WEBVTT - Check Ya Mental 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:07.320 You are listening to Winning on Reparations production of My 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:11.440 Heart Radio My Check. Oh sometimes life can just go 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:13.360 and throw you a cork screop. So you've got to 0:00:13.400 --> 0:00:15.600 go and just look for someone to talk to places 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:17.440 you don't get to go. But you better make sure 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.239 it's professional. But that should be always cost an extra dough. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.120 So you've gotta go to work and try to make 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:24.560 some extra dope telling people about your feelings. They're saying 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:26.920 it's just the show, but I guess it's just life. 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:29.639 Don't accept it though. I'm so damn mad. It's making 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:32.800 my head explode. Rat Race, cat Chase where my credit go, 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.200 trying to stay out the state pen and the Federal 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.879 ro Dope Knife Lingua franca. We're the best show. Buckle up, 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:47.960 We're about to begin the show. Oh oh yo, what 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:52.680 is going on? Party people? You are listening to Dope Knife. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:58.840 We are the duo known as Waiting on Reparation. You 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:00.480 know this is the show where we talk ki pop 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:02.480 and politics, all that jazz. You know how it is 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:06.240 follow us like subscribe to all this? We don't. We 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:08.880 don't give these plugs enough. I think I think we 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.560 need to. We're too humble. Are we even wrappers? Like? 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.200 What is this? Just? Like? Well, well, if you'll if 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.119 you would like to give five stars on the Apple Podcast, 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:19.679 it would really help. I would make me feel better. 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.920 Oh how you doing. I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, things 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:26.959 are going well over here. How you've been, I've been good, yo, 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:31.240 hanging in and maintaining you know, it's it's the episode 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.880 that we got today kind of. It's a it's a 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.679 good thing because it's like, you know, the weight of 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:39.840 everything just kind of getting to you, to get in 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:41.680 the heads a little bit, and you know, I had 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.000 to take a little break in a breather and kind 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:46.600 of shut myself down for about a day too, just 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:50.200 to have some alone time. I know you're probably you're 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:53.120 probably going through the rigors of it. Oh man. Yeah. 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:56.320 I went to my my my grandmother's house in North 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:58.440 Carolina over the weekend too, so that she can meet 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.320 her great grandson. But then I just I just slept 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.640 for like twelve hours a day. I didn't I didn't 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:08.080 realize that was that tired until I got out into 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:11.200 like the middle of nowhere, this farm in like very 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:16.200 rural like country Bumpkin, North Carolina. Uh, you know, other 0:02:16.240 --> 0:02:18.880 people on tees and whatnot watching the baby, and I 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.760 just like let my guard down and just allowed myself 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:26.000 to sleep. It's crazy. Oh yeah, well I mean I 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:29.760 probably still even need more. It's still probably need even 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:33.600 more sleep. Yeah, but um yeah I apparently really needed it. 0:02:33.600 --> 0:02:37.200 But this is crazy, like how you can be running 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:39.959 and running around and not realize how depleted you are 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:43.440 until you actually let yourself like rest. You're like, oh, ship, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:46.800 I was actually racked right now. So like, do you 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.680 think that like your rest did more for you physically 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:53.520 or you're just your mental both. I think it's all. 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.880 You know, we are, our bodies and minds are you know, 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:02.000 one big pool of goo um, And so I think, yeah, 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:04.519 the physical rest also helping my mental a little bit. 0:03:05.360 --> 0:03:09.959 Um for sure. Definitely, definitely that's good. We all everybody 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.080 needs to take some times to rest the mental. I 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:16.440 like how we're like straight up using like nineties jargon, 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:21.079 you got you gotta you gotta rest those mentals, you 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.040 gotta relax your mentals. So what do we got for 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:25.000 the people today? But yeah, today we are gonna be 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:28.240 talking about mental health and hip hop um, both the 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:32.080 sources of mental english within hip hop communities and how 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.840 those have been Um expressed through the music of folks 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:38.440 like Ghetto Boys, UM and then barriers as well to 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:42.680 access to mental health care, Um expressed in music from 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:48.000 a sub rock to UM Day from his album Psychodrama. UM. 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:50.280 So yeah, we're gonna go through we might we might 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:53.600 even talk a little bit about our own personal healing. Yeah, 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:57.000 through the through the music. It's like if you if 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.119 you really, I mean, you know, we're gonna I guess 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:02.480 we're gonna specific We'll be talking about, you know, like 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.720 overt examinations of like how you know mental health is 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:08.800 dealt with in hip hop. But really, if you just 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.480 listen to all of this stuff, it's like one big 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:15.600 therapy session at the end of the day. Whether somebody's 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:18.239 like flexing about like you know, diamonds on their wrists 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:22.520 or being very real about like struggles, all of it 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:26.520 is a cope. All of it. Yeah healthy and I 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:29.640 think largely a healthy one in that as as compared 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:33.720 to other ways that people may seek to remedy their 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:36.560 internal strife. So yeah, well, I mean, you know we've 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.320 covered it before that hip hop was kind of started 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:42.240 as a big copings. You know what I'm saying, it's like, 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:44.960 I don't I don't want to fight. I'm angry enough 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.120 to fight this dude, but ship, let's just work it 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:50.159 out on the mic, or let's let's break dance in 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:54.040 the streets. You know, it's exactly exactly. Yeah, get into 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:55.640 all that. Wait or did you want to talk about 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:56.880 you want to do? You have something you want to 0:04:56.880 --> 0:04:58.800 talk about? You have someone? Well, I mean, you know, 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:02.000 when when when you approached me about you know, I'm 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:04.080 I am a fan of the sports balls, you know, 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:06.320 several of the sports ball sports I'm a fan of. 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:09.120 So when you were mentioning that we should do this episode, 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:11.599 it had me thinking about a story that's going on 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:14.920 in the sports world right now with Philadelphia seventy sixers 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:18.120 player Ben Simmons. And he's been having you know, for 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:20.240 those of you who don't know, he's been having disputes 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:24.040 with his team. He's there's two sides to every story, 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.440 so I'm not even getting into that. But he's trying 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:30.560 to sit out but still get paid, and he can't 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:34.159 sit out and get paid for not playing, so you know, 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:38.039 he's he's come after several attempts of going back and 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:39.840 forth with the team. He's now come out and said 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:42.719 that he has met he's going through a you know, 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:44.880 a mental crisis of sorts or he's having you know, 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:48.800 he's not mentally prepared to join the team, and you know, 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:52.120 the team has been supportive. It seems like the fan 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:55.160 base is supportive. The media is kind of being agnostic 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:58.360 about it, but it's kind of started up a discussion 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:01.359 about when is it fair to question the motives of 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:04.960 someone's claims of you know, mental anguish and stuff like that, 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:06.960 and everyone's being very sense I mean, you know what, 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:11.520 I guess the cool thing about it for me seeing 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.320 it play out is I feel like five years ago, 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:18.120 this wouldn't even have been a debate whether he's right 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:20.160 or wrong in a matter. I think like five years ago, 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:22.159 if he had come out and been like, hey, guys, 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.640 now I'm having some mental issues. I think that just 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.160 off the bat, everybody would be like, oh, that's bullshit, 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:28.920 you lie in you lie, you know what I mean. 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:31.320 At least reached a place where people to take people's 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:34.400 mental health claims seriously exactly exactly because it has been 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.360 distigmatized two a degree, thanks in part to things like hip. 0:06:37.400 --> 0:06:39.560 I would say exactly and just you know, empathy to 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:42.080 you know what I'm saying, like, yeah, it could be us, 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:44.080 you know what I'm saying. And we can't read anybody's 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:45.839 mind to tell what they're thinking. But I mean that 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:49.040 was just like a just one of those pop cultural 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:51.240 things that I was following that made the episode seem like, 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:54.440 oh man, this is really relates to stuff that I'm 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:56.760 into right now. Yeah, And I mean, with that following 0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:00.400 the situation closely, I would say that, like in gen role, 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:02.640 my approach to things like this would regards to the 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:07.480 credibility of claims of mental health crisis. Um, I think 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:10.720 there's a far wider array of thanks that could be 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:14.120 construed as mental health crisis than we normally accept as 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:18.520 a society failure to cope with all kinds of situations 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:22.840 and and orienting ourselves to to those failures with with 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:26.920 a with an eye towards how like what's resources someone 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:30.720 needs in order to perform effectively is the kind of 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:33.200 shift we probably need in our society in order just 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.840 to be healthier. Healthier society. You look at things like 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:41.320 you know, gun violence and interpersonal you know, domestic partner, 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:45.160 intimate partner violence. UM, even just like work, stress and 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:48.040 things like that. UM. I mean, yeah, I think a 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:51.080 lot of it require subsystems change for coping with really 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:54.800 toxic systems, but also UM showing work and passion for 0:07:55.080 --> 0:08:00.720 and with that, UM providing more resource is for folks 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:02.559 that are going through it in a variety of ways. 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:05.240 I mean, this person is, you know, they're fucking negotiating 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:09.440 basketball contracts or whatever. Um, these are probably a better 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.440 situation than most, and so I don't have the most 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:18.280 empathy for that. He's in a very very good situation. Yeah, 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:20.400 but I don't doubt at all that he's going through 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.640 something mentally that sounds like it would be really fucking 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:26.240 aggravating too. Yeah, I go through doubt. I don't doubt that. 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:29.000 I just think it's I guess it's the optics are 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:30.960 kind of hard to escape, you know what I'm saying. 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:33.360 That's just what it comes down to, that it's like 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.400 there's no way of getting in anyone's head. But it's 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:39.600 just it's unavoidable to you know, Oh, you're having this 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:41.640 problem with wanting to be on the team for the 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:46.200 last five months, and then yesterday you're you mentally can't 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:49.240 do it. Yeah, I mean, I think that creating a 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:55.960 culture of compassion and um well and resourcing our communities 0:08:55.960 --> 0:09:02.280 effectively to a like, resourcing our community is effectively to 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:06.920 help folks cope with mental stress and emotional stress. Let's 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:09.439 talk more about the Yeah, we don't, we don't need to. 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:12.400 We're talking about it, dude, trying to hang on to 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:16.720 a I was gonna say, oh yeah, I think I 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:20.079 think that creating a more passionate culture and better resource 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:24.520 communities for coping with UM mental stress also enables people 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:27.320 to be more honest about it, Like I would say 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:31.480 that like, oh, perhaps like the stand alone like, oh, 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.000 I'm having some mental health you know, problems, Like I 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:37.439 don't know to what do you believe that? Um? But 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:39.560 but if you were to be honest about hey, the 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.040 situation has been very stressful for me and it's negatively 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.320 impacting my health. UM. I think if we had a 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:47.320 culture that validated folks when they came forward to speak 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:51.240 about the true nature of what they're going through internally, UM, 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.880 we'd have fewer disputes over like is this real or 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.240 is that real? Because people can be honest about you, Look, 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.360 I know this is kind of some function. However, I 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.600 am going to for these two. I totally agree. And 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:06.160 and you know it's like what is worse the opposite 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:09.920 or you know what what what what seems to be 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:14.800 because if if the situation is people are more empathetic 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.599 and compassionate you know I'm saying, and open to understanding 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:19.839 what other people are going through and ship like that. 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.439 And there are people who want to take advantage of that, 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:25.560 who slipped through the cracks of that. It's still a 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:29.520 better situation than a society where nobody wants to hear 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:31.800 hear it, no one cares about your feelings and fuck 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:33.320 you, you you know what I'm saying, do it with it. 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:36.319 There'll be a big baby. Yeah, we're gonna get into 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.400 UM all things mental health on this episode. I would 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:41.480 like to add a content warning. We do have some 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:46.840 discussion of UM suicidal idegation, things like that. But I 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:48.520 hope that we have a lot of resources here as 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:51.960 well for folks that resonate with someone what we talked about. 