Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is that goals exist to help us, not
Speaker 1: to trap us. If something is improving your life, that
Speaker 1: is great. If it is not, you are allowed to
Speaker 1: let it go. Today's tip comes from Sarah hart Unger's podcast,
Speaker 1: Best Laid Plans. If you listen to my other podcast,
Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds, you may know her as my
Speaker 1: co host. Best Laid Plans is her other podcast, which
Speaker 1: focuses on planners and planning. Fans of Sarah know that
Speaker 1: she loves setting goals and monitoring her progress toward these goals.
Speaker 1: But Sarah is also intentional about letting go of goals
Speaker 1: that end up not serving her well, because, as she
Speaker 1: puts it, goals are to help us, not to trap us.
Speaker 1: I think this is wise. Ideally, goals motivate us to
Speaker 1: work towards something that we find valuable. They not just
Speaker 1: to take small, steady steps towards becoming the people that
Speaker 1: we want to be. If you have a goal that
Speaker 1: is not doing that well, then you've got some thinking
Speaker 1: to do. Goals should enhance well being, not diminish it.
Speaker 1: If a goal is making you feel trapped, then it
Speaker 1: might not be the right goal for you, or at
Speaker 1: least not the right goal for right now. This realization
Speaker 1: usually plays out in one of two ways. First, sometimes
Speaker 1: we do theoretically want to achieve the goal, but we
Speaker 1: come to recognize that the opportunity cost is too i
Speaker 1: for instance, you say you want to run a marathon.
Speaker 1: Great goal, but with your work and family schedule, it
Speaker 1: seems that the cost will mean giving up that Sunday
Speaker 1: morning brunch with your best friends for the four months
Speaker 1: that you are training, and that Sunday morning brunch is
Speaker 1: what makes the rest of the week feel doable. Or
Speaker 1: maybe your goal of retiring early means you are saving
Speaker 1: so aggressively that you feel like you need to say
Speaker 1: no to things that really you'd like to say yes to,
Speaker 1: like travel, getting together with friends, or giving to a
Speaker 1: cause you care about. The Pursuit of a future goal
Speaker 1: can cause the present to feel out of balance. If
Speaker 1: that's the case, you can do several things. One is
Speaker 1: to make sure that you are truly viewing the trade
Speaker 1: offs correctly. When I trained for a marathon many years ago,
Speaker 1: I decided to start work late on either Wednesday or
Speaker 1: Thursday morning each week, and I do my long run
Speaker 1: on that morning, no weekend sacrifice required. As for the
Speaker 1: aggressive saving, maybe there are ways to say yes to
Speaker 1: things without huge outlays of cash. You suggest potlucks with friends,
Speaker 1: and you volunteer regularly in place of donating. That said,
Speaker 1: you might also decide to modify your goal. The shorter
Speaker 1: long runs that are necessary for a half marathon might
Speaker 1: have you done in time for brunch. You could retire
Speaker 1: it fifty four instead of fifty and get a better
Speaker 1: balance of present and future desires. Figure out how the
Speaker 1: goal can be life affirming, helpful instead of something that
Speaker 1: traps you into unwanted outcomes. Aside from the opportunity cost,
Speaker 1: the second way that goals wind up feeling like traps
Speaker 1: is when we discover that they are actually not as
Speaker 1: attractive as anticipated. All sorts of things sound awesome until
Speaker 1: you spend a lot of time doing them. Just because
Speaker 1: something is meaningful or enjoyable for someone else doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it will be for you. Maybe everyone has said that
Speaker 1: you would be great in marketing, so you set a
Speaker 1: goal of career change. You go on a lot of
Speaker 1: informational interviews and realize as you do that the field
Speaker 1: just doesn't seem like a good fit good to now
Speaker 1: it is okay to let the goal go. In fact,
Speaker 1: it is great that you realize this. You should celebrate
Speaker 1: this new knowledge. Goals are here to help us, not
Speaker 1: trap us in something that doesn't feel right. Time to
Speaker 1: start working towards something else. This is especially important to
Speaker 1: remember now as people start setting their goals for the
Speaker 1: new Year. I of New Year's resolutions as much as
Speaker 1: the next person. Just remember to think through how the
Speaker 1: goal will play out in day to day life and
Speaker 1: what the ramifications of that will be. And keep in
Speaker 1: mind that if a goal is going to make you
Speaker 1: feel unhappy with life by February, then you should rethink it.
Speaker 1: Goals are here to serve us. They are there to
Speaker 1: help us, not trap us. There's no reason to have
Speaker 1: goals that do anything else. In the meantime, this is Laura,
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of
Speaker 1: our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker 1: You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.
Speaker 1: Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E. The number four. Then
Speaker 1: Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me an
Speaker 1: email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeartmedia dot com
Speaker 1: that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For
Speaker 1: more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows.