

407
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 2: But you got to follow the rules of the scholarship

408
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 2: to enter to win.

409
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 1: So we're gonna leave.

410
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,199
Speaker 2: So we're gonna leave those details in the episode of

411
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 2: this description and we get money.

412
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,200
Speaker 1: But I feel like like it'suck a fucking teenager having

413
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 1: this conversation, Like I'm gonna stop having stupid sex, but

414
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 1: I will next month. I know that I don't need

415
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 1: to have sex, but I will three weeks because I

416
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:50,120
Speaker 1: love love and I love attention. With May four, I'll

417
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 1: stop giving my pissy TV.

418
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 2: Maybe five five it's a good.

419
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: Number the day.

420
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: No, I I'm a little embarras, don't be embarrassed and

421
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 2: don't And like, you know, do you think men?

422
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 1: Do you think men experience this? Like, no, I should

423
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: be more intentional with my dick.

424
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 2: I don't think men go on dick taxes.

425
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,400
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. When I was talking to my.

426
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 2: On pussy toxes? Do you ever going to pussy talks?

427
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 1: They don't? Do you want to hate this joint? Also,

428
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: like do men go on pussy txes? They probably don't. Also,

429
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 1: my new friend that I've been talking to, he was

430
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: just saying like he used to be super super sexual,

431
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: and then he just was cool and he's like I'll

432
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 1: see a fine ass girl and I'll just be like cool.

433
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 1: And something about him telling me that was turning me

434
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,879
Speaker 1: on because I'm like so selective you like me?

435
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 2: Oh god, please don't say that word. You know, the

436
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,480
Speaker 2: selective triggers.

437
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 1: But it made me think about myself, like there is

438
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: a time where my my fangs would come out just

439
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 1: some fine niggas, and I would have like, I'm a

440
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: nigga inside, I'm a nigga. I've said this so many times.

441
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 1: I'm very mannish. There have been times in my twenties

442
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,280
Speaker 1: where I'm just like, oh, he's fine target, you know what,

443
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 1: Like it is like zone in, like a little psycho bitch.

444
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,639
Speaker 1: But it's just like as you get older, it's like

445
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: they're gonna be fine niggas all the time. And there's

446
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: gonna be people that intrigue your mind and intrigue you know,

447
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: there's there's I'm a deeply intrigued person. I love people,

448
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: so I have to chill. You know, everyone, I'm going

449
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: to find people attractive because that's the type of person

450
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 1: I am. I love people. I think people are beautiful mostly,

451
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 1: But like, also, does that mean I have to sleep

452
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 1: with everyone? To what capacity? Are you going to be intimate?

453
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 1: You know, it could be energetically intimate. You know, we

454
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 1: can moan heavy and like deep breathe and hug or

455
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 1: we can actually be intimate. But is it necessary? And

456
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: oh and he's also a deep reader, so he was

457
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: making me read oh uh, Napoleon Hill and he was

458
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 1: talking about sexual transcendence and I was reading about it,

459
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 1: and it was just like pulling me in.

460
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 2: It's like, while you're having sex, you transcend something.

461
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like just exchanging energy with another person and

462
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: what that means, and like that energy exchange and it's

463
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: just it had it should be intentional, and it was

464
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 1: making me at first feel deep shame and like, oh no,

465
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: how much which energy do I have inside of me?

466
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

467
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 1: But also we're growing, and we also we always have

468
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,879
Speaker 1: the opportunity to evolve and make different change choices and

469
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: change and then be like, oh, how does this work

470
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 1: for me? You know, I don't think we.

471
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 2: Go through seasons, and I don't think it's bad to

472
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 2: have sex often with however many people you want. I

473
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 2: just feel like, because I truly feel that way, like

474
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 2: I'm not doing this because I want to because I

475
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 2: think I'm better than anyone else. That isn't you know.

476
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,640
Speaker 2: It's really just like.

477
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: What you need in what season?

478
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like I feel like there's like a spring

479
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 2: cleaning that's happening right now. And I've been having a

480
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,639
Speaker 2: lot of conversations with men and it's more in the

481
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: conversations have been really enlightening, Like I had one the

482
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 2: other day with the guy in Miami actually, and he

483
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 2: was showing he was telling me that he was showing

484
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 2: me this girl on Instagram. Actually, no, it didn't even

485
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 2: start with him. This conversation has kind of hopped around

486
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 2: to different men in my life and I'm getting the

487
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,879
Speaker 2: same answer from most of them. And the first person

488
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: that is that guy that I said is really fine

489
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 2: he was. I was telling him that, like, I typically

490
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 2: don't really do like beautiful men like you, like you

491
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 2: are fucking like model fine, you know. And he was like, yeah, well,

492
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 2: men feel the same way about fine women. And I

493
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 2: was like what. I was like, it's not the goal.