0:10:52.120 --> 0:10:58.160 So say soon, we'll be right back, and we're back, 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.240 and we're gonna start off by talking about UM ghetto 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:07.400 boys mine playing tricks on me, which I imagine UM 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:13.120 many of our listeners are familiar with released still my first. Um. 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:16.839 They talk a lot about paranoia, like staying up at night, 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:19.839 seeing people in your room, being constantly on edge, And 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.320 according to the Mayo Clinic, it sounds as if the 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:27.360 mcs are describing symptoms of post traumatic post traumatic stress disorder, 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:30.840 you know, from recurrent I wanted distressing memories of a 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.960 traumatic event, upsetting dream good nightmares about the traumatic event, 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:37.520 troubled sleeping, overwhelming, guilt of shame, always being on guard 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.719 for danger, and thoughts of suicide. Um. All sounds like 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.120 you know, textbooks on terms of PTSD, and they're not 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.000 the only rappers to talk about suicidal thoughts. In addition 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:50.840 to the Biggest song by the very name, will Wayne 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.559 opened up into that Stephanie and about his teenage suicide 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:57.280 at him but she had previously branded an accidental shooting. 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:00.520 So apparently when he was twelve years old he shot 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.320 himself in the chest. Um and said, oh, it was 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.560 like you know, he mishandled the gun or something like that. 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:09.880 But you know, in an interview, uh King Clean that 0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:13.880 his I think his mother at threatened to take his 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:17.280 music career away or take away streams of rapping, and 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.600 he thought that without that, you know, he couldn't. He 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:22.439 he didn't want to live anymore. And he actually rapped 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.400 about the incident on his two thousand fifteen track London 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:29.160 Roads from the album Free Wheezy Messita Remember going in 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:32.000 your gun drawer, putting it to my chest, missing my 0:12:32.040 --> 0:12:37.040 heart by sentimnoz oh Lord like talked about it openly 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.400 and didn't even I didn't even know that i'd heard 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.320 that story before, but I heard the accidental discharge stories, 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:45.679 so I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He later came out 0:12:45.760 --> 0:12:48.320 and was like, actually, you know, this was a real 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:53.120 attempt um taking my life sadly twelve years old. So, 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:57.200 according to the CDC, rates of depression anxiety leapt upwards 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:01.120 for young folks between the ages twelve and seventeen, increasingly 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.920 so in the last two decades, and stories like this 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:07.120 or why. The Garrett Lee Smith Memorial Act was signed 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:10.080 into law October two thousand four. It was the first 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:14.439 legislation to provide fundings specifically for youth suicide prevention programs. 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:18.880 Under this legislation, funding was set aside for campuses, states, tribes, 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.440 and US territories to develop, the valuate and improve early 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:26.760 intervention in suicide prevention programs. But where do these symptoms 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.960 come from? Like why twelve years old whyl Wayne going 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.800 for the gun drawer? Why? Like what sorts of influences 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:34.560 in the lives of folks I got'll boids leave them 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:37.439 to create a song like my plane tarts on me. Definitely, 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.760 it's like nurture and environment, you know what I'm saying. 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.800 It's like, like we were just saying, it's like there 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:48.440 is a natural stress that comes to living in a 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.520 capitalistic society. It's just built in. You know what I'm saying. 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.400 It's it's built in. It's a dog eat dog. Everybody's 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.120 in constant competition with one another. So you've got that 0:13:57.200 --> 0:14:01.160 base level of stress. But then you add on conditions 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:03.800 that make it even the compound on ship. But when 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:07.120 you have a lot of caps that are coming from 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.920 difficult circumstances, whether it be economic or maybe it's high 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:15.360 crime areas, they don't have the influences and mentors and 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.320 adults that are around them that they need and ship 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.840 and then they think that they're just going through life 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.680 regular because this is how it is. But in actuality, 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:26.320 people aren't supposed to be living through that right and 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:28.680 I think that I think that comes that We're gonna 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:32.160 circle back to talk more about stigma as a barrier 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:33.840 to access in mental healthcare in a bit. But I 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.600 think that's really more the case than anything, is that 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.960 it's the normalization of trauma of just like, oh, everyone's 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.720 like this, everybody you know feels this way, and then 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:48.040 you actually find out, Wait, y'all don't think about this stuff. 0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:50.040 Y'all don't lay awake at night, you know, with your 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:53.200 finger on the trigger, like y'all out here living happy lives. 0:14:53.200 --> 0:14:55.600 I thought everybody funk this way because we don't talk 0:14:55.720 --> 0:15:00.640 enough about mental health. Um, you know, people afraid to 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:04.760 come forward to when they're struggling or you know, they 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.360 don't even know that they should talk about it because 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.600 they think that they're experiencing is perfectly common and fine. 0:15:10.240 --> 0:15:13.600 So I have a question, and I I'm sorry if 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:16.640 this comes off insensitive or not, because like I've definitely 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:19.920 dealt with my issues before, and I've had thoughts and 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.000 all that sort of thing. But I just wonder, is 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:28.120 it like determined that all, like all attempts or thoughts 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:31.880 of suicide are related to mental illness? Yeah? I think so. 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.520 I mean, I can't. I can't speak from like a 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:39.880 clinicians like perspective, like how they formally categorize things like that. 0:15:39.960 --> 0:15:43.760 But this, I definitely think that's not normal. I don'initely 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:46.280 think that's like a sign of um even not a 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:51.600 mental illness in terms of like something um even determined 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:57.040 like somebody with like chronic illness or something like that 0:15:57.120 --> 0:15:59.680 who doesn't want to feel the pain anymore. But that's 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:01.960 still be like you know what I mean, like if 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:05.720 you if you you with with guidance and clarity, you 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.400 probably wouldn't be thinking of Still that's a good question. 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.960 That's a good question. I mean, if it's a reasonable 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:14.200 at times as a couple of response to adversity with 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:16.640 you know, thinking about like terminal illness or something like that. 