WEBVTT - Lil' Mommas...MERCH IS AVAILABLE!

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<v Speaker 1>What up, freaks, Listen to me, you god damn sickos, listen,

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<v Speaker 1>listen to us and listen good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, put that fucking moscato down, little mama. What the

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<v Speaker 2>why are you drinking?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you just have dinner?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it des our wine?

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<v Speaker 1>Why are you just drinking that but just raw.

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<v Speaker 2>Drink on a Tuesday? You're fucking weirdo. What are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>They don't even drink that no more? You all know.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I got some one ice just in case

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<v Speaker 2>it comes back.

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<v Speaker 1>But I do have a new vox section in my freezer.

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<v Speaker 1>But but that's neither here, no there.

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<v Speaker 2>My dream house has a hypnotic cellar, So.

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<v Speaker 1>You got like hypnotic over the years where the artwork.

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<v Speaker 2>Changes a little bit and shit.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I didn't even know Hypnotic had that bottle.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you would have to.

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<v Speaker 1>You'd have to be a real kind of sworder to

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<v Speaker 1>know that.

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<v Speaker 2>The real heads, no, the red one.

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<v Speaker 1>Anyway, we were calling upon you because, uh, we have

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<v Speaker 1>we have new merch. We have very exciting merch that

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<v Speaker 1>we are now selling and it's it's fucking great. We

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<v Speaker 1>love it so much.

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<v Speaker 2>It's sexy. Come on, you could wear it anyway. You

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<v Speaker 2>could wear it to the gym Ah Tech school graduations. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>fucking child support hearings.

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<v Speaker 1>Listen, if you put it on before a child support hearing,

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<v Speaker 1>I almost guarantee that that that day you ain't gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be guilty. I can't guarantee that things are gonna eventually

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<v Speaker 1>follow your way. That's not for us to decide. But

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<v Speaker 1>that day you ain't gonna owe no money.

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<v Speaker 2>Then it's a fact. No one's ever gone to jail

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<v Speaker 2>in any of our merch.

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<v Speaker 1>That's true. That's check the check the research. Come on,

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<v Speaker 1>come on, well, you have the opportunity to prove us

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<v Speaker 1>from you can buy our merch. Commit some crimes in it,

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<v Speaker 1>commit some crimes, and maybe you will be the first

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<v Speaker 1>person to go to jail. And that's historic because you'll

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<v Speaker 1>be wearing our merch when you do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm calling it right now, first person to go to

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<v Speaker 2>jail in our merch. You get a free pin.

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<v Speaker 1>You get a free pin. That's fair. I think that's fair.

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<v Speaker 1>And you will have to figure out a way to

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<v Speaker 1>write us from jail. We need to know it when

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<v Speaker 1>it happens. It can't be like a thing that comes

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<v Speaker 1>days later, because frankly, somebody else might beat you to

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<v Speaker 1>the punch and that it just is what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>But yeah, please write us and let us know that

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<v Speaker 1>you in fact deserve a pin in jail, which they

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<v Speaker 1>will take away from you because I don't think you

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<v Speaker 1>get to have that.

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<v Speaker 2>It's absolutely contraband.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's they're gonna take that almost immediately. But but

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<v Speaker 1>just know with three to five years, when you get

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<v Speaker 1>out that pin is yours.

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<v Speaker 2>We think about how nice you're gonna fit it.

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<v Speaker 1>Then you never say big buff niggas with pins.

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<v Speaker 2>It's you know what else? I was sicking the other day.

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<v Speaker 2>You never see him with scarves when that's time. He's

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<v Speaker 2>like a brolic type dude with a scarf on.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like Jason Momoa be trying to play

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<v Speaker 1>in that space and it looks odd.

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<v Speaker 2>It looks stupid. You were what's that? What's that little

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<v Speaker 2>scarf gonna do for those big ass shoulders?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is this don't feel right, my man, and

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna have to cut that out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. What I always think it's like, what do you

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<v Speaker 2>wears that floppy beanie? We know that's not for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is because you ate out a lady who needs.

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<v Speaker 2>This, because you ain't out a witch. Let's be honest,

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<v Speaker 2>that's true. Are we talking about buying our merch.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're here to sell you merch, and we have

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<v Speaker 1>great merch we we have. You want to tell them

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<v Speaker 1>what we have?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is

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<v Speaker 2>really fun. We have a two tone hat Alien Dad hat,

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<v Speaker 2>the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have

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<v Speaker 2>the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie

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<v Speaker 2>on it, since my mama told me. And then we

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<v Speaker 2>have T shirts that say proud Little Mama, which is

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<v Speaker 2>who you are. Yeah, and you're proud right.

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<v Speaker 1>You self identify as a little mama, as you should,

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<v Speaker 1>as we support that identity if you self identify that way.

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<v Speaker 1>There are shirts that say proud little Mama and they

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<v Speaker 1>got the logo and shit on the back.

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<v Speaker 2>It looks great and they're easy to buy. Just go

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<v Speaker 2>to my mama told me dot Merch Central. That's dot

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<v Speaker 2>M E R C H C E N T r

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<v Speaker 2>A L dot com. Put in your credit card number.

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<v Speaker 2>Are we gonna scam you?

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<v Speaker 1>Hard to know?

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<v Speaker 2>That's for you to find out.

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<v Speaker 1>And frankly, that depends on how much merch you buy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you buy three T shirts I ain't taking your ship.

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<v Speaker 1>No, we we understand that you're a real fan and

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<v Speaker 1>we respect you.

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<v Speaker 2>But if you show up.

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<v Speaker 1>Just wanting one pin, now we got object to see

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<v Speaker 1>how much more you got in there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, come on, I'm worried about what else

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<v Speaker 2>you got going on.

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<v Speaker 1>We frankly, we're worried about your future. And if we're

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<v Speaker 1>not checking your bank account afterwards, we are being irresponsible.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't forget We do it because we care.

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<v Speaker 1>We that's the only reason we have this podcast and

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<v Speaker 1>we're selling this merch is because we care.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, my mama told met merch central dot com

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<v Speaker 2>for all your merch.

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<v Speaker 1>Needs, and we hope to see you out in the ship.

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<v Speaker 1>Will show up to shows and places that we are

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<v Speaker 1>eating at restaurants and be like, I'm a proud little

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<v Speaker 1>mama and I would be like, oh cool man, Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe not in front of my daughter. And you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh yeah cool, yeah yeah like that.

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<v Speaker 1>So.

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<v Speaker 2>What stand Yeah, no, no, no whatever. You when you

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<v Speaker 2>see me out in the street.

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<v Speaker 1>My daughter, do not fucking speak to me.

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<v Speaker 2>Well yeah, these T shirts and hats infans the pre

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<v Speaker 2>right now. They'll all be shipped December tenth, So you

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<v Speaker 2>should be able to get him by Christmas, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean? So you know what are you looking for?

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<v Speaker 2>Something to get your father in law who doesn't respect

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<v Speaker 2>you as a man or a provider? Maybe a two tone?

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<v Speaker 2>My mama told me that.

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<v Speaker 1>I would say a proud little mama T shirt because

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<v Speaker 1>that sort of degrades him a little bit, brings him

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<v Speaker 1>down to your level. Now you're now you're on, Now

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<v Speaker 1>you're you can have a real conversation. I think you're

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<v Speaker 1>a little mama bitch.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how about that? And your daughter ate this dick.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's that's the whole thing, my bitch.

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<v Speaker 2>Chips in your.

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<v Speaker 1>Ah Kuala bears are racists. Money many turkey stuff, I

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<v Speaker 1>can't tell me