494
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 2: Don't men always want fine women? And he was like,

495
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 2: we do, but we don't want to always wife them

496
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,439
Speaker 2: because we always feel like, well, it's just too much,

497
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 2: like it's a lot, like there's probably niggas in her

498
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,480
Speaker 2: dms or I'm gonna have to like like get all

499
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 2: these niggas away from her. Let me find like she's

500
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 2: just fine.

501
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 1: Enough, quiet enough covered it.

502
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like really okay, And so then

503
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 2: I and then then I went to Miami and I

504
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:45,320
Speaker 2: met this gentleman and he was telling me that, like

505
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 2: I was asking what kind of women he likes, and

506
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,720
Speaker 2: he was showing me after we decided we're gonna beople

507
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 2: toonic friends, he showed me like this, this beautiful girl

508
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 2: that he that likes him. He's like, this girl she

509
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 2: like is like love with me. She's all but my dick,

510
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 2: But like, I can't bring her to the fucking he's

511
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: a lawyer. He's like, I can't bring her to like

512
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 2: my lawyer convention or like my fancy lawyer dinners. Like

513
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 2: it's too much like all this ass, all these titties like.

514
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: And I was like, what, Sun, I'm brand for his

515
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 1: lawyer lifestyle. I was like, so, let me get this straight.

516
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 2: So niggas want everything, but then they don't want you

517
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 2: at all. Like I'm confused because.

518
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they'd be scared.

519
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, I'm fine as hell. So is

520
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: that why I don't have a man.

521
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: Me an equation? Me too? I was like, yeah, I'm

522
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: like fine.

523
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is making me think of did

524
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 2: I ever tell you how I saw my aunts.

525
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm like Sally Jesse.

526
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 2: Rash, I am, oh my god, what god, sisters who

527
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 2: are like crazy? And I remember when I was a kid,

528
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 2: I saw them. I saw them on Sally. They're very tall,

529
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 2: They're like six to two, and they're like they're athletic women,

530
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 2: you know. They're like, men just don't want me because

531
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: I'm too beautiful and I'm tall. And I'm like, is

532
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: this me?

533
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 3: Now?

534
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 2: Is this what happens in your thirties? But I do

535
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 2: feel like I'm confident in my in who I am.

536
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,280
Speaker 2: And I don't mean fine just an esthetically. I mean

537
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 2: like I know that I'm a good woman, and but

538
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 2: I also aesthetically I feel like I'm good looking. So

539
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 2: I just feel like, is that like? Because based on

540
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 2: what they're saying to me, I just found it was

541
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 2: so interesting that perspective because for me as a woman,

542
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,640
Speaker 2: I always feel like men are they are they're they're

543
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: looking for certain qualities. But there's men are very triggered

544
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 2: by are they there's at least sexually by the way

545
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,359
Speaker 2: a woman looks. Absolutely, But I guess that does not

546
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 2: necessarily translate to even if you look good, Because I asked.

547
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: Him, I'm like, so is she a good woman?

548
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 2: Does she have a good job?

549
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, she's.

550
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 2: Great, but it's too much for him, And I was like,

551
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: what I was so confused. I'm like, so she's giving

552
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:56,439
Speaker 2: you everything that you asked for, but it's it's a

553
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 2: little too much.

554
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: I recognize that. I feel like this the first time

555
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 1: in my life that I've been able. I'm starting to

556
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: be able to be like, damn, I'm the shit right

557
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 1: and say it without feeling like we'd bad about it,

558
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 1: you know, weird. And the more I'm in front of men,

559
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,159
Speaker 1: like you know, dating or whatever I'm doing, like I

560
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: want that stupid ass tender day and he was boasting

561
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: about himself and it was like mediocre and I was

562
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 1: just like, if he would shut the fuck up, you

563
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 1: would know you're sitting amongst royalty. But that's how I

564
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 1: was feeling. But like, I don't know who we're just

565
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: talking to. Was a DeBie that I'm realizing I do

566
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 1: the choosing. M I do the choosing, you know, Like

567
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: what I'm realizing this is gonna sound. I don't know.

568
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: I don't care. Everyone I choose is gonna choose me

569
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: pretty much. I like that's how I feel like.

570
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 2: I don't feel that way.

571
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: I feel like the I.

572
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 2: Don't feel that way. I haven't been shown that well.

573
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 1: Like I just I feel like it's it's easy.