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.760 Perhaps we're diving into in a future episode because I'm 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.480 sure there's some research out there on that topic that 0:16:22.560 --> 0:16:26.960 might be really eliminating. Um. Coming back to the conditions 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:28.960 we living through men, I mean, like in addition to 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.960 folks like you know, the Getta Boys, billow Wayne at 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:35.920 a young age seeing seeing like physical aviolence in the community, 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:38.120 seeing people get shot or losing a parent, either do 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:41.560 incarceration or community violence. I think that there's a lot 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:46.040 more trauma in the community. Then we realize that it's 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:50.280 grown from systemic forms of violence. So the trauma of hunger, 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.280 of being hungry every day, and the procarity of not 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:56.440 knowing what your next meal is coming from housing procarity 0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.480 like not knowing where you're going to sleep at night 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.680 if you're family is like moving from the house to house, 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:05.720 shelter to shelter, hotel room, staying with auntie's and uncle, 0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:11.840 things like that. UM, like, yeah, I've got a family 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:14.560 and you've got like four hundred, only four hundred dollars 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:18.280 in your bank account. That's fucking stress. It's stress. It's stress, 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:21.560 and it you know, it lends itself to It lends 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:26.080 itself substance abuse, it lends itself to UM just suppoor 0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:29.760 coping mechanisms of many kinds. It lends itself to UM 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:33.159 behavioral disorders. I would say, Um, you know, there's a 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.080 saying hurt people, hurt people, and this is after something 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:38.439 I've been studying as I've been thinking about public safety 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:42.560 interventions in the community. UM. One sort of model that 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:46.560 I've been really interested in recently is the cure violence 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:50.159 approach to disrupting violence in the community, which takes an 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:55.680 epidemiological approach to UM understanding violence in the community. So 0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:59.240 it's it's they sort of think that, like UM, violence 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.280 is like a virus that when you're exposed to it, 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:07.440 you convince you then are more likely to transmit it 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.840 to other people by then doing acts of violence, so 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:15.440 hurt people, hurting people, and so they you know, UM 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.760 employ or this program youre violence. They employ violence interrupters 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:22.920 who act like contact tracers in a certain sense, UM, 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:25.639 identifying folks in the community who have been impacted by 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.439 violence and who are thus at risk of transmitting violence 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:32.399 to other people. And they halt communities git spread just 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.560 like with COVID wearing a mask or social distancing by 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:40.840 encouraging mitigation strategies. Um. Um. These folks they connect people 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.280 who have been exposed to violence with healing and resources 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:46.560 so that they don't keep the cycle going. So UM 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:48.879 thinking about it just like you know, just like COVID, 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.359 just like any other virus where UM any any other 0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:56.280 like national health crisis any other. Yeah, I mean, like 0:18:56.320 --> 0:19:00.520 public health at large. UM. You know, the fabric, the 0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:03.760 strength of the fabric of the community is such determinant 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:07.960 for its health in so many ways. But um, thinking 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:10.080 about about like, Okay, how do we disrupt cycles of 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:14.440 violence by like halting the spread, by cutting you know, interrupting, 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.119 you know, cutting off somebody before they go out and 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.959 hurt somebody else, by helping them heal from the trauma 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:23.359 that they have, um, they're carrying with them as a 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:29.520 result of violence exposure from the past. So medical hypotheses 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:33.280 about what causes PTSD, Yes, let's talk about where, like 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:36.200 what people think this is coming from. Some say it 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:39.520 could be a survival mechanism intended to help us survive 0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:44.520 further traumatic experiences, for example flashbacks. Many people with PTSD 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:46.800 experience may force them to think about an event in 0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:49.720 full details, so you're better prepared for if it happens again. 0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:53.680 The feeling of being on edge hyper arousal may have 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.840 developed to help you react quickly to other crisis. As 0:19:56.840 --> 0:20:01.440 a result of neoliberalism, commodifications of basic needs food, housing, 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:05.399 and education, and cycles of community violence without adequate healing 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:09.760 resources in the communities, we leave treatment to the jails. Yep. 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:12.440 So it's like, oh, well, you ain't got any you 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:15.160 ain't got nowhere to sleep, You ain't got nobody talk 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:18.800 to um. But we do have jails, and so that's 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:23.359 where home homeless jail, prostitute making money selling your body 0:20:23.359 --> 0:20:26.280 and you know, not hurting nobody. Jail still some some 0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:30.040 gymps on the seven eleven jail um which all of 0:20:30.040 --> 0:20:33.760 these things are driven by these you know, lesser spoken 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:38.080 of forms of trauma that from folks experience from very 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:41.680 early ages within hip hop communities to the National Alliance 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:44.760 of Mental Health reports that two million individuals with mental 0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:48.639 illness are booked into jails each year, Nearly of incarcerated 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:53.440 men and of incarcerated women have a serious mental health condition, 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:56.760 and that rates of mental illness and persons of jails 0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.920 are three to six times that of the general population. 0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:04.239 In two eighteen, Washington Post reported that one thousand, one 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:08.560 sixty civilians had been fairly shot by police, two hundred 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:12.600 of whom were confirmed to be mentally ill. UM statistic 0:21:12.720 --> 0:21:17.960 then um is that people with untreatedments illnesses are sixteen 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:21.000 times were likely to be killed during a police encounter, 0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:26.399 and of state prisoners with mental health disorders are incarcerated 0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:29.800 for nonviolent crimes higher in certain parts of the country. 