574
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 2: For me to for people to fall in love with

575
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 2: Fuck me and choose me are two different things. So

576
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 2: what do you mean?

577
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: Do you mean like have sex with you? I feel

578
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 1: like if I wanted to be wiped by most of

579
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: the men that I've dated, I could have that option,

580
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 1: but I don't usually feel as compelled. And it's not

581
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: that I just don't feel like it's compelled, but I

582
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,399
Speaker 1: feel like if I wanted to have relationships and like

583
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 1: be chosen by certain like people I've dated in my past,

584
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 1: that could be I would be able to you know

585
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 1: what I mean?

586
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,120
Speaker 2: Like, I just.

587
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing the choosing and I feel

588
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 1: like I'm waiting for someone who's going to come into

589
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 1: my realm that I'm like, Oh, it's all the niggas

590
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,680
Speaker 1: that I've been wanting added up and went, all the

591
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: perfect mixtures, all the measurements, you know what I mean.

592
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 1: Not that I'm like the bomb and I'm the best

593
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: shit ever, but I'm coming into my power. I'm stepping

594
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 1: into my power and I feel that, and I feel

595
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: that even in dating. I feel that in my personal space.

596
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 1: I feel like if I just I feel it, you

597
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I feel that as much people

598
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: are gravitating towards me more heavily, that I have the

599
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: power to choose and like it's kind of scary.

600
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 2: It is it is. I feel that I feel that

601
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 2: way mostly, but I.

602
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: Feel like not all the time.

603
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: I definitely feel like there have been definite times where

604
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: I've not been chosen and like my feelings were hurt

605
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 2: and I was like shocked, like what, like what do

606
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 2: you mean? Like what else do you need from me?

607
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 1: But absolutely I feel like I've had times where I

608
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: haven't been chosen. But you can and I know you

609
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: can identify with this. Had those times been taking place

610
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: right now, would you have taken it as personally? No?

611
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: Like now, no, no, And that's what I'm saying. There's

612
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: growth happening right now.

613
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: That's that's how I feel right now. There's times where

614
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: i'd be I would feel rejected and take it deeply personally,

615
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: but I'm so in tune with how cool I am

616
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: and how dope of a person, and like I don't

617
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: really feel I don't even the things that are quote

618
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: unquote rejections, I don't feel that way. I feel like

619
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 1: it's just like the journey.

620
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 2: Right, I mean even me saying that I don't want

621
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: to have sex is essentially me doing the choosing because

622
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 2: because I have se because I'm doing the choosing, like

623
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 2: I'm choosing who I share space with. Intimately, I have

624
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 2: a serious boundary here, you know, there's a real boundary,

625
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 2: and it's with love. It's not like fuck you, it's

626
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 2: just more so like what I don't want to Let's

627
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 2: just do this for now, Let's see this. Let's see

628
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 2: if you how how interested you actually are in me?

629
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: If I don't if we don't have sex, be friends first.

630
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 2: I mean even in our relationship with my baby daddy,

631
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 2: Like our relationship may not have been perfect, but it

632
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: lasted for a long time. I think because we were

633
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 2: friends first. You know, there was a we had a

634
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 2: long period of time where we it was like a

635
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 2: honeymoon period for years, Like there were no arguments. It

636
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 2: was beautiful. Whether or not we're meant to be together

637
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: now is something different. But the friendship, though, is what

638
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 2: held that for sure, And I feel like I haven't

639
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: really done that and like again, and I want to

640
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 2: do that again. I know that that's I know for sure,

641
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 2: that's something I want to take from that relationship into

642
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: my next because even thinking about the real relationship that

643
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 2: I got in COVID, like that was so quick, there

644
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 2: was no friendship involved. And then it was just like

645
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 2: we're getting to know each other while while having sex,

646
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: while it's like loving each other while integrating children, while

647
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 2: integrating friends, Like that's a lot of that's a lot,

648
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: like let's just take it one day at a time.

649
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: I think the most beautiful thing about friendship based first too,

650
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: I'm noticing is that it comes with this, Uh, it's

651
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 1: easy to be radically honest when you start in a

652
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: friend's space because I'm not trying to prove shit to you.

653
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: What did I do last week? Some crazy shit?

654
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 3: Why?

655
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 1: That's it too.

656
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 2: It's the like I think, I'm like, I need you

657
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 2: to know exactly who I am.

658
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: I want you to know. Wait, I want you to

659
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: know who exactly who I am. But it's easier to

660
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: present myself exactly who I am without first having the

661
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: expectation that I want you to keep me forever. Right,

662
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: Because when we begin to want to be kept forever

663
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 1: and want a relationship and want someone to love us,

664
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 1: you start to feel this deep longing for them to

665
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 1: accept you, and then you start to even self reflect

666
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: about this the person that you are and the things

667
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: that you do and whether they're acceptable, especially for women

668
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: as a wife or as a girlfriend, because you know,

669
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: like how much just like sometimes I'll meet when I

670
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, like my podcast is cool, and

671
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: then I want to date them. I'm like, please, don't listen.

672
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: Whatever you do, don't listen, you.

673
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.

674
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: And then even in this, like these these newer relationships,

675
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: I'm deeply examining how I feel about myself versus how

676
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 1: how I will perceive myself when someone else sees me,

677
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Because there are two different things.

678
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel empowered and cool about what I do,

679
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,640
Speaker 1: and then sometimes I'm like, oh, no, I've said way

680
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: too much and I'm never gonna be married, you know.

681
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 2: What I mean.

682
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 1: And it's just like how we see ourselves versus how

683
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: we see ourselves through someone else's perspective is like those

684
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,000
Speaker 1: things really need to be like blurred out and cleared

685
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: out and cleansed, because as long as you're expecting someone

686
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: to love you and you don't really love and accept yourself,

687
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: it's gonna be fucked up. Even like me doing that

688
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: tender shit and like feeling really bad about it. And

689
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: then I was kind of like not beating myself up

690
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: about it, but like disappointed, and it's okay to be disappointed.

691
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: But also I'm like, Okay, you've done You've done more

692
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: shit in your past like this one fuck up, this

693
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: one unnecessary person, Like Okay, it's okay. Keep it doesn't

694
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 1: mean you haven't grown. And that's the thing. It's like, Fuck,

695
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 1: I thought I've done the work. I thought i've grown.

696
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 1: I thought I'm better than this, And it's like that

697
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you haven't done the work. It means you've

698
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: you've been doing fuck dumb shit for your whole life

699
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: and you'll slip up, you know what I mean.

700
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 2: But just like it's like that loving yourself like you

701
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: would your child that we were talking about last week

702
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 2: about like you know, if your child fucked up like

703
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 2: you you letting you, letting them know that they did it,

704
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 2: but also knowing like you're it's okay, like because kids

705
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 2: will be like no world, and that's how we are.

706
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 2: We're not outwardly like crying like that necessarily, but inside

707
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: we're almost abusing ourselves even more. At least kids get

708
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 2: it out, you know, cry about it in a dramatic way.

709
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 2: We're all internalizing shit and then beating ourselves up about

710
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 2: it and not saying it's okay, it's okay, Yeah you

711
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 2: fucked up, but like.

712
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: It's okay, there's you can just you did.

713
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 2: You're you're learning. You're still in the learning, and like

714
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 2: even when you get past the learning, which I don't

715
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 2: that doesn't really ever happen, you still might fuck up sometimes,

716
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 2: so don't I mean, I know, I mean, it's it's

717
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: the best part about it all.

718
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: Is that you are aware of it and acknowledging it

719
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: and being able to be transparent in front of someone else,

720
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: like yeah, I've done this and that, and like you

721
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 1: can't make me feel bad about myself, you know what

722
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: I mean. I told this guy that because he has

723
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 1: like very interesting like expectations of women, and like it's

724
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 1: something we discussed. But uh, I said, this is the thing.

725
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: I said. What I don't want is that for us

726
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: to feel like we love each other right now we

727
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: like each other, but then later down the line, I

728
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 1: love you and something comes out about me or you

729
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 1: learn some information about me, and then oooh.

730
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 2: Girl, that's literally the same shit, and I'm not going

731
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 2: to live on eggshells, and then.

732
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: I'm like fighting for your validation and then and a

733
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:12,240
Speaker 1: questioning who I am from past decision proving my value.

734
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel that way. I don't even

735
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: want to put myself in the position to feel that

736
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 1: way in the future. So I don't want to even

737
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: like I can say I love you and feel all

738
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: the fields, but like, let's not try and plan what

739
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: this is because your expectation of me may not be realistic.

740
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,359
Speaker 1: And I don't even want to try to fit into

741
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: this box of like expectation that's not realistic for me

742
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: in my process because it's just going to make me

743
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 1: be mean to myself and feel sad and feel bad

744
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,799
Speaker 1: and I'm the shit right now. I don't even need

745
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 1: that type of energy. And even if it's direct or

746
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: in like directly or indirectly, I want to be aligned

747
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: with myself. And being aligned with myself includes everybody else

748
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 1: that I love and is in my space also being

749
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 1: aligned with whoever that person is, and I'm able to

750
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 1: show who that person is in that moment because it

751
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 1: is for ever changing amen. This week's Dating with Erica

752
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,760
Speaker 1: and Mila breaking news.