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:33.200 In this study, those with mental health diagnosis, jailed and 0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:38.080 King County, Penellis County, Washington. More than sixt of them 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:41.280 were minor crimes or survived. So you know, I spent 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:44.160 on the talking about like cycles of violence in the community, 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:47.320 but even but it's even petty ship. I brought out 0:21:47.320 --> 0:21:49.159 the example of someone feeling a slim gym from the 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.320 seven eleven um, which is like but which is still 0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:57.159 blaming people behind bars because we don't have because we 0:21:57.200 --> 0:22:03.159 don't we don't read signs of of this behavioral malfunction 0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:06.000 if you want to say as as something to be treated, 0:22:06.640 --> 0:22:10.080 something that's requiring some sort of mental health intervention, instead 0:22:10.119 --> 0:22:12.359 like you broke the law, so we're gonna throw you 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:15.119 behind bars. And then another thing that we're not even 0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:20.480 like dealing with is ther motherfucker's know what jail does 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:24.520 to you. She doesn't make you better. Hell no. So 0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:27.280 if you are going they're locking you up for said 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:30.800 slim Jim, that's a fucking traumatic event that if you 0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.399 were fine beforehand, like if you really just wanted to 0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:35.480 slim Jim and didn't want to spend a dollar fifty nine, 0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:38.159 then they lock you up. Even just getting booked for 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:40.440 some ship like that is a traumatic experience. Being in 0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:42.920 holding a holding tank is a traumatic experience, or you 0:22:42.920 --> 0:22:46.760 know what I'm saying. So all this ship contributes to right, 0:22:46.760 --> 0:22:50.760 and so we read traumatized, traumatized people who were going 0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:54.960 to get out and do what continue to act out 0:22:55.040 --> 0:22:58.439 because they've been traumatized and not adequately treated for their 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:04.679 underlying cause is of behavioral dysfunction UM. To look at 0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:08.920 a concrete example of the sort of link between UM 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:14.320 defunding of social services and expansion and reliance upon UM 0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:18.560 prisons for mental health treatment quote unquote, Chicago's Cook County 0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:21.200 Jail is the biggest single side jail in the United 0:23:21.200 --> 0:23:24.199 States and one of the biggest mental healthcare providers in 0:23:24.240 --> 0:23:27.000 the country. About a third of the jail six thousand 0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:30.080 or so inmates have been diagnosed with the mental illness, 0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:32.800 and many of them were sent to the facility after 0:23:32.800 --> 0:23:36.080 the state reduced funding for hospitals and community based outreach 0:23:36.480 --> 0:23:41.199 during the economic recession between like eight and UM. In 0:23:41.240 --> 0:23:45.639 those years, Illinois slash one point or no, excuse me, 0:23:46.000 --> 0:23:49.920 not one point. Oh god, this is even worse. A 0:23:50.040 --> 0:23:53.600 hundred and thirteen point seven million dollars from its budget 0:23:53.640 --> 0:23:57.400 for mental health services. Causing at least to state operated 0:23:57.400 --> 0:24:01.760 in patient facilities and six clinic in Chicago alone close 0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:05.640 and with your services available, more people struggling with psychoses 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:08.480 have been pushed into the streets, I think, and I 0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:11.720 think this is both in terms of not having beds 0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:13.960 to sleep in and push into the streets with regards 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:17.959 to criminality. Um and these days and mirror national trends 0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:20.600 between two that and nine and twelve, state like just 0:24:20.680 --> 0:24:25.560 the state legislatures around the country cut four points three 0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:30.160 five billion dollars in services for people with psychiatric problems, 0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:35.200 even while the need for services increased. So that explains 0:24:35.320 --> 0:24:38.800 the fucking music bro Like, god dammn, you got bigas 0:24:38.800 --> 0:24:40.960 out here shooting kids of each other, going to jail 0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:43.920 for it, being retraumatized with that experience, getting now doing 0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:47.760 it again, all because you know, there's this tight link 0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:54.479 between uh, commodification of basic needs, privatization, expansion of jails, 0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:57.000 and just creating and sustaining the cycle that we're talking, 0:24:57.040 --> 0:24:58.960 we're hearing and talked about in so much of the music. 0:24:59.040 --> 0:25:01.880 How do we get access the treatment and resources? One 0:25:01.920 --> 0:25:04.000 side of it is acts as a treatment and resources 0:25:04.160 --> 0:25:08.280 logic certainly seems to think so. As you may recall, 0:25:08.400 --> 0:25:12.200 in twenty seventeen, Logic partnered with the National Suicide Prevention 0:25:12.280 --> 0:25:16.000 Hotline on his song one eight hundred to seven three 0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:19.919 eight to five five, known colloquially as one eight hundred, 0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:23.480 which is the number for the hotline. The first hook 0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:26.359 and verse of the song is from the perspective of 0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:28.560 someone who is calling the hotline and they want to 0:25:28.560 --> 0:25:31.600 admit suicide. This is followed by a second chorus where 0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:35.439 the protagonists ostensively finds the will to live again. So 0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:38.119 this hotline that he parted with, it's funded by the U. S. 0:25:38.119 --> 0:25:41.000 Suthens Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, which is an 0:25:41.040 --> 0:25:43.960 agency within the U S. Department of Health and Human 0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:48.760 Services um UH SAMSA I guess as you could call it. 0:25:48.800 --> 0:25:52.360 The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration was established 0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:56.520 by Congress in when operating ever since, expanding through some 0:25:56.560 --> 0:25:59.280 pieces of federal legislation over the years. But in the 0:25:59.320 --> 0:26:04.320 week's fall release, calls directed to the National Suicide Prevention 0:26:04.359 --> 0:26:08.600 Hotline rose by and visits to their website increase from 0:26:08.600 --> 0:26:12.000 three hundred thousand to four thousand. Over the following months, 0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:15.440 um the hotline told things of the Rolling Stone that 0:26:15.520 --> 0:26:19.560 they received the second highest daily call volume ever. It's 0:26:19.600 --> 0:26:22.440 over four thousand calls on the day that the song 0:26:22.720 --> 0:26:26.399 was released. So it really save some lives. You literally 0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:27.480 save us the lives. I mean a lot of people 0:26:27.480 --> 0:26:29.320 talk about how hip hop save their lives and like, 0:26:29.359 --> 0:26:31.160 I'm one of those folks too that they definitely would 0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:32.760 not be here today if it was not for hip hop. 0:26:33.080 --> 0:26:36.359 But this nick out here literally like savor lines like 0:26:36.640 --> 0:26:40.760 you call this number and you know, and help people. 0:26:41.200 --> 0:26:43.280 But that that's the thing, you know, it's the thing 0:26:43.359 --> 0:26:46.000 that we always It's kind of like a recurring theme 0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:49.639 on this show is it's like when rappers have something 0:26:49.720 --> 0:26:53.720 to say and they put it in a song, it's 0:26:54.240 --> 0:26:57.280 I'm sorry. It's just more effective than anything you say 0:26:57.280 --> 0:27:00.080 in any interview. It's just that's just what it comes 0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:04.680 down to you. I firmly believe that, Yeah, it gets 0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:07.320 into your psyche and has this level of credibility that 0:27:07.400 --> 0:27:10.200 you can't find even if you go see a mental 0:27:10.200 --> 0:27:12.840 health professional, like talking to a therapist that might seem 0:27:12.880 --> 0:27:14.679 scared to you, but logic telling you to caul this 0:27:14.720 --> 0:27:20.080 hotline is something that seems accessible and trustworthy. Now we 0:27:20.160 --> 0:27:24.399 got a British rapper Dave and his debuse debut solo 0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:28.879 album Psychodrama, which won the brit Award for Album of 0:27:28.880 --> 0:27:32.119 the Year Now. The album followed Dave's therapy session. He 0:27:32.160 --> 0:27:34.919 discusses his older brothers and the impact of their prison 0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:37.920 the prison convictions had him, as well as his struggles 0:27:37.920 --> 0:27:40.879 with mental health and the challenges facing black working class 0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:43.880 used in britt We've talked a lot about the environmental 0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:48.639 impacts on mental health um with regards to access to 0:27:48.800 --> 0:27:52.400 resources for stability in the community, but the song environment 0:27:52.480 --> 0:27:54.880 kind of also proved that making it out doesn't necessarily 0:27:54.960 --> 0:27:58.199 heal trauma or bring fulfillment necessarily. Let's listen to it 0:27:58.240 --> 0:28:01.760 real quick. Welcome from there's no clause to get truth. 