753
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 2: Eric is not having sex. Jamila's thinking about it.

754
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: They're still figuring it out. Oh my god, should we

755
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 1: read an advice question?

756
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 2: What do you think? Which one?

757
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: Because you know we have some.

758
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 2: Well, there's there's a deep one. There's one that's very

759
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 2: close to my heart. Actually, there's the one where they

760
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 2: use the V word. So which one are we going with?

761
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:40,279
Speaker 2: B word V? Vagina victim? Oh that's not that's not

762
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: the one. Okay, Yeah, we're gonna get to that one.

763
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: Maybe that after this one. Okay, Okay, Hi ladies, My

764
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 2: boyfriend slash baby daddy cheated and the girl is pregnant.

765
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 1: They both want me to be a woman.

766
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 2: About the situation, my heart says stay, but my mind

767
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 2: says they.

768
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: Both want me to be a woman.

769
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 2: Why the fuck is especially a factor in what wants

770
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 2: need to be happy?

771
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: Don't ever tell me what I need to be doing.

772
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: You needed to keep your relation, my relationship, out of

773
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: your legs.

774
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 2: But now we're here, right, They both want me to

775
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 2: be a woman. About the situation, My heart says stay,

776
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: but my mind says leave. I just had a baby

777
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,399
Speaker 2: with him, and she knew we were together. I don't

778
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 2: know what to do.

779
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,240
Speaker 1: Wait, is some someone that says that she had twins,

780
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: she's pregnant with twins.

781
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, so she's having twins and she's four to five

782
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: months pregnant.

783
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:41,120
Speaker 1: How much can you handle?

784
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: Babe?

785
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: Can you handle that? I mean, I if you love

786
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: someone in your heart is saying stay, Who the fuck

787
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,280
Speaker 1: am I to tell you? Otherwise? People fuck up, People

788
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: make mistakes. Now, a bitch like me, I'm highly sensitive

789
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 1: and highly reactive, and I don't know if I would,

790
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 1: you know, in my knowing myself put myself in the

791
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: position to be tortured for the rest of my life.

792
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: It's a hard decision to make it. Only you can

793
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:16,319
Speaker 1: make it. Leave him. Run run, bitch, Run as fast

794
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 1: as you can.

795
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: I okay, I'm kidding.

796
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 1: How old are you?

797
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't I'm I'm kidding, But I'm not

798
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 2: kidding only because I've been through this situation personally, And

799
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 2: it's when you have a child with someone and that person,

800
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 2: especially you just had a baby and that person, and

801
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 2: that's a sacred like bond that you share with that person,

802
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:42,320
Speaker 2: especially if it's the first one between you or that person.

803
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 1: The most sacred covenant you will ever make with the

804
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: ot to.

805
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 2: Have to share that space twice because the bitch is

806
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 2: having twins within like within with close proximity. That's a

807
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 2: lot on my heart for you to for me to

808
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 2: have to be and look at you every day and.

809
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 1: Able to trust you and be strong through and.

810
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 2: And be nice and being a new mom is hard

811
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:12,839
Speaker 2: enough to have to also be healing and from that.

812
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's it's like I personally could not

813
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 2: do that. I didn't do it, And honestly that's why

814
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 2: we started Good Mom's Bad Choices, not why, but it's

815
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 2: spawned this because I wouldn't be here had I not

816
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,479
Speaker 2: had the strength to be like, you know what, I'm

817
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 2: not tolerating that. I'm not doing that with you, even

818
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 2: though like I love, I love that person and I

819
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 2: still love him, I will always love him. He shares

820
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 2: we share human we share a bond forever and ever

821
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:47,920
Speaker 2: and ever. But I just don't think that that. I

822
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: feel like there's something better for you out there. I

823
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 2: feel like when you experience extreme betrayal and pain and hurt,

824
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 2: it's for a reason, and a lot of that reason

825
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 2: isn't to stay in it. It's not to stay and

826
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: fight through it, like like we were saying, like a

827
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 2: lot of women, we measure our value on how much

828
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 2: we can tolerate.

829
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: And that's not how you measure your value.

830
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,800
Speaker 2: And that is not how you should measure your value.

831
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 2: You are not any less strong because you decided to

832
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,400
Speaker 2: choose yourself, and I'm gonna.

833
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: In fact, you're stronger for choosing yourself.

834
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,919
Speaker 2: And let me tell you, it's not an easy road.

835
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 2: I know it's not. I know that like deciding to

836
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 2: leave you, to separate your family, and maybe I don't

837
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 2: know what your job situation is. I don't know if

838
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:36,439
Speaker 2: he takes care of you, I don't know. But it's

839
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 2: not an easy it's not an easy choice. But I

840
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,360
Speaker 2: promise you you'll be okay if that's your If that

841
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,359
Speaker 2: is is that, that's what your heart is telling you,

842
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 2: and you're listening to this and you feel like, damn,

843
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 2: I feel this. I feel like she's right in this moment. Like,

844
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:59,319
Speaker 2: I promise you you'll be okay. I promise, But I

845
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 2: also promise said you know, we're really good at handling

846
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 2: trauma as women, So you might be okay ish if

847
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 2: you stay.

848
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,080
Speaker 1: But will it be easy? Absolutely not, And will you

849
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,919
Speaker 1: be wondering damn? Was there maybe something better or someone else, or.

850
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 2: And you will be in pro close proximity not only

851
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 2: to your partner that's betrayed you, but to this woman.

852
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: Because you're going to be in close proximity to your

853
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: partner who's dealing with this woman.

854
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 1: This, this scab will be very difficult to heal because

855
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: they will be constant contact, contact and content with both

856
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: opportunities for the womb to reopen.

857
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 2: You're always gonna have to know what's kind of going on, Like,

858
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 2: there comes a point where I don't want to know,

859
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: get me away from that shit.

860
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, you know, And she already doesn't

861
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 1: seem like she's in a healthy space. Yeah, to recommend

862
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: that you be an adult.

863
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 2: About her, Yeah, be an adult, bitch. You know what

864
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 2: that she tried to do that to me too. And

865
00:41:56,160 --> 00:42:04,760
Speaker 2: let me tell you the audacity, the audacity of certain women, men, whatever,

866
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 2: people in general who have basically just disrespected you and

867
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 2: your whole family to tell.

868
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: You that you should react, that you need to.

869
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 2: That you need to settle down, shut the fuck up.

870
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,280
Speaker 2: That's you do, you will get your ass beat. Sorry,

871
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 2: you can tell I'm still I'm still not healed all

872
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 2: the way from that, and she said I want to

873
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:26,919
Speaker 2: beat her ass.

874
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: That's what she wrote in the message.

875
00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 2: So I feel that. Uh, but yeah, I'm going to

876
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 2: encourage you to do you boo anyway, any other advice.

877
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 1: Questions, Yeah, someone was just giving us advice speaking of audacities.

878
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,479
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm already hyped. Now now I'm hyped.

879
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 2: You know I'm triggered.

880
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: Speaking of audacity. Huh. You guys, we get a lot

881
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 1: of emails which slip through our hands and eyes because

882
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: we need an assistant. Does anyone want to be our

883
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: virtual assistant? Please email production at Good Momsbad Choices dot com. Anyway,

884
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: we get a lot of emails. Very rarely do we

885
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: get these kind though, because I feel like everybody kind

886
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: of mostly gets us. And it's okay if you don't.

887
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: But we're here to clarify. Okay, I know this show

888
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: is a lot of things. I know we talk about

889
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 1: a lot of things. We cover a lot of areas

890
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 1: where parents were, moms were women, we're black, We're talking

891
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: about sex and love and dating and witchy shit. But

892
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:49,760
Speaker 1: we talked about whatever the fuck we want. But most importantly,

893
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 1: I want you guys to know we're talking about our

894
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:57,879
Speaker 1: personal experiences because this show, this brand, this shit is real.

895
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: This is very personal to us. This is our life.

896
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: It's a percentage, it's not all of it, but this

897
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 1: is our life. And so this is a personal labor

898
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: of love on some real shit. Laborer tears of love,

899
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 1: of a lot of things, of experiences, of stories. But

900
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: we rarely get advice for they giving us advice on

901
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: how we should we could better market to our audience.

902
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: But we got this recently and Erica was not happy

903
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: this day.

904
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't respond. Have we responded?

905
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:30,240
Speaker 1: This is a response.

906
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 2: Okay, here we go.

907
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 1: Are you ready?

908
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,720
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I look he kind of forgot.

909
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: It's kind of but I know I was pissed.

910
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: It's kind of cute, It's kind of it was kind

911
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 1: of also hilarious, and it's also just like, let me

912
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 1: just let me sit you down for one moment, please, ma'am.

913
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,719
Speaker 2: I know she was said in love, but also.

914
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 1: So I'm going to say back in love. Okay, Hi, ladies.