0:28:02.359 --> 0:28:07.400 We've got out. So he's talking about, you know, it's 0:28:07.440 --> 0:28:10.120 got the flashy cars and the gold chain, but really 0:28:10.119 --> 0:28:12.840 what he sees the lack of self worth and battle scars, 0:28:12.880 --> 0:28:18.359 the way that people use these material possessions um ostentiously 0:28:18.440 --> 0:28:21.640 to hide what's really going on underneath. And like all 0:28:21.680 --> 0:28:23.960 throughout the songs talking about kind of like running from 0:28:24.000 --> 0:28:28.600 your problems by seeking out material comforts, be they you 0:28:28.640 --> 0:28:33.399 know what it wealth or talk about you know, having 0:28:33.440 --> 0:28:37.400 sexual groupies or whatever you gotta do to like avoid 0:28:37.560 --> 0:28:41.000 dealing with what you feel underneath yeah, different different forms 0:28:41.000 --> 0:28:45.800 of yeah dope. Effectively, this is similar to this kind 0:28:45.840 --> 0:28:47.880 of was the same sort of theme throughout Tyler the 0:28:47.880 --> 0:28:50.200 Creator's last album called Me If You Get Lost, just 0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:53.400 like that simp concept of I'm feeling sad, I'm gonna 0:28:53.400 --> 0:28:57.680 go buy a car today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly UM 0:28:57.720 --> 0:29:00.800 and then UM. At the end of the song, it 0:29:00.880 --> 0:29:03.160 ends with a rebuttal from his therapist, so the beat 0:29:03.200 --> 0:29:05.360 drops out and he hears theres kind of respond like 0:29:06.920 --> 0:29:11.280 I can't remember um, and then we got We've got 0:29:11.320 --> 0:29:14.240 a number of people actually talk about UM going to 0:29:14.280 --> 0:29:17.040 therapy asat rock and His song Shrunk Up of his 0:29:17.080 --> 0:29:20.800 two thousand and sixteen album The Impossible Kid discusses navigating 0:29:20.800 --> 0:29:24.560 the bureaucracy of mental health care. Um. He starts out 0:29:24.560 --> 0:29:26.640 filling out a form at the front desk and sitting 0:29:26.640 --> 0:29:29.160 awkwardly in the waiting room, and then recounts a combative 0:29:29.200 --> 0:29:32.080 conversation with the therapist, most finally in her office. In fact, 0:29:32.400 --> 0:29:35.080 in the music video for the song, his visit to 0:29:35.120 --> 0:29:37.600 the therapist office is recast is like a video game 0:29:38.000 --> 0:29:40.440 where he has to beat various bosses in order to 0:29:40.480 --> 0:29:42.880 get to the therapist, who he then engages in a 0:29:42.960 --> 0:29:45.640 final boss battle. Let's check out a little bit of that. 0:29:45.880 --> 0:29:50.200 My medical history is the course Sooner Buffalo Charlottean Psychiatry 0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:54.720 and trouble Suiting. What are the barriers to accessing mental 0:29:54.720 --> 0:29:56.520 health care? Yeah, well, he talks about some of them 0:29:56.520 --> 0:29:59.360 in the song, like filling out the paperwork and making 0:29:59.400 --> 0:30:01.960 sure it's some covered by your insurance. And it's it's 0:30:02.040 --> 0:30:05.920 simple things like taking time off work to go to 0:30:05.960 --> 0:30:08.760 get the appointment. Um, and the fear of like when 0:30:08.840 --> 0:30:11.240 you sit down in that chair in the person's office, 0:30:11.680 --> 0:30:13.600 having to bear your soul. It's not an easy thing. 0:30:13.760 --> 0:30:16.440 But there's a lot of institutional barriers in addition to 0:30:16.560 --> 0:30:21.840 like the psycho social ones. Um, I mean ship some 0:30:21.920 --> 0:30:25.200 real talk about my own personal experience real quick. Um. 0:30:25.480 --> 0:30:28.800 I'm on Medicaid because I don't have insurance to my 0:30:28.840 --> 0:30:31.280 employer anymore. I used to have it through the University 0:30:31.280 --> 0:30:34.920 of Georgia. And um, I've been on I've been on 0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:38.880 medication for like I guess almost a couple of years now, 0:30:38.920 --> 0:30:42.480 for like depression, YadA YadA, Dad YadA YadA. Um, Well 0:30:42.800 --> 0:30:45.680 it turns out it's uh, it wasn't there a Medicaid 0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:48.120 didn't want to cover it, and so when I went 0:30:48.200 --> 0:30:49.960 to just you know, just go get it refilled a 0:30:50.000 --> 0:30:51.920 couple of weeks ago, they were like, Hey, that's gonna 0:30:51.960 --> 0:30:56.080 be twelve hundred dollars um as opposed to the fifteen 0:30:56.200 --> 0:30:58.880 I have been paying for the last like two years. Um. 0:30:59.240 --> 0:31:02.720 So I'm running back and forth between like my psychiatrists 0:31:02.720 --> 0:31:05.560 and my doctor trying to get the right paperwork, you know, 0:31:05.720 --> 0:31:09.000 rationing my medication because you know, like about to run 0:31:09.000 --> 0:31:12.400 out and then running out entirely, all while also trying 0:31:12.440 --> 0:31:16.360 to like have the will to call the psychiatrist back 0:31:16.400 --> 0:31:18.240 and be like, Yo, did you fill that paperwork today? 0:31:18.440 --> 0:31:20.760 Can I go pick up my meds today? Imagining like 0:31:20.800 --> 0:31:24.400 if I hadn't had social support to like go jump 0:31:24.440 --> 0:31:26.880 through all those hoops, A lot of people don't, and 0:31:26.880 --> 0:31:29.200 a lot of people do end up like just ending 0:31:29.240 --> 0:31:32.160 it like like, nah, I can't handle I can't handle 0:31:32.400 --> 0:31:35.160 stay on the phone with these insurance people. I can't handle. 0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:38.800 You know, I don't have the money to like I like, 0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:40.040 I got to the point where I was like, I'm 0:31:40.040 --> 0:31:42.640 about to put in my credit card right now and 0:31:42.760 --> 0:31:45.000 get the ship, because like this is getting really bad, 0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:50.360 like imagining the both the financial and the bureaucratic barriers access. 0:31:50.360 --> 0:31:54.000 It's not even imagining. It's like, yo, I'm ship. It's 0:31:54.080 --> 0:31:57.360 brutal um. So I can totally understand why people don't 0:31:57.360 --> 0:31:59.760 even want to, like they don't even know what it's like, 0:31:59.800 --> 0:32:01.880 but assume it's too hard and don't even try to 0:32:01.960 --> 0:32:03.880 get out to get help. I mean, if I can 0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:07.800 be candid, that's kind of my situation right now. You know. 0:32:07.920 --> 0:32:11.800 It's like I've for a long time I've wanted to 0:32:11.840 --> 0:32:15.920 talk to somebody about my dad. Just my father passed away. 0:32:15.960 --> 0:32:20.320 I didn't really take the time to process or grieve properly, 0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:22.400 you know what I'm saying. I just kind of kept 0:32:22.440 --> 0:32:27.080 going on business as usual. So lately, the older than 0:32:27.160 --> 0:32:29.320 getting it's like, man, I think I should finally sit 0:32:29.400 --> 0:32:33.400 down and talk to somebody, But because I'm already busy, 0:32:34.040 --> 0:32:36.480 like the additional hurdles of like everything that you said, 0:32:36.560 --> 0:32:40.040 from setting it up to all the paperwork, to taking 0:32:40.080 --> 0:32:41.920 the time off of the things that I'm doing to 0:32:42.040 --> 0:32:43.840 do it, It's just it's hard, you know. You know 0:32:43.880 --> 0:32:46.720 what I'm saying, and like I have, I have a 0:32:46.800 --> 0:32:49.120 relatively mild case of it because like I just kind 0:32:49.120 --> 0:32:51.000 of feel like I need to talk to someone, you 0:32:51.040 --> 0:32:53.000 know what I mean, My ship doesn't feel like a 0:32:53.040 --> 0:32:57.560 life or death issue, but there's millions of people who are, yeah, 0:32:57.640 --> 0:33:00.160 and and little issues. I mean, yours is not small, 0:33:00.240 --> 0:33:03.440 let me clarify. But things that go on treated for 0:33:03.480 --> 0:33:05.760 a while can compound. So I'd be thinking, you know, 0:33:05.920 --> 0:33:08.200 I'm handling this well for a while, but you don't 0:33:08.200 --> 0:33:12.080 actually like the process that ship can build up, you know, 0:33:12.200 --> 0:33:15.800 And so something that wasn't rapping and not talking to 0:33:15.800 --> 0:33:21.960 somebody for the last eight years, she she, she, let's 0:33:21.960 --> 0:33:23.840 talk about some of the other reasons why people don't 0:33:24.280 --> 0:33:27.720 get help. So we talked a little bit about stigma, um, 0:33:27.800 --> 0:33:31.160 which you know, people are scared of, not like backlash, 0:33:31.200 --> 0:33:33.560 of being honest, you know, being honest with their employer, 0:33:33.960 --> 0:33:36.800 being honest with their friends and family, being judged for 0:33:36.920 --> 0:33:39.800 what they're going there rather than support it. Um. And 0:33:40.000 --> 0:33:43.320 we spoke some as well about the normalization of of 0:33:43.600 --> 0:33:49.000 of emotional like inner turmoil, the assumption that everyone feels 0:33:49.040 --> 0:33:53.840 this way. UM. I definitely before I started like doing therapy, 0:33:53.920 --> 0:33:57.160 like thought that I feel like, oh, the like morbid 0:33:57.200 --> 0:33:59.360 thoughts I would have, or like whatever struggles I was 0:33:59.400 --> 0:34:01.040 going through every what went through them, and then I 0:34:01.040 --> 0:34:03.920 would like talk to someone. UM. Remember one time I 0:34:04.120 --> 0:34:06.680 made my friend cry. I was just like talking. I 0:34:06.720 --> 0:34:09.160 was like, oh, you know, I've had this on my 0:34:09.200 --> 0:34:11.239 mind and that on my mind and not feeling great, 0:34:11.280 --> 0:34:14.400 and she like sobbed hearing me, hearing me talk about it, 0:34:14.440 --> 0:34:16.520 I was like, oh, ship, I didn't realize that was 0:34:16.560 --> 0:34:20.480 that bad. Like those moments where you're like, huh wow, 0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:23.400 this is more severe than I had. Soon because we 0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:26.799 don't talk about it, we can normalize it inside. But 0:34:26.880 --> 0:34:30.600 then there's you know, structural barriers in addition to those 0:34:30.600 --> 0:34:34.839 cultural ones UM talk about, like lack of mental health 0:34:34.840 --> 0:34:39.120 care professionals and low income communities, particularly culturally responsive care, 0:34:39.160 --> 0:34:42.319 so being access getting access to someone who looks like you, 0:34:42.360 --> 0:34:46.480 who's from your same background. UM. The US is facing 0:34:46.520 --> 0:34:50.160 an overall shortage of doctors, but the shortage of mental 0:34:50.160 --> 0:34:53.520 health care professionals is steeper than in any other category, 0:34:54.160 --> 0:35:00.000 part because UM of low reimbursements from government and private 0:35:00.040 --> 0:35:03.040 insurance or mental health care people don't even go into 0:35:03.040 --> 0:35:05.120 that field because they're like, I'm not gonna make any 0:35:05.160 --> 0:35:08.120 money doing it. Um, or when they get out, they 0:35:08.280 --> 0:35:12.000 choose to make people pay out of pocket for their services. UM. 0:35:12.000 --> 0:35:16.080 Private sector and ship yep. So you know, urban clinics 0:35:16.120 --> 0:35:19.319 and providers often have long waiting lists and people can 0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:22.120 wait for months before they get a basic intake appointment. 