915
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 1: I love your podcast, all of it, the sexual topics,

916
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: the spiritual topics, money march, and just the fact that

917
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 1: you're being brave and doing it. I've always lacked the courage. However,

918
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: I am not a quote person of color. Peach Caucasian.

919
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 2: You get that.

920
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Peach Caucasian, that's her, Shae, you get the point right.

921
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 1: And I do think that you are victimizing yourself by

922
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 1: harping on statements such as we people of color end quote.

923
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: I do not think that you grew up in the

924
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: way you did because you are girls of color. I'm

925
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:36,359
Speaker 1: a woman. There are many more people who grew up

926
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 1: that way. I think I can relate to you on

927
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: many aspects mentioned above, in addition to being an immigrant,

928
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,880
Speaker 1: growing up on social aid, not learning how to handle

929
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 1: money as a teen, and not being allowed to ask

930
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: questions because this is not what Catholic people do. I

931
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,360
Speaker 1: think if you allowed yourselves to move past that point,

932
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: you would reach a larger audience and attract many more listeners.

933
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 1: I hope you find this helpful.

934
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 2: You rock.

935
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 1: Ps. My husband is the person of color, I have

936
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 1: an eleven month old baby and live in Socaw.

937
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, well, I'm retriggered, but I'm actually I feel

938
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 3: better about it. Listen, miss Peach, and I'm only calling

939
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:30,239
Speaker 3: you that because you said it.

940
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:34,359
Speaker 2: Where do I begin?

941
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 1: Please don't ever address any black people and use the

942
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: word victimize yourselves. That's not going to go.

943
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 2: If you have a story to share and you feel

944
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,919
Speaker 2: as if that you and you've had everyone is going

945
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:52,439
Speaker 2: through shit. I think that that the podcast is never

946
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:56,720
Speaker 2: contesting that, we're never arguing whether or not women share

947
00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 2: the same struggles and humans. We're black people are not

948
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 2: the only people on welfare or.

949
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:06,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that triggered as have you ever talked about welfare?

950
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 2: I'm so confused, And are also not the only people

951
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 2: that struggle with financial literacy. We're not saying that, no

952
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,319
Speaker 2: one has ever said that.

953
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 1: What we are saying is, Hi, I'm a black woman,

954
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 1: the only woman I've ever been because that's my life.

955
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: This is me talking a black woman of color, this

956
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 1: is my experience. My name is Jamila.

957
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 2: That's what we're saying, and systematic racism exists.

958
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,280
Speaker 1: If me speaking, if you tuning in to my show

959
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 1: about us about my fucking experience, and then you tell

960
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 1: me how I should address me and talk about my

961
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: fucking experience and what verbiage I should use to better

962
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 1: include a broader audience. When I didn't even fucking ask

963
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:57,360
Speaker 1: you about your marketing fucking advice. It just doesn't. It

964
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 1: just doesn't make sense. Furthermore, Babe, like you too, and

965
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 1: I get it, and I don't want you to feel excluded,

966
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: nor did we ever want anyone to feel excluded. That's

967
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 1: not while we're here. But I want everyone to understand

968
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 1: and to know everyone has a separate experience. Erica in

969
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 1: Ies is similar in this sense that we both grew

970
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: up in the same area, blocks away from one another,

971
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:26,240
Speaker 1: in a predominantly white space. So we are we share

972
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 1: that experience in a lot of ways, and so we

973
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 1: can only speak on that. We're not here to exclude anyone,

974
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 1: but we've lived a life of exclusion just by existing

975
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:38,919
Speaker 1: in this space.

976
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,480
Speaker 2: Do you feel uncomfortable?

977
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:45,920
Speaker 1: Good? Check out why this is how we felt k

978
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: through twelfth grade. Honestly, like, welcome to real life. This

979
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 1: is just a podcast. You could turn it off.

980
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 2: I'm not, and I don't think that's what she wants

981
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 2: to do. I think and I don't want to make

982
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,959
Speaker 2: you feel like an asshole, but this was an asshole email.

983
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 2: I don't think maybe you are an asshole, but this

984
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,760
Speaker 2: is an asshole email. And I need you to check

985
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 2: yourself and really ask yourself why you felt so compelled

986
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 2: to type this out two women of color, black women,

987
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 2: Latina woman here too, and tell us that we are

988
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 2: victimizing ourselves by calling ourselves women of color, which a

989
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:28,480
Speaker 2: we are, and relating it to the systematic experience that

990
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 2: people of color experience in so many sections of the world.