0:35:22.360 --> 0:35:26.400 Affordability is also an obstacle as well. Um. Things improved 0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:29.600 with the A c A. With the Mental Health Parity 0:35:29.680 --> 0:35:33.840 and Addiction Equity Act two thousand eight requires insurance groups 0:35:33.880 --> 0:35:37.960 offering coverage for mental health or substance use disorders to 0:35:38.000 --> 0:35:41.680 make these benefits comparable to the general medical coverage. It 0:35:41.760 --> 0:35:46.960 required that deductibles, co pays out of pocket maximums, treatment limitations, 0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:50.880 and other mental health or substance use disorders related costs 0:35:51.280 --> 0:35:54.360 must be no more restrictive than the same requirements or 0:35:54.400 --> 0:35:58.040 benefits offered to other medic for other medical care. But 0:35:58.160 --> 0:36:01.720 even with that, you know, um, the cost of treatment 0:36:01.840 --> 0:36:05.320 still often limits people's access to mental health services or 0:36:05.600 --> 0:36:11.480 knowledge again, knowledge of the maze of our insurance bureaucracy. Um, 0:36:11.719 --> 0:36:14.799 there's the assumption that it will cost a lot. So 0:36:14.920 --> 0:36:18.680 even when there are like low cost resources, I think 0:36:18.680 --> 0:36:20.440 for example, here in Athens, we have this thing called 0:36:20.480 --> 0:36:24.960 Newchie Space where you can get sliding scale UM counseling, 0:36:25.520 --> 0:36:29.759 particularly for musicians UM, and a lot of people don't 0:36:29.760 --> 0:36:32.440 even go because they're they're just people just assume that 0:36:32.520 --> 0:36:34.520 is it will cost too much, and they're not wrong, 0:36:34.560 --> 0:36:38.120 because these fucking insurance companies try to gauge you bleed 0:36:38.160 --> 0:36:42.319 you dry for everything and every last red cent, every 0:36:42.400 --> 0:36:48.400 last red cent. But it's not necessarily UM, cut and dry, 0:36:48.480 --> 0:36:51.280 that health care expansion is enough to fix the problem. 0:36:51.440 --> 0:36:54.080 Listeners of the show no that I'm a vulnerative Medicare 0:36:54.080 --> 0:36:59.840 for all UM. But in two Oregon held a randomized 0:37:00.040 --> 0:37:03.280 uttering to decide which low income people would receive Medicaid. 0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:06.400 Two studies UM done in the aftermath by M. I. T. 0:37:06.600 --> 0:37:11.000 And Harvard found that medicaid coverage generated no significant improvements 0:37:11.000 --> 0:37:15.279 in measured physical measured physical health outcomes in the first 0:37:15.280 --> 0:37:19.080 two years, but it did lower rates of self reported 0:37:19.120 --> 0:37:24.440 depression by ten. Reasons for this, I think that UM 0:37:24.600 --> 0:37:28.360 access to mental health care SURE probably lowered self recorded 0:37:28.440 --> 0:37:32.280 rates of depression. People were probably also less suppressed because 0:37:32.320 --> 0:37:35.520 they weren't stressed about having health coveraged. Yeah, it was 0:37:35.600 --> 0:37:37.160 one last thing to worry about. So like, yeah, I 0:37:37.200 --> 0:37:39.840 would say I'm happier than if I couldn't see a 0:37:39.880 --> 0:37:43.600 doctor at all. I mean, I think that's that would 0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:46.640 be a benefit of Medicare for all as well. Is that, 0:37:46.840 --> 0:37:49.399 like you said, like just on a massive level, like 0:37:50.120 --> 0:37:53.000 just that one stress of life could just take that 0:37:53.040 --> 0:37:55.279 away because everybody knows that they have health care, you 0:37:55.280 --> 0:37:56.920 know what I'm saying, So they know that if something 0:37:57.000 --> 0:38:01.000 does happen, they're not just teetering on the edge of collapsed. Yeah. 0:38:01.000 --> 0:38:03.120 And so that's why I even post the question of 0:38:03.120 --> 0:38:05.560 whether health care expansions and never fix the problem was 0:38:05.680 --> 0:38:10.800 ultimately when this study kind of proved, I would say earliest. 0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.759 It suggests, let's say, um that when you have less 0:38:13.760 --> 0:38:15.319 to worry about, your less deppressed. And I think this 0:38:15.440 --> 0:38:21.920 extends to multiple categories of social need um um, from 0:38:22.000 --> 0:38:24.120 if you're less worried about housing, you're less suppressed. If 0:38:24.120 --> 0:38:27.520 you're less worried about where your food, you're less depressed. 0:38:27.560 --> 0:38:30.360 If you're happier in your school environment, you're less suppressed, 0:38:31.000 --> 0:38:34.799 which speaks then to the need for community based solutions 0:38:34.800 --> 0:38:36.799 to get at the root crosses for why people are 0:38:36.840 --> 0:38:43.319 experiencing mental health problems, you know, issues about ravage therapy, 0:38:43.760 --> 0:38:46.799 rappist therapy, I mean, um, in the mean term, in 0:38:46.840 --> 0:38:51.239 the meantime, until we refund our social services so that 0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:55.239 people ain't so stressed about various things lead them to 0:38:55.680 --> 0:38:59.680 you know, poor coping of various kinds. We have hip 0:38:59.680 --> 0:39:04.560 hop UM. I'm definitely found it super therapeutic to rap 0:39:04.600 --> 0:39:09.040 about various things I've been through, UM to both like 0:39:09.120 --> 0:39:11.879 sort of accept them as like to process them both, 0:39:11.920 --> 0:39:14.560 like just by writing them out on paper, but saying 0:39:14.600 --> 0:39:16.680 them out loud so many times in front of like 0:39:16.800 --> 0:39:20.840 audience is sort of like it's almost like exercising a demon, like, ha, 0:39:21.320 --> 0:39:25.560 y'all have that that's not you know, I'm casting you out. 0:39:26.040 --> 0:39:28.920 I find I find that like listening to shipped to 0:39:29.200 --> 0:39:34.520 helps me identify stuff. Yeah, like hearing somebody else talking 0:39:34.560 --> 0:39:37.879 about their own ships, like it helps me identify oh 0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:39.720 you know what, I kind of feel that way too, 0:39:39.800 --> 0:39:41.880 And then you know that gets the mind going as 0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:44.359 to with what's the root of that feeling and where 0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:46.600 it's coming from and stuff like that. I mean, it's 0:39:47.120 --> 0:39:50.160 it's kind of cliche best, but you know for musicians 0:39:50.160 --> 0:39:53.640 like oh, then this is my therapy band, right, you know, 0:39:53.760 --> 0:39:57.080 It's like it's like I need it, but I don't 0:39:57.080 --> 0:40:01.839 know it just it really is. It's like for any 0:40:01.880 --> 0:40:05.760 emotion too. It's it doesn't all necessarily have to be negative. 0:40:05.800 --> 0:40:10.080 But even getting out positive emotions and positive thoughts, whether 0:40:10.120 --> 0:40:12.680 it be in wrapping or listening to WRAP, I find 0:40:12.680 --> 0:40:16.880 it can be help helping and southing. And some scholars 0:40:16.920 --> 0:40:21.000 whore starting to take to wrap us therapy staying seriously UM, 0:40:21.040 --> 0:40:23.959 identifying a lot of what you know we're talking about 0:40:24.080 --> 0:40:28.040 right here, and thinking about how to UM use that 0:40:28.080 --> 0:40:32.320 in more clinical settings to help folks UM. The University 0:40:32.320 --> 0:40:34.920 of Cambridge has supported a project known as the Hip 0:40:34.960 --> 0:40:37.480 Hop Psyche Initiative that aims to use hip hop to 0:40:37.560 --> 0:40:40.840 improve people's mental health and to address issues including stigma 0:40:40.880 --> 0:40:43.680 towards mental illness under the lack of diversity within the 0:40:43.680 --> 0:40:46.840 psychiatric profession. In their article on the topic, the co 0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:49.960 founders gave the example of Juicy Meditorious b I G. 0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:53.120 Which he dedicated to all of the teachers that told 0:40:53.160 --> 0:40:56.040 me I'd never amount to nothing, to all the people 0:40:56.160 --> 0:40:59.560 that live above the building that I was hustling in 0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:01.640 front of of that called the police on me when 0:41:01.640 --> 0:41:03.479 I was just trying to make some money to feed 0:41:03.480 --> 0:41:06.640 my daughter, but goes on to describe how he has 0:41:06.680 --> 0:41:12.880 become successful psychogenesis when out with that drop, I couldn't pictures. 0:41:13.320 --> 0:41:18.440 The co founders point out similarities with possible positive visual 0:41:18.480 --> 0:41:22.680 imagery technique investigated by Professor Emily Holmes group at the 0:41:22.760 --> 0:41:25.719 University of Oxford UM. This technique is a form of 0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:27.920 therapy in which the patient is encouraged to use the 0:41:27.920 --> 0:41:30.560 power of their imagination to help them through difficult times, 0:41:30.920 --> 0:41:34.959 including things like depression or bipolar episodes, and so they 0:41:35.160 --> 0:41:38.960 then um seeing some of these similarities, I thought that 0:41:39.000 --> 0:41:44.160 by integrating hip hop into psychotherapies, they they could refine 0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:47.600 their tools as psychologists to make them more relevant to 0:41:47.640 --> 0:41:52.040 their users. I mean this, this is that they could 0:41:52.040 --> 0:41:55.120 have used a bunch of examples for that same exact 0:41:55.200 --> 0:41:58.560 point other than you see. I mean the first popular 0:41:58.880 --> 0:42:03.680 successful wraps off literally is that the sugar Hill Gang 0:42:04.760 --> 0:42:07.560 Hop hivoted hip hop HIV. You don't stop, I got 0:42:07.640 --> 0:42:10.520 a linked in Continental you know what I'm saying. Yeah, 0:42:10.719 --> 0:42:14.760 Like those guys were wrapping about that before they had 0:42:14.800 --> 0:42:17.640 any of that stuff, and it was because it was 0:42:17.680 --> 0:42:20.799 empowering to them, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, And 0:42:20.840 --> 0:42:24.719 so like they're identifying these cops that we just organically 0:42:24.760 --> 0:42:28.520 have in the community and thinking about how to you know, 0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:33.160 perhaps augment them with other aspects of psychotherapy in order 0:42:33.200 --> 0:42:36.120 to help people in a culturally relevant way. Where it's like, Yo, 0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:38.719 sitting down on a couch in an office talk to 0:42:38.760 --> 0:42:41.040 some white lady in the lab coat does not sound 0:42:41.040 --> 0:42:43.560 super healing to me. But when you bring these things 0:42:43.600 --> 0:42:46.760 in that do resonate with people, it helps make therapy 0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:51.960 more accessible. Now, is there any sort of like downside 0:42:52.080 --> 0:42:55.239 or negative to this, because I just I just kind 0:42:55.239 --> 0:43:01.040 of feel like if if the if the constant thing 0:43:01.120 --> 0:43:06.480 then is to attribute like material gain and wealth with 0:43:07.600 --> 0:43:10.080 you know, if that's the coke, and that's like all 0:43:10.120 --> 0:43:13.480 it is. There's no other exploration of or I don't 0:43:13.520 --> 0:43:15.400 want to say there's no other exploration, but just in 0:43:15.480 --> 0:43:18.359 terms of like when when hip hop is dealing with 0:43:18.400 --> 0:43:22.759 like positive reinforcement on this level, it seems to be 0:43:22.800 --> 0:43:25.960 like Almo always in terms of like, well you could 0:43:25.960 --> 0:43:28.399 be rich and it would be better. Yeah. I mean, 0:43:28.480 --> 0:43:30.960 because of the society we live in, it is often 0:43:30.960 --> 0:43:35.200 tied to material gain, but I think you could um 0:43:35.440 --> 0:43:39.359 recast the use of positive visual imagery to really mean 0:43:39.480 --> 0:43:42.320 lots of different things. Um. You know, maybe I called 0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:44.680 my mom the other day and it really made me 0:43:44.760 --> 0:43:47.799 feel good. Yeah, I went for a walk in the 0:43:47.800 --> 0:43:49.680 park and it was nope, play ball with the cat 0:43:49.840 --> 0:43:53.520 or you think about um, it was a good day. 0:43:53.719 --> 0:43:56.320 What you're talking about? You know what he had for breakfast, 0:43:56.640 --> 0:43:59.440 dRIT around the city, didn't get shot as actually beautiful 0:43:59.480 --> 0:44:02.640 woman the good year blim and it reads ice cubes 0:44:02.640 --> 0:44:05.400 to pimp like just you can imagine all kinds of 0:44:05.400 --> 0:44:08.799 things if you have this freedom outlet in which to 0:44:08.920 --> 0:44:12.920 put those imaginings, um, if you have that sort of 0:44:12.960 --> 0:44:16.640 like um context in which it's relevant to like channel 0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:19.319 it as opposed to you know, just thinking in your 0:44:19.320 --> 0:44:21.359 own head. And so I think I think that yes, 0:44:21.400 --> 0:44:25.280 it is shaped both by UM corporatism and music industry, 0:44:25.880 --> 0:44:29.040 which itself is shaped by living in a capitalist society. 0:44:29.680 --> 0:44:31.200 But it doesn't have to be like that. You can 0:44:31.320 --> 0:44:33.879 use the positive visual imagery to talk about any kind 0:44:33.880 --> 0:44:38.719 of stuff that you want to actualize. I imagine. So 0:44:38.840 --> 0:44:42.360 in closing out, if you or anyone you know is 0:44:42.400 --> 0:44:47.320 struggling with suicidal thoughts and or distress. The National Suicide 0:44:47.360 --> 0:44:54.399 Prevention Lifeline is available and that's AD to seven, three, 0:44:54.680 --> 0:45:00.160 eight to five, So forget But um, as we end day, 0:45:00.200 --> 0:45:02.279 let's circle back around to Mind Playing Tricks On Me. 0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:04.360 All right, we're gonna get into that. That's gonna be 0:45:04.360 --> 0:45:06.440 our music discussion. I know we had like music playing 0:45:06.440 --> 0:45:08.680 all throughout this motherfucker, but like this is gonna be 0:45:08.719 --> 0:45:11.120 the actual music discussion. So we'll be back with that 0:45:11.239 --> 0:45:19.640 after the job. All right, we are back. I've been 0:45:19.640 --> 0:45:23.320 waiting to get in this dirt. No Dirt Dirt easily 0:45:23.360 --> 0:45:26.360 one of the most famous songs in hip hop history. 0:45:26.440 --> 0:45:31.120 We are talking about the nine song Mine Playing Tricks 0:45:31.200 --> 0:45:36.000 On Me by the Ghetto Boys Bushwick Bill, Scarface and 0:45:36.160 --> 0:45:40.560 Oh my goodness, why am I brain? Oh my brain 0:45:40.680 --> 0:45:48.040 fartingty No, you didn't, I forgot his name. Ghetto Boys 0:45:48.400 --> 0:45:55.760 Willie D. Really I'm tripping? All right? Um, So Mine's 0:45:55.800 --> 0:45:59.760 Playing Tricks is off their album We Can't be stopped. 0:46:00.160 --> 0:46:03.120 The lyrics, like we said before, they describe mental anguish. 0:46:03.480 --> 0:46:06.800 The exhaustive life is a gangster including deal with symptoms 0:46:06.800 --> 0:46:12.640 of post traumatic stress disorder, paranoia, suicidal and suicidal ideations 0:46:12.640 --> 0:46:16.040 and loneliness. It also samples hung up on My Baby 0:46:16.080 --> 0:46:18.640 by Isaac Hayes. Just to give you, you know, some 0:46:18.680 --> 0:46:20.560 little some stats about it. What else we got, oh, 0:46:20.719 --> 0:46:24.719 Rolling Stones ranked this as the fifth greatest hip hop 0:46:24.760 --> 0:46:28.000 song of all time. I have no idea how they 0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:30.919 determine that, but it sounds right. That's good. I'll take it. 0:46:31.680 --> 0:46:35.400 Um in Scarface co Incidentally, I think we've discussed previously 0:46:35.400 --> 0:46:38.520 on the show Sink ran for Houston City Council. Yeah, 0:46:38.560 --> 0:46:40.839 he did. He did last year, maybe year before that. 0:46:41.680 --> 0:46:46.120 People don't know about Scarface is Scarface plays like every 0:46:46.160 --> 0:46:49.680 instrument on some prince ship. Yeah, like he as a 0:46:49.680 --> 0:46:51.279 matter of fact, like if you were to go see 0:46:51.320 --> 0:46:55.240 a scar Face show, it's probably him in a jazz 0:46:55.239 --> 0:46:57.960 band with him playing the guitar, looking like good BB 0:46:58.080 --> 0:47:02.040 King and ship like for real, but some new every day. 0:47:02.120 --> 0:47:06.000 Something else I learned today is that Scarface's grandmother is 0:47:06.040 --> 0:47:09.560 credited for the song's title. Um told She told MTV. 0:47:09.960 --> 0:47:12.440 Um it's a strange way of how we came about it. 0:47:12.480 --> 0:47:14.160 I come through the room and I think I was 0:47:14.200 --> 0:47:16.080 just kind of mumbled into myself and my lips and 0:47:16.160 --> 0:47:19.360 work into something. He said, Mama, what are you talking about? 0:47:19.880 --> 0:47:22.279 And I said, oh, nothing, My mom's just playing choice 0:47:22.320 --> 0:47:24.120 on me. And I didn't have no idea he was 0:47:24.120 --> 0:47:26.160 gonna go out and be making a song about it, 0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:30.239 but indeed he did so, Thanks Grandma Scarface. Man. I 0:47:30.280 --> 0:47:34.440 wish I could share those war stories about the conversations 0:47:34.480 --> 0:47:37.400 that me and my mom had that inspired me so 0:47:37.800 --> 0:47:42.240 because it's it's not as heart war as um Gangster 0:47:42.320 --> 0:47:45.320 Rap may have been. This is a quote from NPR 0:47:45.360 --> 0:47:48.560 about song Gangster Rat. May have been America's nightmare in 0:47:48.560 --> 0:47:51.560 the eighties and nineties, but it was also America's creation. 0:47:51.840 --> 0:47:54.399 There's a post traumatic stress that comes along with being 0:47:54.400 --> 0:47:57.600 black in this country. It's almost part of your inheritance. 0:47:58.000 --> 0:48:00.920 And the feeling was compounded by the Crow era, by 0:48:00.920 --> 0:48:04.279 the War on drugs, by over policing, and nascart incarceration. 0:48:04.719 --> 0:48:07.360 This was an arrow when it wasn't at all unusual 0:48:07.440 --> 0:48:12.120 to hear young black men referred to as an endangered species. 0:48:12.520 --> 0:48:15.040 And the worst of it, we were being told that 0:48:15.080 --> 0:48:17.360 we were the ones that should be feared the most. 0:48:18.200 --> 0:48:20.479 Day by day, it's more impossible to cope. I feel 0:48:20.520 --> 0:48:22.840 like I'm the one that's doing dope can't keep my 0:48:22.880 --> 0:48:26.160 steady hand because I'm nervous. Everyday morning I'm in service, 0:48:26.200 --> 0:48:28.399 praying for forgiveness and trying to find an exit out 0:48:28.400 --> 0:48:30.239 the business. I know the Lord is looking at me, 0:48:30.640 --> 0:48:32.600 but yeah, yeah, and still it's hard for me to 0:48:32.640 --> 0:48:36.040 feel happy. Often drift when a drive haven't fatal, thoughts 0:48:36.040 --> 0:48:38.279 to suicide, bang and get it over with and then 0:48:38.320 --> 0:48:40.400 I'm very free. But that's bullshit. And he goes on 0:48:40.440 --> 0:48:42.480 to talk about how I think his daughter needs him, 0:48:42.480 --> 0:48:46.080 his family needs him. Um, but yeah, I mean a 0:48:46.120 --> 0:48:50.200 lot of this exactly what they're describing. I would doubt 0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.959 that this is like the first rap song to deal 0:48:53.120 --> 0:48:56.560 with the subject matter, but it definitely was the first 0:48:56.960 --> 0:49:00.160 popular song that you know that I can recall hearing 0:49:00.160 --> 0:49:01.560 about the subject matter. And then again, you know, I 0:49:01.600 --> 0:49:04.520 think I was like only like five or six time 0:49:04.640 --> 0:49:06.759 or something like that. But yeah, I mean people talk 0:49:06.800 --> 0:49:09.680 about like the message I think as another one, but 0:49:09.800 --> 0:49:14.880 this one really gets into like like deep characterization. The 0:49:14.920 --> 0:49:18.040 message is more like about the condition, and this is 0:49:20.040 --> 0:49:23.480 exactly exactly. And I mean at a time when you 0:49:23.600 --> 0:49:26.560 turn on you know, if you if you could just 0:49:27.560 --> 0:49:29.839 teleport yourself to back, then you know what I'm saying, 0:49:29.880 --> 0:49:33.160 if like you're turning on MTV and ship like that, 0:49:33.200 --> 0:49:37.680 you're seeing Snoop Dogg, G funk Era, Low Ride, you 0:49:37.719 --> 0:49:40.440 know what I'm saying. Dr Dre and the chronic iced 0:49:40.440 --> 0:49:43.920 t N w Ay So for the ghetto boys not 0:49:44.000 --> 0:49:47.680 only to approach the subject matter from like a different 0:49:47.680 --> 0:49:50.960 angle and talk about it's like mental health impacts, but 0:49:51.000 --> 0:49:54.400 then also to be Southern mcs and doing that, that 0:49:54.520 --> 0:49:58.239 was big. That was big. Someone closing once again, if 0:49:58.239 --> 0:50:01.280 you're struggling out there, all hesitate to call the National 0:50:01.280 --> 0:50:06.040 Suicide Prevention Lifeline twenty four hours a day to seven, three, 0:50:06.520 --> 0:50:09.520 eight to five. And I hope you know as well, 0:50:09.800 --> 0:50:13.239 you can find some therapy in the music Bush Wicked Bill, 0:50:13.360 --> 0:50:16.000 Rest in Peace, Rest in Peace, Brush wo Bill. You 0:50:16.040 --> 0:50:20.000 feel you feel like rapping? Yeah? I feel like Joel Joel. 0:50:20.200 --> 0:50:21.600 One of these days we're going to have to let 0:50:21.680 --> 0:50:34.680 Joel talk. Let's get the rapping. Uh. The taste of 0:50:34.680 --> 0:50:36.560 fame was the young caging of a parakeet that had 0:50:36.640 --> 0:50:38.640 dreamed of freedom, but it never made a choice before. 0:50:38.719 --> 0:50:40.479 But they can have. Repeat is blended in the candic 0:50:40.480 --> 0:50:42.319 cabra juice, and it's a therapist when they're paying me 0:50:42.360 --> 0:50:44.680 to stamp at me. Here's to kick your kiddo. They 0:50:44.719 --> 0:50:46.719 could pitching Nichols for flipping the riddles, which is still 0:50:46.719 --> 0:50:48.800 a sick Oh. She could get end in contest and 0:50:48.840 --> 0:50:50.560 win awards. Still want to stick a sword and in 0:50:50.640 --> 0:50:53.560 instaminute she got stressed, get an image on the billboards, 0:50:53.600 --> 0:50:55.920 demo liters in films court kind of ship A big 0:50:55.920 --> 0:50:57.840 should killed bill for its so she's not impressed for 0:50:57.920 --> 0:51:00.440 the building the film wor Jimmy rig Refridge waited hot 0:51:00.560 --> 0:51:03.279 mess swimming in the figure right indefinitely underwhelmed him to 0:51:03.280 --> 0:51:10.719 buy the tagger Click ultimately hung itself. And you have 0:51:10.800 --> 0:51:16.560 been listening to Waiting on Reparations next week like subscribe 0:51:16.560 --> 0:51:20.720 to five Stars Piece Waiting on Reparations on the production 0:51:20.719 --> 0:51:23.720 of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 0:51:23.800 --> 0:51:26.440 check out the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or 0:51:26.480 --> 0:51:28.040 wherever you get your podcasts.