991
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:40,240
Speaker 2: Whether it's finances, whether it's sexuality, whether it's motherhood, whether

992
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: it's the job wherever you work, whether it's just walking

993
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 2: down the motherfucking street, whether it's going to get a

994
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: fucking candy bar at the liquor store, whether it's dropping

995
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 2: your It just goes on and on and on and

996
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 2: on and on and on and on. And I'm not

997
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 2: here to make this a whole racial thing, but you

998
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 2: started it. So I just need you to just really

999
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 2: check yourself and also understand that, yes, me and Mila

1000
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 2: we have a podcast. Of Course we care about marketing.

1001
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 2: Of course we want people to find us and shit,

1002
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 2: but this is really a podcast based in true passion

1003
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:21,319
Speaker 2: and love and sharing our personal experiences. I don't do

1004
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 2: this for the fucking clout. I do this because I

1005
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 2: love connecting with people. I love talking to my best friend,

1006
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 2: I love healing, I love learning, and I don't.

1007
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: Really give a fuck about your broad audience. We're not

1008
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 1: here to cater to anyone particular audience because that's not

1009
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 1: what brought us here. It's just that we're speaking. And

1010
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: if you resonate, great. If you're offended, I'm sorry. I'm

1011
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: not sorry. It's no other podcast. There's no personal you know,

1012
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 1: hatred being spewed by speaking our experience, and if you

1013
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 1: feel that way, you should check it.

1014
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:55,320
Speaker 2: Okay.

1015
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 1: And lastly, most important, lastly, the last part of the email. Lastly, please,

1016
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,319
Speaker 1: this is the number one role of white people. Do

1017
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: not throw your black or person of color husband in

1018
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 1: the mix to justify your stupid ass letter that you've

1019
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 1: typed out. Being married to tyrone or whoever the fuck

1020
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: you're married to doesn't really justify.

1021
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 2: The letter, doesn't put you in closer proximity to blackness.

1022
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: So stop.

1023
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 1: And actually, you're doing your black or child of color

1024
00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: a disservice by even using your husband or your baby

1025
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: daddy as a token of don't worry, this doesn't come

1026
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 1: from a place of because that kind of says the opposite.

1027
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 1: It's not cool. Don't throw your personal color husband in

1028
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 1: the mix to validate your words. It's kind of hurtful.

1029
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 2: It is. It's very hurtful. And I'm sure you love him,

1030
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 2: and I'm sure he loves you, and I'm sure you've

1031
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 2: experienced his experience in ways. But that doesn't make me

1032
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,719
Speaker 2: feel closer or it doesn't make me feel less offended

1033
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:05,080
Speaker 2: by your email, because I feel like maybe you knew

1034
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 2: your email was a bit offensive, and you thought by

1035
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 2: throwing that in you were going to relate to us

1036
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 2: in some way. That doesn't work ever, in fact, it

1037
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 2: never works. So I love you. I don't know if

1038
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 2: you'll ever listen to this.

1039
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 1: Podcast again, but we wish you peace.

1040
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,240
Speaker 2: But I wish you peace, and I hope that maybe

1041
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,720
Speaker 2: like this will help you in the future.

1042
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,760
Speaker 1: No mistake anyway.

1043
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 2: Anyway, we got a bounce.

1044
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:37,399
Speaker 1: We have shit to do. I'm high. Thank you. It's

1045
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 1: nice catching up with you as always. Of course I

1046
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: love you. I love you too. It's like our one

1047
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 1: time we were not like acting crazy like must do shit.

1048
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 1: We're like, let's talk like regular humans. Listen, this goes off,

1049
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 1: We're gonna be acting crazy again.

1050
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: Did you build the deck?

1051
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: Did you do the word you you stop there and

1052
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 1: look at that shit? Did you send the email?

1053
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,839
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Anyway, I hope, I hope you guys

1054
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 2: have great week. Make sure to rate and review this episode.

1055
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 2: You guys were almost at a thousand.

1056
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 1: I don't know, I have forty off. I don't understand

1057
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 1: why no one's listening to us. I know you're listening.

1058
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 1: Just fucking rate and review it. Just scroll all the

1059
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 1: way down to the bottom and say they're great, yay,

1060
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,920
Speaker 1: I love them. Do it. No, this is free. It

1061
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:19,479
Speaker 1: costs you nothing. You're being entertained for free. You're hearing

1062
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 1: all of our fucking business for free. Just rate and

1063
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 1: review us. Thanks on Apple Podcasts.

1064
00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 2: Make sure you go follow our patreon for more bonus

1065
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:32,800
Speaker 2: content for debbies, meditation, and so much more at patreon

1066
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 2: dot com. Backslash good Mom's Bad Choices, And I said,

1067
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 2: I love you.